“
The unfortunate thing about working for yourself is that you have the worst boss in the world. I work every day of the year except at Christmas, when I work a half day.
”
”
David Eddings
“
The worst thing about the internet, as far as Greg's bosses were concerned, was that it was now impossible to distinguish a roomful of people working diligently from a roomful of people taking the What-Kind-of-Dog-Am-I? online personality quiz
”
”
Rainbow Rowell (Attachments)
“
If you are a boss, ask yourself: When you look back at how you’ve treated followers, peers, and superiors, in their eyes, will you have earned the right to be proud of yourself? Or will they believe that you ought to be ashamed of yourself and embarrassed by how you have trampled on others’ dignity day after day?
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race. All through history, mankind has been bullied by scum. Those who lord it over their fellows and toss commands in every direction and would boss the grass in the meadow about which way to bend in the wind are the most depraved kind of prostitutes. They will submit to any indignity, perform any vile act, do anything to achieve power. The worst off-sloughings of the planet are the ingredients of sovereignty. Every government is a parliament of whores. The trouble is, in a democracy the whores are us.
”
”
P.J. O'Rourke (Parliament of Whores: A Lone Humorist Attempts to Explain the Entire U.S. Government)
“
It’s loneliness. Even though I’m surrounded by loved ones who care about me and want only the best, it’s possible they try to help only because they feel the same thing—loneliness—and why, in a gesture of solidarity, you’ll find the phrase “I am useful, even if alone” carved in stone. Though the brain says all is well, the soul is lost, confused, doesn’t know why life is being unfair to it. But we still wake up in the morning and take care of our children, our husband, our lover, our boss, our employees, our students, those dozens of people who make an ordinary day come to life. And we often have a smile on our face and a word of encouragement, because no one can explain their loneliness to others, especially when we are always in good company. But this loneliness exists and eats away at the best parts of us because we must use all our energy to appear happy, even though we will never be able to deceive ourselves. But we insist, every morning, on showing only the rose that blooms, and keep the thorny stem that hurts us and makes us bleed hidden within. Even knowing that everyone, at some point, has felt completely and utterly alone, it is humiliating to say, “I’m lonely, I need company. I need to kill this monster that everyone thinks is as imaginary as a fairy-tale dragon, but isn’t.” But it isn’t. I wait for a pure and virtuous knight, in all his glory, to come defeat it and push it into the abyss for good, but that knight never comes. Yet we cannot lose hope. We start doing things we don’t usually do, daring to go beyond what is fair and necessary. The thorns inside us will grow larger and more overwhelming, yet we cannot give up halfway. Everyone is looking to see the final outcome, as though life were a huge game of chess. We pretend it doesn’t matter whether we win or lose, the important thing is to compete. We root for our true feelings to stay opaque and hidden, but then … … instead of looking for companionship, we isolate ourselves even more in order to lick our wounds in silence. Or we go out for dinner or lunch with people who have nothing to do with our lives and spend the whole time talking about things that are of no importance. We even manage to distract ourselves for a while with drink and celebration, but the dragon lives on until the people who are close to us see that something is wrong and begin to blame themselves for not making us happy. They ask what the problem is. We say that everything is fine, but it’s not … Everything is awful. Please, leave me alone, because I have no more tears to cry or heart left to suffer. All I have is insomnia, emptiness, and apathy, and, if you just ask yourselves, you’re feeling the same thing. But they insist that this is just a rough patch or depression because they are afraid to use the real and damning word: loneliness. Meanwhile, we continue to relentlessly pursue the only thing that would make us happy: the knight in shining armor who will slay the dragon, pick the rose, and clip the thorns. Many claim that life is unfair. Others are happy because they believe that this is exactly what we deserve: loneliness, unhappiness. Because we have everything and they don’t. But one day those who are blind begin to see. Those who are sad are comforted. Those who suffer are saved. The knight arrives to rescue us, and life is vindicated once again. Still, you have to lie and cheat, because this time the circumstances are different. Who hasn’t felt the urge to drop everything and go in search of their dream? A dream is always risky, for there is a price to pay. That price is death by stoning in some countries, and in others it could be social ostracism or indifference. But there is always a price to pay. You keep lying and people pretend they still believe, but secretly they are jealous, make comments behind your back, say you’re the very worst, most threatening thing there is. You are not an adulterous man, tolerated and often even admired, but an adulterous woman, one who is ...
”
”
Paulo Coelho (Adultery)
“
Tell me what you do with the food you eat, and I'll tell you who you are. Some turn their food into fat and manure, some into work and good humor, and others, I'm told, into God. So there must be three sorts of men. I'm not one of the worst, boss, nor yet one of the best. I'm somewhere in between the two. What I eat I turn into work and good humor. That's not too bad, after all!'
He looked at me wickedly and started laughing.
'As for you, boss,' he said, 'I think you do your level best to turn what you eat into God. But you can't quite manage it, and that torments you. The same thing's happening to you as happened to the crow.'
'What happened to the crow, Zorba?'
'Well, you see, he used to walk respectably, properly - well, like a crow. But one day he got it into his head to try and strut about like a pigeon. And from that time on the poor fellow couldn't for the life of him recall his own way of walking. He was all mixed up, don't you see? He just hobbled about.
”
”
Nikos Kazantzakis (Zorba the Greek)
“
Listen to those under your supervision. Really listen. Don’t act as if you’re listening and let it go in one ear and out the other. Faking it is worse than not doing it at all.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
Bosses shape how people spend their days and whether they experience joy or despair, perform well or badly, or are healthy or sick. Unfortunately, there are hoards of mediocre and downright rotten bosses out there, and big gaps between the best and the worst.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
Fight as if you are right, listen as if you are wrong.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
The best bosses do more than charge up people, and recruit and breed energizers. They eliminate the negative, because even a few bad apples and destructive acts can undermine many good people and constructive acts.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
The sins of the flesh are bad, but they are the least bad of all sins. All the worst pleasures are purely spiritual: the pleasure of putting other people in the wrong, of bossing and patronising and spoiling sport, and back-biting, the pleasures of power, of hatred.
”
”
C.S. Lewis (Mere Christianity)
“
Thinking and talking about love leads to Love, which is the enemy. Do not consort with the enemy. Even if those hot-ass actors in the movies make it look cuddly and nice and tempting, don’t fall for it. It’s the biggest bad in the world, the worst villain ever created by hormone-pumped pubescent morons. It’s the Joker, Lex Luthor, that one overweight guy who’s always messing with the Scooby-Doo gang. It’s the final boss in the massive joke of a video game you call your life.
”
”
Sara Wolf (Lovely Vicious (Lovely Vicious, #1))
“
The worst mistake a boss can make is not to say 'Well done'.
”
”
John Ashcroft
“
He was my employer. He was my boss’s husband. And worst of all, he was . . . Jesus. I can’t bring myself to say it.
”
”
Ruth Ware (The Turn of the Key)
“
The best management is sometimes less management or no management at all. William Coyne, who led 3M’s Research and Development efforts for over a decade, believed a big part of his job was to leave his people alone and protect them from other curious executives. As he put it: ‘After you plant a seed in the ground, you don’t dig it up every week to see how it is doing.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
Psychological safety is the key to creating a workplace where people can be confident enough to act without undue fear of being ridiculed, punished, or fired – and be humble enough to openly doubt what is believed and done. As Amy Edmondson’s research shows, psychological safety emerges when those in power persistently praise, reward, and promote people who have the courage to act, talk about their doubts, successes, and failures, and work doggedly to do things better the next time.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
Every company has its dirty secrets. Whether it is an unscrupulous owner, an unreasonable boss, or crazy coworkers, there is always something scandalous going on behind the scenes. Switching jobs won’t solve the problem. It’s all about perspective.
