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Bryusoc wrote: "Time to admit it--I'm not young; my fortieth year soon..."
Nadya wrote: "But when I was about to go home alone I suddenly noticed that you were no longer young, that your right temple was almost grey, and I was so sorry I felt cold."
Those lines were written in the autumn of 1913, and on November 27 Nadya committed suicide. She had been translating some poems by Jules Laforgue, who wrote about the unbearable boredom of sSundays; in one of his poems a schoolgirl throws herself into the river for no known reason. Bryusov often used to talk about suicide; one of his poems had as its epigraph the words from Tyutchev: "Who, in the excess of feeling, when the blood boils and freezes, has not known your temptations--Suicide and Love?" And Nadya shot herself.
In the preface to the posthumous edition of her book I read: " In Lvova's life there were no significant external events." Dear Lord, how many events do there have to be in a person's life? At fifteen Nadya became an underground worker, at sixteen she was arrested, at nineteen she began to write poetry, at twenty-two she realized: "I'm only a poetess" - and shot herself. I'd have said that was enough.
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