Swoly Bible Quotes

Reading a Book Don’t actually read the book, just hold it really tight so your forearms bulge out. Every time you turn a page, rip it out, because you are too strong to hold paper.

The locker room is like taking the subway after midnight: Chances are you are going to be fine, but you never know who is going to pull their dick out.

You will never look like the girl in the magazine; the girl in the magazine doesn't even look like the girl in the magazine. Don't try to achieve your dream body; you can't have that, it's not real, that's why it's called a dream body. Instead, try to achieve your real body, which is the one you already have. Congrats, you did it. Always love yourself, even if deep down you're not truly happy and want to change things for the better. Just say fuck it and have some wine. And if that doesn't work then just actually whine.

bar last night and still isn’t awake. Respect. Now you are faced with a decision: Skip your workout today and lose all your gains, or reach into your pants, grab your nutsack, and drag yourself to the