“
When you hammered those blades, you imbued them- the two swords and the dagger- with your power. The Cauldron's power. They're now magic blades. And I'm not talking nice, pretty magic. I'm talking big, ancient magic that hasn't been seen in a long, long time. There are no magic weapons left. None. They were either lost or destroyed or dumped in the sea. But you just Made three of them. You created a new Dread Trove. You could create even more objects, if you wished.'
Her brows rose higher with each absurd word. 'I Made three magic weapons?'
'We don't know yet what manner of magic you have, but yes.'
She angled her head. Emerie and Gwyn halted their chatting at the water station, as if they could see or sense the shift in her. And it wasn't the fact that she'd Made these weapons that hit like a blow.
'Who is "we"?'
'What?'
'You said " We don't know what manner of magic they have." Who is "we"?'
'Rhys and Feyre and the others.'
'And how long have all of you known about this?'
He winced as he realised his error. 'I... Nesta...'
'How long?' Her voice became sharp as glass. The priestesses were watching, and she didn't care.
He did, apparently. 'This isn't the place to talk about it.'
'You're the one trying to coax a name out of me in the middle of training!' She gestured to the ring.
Her blood pounded in her ears, and Cassian's face grew pained. 'This isn't coming out the way it should. We argued about whether to tell you, but we took a vote and it went in your favour. Because we trust you. I just... hadn't gotten a chance to bring it up yet.'
'There was a possibility you wouldn't even tell me? You all sat around and judged me, and then you voted?' Something deep in her chest cracked to know that every horrible thing about her had been analyzed.
'It... Fuck.' Cassian reached for her, but she stepped back. Everyone was staring now. 'Nesta, this isn't...'
'Who. Voted. Against me.'
'Rhys and Amren.'
'It landed like a physical blow. Rhys came as no surprise. But Amren, who had always understood her more than the others; Amren who'd been unafraid of her; Amren with whom she'd quarrelled so badly... Some small part of her had hoped Amren wouldn't hate her forever.
Her head went quiet. Her body went quiet.
Cassian's eyes widened. 'Nesta-'
'I'm fine,' she said coldly. 'I don't care.'
She let him see her fortify those steel walls within her mind. Used every bit of Mind-Stilling she'd practiced with Gwyn to become calm, focused, steady. Breathing in through her nose, out through her mouth.
She made a show of rolling her shoulders, of approaching Emerie and Gwyn, whose faces bunched with concern in a way Nesta knew she didn't deserve, in a way that she knew would only day vanish, when they, too, realised what a wretch she was. When Amren told them what a pathetic waste of life she was, or they heard it from someone else, and they ceased being her friends. She wouldn't if they'd even say it to her face, or if they'd just disappear.
'Nesta,' Cassian said again. But she left the ring without looking back at him.
Emerie was on her heels instantly, trailing her down the stairs. 'What's wrong?'
'Nothing,' Nesta said, her own voice foreign to her ears. 'Court business.'
'Are you all right?' Gwyn asked, a step behind Emerie.
No. She couldn't stop the roaring in her head, the cracking in her chest. 'Yes,' she lied, and didn't look back as she hit the landing and vanished down the hall.
”
”
Sarah J. Maas (A Court of Silver Flames (A Court of Thorns and Roses, #4))