Void Ray Quotes

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When I realize that she is gone, perhaps gone forever, a great void opens up and I feel that I am falling, falling, falling into deep, black space. And this is worse than tears, deeper than regret or pain or sorrow, it is the abyss into which Satan was plunged. There is no climbing back, no ray of light, no sound of human voice or human touch of hand.
Henry Miller (Tropic of Cancer (Tropic, #1))
Kaladin screamed, reaching the end of the bridge. Finding a tiny surge of strength somewhere, he raised his spear and threw himself off the end of the wooden platform, launching into the air above the cavernous void. Bridgemen cried out in dismay. Syl zipped about him with worry. Parshendi looked up with amazement as a lone bridgeman sailed through the air toward them. His drained, worn-out body barely had any strength left. In that moment of crystallized time, he looked down on his enemies. Parshendi with their marbled red and black skin. Soldiers raising finely crafted weapons, as if to cut him from the sky. Strangers, oddities in carapace breastplates and skullcaps. Many of them wearing beards. Beards woven with glowing gemstones. Kaladin breathed in. Like the power of salvation itself—like rays of sunlight from the eyes of the Almighty—Stormlight exploded from those gemstones. It streamed through the air, pulled in visible streams, like glowing columns of luminescent smoke. Twisting and turning and spiraling like tiny funnel clouds until they slammed into him. And the storm came to life again.
Brandon Sanderson (The Way of Kings (The Stormlight Archive, #1))
The easy part is the ray’s 500-second speed-of-light jaunt from the Sun to Earth, through the void of interplanetary space. The hard part is the light’s million-year adventure to get from the Sun’s center to its surface.
Neil deGrasse Tyson (Death by Black Hole)
When I realize that she is gone, perhaps gone forever, a great void opens up and I feel that I am falling, falling, falling into deep, black space. And this is worse than tears, deeper than regret or pain or sorrow; it is the abyss into which Satan was plunged. There is no climbing back, no ray of light, no sound of human voice or human touch of hand.
Henry Miller (Tropic of Cancer)
What are we?” he asked. “Why, we are the miracle of force and matter making itself over into imagination and will. Incredible. The Life Force experimenting with forms. You for one. Me for another. The Universe has shouted itself alive. We are one of the shouts. Creation turns in its abyss. We have bothered it, dreaming ourselves to shapes. The void is filled with slumbers; ten billion on a billion on a billion bombardments of light and material that know not themselves, that sleep moving and move but finally to make an eye and waken on themselves. Among so much that is flight and ignorance, we are the blind force that gropes like Lazarus from a billion-light-year tomb. We summon ourselves. We say, O Lazarus Life Force, truly come ye forth. So the Universe, a motion of deaths, fumbles to reach across Time to feel its own flesh and know it to be ours. We touch both ways and find each other miraculous because we are One.
Ray Bradbury (Bradbury Stories: 100 of His Most Celebrated Tales)
Mr. Shaw fixed his eyes on a star some twenty light-years away. “What are we?” he asked. “Why, we are the miracle of force and matter making itself over into imagination and will. Incredible. The Life Force experimenting with forms. You for one. Me for another. The Universe has shouted itself alive. We are one of the shouts. Creation turns in its abyss. We have bothered it, dreaming ourselves to shapes. The void is filled with slumbers; ten billion on a billion on a billion bombardments of light and material that know not themselves, that sleep moving and move but finally to make an eye and waken on themselves. Among so much that is flight and ignorance, we are the blind force that gropes like Lazarus from a billion-light-year tomb. We summon ourselves. We say, O Lazarus Life Force, truly come ye forth. So the Universe, a motion of deaths, fumbles to reach across Time to feel its own flesh and know it to be ours. We touch both ways and find each other miraculous because we are One.” Mr. Shaw turned to glance at his young friend.
Ray Bradbury (Bradbury Stories: 100 of His Most Celebrated Tales)
He told me that a German doctor named Wolff figured it out in the 1800s by studying X-rays of infants’ hips as they transitioned from crawling to walking. “A whole new evolution of bone structure takes place to support the mechanical loads associated with walking,” said Lang. “Wolff had the great insight that form follows function.” Alas, Wolff did not have the great insight that cancer follows gratuitous X-raying with primitive nineteenth-century X-ray machines.
Mary Roach (Packing for Mars: The Curious Science of Life in the Void)
Staring up at the night sky each star is another world, another point of consciousness we can never know. Each raindrop beading down the window, throbbing with cell-life. And within each cell a single thought, a solitary impulse, the desire to evolve. The desire to live and stare into the void and say: I am more than just a speck of light in the eye of death
U.V. Ray (We Are Glass)
A thousand confused thoughts came to birth in her mind and grew there, as the sunbeams grew without along the wall... Her thoughts were all in keeping with the details of this strange landscape, and the harmonies of her heart blended with the harmonies of nature. When the sun reached an angle of the wall where the “Venus-hair” of southern climes drooped its thick leaves, lit with the changing colors of a pigeon’s breast, celestial rays of hope illumined the future to her eyes, and thenceforth she loved to gaze upon that piece of wall, on its pale flowers, its blue harebells, its wilting herbage, with which she mingled memories as tender as those of childhood. The noise made by each leaf as it fell from its twig in the void of that echoing court gave answer to the secret questionings of the young girl
Honoré de Balzac (Eugénie Grandet)
The hourglass had ruptured Spewing forth the sands of time Burying past in present Leaving future without rhyme The children had stopped crying, Their tears no longer tended They sang sad songs of silence All time had been suspended The howling winds subsided The sun no longer beamed All rays of hope had ended Man had not been redeemed Alone the void had quivered Embracing its despair Sighing with hope Seething with new care The children’s tears were tended The hourglass had mended
Beryl Dov
When it arose in the Mind of the Infinite to create, the Infinite manifested as Endless Light and encompassed All. In the time beyond time, before there was time, in a moment between moments before there was moment, Infinite Being constricted Its own Essence to allow for the emergence of space. Then, within that clearing, void of Itself, Infinite Being manifested a single ray of Its Endless Light, Its Infinite Presence. And from this single ray, the universe came into being. —Sixteenth-century RABBI CHAYYIM VITAL in Etz Ha’Chayyim, Ch. 1
Gershon Winkler (Daily Kabbalah: Wisdom from the Tree of Life)
SHE IN THE OUTER WORLD The world took all her kindness away Left her empty, drained every single ray She was in despair when she disappeared With dry eyes, sore lips, raw hands and scars everywhere. She was too numb to do her care, or to fight with her nightmares Luckily, with her family she stayed They groomed her, armed her with more love and prayers  Finally she stepped out with more power, experience, faith and glare She found her way out of void Faced all those people she wanted to avoid And stood against the scare Because now she was  aware.
