Speakerphone Quotes

Make it quick," I said when I picked up. "Okay. Two men from the FBI are here." Cookie said. Quickly. Crap. "Men in black are at the office?" "Well, yes, but they're actually in more of a navy." Crapola. I so don't have time for men. In any color. "Okay, two questions. Do they look mad, and are they hot?" After a long, long, pause, Cookie said, "One, not really. Two, no comment at this time. And three, you're on speakerphone." After another long, long pause, I said, "Okie dokie then. Be there in a jiff.

Seattle? With Caine? In a hotel? I’d either kill him or screw him again. “Fuck.” “Alexa, the speakerphone is on,” Caine’s amused voice sounded from my desk. Oh, balls.

Everything I told him was technically true, more or less, and I got the job done," Jack said stubbornly. "Look, sir, if I were perfect, I wouldn't be working here in the first place. Now, would I?" And then he hung up. On speakerphone. On a freaking archangel. I couldn't help it. I let out a rolling belly laugh. "I just got suckered into doing this by...Stars and stones, you didn't even know that he...Big bad angel boy, and you get the wool pulled over your eyes by..." I stopped trying to talk and just laughed. Uriel eyed the phone, then me, and then tucked the little device away again, clearly nonplussed. "It doesn't matter how well I believe I know your kind, Harry. They always manage to find some way to try my patience.

I’M SORRY I am developing a new board game. It’s called “I’m Sorry.” It’s also a form of “Self-Help Psychological Therapy!” You take turns moving around the board like Monopoly. But if you land on a Yellow or Green “I’m Sorry Space”… you have to make a Phone call. Both green and yellow cards are labeled- the same with things like: Your Ex, Parental figure, friend, co-worker, boss, children, etc. You get the point… If you land on the yellow space, the game stops, everyone gets quiet and you have to call that person up – on speakerphone. You apologize for something you’ve done in your past. Come on you know you are not perfect and you probably screwed up, hurt or disappointed everyone in your past at one time or another. So you call and you apologize. You explain what you did to them wrong if they forgive you, you move forward 10 places and everyone cheers! No forgiveness back- you move back to the beginning. If you land on the green space- it’s similar. But you call the person up and you try to explain to them how, in someway, they hurt you in the past. If they apologize… cheers and you move forward 10 spaces. No apology… move backward ten spaces. They curse at you- game over. In the original packaging of the yellow and green cards, are mixed in a set of “I’m Sorry Cards.” If you are lucky enough to get to pick up an “I’m Sorry Card,” it’s like a Get Out of Jail Free Card, and you don’t have to make the call. The only catch is that the cards come hermetically sealed. After opening up the package, and the cards are exposed to air, all of the “I’m Sorry Cards,” magically turn into “Deal With it Cards!” And so, you really never get a free ride. In reality, every time you pick up a yellow or green card, you have to- Deal with It! Of course you can always order a new factory set of sealed of “I’m Sorry Cards.” But they only last about 30 minutes and are very expensive, so you’ll have to play fast. Cute Game? Hey, don’t steal my idea!!!

It’s usually not a good idea to put the truth speaker of the tribe on speakerphone.

Someone is getting excited. Somebody somewhere is shaking with excitement because something tremendous is about to happen to this person. This person has dressed for the occasion. This person has hoped and dreamed and now it is really happening and this person can hardly believe it. But believing is not an issue here, the time for faith and fantasy is over, it is really really happening. It involves stepping forward and bowing. Possibly there is some kneeling, such as when one is knighted. One is almost never knighted. But this person may kneel and receive a tap on each shoulder with a sword. Or, more likely, this person will be in a car or a store or under a vinyl canopy when it happens. Or online or on the phone. It could be an e-mail re: your knighthood. Or a long, laughing, rambling phone message in which every person this person has ever known is talking on a speakerphone and they are all saying, You have passed the test, it was all just a test, we were only kidding, real life is so much better than that. This person is laughing out loud with relief and playing the message back to get the address of the place where every person this person has ever known is waiting to hug this person and bring her into the fold of life. It is really exciting, and it’s not just a dream, it’s real.

It’s the same with cell phones. I never answer them up to my ear. I always put it on speakerphone and hold it six to eight inches away from my brain. Here’s an example of a phone call I recently received from an unknown number: -Hello? -Hi, Is Shehe there? -Yes. But S/he can’t talk right now, as it is very confused. But I’ll tell him or her that you called.