”
”
Jenn Sadai (Dirty Secrets of the World's Worst Employee)
“
as the research shows, the more time you spend around rotten apples – those lousy, lazy, grumpy, and nasty people – the more damage you will suffer. When people are emotionally depleted, they stop focusing on their jobs and instead work on improving their moods. If you find that there are a few subordinates who are so unpleasant that, day after day, they sap the energy you need to inspire others and feel good about your own job, my advice – if you can’t get rid of them – is to spend as little time around them as possible.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
Later, when they sat down and went over the figures closely, they found an interesting pattern. Adamowski had received fifty-one percent of the votes, cast by white persons. But the enormous black vote had given Daley his victory. The people who were trapped in the ghetto slums and the nightmarish public housing projects, the people who had the worst school system and were most often degraded by the Police Department, the people who received the fewest campaign promises and who were ignored as part of the campaign trail, had given him his third term. They had done it quietly, asking for nothing in return. Exactly what they got.
”
”
Mike Royko (Boss: Richard J. Daley of Chicago)
“
Negative interactions (and the bad apples who provoke them) pack such a wallop in close relationships because they are so distracting, emotionally draining, and deflating. When a group does interdependent work, rotten apples drag down and infect everyone else. Unfortunately, grumpiness, nastiness, laziness, and stupidity are remarkably contagious.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
talented employees who put their needs ahead of their colleagues and the company are dangerous.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
As Max DePree, former CEO of furniture maker Herman Miller, put it, “The first job of a leader is to define reality.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
Harry S. Truman said, “It is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
Even on my worst day I'm Kill'n it!
”
”
Boss Babe
“
Who is the convict’s worst enemy? Another convict. If zeks didn’t squabble among themselves, the bosses would have no power over them.
”
”
Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn (One Day in the Life of Ivan Denisovich)
“
the worst kind of boss—someone who had no idea what he was doing, and was therefore all the more determined to throw his weight around and assert his authority.
”
”
Blake Pierce (Once Gone (Riley Paige, #1))
“
Tell me what you do with the food you eat, and I'll tell you who you are. Some turn their food into fat and manure, some into work and good humor, and others, I'm told, into God. So there must be three sorts of men. I'm not one of the worst, boss, nor yet one of the best. I'm somewhere in between the two. What I eat I turn into work and good humor. That's not too bad, after all!
”
”
Nikos Kazantzakis (Zorba the Greek)
“
the life of average people, we find the other side of the glittering coin of gregariousness: the most painful events are also those that involve relationships. Unfair bosses and rude customers make us unhappy on the job. At home an uncaring spouse, an ungrateful child, and interfering in-laws are the prime sources of the blues. How is it possible to reconcile the fact that people cause both the best and the worst times?
”
”
Mihály Csíkszentmihályi (Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience)
“
Good bosses focus their attention, and their people’s efforts, on the small number of things that matter most. The best bosses learn when they can and should ignore the least important demands from others. But some demands can’t be avoided even though they have little, if any, impact on people or performance. In such cases, it might be wise to do a quick and crummy job so you can ‘check the box’ and quickly move on to more crucial chores.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
and supply-chain experts, and get more space. Corey also knew that little things can mean a lot, and as a boss, you can earn credibility with your people by demonstrating that you will go to war for them every now and then—even over fairly trivial things.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
When your boss listens to you carefully, reaches out to help you, and learns from you, it enhances your dignity and pride. Doing so also helps your boss gain empathy for you, to better understand how it feels to be you and what you need to succeed in your job and life.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
For the record, this is the worst seduction attempt I’ve ever had to endure. You’re incredibly bad at this.'
His lips wobbled with the effort it was taking to hold back his laugh. 'I’m admittedly a little rusty. I normally don’t have to try with women. They tend to come to me willingly, in shiny-haired hoards.
”
”
Kyra Parsi (A Deal with the Bossy Devil (Bad Billionaire Bosses #1))
“
One of the worst was cleaning up the mess in the aftermath of a clusterfuck known as the Trump Network. This brilliant idea started soon after I began to work for Trump, and essentially involved a couple of operators who sold vitamins and supposed health pills and supplements who approached the Boss about a multi-level marketing scheme.
”
”
Michael Cohen (Disloyal: The True Story of the Former Personal Attorney to President Donald J. Trump)
“
I
lived through beautiful times, Busayna. It was a different age. Cairo
was like Europe. It was clean and smart and the people were well
mannered and respectable and everyone knew his place exactly. I was
different too. I had my station in life, my money, all my friends were of
a certain niveau, I had my special places where I would spend the
evening—the Automobile Club, the Club Muhammad Ali, the Gezira
Club. What times! Every night was filled with laughter and parties and
drinking and singing. There were lots of foreigners in Cairo. Most of
the people living downtown were foreigners, until Abd el Nasser threw
them out in 1956.”
“Why did he throw them out?”
“He threw the Jews out first, then the rest of the foreigners got
scared and left. By the way, what’s your opinion of Abd el Nasser?”
“I was born after he died. I don’t know. Some people say he was a
hero and others say he was a criminal.”
“Abd el Nasser was the worst ruler in the whole history of Egypt.
He ruined the country and brought us defeat and poverty. The damage
he did to the Egyptian character will take years to repair. Abd el Nasser
taught the Egyptians to be cowards, opportunists, and hypocrites.”
“So why do people love him?”
“Who says people love him?”
“Lots of people that I know love him.”
“Anyone who loves Abd el Nasser is either an ignoramus or did
well out of him. The Free Officers were a bunch of kids from the dregs
of society, destitutes and sons of destitutes. Nahhas Basha was a good
man and he cared about the poor. He allowed them to join the Military
College and the result was that they made the coup of 1952. They ruled
Egypt and they robbed it and looted it and made millions. Of course
they have to love Abd el Nasser; he was the boss of their gang.
”
”
Alaa Al Aswany (The Yacoubian Building)
“
Psychologist Susan Fiske observes, ‘Attention is directed up the hierarchy. Secretaries know more about their bosses than vice versa; graduate students know more about their advisors than vice versa.’ Fiske explains this happens because, like our fellow primates, ‘people pay attention to those who control their outcomes. In an effort to predict and possibly influence what is going to happen to them, people gather information about those with power.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
The message: I am a Black woman, so I must be poor and in need of help.
...
The message: I am different, exotic. Anyone should have the right to my body in exchange for a compliment.
...
The message: I am responsible for the feelings of white people, and my boss will not defend me from these accusations.
...
The message: My tone will be interpreted as angry, even if I'm just feeling hurt or misunderstood. My actual feelings are irrelevant and could be used as reason to fire me.
...
The message: My body is being scrutinized in ways that others are not subjected to, and the worst is being assumed of me.
...
The message: I am here to educate my white co-workers when they are confused about a racial issue in their lives.
...
The message: My body, my person is not distinct; I am interchangeable with all other Black women.
...
The message: I need white approval and interpretation before my idea will be considered good.
