“
Why do you call her 'love'?" James asks. "I've heard you say that before, too. A lot. Are you in love with her? I think Adam's in love with her. Kenji's not in love with her, though. I already asked him."
Warner blinks at him.
"Well?" James asks.
"Well what?"
"Are you in love with her?"
"Are you in love with her?"
"What?" James blushes. "No. She's like a million years older than me."
"Would anyone else like to take over this conversation?" Warner asks, looking around the group.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Ignite Me (Shatter Me, #3))
“
I do want you," I say to him, my voice shaking. "I want you so much it scares me.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Ignite Me (Shatter Me, #3))
“
So that's it?" Kenji says. "You just like him for his personality, huh?"
"What?"
"All of this," Kenji says, waving a hand in the air, "has nothing to do with him being all sexy and shit and him being able to touch you all the time?"
"You think Warner is sexy?"
"That is not what I said.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Ignite Me (Shatter Me, #3))
“
I'm not falling for Warner," I say quietly.
"Sure you aren't."
"I'm not," I insist. "I'm just-- I don't know." I sigh. "I don't know what's happening to me."
"They're called hormones.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Ignite Me (Shatter Me, #3))
“
Can you, like, see invisible people, too?"
"No," Warner says to him, eyes focused in front of him. "I can feel your presence. Hers, most of all."
"Really?" Kenji says. "That's some weird shit. What do I feel like? Peanut butter?"
Warner is unamused.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Ignite Me (Shatter Me, #3))
“
I'm having a panic attack, you inconsiderate ass.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Restore Me (Shatter Me, #4))
“
One day," I say to him, "you'll realize that Warner is not as crazy as you think he is."
"Yeah." Kenji says. "Or maybe one day we'll be able to reprogram that chip in your head."
"Shut up.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Ignite Me (Shatter Me, #3))
“
This isn't about Adam or Warner," I tell him, "This is about me and what I want. This is about me finally understanding where I want to be in ten years. Because I'm going to be alive, Kenji. I will be alive in ten years, and I'm going to be happy. I'm going to be strong. And I don't need anyone to tell me that anymore. I am enough, and I always will be.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Ignite Me (Shatter Me, #3))
“
Go to hell, Kishimoto.” “I'm right behind you, bro.” He winks at me.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Restore Me (Shatter Me, #4))
“
Shit, man, if I didn’t know you were in a world of pain right now, I’d be filming this.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Restore Me (Shatter Me, #4))
“
But it’s my wedding day,” she says. “And I have nothing to wear.” “You’re right.” I kiss the top of her head. “I’m going to kill him.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Imagine Me (Shatter Me, #6))
“
But — why would she break up with you? Why was she crying?” At this, I laugh again.
“ Because I,” I say, pointing at myself, “am a monster."
Kenji looks confused. “ And how is that news to anyone?”
I smile. He’s funny, I think. Funny guy.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Restore Me (Shatter Me, #4))
“
What the hell is wrong with you, man? I thought we were cool.”
“We were,” Warner says icily. “Until you touched my hair.”
“You asked me to give you a haircut—”
“I said nothing of the sort! I asked you to trim the edges!”
“And that’s what I did.”
“This,” Warner says, spinning around so I might inspect the damage, “is not trimming the edges, you incompetent moron—”
I gasp. The back of Warner’s head is a jagged mess of uneven hair; entire chunks have been buzzed off.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Restore Me (Shatter Me, #4))
“
Oh, you are in for a world of pain, bro. A world. Of. Pain.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Restore Me (Shatter Me, #4))
“
You eat like a caveman."
"No, I don't," he says angrily. And then, a moment later: "Do I?"
Warner to Kenji
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Defy Me (Shatter Me, #5))
“
What if he just bombs everyone again?" Ian asks, breaking the silence. "Just like he did with Omega Point?"
"He won't," Warner says to him. "He's too arrogant, and this war has become personal. He'll want to toy with us. He'll want to draw this out as long as possible. He is a man who has always been fascinated by the idea of torture. This is going to be fun for him."
"Yeah, that's making me feel real good," Kenji says. "Thanks for the pep talk."
"Anytime," Warner says.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Ignite Me (Shatter Me, #3))
“
He destroyed her dress the night before our wedding. Like a monster. I’m going to murder him.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Imagine Me (Shatter Me, #6))
“
I’m sorry I ever asked you guys to be friends. You don’t have to be friends. You don’t even have to like each other. Forget I said anything.”
Warner drops his crossed arms.
Kenji raises his eyebrows.
