Women Chloe Caldwell Quotes

Eventually it becomes obvious to me that I have stopped living and started killing time.

I always want to feel good and I never want to feel bad. Because of this, I’m experienced in substance abuse issues.

Things hurt worse before they hurt better.

I get drunk and high like in high school. I smoke weed out of a can, I drink wine out of a box. I used to be more hardcore in my self-destruction, but I am back to basics now.

I decide to hone my joy. I dance around the kitchen to Judy Garland’s Greatest Hits on the turntable. The sun on my chest, I spin in my socks. Bruised, exhausted, and fluttering back to earth.

I Don’t Do Drugs I Am Drugs

What I know: When I met you, a blue rush began. We treat desire as a problem to be solved. We fucked for six straight hours that afternoon, which does not seem precisely possible but that is what the clock said. We killed the time. To read is to cover one’s face, to write is to show it. Are there many things in this cool-hearted world so utterly exquisite as the pure love of one woman for another woman?

I feel drawn to the word "unmoored" during this time. I look it up a few times a week. I stare at the definition on my computer screen. I love the example sentence Wikipedia uses, which says, Left unmoored, the boat gradually drifts out to sea. It pops into my head when I wake in the mornings, while I walk the streets, wait for the bus, the train, get into cabs, eat lunch alone, and browse the shelves at the library.

In hindsight, I see it was my decision not to let go. I didn't know how, though some days I focused completely on it: using therapy, distraction, exercise. Other days I left myself wildly grieve. Finn affects it all: every conversation I have, what I choose to wear, what books I read, what films and shows I watch. There's that Buddhist quote, (S)he who angers you owns you. She owned me. I allowed it. She controlled me. I knew this feeling of misery would pass, that what I needed was time, but I was impatient. Unfortunately, we must live through the present to get to the future, writes Hanif Kureishi in his novel Intimacy.

Never say very if you're tempted to say very then say damn.

She looks at me looking at her, and says, In my wildest dreams, I never thought you would look at me that way.

Besides some aches in our bones, and the tear in my coat, we are fine. We all keep going.

Lesbians can suck my dick! They will ruin your life.' I tell the bartender this after my second tequila shot. He responds by asking if I'd like a glass of water.

I become familiar with cold hard grounds. On a Friday night, I drink three too many glasses of wine and I call Finn. She makes no black humor jokes. It is not an erotic mess anymore, like Sabine once told me it was. The conflict and torture is not a sign of intelligence anymore, as Finn once told me it was. It is ugly. We are exhausted. Gutted. You're too hard! she yells at me. Be soft, she orders. I'm confused, I tell her. I don't know what to grieve. I can't be in a relationship with anyone, she says, so if you have to grieve something, grieve that. She says this strongly. She means it. When we get off the phone I am in fetal position on the bathroom floor, holding my heart, while it literally aches.

I an facing the wall. I say, “I need to change the way I live my life”. She says yeah, or she says nothing. I do not remember.

I am facing the wall. I say, “I need to change the way I live my life”. She says yeah, or she says nothing. I do not remember.

The writer was explaining how when a certain lover does something—that makes you nuts, whatever that may be—they bite your ear or say a certain dirty word or kiss a particular part of your body, it means everything, gets you off. But when you ask another lover to do the same exact thing, it has no meaning, no effect. You are unmoved.

Sometimes I wonder what it is I could tell you about her for my job here to be done. I am looking for a shortcut - something I could say that would effortlessly untangle the ball of yarn I am trying to untangle here on these pages. But that would be asking too much from you. It wasn't you who loved her, or thought you loved her.

Lily and I go outside to the patio. We are surrounded by dozens, maybe a hundred, females. I'm overwhelmed. That night, I know the definition of yearning. I feel invisible. See me! Help me! I am hurting! Make me feel good. Someone who looks like you has put an ache in my heart.

Just before I moved to this city my mother told me life could be exciting without drugs.

I knew I wouldn’t be with Isaac forever as we didn’t have a passionate connection. We were quite different. For one, he didn’t do opiates, he was more interested in sports than books,

I feel like people say this a lot and it should be banned from all books, but she smelled like cocoa butter. She read books avidly. She walked with a certain swagger. My friend Nathan saw her walking down the street, and told me, I can’t tell if she’s incredibly cocky or incredibly tortured.