World's Dumbest Quotes

If I stand here, I can see the Little Red Haired girl when she comes out of her house... Of course, if she sees me peeking around this tree, she'll think I'm the dumbest person in the world... But if I don't peek around the tree, I'll never see her... Which means I probably AM the dumbest person in the world... which explains why I'm standing in a batch of poison oak.

Wylan looked as if he was ready to wet himself. Helvar appeared grim as always. Jesper just grinned and whispered, "Well, we've managed to get ourselves locked into the most secure prison in the world. We're either geniuses or the dumbest sons of bitches to ever breathe air.

Well, we’ve managed to get ourselves locked into the most secure prison in the world. We’re either geniuses or the dumbest sons of bitches to ever breathe air.

faith gaped at him"how the hell did you do this?" He looked at her as if she'd asked the dumbest question in history. "I'm brilliant.

The directness of her question throws me. "I don't know. Sometimes I think there are only so many opportunities...to get together with someone. And we've both screwed up so many times"- my voice grows quiet - "that we've missed our chance." "Anna." Mer pauses. "That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard." "But—" "But what? You love him, and he loves you, and you live in the most romantic city in the world.

I’m not the smartest guy in the world, but I’m certainly not the dumbest. I mean, I’ve read books like "The Unbearable Lightness of Being" and "Love in the Time of Cholera", and I think I’ve understood them. They’re about girls, right? Just kidding. But I have to say my all-time favorite book is Johnny Cash’s autobiography "Cash" by Johnny Cash.

If they were going to have the kind of discussion that ended with her feeling like the world's dumbest bitch, she'd like to at least have some pants on.

We come into this world alone, and we die alone. If we get sick, we fight it alone. Our parents are not there to go through chemo treatments for us. They’re not the ones losing their hair, puking buckets, or getting their asses kicked at school. If we’re involved in an accident, they’re not the ones losing blood, fighting for their lives on the operating table, losing a limb. “I’m here for you” is the dumbest sentence I’d ever heard anyone say.

Well, we've managed to get ourselves locked into the most secure prison in the world. We're either geniuses or the dumbest sons of bitches to ever breathe air.

Blue jeans are hot in the summer and cold in the winter. They are not the dumbest clothing in the world, but the fashionable folks who insist on wearing them are not exactly the brightest brill in the ocean.

This was possibly the first time anyone had used the phrase "too cerebral" when describing Pinky's advertising. Because someone somewhere in the Pinky's marketing scheme had made the brilliant connection that sub sandwiches are vaguely phallic. And from that, all the penis-related Pinky sub campaigns were born. Like the commercial where you see the guy standing from the back, and then a woman in front of him, and she says, "Nine inches????" in this insane lusty voice, and then they pan to the side and show he's holding a Pinky sub right at groin height? It's the worst. It is literally the worst. I'm a cog in the world's dumbest corporate sandwich machine.

Against the far wall was a wire cage holding a pack of unblinking bunnies. World’s dumbest pet, I thought. Who would want an animal that sat, quivered, and shat everywhere? They say you can litter-box train them, but they lie.

We used to hang out all the time. St. Clair and me.But after you arrived,I hardly saw him. He'd sit next to you in class,at lunch,at the movies. Everywhere. And even though I was suspicious,I knew the first time I heard you call him Etienne-I knew you loved him.And I knew by his response-the way his eyes lit up every time you said it-I knew he loved you,too. And I ignored it,because I didn't want to believe it." The struggle rises inside me again. "I don't know if he loves me.I don't know if he does,or if he ever did.It's all so messed up." "It's obvious he wants more than friendship." Mer takes my shaking mug. "Haven't you seen him? He suffers every time he looks at you.I've never seen anyone so miserable in my life." "That's not true." I'm remembering he said the situation with his father is really terrible right now. "He has other things on his mind,more important things." "Why aren't the two of you together?" The directness of her question throws me. "I don't know.Sometimes I think there are only so many opportunies...to get together with someone.And we've both screwed up so many times"-my voice grows quiet-"that we've missed our chance." "Anna." Mer pauses. "That is the dumbest thing I've ever heard." "But-" "But what? You love him,and he loves you, and you live in the most romantic city in the world." I shake my head. "It's not that simple." "Then let me put it another way.A gorgeous boy is in love with you, and you're not even gonna try to make it work?

