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Appendix 1
Our Family's Core Values and Mission
YOUR CORE VALUES
What are the most important values in your family? Do your kids know these are critical? Do both parents agree on the ranking of values? This worksheet will help you develop and communicate your top values.
A "value" is an ideal that is desirable. It is a quality that we want to model in our own lives and see developed in the lives of our kids. For instance, honesty is a very important value, for without it you can't have trust in your relationships.
Take time in writing your answers to the following questions.
1. When time and energy are in short supply, what should we make sure we cover in parenting our children? List a few ideas. Then circle the nonnegotiables.
2. What are the "we'd like to get around to these" values? These are the semi-negotiables.
3. What were the top three values of each of your families of origin (the family you grew up in)?
Father Mother 1. 1. 2. 2. 3. 3.
4. Think about a healthy, positive family-one that serves as a role model for you. What would you say are their top three values?
1.
2.
3.
5. What are three or four favorite Scripture verses that communicate elements of a healthy family?
1.
2.
3.
4.
Based on these verses, what are the three or four principles from Scripture that you'd like to see evidenced in your family?
1.
2.
3.
4.
6. What values are your "pound the table with passion" values? What are the ones that you feel very strongly about? (You may already have them listed.) To help you with this, complete the following sentences:
More families need to ...
The problem with today's families is ...
DEVELOPING YOUR FAMILY'S MISSION STATEMENT
Besides writing out your core values, you will do well to develop a family mission statement (or covenant). These important documents will shape your family. The founders of the United States knew that guiding documents would keep us on course as a fledgling democracy; so too will these documents guide your family as you seek to be purposeful.
Sample mission statement:
We exist to love each other and advance Gods timeless principles and his kingdom on earth.
Complete the following:
1. Our family exists to ...
2. What are some activities or behaviors that you imagine your family carrying out?
3. Describe some qualities of character that you can envision your family being known for.
4. What is unique about your family? What makes you different? What are you known for? What sets you apart?
5. What do you hope to do with and through your family that will outlive you? What noble cause greater than yourselves do you want your family to pursue?
6. With these five questions completed, look for a Scripture that supports the basic ideas of your rough-draft concepts for your family mission statement. If there are several candidates, talk about them thoughtfully and choose one, writing it out here:
7. Using the sample as a template, your five questions and your family Scripture, write a rough draft of your family mission statement:
8. Rewrite the mission statement, keeping the same concepts but changing the order of the mission statement. This is simply to give you two options.
9. Discuss this mission statement as a family if the kids are old enough. Discuss it with a few other friends or extended family members. Any feedback?
10. Pray about your family mission statement for a couple of weeks, asking God to affirm it or help you edit it. Then write up the final version. Consider making a permanent version of your family mission statement to hang on a wall in your home.
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Timothy Smith (The Danger of Raising Nice Kids: Preparing Our Children to Change Their World)