“I promise,” I say. “No more forced hangout sessions. No more spending time alone without me. Okay?”
“You swear?” Kenji says.
“I swear.”
“Thank God,” Warner says.
“Same, bro. Same.”
And I roll my eyes, irritated. This is the first thing they’ve managed to agree on in over a week: their mutual hatred of my hopes for their friendship.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Restore Me (Shatter Me, #4))
“
What reason would you have to be afraid of Warner? He’s such a nice guy. Loves children. Big talker. Oh, and bonus: He no longer murders people professionally. No, now
murdering people is just a fulfilling hobby.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Imagine Me (Shatter Me, #6))
“
So I take a deep breath.
Step forward.
Let go.
10 seconds and I'm trying to breathe
9
And I'm trying to be brave
8
But the truth is I'm scared out of my mind
7
And I have no idea what's waiting for me behind that door
6
And I'm pretty sure I'm going to have a heart attack
5
But I can't turn back now
4
Because there it is
3
The door is right in front of me
2
All I have to do is knock
1
Butthe door flies open first.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Unravel Me (Shatter Me, #2))
“
I’ve seen a lot of strange things in my life, but I never thought I’d have the pleasure of seeing Kishimoto shut his mouth for longer than five minutes.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi
“
Warner leans back, just a little. “Tell me what you want,” he says desperately. “Tell me what to do,” he says, “and I’ll do it.”
“This is, by far, the craziest shit I have ever seen,” Kenji says. “I really never would’ve believed it. Not in a million years.”
“It’s like a soap opera.” Ian nods. “But with worse acting.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Ignite Me (Shatter Me, #3))
“
What?” I cut him off. “That’s not true—I do take this seriously—”
“Bullshit.” He laughs a short, sharp, angry laugh. “All you do is sit around and think about your feelings. You’ve got problems. Boo-freaking-hoo,” he says. “Your parents hate you and it’s so hard but you have to wear gloves for the rest of your life because you kill people when you touch them. Who gives a shit?” He’s breathing hard enough for me to hear him. “As far as I can tell, you’ve got food in your mouth and clothes on your back and a place to pee in peace whenever you feel like it. Those aren’t problems. That’s called living like a king. And I’d really appreciate it if you’d grow the hell up and stop walking around like the world crapped on your only roll of toilet paper. Because it’s stupid,” he says, barely reining in his temper. “It’s stupid, and it’s ungrateful. You don’t have a clue what everyone else in the world is going through right now. You don’t have a clue, Juliette. And you don’t seem to give a damn, either.” I swallow, so hard. “Now I am trying,” he says, “to give you a chance to fix things. I keep giving you opportunities to do things differently. To see past the sad little girl you used to be—the sad little girl you keep clinging to—and stand up for yourself. Stop crying. Stop sitting in the dark counting out all your individual feelings about how sad and lonely you are. Wake up,” he says. “You’re not the only person in this world who doesn’t want to get out of bed in the morning. You’re not the only one with daddy issues and severely screwed-up DNA. You can be whoever the hell you want to be now.
You’re not with your shitty parents anymore. You’re not in that shitty asylum, and you’re no longer stuck being Warner’s shitty little experiment. So make a choice,” he says. “Make a choice and stop wasting everyone’s time. Stop wasting your own time. Okay?
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Unravel Me (Shatter Me, #2))
“
Come on, bro, we have to get out of here— This isn’t a fair fight—”
-Kenji Kishimoto
“You go,” he says, clutching his side. “Go find Nazeera, and then find the other kids. I’ll be fine.”
-Aaron Warner
“You’re not going to be fine,” I hiss. “She’s going to kill you.”
-Kenji Kishimoto
“That’s fine, too.”
-Aaron Warner
”
”
Taherah Mafi
“
Kengi?"
"Yeah?"
I take a deep breath. Try to count the stars. "What am I going to do?"
"About what?"
I hesitate. "About everything."
Kenji makes a strange sound. "Shit if I know."
"I don't want to do this without you," I whisper.
He leans back. "Who said you're going to do anything without me?"
My heart skips a few beats. I stare at him.
"What?" he asks. Raises his eyebrows. "You're surprised?"
"You'll fight with me?" I ask him, hardly breathing. "Fight back with me? Even if it's with Warner?"
Kenji smiles. Looks up at the sky. "Hell yeah," he says.
"Really?"
"I'm here for you, kid. That's what friends are for.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Ignite Me (Shatter Me, #3))
“
I'm very tired," I say to him. "Please go directly to hell
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Restore Me (Shatter Me, #4))
“
But it’s my wedding day,” she says. “And I have nothing to wear.”