There's a characteristically brilliant Peanuts strip which opens with Linus sitting on the living-room floor, anxiously clutching his mouth. Lucy enters and asks what's wrong. "I'm aware of my tongue," he explains. "It's an awful feeling! Every now and then I become aware that I have a tongue inside my mouth, and then it starts to feel lumped up... I cant's help it... I can't put it out of my mind... I keep thinking about where my tongue would be if I weren't thinking about it, and then I can feel it sort of pressing against my teeth." Loudly declaring this the dumbest thing she's ever heard, Lucy scowls away. But a few steps down the corridor, she stops dead in her tracks. She clutches her own mouth. Suddenly she's aware of her tongue too. She runs back and chases him round the room, shouting, "You blockhead!" with her gigantic booming gob. Occasionally, late at night, while I'm trying to sleep and failing, I experience someting similar - except instead of being aware of my tongue, I'm aware of my entire body, the entire world, and the whole of reality itself. It's like waking from a dream, or a light going on, or a giant "YOU ARE HERE" sign appearing in the sky. The mere fact that I'm actually real and actually breathing suddenly hits me in the head with a thwack. It leaves me giddy. It causes a brief surge of clammy, bubbling anxiety, like the opening stages of a panic attack. The moment soon passes, but while it lasts it's strangely terrifying.

The cosmos stands amazed at just how dumb Planet Dumb is. With an uncanny talent for error, humanity has at every crossroads taken the wrong path. Humanity is the species guaranteed to choose wrongly. What else would you expect in a Dunning-Kruger world? Ignorance reigns supreme. Everyone is part of the Dumbageddon Conspiracy.

Munger has also learned to control certain toxic emotions that would corrode his enjoyment of life. “Crazy anger. Crazy resentment. Avoid all that stuff,” he tells me. “I don’t let it run. I don’t let it start.” The same goes for envy, which he considers the dumbest of the seven deadly sins because it’s not even fun. He also disdains the tendency to view oneself as a victim, and he has no patience for whining. When I ask if he has a mental process that helps him to defuse self-defeating emotions, he replies, “I know that anger is stupid. I know that resentment is stupid. I know self-pity is stupid. So I don’t do them.… I’m trying not to be stupid every day, all day.

Are you the world’s dumbest smarty or the world’s smartest dummy?

Why do stand-up comedians bring chairs to the stage?

Are you suppose to move away if there is a car coming at you that say’s “Dodge” on the front?

Without any thought, I went ahead and did the dumbest thing in the world. I opened my big fucking mouth and said the one thing sure to ruin everything.

Jesper just grinned and whispered, “Well, we’ve managed to get ourselves locked into the most secure prison in the world. We’re either geniuses or the dumbest sons of bitches to ever breathe air.

He gently caressed her bottom lips with his thumb. "It just occurred to me that I've never told you how beautiful you are until now, which has to make me possibly the slowest, or dumbest, man in the world.

Who can doubt that this is Planet Dumb? Who can deny that this is the dumbest planet in the cosmos? It’s the planet that willfully chose to go Full Retard. Aren’t you sick of being a dumbo, one of the dim legions of dunces? Don’t you want to be on the smart side, the side of intelligent people? This could be a rational, logical world, if we had the will to make it so. Sadly, we seem to lack the desire for sanity and rationality. Humans are a Mythos species. They love their crazy stories. They reject Logos. Humanity will not live happily ever after. Its stupidity will kill it. Ignorance is fatal. Old Humanity chose to go Full Retard. New humanity – HyperHumanity – will go Full Smart.

the kind of woman you want to be. Be the kind of woman who is proud to be herself. Be the kind of woman who has so much love inside her that she won’t be tempted to change herself in order to get love from others. Be the kind of woman who focuses more on being interested than on other people thinking she’s interesting. Be the kind of woman who laughs loudly and often. Be the kind of woman who is generous—no matter how much money is in your bank account, you have a wealth of resources to offer others. Be the kind of woman who spends a lifetime learning, because knowledge is power and those who think they know it all are often the dumbest among us. Be the kind of woman both your eleven-year-old self and your ninety-year-old self would be proud of. Be the kind of woman who shows up for her life. Be the kind of woman who understands that she was made for more. Be the kind of woman who believes that she is capable of doing amazing things in this world. Be the kind of woman whose own dreams make her nervous—and then go ahead and do them anyway. Be the kind of woman who never asks permission to be herself. BEHAVIOR 2: CHOOSE ONE DREAM AND GO ALL IN Here’s the thing I believe about a goal that often annoys people: you can only focus on one at a time.