Zulaikha Nadeem
If Only We Had Taller Been The fence we walked between the years Did bounce us serene. It was a place half in the sky where In the green of leaf and promising of peach We'd reach our hands to touch and almost touch the sky, If we could reach and touch, we said, 'Twould teach us, not to ,never to, be dead. We ached and almost touched that stuff; Our reach was never quite enough. If only we had taller been, And touched God's cuff, His hem, We would not have to go with them Who've gone before, Who, short as us, stood tall as they could stand And hoped by stretching, tall, that they might keep their land, Their home, their hearth, their flesh and soul. But they, like us, were standing in a hole. O, Thomas, will a Race one day stand really tall Across the Void, across the Universe and all? And, measured out with rocket fire, At last put Adam's finger forth As on the Sistene Ceiling, And God's hand come down the other way To measure man and find him Good, And Gift him with Forever's Day? I work for that. Short man, Large dream, I send my rockets forth between my ears, Hoping an inch of Good is worth a pound of years. Aching to hear a voice cry back along the universal Mall: We've reached Alpha Centauri! We're tall, O God, we're tall!
Ray Bradbury
Just like last year, yes, between the 23rd And 24th of June, when I felt my heart Grow in me and glow, heart in solstice, In maximum expansion of light. All those rays then- I remember I was eating Huge cherries that were almost too sweet- Had a mooring, though distant And uncertain. What ill I invent now For this repeating heart Obeying seasons, Where will I send it now, into what void?
Patrizia Cavalli (My Poems Won't Change the World: Selected Poems (Italian and English Edition))
Before I understand what I am doing, silent words pour out in a torrent of prayer. Oh, how long my spirit has been bound by bitterness. But now, a ray of mercy has pierced the hidden dungeon of my soul. My griefs drain away, and hope fills the void. Words of confession become whispers of praise. As my feet move through the streets of Utsanek, I exchange guilt for forgiveness, resentment for thanksgiving, turmoil for peace.
Andrea Renae (Where Darkness Dwells)
Beauty Void lay the world, in nothingness concealed, Without a trace of light or life revealed, Save one existence which second knew- Unknown the pleasant words of We and You. Then Beauty shone, from stranger glances free, Seen of herself, with naught beside to see, With garments pure of stain, the fairest flower Of virgin loveliness in bridal bower. No combing hand had smoothed a flowing tress, No mirror shown her eyes their loveliness No surma dust those cloudless orbs had known, To the bright rose her cheek no bulbul flown. No heightening hand had decked the rose with green, No patch or spot upon that cheek was seen. No zephyr from her brow had fliched a hair, No eye in thought had seen the splendour there. Her witching snares in solitude she laid, And love's sweet game without a partner played. But when bright Beauty reigns and knows her power She springs indignant from her curtained bower. She scorns seclusion and eludes the guard, And from the window looks if doors be barred. See how the tulip on the mountain grown Soon as the breath of genial Spring has blown, Bursts from the rock, impatient to display Her nascent beauty to the eye of day. When sudden to thy soul reflection brings The precious meaning of mysterious things, Thou canst not drive the thought from out thy brain; Speak, hear thou must, for silence is such pain. So beauty ne'er will quit the urgent claim Whose motive first from heavenly beauty came When from her blessed bower she fondly strayed, And to the world and man her charms displayed. In every mirror then her face was shown, Her praise in every place was heard and known. Touched by her light, the hearts of angels burned, And, like the circling spheres, their heads were turned, While saintly bands, whom purest at the sight of her, And those who bathe them in the ocean sky Cries out enraptured, "Laud to God on high!" Rays of her splendour lit the rose's breast And stirred the bulbul's heart with sweet unrest. From her bright glow its cheek the flambeau fired, And myriad moths around the flame expired. Her glory lent the very sun the ray Which wakes the lotus on the flood to-day. Her loveliness made Laila's face look fair To Majnún, fettered by her every hair. She opened Shírín's sugared lips, and stole From Parvíz' breast and brave Farhád's the soul. Through her his head the Moon of Canaan raised, And fond Zulaikha perished as she gazed. Yes, though she shrinks from earthly lovers' call, Eternal Beauty is the queen of all; In every curtained bower the screen she holds, About each captured heart her bonds enfolds. Through her sweet love the heart its life retains, The soul through love of her its object gains. The heart which maidens' gentle witcheries stir Is, though unconscious, fired with love of her. Refrain from idle speech; mistake no more: She brings her chains and we, her slaves, adore. Fair and approved of Love, thou still must own That gift of beauty comes from her alone. Thou art concealed: she meets all lifted eyes; Thou art the mirror which she beautifies. She is that mirror, if we closely view The truth- the treasure and the treasury too. But thou and I- our serious work is naught; We waste our days unmoved by earnest thought. Cease, or my task will never end, for her Sweet beauties lack a meet interpreter. Then let us still the slaves of love remain For without love we live in vain, in vain. Jámí, "Yúsuf and Zulaikha". trans. Ralph T. H. Griffith. Ballantyne Press 1882. London. p.19-22
Nūr ad-Dīn 'Abd ar-Rahmān Jāmī
I saw the Tracker—but that’s wrong, really. I saw right to where the tracking thing was. I saw those winnowing tentacles come out again, and the front figure pause, and then—it’s the only word that actually describes it—ooze on again on its via dolorosa. And at that the hind figure seemed to summon all its strength. It seemed to open out a fringe of arms or tentacles, a sort of corona of black rays spread out. It gaped with a full expansion, and even I could feel that there was a perfectly horrible attraction, or vacuum drag, being exerted. That was horrible enough, with the face of the super-suffering man now almost under me resonating my own terror. But the worst thing was that, as the tentacles unwrapped and winnowed out toward their prey, I saw they weren’t really tentacles at all. They were spreading cracks, veins, fissures, rents of darkness expanding from a void, a gap of pure blackness. There’s only one way to say it—one was seeing right through the solid world into a gap, an ultimate maelstrom. And from it was spreading out a—I can only call it so—a negative sunrise of black radiation that would deluge and obliterate everything. Of course it was still only a fissure, a vent, but one realized—This is a hole, a widening hole, that has been pierced in the dike that defends the common-sense, sensuous world. Through this vortex-hole that is rapidly opening, over this lip and brink, everything could slip, fall in, find no purchase, be swallowed up. It was like watching a crumbling cliff with survivors clinging to it being undercut and toppling into a black tide that had swallowed up its base. This negative force could drag the solidest things from their base, melt them, engulf the whole hard, visible world. And we were right on that brink. What was after us, for I knew now I was in its field, was not a thing of any passions or desires. Those are limited things, satiable things—in a way, balanced things, and so familiar, safe even, almost friendly in comparison with this. You know the grim saying, “You can give a sop to Cerberus, but not to his Master.” No, this was—that’s the technical term, I found, coined by those who have been up against this and come back alive—this was absolute Deprivation, really insatiable need, need that nothing can satisfy, absolute refusal to give, to yield. It is the second strongest thing in the universe, and, indeed, outside that. It could swallow the whole universe, and the universe would go for nothing, because in that gap the whole universe could fill not a bit of it. It would remain as empty, as gaping, as insatiable as ever, for it is the bottomless pit made by unstanchable Lack.
