The Last Eligible Billionaire Quotes

It’s hard to balance getting enough for yourself when your default is to give to everyone else.

my private

disaster

I don’t drink coffee. I drink the blood of people who piss me off.

I like giving people peace. But I’m done doing it at the expense of my own happiness.

I want to be wooed, and I want to be someone’s equal.

All people just want to be accepted for who they are. It’s not that hard to tell someone they have a nice haircut or a great smile or excellent taste in butts.

How do people get to be rich and have their armpits smell like warm chocolate chip cookies?

If she meant well for you, she’d pay attention to what you want. Not what she wants for you.

Dude. I do not understand straight women.

How do I know you’re the owner? What if you just know the owner? Or what if you’re casing the joint to figure out when the house will be empty next?” “You’ve found me out. I’m a burglar. I’m the tuxedo burglar, and I only burgle while wearing last night’s formal wear. Whatever shall I take first?

There’s nothing like making Monday your bitch to start the week on a high note, and if you fail at making Monday your bitch, you blame it on Monday being Monday, and start over on Tuesday.

is,

Begonia was loud even when she was quiet.

She’s the sun, and I’ve become a single blade of grass basking in her presence.