Tita Quotes

It was very pleasant to savor its aroma, for smells have the power to evoke the past, bringing back sounds and even other smells that have no match in the present. -Tita

Tita knew through her own flesh how fire transforms the elements, how a lump of corn flour is changed into a tortilla, how a soul that hasn't been warmed by the fire of love is lifeless, like a useless ball of corn flour.

Inclusive se convertían en motivo de diversión, a tal grado que durante su niñez Tita no diferenciaba bien las lágrimas de la risa de las del llanto. Para ella reír era una manera de llorar.

And even though he doesn't mean it like I-want-to-leave-my-girlfriend-and-start-dating-you cute, something flickers inside of me. The "force of strength and destruction" Tita de la Garza knew so well.

Tita bajó la cabeza y con la misma fuerza con que sus lágrimas cayeron sobre la mesa, así cayó sobre ella su destino. Y desde ese momento supieron ella y la mesa que no podían modificar ni tantito la dirección de esas fuerzas desconocidas que la obligaban, a la una, a compartir con Tita su sino, recibiendo sus amargas lágrimas desde el momento en que nació, y a la otra a asumir esa absurda determinación

In typical Filipino fashion, my aunt expressed her love not through words of encouragement or affectionate embraces, but through food. Food was how she communicated. Food was how she found her place in the world.

-Perdóneme, Pedro. ¿Lo lastimé? -No tanto como yo la he lastimado, déjeme decirle que mi propósito... -No le he pedido ninguna explicación. -Es necesario que me permita dirigirle unas palabras... -Una vez lo hice y resultaron una mentira, no quiero escucharlo más...

durante su niñez Tita no diferenciaba bien las lágrimas de la risa de las del llanto. Para ella reír era una manera de llorar. De

«Porque no quiero». Tita con estas tres palabras había dado el primer paso hacia la libertad. Mientras

Al escuchar la confirmación de la noticia, Tita sintió como si el invierno le hubiera entrado al cuerpo de golpe y porrazo:

Lo que me dijiste no cambió mi manera de pensar y te repito que me encantaría ser el compañero de toda tu vida, pero quiero que pienses muy bien si ese hombre soy yo o no. Si tu respuesta es afirmativa, celebraremos la boda dentro de unos días. Si no, yo seré el primero en felicitar a Pedro y pedirle que te dé el lugar que te mereces

A Tita le encantaría ser una simple semilla, no tener que dar cuentas a nadie de lo que se estaba gestando en su interior, y poder demostrarle al mundo su viente germinado sin exponerse al rechazo de la sociedad

¡Maldita decencia! ¡Maldito manual de Carreño! Por su culpa su cuerpo quedaba destinado a marchitarse poco a poco, sin remedio alguno. ¡Y maldito Pedro tan decente, tan correcto, tan varonil, tan... tan amado! -Tita

Hay muchas maneras de poner a secar una caja de cerillos húmeda, pero puede estar segura de que tiene remedio

…durante su niñez Tita no diferenciaba bien las lágrimas de la risa de las del llanto. Para ella reír era una manera de llorar. De igual forma confundía el gozo del vivir con el de comer. No era fácil para una persona que conoció la vida a través de la cocina entender el mundo exterior.

Claro que lo sabía. Y claro que lo iba a considerar cuando tomara su decisión, la definitiva, la que determinaría todo su futuro

I made it to Adeena’s fifteen minutes late, which in Brown People Time (BPT) meant I was actually a little early.

Even someone like me felt utang na loob, that impossible to quantify sense of indebtedness and gratitude, to the people who’d raised me. But where was that magical line between selfishness and independence? Between my family and myself?

Why did you do that, Pedro? It will look ridiculous, you agreeing to marry Rosaura. What happened to the eternal love you swore to Tita? Aren't you going to keep that vow?' 'Of course I'll keep it. When you're told there's no way you can marry the woman you love, and your only hope of being near her is to marry her sister, wouldn't you do the same?' 'So you intend to marry without love?' 'No, Papa. I am going to marry with a great love for Tita that will never die.

Her greatest nightmare was holding a party and not having enough food for everyone.

Tita supo en carne propia por qué el contacto con el fuego altera los elementos, por qué un pedazo de masa se convierte en tortilla, por qué un pecho sin haber pasado por el fuego del amor es un pecho inerte, una bola de masa sin ninguna utilidad.

I’ve never met people so enthusiastic about their food before.