”
”
Austin Channing Brown (I'm Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness)
“
Interruptions are especially destructive to people who need to concentrate – knowledge workers like hardware engineers, graphic designers, lawyers, writers, architects, accountants, and so on. Research by Gloria Mark and her colleagues shows that it takes people an average of twenty-five minutes to recover from an interruption and return to the task they had been working on – which happens because interruptions destroy their train of thought and divert attention to other tasks. A related study shows that although employees who experience interruptions compensate by working faster when they return to what they were doing, this speed comes at a cost, including feeling frustrated, stressed, and harried. Some interruptions are unavoidable and are part of the work – but as a boss, the more trivial and unnecessary intrusions you can absorb, the more work your people will do and the less their mental health will suffer.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
The worst bosses condemn their people to live in constant fear as they wait for the next wave of bad news, which always seems to hit without warning and at random intervals. The best bosses do everything possible to communicate when and how distressing events will unfold. When the timing of a stressful event can be predicted, so can its absence: Psychologist Martin Seligman called this the safety signal hypothesis. Predictability helps people know when to relax versus when dread and vigilance are warranted – which protects them from the emotional and physical exhaustion that results when people never feel safe from harm for even a moment. Seligman illustrated his hypothesis with air-raid sirens used during the German bombing of London during World War II. The sirens were so reliable that people went about their lives most of the time without fear; they didn’t need to worry about dashing to the shelters unless the sirens sounded.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
The best bosses find the sweet spot between acting like spineless wimps who always do just as they are told (no matter how absurd) versus insubordinate rabble-rousers who challenge and ignore every order and standard operating procedure. Good bosses try to cooperate with superiors and do what is best for their organizations, but they realize that defiance can be required to protect their people and themselves – and sometimes is even ultimately appreciated by superiors.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
Kevin, that’s just self-defeating crap. From the first day I joined Deloitte—that’s a pretty large consulting firm, right?—I went out of my way to take on projects no one wanted and initiated projects no one had thought of doing. I e-mailed my boss, and sometimes my boss’s boss, ideas. And I did it almost every day. What was the worst thing that could happen? I’d get fired from a job I didn’t like anyway. Alternatively, I’d make the effort to create the job—regardless of where it was—that I thought would make me happy.
”
”
Keith Ferrazzi (Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time)
“
The last time I’d been unwell, suicidally depressed, whatever you want to call it, the reactions of my friends and family had fallen into several different camps:
The Let’s Laugh It Off merchants: Claire was the leading light. They hoped that joking about my state of mind would reduce it to a manageable size. Most likely to say, ‘Feeling any mad urges to fling yourself into the sea?’
The Depression Deniers: they were the ones who took the position that since there was no such thing as depression, nothing could be wrong with me. Once upon a time I’d have belonged in that category myself. A subset of the Deniers was The Tough Love people. Most likely to say, ‘What have you got to be depressed about?’
The It’s All About Me bunch: they were the ones who wailed that I couldn’t kill myself because they’d miss me so much. More often than not, I’d end up comforting them. My sister Anna and her boyfriend, Angelo, flew three thousand miles from New York just so I could dry their tears. Most likely to say, ‘Have you any idea how many people love you?’
The Runaways: lots and lots of people just stopped ringing me. Most of them I didn’t care about, but one or two were important to me. Their absence was down to fear; they were terrified that whatever I had, it was catching. Most likely to say, ‘I feel so helpless … God, is that the time?’ Bronagh – though it hurt me too much at the time to really acknowledge it – was the number one offender.
The Woo-Woo crew: i.e. those purveying alternative cures. And actually there were hundreds of them – urging me to do reiki, yoga, homeopathy, bible study, sufi dance, cold showers, meditation, EFT, hypnotherapy, hydrotherapy, silent retreats, sweat lodges, felting, fasting, angel channelling or eating only blue food. Everyone had a story about something that had cured their auntie/boss/boyfriend/next-door neighbour. But my sister Rachel was the worst – she had me plagued. Not a day passed that she didn’t send me a link to some swizzer. Followed by a phone call ten minutes later to make sure I’d made an appointment. (And I was so desperate that I even gave plenty of them a go.) Most likely to say, ‘This man’s a miracle worker.’ Followed by: ‘That’s why he’s so expensive. Miracles don’t come cheap.’
There was often cross-pollination between the different groupings. Sometimes the Let’s Laugh It Off merchants teamed up with the Tough Love people to tell me that recovering from depression is ‘simply mind over matter’. You just decide you’re better. (The way you would if you had emphysema.)
Or an All About Me would ring a member of the Woo-Woo crew and sob and sob about how selfish I was being and the Woo-Woo crew person would agree because I had refused to cough up two grand for a sweat lodge in Wicklow.
Or one of the Runaways would tiptoe back for a sneaky look at me, then commandeer a Denier into launching a two-pronged attack, telling me how well I seemed. And actually that was the worst thing anyone could have done to me, because you can only sound like a self-pitying malingerer if you protest, ‘But I don’t feel well. I feel wretched beyond description.’
Not one person who loved me understood how I’d felt. They hadn’t a clue and I didn’t blame them, because, until it had happened to me, I hadn’t a clue either.
”
”
Marian Keyes
“
Only millionaires can be alone in America.
You know the old saying: Money lost, nothing lost. Hope lost, all is lost. The less money I have, the more I live on hope. And hope is the only reality here on earth. It's hope that makes people build cities and span bridges and send ships from one end of the earth to another. Even dying, man plants his hope on the next world.
It says in the Torah, only through a man has a woman an existence. Only through a man can a woman enter Heaven.
In America, women don't need men to boss them.
For the first time in my life I saw what a luxury it was for a poor girl to want to be alone in a room.
Even in our worst poverty we sat around the table, together, like people.
I never knew that there were people glad enough of life to celebrate the day they were born.
The routine with which I kept clean my precious privacy, my beautiful aloneness, was all sacred to me. I had achieved that marvelous thing, "a place for everything and everything in its place", which the teacher preached to me so hopelessly as a child in Hester Street.
I had it ingrained in me from my father, this exalted reverence for the teacher.
”
”
Anzia Yezierska (Bread Givers)
“
Let me ask you three questions,” he said. “And then you’ll see it my way. Question One: What’s the worst thing that you have ever done to someone? It’s okay. You don’t have to confess it out loud. Question Two: What’s the worst criminal act that has ever been committed against you? Question Three: Which of the two was the most damaging for the victim?” The worst criminal act that has ever been committed against me was burglary. How damaging was it? Hardly damaging at all. I felt theoretically violated at the idea of a stranger wandering through my house. But I got the insurance money. I was mugged one time. I was eighteen. The man who mugged me was an alcoholic. He saw me coming out of a supermarket. “Give me your alcohol,” he yelled. He punched me in the face, grabbed my groceries, and ran away. There wasn’t any alcohol in my bag. I was upset for a few weeks, but it passed. And what was the worst thing I had ever done to someone? It was a terrible thing. It was devastating for them. It wasn’t against the law. Clive’s point was that the criminal justice system is supposed to repair harm, but most prisoners—young, black—have been incarcerated for acts far less emotionally damaging than the injuries we noncriminals perpetrate upon one another all the time—bad husbands, bad wives, ruthless bosses, bullies, bankers.
