Toddlers And Tiaras Quotes

Are you throwing a temper tantrum?” he asked with a grin. “Because this is not Toddlers and Tiaras." -Caeden

The conversation had been so lacking in quality that it actually made Toddlers and Tiaras look like good entertainment by comparison.

But when my ex opens the door, her somber expression and baggy sweats do not suggest we’re about to roll around naked. Nor does the toddler asleep on the bed behind her. I’m frozen as Janelle wraps her arms around me in a hug. “I’ve missed you,” she coos in a baby voice. I would not consider myself the paragon of virtue, but there’s no way I’m doing kinky shit with my ex while a kid sleeps a few feet away. I’ve never seen her baby before. When I found out Janelle’s new guy had knocked her up, I did my best to eradicate thoughts of her from my life. It was too painful to see her move on when she’d promised me that future. I only vaguely inquire about her through my cousin Bianca when I plan trips home so I can avoid my ex. As I take a good long look at the sleeping bundle, I stop breathing. Ernest has blond hair. And Janelle has light brown. My eyes are lasered on the kid, who has thick, black hair. Much like mine. Sweat breaks out on my body, and a giant lump forms in my throat. I cough. “What the fuck is going on?” Janelle wrings her hands, tears forming in her eyes. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Why I needed to do this in person. It’s long overdue.” But like all truly messed-up things in my life, I know the answer to my question before the words are out of her mouth. “She’s yours, Ben.” 3 BEN A suffocating, twisting blackness spreads through me as I stare at this woman I once loved.

Oh my God, drama-queen. You didn’t break it. Jesus, give you three drinks and you’re a toddler in a tiara. Cool it. Tell me

I’m sorry I dragged you into this, Ben.” She sniffles, her soft voice instantly pulling me back from that edge. “I just... I guess I needed to get back at him, you know? Show him he doesn’t matter. I feel so stupid for trusting him.” “I get it,” I whisper. “Use me all you want. Winston and I have never been friends and never will be.” I feel like a dick for not giving her a heads-up about him sooner. But that’s not the kind of thing you just drop on someone, and we’ve never been close like this before. Yes, we conspired to help my sister get back with her boyfriend last winter, and we’ve chatted a few times, but her being with Winston meant me giving her a wide berth. He only asked me to give her a ride because she and I are neighbors. And I have the distinct feeling he wanted to flaunt that she belonged to him. The only kink to staying away from her is the promise I made to my sister to keep an eye on Sienna, which is why I didn’t balk at Winston’s request to drive her to the airport. “I don’t want to cause problems for you on the team.” I shrug and ignore the very real possibility that Winston won’t let this go. “He deserves worse. I’m happy to help however I can.” “You know what would really get under his skin?” Olly, who’s been quiet all this time, takes a swig of soda. “You need a new roommate, right?” he asks Sienna. When she nods, he points at me. “Ben should move in with you. It’ll drive Winston crazy.” I make a face. “Trying to get rid of me?” “Didn’t you just tell me you now have a toddler? Where we gonna put her? In the closet? Next to the Jacuzzi? It was bad enough having a baby around last year, but toddlers are even tougher.” Hell, he’s right.