This person has hoped and dreamed and now it is really happening and this person can hardly believe it. But believing is not an issue here, the time for faith and fantasy is over, it is really really happening. It involves stepping forward and bowing. Possibly there is some kneeling, such as when one is knighted. One is almost never knighted. But this person may kneel and receive a tap on each shoulder with a sword. Or, more likely, this person will be in a car or a store or under a vinyl canopy when it happens. Or online or on the phone. It could be an e-mail re: your knighthood. Or a long, laughing, rambling phone message in which every person this person has ever known is talking on a speakerphone and they are all saying, You have passed the test, it was all just a test, we were only kidding, real life is so much better than that.

speakerphone on the table, and another twenty lawyers from across the country had dialed in.

In every potential sponsor’s eyes, I was a nobody. And soon I had notched up more rejection letters than is healthy for any one man to receive. I tried to think of an entrepreneur and adventurer that I admired, and I kept coming back to Sir Richard Branson, the founder of Virgin. I wrote to him once, then I wrote once more. In all, I sent twenty-three letters. No response. Right, I thought, I’ll find out where he lives and take my proposal there myself. So I did precisely that, and at 8:00 P.M. one cold evening, I rang his very large doorbell. A voice answered the intercom, and I mumbled my pitch into the speakerphone. A housekeeper’s voice told me to leave the proposal--and get lost. It’s not clear quite what happened next: I assume that whoever had answered the intercom meant just to switch it off, but instead they pressed the switch that opened the front door. The buzzing sound seemed to last forever--but it was probably only a second or two. In that time I didn’t have time to think, I just reacted…and instinctively nudged the door open. Suddenly I found myself standing in the middle of Sir Richard Branson’s substantial, marble-floored entrance hall. “Uh, hello!” I hollered into the empty hall. “Sorry, but you seem to have buzzed the door open,” I apologized to the emptiness. The next thing I knew, the housekeeper came flying down the stairs, shouting at me to leave. I duly dropped the proposal and scarpered. The next day, I sent around some flowers, apologizing for the intrusion and asking the great man to take a look at my proposal. I added that I was sure, in his own early days, he would probably have done the same thing. I never got a reply to that one, either.

And who is this fetching creature?” he asked with a wink. “My,” Esperanza said, “what woman doesn’t love to be called a creature?” B Man laughed again. “The little lady has gumption,” he said. “I like that. I really do.” “Like I care,” Esperanza said. More laughter. “May I indulge you a moment, Miss …?” “Money Penny,” she finished for him. She said it with her best Sean Connery imitation. No Rich Little, but not bad either. Another laugh from the B Man. The man was half-hyena. “Would you please call Win down here? On the speakerphone if you don’t mind. Tell him to come down unarmed.” She

You remind Cruise that I was the one who begged him to run screaming from that script,” Graham shouts into a speakerphone on his desk in an office just like every office in movies with studio executive scenes. Where a window fills the entire rear wall on a floor so high you could see your house from it if it weren’t obscured by its own weather system. The kind that silhouettes the man in power with a Christ-like halo of sunlight meant to intimidate guests into squinting in what could be mistaken for awe. He waves me inside to sit in a chair that’s at least one strategic foot lower than his own.

I HATE you,” she told her sister over the speakerphone in her secure wing of Brigid and Carwyn’s house. “No, you don’t.” “I do.” “What did Murphy do?” “Nothing.”  Except kiss me in Galway and remind me that I miss him like a lost limb.  Stare at me during the opera as if he’d eat me alive in the most pleasurable way possible.  Show off his intellect, which has always been the most attractive thing about him.  “Patrick Murphy has been a complete gentleman,” she said. “Unerringly polite and respectful. Painfully welcoming.” Anne heard Mary suck on her cigarette and release a breath. “Hateful man. That would irritate the piss out of me.

I don’t know. I guess he doesn’t want his grandmother to know that he’s living in sin with a woman he got pregnant out of wedlock. So it’s going to be our little secret for now.” At this point, I’m pretty sure my eyes are bulging out of my head, but Mandy’s voice is breezy as she adds, “No, seriously, it’s fine with me. He’s a great guy and the sex is incredible. So yeah, with all the orgasming I’m doing, I really have no reason to complain. You want to say hi?” Before I can recover from the shock of hearing Mandy tell her mother about our incredible, orgasm-heavy sex life, she taps a button and holds the phone up between us, chirping cheerily, “Say hi to Alexi, Mom! You’re on speakerphone.