So even though I was an only child, I had enough godmothers, cousins, aunties, and uncles to populate a small village. Or at least a relatively small town that began to feel smaller and more suffocating the older I got.

Decidió darle utilidad al estambre en lugar de desperdiciarlo y rabiosamente tejió y lloró, y lloró y tejió, hasta que en la madrugada terminó la colcha y se la echó encima. De nada sirvió. Ni esa noche ni muchas otras mientras vivió logró controlar el frí

All that time and money for your fancy education, you’d think your vocabulary would’ve improved by now. English isn’t even my first language and I’m practically Shakespeare compared to you.

Como ve, todos tenemos en nuestro interior los elementos necesarios para producir fósforo. Es más, déjeme decirle algo que a nadie le he confiado. Mi abuela tenía una teoría muy interesante, decía que si bien todos nacemos con una caja de cerillos en nuestro interior, no los podemos encender solos, necesitamos como en el experimento, oxígeno y la ayuda de una vela. Sólo que en este caso el oxígeno tiene que provenir, por ejemplo, del aliento de la persona amada; la vela puede ser cualquier tipo de alimento, música, caricia, palabra o sonido que haga disparar el detonador y así encender uno de los cerillos. Por un momento nos sentiremos deslumbrados por una intensa emoción. Se producirá en nuestro interior un agradable calor que irá desapareciendo poco a poco conforme pase el tiempo, hasta que venga una nueva explosión a reavivarlo. Cada persona tiene que descubrir cuáles son sus detonadores para poder vivir, pues la combustión que se produce al encenderse uno de ellos es lo que nutre la energía al alma. En otras palabras, esta combustión es su alimento. Si uno no descubre a tiempo cuáles son sus propios detonadores, la caja de cerillos se humedece y ya nunca podremos encender un solo fósforo

I am going to die. Sooner if not later. Tomorrow, if not fifty years later. That means I cannot waste time. I know I cannot help but waste time every now and then, but when I can I will make sure that every waking moment is spent in the pursuit of knowledge.

Tita se alejó rápidamente, dejando a John completamente desconcertado. Ella también lo estaba, pero se recuperó de inmediato al sentir en sus brazos a Roberto. Qué le importaba su destino mientras pudiera tener cerca a ese niño, que era más suyo que de nadie

Rhea, paired with Cronus as Titaness of the seventh day, may be equated with Dione, Diana, the Triple-Goddess of the Dove and Oak cult.

¡Con permiso! … Ah, y le sugiero que para la próxima vez que se enamore, ¡no sea tan cobarde! Tita,

Athene, the Athenians’ city-goddess, was the parthenogenous daughter of the immortal Metis, Titaness of the fourth day and the planet Mercury who presided over all wisdom, and knowledge.

A Tita le encantaría ser una simple semilla, no tener que dar cuentas a nadie de lo que se estaba gestando en su interior, y poder mostrarle al mundo su vientre germinado sin exponerse al rechazo de la sociedad. Las semillas no tenían este tipo de problemas, sobre todo, no tenían madre a la que temer, ni miedo a que las enjuiciaran.

Romeo and Juliet are not relationship goals.

the group of fiftysomething-year-old women I privately referred to as “the Calendar Crew.” Their names were April, Mae, and June

You and I We do not talk anymore And all our asterisks Are turning Into flowers.

Que baile, que ría, que nada le impida galopar hasta la locura, que los ladridos de los perros no detengan su andar, que nunca tenga que elegir entre amar o vivir.

Was it so wrong to want to make my own choices, even if they were the wrong ones? I already had Lola Flor and the rest of my family telling me what to do, I didn’t need my romantic partner doing the same.

almost said “just friends,” as if romantic partnership was superior to platonic friendship, but stopped myself. Adeena hated that term and idea. And I’d learned, time and again, she was right. There was no hierarchy to love.

Anna?" Someone knocks on my door, and it startles me out of my seat. No.Not someone. St. Clair. I'm wearing an old Mayfield Dairy T-shirt, complete with yellow-and-brown cow logo,and hot pink flannel pajama bottoms covered in giant strawberries. I am not even wearing a bra. "Anna,I know you're in there. I can see your light." "Hold on a sec!" I blurt. "I'll be right there." I grab my black hoodie and zip it up over the cow's face before wrenching open the door. "Hisorryaboutthat. Come in." I open the door wide but he stands there for a moment, just staring at me. I can't read the expression on his face. Then he breaks into a mischievous smile and brushes past me. "Nice strawberries." "Shut up." "No,I mean it. Cute." And even though he doesn't mean it like I-want-to-leave-my-girlfriend-and-start-dating-you cute,something flickers inside of me. The "force of strength and destruction" Tita de la Garza knew so well.St. Clair stands in the center of my room.He scratches his head, and his T-shirt lifts up on one side, exposing a slice of bare stomach. Foomp! My inner fire ignites. "It's really...er...clean," he says. Fizz. Flames extinguished.