”
”
Jon Ronson (So You've Been Publicly Shamed)
“
THE 11 COMMANDMENTS FOR WISE BOSSES Have strong opinions and weakly held beliefs. Do not treat others as if they are idiots. Listen attentively to your people; don’t just pretend to hear what they say. Ask a lot of good questions. Ask others for help and gratefully accept their assistance. Do not hesitate to say, ‘I don’t know’. Forgive people when they fail, remember the lessons, and teach them to everyone. Fight as if you are right, and listen as if you are wrong. Do not hold grudges after losing an argument. Instead, help the victors implement their ideas with all your might. Know your foibles and flaws, and work with people who correct and compensate for your weaknesses. Express gratitude to your people.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
Numerous lawyers, consultants, and accountants have told me that when a client has treated them badly, they avoid working for them again unless they are desperate, and when they must, they often charge higher rates to make themselves feel better and because assholes consume extra time and emotional energy. A European consultant explained his firm’s evidence-based ‘asshole pricing’ in a comment on my blog: We’ve therefore abandoned the old pricing altogether and simply have a list of difficult customers who get charged more. Before The No Asshole Rule became widely known, we were calling this Asshole Pricing. It isn’t just a tax, a surcharge on the regular price; the entirety of the price quoted is driven by Asshole considerations.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
THE 12 COMMANDMENTS OF BOSSES’ DIRTY WORK How to Implement Tough Decisions in Effective and Humane Ways Do not delay painful decisions and actions; hoping the problem will go away or that someone else will do your dirty work rarely is an effective path. Assume that you are clueless, or at least have only a dim understanding, of how people judge you and the dirty work that you do. Implement tough decisions as well as you can – even if they strike you as wrong or misguided. Or get out of the way and let someone else do it. Do everything possible to communicate to all who will be affected how distressing events will unfold, so they can predict when bad things will (and will not) happen to them. Explain early and often why the dirty work is necessary. Look for ways to give employees influence over how painful changes happen to them, even when it is impossible to change what will happen to them. Never humiliate, belittle, or bad-mouth people who are the targets of your dirty work. Ask yourself and fellow bosses to seriously consider if the dirty work is really necessary before implementing it. Just because all your competitors do it, or you have always done it in the past, does not mean it is wise right now. Do not bullshit or lie to employees, as doing so can destroy their loyalty and confidence, along with your reputation. Keep your big mouth shut. Divulging sensitive or confidential information can harm employees, your organization, and you, too. Refrain from doing mean-spirited things to exact personal revenge against employees who resist or object to your dirty work. Do not attempt dirty work if you lack the power to do it right, no matter how necessary it may seem.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
Shanks snickered with delight. “It’s the end result that matters, doll. Only the victor walks away with his head intact. Every soldier on this ship knows that as well.”
Eena glared hard at the smirking giant. “Oh, and one more thing. Kira really hates you.”
Shanks broke out in such a fit of laughter that even Kode found it contagious. Niki smacked her boyfriend on the back of the head for being insensitive.
(Kira did not say that,) Ian groaned critically.
(So what? It’s true,) Eena grumbled. (I hate him too.)
(I don’t know why you let the guy get under your skin. Who cares what he thinks? You have nothing to prove to him.)
Eena glared harder at the laughing Viidun as she thought about what bothered her most. It was the way Shanks acted, as if he considered himself superior to everyone. The thug was always bossing people around, snubbing their opinions, surpassing others at even the most trivial accomplishments. But the worst thing was that he honestly saw himself as invincible.
(The guy is full of himself, so what? Just let it roll off your back.)
If only simple advice were as simple to carry out.
”
”
Richelle E. Goodrich (Eena, The Companionship of the Dragon's Soul (The Harrowbethian Saga #6))
“
He was sitting at his desk. He had to get some relief from seeing what he did not want to see. The factory was empty. There was only the night watchman who’d come on duty with his dogs. He was down in the parking lot, patrolling the perimeter of the double-thick chain-link fence, a fence topped off, after the riots, with supplemental scrolls of razor ribbon that were to admonish the boss each and every morning he pulled in and parked his car, “Leave! Leave! Leave!” He was sitting alone in the last factory left in the worst city in the world. And it was worse even than sitting there during the riots, Springfield Avenue in flames, South Orange Avenue in flames, Bergen Street under attack, sirens going off, weapons firing, snipers from rooftops blasting the street lights, looting crowds crazed in the street, kids carrying off radios and lamps and television sets, men toting armfuls of clothing, women pushing baby carriages heavily loaded with cartons of liquor and cases of beer, people pushing pieces of new furniture right down the center of the street, stealing sofas, cribs, kitchen tables, stealing washers and dryers and ovens—stealing not in the shadows but out in the open. Their strength is tremendous, their teamwork is flawless. The shattering of glass windows is thrilling. The not paying for things is intoxicating. The American appetite for ownership is dazzling to behold. This is shoplifting. Everything free that everyone craves, a wonton free-for-all free of charge, everyone uncontrollable with thinking, Here it is! Let it come! In Newark’s burning Mardi Gras streets, a force is released that feels redemptive, something purifying is happening, something spiritual and revolutionary perceptible to all. The surreal vision of household appliances out under the stars and agleam in the glow of the flames incinerating the Central Ward promises the liberation of all mankind. Yes, here it is, let it come, yes, the magnificent opportunity, one of human history’s rare transmogrifying moments: the old ways of suffering are burning blessedly away in the flames, never again to be resurrected, instead to be superseded, within only hours, by suffering that will be so gruesome, so monstrous, so unrelenting and abundant, that its abatement will take the next five hundred years. The fire this time—and next? After the fire? Nothing. Nothing in Newark ever again.
”
”
Philip Roth (American Pastoral)
“
What It’s Like to Be a Six I’m always imagining and planning for the worst. I often don’t trust people who are in authority. People say I am loyal, understanding, funny and compassionate. Most of my friends don’t have as much anxiety as I do. I act quickly in a crisis, but when things settle down I fall apart. When my partner and I are doing really well in our relationship I find myself wondering what will happen to spoil it. Being sure I’ve made the right decision is almost impossible. I’m aware that fear has dictated many of my choices in life. I don’t like to find myself in unpredictable situations. I find it hard to stop thinking about the things I’m worried about. I’m generally not comfortable with extremes. I usually have so much to do it’s hard for me to finish tasks. I’m most comfortable when I’m around people who are pretty much like me. People tell me I can be overly pessimistic. I am slow to start, and once I do get started I find myself continuing to think about what could go wrong. I don’t trust people who give me too many compliments. It helps me to have things in some kind of order. I like to be told I am good at my job, but I get very nervous when my boss wants to add to my responsibilities. I have to know people for a long time before I can really trust them. I am skeptical of things that are new and unknown.
”
”
Ian Morgan Cron (The Road Back to You: An Enneagram Journey to Self-Discovery)
“
Later that week, I was bicycling down a pavement in the City of London when I passed a company called DLE, which stands for Davis Langdon & Everest.
Hmm, I thought, as I skidded to a halt.
I took a deep breath and then confidently walked into their ultraclean, ultrasmart reception, and asked to be put through to the CEO’s office, saying it was both urgent and confidential.
Once I had the CEO’s secretary on the line, I pleaded with her to help me get just two minutes of her boss’s time.
Eventually after three attempts, due to a combination of pity and intrigue, she agreed to ask the CEO to see me for “literally two minutes.”
Bingo.
I was escorted into a lift and then ushered into the calm of the CEO’s top-floor office. I was very nervous.
The two head guys, Paul Morrell and Alastair Collins, came in, looking suspiciously at this scruffy youngster holding a pamphlet. (They later described it as one of the worst-laid-out proposals they had ever seen.)
But they both had the grace to listen.
By some miracle, they caught the dream and my enthusiasm, and for the sake of £10,000 (which to me was the world, but to them was a marketing punt), they agreed to back my attempt to put the DLE flag on top of the world.
I promised an awesome photograph for their boardroom.
We stood up, shook hands, and we have remained great friends ever since.
I love deals like that.