Gerald Heard (Dromenon: The Best Weird Stories of Gerald Heard)
[the virgin birth account] occurs everywhere. When the Herod figure ( the extreme figure of misgovernment) has brought man to the nadir of spirit, the occult forces of the cycle begin to move. In an inconspicuous village, Mary is born who will maintain herself undefiled by fashionable errors of her generation. Her womb, remaining fallw as the primordial abyss, summons itself by its very readiness the original power that fertilzed the void. Mary's virgin birth story is recounted everywhere. and with such striking unity of the main contours, that early christian missionaries had to think the devil must be creating mockeries of Mary's birth wherever they testified. One missionary reports that after work was begun among Tunja and Sogamozzo South American Indians, "the demon began giving contrary doctrines. The demon sought to discredit Mary's account, declaring it had not yet come to pass; but presently, the sun would bring it to pass by taking flesh in the womb of a virgin in a small village, causing her to conceive by rays of the sun while she yet remained virgin." Hindu mythology tells of the maiden parvati who retreated to the high hills to practice austerities. Taraka had usurped mastery of the world, a tyrant. Prophecy said only a son of the high god Shiva could overthrow him. Shive however was the pattern god of yoga-alone, aloof, meditating. It was impossible Shiva could be moved to beget. Parvati tried changing the world situation by metching Shiva in meditation. Aloof, indrawn in her soul meditating, she fasted naked beneath the blazing sun, even adding to the heat by building four great fires. One day a Brahmin youth arrived and asked why anyone so beautiful should be destroying herself with such torture. "My desire," she said "is Shiva, the Highest. He is the god of solitude and concentration. I therefore imitate his meditation to move him from his balance and bring him to me in love." Shiva, the youth announced, is a god of destruction, shiva is World Annhilator. Snakes are his garlands. The virgin said: He is beyond the mind of such as you. He is terrifying but the source of grace. snake garlands or jewel garlands he can assume or put off at will. Shiva is my love. The youth thereupon put away his disguise-he was Shiva. The Buddha descended from heaven to his mother's womb in the shape of a milk white elephant. The Aztec Coatlicue was approached by a god in the form of a ball of feathers. The chapters of Ovid's Metamorphoses swarm with nymphs beset by gods in sundry masquerades: jove as a bull, a swan, a shower of gold. Any leaf, any nut, or even the breath of a breeze, may be enough to fertilize the ready virgin womb. The procreating power is everywhere. And according to whim or destiny of the hour, either a hero savior or a world--annihilating demon may be conceived-one can never know.
Joseph Campbell
Our galaxy is surrounded by a cloud of about fifty nearby galaxies, known as our Local Group. Foremost among them is the Andromeda Galaxy, a beautiful spiral galaxy, and the only galaxy in our group larger than our own. Gravity is pulling the two toward each other, and in four billion years (before our Sun has died) they will collide and unite. With so much distance between the stars of each galaxy, this collision will do surprisingly little to upset the stars and their planets. Its main effect will be to disrupt the delicate spiral structures of the partners, probably merging into a more uniform elliptical galaxy about three times as large. Eventually (in hundreds of billions of years) all the other galaxies in our group will have merged in too, forming a single giant galaxy.28 Zooming further out, we see many more groups of galaxies, some with as many as a thousand members.29 Eventually these groups resolve into a larger structure: the cosmic web—long, thick threads of galaxies, called filaments. These filaments criss-cross space in a kind of three-dimensional network, as if someone took a random set of points in space and connected each to its nearest handful of neighbors. Where the filaments intersect, space is bright and rich with galaxies.30 Between such filaments are dark and empty expanses, known as cosmic voids. As far as we can tell, this cosmic web continues indefinitely. At the very least, it continues as far as we can see or go. It is these final limits on our knowledge and action that appear to set the ultimate scale in our universe. We have known for almost a century that our universe is expanding, pulling the groups of galaxies apart. And twenty years ago we discovered that this expansion is accelerating. Cosmologists believe this puts a hard limit on what we will ever be able to observe or affect.31 We can currently see a sphere around us extending out 46 billion light years in all directions, known as the observable universe. Light from galaxies beyond this sphere hasn’t yet had time to reach us.32 Next year we will see a little further. The observable universe will increase in radius by a single light year, and about 25 more galaxies will come into view. But on our leading cosmological theory, the rate at which new galaxies become visible will decline, and those currently more than 63 billion light years away will never become visible from the Earth. We could call the region within this distance the eventually observable universe.33 But much more importantly, accelerating expansion also puts a limit on what we can ever affect. If, today, you shine a ray of light out into space, it could reach any galaxy that is currently less than 16 billion light years away. But galaxies further than this are being pulled away so quickly that neither light, nor anything else we might send, could ever affect them.34
Toby Ord (The Precipice: Existential Risk and the Future of Humanity)
Any Day Wiped clean by times stumbling gate Reflecting toward my inner hate I see sweet life spring anew I touch a birth with what I do As the dawn's warming rays Melt morning's beguiling haze I realize the truth of lies A new year's hope with spirit flies I wake the same as every day I speak the words I always say I see the sky the same again And now know change comes only when A choice is made in spite of time A goal is set without a chime Choice renders void the voice To hearken in a New Year's choice
Roberto Vecchi (Dragon Within: Redemption)
My mind played with my thoughts back and forth for a moment. Why was I here? What was I yearning for and lacking? The deep void of unsettled desires stirred with me and rippled over my body with tingling uncertainty. Could Prohuman Inc or perhaps even Ray Raskal fulfill them?
Jill Thrussell (ProHuman Inc (Prohuman Inc #1))
In the Akira Sunyata chakra, you embrace the balance of Akira's lighted clarity and Sunyata's emptiness for new creation; within the void and light lies the potential for infinite creation.
Amit Ray (Ray 114 Chakra System Names, Locations and Functions)
I have lived a lifetime in death–a cold existence in an endless void. Never feeling. Never knowing the warmth of touch. Every unfulfilling breath a suffocating reminder of how hollow I’d become. It wasn’t until you came along and cast the first ray of light that I felt a pulse of life. A pull that I couldn’t resist.