Most satyrs excel at running away. Gleeson Hedge, however, was not most satyrs. He grabbed a barrel brush from his cart, yelled, "DIE!" and charged the three-hundred-pound manager. Even the automatons were too surprised to react, which probably saved Hedge's life. I grabbed the satyr's collar and dragged him backwards as the employees' first shots went wild, a barrage of bright orange discount stickers flying over our heads. I pulled Hedge down the aisle as he launched a fierce kick, overturning his shopping trolley at our enemies' feet. Another discount sticker grazed my arm with the force of an angry Titaness's slap. "Careful!" Macro yelled at his men. "I need Apollo in one piece, not half-off!

Nunca te volveré a tocar ni a besar. No me es necesario para amarte.

Bir tek gerçek vardır, o da gerçek diye bir şey olmadığıdır! Gerçek, herkesin baktığı noktaya göre değişir.

Si primero es lo primero, el amor va antes que nada. Y si primero es el deber y luego el placer, amar es nuestro deber y placer. No hay nada antes ni más allá que el amor.

There truly was a separate stomach for sweets.

Tita, por su parte, se encargó de enseñarle algo igual de valioso: los secretos de la vida y del amor a través de la cocina.

Tita was literally “like water for chocolate”-she was on the verge of boiling over.

...during her childhood Tita didn't distinguish between tears of laughter and tears of sorrow. For her, laughing was a form of crying.

I don't know why mine never turn out like hers, or why my tears flow so freely when I prepare them - perhaps I am as sensitive to onions as Tita, my great-aunt, who will go on living as long as there is someone who cooks her recipes.

And thus, the Titans & titanesses made love without passion And so did the Gods & Goddesses. They only had Longing[Pothos], Love[Eros] & Reciprocal Love[Anteros] between them, but no Passion. And this fact accounted for the unimaginative number of offspring that some of them had. And the unimaginative tendency of Gods & Goddesses to take aunts & uncles, sons & daughters & even granddads & grandmas to wife or to husband. So much so that some Gods & Goddesses preferred to produce offspring asexually, even without Love. As Hera begot Hephaestus.

To my family, who’ve always encouraged me to go after my not-Asian-approved career choice of writing. Especially you, Mommy—you introduced me to the world of mysteries and shared your love of culinary cozies with me. This whole series is for you. Daddy, I will never bring the care and attention to cooking that you always did, but I hope you tasted the love all the same. I miss you so much, but I hope I did you proud.

I could ignore my godmothers’ first two comments—while being told you looked like a witch would bother most people, I considered it a compliment. I loved natural remedies, dark color palettes, and made bewitchingly delicious baked goods, so I’d learned to lean into the bruha image.

It was more like an encounter with grace. Tita faced crushing poverty without being crushed. As a reporter in the States, I had tried to understand what kept people from seizing opportunity in a society of plenty. As a reporter in Leveriza, I tried to understand how people seized opportunity where it scarcely existed.

He wanted to ruin you,” she said. “That’s how I knew he wasn’t over you. And why I thought you were the one that killed him.

People are all imitations of monkeys Gods are all imitations of humans

Besides, I hate seeing someone unsatisfied with their food. It means they’re going unnurtured. Unfed.

You're more than your work... More than whatever contributions you think you're supposed to be making. More than whoever people think you're supposed to be.

Dear diary, I'm afraid I'm gravely ill. It is perhaps times like these that one reflects on things past. An article of clothing from when I was young. A green jacket. I walk with my father. A game we once played. Pretend we're faeries. I'm a girl faerie. My name is Laura Lee. And you're a boy faerie. Your name is Tita Lee. Pretend, when we're faeries we fight each other, and I say "Stop hitting me I'll die!" And you hit me again and I say, "Now I have to die." And then you say, "But I'll miss you." And I say, "But I have to. And you'll have to wait a million years to see me again. And I'll be put in a box, and all I'll need is a tiny glass of water and lots of tiny pieces of pizza and the box will have wings like an airplane." And you'll ask, "Where will it take you?" "Home." I say. — Sadie Goldstein [Olive] Synecdoche, New York (2008)

Don’t get it twisted. You’re still pretentious and full of yourself. But you’re not like, a bad person or anything. And you are not the reason Janet’s in a hospital bed. So stop pitying yourself and figure out who put her there.