”
”
Bear Grylls (Mud, Sweat and Tears)
“
Consider a world in which cause and effect are erratic. Sometimes the first precedes the second, sometimes the second the first. Or perhaps cause lies forever in the past while effect in the future, but future and past are entwined. On the terrace of the Bundesterrasse is a striking view: the river Aare below and the Bernese Alps above. A man stands there just now, absently emptying his pockets and weeping. Without reason, his friends have abandoned him. No one calls any more, no one meets him for supper or beer at the tavern, no one invites him to their home. For twenty years he has been the ideal friend to his friends, generous, interested, soft-spoken, affectionate. What could have happened? A week from this moment on the terrace, the same man begins acting the goat, insulting everyone, wearing smelly clothes, stingy with money, allowing no one to come to his apartment on Laupenstrasse. Which was cause and which effect, which future and which past? In Zürich, strict laws have recently been approved by the Council. Pistols may not be sold to the public. Banks and trading houses must be audited. All visitors, whether entering Zürich by boat on the river Limmat or by rail on the Selnau line, must be searched for contraband. The civil military is doubled. One month after the crackdown, Zürich is ripped by the worst crimes in its history. In daylight, people are murdered in the Weinplatz, paintings are stolen from the Kunsthaus, liquor is drunk in the pews of the Münsterhof. Are these criminal acts not misplaced in time? Or perhaps the new laws were action rather than reaction? A young woman sits near a fountain in the Botanischer Garten. She comes here every Sunday to smell the white double violets, the musk rose, the matted pink gillyflowers. Suddenly, her heart soars, she blushes, she paces anxiously, she becomes happy for no reason. Days later, she meets a young man and is smitten with love. Are the two events not connected? But by what bizarre connection, by what twist in time, by what reversed logic? In this acausal world, scientists are helpless. Their predictions become postdictions. Their equations become justifications, their logic, illogic. Scientists turn reckless and mutter like gamblers who cannot stop betting. Scientists are buffoons, not because they are rational but because the cosmos is irrational. Or perhaps it is not because the cosmos is irrational but because they are rational. Who can say which, in an acausal world? In this world, artists are joyous. Unpredictability is the life of their paintings, their music, their novels. They delight in events not forecasted, happenings without explanation, retrospective. Most people have learned how to live in the moment. The argument goes that if the past has uncertain effect on the present, there is no need to dwell on the past. And if the present has little effect on the future, present actions need not be weighed for their consequence. Rather, each act is an island in time, to be judged on its own. Families comfort a dying uncle not because of a likely inheritance, but because he is loved at that moment. Employees are hired not because of their résumés, but because of their good sense in interviews. Clerks trampled by their bosses fight back at each insult, with no fear for their future. It is a world of impulse. It is a world of sincerity. It is a world in which every word spoken speaks just to that moment, every glance given has only one meaning, each touch has no past or no future, each kiss is a kiss of immediacy.
”
”
Alan Lightman (Einstein's Dreams)
“
In the world of mental health, the lowest-functioning clients and the highest-functioning clients receive the worst care. The lowest-functioning clients typically struggle with serious mental illnesses that are maintained more than cured. And, because of downward drift that draws a disproportionate number of such patients into the lower income brackets, these clients often do not have access to top-notch care. The highest-functioning clients, on the other hand, usually have a lot going for them, including family or schools that connect them with private therapists when needed. These high-functioning clients are what therapists call YAVIS—young, attractive, verbal, intelligent, and successful—and these qualities bestow all sorts of social and psychological advantages. Being young means, as a colleague once put it, “that you haven’t completely screwed up your life yet.” Being verbal allows you to easily exchange a common currency with friends and bosses as you parlay being talkative into social status. Intelligence aids achievement and problem-solving, and even leadership. Successful people are generally brimming with confidence. And, as Aristotle said, “beauty is a greater recommendation than any letter of introduction.” So, YAVIS clients are well received nearly everywhere they go, and many therapists light up when one comes walking in the door. Still, there are two paths to being smart and charming when you are young: Life has been good or life has been bad. When life has been good, maybe someone goes to see a therapist for a while because some isolated thing is not currently going well. Most likely, the difficulty will be resolved quickly and the client will be on his way. When life has been bad, someone goes to see a therapist because even though things look pretty on the outside the person feels horrible on the inside, and this is a discrepancy that even many therapists cannot hold. Sometimes it is just too jarring to imagine that someone who seems so perfect has lived a life that has been so imperfect. What results is a therapy where the client’s image gets in the way of the help that he or she needs. The client has come to focus on what has not gone well, but the therapist is blinded by what has. Too often, being successful when you are young is about survival. Some people are good at hiding their troubles. They are good at “falling up.
”
”
Meg Jay (The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter—And How to Make the Most of Them Now)
“
When people (regardless of personality) wield power, their ability to lord it over others causes them to (1) become more focused on their own needs and wants; (2) become less focused on others’ needs, wants, and actions; and (3) act as if written and unwritten rules others are expected to follow don’t apply to them
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
wanted to, like now. “You’re good on the guitar. Really good. That’s all! I know you will do great!” “Ugh!” Josh dropped down on the couch and threw his head back. Dad stared, bewilderment painted on his face. “What? I don’t see what the big deal is.” Really, Dad? Why couldn’t he see this was the worst thing that could happen? All the guys his age would think he was above them. And he’d never get any friends! Mom sighed and leaned against the door jamb. Josh ran both hands through his hair. Thinking. Of course? Why hadn’t he thought of it sooner. “Who’s playing drums? The old guy, or Trevor?” Dad shrugged. “Uh, well I don’t know. But I’m pretty sure I could I have the young kid your age play Sunday, if you want me to.” Dad looked at Mom, then back at him. “Would that help?” Josh crossed his hands on top of his head. Thinking. Hard. “I am ‘the boss,’ you know. Right? I can pull some strings if you want me to.” Josh thought hard for another brief moment. Coming to a decision, he blurted, “Yah. Okay. I think that will work.” Dad’s face lit up. He looked over at Mom and smiled. “Okay. Let me see what I can do.” Yes, this would work. “Yeah, Dad. If Trevor plays, I’ll play!” Mom laughed. “Who’s the boss now?” The following Sunday morning, Josh spent thirty minutes straight in front of the mirror, tweaking strands of hair. He slammed the hairbrush down and growled, “Ugh! What is wrong with my stupid hair?” He would never be able to get it to look like Trevor’s—always styled with just the right amount of hair product
”
”
Brian Ming (Snow Sometimes Falls)
“
Bosses of the most productive work groups confronted problems directly and quickly...And quickly move on to more crucial chores.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best...And Learn from the Worst)
“
The truth is that bosses...don't matter as much as most of us believe. They typically account for less than 15 percent of the gap between good and bad organizational performance, although they often get over 50 percent of the blame and credit.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best...And Learn from the Worst)
“
[T]he best bosses master the fine art of emotional detachment. They learn to forgive people who lash out at them... and they learn to forgive themselves, too.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best...And Learn from the Worst)
“
Be repetitive and concrete. The things you say over and over have the most impact if they specify what to do and when to do it.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best...And Learn from the Worst)
“
[D]oing management work requires dozens -sometimes hundreds - of brief and fragmented tasks each day.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best...And Learn from the Worst)
“
Great bosses avoid burdening their people. They invent, borrow, and implement ways to reduce the mental and emotional load they heap on followers.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best...And Learn from the Worst)
“
The best bosses break down problems into bite-sized pieces and talk and act like each little task is something that people can complete without great difficulty.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best...And Learn from the Worst)
“
Being productive is an essential element of happiness
”
”
Jim Stovall (100 Worst Bosses)
“
You obviously don;t understand a thing about men. Or, more specifically, this man."
"I don't?"
"No, I'm not scared of periods, and you could walk out in five pairs of the worst underware known to man, and I would still want to have sex with you.
”
”
Christina Lauren (Beautiful Boss (Beautiful Bastard, #4.5))
“
Without effective goal-setting there can be no holding to account and, therefore, no accountability. If there is no accountability, feedback is meaningless. It will lack purpose and be arbitrary. At worst, it is the mere projection onto an employee of the boss’s own issues. So, deal with goal-setting and accountability first.
”
”
Dave Stitt (Deep and deliberate delegation: A new art for unleashing talent and winning back time)
“
Moody bosses are the worst.” “I miss mine,” I whisper.