Keri Lake (Nocticadia)
Peace is at the heart of all because Avalokiteśvara–Kwan Yin, the mighty Bodhisattva, Boundless Love, includes, regards, and dwells within (without exception) every sentient being. The perfection of the delicate wings of an insect, broken in the passage of time, he regards — and he himself is both their perfection and their disintegration. The perennial agony of man, self-torturing, deluded, tangled in the net of his own tenuous delirium, frustrated, yet having within himself, undiscovered, absolutely unutilized, the secret of release: this too he regards — and is. Serene above man, the angels; below man, the demons and unhappy dead: these all are drawn to the Bodhisattva by the rays of his jewel hands, and they are he, as he is they. The bounded, shackled centers of consciousness, myriad-fold, on every plane of existence (not only in this present universe, limited by the Milky Way, but beyond, into the reaches of space), galaxy beyond galaxy, world beyond world of universes, coming into being out of the timeless pool of the void, bursting into life, and like a bubble therewith vanishing: time and time again: lives by the multitude: all suffering: each bounded in the tenuous, tight circle of itself — lashing, killing, hating, and desiring peace beyond victory: these all are the children, the mad figures of the transitory yet inexhaustible, long world dream of the All-Regarding, whose essence is the essence of Emptiness: “The Lord Looking Down in Pity.” But the name means also: “The Lord Who Is Seen Within.”* We are all reflexes of the image of the Bodhisattva. The sufferer within us is that divine being. We and that protecting father are one. This is the redeeming insight. That protecting father is every man we meet. And so it must be known that, though this ignorant, limited, self-defending, suffering body may regard itself as threatened by some other — the enemy — that one too is the God. The ogre breaks us, but the hero, the fit candidate, undergoes the initiation “like a man”; and behold, it was the father: we in Him and He in us.[
Joseph Campbell (The Hero with a Thousand Faces (The Collected Works of Joseph Campbell))
…Corswain saw the daemon. How he had not before was not fathomable. There at the heart of the chamber, in the void between all the platforms and apparatus, burned a sun. It was golden, rayed, its light the light of a new day on gently rolling waves. He looked at it and felt the heaviness of his thoughts fall away. The burdens of will and command, of certain death and hopeless struggle, vanishing. He had never realised he was carrying so much, that he had borne the weight of existence on his shoulders. It was gone now. He was free. He was the master of his universe. From here, only what he desired and willed would exist. ‘
John French (Mortis: The Horus Heresy - Siege of Terra (The Horus Heresy: Siege of Terra 5) (German Edition))
No,” Ruhn was saying, over and over. “No, no—” But Hunt heard nothing. Felt nothing. It had all crumbled inside him the moment she’d hung up. Bryce leapt the fence around the Gate and halted before its towering archway. Before the terrible black void within it. A faint white radiance began to glow around her. “What is that?” Fury whispered. It flickered, growing brighter in the night. Enough to illuminate her slender hands cupping a sparkling, pulsing light before her chest. The light was coming from her chest—had been pulled from inside it. Like it had dwelled inside her all along. Bryce’s eyes were closed, her face serene. Her hair drifted above her head. Bits of debris floated up around her, too. As if gravity had ceased to exist. The light she held was so stark it cast the rest of the world into grays and blacks. Slowly, her eyes opened, amber blazing like the first pure rays of dawn. A soft, secret smile graced her mouth. Her eyes lifted to the Gate looming above her. The light between her hands grew stronger. Ruhn fell to his knees. “I am Bryce Quinlan,” she said to the Gate, to the void, to all of Hel behind it. Her voice was serene—wise and laughing. “Heir to the Starborn Fae.” The ground slid out from under Hunt as the light between her hands, the star she’d drawn from her shattered heart, flared as bright as the sun.
Sarah J. Maas (House of Earth and Blood (Crescent City, #1))
Our failing physical health is a reflection of our unresolved deeper emotional status through a disruption in the normal functioning of the autonomic nervous system. "Removal of the infant from the mother immediately after birth…to perform the usual rituals…does result in separation and actually traumatizes the infant in the process. Trauma is basically in its purest form disregulation, (meaning) an interruption in the normal smooth regulatory patterns of autonomic cycling which we call homeostasis: optimal state of regulatory function within the brain and body, and that’s what’s disrupted because the part of the brain that develops and grows with attunement regulates that autonomic cycle and that brain does not develop as well if one doesn’t have the early experience of attunement and bonding." — Robert Scaer, MD, The Body Bears the Burden Attunement is a responsive, harmonious relationship. The lack of immediate connection, or attunement, especially with mother—beginning at birth—ignites a lifetime of longing to be reconnected, causing various sorts of autonomic irregularities, depression, and anxiety. Many TMS sufferers report they never bonded with their mother or father, leading to a lifetime of emptiness filled with continuous self-punishment. The father’s role comes along a little later, but is just as critical in the emotional development process that feeds the child what it needs for harmony and balance. Without these connections comes a deep void that is often filled with drugs, depression, anxiety, violence, perfection, and of course TMS. That person who brings tears to your eyes when you reflect back in your life is the one you never made a connection with—and deeply longed to. Early Separation = Fear = Anger = Energy =Autonomic Disregulation ARISING SIMULTANEOUSLY
Steven Ray Ozanich (The Great Pain Deception: Faulty Medical Advice Is Making Us Worse)
The bird hopped till it reached the very end of the ray of sunlight filtering through the veranda's leaves. It was happy that no human beings dwelt in the ancient old home, so it could bathe in its favorite sunshine all day long.
Siddhartha Sur (The Void Within)
Your wish, my command.’ Marcel sprawled on the couch while I started the movie, fast-forwarding through the opening credits. When I perched on the edge of the sofa in front of him, he wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me against his chest. It wasn't exactly as comfortable as a sofa cushion would be, what with his chest being hard and cold-and perfect-as an ice sculpture, but it was preferable. He pulled the old afghan off the back of the couch and draped it over me, so I wouldn't freeze beside his body. ‘You know, I've never had much patience with Romeo,’ he commented as the movie started. ‘What's wrong with Romeo?’ I asked, a little offended. Romeo was one of my favorite fictional characters. Until I'd met Marcel, I'd had a thing for him. ‘Well, first, he's in love with this Rosaline-don't you think it makes him seem a little fickle? And then, a few minutes after their wedding, he kills Juliet's cousin. That's not very brilliant. Mistake after mistake. Could he have destroyed his happiness any more thoroughly?’ I sighed. ‘Do you want me to watch this alone?’ ‘No, I'll mostly be watching you, anyway.’ His fingers traced patterns across the skin of my arm, raising goosebumps. ‘Will you cry?’ ‘Probably,’ I admitted, ‘if I'm paying attention.’ ‘I won't distract you then.’ But I felt his lips on my hair, and it was very distracting. The movie eventually captured my interest, thanks in large part to Marcel whispering Romeo's lines in my ear-his irresistible, velvet voice made the actor's voice sound week and coarse by comparison. And I did cry, to his amusement, when Juliet woke and found her new husband dead. ‘I'll admit, I do sort of envy him here, ‘Marcel said, drying the tears with a lock of my hair.
