Weezer Quotes

all these memories make me want to go back there

Ten Best Song to Strip 1. Any hip-swiveling R&B fuckjam. This category includes The Greatest Stripping Song of All Time: "Remix to Ignition" by R. Kelly. 2. "Purple Rain" by Prince, but you have to be really theatrical about it. Arch your back like Prince himself is daubing body glitter on your abdomen. Most effective in nearly empty, pathos-ridden juice bars. 3. "Honky Tonk Woman" by the Rolling Stones. Insta-attitude. Makes even the clumsiest troglodyte strut like Anita Pallenberg. (However, the Troggs will make you look like even more of a troglodyte, so avoid if possible.) 4. "Pour Some Sugar on Me" by Def Leppard. The Lep's shouted choruses and relentless programmed drums prove ideal for chicks who can really stomp. (Coincidence: I once saw a stripper who, like Rick Allen, had only one arm.) 5. "Amber" by 311. This fluid stoner anthem is a favorite of midnight tokers at strip joints everywhere. Mellow enough that even the most shitfaced dancer can make it through the song and back to her Graffix bong without breaking a sweat. Pass the Fritos Scoops, dude. 6. "Miserable" by Lit, but mostly because Pamela Anderson is in the video, and she's like Jesus for strippers (blonde, plastic, capable of parlaying a broken nail into a domestic battery charge, damaged liver). Alos, you can't go wrong stripping to a song that opens with the line "You make me come." 7. "Back Door Man" by The Doors. Almost too easy. The mere implication that you like it in the ass will thrill the average strip-club patron. Just get on all fours and crawl your way toward the down payment on that condo in Cozumel. (Unless, like most strippers, you'd rather blow your nest egg on tacky pimped-out SUVs and Coach purses.) 8. Back in Black" by AC/DC. Producer Mutt Lange wants you to strip. He does. He told me. 9. "I Touch Myself" by the Devinyls. Strip to this, and that guy at the tip rail with the bitch tits and the shop teacher glasses will actually believe that he alone has inspired you to masturbate. Take his money, then go masturbate and think about someone else. 10. "Hash Pipe" by Weezer. Sure, it smells of nerd. But River Cuomo is obsessed with Asian chicks and nose candy, and that's just the spirit you want to evoke in a strip club. I recommend busting out your most crunk pole tricks during this one.

You know that this isn't the end, so hang on.

Imma do the things that i wanna do, I ain't gotta thing to prove to you. I'll eat my candy with my pork and beans, Excuse my manners if i cause a scene. I ain't gonna wear the clothes that you like, im fine and dandy with the me inside. One look in the mirror and im tickled pink. I don't give a hoot about what you think!

When you're on a golden sea, you don't need no memory...

I had a dream about you. We made a good team, you and I, and I thought we were in love, but our coach didn’t agree. He tried saying he wanted to trade you to another team, but I said if he did that I’m going to take up competitive knitting. He knew I was serious, because the word on the street was that Weezer’s “The Sweater Song” was inspired by a legendary cat sweater I knitted.

The Christmas Song - by Weezer

And Weezer’s staying power on the rock scene is a testament to their superior virtuosity and exemplary songwriting abilities. In the aftermath of the group’s debut album, Rivers Cuomo turned inwards and penned what would become the divisive Pinkerton, a caustic, grungy album whose naked declarations of personal angst made it a favorite of over-programmed high school students and helped inspire the Emo boom that would crest in the early 2000s.

Record store life here not only became about learning how to cope with unhip hippies and goofy college kids that as a species all loved Weezer, but also the glazed-over eyes and serene Manson Family-like demeanor of the California New Agers, the amount of white people with white dreads versus the almost complete absence of black people, but maybe the weirdest of all, considering, was the lack of old-school real-deal Endless Summer-style surfer bums.

because they just started playing the Weezer cover of ‘Africa’, like, as if it wasn’t lame enough in here already? As if the vibe couldn’t get any whiter?

It's a town where high school kids, having nowhere to go on Friday nights, park their stepfathers' trucks in the unlit edges of the Walmart parking lot, drinking Smirnoff out of Poland Spring bottles and blasting Weezer and Lil Wayne until they look down one night to find a baby in their arms and realize they're thirtysomething and the Walmart hasn't changed except for its logo, brighter now, lending a bluish glow to their time-gaunt faces.