”
”
M.R. Field (Do Not Respond)
“
Be around people who bring out the best in you, not the worst. Connect with people who give you happiness, not misery. Protect your self respect and peace.
”
”
Germany Kent
“
Be around people who bring out the best in you, not the worst. Connect with people who give you happiness, not misery. Protect your self-respect and peace.
”
”
Germany Kent
“
Most of her stepmothers had been more like the ones from the worst fairy tales. It figured that Barnabas had snagged someone genuinely nice this time, who might be wrecked when he cheated. Clem would never understand why he bothered getting married when his inclinations were so clearly polyamorous, but she suspected he wouldn’t enjoy sharing his partner with other people; he just wanted to get more than he gave. Maybe that was even part of the fun.
”
”
Ann Aguirre (Boss Witch (Fix-It Witches, #2))
“
You let me sleep with you, let me care about you, without telling me who you were. At best, you were messing with my heart and my head. At worst, you could have got me fired. Tortured. Killed. Whether at the hands of your over-protective father—who happens to be both my boss and the king of this town—or at the hands of Gabriel Thornber, who’s an utter psychopath, unspeakably powerful, and seemingly convinced that you’re his property.
”
”
Sophie Williamson (The Twisted Mark (Witch Trials #1))
“
Is a person more than their parents?” I’d asked. Dad answered immediately. “Of course they are, sweetie. You’re more than Mom and me.” “But what I mean is… are they more than their parents’ worst actions?” He’d laughed. “God, yes. What’s all this?
”
”
Olivia Hayle (A Ticking Time Boss (New York Billionaires, #4))
“
Print media is being sold to investor funds, one after one, and we all know how the worst of them treat newspapers. They lay off employees, rack up subscription prices, and bleed the company into bankruptcy.
”
”
Olivia Hayle (A Ticking Time Boss (New York Billionaires, #4))
“
As my dad and I entered the tenth local shop that afternoon, I felt my muscles go tight with a full body cringe. He’d just asked to speak to the manager in an Israeli accent as thick as hummus. Sounding identical to Arnold Schwarzenegger. “I don’t get it.” His voice boomed enthusiastically after he was introduced to the store’s boss. “You live in greatest country in world, and you have greatest business in sector, but you still have a crappy copier. Why? I must help you. Here, I gave much better, let me show!” His pitch would be met with a rejection. And then another rejection. Countless rejections. Rinse and repeat. Every. Damn. Day. But then, invariably, inevitably, a hard-won success. This particular day was glorious, though. Absolutely glorious. He sold two copiers in one day! So Dad said let’s go celebrate and grab some burritos! “Why you look so sad, Noah?” he said as we sat down to eat. Although I should have been riding on the adrenaline of my dad’s glorious day, something felt wrong. Despite his ultimate success, the process of getting there felt demoralizing and pointless. I shook my head. “So many noes. No, no, no, no. All day. Doesn’t it make you want to quit?” I asked. My dad replied with something that would change my life: “Love rejections! Collect them like treasure! Set rejection goals. I shoot for a hundred rejections each week, because if you work that hard to get so many noes, my little Noah’le, in them you will find a few yeses, too.” Maybe that’s why he named me NO-ah, to remind me of this daily to keep going. Love rejections?! Set rejection goals?! My dad reframed rejection as something desirable—so you feel good when you get it. He was saying aim for rejection! It was suddenly clear to me why my dad was never afraid to ask anyone anything—and why he pushed for a hundred rejections a week: the upside of asking is unlimited and the downside is minimal. And he was right! “What’s the worst that can happen?” he’d say whenever I cringed at someone turning him down. “So they said no. Who cares! And the upside of making sales is unlimited.
”
”
Noah Kagan (Million Dollar Weekend: The Surprisingly Simple Way to Launch a 7-Figure Business in 48 Hours)
“
Dealing with the death of my father was the hardest shit I ever had to do. Knowing that I was the one that killed him, fucked me up in the worst way.
”
”
Lucinda John (Married to a Boss 2)
“
The moment Jace Calder saw his sister's face, he feared the worst. His heart sank. Emily, his troubled little sister, had been doing so well since she'd gotten the job at the Sarah Hamilton Foundation in Big Timber, Montana.
"What's wrong?" he asked as he removed his Stetson, pulled up a chair at the Big Timber Java coffee shop and sat down across from her. Tossing his hat on the seat of an adjacent chair, he braced himself for bad news.
Emily blinked her big blue eyes. Even though she was closing in on twenty-five, he often caught glimpses of the girl she'd been. Her pixie cut, once a dark brown like his own hair, was dyed black. From thirteen on, she'd been piercing anything she could. At sixteen she'd begun getting tattoos and drinking. It wasn't until she'd turned seventeen that she'd run away, taken up with a thirty-year-old biker drug-dealer thief and ended up in jail for the first time.
But while Emily still had the tattoos and the piercings, she'd changed after the birth of her daughter, and after snagging this job with Bo Hamilton.
"What's wrong is Bo," his sister said. Bo had insisted her employees at the foundation call her by her first name. "Pretty cool for a boss, huh?" his sister had said at the time. He'd been surprised. That didn't sound like the woman he knew.
But who knew what was in Bo's head lately. Four months ago her mother, Sarah, who everyone believed dead the past twenty-two years, had suddenly shown up out of nowhere. According to what he'd read in the papers, Sarah had no memory of the past twenty-two years.
He'd been worried it would hurt the foundation named for her. Not to mention what a shock it must have been for Bo.
Emily leaned toward him and whispered, "Bo's… She's gone.
”
”
B.J. Daniels (Lone Rider (The Montana Hamiltons, #2))
“
Performance and humanity are the goals that great bosses aim to achieve. Yet the best bosses devote little energy to thinking about how great it would be to reach these goals, worrying if they can, or even celebrating when they do.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
THE ATTITUDE OF WISDOM Smart Versus Wise Bosses Smart Bosses: Have the confidence to act on what they know, but feel and express little doubt (in public or private) about what they believe or do Actions Make definitive statements Answer questions Talk well Give help, but don’t ask for help and refuse it when offered Defend and stick to current course of action – have strong opinions that are strongly held Wise Bosses: Have the confidence to act on what they know and the humility to doubt their knowledge Actions Make statements (often ‘backstage’) that reveal uncertainty and confusion Ask questions Listen well Give help, ask for help, and accept it when offered Challenge and often revise courses of action – have strong opinions that are weakly held
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
Good bosses also know the wrong times to fight. Tearing apart a newborn idea can kill it before it develops enough to be judged. That is why skilled group brainstorming leaders forbid premature criticism. Argument and criticism are equally destructive once a team has decided which ideas to discard and which to keep and use. After a decision is made, whining on and on that your brilliant idea was superior to the idiotic final choice is risky because it saps everyone’s energy for developing and implementing the winning ideas.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
Another misguided trick bosses use to demonstrate their brilliance – at least to themselves – is to develop incomprehensible strategies. Unfortunately, if your people can’t understand your strategy, they can’t figure out what to do. And, even if they can comprehend the twists and turns, the complexity can scatter their attention in so many directions that they won’t do any single thing well.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
Smart talkers have considerable incentive for saying things that are incomprehensible. Unfortunately, people who spew out incomprehensible ‘jargon monoxide’* are rated as smarter than those who use simple words – especially when they are renowned for their expertise. This attribution even occurs when people use unintelligible language to mask meaningless and useless ideas. So beware that when people seem so smart that you can’t understand a word they say, these pretenders may have learned that blasting out jargon monoxide is the best way to get ahead and mask their incompetence at the same time.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
Despite the horseshit spewed out by too many management gurus, there are no magic bullets, instant cures, or easy shortcuts to becoming a great boss. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar. The best bosses succeed because they keep chipping away at a huge pile of dull, interesting, fun, rewarding, trivial, frustrating, and often ridiculous chores. That’s why this book is called Good Boss, Bad Boss. Devoting relentless attention to doing one good thing after another – however small – is the only path I know to becoming and remaining a great boss.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
When people (regardless of personality) wield power, their ability to lord it over others causes them to (1) become more focused on their own needs and wants; (2) become less focused on others’ needs, wants, and actions; and (3) act as if written and unwritten rules others are expected to follow don’t apply to them.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
Refusal to accept blame, pointing fingers at others, and wimpy language can help bosses keep their jobs for a while, but it usually backfires in the long run. No matter what is said, bosses are seen as responsible for what their people do.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
A throat cleared. “Earth to Arik. Come in, boss.”