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
New start beholding- -Breath through me, I feel double. Nevaeh- Hey it good to talk to you again- I said, I would be back, yet I never thought I would meet my grandbaby’s up here, and not down there with you all. She is a wild one, kind of like I was at her age, if you flip some pages back, and read between the lines you’ll see me there. Jaylynn- which possesses all of us, to take crap to give a crap or have crap, or just crap it out? I have inquiries- So, it's its natural surroundings that push us, it’s like a house of horrors and its many faiths- that is sarcasm to my life. Freak nurture, freak the universe in the ass with a two by four. The people give nothing and trust like the AL-mighty is a thing of the past yet that fine with me, ass holes. Yet I love you just so you know, I love everyone, ago crap- on. There are more depths made than saved, no lives in this city that have a clear understanding of what they are doing.
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
I want to see me have everything I want to see, I would like to read more pages, and see, some that I need to see I just want to remember me and find out about them, in addition to the one that I need to love, and I see that I had it and give it up. Yet I have to pick the right one- I see, and that is so… me… I don’t get what I need, or realized what I had, with them. I don’t know if it is the childhood boy or the sweet girl that plays with me that I need the most. Love is a hex, of not knowing what to love more. Just like the general public will come and go. Falling to someone shall stay.
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
I have to choose at some point, don’t I? Look here- The pages will turn; the chapters will open and close, as I, myself own a book of life, ha- I think I read my own story without ever knowing, yet Liv did that why she read it in front of me to see if I would see the way, to my own life. Some of the text, which was written, will fade away, and a broken heart will mend.
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
Maggie- Two week’s letter I have completely fallen in love! I changed schools, to be so the girls would not rip us apart, and say crap in the halls, yet when we get off the clock it’s on. He here to pick me up, and I go to his place, and we hang out, and do the touching, feeling, kissing things, that I always water yet never had. I LOVE HIM! Yet how do I get rid of her, come over afterward, just to make sure I am okay, it like she has known idea I have a boyfriend now, she gets lost in me and my eyes, I see it he does the same, Karly want me, yet I just want to be friends at this point, yet I don’t want to be mean she was always there for me, know what in the world do I do to say back off. She said she feels me? Okay- if you say so- I felt her then not so much now. I hope she is okay- she has been through more than I have.
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
Having it hairy would keep a boy away wouldn’t it, maybe that is why she did it, so she would say it for the one that would not mind it, and for that show, he loves everything about her, regardless. Aylden Moya- leave her alone you make her feel uncomfortable. The sex in bed in the morning, and at night and when we feel is right, it is out of sight! Karly- are you kidding me she was mine first- are you saying- that I made you feel like your skin was crawling? Uncomfortable this is what it means- scratchy, painful, tight, and sore, or rough, uncomfortable- bumpy, itchy, and lastly- prickly. Is that insulting or what? Uncomfortable, like sticking your d*ick in the pencil sharpener, it just feels good, doesn’t it? Karly- It was said- Miss. Gibson when he first saw Maggie when she was five, he did not know how he felt. The feelings of being overjoyed led to the feelings of being horrified at what he was seeing, she had a smashed cut up wrist and boobs and nipples, and her hair all cut off, she was speechless for some years after, she was discovered, standing there in her underwire, you can see there are going up are butt cheeks. They look like she was picked up by them, by someone mean ripping hands. Miss. Gibson was not Maggie’s actual mom; awe- she is a horrible mature creature. Just a nasty piece of crap.
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
I walked into my sis’s room… and saw nothing but her ass and spread open p*ssy she is on her knees, on her little bed, with bubbly little mermaid bedding, look at that her butt is shown pointing towards the door, got yah- I see lots of her… and so will my friends… if I send this to them. Payback sister- the wetness running out of her, let's put it that way. I think you know what that crap is. I have to prove I am not a complete p*ssy, and will not put up with my little sister getting more than me, like taking my men. Seeing this Maddie and Liv say- her but was like in our faces, I knew it would be set to more girls, yet I did not have the heart to. That was up to my friends to see if they were real friends. You can see and hear sighing in her Arial-themed room to every inward and outward stroke. I even see her rubbing it in rotating patterns, with her fingers also, into it. Uh-ah, uh-huh- Oh-Oo-a, ow- yeah, she feels everything deep I will say that for her. Man, she can bend it in, she has known I have this all on my cell, and I am looking in at her, the door not closed. Look at her next to her stuffed dog, she is rubbing it also on her vagina Maddie said I can send this to her seven, and so did Olivia. If Jenny was here, what do you think she would have done with this video? (Hall discussions at lockers number 94 and 96.) I would if she sent this to anyone else, if so, that is not nice. Locker 95 is now sitting as it was, but with like a drop-off of flowers and bars, and photos stuck on the door for her memory. Girls kissing the door, and boys, it is nuts, you don’t want to see what's inside there, it's freaky. Olivia- I wonder if we could get our lockers changed. It was nice then when we all wanted to be together, now not so much, this turns me so off. Did you see that Maggie is getting a life now that she is gone? Olivia- Yes, yes, I did, I wonder if Jenny was the one doing that too. Maddie- she liked her so I say know. Liv- may be…? Maddie- Do you miss her? Liv- Not always- yet she pops into my mind once in a while. Karly about the video (not with the girls, alone.) I showed her one, and now she seems to have it- good for her. I think she does it better than me, b*tch- is what the girls well think too I just know it, I love her, look you can see her face in the pillow, cute right, arched back, putting her two fingers in and out, and I forget how old she, yet see this crap, she looks like a professional, my girls will get it.
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
(TSS) is a Teacher Support Specialists, a d*ick of a person, just to be there so you are not a danger to yourself or others. Look at her there just popping gum, sighing yet she cannot, do not blink do not even think. flapping their mouth saying nothing logically, here what she wants to hear, making you fear every little move you make; you can’t make a mistake or be a kid at this point under the light. She is tapping her pencil, documenting it all for your life to go to hell. You- epic FAIL now! Like get real this girl would not hurt anyone, if anything she is getting hurt yet they all just look away, now it is my time to say, she is okay. Back- OFF!
