Upscale Lifestyle Quotes

Consider these traditional theories of domestic abuse: - Learned helplessness suggest that abused women learn to become helpless under abusive conditions; they are powerless to extricate themselves from such relationships and/or unable to make adaptive choices - The cycle of violence describes a pattern that includes a contrition or honeymoon phase. The abusive husband becomes contrite and apologetic after a violent episode, making concerted efforts to get back in his wife’s good graces. - Traumatic bonding attempts to explain the inexplicable bond that is formed between a woman and her abusive partner - The theory of past reenactments posits that women in abusive relationships are reliving unconscious feelings from early childhood scenarios. My research results and experience with patients do not conform to these concepts. I have found that the upscale abused wife is not a victim of learned helplessness. Rather, she makes specific decisions along the path to be involved in the abusive marriage, including silent strategizing as she chooses to stay or leave the marriage. Nor does the upscale abused wife experience the classic cycle of violence, replete with the honeymoon stage, in which the husband courts his wife to seek her forgiveness. As in the case of Sally and Ray, the man of means actually does little to seek his wife’s forgiveness after a violent episode. Further, the upscale abused wife voices more attachment to her lifestyle than the traumatic bonding with her abusive mate. And very few of the abused women I have met over the years experienced abuse in their childhoods or witnessed it between their parents. In fact, it is this lack of experience with violence, rage, and abuse that makes this woman even more overwhelmed and unclear about how to cope with something so alien to her and the people in her universe.

Mr. Friend never really enjoys his life. He owns a lot of upscale things, yet he works so hard and for so many hours during a typical day that he has no time to enjoy them. He has no time for his family, either. He leaves his house each day before dawn and rarely returns home in time for dinner. Would you like to be Mr. Friend? His lifestyle is appealing to many people. But if these people really understood Mr. Friend’s inner workings, they might evaluate him differently. Mr. Friend is possessed by possessions. He works for things. His motivation and his thoughts are focused on the symbols of economic success.

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Instead of working/studying from home every day, pick two to three days to do it from a café. -          Try and pick a café that’s nearby an upscale shopping area. Take a walk through it after work or on your lunch break. -          Skip out on the lower quality grocery store and try out Whole Foods or Trader Joe’s once or twice a week to get your groceries. -          Instead of reading a book or listening to a podcast from home, go take a walk