Trixie Mattel Quotes

Reading books doesn’t even make someone intelligent. You’re reading a book right now and you’re dumb as hell.

Vodka is like Katya - Russian, low calories, and made of old potatoes.

Well, God's not real... and I am so, do that with that.

I will not Jodie Foster this kind of behavior.

Who or what is Trixie Mattel?” “Oh my God,” Auggie said. “How are we even dating?” “You stalked me and wore me down.” “Ok, technically.

Even a perfect makeup application can’t change everything. You have to like yourself. You have to understand that a blue eyeshadow won’t shave off fifty pounds. Brighter undereyes won’t fix your dark childhood. But a good red lip will get you laid at your high school reunion and that is proof enough that makeup is God.

For the modern woman, it can be quite difficult to make the time to relax, unwind, and unplug. Especially in today’s ultra fast-paced achievement-oriented workaholic culture. In some circles, if you weren’t working 80 hours a week in addition to a half dozen semi-professional level hobbies while dating 2 or three potential live partners between your volunteer shifts at the aquarium then you are basically good for nothing lazy piece of shit.

You cannot judge a fish by its ability to transcribe.

History has proven that trickle-down economics didn’t pan out for the working class, and the same applies here: Trickle-down soap and shampoo will not clean those gams, so do yourself a favor and give your soiled stems the due diligence they deserve.

If you go home with somebody, and they don’t have books, don’t fuck ’em! Don’t sleep with people who don’t read! via John Waters

Alright, public school, calm down.

Beauty is a lovely thing to possess, like dual citizenship or a will to live.

Looking back, did I lose the love of my life? No. Did I lose much of anything? Girl, no. But I let this breakup be an uncontrolled test of self-indulgence. Unless your husband dies in space like Bruce Willis in Armageddon, you really need to calm down and assess. Is your life over? Is this anyone's fault? No. The aftermath of shattered pieces post-breakup are actually rune stones that truth tell. If hindsight is twenty-twenty, you shouldn't feel fifty-fifty about moving on. Typically, time apart only further reveals the earliest red flags of a doomed duo.

DEVASTATED. I was wrecked. I could barely eat for months (fierce).