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
Eat- Yō Sandwich (Lunch) It is a foot long; Ha- better than six inches, said Maddie. Karly- Suck on your meatballs… ‘You should know you’ve done both.’ Some girl down the table- said. Let’s talk about books, said Olivia. God just shot me in the head, so I can die, ha- hey see the sped? Nice- book’s- Maddie- ha! Karly- I think movies like Twilight freaking suck, (Throwing both middle fingers in the air making a skilling face.) The sporting actress made fame, what it is. Look at her and the look at that, what is- that, I love Anna Kendrick? Teach walking by saying that a mother-week Barns. Liv- I think she would have made a better Bella, than the girl with no personality, yet that’s the book I read that thing and it was painful. I guess that my assignment in life is over my Karly kiss my ass where it is brown and holy! And that another one, sure it is… Suck my clit. No! Yes, you want to! (Sexy eyes) That's it- you're expelled- Good now I can party and have some fun sleeping and not doing this crap, so you're going to punish me by not being here, freak yeah! The towing sickness of a teacher whose name is Mr. Abdèlaziz Okay smart-ie, in-school suspension, then right. Karly- Freaking-, ho-bag, psycho, b*tch, p*ssy-tart- cunt! Under her breath. (She gets taken out by her hair, by the officer what’s his name, roughly, I might add.) Like who paints a room all black, and faces the desks at the wall, where you could only piss two times… no air to speak of and some fat ass smelling like crap farting up and down the five by thirdly long skinny room, next to you is what… I got six out of seven freaking hours, all week I might add. ~*~ (Flashback) I love bands that are not cool so what do you do here? Freak yeah, at least I made it as one of our dumb ho’s… in a short skirt that shows nothing under it, to think I made it, wow good to think… you think I am good enough to be the same look, and size or whatever, yet you can’t say the N-word or a knotty little swore ward… Yet- yet- teachers can call me every name you can think of… in the urban book of crap, like I cannot even wear a tank… without a bra in the halls, yet, this girl can… do you see all the bouncing, and nipples pointing, at you, I sure do?
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
Love is what I had (I was ten) Holy, mother of god, we are in the shower together he bubbled up yet not covered up, and back down will it around until I would come, I got some just call me, he was just enjoying me being cute, he washed my hair and played with my body, like my boobs feeling the and rubbing, suck, and kissing them, flicking with his fingers and others, HOT steamy water pouring on our head, as we were hugging it out, and do it all. Rubbing my legs and crap- I say freak, yeah, but I don’t swear like that! I fasten the garter around his hip's legs side to side around his hips, and as I am arching my back to slip the silk stocking off my toes, I unclasped my bar for him to see them fall, as we go to bed for the night, we were body unstop of body, and we even had our toes laced, together on one foot, like our hands. I have to bite my lip to stop my impatient moan from escaping, yet it all comes out of me. Scorching flush rivalries over my skin, my face hot and red that down there pink feeling has a handprint on my body. My figure is shaking with shock at the news of us doing this tonight at this age. A baby they say I show them? No freaking way, no way should I be doing this yet they will never- ever no, NO WAY!!! Unserviceable my awareness is tiresome to grasp this staggering bit of data. Of why… Like a small child gets out and the woman is here to say, I’m downhearted, helplessly trying to fit everything together in my mind, like I should some time you have to say what the hell and go with it and piss on them. My inner goddess is quickly losing my virginity, the light in the room fading recklessly as I see it all there looking at it deeply, but I can’t settle on that now. I am not sure we're ready for all of this just yet. Gritty again I feel as I work my way in, I scan the room for anything I might have elapsed to say when my eyes fall on my ribbons on the wall. I would say anything to make him think about not going in so fast, yet I want it all. The blinking to every downward moment, seeing it all so fast, what to do, it was hard, not slow and good, I don’t remember it all.
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
My heart liquefies instantly as the memory recalls to me in flashing of the day, away it goes- yet will it stay, out of my control, your selfishness, I want here nothing more, yet that what I think about him at this point to it all about getting it in me even on the band bus we try crap, that feels good. Jealousy is what to stop it yet they went. It- he or the girls what to pick, you know what I did.
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
My hair flips over my shoulders, and boobs hiding them some of my shy blush faces I remember it all, now A compounding ache nails at my fragile body into my young heart, and more cries drop onto my shirt and through me. ‘I’m still only yours.’ I scream in class as I run out the door looking for him, yet here am I, at this point, I don’t know. This is not my school and those girls are not my girls. I may be dreaming this yet I do not, I feel it all! Uniform though it’s a low-slung, protected whisper, it sounds loud in my ears, I hear the call-out within me, and it was him, yet through me, I never stopped loving him and only him. I want him to know that leaving him left me as broken as he still seems to be, even if I feel as if I have died every day, we have been apart. (Night in his room) Discovering everything with my fingers. But he’s not here I think yearningly. I run my hands over my boob, I do it all the same as always, pausing to feel the erect nipples under my timid, I softly circle my razed hands and then flat fingers over the hills that are the only mine, and touch the beautiful scratchiness within me like when he unzips me down there and blows on my belly and mon into it with every feeling. I pinch the strain that I have down there asking if it’s all good, ‘I don’t mind, he said.’ Like he was with my hair coming all around me and my body at that time it was down past my ass. Steadfastly, between my thumb and forefinger he plays with me and my hair and hands, the sweet biting and scratching as we do a thing in bed, a silent cry I might make for being happy, it makes me want more… and more what can I say I am a teen girl. Courageous now I slip my right hand into my sleep shorts, where I instantly, join with his body for sex. I never thought about anything, not even a condom, he can pull out. With my eyes shut I evoke his touch, running through me like come out of me, and whipping it with my undies that he keeps, my finger plummeting on his chest, when we ride for it, them into him sucking off slick and wet desiring as he having sex with me onto. With my hot breath, I can almost feel his teeth on my lady's lip, sucking my clit, my jaw, and his on my lid skin, the same with him. The other hand is working my left nipple and boob, massaging like his fingers down below, and squeezing them and there and shaking it some too, nerve-wracking my tender nipple, at this point from all the suckage.