I was a country kid who went to a public school, and she was more of a middle-class girl who attended a private school. I was into hunting and fishing, and she liked drama and singing in the choir at school and church. Our lives up until that point were totally different. But Missy and I had a very deep spiritual connection, and I thought our mutual love for the Lord might be our biggest strength in sustaining our relationship. Even though Missy was so different from me, I found her world to be very interesting. Looking back, perhaps another reason I decided to give our relationship a chance was because of my aunt Jan’s bizarre premonition about Missy years earlier. My dad’s sister Jan had helped bring him to the Lord, and she taught the fourth grade at OCS. One of her students was Missy, and they went to church together at White’s Ferry Road Church. When I was a kid we attended a small church in the country, but occasionally we visited White’s Ferry with my aunt Jan and her husband. One Sunday, Missy walked by us as we were waiting in the pew. “Let me tell you something,” Jan told me as she pointed at me and then Missy. “That’s the girl you’re going to marry.” Missy was nine years old. To say that was one of the dumbest things I’d ever heard would be an understatement. I love my aunt Jan, but she has a lot in common with her brother Si. They talk a lot, are very animated, and even seem crazy at times. However, they love the Lord and have great hearts. I actually never thought about it again until she reminded me of that day once Missy and I started getting serious. Freaky? A bit. Bizarre? Definitely! Was she right? Absolutely, good call! Missy still isn’t sure what my aunt Jan saw in her. Missy: What did Jan see in me at nine years old? Well, you’ll have to ask her about that. She was the only teacher in my academic history from whom I ever received a smack. She announced a rule to the class one day that no one could touch anyone else’s possessions at any time (due to a recent rash of kids messing with other people’s stuff). The next day, I moved some papers around on one of my classmates’ desks before school, and he tattled on me. Because of her newly pronounced rule, she took me to the girls’ bathroom and gave me a whack on the rear. At the time, I certainly would have never thought she had picked me out to marry her nephew!

For some reason, Jase thought it would be really funny to lock me out of the house, and I was furious. I kept banging on the door, but Jase had turned the music up loud so he wouldn’t hear me. He kicked his feet up on a table and kept yelling, “I can’t hear you. I can’t hear you.” I went to Granny’s house and told Kay what Jase had done. Kay went marching back to our house and was hotter than a catfish fry in July. She started banging on the door, but Jase thought it was still me and just kept blaring the music and enjoying having the house to himself. Kay got so angry that she banged on the glass pane and her fist went right through the window, cutting up her hand pretty badly. This caught Jase’s attention. When he saw her hand, he knew he was in big trouble. “When your dad gets home, he’s going to whip y’all’s butts,” Kay told us. I hadn’t even done anything, but Phil didn’t usually conduct and investigation to find out who was at fault. He just whipped whoever was in the vicinity of the crime. Jase and I ran back to our room and padded up with anything we could find-socks, underwear, and pillowcases. We sat on our bed with our butts padded, waiting for Phil to get home, certain we were in big trouble. Phil came into our house and saw the bandage on Kay’s hand. “What in the world did you do?” Phil asked her. “Look at what these boys did,” Kay told him. “Jase locked Willie out of the house, and I was banging on the door for him to let us in. My hand went right through the window.” “Kay, that’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. Why would you bang on a glass window?” Phil said. Phil walked right by her and took a shower. Jase and I were standing there with padded behind, our mouths wide open with relief. Phil was always in charge of disciplining us, but sometimes Kay tried to take matters into her own hands. Unfortunately for Kay, she was really an uncoordinated disciplinarian. One day when Phil was out fishing, Kay announced that she was going to whip us. She grabbed a belt that had a buckle on one end and told us to line up for a whipping. Now, Kay never liked whipping us and always closed her eyes when she swung because she didn’t want to watch. This time, she reared back and swung and missed, and the buckle flew back and hit her right in the forehead. Jase and I just looked at her, started laughing, and took off running into the backyard. I really don’t know how she survived raising us four boys. Korie: Poor Kay! All that testosterone in one house! Maybe that’s why she is so great to us daughters-in-law. She is thankful we took them off her hands. She has definitely enjoyed all of her granddaughters. She has set up a cute little library and a place for tea parties. They have coloring contests and dress-up parties. She didn’t get to do any of that with her four boys so our daughters have gotten the full “girly” grandma treatment.