“You’re right.” I kiss the top of her head. “I’m going to kill him.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Imagine Me (Shatter Me, #6))
“
Warner scratches the back of his head. “Do you never get exhausted being so wholly unbearable? You have as much charisma as the rotting innards of unidentified roadkill.”
I hear an abrupt wheezing noise and turn toward the sound.
Kenji has a hand pressed to his mouth, desperately trying to suppress a smile. He’s shaking his head, holding up a hand in apology. And then he breaks, laughing out loud, snorting as he tries to muffle the sound. “I’m sorry,” he says, pressing his lips together, shaking his head again. “This is not a funny moment. It’s not. I’m not laughing.”
Adam looks like he might punch Kenji in the face.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi
“
You eat like a caveman."
"No, I don't, " he says angrily. And then a moment later: "Do I?
”
”
Tahareh Mafi
“
You don’t know,” I say, exasperated. “That’s why you don’t understand. You don’t know what I used to be like. You don’t know what it was like in my head. I lived in a really dark place,” I say to him. “I wasn’t safe in my own mind. I woke up every morning hoping to die and then spent the rest of the day wondering if maybe I was already dead because I couldn’t even tell the difference,” I say, more harshly than I mean to. “I had a small thread of hope and I clung to it, but the majority of my life was spent waiting around to see if someone would take pity on me.”
Kenji is just staring at me, his eyes tight.
“Don’t you think I’ve realized,” I say to him, angrier now, “that if I’d allowed myself to get mad a long time ago, I would’ve discovered I had the strength to break through that asylum with my own two hands?”
Kenji flinches.
“Don’t you think that I think about that, all the time?” I ask him, my voice shaking. “Don’t you think it kills me to know that it was my own unwillingness to recognize myself as a human being that kept me trapped for so long? For two hundred and sixty-four days, Kenji,” I say, swallowing hard. “Two hundred and sixty-four days I was in there and the whole time, I had the power to break myself out and I didn’t, because I had no idea I could. Because I never even tried. Because I let the world teach me to hate myself. I was a coward,” I say, “who needed someone else to tell me I was worth something before I took any steps to save myself.
“This isn’t about Adam or Warner,” I tell him. “This is about me and what I want. This is about me finally understanding where I want to be in ten years. Because I’m going to be alive, Kenji. I will be alive in ten years, and I’m going to be happy. I’m going to be strong. And I don’t need anyone to tell me that anymore. I am enough, and I always will be.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi
“
Why do you call her ‘love’?” James asks. “I’ve heard you say that before, too. A lot. Are you in love with her? I think Adam’s in love with her. Kenji’s not in love with her, though. I already asked him.”
Warner blinks at him.
“Well?” James asks.
“Well what?”
“Are you in love with her?”
“Are you in love with her?”
“What?” James blushes. “No. She’s like a million years older than me.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Ignite Me (Shatter Me, #3))
“
Kenji pulls up next to me. Nods at Warner. “So this gets you going, huh?”
I’m mortified.
Kenji barks out a laugh.
“I’ve never seen him in sweatpants before.” I try to sound normal. “I’ve never even seen him in shorts.”
Kenji raises an eyebrow at me. “I bet you’ve seen him in less.”
I want to die.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi
“
The reason he had to keep wiping their memories was because it didn’t matter how many times he reset the story or remade the introductions— Aaron always fell in love with her. Every time.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi, Defy Me
“
Kenji goes suddenly still.
At the creak of the door Kenji’s eyebrows shoot up; a soft click and his eyes widen; a muted rustle of movement and suddenly the barrel of a gun is pressed against the back of his head. Kenji stares at me, his lips making no sound as he mouths the word psychopath over and over again.
The psychopath in question winks at me from where he’s standing, smiling like he couldn’t possibly be holding a gun to the head of our mutual friend. I manage to suppress a laugh.
“Go on,” Warner says, still smiling. “Please tell me exactly how she’s failed you as a leader.”
“Hey—“ Kenji’s arms fly up in mock surrender. “I never said she failed at anything, okay? And you are clearly over-react—“
Warner knocks Kenji on the side of the head with the weapon. “Idiot.”
Kenji spins around. Yanks the gun out of Warner’s hand. “What the hell is wrong with you, man? I thought we were cool.”
“We were,” Warner says icily. “Until you touched my hair.”
“You asked me to give you a haircut—“
“I said nothing of the sort! I asked you to trim the edges!”
“And that’s what I did.”