Tita pomyślała, że tyle razy siała nasiona pszenicy, sezamu, sadziła ziarna fasoli czy innych roślin, nie mając pojęcia, co czują te ziarna i nasiona, rosnąc i zmieniając tak diametralnie kształt. Teraz podziwiała tę gotowość, z jaką się otwierały, by woda mogła swobodnie do nich przenikać i doprowadzić do tego, że pękały, by dać początek nowemu życiu. Z jaką dumą pozwalały wychynąć ze swego wnętrza pierwszemu kiełkowi, z jaką gracją pokazywały światu nowe liście.

Siento que dejé pasar el amor. Que no lo cuidé. No lo podé. No le quité las hojas muertas. Lo vi nacer, crecer y dar un bello fruto que no tuve la precaución de cuidar para que se reprodujera para siempre. No, lo dejé caer en la tierra y permití que se pudriera.

No le fue fácil meter en la maleta el dia en que hicieron su primera cumunión las tres juntas.La vela, el libro y la foto afuera de la iglesia cupieron muy bien, pero no así el sabor de los tamales y del atole que nacha les había preparado y que habían comido después en compañia de sus amigos y familiares. Cupieron los huesitos de chabacano de colores, pero no así las risas cuando jugaban con ellos en el patio de la escuela, ni la maestra Jovita, ni el columpio, ni el olor de su recámara, ni el del chocolate recién batido. Lo bueno es que tampoco cupieron las palizas, los regaños de Mamá Elena, pues Tita cerró muy fuerte la maleta antes de que se fueran a colar.

FOOD Adobo (uh-doh-boh)---Considered the Philippines's national dish, it's any food cooked with soy sauce, vinegar, garlic, and black peppercorns (though there are many regional and personal variations) Almondigas (ahl-mohn-dee-gahs)---Filipino soup with meatballs and thin rice noodles Baon (bah-ohn)---Food, snacks and other provisions brought on to work, school, or on a trip; food brought from home; money or allowance brought to school or work; lunch money (definition from Tagalog.com) Embutido (ehm-puh-tee-doh)---Filipino meatloaf Ginataang (gih-nih-tahng)---Any dish cooked with coconut milk, sweet or savory Kakanin (kah-kah-nin)---Sweet sticky cakes made from glutinous rice or root crops like cassava (There's a huge variety, many of them regional) Kesong puti (keh-sohng poo-tih)---A kind of salty cheese Lengua de gato (lehng-gwah deh gah-toh)---Filipino butter cookies Lumpia (loom-pyah)---Filipino spring rolls (many variations) Lumpiang sariwa (loom-pyahng sah-ree-wah)---Fresh Filipino spring rolls (not fried) Mamón (mah-MOHN)---Filipino sponge/chiffon cake Matamis na bao (mah-tah-mees nah bah-oh)---Coconut jam Meryenda (mehr-yehn-dah)---Snack/snack time Pandesal (pahn deh sahl)---Lightly sweetened Filipino rolls topped with breadcrumbs (also written pan de sal) Patis (pah-tees)---Fish sauce Salabat (sah-lah-baht)---Filipino ginger tea Suman (soo-mahn)---Glutinous rice cooked in coconut milk, wrapped in banana leaves, and steamed (though there are regional variations) Ube (oo-beh)---Purple yam

Hekate, the third of this group, was always closest to us—although her name perhaps means “the Distant One”. It is not only her name that links her with Apollon and Artemis, who are also named Hekatos and Hekate, but also her family origin—if Hesiod is right in his account of it. She is elsewhere supposed to have been one of the Daughters of Night.{58} Hesiod, however, gives us the following genealogy:{59} the Titan couple Phoebe and Koios had two daughters: Leto, the mother of Apollon and Artemis, and Asteria, a star-goddess who bore Hekate to Persaios or Perses, the son of Eurybia. Hekate is therefore the cousin of Apollon and Artemis, and at the same time a reappearance of the great goddess Phoibe, whose name poets often give to the moon. Indeed, Hekate used to appear to us carrying her torch as the Moon-Goddess, whereas Artemis, although she, too, sometimes carries a torch, never did so. Hesiod seeks further to distinguish Hekate from Artemis by repeatedly emphasising that the former is monogenes, “an only child”. In this respect, too, Hekate resembled Persephone, the goddess of the Underworld. For the rest, she was an almighty, threefold goddess. Zeus revered her above all others,{60} and let her have her share of the earth, the sea and the starry sky; or rather, he did not deprive her of this threefold honour, which she had previously enjoyed under the earlier gods, the Titans, but let her retain what had been awarded to her at the first distribution of honours and dignities. She was therefore a true Titaness of the Titans, even though this is never expressly stated.