I asked Dwayne Beemer if he like a lyric I was tooling around with last week—"Your love is like sandpaper in my veins"—and he looked at me like I was the dumbest person in the world. And now I have his judgy face emblazoned in my mind when we play "Sandpaper Blood.

What was it about being in love that makes a woman so weak for the man who had her heart? Love could make even the smartest woman make the dumbest decisions, or give the most unworthy man the most chances.

63 Will the Next Dumb Criminal Sign In, Please? (England) A Taunton, Somerset, shop allowed a certain citizens’ group to leave a petition on the shop’s front counter, primarily because the shop owner agreed with the group’s agenda. Some customers signed, others did not. Then one afternoon a pair of young men poking around inside the shop asked about the petition. A shop assistant explained that the petition sought better policing for Taunton. The two civic-minded citizens signed immediately. Then they held up the clerk at knifepoint. When the police took the clerk’s statement, they dismissed the petition names as phonies. One detective, however, stubbornly believed in the premise of never overestimating the power of the criminal mind. On a whim, he decided to stop by the address that the two young men had left on the petition. Sure enough, they were home, and so was the stolen money. These young dumb criminals got what they asked for—better policing!

Success is a tricky concept. It is very subjective. Success is nothing more than being exceptional at what you love. Others look at success as having the big houses and fancy cars. Are those people living high in the fat city life truly the successful ones? It’s all about perception as well. The greatest bartender or mechanic in the world isn’t going to be held in the same light as the worst stockbroker. The most spectacular sanitation worker doesn’t hold a candle to the dumbest fucking teacher out there. Obviously, there are jobs that hold a higher value in our society, it’s just odd that some don’t get paid like it. There will always be a hierarchy of professions and their usefulness on a functioning society. I just don’t believe one can base success solely on the amount of numbers in front of the decimal point.

Do people only eat chicken in Kentucky?

Are people starving in Hungary?

Are ties made in Thailand?

When are you going to accept that you’re stuck with me? You waged the dumbest, most persistent war of attrition against my heart. You fucking won. This is your prize now, Chase: my undivided attention. You are my whole fucking world. You are my heart. My fucking obsession. There’s no walking away from it. No return to fucking sender. You made me love you. Now deal with the fucking consequences.

Is a bulldozer a sleeping mammal?

How do you know this is Paige?” I ask, pretty sure this is another fantasy. It’s one thing to have Dad’s tracking device. It’s another to actually be tracking Paige, considering she needs to have the transmitter on her. “The devil tells me.” She lowers her head, looking troubled. “If I promise him certain things,” she mumbles. “Okay.” I rub my forehead, trying to be patient. There’s a certain art to getting information out of my mom. You need one foot in reality and one foot in her world to get a better picture of what she’s talking about. “How does the devil know where Paige is?” She looks up at me as if I’d asked the dumbest question in the world. “The transmitter, of course.

Can a self employed person file sexual harassment charges against themself?

The purpose of an organization is to enable ordinary human beings to do extraordinary things. Peter Drucker Shareholder value is the dumbest idea in the world…[it is] a result, not a strategy…Your main constituencies are your employees, your customers, and your products.1 Jack Welch

It’s the dumbest thing in the world, but Steve can’t help but notice what Loki, or his apparition, is wearing. It’s a pink t-shirt with an upside down rainbow triangle on it. Following the direction of Steve’s gaze, Loki says, “Do you like my Bifrost shirt?

We’d just about ruined experiencing the world with cell phones and everything that went with them. Staring at a tiny screen with the whole wide world around you was just about the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen folks do.

Sometimes only the dumbest thing in the world can give you any peace.

A little boy walks into a barbershop. The barber whispers to his customer, “This is the world’s dumbest kid. Watch and I’ll prove it to you.” The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then asks the little boy, “Hey kid, which do you want?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “The kid never learns!” Later the customer sees the little boy eating an ice cream and says, “Hey, little boy, why do you always take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?” The boy licked his cone and answered, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over.