With brows drawn, Arik glared at his beta. “What?”
“I was asking what had your boxers in a knot.”
“You know I go commando.”
“Usually, but something obviously has your panties in a twist. Spill.”
Oh, he spilled all right. Arik yanked off the hat and flung it against the wall and then swiveled his chair to get it over with.
Indrawn breath. A snicker. A full-on guffaw.
Arik swirled again and tossed deadly visual daggers at his second. “I fail to see the humor in my butchered mane.”
“Dude. Have you seen it? It is bad. What did you do to piss Dominic off? Seduce one of his daughters?”
“Actually one of his granddaughters did this to me!”
He couldn’t help the incredulous note. The effrontery of the act still got to him.
A thump and a shake of the wall as Hayder hit it, his shoulders shaking with laughter. “A girl did that to you?” His beta convulsed with mirth, not at all daunted by Arik’s glower and tapping fingers.
“This is not amusing.”
“Oh, come on, dude. Of all the people to have a hair mishap, you are the worst.”
“I look like an idiot.”
“Only because you didn’t let her finish hacking the rest off.”
His fingers froze as he took his gaze off the screen for a moment to address the travesty. “Cut off my mane?” Was his beta delusional?
“Well, yeah. You know, to even it out so it doesn’t show.”
A growl rumbled forth, more beast than man, his lion not at all on board with any more trimming.
“Okay, if you’re not keen on that, then what about a hair weave? Maybe we could get you a platinum one, or pink for contrast since you’re being such a prissy princess about it.”
That did it.
A lion could take only so much.
Arik dove over his desk and tackled his beta. Over they went with a thump and a tangle of limbs.
As he was slamming Hayder’s head off the floor, snarling, “Take it back!” to his beta’s chortled, “We’ll get your nails done while they’re weaving,” Leo strode in.
A giant of a man, he didn’t even have to strain as he grabbed them each by a shoulder and yanked them apart.
But he didn’t stop there.
He slammed their heads together before shoving them down.
Arik and Hayder sat on the carpeted floor, nursing robin’s eggs, united in their glare for the pride’s omega, also known as the peacemaker.
Of course, Leo’s version of peace wasn’t always gentle, which was why he was perfect for the pride.
The behemoth with the mellow outlook on life took a seat in a chair, which groaned ominously.
“You do know that the staff two floors down can hear the pair of you acting like ill-behaved cubs.”
“He started it!” Arik stabbed a finger at his beta.
He had no problem assigning blame. Delegation was something an alpha did well.
Hayder didn’t even deny his guilt. “I did. But can you blame me? He was pissing and moaning about this precious mane. All I did was offer a solution, and he took offense.”
“I assume we’re talking about the missing chunk of hair on our esteemed leader’s head?” Leo shook his neatly trimmed dark crown. “I keep telling you that vanity is your weakness.”
“And chocolate chip ice cream is yours. We all have our vices,” Arik grumbled as he heaved himself off the floor and into his leather-padded seat— with built-in heating pad and massager because a man in his position did enjoy his luxuries.
“My vice is beautiful women,” Hayder announced with a grin, adopting a lounging pose on the floor.
Felines were king when it came to acting as if embarrassing positions weren’t accidental at all.
“Don’t talk to me about women right now. I’m still angry at the one who did this.”
“I think I’m missing a key point,” Leo stated.
It didn’t take long to bring Leo up to speed. To his credit, the pride omega didn’t laugh— long.
”
”
Eve Langlais (When an Alpha Purrs (A Lion's Pride, #1))
“
Confirmation bias can cause bosses to make excessively glowing judgments about people they have invested a lot of time and money in or who they simply find to be likable or admirable. Even if your judgment is generally sound, confirmation bias can blind you to mediocre or even downright rotten performance displayed by your favorites.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
“
Energizers’ aren’t necessarily charismatic and bubbly; on the surface, many are understated and rather shy. But all create energy via optimism about the possibilities ahead, fully engaging the person right in front of them right now, valuing others’ ideas, and helping people feel as if they are making progress.
”
”
Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
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Who Are Your Stars? That is the first question I ask when a boss has performance problems, is plagued by caustic conflict, or is losing good people at an alarming rate. I want to know if the anointed stars enhance or undermine others’ performance and humanity. Unfortunately, too many bosses have such blind faith in solo superstars and unbridled competition that they hire egomaniacs and install pay and promotion systems that reward selfish creeps who don’t give a damn about their colleagues. Or, even worse, they shower kudos and cash on credit hogs and backstabbers who get ahead by knocking others down. As
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Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
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In short, if you are a boss, ask yourself: ‘Who have I anointed as stars?’ Think of your workplace more broadly and ask, ‘Do we anoint people who bolster or bring down others’ performance and humanity?
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Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
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The best bosses let the workers do their work. They protect their people from red tape, meddlesome executives, nosy visitors, unnecessary meetings, and a host of other insults, intrusions and time wasters. The notion that management ‘buffers’ the core work of the organization from uncertainty and external perturbations is an old theme in organization theory. A good boss takes pride in serving as a human shield, absorbing and deflecting heat from superiors and customers, doing all manner of boring and silly tasks, and battling back against every idiot and slight that makes life unfair or harder than necessary on his or her charges.
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Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
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Research on control has been conducted under many different banners – self-efficacy, autonomy, helplessness, empowerment, and, of course, small wins. The jargon varies, but study after study shows that when people experience some control over their lives, they enjoy better physical and mental health. Even when people can’t control their ultimate fates, their well-being improves when they can influence some aspects of their lives. For bosses, this means your dirty work will do less harm if you can give people some control over when and how bad things happen to them.
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Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
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All bosses can be more effective when they work with, rather than against, the peer culture. Bosses who are known as fair and consistent will get more support from the peer culture when they do their dirty work. Research on punishment shows that coworkers often believe that offenders are let off too easily by bosses – especially when they have violated the rules consistently, shown little remorse, and a fair process was used to convict and punish the wrongdoer. In the best workplaces, bosses and their charges agree on what is right and wrong, and peers – not the boss – dish out punishment. Research on employee theft shows that ridicule, ostracism, and nasty gossip by peers is 250 percent more effective for deterring stealing than formal punishment by supervisors.
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Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
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My Everest story would be incomplete if I didn’t give final credit to the Sherpas who had risked their lives alongside us every day.
Pasang and Ang-Sering still climb together as best friends, under the direction of their Sirdar boss--Kami. The Khumba Icefall specialist, Nima, still carries out his brave task in the jumbled ice maze at the foot of the mountain: repairing and fixing the route through.
Babu Chiri, who so bravely helped Mick when he ran out of oxygen under the South Summit, was tragically killed in a crevasse in the Western Cwm several years later. He was a Sherpa of many years’ Everest experience, and was truly one of the mountain’s greats. It was a huge loss to the mountaineering fraternity.
But if you play the odds long enough you will eventually lose. That is the harsh reality of high-altitude mountaineering.