But on the minus side, Zeus had also had his share of fiascos. He swallowed Metis, the Goddess of Wisdom & Prudence, & thus was responsible for the disappearance of both wisdom & prudence in Olympus. And he could not keep his hands off all those lovely Titanesses, Giantesses, Nymphs & Mortal women whom he loved or secretly loved. He took them to wife, even when they were unwilling, such as Metis, Leto, Asteria & Nemesis. And he raped them, even when they were not aware that they were being raped, such as Alcmene, Danae, Io & Europa. And these were only a few of his many love affairs that Hera knew. What he had managed to keep secret from Hera was his greatest love affair of all- his affair with the Goddess of Love, which had already resulted in the mis-begetting of the monstrous love-child, Priapus.

Filipinos were all about family. My whole life I’d had the concept of “family first” drilled into my head, and it’s how I’d lived until I went away to college. It’s not that I disagreed with it, exactly. Even someone like me felt utang na loob, that impossible to quantify sense of indebtedness and gratitude, to the people who’d raised me. But where was that magical line between selfishness and independence? Between my family and myself?

Bibingka had a soft and spongy texture, like a chiffon cake, but with a flavor all its own. Modern bibingka was simply baked in an oven, but it's traditionally grilled using charcoal. Lola Flor had a grill behind the restaurant that she used for occasions like this, and her bibingka was miles ahead of any other version I'd tried. My sweet tooth preferred the simplicity of the sugar-topped ones, but the complexity of the salted duck eggs against the other ingredients made me keep reaching for another piece.

And that... that just broke me. Because while I didn't agree with her idea of what a mother's love was, I couldn't deny that for both her and my mom, that was absolutely how they showed their love. That's what their love amounted to. My mother had loved in the way that she knew how. It had never felt like enough. But maybe I needed to either let people love me in the limited way they could or learn to ask for what I needed out of a relationship. And if they couldn't provide it... maybe I needed to learn to move on.

Civil engineers go where their work is needed. Chicago is my goal because it's the biggest challenge, and could really use this kind of change. But Shady Palms isn't perfect. I mean, it was here that I noticed which areas get the benefits of the town's services. Working in Chicago is my dream, but Shady Palms is my home. I want to make Shady Palms the safest and most equal place possible." "By overseeing construction projects?" Beth didn't bother to keep the mocking tone out of her voice, which made the other girls in the group snicker, but it didn't seem to affect Joy. Her earnestness shone through as she said, "You work for the Thompsons and are a member of their family. You know that construction projects are political---both in who gets them and which areas benefit from them.

Büyükannemin ilginç bir teorisi vardı: Hepimiz içimizde bir kutu kibritle doğarız. Ama tek başımıza bunu yakamayız. Deneyde görüldüğü gibi oksijene ve mum alevine ihtiyacımız vardır. Örneğin, oksijen, sevdiğiniz insanın nefesinden gelebilir. Mum aleviyse güzel bir yemek,müzik, okşamalar ya da güzel sözlerdir. Bunlarda biri patlamaya neden olur ve içimizdeki kibritlerin birini yakar. Bir an yoğun bir heyecan hissederiz. İçimizde çok hoş bir sıcaklık yayılır. Bu sıcaklık zamanla yavaş yavaş yok olur. Sonra yeni bir patlama olur ve içimizde bir kibrit daha yanar. Bu duyguyu yaşamak isteyen herkes kendi içindeki patlayıcıları keşfetmek zorundadır. Bunlar yanarak ruhumuzun beslenmesine yardımcı olur. Yani başka türlü söylersek, bu yanma ruhumuza enerji verir. Bir kişi kendi tutuşturucularını zaman içinde keşfedemezse, içindeki kibritler nemlenir, hiçbir şekilde yanmaz olur. O zaman ruhumuz bedenimizi terk eder. Karanlıkların içinde el yordamıyla boş yere kendisine besin arar. Ona besi sağlayacak tek kaynağın terk ettiği, soğuktan titreyen o vücutta olduğunu bilmez.