GETTING STUPID CAN BE a mighty smart thing to do if you want to build an innovative company. Thinking up the dumbest, most ridiculous, and most impractical things you can do is a powerful way to explore your assumptions about the world. It helps elicit what you know and believe but may have a hard time articulating, perhaps because it is so obvious you don’t even notice it. It also helps you imagine what might happen if your dearest beliefs turn out to be dead wrong. And thinking up the most ridiculous things you can do—and then thinking about why you might do them—creates a broader palette of options. This weird idea works because it sparks two essential forces for constant innovation: variance and vu ja de.

What’s the strongest insect in the world? A snail. It carries its house on its back!

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Be Careful What You Invent (England) George Musgrave was ticketed not long ago by a traffic bobby in London for parking on a yellow line. It was a minor offense and a minor fine, but there was something unusual about the crime. You see, George Musgrave was responsible for the very existence of the yellow line. In 1947, George had suggested that the Motor Vehicle Department use yellow lines for no-parking zones and the like. It was all part of a road-safety competition. George’s suggestion netted him a three-pound prize. George’s parking ticket cost him a thirty-pound fine.

Marital Bliss Donald and Melania Trump are sitting in the White House one night watching Fox News. Suddenly, Melania reaches over and smacks her husband, knocking him off his chair. Donald crawls back up and whines, "What was that for?" She says, "For having a little pecker." He sits there quietly a moment, then leans over smacks her, knocking her off of her chair. She crawls back and complains, "What was that for?" He replies, "For knowing there is more than one size.

It’s a Gay Life A young gay man calls home and tells his mother that he has decided to go back into the closet because he has met a wonderful girl and they are going to be married. He tells his mother, a strict Muslim, that he is sure she will be happier because he knows that his gay lifestyle has been very disturbing to her. She responds that she is indeed delighted and asks tentatively, “I suppose it would be too much to hope that she comes from a good family?” He tells her she comes from a rich, famous, and powerful family. His mother admits she’s overwhelmed by the news, and asks, delighted, “What is her name?” He answers, “Tiffany Trump.” There is a pause, then his mother asks, “What happened to that nice boy you were dating last year?

Bright Lights Q. How many White House advisors does it take to change a light bulb? A. None.  They’re supposed to keep the President in the dark.

You see, the Christmas story is the world’s best love story. It’s about a God of love sending the Son of his love to live a life of love and die a death of love, so that all who believe in him would be welcomed into the arms of his love forever and ever. Embedded in the Christmas story is a promise of unbroken love for the children of God. You can do the dumbest thing, and God will still love you. You can have a day when you ignore his existence, and God will still love you. You can fail to do what he’s called you to do, and he will still love you. I am not arguing that sin is okay or that you should not take it seriously. I’m arguing that the security of our relationship with God has never depended on the faithfulness of our obedience. If God withdrew his love every time we failed, there would be no hope for any of us. The unbreakable faithfulness of God’s love for us is such a huge comfort precisely because we are unfaithful. The unstained perfection of God’s love gives such hope to us because we aren’t perfect.

Does it make sense to put locks on the doors of doughnut shops that are open 24/7?

Does it make sense to call a vegetarian a meathead?

Is spell-check for witches?

Is the Easter Bunny from Easter Island?

Donald Trump was the dumbest person on earth and there was nothing I could do about it. The dumbness of any one person, regardless of their influence on the world, had nothing to do with me, except that it could maybe make me look good in certain company, but at the same time this fixation, on news, on other people, on gossip, on distillations and opinions, was nothing if not a reminder of how much one could know without actually knowing anything.

Do people in Bangkok have sore dicks?

Let’s call him a "Minnie perv." A 60 year old man was convicted in August, of groping Minnie Mouse at Disney World.

Where is China made?

Does it make sense to call a vegetarian a meathead? Does the Cable Guy eat TV dinners? Does the Royal Family dine at Burger King and Dairy Queen? Does smoked salmon require rolling paper?

Does Home Depot sell houses?

BRAIN SURGEON WANTED

Does Michael come from Jordan?

Does Lysol get rid of lice?

5 HALF-BAKED

Can a self employed person file sexual harassment charges against themself? Can a store issue a rain check on a sunny day? Can you feed animal crackers to a vegetarian? Can you eat a TV dinner if you don’t have cable? Can you take a nap in a restroom?

dumb

Why the heck are there cup holders in cars if drinking and driving is illegal?

sex

Can you feed animal crackers to a vegetarian?

Who," he said. "I don't want to talk about it unless you start the car." He rolled down the window and took the keys from the ignition and dropped them onto the ground outside. "Who," he said. "See? I knew you were going to make a federal case over it." "Who," he said. She folded her arms. "Well, you sound like the world's dumbest owl," she said.