You can’t keep on top of the world forever.
Geoffrey returned to the army, and Neil to his business. His toes never regained their feeling, but he avoided having them amputated. But as they say, Everest always charges some sort of a price, and in his own words--he got lucky.
As for Mick, he describes his time on Everest well: “In the three months I was away, I was both happier than ever before, and more scared than I ever hope to be again.”
Ha. That’s also high-altitude mountaineering for you.
Thengba, my friend, with whom I spent so much time alone at camp two, was finally given a hearing aid by Henry. Now, for the first time, he can hear properly.
Despite our different worlds, we shared a common bond with these wonderful Sherpa men--a friendship that was forged by an extraordinary mountain.
Once, when the climber Julius Kugy was asked what sort of person a mountaineer should be, he replied: “Truthful, distinguished, and modest.”
All these Sherpas epitomize this. I made the top with them, and because of their help, I owe them more than I can say.
The great Everest writer Walt Unsworth, in his book Everest: The Mountaineering History, gives a vivid description of the characters of the men and women who pit their all on the mountain.
I think it is bang on the money:
But there are men for whom the unattainable has a special attraction.
Usually they are not experts: their ambitions and fantasies are strong enough to brush aside the doubts which more cautious men might have.
Determination and faith are their strongest weapons.
At best such men are regarded as eccentric; at worst, mad…
Three things they all had in common: faith in themselves, great determination, and endurance.
If I had to sum up what happened on that journey for me, from the hospital bed to the summit of the world, I tend to think of it as a stumbling journey.
Of losing my confidence and my strength--then refinding it. Of seeing my hope and my faith slip away--and then having them rekindled.
Ultimately, if I had to pass on one message to my children it would be this: Fortune favors the brave.
Most of the time.
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Bear Grylls (Mud, Sweat and Tears)
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In the worst companies, poor performers are first ignored and then transferred. In good companies, bosses eventually deal with problems. In the best companies, everyone holds everyone else accountable—regardless of level or position. The path to high productivity passes not through a static system, but through face-to-face conversations.
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Kerry Patterson (Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High)
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If clients treat you like dirt, fire them if possible. If you can’t, charge asshole taxes, give employees who work with them combat pay, and limit everyone’s exposure to these creeps.
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Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
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Recall the CEO who used this strategy when his people started freaking out about a sales campaign that was crucial to the company’s survival. He calmed and focused his team by having them break down the campaign into specific tasks, divide the list into easy and hard tasks, and then make quick progress on the easy ones. This strategy transformed a situation where people felt overwhelmed and helpless into one where, after accomplishing a string of small wins, they felt a strong link between their actions and meaningful changes around them – which is how behavioral scientists define the perception of control.
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Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
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about to harness that power and make our wildest dreams become our reality. There will be a learning curve and I know that it may be scary for you, but I promise to be there every day for you and continue to train you with love, compassion, and acceptance. I’m going to be the best damn boss in the world. Step 4: Accept Your Mind’s Gift It took years of programing for your mind to believe limiting beliefs. As a kid, you probably picked up the majority of them from your parents, friends, or at school. You were given a lot of misinformation about your true nature that caused you to take on limiting beliefs that have been passed down from generation to generation. These beliefs weren’t passed down out of malice. They were passed down as a form of protection based on fear and lack. For an example, while growing up you probably heard over and over again: “Money doesn’t grow on trees.” If currently you’re experiencing anything other than abundance, you probably heard that phrase or something similar over and over again until you adopted it as your own limiting belief. That belief was meant to protect you from experiencing economic hardship. Your parents told you this in hopes that you would be frugal and not waste money so that you wouldn’t experience the hardship that they did. However, that limiting belief that was passed down to protect you is causing you to feel bad and making it damn near impossible for you to attract financial security into your life. What if you were taught that money flows easily and freely? You would most likely have that belief and never experience financial insecurity in your life. Look at rich families that come from “old money.” They stay rich forever, not only because they pass down their money, but because they see that money always comes and that it’s easy to make money if you try. That belief shapes their thoughts and feelings around money and therefore, it manifests their wealthy reality. This last step is about turning your lemons into a refreshing cup of lemonade. Any time you catch your mind feeding you a negative thought, let it raise a red flag and be an opportunity to have a conversation with your mind. Believe me. Your mind will continue to feed you worst-case scenario thoughts and visions. You can go from financially insecure to secure in an instant, but it takes time to dismantle years of fear-based programming and reprogram your beliefs. You will have to sit down with your mind and train it every day. You don’t have to dedicate chunks of time every day and practice as if you were trying to become an Olympic athlete. It’s a lot easier and effortless on your part. Your mind will tell you exactly when it needs some more training by having a limiting belief that causes a bad feeling. Those worst-case scenario thoughts and visions aren’t your mind trying to sabotage you. It’s your mind taking a seat in your classroom and asking for more training.
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Lloyd Burnett (The Voice Inside Your Head: How to Use Your Mind to Instantly Create Financial Security & Attract Money)
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As this VP discovered, being a boss is much like being a high-status primate in any group: the creatures beneath you in the pecking order watch every move you make – and so they know a lot more about you than you know about them.
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Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
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If you are determined to be an effective shield, start by working on yourself. Great bosses avoid burdening their people. They invent, borrow, and implement ways to reduce the mental and emotional load they heap on followers. In particular, meetings are notorious time and energy suckers. Yes, some are necessary, but too many bosses run them in ways that disrespect people’s time and dignity – especially self-absorbed bosses bent on self-glorification. If you want to grab power and don’t care much about your people, make sure you arrive a little late to most meetings. Plus, every now and then, show up very late, or – better yet – send word after everyone has gathered that, alas, you must cancel the meeting because something more pressing has come up. After all, if you are a very important person, the little people need to accept their inferior social standing. Sound familiar? Using arrival times to display and grab power is an ancient trick. This move was used by elders, or ‘Big Men’, in primitive tribes to gain and reinforce status. An ethnography of the Merina tribe in Madagascar found that jostling for status among elders meant that gatherings routinely started three or four hours late. Elders used young boys to spy on each other and played a waiting game that dragged on for hours. Each elder worked to maximize the impression that the moment he arrived, the meeting started. If he arrived early and the meeting didn’t start right away, it signaled that he wasn’t the alpha male. If he arrived late and the meeting had started without him, it also signaled that he wasn’t the most prestigious elder. I’ve seen similar power plays in academia. I was once on a committee led by a prestigious faculty member who always arrived at least ten minutes late, often twenty minutes. He also cancelled two meetings after the rest of the five-person committee had gathered. I tracked the time I wasted waiting for this jerk, which totaled over a half day during a six-month stretch.
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Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
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Wilson mapped conflicts between what he called amateurs (today we might call them activists) and political professionals (today’s “political class”) over control of local political organizations. The two groups despised each other, despite being nominally on the same side (all Democrats). “A keen antipathy inevitably develops between the new and the conventional politicians. The former accuse the latter of being at best ‘hacks’ and ‘organization men’ and at worst ‘bosses’ and ‘machine leaders.’ The latter retort by describing the former as ‘dilettantes,’ ‘crackpots,’ ‘outsiders,’ and ‘hypocritical do-gooders.
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Jonathan Rauch (Political Realism: How Hacks, Machines, Big Money, and Back-Room Deals Can Strengthen American Democracy)
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better to shoot the messenger than to learn about—and fix—the problems. In contrast to such constructive defiance, I know bosses who employ the opposite strategy to undermine and drive out incompetent superiors. One called it “malicious compliance,” following idiotic orders from
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Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)
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a host of cost-cutting moves, and one of the changes was that although employees
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Robert I. Sutton (Good Boss, Bad Boss: How to Be the Best... and Learn from the Worst)