FOOD Adobo (uh-doh-boh)--- Considered the Philippines' national dish, it's any food cooked with soy sauce, vinegar, garlic, and black peppercorns (though there are many regional and personal variations) Bibingka (bih-bing-kah)--- Lightly sweetened rice cake, commonly consumed around Christmas. There are many varieties, but the most common is baked or grilled in a banana leaf-lined mold and topped with sliced duck eggs, butter, sugar, and/or coconut. Buko (boo-koh)--- Young coconut Champorado (chahm-puh-rah-doh)--- Sweet chocolate rice porridge Lambanog (lahm-bah-nohg)--- Filipino coconut liquor Lumpia (loom-pyah)--- Filipino spring rolls (many variations) Matamis na bao (mah-tah-mees nah bah-oh)--- Coconut jam (also known as minatamis na bao) Pandan (pahn-dahn)--- Tropical plant whose fragrant leaves are commonly used as a flavoring in Southeast Asia. Often described as a grassy vanilla flavor with a hint of coconut. Pandesal (pahn deh sahl)--- Lightly sweetened Filipino rolls topped with breadcrumbs (also written pan de sal) Patis (pah-tees)--- Fish sauce Pinipig (pih-nee-pig)--- Young glutinous rice that's been pounded flat, then toasted. Looks similar to Rice Krispies. Salabat (sah-lah-baht)--- Filipino ginger tea Tuyo (too-yoh)--- Dried, salted fish (usually herring) Ube (oo-beh)--- Purple yam

There’s a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and get lost in a sea of blue. A Jersey-accented voice says, “It’s about time, kid,” and Frank Sinatra rattles the ice in his glass of Jack Daniel’s. Looking at the swirling deep-brown liquid, he whispers, “Ain’t it beautiful?” This is my introduction to the Chairman of the Board. We spend the next half hour talking Jersey, Hoboken, swimming in the Hudson River and the Shore. We then sit down for dinner at a table with Robert De Niro, Angie Dickinson and Frank and his wife, Barbara. This is all occurring at the Hollywood “Guinea Party” Patti and I have been invited to, courtesy of Tita Cahn. Patti had met Tita a few weeks previous at the nail parlor. She’s the wife of Sammy Cahn, famous for such songs as “All The Way,” “Teach Me Tonight” and “Only the Lonely.” She called one afternoon and told us she was hosting a private event. She said it would be very quiet and couldn’t tell us who would be there, but assured us we’d be very comfortable. So off into the LA night we went. During the evening, we befriend the Sinatras and are quietly invited into the circle of the last of the old Hollywood stars. Over the next several years we attend a few very private events where Frank and the remaining clan hold forth. The only other musician in the room is often Quincy Jones, and besides Patti and I there is rarely a rocker in sight. The Sinatras are gracious hosts and our acquaintance culminates in our being invited to Frank’s eightieth birthday party dinner. It’s a sedate event at the Sinatras’ Los Angeles home. Sometime after dinner, we find ourselves around the living room piano with Steve and Eydie Gorme and Bob Dylan. Steve is playing the piano and up close he and Eydie can really sing the great standards. Patti has been thoroughly schooled in jazz by Jerry Coker, one of the great jazz educators at the Frost School of Music at the University of Miami. She was there at the same time as Bruce Hornsby, Jaco Pastorius and Pat Metheny, and she learned her stuff. At Frank’s, as the music drifts on, she slips gently in on “My One and Only Love.” Patti is a secret weapon. She can sing torch like a cross between Peggy Lee and Julie London (I’m not kidding). Eydie Gorme hears Patti, stops the music and says, “Frank, come over here. We’ve got a singer!” Frank moves to the piano and I then get to watch my wife beautifully serenade Frank Sinatra and Bob Dylan, to be met by a torrent of applause when she’s finished. The next day we play Frank’s eightieth birthday celebration for ABC TV and I get to escort him to the stage along with Tony Bennett. It’s a beautiful evening and a fitting celebration for the greatest pop singer of all time. Two years later Frank passed away and we were generously invited to his funeral. A

Hmm, that setup smelled fishier than a barrel of patis left out on a summer day.