A billionaire plutocrat is now sitting in the White House. Democracy has been overthrown. A right wing coup d’état has taken place. The Confederacy has defeated the Union. Racist Nazis are now running America, calling themselves “patriots”. They are the enemies of the People, the enemies of America, and the enemies of the world. We need to reboot the world.

SOME IDIOTS WEAR BADGES - Anyone who reads an American newspaper watches the news on television or lives in the southern border state knows the U.S. has millions of illegal aliens in the country and hundreds, or more, crossing the border at will daily and little to nothing will be done to them. The South African man is a fortunate fellow and has taken time to backpack around the world. He obtained a legal visa to enter the U.S. for a six-month period to sightsee in America. On the last day of his legal visa, he decided to cross the border into Canada from Washington State but was refused for not having a visa for Canada. He was told to return to the U.S. border patrol station a few hundred feet away. When he went to the U.S. Border guard and asked what he should do now, the guard said nothing except to say the man was 30-minutes past his visa deadline and arrested the man who was jailed on a $7,500 bond. An immigration lawyer in Washington State was so outraged by the incident he offered his services to the traveler at no charge. After media publicity ICE decided to release the man after three weeks in jail. Now he must wait 35 days for a Canadian visa.

In an illuminating comment on the financialisation of business, Jack Welch — now long retired from General Electric — would in 2009 proclaim shareholder value 'the dumbest idea in the world.

Liberalism is an ideology created by capitalists to maximize capitalist profits. Consumer capitalism demands free trade, borderless nations, weak government, a small State, liberal attitudes, low taxes, political correctness, and multiculturalism. Consumer capitalism opposes anything that gets in the way of maximum free trade. It hates regulation, laws, rules, taxes, nationalism, protectionism, religious or political controls. It wants the world to be one big marketplace with no values, no causes, no principles, nothing at all to obstruct the fullest degree of mindless consumption. Consumer capitalism produced the modern crisis of immigration and multiculturalism. These have nothing at all to do with the left wing. If the right wing predatory capitalists had the slightest shred of intellectual integrity, they would blame themselves for all of the world’s ills. Instead, they have created a fake, fabricated enemy called “Cultural Marxism” on which to heap culpability.

If someone has a bottle of glue inside a mental hospital, is that called Crazy Glue?

One thing to remember about this prediction: “President Trump” was the punchline to the setup, “What’s the dumbest thing we could imagine America doing?” When the news of the world becomes jokes on The Simpsons, that’s satire. But when jokes on The Simpsons become the news of the world—well, that’s just fucked up.

What’s Your Foreign Policy? Investing in foreign stocks may not be mandatory for the intelligent investor, but it is definitely advisable. Why? Let’s try a little thought experiment. It’s the end of 1989, and you’re Japanese. Here are the facts: Over the past 10 years, your stock market has gained an annual average of 21.2%, well ahead of the 17.5% annual gains in the United States. Japanese companies are buying up everything in the United States from the Pebble Beach golf course to Rockefeller Center; meanwhile, American firms like Drexel Burnham Lambert, Financial Corp. of America, and Texaco are going bankrupt. The U.S. high-tech industry is dying. Japan’s is booming. In 1989, in the land of the rising sun, you can only conclude that investing outside of Japan is the dumbest idea since sushi vending machines. Naturally, you put all your money in Japanese stocks. The result? Over the next decade, you lose roughly two-thirds of your money. The lesson? It’s not that you should never invest in foreign markets like Japan; it’s that the Japanese should never have kept all their money at home. And neither should you. If you live in the United States, work in the United States, and get paid in U.S. dollars, you are already making a multilayered bet on the U.S. economy. To be prudent, you should put some of your investment portfolio elsewhere—simply because no one, anywhere, can ever know what the future will bring at home or abroad. Putting up to a third of your stock money in mutual funds that hold foreign stocks (including those in emerging markets) helps insure against the risk that our own backyard may not always be the best place in the world to invest.

Kick Me, Wash Me, Pay Me (America) Keeping your car cold and dirty can pay off! That’s what a New Hampshire man found out when his parked automobile was hit by a passing motorist who decided to keep right on going. The man’s car was caked with mud and frost, which allowed the hit-and-run vehicle to leave a perfect imprint of its license tag.