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
Emotions Dreams I feel like my skin is crawling with viruses when it is on my figure. It’s mid-November and I am standing in the rain, as I run out the door it is, so cold, so lonely, and so freaking loveless! As I found my way back to him, I left behind oh so long ago. Up till now this is not habitual for me, I am always naked around my house, yet this is not a home at all, I don’t know what you call this place, it’s like a school however not so. I have my reason you’ll see, not to say too much, I have someone looking down at me with the eyes and the face and crap. The rain is falling on me, eyes and ears, and boys and girls all like knives inside me, never since the moment I got off the damn bus so it could just run my ass over and get it over with. The rain is matting my long brown hair on me as it lies on down my rump, just like a movie just like the books. Just like me living it, like her. Some of this shower is cascading off my little face, and it slowly collects on my breasts, where it beads up and separates into two different watercourses down to my belly button. I eyeball it, as it goes all the way down the front of me. Yet I am okay with it… at last, I am free. To a fact! I still feel so shut in by all of them. Ten or twenty-five or three minutes have passed, I am still in a similar varied advertisement. ‘Girly portion.’ Almost like a waterfall gushing in-between my legs. It trickles down to me to where it turns and goes in my butt cheeks, falling too and thrashing my mud exposed toes. After standing so long, holding me upright, weekly my legs so not right give out. Just letting water follow me down. I'm soaked! Soft thump, sooner or later the pounding gets rains resilient. Making me fall to the ground with where I will remain until I feel that I can get up and over what has happened to me. I can feel the wetness as it lingers in my hair for a while, so unforgivably waterlogged my body even more. That’s if I can… like if I can accept it all. It’s all because of them! Counting my sanctification, I feel dissatisfied in a way when I do feel it releasing offends my hair. Like it is wiping away everything that happened to me today, away from the day of the past. I feel the dropping rain weeping for me, like hell’s tears of pain and flam it runs out of me as I yell out for his safety in a call of his name.
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
(Back to our halls) Like a dumb ass I went to college, (assuming I pass all my boards. Senior year is almost over, and the calculation is the final test I will take. For the past four months, I’ve had all my various board exams-math, science, oral magic, and written proficiency, sociology and psychology, and photography (a specialty elective)-and I must be getting my scores one-time in the next few weeks ago it was not long ago or so it seems to me. Solitary of them will become my husband after I graduate, girls who don’t pass get paired and married right out of high school.) The evaluators will do their best to match me with people who received a similar score in the evaluations. As much as possible they try to avoid any huge disparities in intelligence, temperament, social background, and age. Of development you do hear occasional horror stories: cases, where a poor seventeen-year-old girl is given to a wealthy old man, is the delirium dream, which is dumb, dumb, dumb. The stairs let out their awful moaning, Jenny, appears before me. She is nine and tall for her age, but very thin: all angles and elbows, her chest caving in like a warped sheet pan. It’s terrible to say, but I don’t like her very much. She has the same pinched look as her mother did. The assessment is the last step, so I can get paired, paid, and laid, in the coming months, the evaluators will send me a list of four or five approved matches.
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
Hey, all and sundry, let’s put her in a clandestine before the teacher comes!’ The NIGHT TRAIN like long memorials dashing toward me a white line in the front red in the back on the up first of seven uppers. Soaring, gravity-defying OFFICE BUILDINGS dominate the skyline. Older buildings wedged among the new. All are protected by huge glass and steel shields. As we get closer congested roads and freeways begin to disappear below ground into a series of subterranean tunnels. The oldie highways have become titanic, voluminous arcades. An elevator opens with a hiss steps out into a flavorless passageway.
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
She began to cry, looking at it. What is she to me? Except for a hazard, a danger, you’ve chosen to inflict on all of us. They glanced quietly at the sun. ‘Oh. Oh. And OH!’ A few cold drops fell on their noses and their cheeks and their mouths. The sun faded behind a stir of mist. His voice is nearly noiseless. He turned to look at me with a wistful manifestation. The wonderful eyes held mine, and I lost my train of belief. I stared at him until he looked away. ‘You haven’t asked me, with a wind blowing cold around them. Are you still fainting from the run? Or was it my kissing expertise? They turned and started to walk back toward the anti-establishment house, their hands at their sides, their smiles vanishing away. Lightning struck… A flourishing of thunder startled them and like leaves before a new hurricane, they stumbled upon each other and ran. Ten miles away, five miles away, a mile, a half-mile. The sky darkened into midnight in a flash. They stood in the doorway of the underground for a moment until it was raining hard. Then they closed the door and heard the gigantic sound of the rain falling in heaps and falls, everywhere and forever. ‘Will it be seven more years, till?’ ‘Yes. Seven.’ Then one of them gave a little cry.’ You- her- she- Karly! ‘What?’ ‘She’s still in the closet where we locked her.’ They stood as if someone had driven them, like so many stakes, into the floor. They observed each other and then beheld and looked away. They could not encounter each other’s glimpses. They glanced out at the world that was raining now and drizzling and raining progressively. IT’S ALL RUNNING OUT OF ME! It’s a -Full moon… I FELT LIKE I WAS IMPRISONED IN ONE OF THOSE CHILLING… hallucinations, the one where you have to run, trip until my lungs would surely burst to my heartbeat, but you can't make your body move fast enough nor your breath to your heart. Holding it all in… My legs seemed to move sluggish, leisure-liner and dawdling as I crashed my way finished the callous horde, but the hands-on the huge timepiece of the tower didn't slow me the way. With unyielding, heartless strength, they turned inescapably in the direction of the termination of the whole thing.
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
(Lager fire) The penlights and the bonfire only illumined the beach on a school night trip out of town and a few feet of the pitch-black dark water, with the big full twilight moon, and the faces of the people who had jumped, still nodding in the aquatic, glorious, too contented to feel the cold, taunting the other competitors. The gun was just the goes between the legs. It was the loneliness that got me in the end, like the knife, Jenny fake die to get boys to kiss her, the topmost of the ridge was a shaggy mass of black, where the trees, cove, where encroaching on the black rock, on a pink and orange backdrop, where the rock was getting slowly pulled into the on the city far away, one or the other. But Maggie knew who they were, and she wanted all me in the water, yet the plan was to be with him full about what a girl to do? All the competitors had to announce themselves once they reached the top of the ridge, and then, this year’s sportscaster, white wood roller-coaster bulb lights reflection of the waves, three or more kids had yet to jump: Marcel being one.
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
I didn't have to look to know who it was; this was a voice, I would know anywhere- know, and retort to, whether even though I was always electrified to see him- mindful or otherwise-and even though I was almost positive that I was dreaming, I lose your nerve as Marcel walked toward us through the conspicuous sunlight. I freak out because dad didn't be acquainted with, that I was in love with an angel- nobody knew that- so how was I personally, hypothetical to give details the fact that the wonderful sunbeams were shattering off his skin into a thousand polychromatic ruins like he was made of diamond or crystal-like in the rain?
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
The story energies that one day; he had on ring out and she came to the door to see a man holding her up by her underwear saying take her she is going to be euthanized. That is what they do this day just look at the train rushing by, there is no love, just death. Just think in a few years’ cars should be flying in the air, look at the buildings now, so modern and space-ie. She was only ten years old at the time. Why did we all think she was slow, it was for she didn’t say much at all, back in middle school… she looked up at her and said- help me, and that is what she did. Mss. Gibson was nasty to everyone, but she is caring for her girl he named Maggie, so for that, it was too far, in that she would not let her go on her own and do the thing, and like any teen, she rebelled and lost her car over it, and she said okay smart ass, know you can walk to school, I said you couldn’t drive. She bought the car herself and started going out to agent her mother’s wishes.
