Weak Men Focus On Women Quotes

I just want to say one thing. If I ever write a novel again, it's going to be in defense of weak women, inept and codependent women. I'm going to talk about all the great movies and songs and poetry that focus on such women. I'm going to toast Blanche DuBois. I'm going to celebrate women who aren't afraid to show their need and their vulnerabilities. To be honest about how hard it can be to plow your way through a life that offers no guarantees about anything. I'm going to get on my metaphorical knees and thank women who fall apart, who cry and carry on and wail and wring their hands because you know what, Midge? We all need to cry. Thank God for women who can articulate their vulnerabilities and express what probably a lot of other people want to say and feel they can't. Those peoples' stronghold against falling apart themselves is the disdain they feel for women who do it for them. Strong. I'm starting to think that's as much a party line as anything else ever handed to women for their assigned roles. When do we get respect for our differences from men? Our strength is our weakness. Our ability to feel is our humanity. You know what? I'll bet if you talk to a hundred strong women, 99 of them would say 'I'm sick of being strong. I would like to be cared for. I would like someone else to make the goddamn decisions, I'm sick of making decisions.' I know this one woman who's a beacon of strength. A single mother who can do everything - even more than you, Midge. I ran into her not long ago and we went and got a coffee and you know what she told me? She told me that when she goes out to dinner with her guy, she asks him to order everything for her. Every single thing, drink to dessert. Because she just wants to unhitch. All of us dependent, weak women have the courage to do all the time what she can only do in a restaurant.

Throughout my career, I did not need to do strenuous physical tasks such as restraining the crocodiles or moving heavy cartons of food. As a team, I feel men and women can complement each other in harmony, if we focus on our strengths instead of weaknesses.

The Artist His gift is the ability to deeply see a woman. There are men who truly see women and men who see only what they want in women. The latter don’t get a lot in return. If you see only a body or a shell when you look at a woman, what would inspire her to share the gift of her innermost self? Remember, a woman thrives on being seen and known; a void of this reflection and caring leaves her feeling empty, unfulfilled, and resistant to you.  The Poet His gift is his capacity to give voice to what he sees. You might see a woman’s feminine essence, her unique beauty, and her inner beauty; but if you aren’t able to convey that to her, she won’t know or feel the depth of your love and desire. When you do choose to see and express who a woman is (at her essence) in words, you offer her a gift she cannot give to herself. Sure, she can know and cherish herself, but her feminine desire to be celebrated is different. “To be celebrated, honored, and valued with language and gesture” is a gift she cannot give herself. Note: The Artist and the Poet are clearly intertwined. Seeing and celebrating a woman are practically one in the same. And yet, one without the other leaves a void. Animate the Artist and the Poet together and feel inside you how deeply seeing a woman and being emotionally expressive with her unlocks your love and your power, and opens her. The Director His gift is the gift of direction – taking a woman somewhere she cannot take herself. The Artist and The Poet give shape to your loving, but without the forward motion and focus of the director, your relationship will lack directionality. The director takes a woman somewhere, sometimes literally, and sometimes within herself. Yes, a woman can direct herself; she has a masculine aspect. But your gift of directionality opens doorways, experiences, and feelings a feminine, flowing woman may never access on her own. Note: The Director and The Poet are natural partners. Giving voice to what you see and know about a woman builds trust. She relaxes. The Poet opens a woman’s desire to let go and turn herself over to a man’s directionality. Without this, The Director will meet with resistance. Remember, following is a choice. Letting go with you is a choice. A woman follows a confident dancer; she resists a weak one. Let her know you see and understand her, and she will open to your lead.

When things go wrong, girls and women turn to their friends for emotional empathy and advice. Women provide a sympathetic ear and are more focused on supportive listening than on problem solving. Men react to stressors by distracting themselves or putting the problem out of their mind: “A problem shared is a problem doubled” seems to typify their view. To men, unburdening to a friend not only advertises an inability to solve their own problems but entails divulging errors of judgment—weaknesses that gave rise to the problem in the first place.

During an open discussion at a conference, former first lady Michelle Obama stressed the importance for men to communicate with and support one another. “Y’all should get you some friends. . . . Y’all need to go talk to each other about your stuff, because there’s so much of it! Talk about why y’all are the way you are.”1 I agree, but unfortunately, we have been taught and conditioned to believe misleading mantras such as “real men don’t cry” or “what doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger.” As a result, we suppress our emotions to keep from looking weak. Unlike women, responsible men, especially African American men of the Most High, do not hang out enough with their friends. We can’t even fathom planning an excursion out of state just for fun! Many of us are so responsible that we have forgotten what fun feels like—always focusing on what needs to be done instead of what we need to do for ourselves to keep our minds healthy and emotions stable. Men lack “safe spaces” in which we can feel free from condemnation and release what’s weighing us down. But every time I’ve been present when men gather in a “judgment-free zone” and are encouraged to share their burdens, I’ve seen how one man taking a step out and expressing the heaviness of his heart can cause a domino effect. With the ice broken, the men talk for hours, and previously clogged tear ducts open up to allow tears to flow naturally, freely.