“This,” Warner says, spinning around so I might inspect the damage, “is not trimming the edges, you incompetent moron—“
I gasp. The back of Warner’s head is a jagged mess of uneven hair; entire chunks have been buzzed off.
Kenji cringes as he looks over his handiwork. Clears his throat. “Well,” he says, shoving his hand in his pockets. “I mean—whatever, man, beauty is subjective—“
Warner aims another gun at him.
“Hey!” Kenji shouts. “I am not here for this abusive relationship, okay?” He points to Warner. “I did not sign up for this shit!”
Warner glares at him and Kenji retreats, backing out of the room before Warner has another chance to react; and then, just as I let out a sign of relief, Kenji pops his head back into the doorway and says
“I think the cut looks cute, actually”
and Warner slams the door in his face.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Restore Me (Shatter Me, #4))
“
Which means right now, I'm watching him bench-press three hundred and fifteen pounds. Three forty-five pound plates on each side of what Kenji told me is an Olympic bar, which weighs an additional forty-five pounds. I can't stop staring. I don't think I've every been more attracted to him in all the time I've known him.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Ignite Me (Shatter Me, #3))
“
Please, love. Just ignore it.” “What if something’s wrong?” “Nothing is wrong,” he says. “It’s just Kenji.” “Kenji?” I hear some kind of shuffle, and my heart picks up. J always comes through. She always comes through. “How do you know it’s Kenji?” “Call it a wild guess,” Warner says. I ring the doorbell again. “Coming!” J. Finally. “She’s not coming,” Warner shouts. “Go away.” “I’m not going anywhere,” I shout back. “I want to talk to Juliette. Ella. Jella. Jello. Whatever.” “Ella, love, please—let me kill him.” I hear J laugh, which is sweet, actually, because it’s clear she thinks Warner’s joking. Me, on the other hand—I’m pretty sure he’s not.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Reveal Me (Shatter Me, #5.5))
“
This, needless to say, makes him the polar opposite of Kenji, who loves to eat everything, all the time, and who later told me that watching Warner eat a cookie made him want to cry.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Restore Me (Shatter Me, #4))
“
He glanced up at me, glanced back at his work, whispered a quiet thank you, and ate the cookie with a knife and fork. He didn’t even seem to enjoy it. This, needless to say, makes him the polar opposite of Kenji, who loves to eat everything, all the time, and who later told me that watching Warner eat a cookie made him want to cry.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Restore Me)
“
No,” Warner says to him, eyes focused in front of him. “I can feel your presence. Hers, most of all.” “Really?” Kenji says. “That’s some weird shit. What do I feel like? Peanut butter?
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Ignite Me (Shatter Me, #3))
“
Hey—jazz hands!” Kenji barks. “Get your ass back over here.” He makes it a point to look as irritated as possible. “Back to work. And this time, focus. You’re not an ape. Don’t just throw your shit everywhere.” Warner actually laughs. Out loud.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Ignite Me (Shatter Me, #3))
“
So that's it?" Kenji says. "You just like him for his personality, huh?"
"What?"
"All of this," Kenji says, waving a hand in the air, "has nothing to do with him being all sexy and shit and him being able to touch you all the time?"
"You think Warner is sexy?"
"That is not what I said.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Ignite Me (Shatter Me, #3))
“
Don’t you think that I think about that, all the time?” I ask him, my voice shaking. “Don’t you think it kills me to know that it was my own unwillingness to recognize myself as a human being that kept me trapped for so long? For two hundred and sixty-four days, Kenji,” I say, swallowing hard. “Two hundred and sixty-four days I was in there and the whole time, I had the power to break myself out and I didn’t, because I had no idea I could. Because I never even tried. Because I let the world teach me to hate myself. I was a coward,” I say, “who needed someone else to tell me I was worth something before I took any steps to save myself. “This isn’t about Adam or Warner,” I tell him. “This is about me and what I want. This is about me finally understanding where I want to be in ten years. Because I’m going to be alive, Kenji. I will be alive in ten years, and I’m going to be happy. I’m going to be strong. And I don’t need anyone to tell me that anymore. I am enough, and I always will be.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi (Ignite Me (Shatter Me, #3))
“
Why do you call her 'love'?" James asks. "I've heard you say that before, too. A lot. Are you in love with her? I think Adam's in love with her. Kenji's not in love with her, though. I already asked him."
Warner blinks at him.
"Well?" James asks.
"Well what?"
"Are you in love with her?"
"Are you in love with her?"
"What?" James blushes. "No. She's like a million years older than me."
"Would anyone else like to take over this conversation?" Warner asks, looking around the group.
”
”
Tahereh Mafi