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
My hearts are fragile, things around me are all the same. That’s why you have to be so vigilant, it will be hot today, I can tell, it’s already hot in the chamber, and when I crack the window to sweep out the smell of orange which is death, the air outside feels as thick and heavy as an idiom.
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
Jenny… I said over and over, it was maybe today. The wind: Follower, Adherent, and the Champion. It’s only slightly better than the other expression that followed me for eons after her death, a serpent hiss and it kisses, undulating, leaving its trail of poison: Suicide. A sideways word, a word that individuals whisper and mutter and cough: a word that must be squeezed out behind cupped palms or murmured behind closed doors. Honestly, I’ve never even talked to a boy for longer than five minutes, Wal-Mart, and is always picking his nose and wiping his nose on the underside of the sweet potato. All and sundry espouse as soon as they are finished with their tutoring. It’s the way things are. The mark of a Vigorous society.’ And if I don’t pass my boards-please God, please God, let me pass them- I’ll have my wedding as soon as I’m cured, in less than three months. Her voice has always reminded me of birds flying droning flatly in the heat. ‘Don’t be irresponsible,’ Karly would say, but underprivileged of blocking. ‘Bridal is Order and Stability, I take my towel from the bin and straighten up. That name- espouse- makes my mouth go dry. ‘You know she can’t say ‘I do’ until she’s healed.’ But the thought of it still makes my heart flutter frantically, like an insect behind glass. I’ve never touched a boy, of course, physical contact between uncured of the opposite sex is forbidden.
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
MY footpaths, hollowing through the sky rises, which I am now going into out of death. MY stops at a set of DISPARATE DOORS. Looks over at one, when the other suddenly OPENS with a command. AS yours truly TIMEPIECE THE SCREENS to see the news around the world all the same. The elevator opens and CLINICIAN phases into the metal corridor. In countless VIEWPOINTS. High, low, close-up, wide.
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
All facts are not known to be composed but tight and young to a point. Death is nearing me, I feel that I see that, they want that. ME- watches the doors open to admit me in the rush upwards. The doors slide closed behind him. Then a muffled red laser-ROUND like an endless machine gun I hear a kid yells out. I walk and not look, as they tumble down in a lined-up row, all death no reason. Turns back to the screens. YOU- I gave you an order... you the order not to kill her I ran to the desk, of the hands that run the government, robotics departments. ‘Yes- we hear your cries out for help yet that rain the math that we can, or you don’t have.’ FREAK YOU! She has by the tie, I don’t see kill your life, that you don’t even understand, I think we can see more than enough looking over the wall screens, at the wastes. You killed my baby girl off- Kantilla! The Robot did not us, she was one point away from life, pushed back towards the door. The gun on my back- go or die. Killer robots, not of the laws, I never thought it possible. Shaking in its hand, I see as mothers cry. Happy for the clean-up as they say. Bodies burnt in a large firebox in the mid-city, see the black smoke for kilometers. Mass graves are wanted and have been in place now, it’s all the same no name to be remembered by, just a large hologram in the full finger, saying lines- as I love you, on your wrist is not life to me or having them here. I am desperate and unclear, and incompatible. She touches the WALL PANEL making her way back to her appearance in the high rise, without her young life. The doors slide open. The Robot, said I am sorry for your loss today, ‘Anything I can do,’ as she goes and weeps, ‘Yeah, FREAK OFF!
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
My self-esteem undoes at the understanding that it’s where I want to be. As tight as I can I gripped back, keen to take the soothing balm his hold proposals for my ravaged soul and his? Nothing can hold back the break of awesome feelings. Submerged like water running down on me with a feeling, I weep- my broken heart out against his firm familiar chest, yes, I cried the first time all girls do! A strangled moan escapes him. ‘Oh, Karly!’ He closes his eyes, creasing them up as he struggles with some internal mêlée. When they open, I see a flicker of resolution before his strong arms wrap around me with such a hold down on me… like a drowning me in, so I don’t go under. He crushes me against his length, his agitated heat almost scorching hot in his body heat.
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
Affirmative- I terror being in the outside realm of things.’ Just as it said- I would be after seeing the forbidden. Magical- Cards of wisdom and blue crystals in my hand, I look for something to show the way to the land of no pain. ‘I look to the skies to save me, looking for the sine of life, to make my way back home, I better learn to fly- fly! See the stars, as they go around my head? I am going to: burn out bright! I think that if I could be left alone, with the one that I want… I could have a life- you know what I am sure of it. I fear that the towering entity will never collapse, and the demons will keep playing in my head. I fear that I will never have a social ability, to be part of the nobility of compatibility. I fear what society has done to me. I fear that I have no trust in anyone or anything. I fear that my life has no meaning. I fear that I will never get out of this hell. I just want to start my life, and get a degree in music someday from IUP, if I can make it through all of this. I do not think that is too much to ask for, is it? I am 100 pounds, really tiny; surely there is someone that would find me attractive? I wonder if I can find someone who can think for themselves. I want someone who will love me, for who I am- and not what they want me to be. Most importantly, I need someone that will not use me. Is that too much to ask for? Fear! Anxiety is something that I have inside, it is the source of the things which lead to distress. Not finding someone that loves me, for who I am, is one of my fears. I fear not having a family by my side at all times. I have tears about the overwhelming struggle to rebuild my reputation, which has been destroyed. I ask this question, if I was to die tomorrow would anybody come to my wake, to see me lying there?
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
SpongeBob is my hero!
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
Maggie!!! SUNDAY, JUNE 24th Marcel! TUESDAY, JUNE 29th Maggie! FRIDAY, JULY 19th. Marcel! Maggie!! SATURDAY, JULY 20th. All of them inside me. MONDAY, JULY 14th. I want to go back and feel over. Marcel! Maggie!!! Jenny and friends FRIDAY, JULY 15th. Maggie! Marcel!! SATURDAY, JULY 17th. Maggie… then him… MONDAY, JULY 21st. Marcel, yes, please! WEDNESDAY, or Friday the 13th Maggie! Under me. Sexy WEDNESDAY, JULY 20th Maggie, Maggie, and Maggie! WEDNESDAY, JULY 27th. Marcel, I am in his back seat. FRIDAY, JULY 29th. Marcel! I see it all in my face. Maggie, yet I see this butt too he-he!
Marcel Ray Duriez (Nevaeh A Void She Cannot Feel)
Be the star that shines over the void Of our diminution and kindles a new flame, Be the spark that awakens a dormant human; Be a new ray of the old sound – (our) rekindled hope.
Dejan Stojanovic (OZAR (THE WORLD IN NOWHERENESS Book 1))