An old client brought me a bottle of Vinho Verde, so I thought I'd try making a green sangria. Perfect for spring, isn't it?" The pitcher was full of honeydew, green apple, green grapes, lime, basil, and mint. It was light and refreshing, with just the right hint of herbal sweetness. I was in love.

I had a pretty good, though untrained, palate and sense of smell, and Adeena was forever coming up with little tests to see if I could determine what was in certain food and drinks. I didn't mind--- these tastings had fast become a ritual with us, a fun way to start the day and keep my senses sharp. Plus, I did enjoy showing off a bit. I was pretty sure I knew what spices were in the honey I'd just sampled, but just in case, I took another healthy bite of the honey-topped scone and chewed slowly, letting the contrasting textures and flavors permeate my mouth. The crisp crust of the scone yielded to a soft, fluffy interior that melted in the mouth. The clotted cream added body and richness and perfectly complemented the sweetly spiced honey. "Star anise, cinnamon, cardamom, cloves, black pepper, and just a touch of ginger," I pronounced.

I need to take Longganisa for her morning walk." My adorable dachshund accompanied me to work every day and was content to spend most of the day napping in my office, but I tried to be good dog parent and take her out for multiple walks throughout the day. The Brew-ha Cafe was dog-friendly, and Nisa proved to be one of our most successful promo attempts. Whenever people saw her walking around in her adorable Brew-ha Cafe-themed outfits, custom-made by my friend's daughter, they'd stop and ask to pet her. The perfect opportunity to hand over my business card and invite them to the cafe. Today, Nisa was outfitted in a lemon-yellow Brew-ha Cafe dress and a little flower crown to welcome spring.

Also, I can't believe that group calls themselves the Elite Four. That is absolutely hilarious." "Why is that hilarious? Seems more pretentious to me." "Because the Elite Four is a Pokémon thing. They're the top four trainers in their region. How do you not---" "That's funny, I didn't think of Pokémon, I thought of Boys Over Flowers. Like the F4," Elena said. "Me too!" I may not know much about cartoons and anime, but J-dramas and K-dramas? Elena was speaking my language.

I held up my dachshund, this time dressed in a bumblebee costume, hoping the adorableness and butter and sugar would temper his reaction, but that was probably too much to hope for. Jae was a very understanding and not at all demanding boyfriend, but I guess "be cool with his girlfriend's weird murder-solving hobby/calling" was too much to ask for.

She realized that you can't be weak when it comes to killing: you have to be strong or it just causes more sorrow. It occurred to her that she could use her mother's strength right now. Mama Elena was merciless, killing with a single blow. Then again not always. For Tita she had made an exception; she had been killing her a little at a time since she was a child, and she still hasn't quite finished her off.

My best friend and other business partner, Adeena Awan, was embracing spring's floral vibes by pushing her signature lavender chai latte as well as her new seasonal creations, including a lavender honey latte (the honey sourced from Elena's uncle's local apiary), lavender calamansi-ade, and a sampaguita matcha latte (I didn't really like floral flavors, but even I had to admit the matcha drink was stunning). As for me, I was leaning into "spring means green" and had prepared pandan-pistachio shortbread and brownies with a pandan cheesecake swirl. I also came up with a red bean brownie recipe, which wasn't particularly spring-like, but hey, I was in a brownie mood. And for a quick no-bake option, I developed buko pandan mochi Rice Krispie treats, which would be sure to delight our youngest customers

Doña Teresa rose, and while she talked she deftly rolled up the mat on which she had slept and stood it on end in the corner of the room. You see it didn’t take any time at all to dress, because they always slept with their clothes on. But Doña Teresa was very particular about one thing. She made them all wash their faces and hands the very first thing every single morning! For a wash-basin there was a part of a log, hollowed out like a trough. Beside the hollow log there was a large red olla, with a gourd in it. Pancho had dipped water from the olla into the trough and was already splashing about, while Doña Teresa rolled the Twins off on to the floor and placed their mats in the corner with the others. “Come, my pigeons,” she said to them, “it is time to be stirring. We are very lazy [p 10 ] to lie in bed after cockcrow on San Ramon’s 7 Day!” “Oh, Little Mother,” cried Tita, picking herself up, “is it really the fiesta of San Ramon? And may I take the little white hen to be blessed, all myself?” “You may take the little white hen if you can catch her,” Doña Teresa answered. “Indeed, we must take all the animals, or at the very least one of each kind to stand for all the others. The turkey must be caught, and the goat must be brought from the field so I can milk her. Tonto [that was what they called the donkey] is waiting in the shed to be made ready, not to speak of the cat and dog! Bless my soul, how many things there are to be done!

