Trump Funniest Quotes

However popular Candid Camera may have been, though, it represented a genre—with the exception of a few popular shows like COPS, Real World, and America’s Funniest Home Videos—that lay dormant on American prime-time television until the late 1990s. Then, stung by a loss of viewers and watercooler buzz to more innovative, more targeted, and more creatively unshackled cable operators, network television programmers revisited reality. The show that ushered in the new era in network programming debuted in the summer of 2000 on CBS, and it became a ratings powerhouse known as Survivor.

Meanwhile, A.J. turned her ire on Hope, who had just about had it with A.J—Hope had simply done her job with the journalist. So Hope starts to yell back at A.J. All of this is going on as Mr. Trump is trying to read the paper. Finally, in one of the funniest moments on Trump Force One, the boss lowers the paper and yells: “Cat Fight!” And just as quickly, he went back to reading the newspaper.

Marital Bliss Donald and Melania Trump are sitting in the White House one night watching Fox News. Suddenly, Melania reaches over and smacks her husband, knocking him off his chair. Donald crawls back up and whines, "What was that for?" She says, "For having a little pecker." He sits there quietly a moment, then leans over smacks her, knocking her off of her chair. She crawls back and complains, "What was that for?" He replies, "For knowing there is more than one size.

It’s a Gay Life A young gay man calls home and tells his mother that he has decided to go back into the closet because he has met a wonderful girl and they are going to be married. He tells his mother, a strict Muslim, that he is sure she will be happier because he knows that his gay lifestyle has been very disturbing to her. She responds that she is indeed delighted and asks tentatively, “I suppose it would be too much to hope that she comes from a good family?” He tells her she comes from a rich, famous, and powerful family. His mother admits she’s overwhelmed by the news, and asks, delighted, “What is her name?” He answers, “Tiffany Trump.” There is a pause, then his mother asks, “What happened to that nice boy you were dating last year?

The funniest example would have to be the curious case of the informal, small collective of liberal, center-left Hollywood insiders and operators who deployed every dirty trick they could muster to ensure that Trump’s inaugural festivities were as punishingly lame as humanly possible. We are, for now, withholding the names of the members of this shadowy cabal, on the condition of our reporting certain details

As the CEO of a publishing company, I’ve met with many politicians over the years—democratic ones and not so democratic ones. I’ve had many conversations with Helmut Kohl, Gerhard Schröder, Angela Merkel, and Olaf Scholz. And, with the exception of Donald Trump, I’ve met every former American president of the past few decades, starting with George H. W. Bush. The funniest and most surprising encounter I ever had with a head of state was with George W. Bush. Henry Kissinger had suggested that if I would like to meet him, I should get my assistant to pass on my next United States travel dates. Which she did, including a trip to a Time Warner board meeting just two days later. That evening, on the French Atlantic coast, I got an email from the White House: The p resident would be delighted to meet me the day after tomorrow, July 25, 2007, at 9:30 a.m. in the Oval Office. Not only was I amazed at the speed with which the meeting had been scheduled, I was also in the depths of rural France—and logistically challenged. First, there was no connecting flight that could get me to Washington on time. Second, my eleven-year-old son was with me and I had promised that he could come to New York this time. In a cloak-and-dagger operation, my office organized a private plane which picked us up on the runway of Angoulême Airport the following day and dropped us off in Washington nine hours later.