But someone killed my niece. And until we find the person who did it, we are not taking any chances. I refuse to remove any possibilities because I’d rather stick my head in the sand and pretend they’re not there.

I had to tell them that their only child is gone because of me. So don’t act like you understand. And don’t you dare act like everything’s going to be OK. You’re not the one who has to live with this.

People milled about the room, eating and chatting and laughing as if this were any other church social event and not a remembrance of a young life lost. Divina was new in town and most of these people had never met her, I reminded myself before I could get worked up. These people were all here out of respect to Ninang April, but they were not personally affected by this loss. This level of casualness was to be expected.

So, um, I’ve heard a bit of gossip during some of my classes,” Sana said. “Seems like people are pretty evenly divided between ‘those nosy aunties are finally getting theirs’ and ‘that girl was an evil temptress.

Everybody turned on her. Her boyfriend broke up with her so his name wouldn’t be associated with hers anymore. He made her delete all the photos of them together online and refused to be seen around her. She was blacklisted in the art community here. Her parents sent her away hoping things would die down and she could start over eventually.

Really though, it was hard not to laugh when the Calendar Crew, a group whose lives revolved around talking about people behind their backs, were suddenly all huffy when people were doing it to them. Did they realize the irony? Judging by the stony expressions on their faces, probably not.

When the scandal hit the news, the other families had PR teams spin it so that Divina took the brunt of the blame. She had a job lined up, but the company rescinded the offer. She found herself blacklisted from the more reputable companies, too. She begged her friends to help her out, but there was talk of pressing charges for the mental and physical damages that other student suffered, so her friends decided Divina worked best as a scapegoat

He was right though, there were people who seemed to delight in my godmothers’ latest string of problems, even those who’d previously been friendly with them. Love how quick people are to turn on you in this town.

It’s all well and good to be forgiving, but I wonder how many times you can put up with the same humiliation before you move from ‘forgiving’ to ‘foolish.

Love isn’t logical. You know that, dear,” Martha said, admonishing him. “And it’s not right for us to comment on their marriage like this. Nobody knows what it’s really like behind closed doors.

Considering my ‘hobby’ saved your sorry a—um, butt.” Tita Rosie had thrown me a look so I changed my wording. “You should really be a whole lot nicer to me. I could always use more groveling in my life.

I don’t know what that means, but if you’re comparing yourself to me, I don’t like it. My plans are smart. Yours are just greedy,” Lola Flor said sharply. Says the woman with a gambling addiction, but that was an issue for the therapist she refused to see. I wasn’t foolish enough to say that out loud.

The same as anyone else here, I imagine. Grabbing a drink, enjoying some illegal gambling, all that good stuff.” Nabila slammed down the glass. “What’re you trying to pull? Is this a raid? Are there cops surrounding the building or something?

Not all of us got to go away to college like you did. Some of us were stuck at home helping out our family business and learning random skills from YouTube to get by.

Not everyone can afford to chase after their dreams, you know. We don’t all have your privilege. And besides, nursing is a noble profession and Ate Bernie is fantastic at what she does. The Shady Palms Hospital is lucky to have her,” I said.

It’s common for people to have househelp in the Philippines. I guess it’s different here. A lot of things seem to be different here.” Divina looked down at her manicured hands. “I didn’t go to college just to end up doing this kind of labor. I really don’t get what my family’s trying to prove.

We sunk our savings into this, and to miss all the business that the opening week for the Spring Clean could bring us? Absolutely not.

All the good-looking guys in this town are taken! I was hoping to have some fun while I was here, but it seems like more trouble than it’s worth. And I promised my aunt I’d stay out of trouble. Guess this is a sign that I should behave after all.” Her face lit up as if she were amused, but her eyes held a more complicated emotion.

You know how to modulate your voice, to bow your head so the thick curtain of your chin-cropped hair hides the heat in your eyes. To mask the rough rage that threatens to claw its way through your skin every time your mother or your titas or your teachers or anyone else in the world tries to tell you exactly how to be the perfect Filipina American daughter you are not and never have been.

Too soft to ask her son Ronnie, my good-for-nothing cousin, for help—he was a boy, therefore free to live his own life.