Obviously, in those situations, we lose the sale. But we’re not trying to maximize each and every transaction. Instead, we’re trying to build a lifelong relationship with each customer, one phone call at a time. A lot of people may think it’s strange that an Internet company is so focused on the telephone, when only about 5 percent of our sales happen through the telephone. In fact, most of our phone calls don’t even result in sales. But what we’ve found is that on average, every customer contacts us at least once sometime during his or her lifetime, and we just need to make sure that we use that opportunity to create a lasting memory. The majority of phone calls don’t result in an immediate order. Sometimes a customer may be calling because it’s her first time returning an item, and she just wants a little help stepping through the process. Other times, a customer may call because there’s a wedding coming up this weekend and he wants a little fashion advice. And sometimes, we get customers who call simply because they’re a little lonely and want someone to talk to. I’m reminded of a time when I was in Santa Monica, California, a few years ago at a Skechers sales conference. After a long night of bar-hopping, a small group of us headed up to someone’s hotel room to order some food. My friend from Skechers tried to order a pepperoni pizza from the room-service menu, but was disappointed to learn that the hotel we were staying at did not deliver hot food after 11:00 PM. We had missed the deadline by several hours. In our inebriated state, a few of us cajoled her into calling Zappos to try to order a pizza. She took us up on our dare, turned on the speakerphone, and explained to the (very) patient Zappos rep that she was staying in a Santa Monica hotel and really craving a pepperoni pizza, that room service was no longer delivering hot food, and that she wanted to know if there was anything Zappos could do to help. The Zappos rep was initially a bit confused by the request, but she quickly recovered and put us on hold. She returned two minutes later, listing the five closest places in the Santa Monica area that were still open and delivering pizzas at that time. Now, truth be told, I was a little hesitant to include this story because I don’t actually want everyone who reads this book to start calling Zappos and ordering pizza. But I just think it’s a fun story to illustrate the power of not having scripts in your call center and empowering your employees to do what’s right for your brand, no matter how unusual or bizarre the situation. As for my friend from Skechers? After that phone call, she’s now a customer for life. Top 10 Ways to Instill Customer Service into Your Company   1. Make customer service a priority for the whole company, not just a department. A customer service attitude needs to come from the top.   2. Make WOW a verb that is part of your company’s everyday vocabulary.   3. Empower and trust your customer service reps. Trust that they want to provide great service… because they actually do. Escalations to a supervisor should be rare.   4. Realize that it’s okay to fire customers who are insatiable or abuse your employees.   5. Don’t measure call times, don’t force employees to upsell, and don’t use scripts.   6. Don’t hide your 1-800 number. It’s a message not just to your customers, but to your employees as well.   7. View each call as an investment in building a customer service brand, not as an expense you’re seeking to minimize.   8. Have the entire company celebrate great service. Tell stories of WOW experiences to everyone in the company.   9. Find and hire people who are already passionate about customer service. 10. Give great service to everyone: customers, employees, and vendors.

You should buy a potted plant.” I laugh at that as I sit on the wooden picnic table at the park in the dark, listening to Jack ramble through the speakerphone beside me. “A plant.” “Seriously, hear me out—you get a plant. You nurture it, keep it alive, and wham-bam, that’s how you know you’re ready for this whole thing.” “That’s stupid.” “No, it’s not. It’s a real thing. I saw it in that movie 28 Days.” “The zombie one?” “Nah, man, the Sandra Bullock one. You’re thinking about 28 Days Later.” “You steal your advice from Sandra Bullock movies?” “Oh, don’t you fucking judge me. It’s a hell of a lot better than that shit you keep making. And besides, it’s good advice.” “Buy a plant.” “Yes.” “Did you buy one?” “What?” “A plant,” I say. “Did you buy yourself a plant to prove you’re ready for a relationship?” “No,” he says. “Why not?” “Because I don’t need a plant to tell me what I already know,” he says. “I’m wearing a pair of emoji boxers and eating hot Cheetos in my basement apartment. Pretty sure the signs are all there.” “Emoji boxers?” I laugh. “Talk about a stereotypical internet troll.” “Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he says. “This isn’t about me, though. We’re talking about you.” “I’m tired of talking about me.” “Holy shit, seriously? Didn’t think that was possible!” “Funny.” “Remember that interview you did on The Late Show two years ago?” “I don’t want to talk about it.” “You were stoned out of your mind, kept referring to yourself in third person.” “Fuck off.” “Pretty sure that guy would never be tired of talking about himself.” “You’re an asshole.” He laughs. “True.” “You get on my nerves.” “You’re welcome.” Sighing, I shake my head. “Thank you.” “Now go buy yourself a plant,” he says. “I was in the middle of a game of Call of Duty when you called, so I’m going to get back to it.” “Yeah, okay.” “Oh, and Cunning? I’m glad you haven’t drowned yourself in a bottle of whiskey.” “Why? Would you miss me?” “More like your fangirls might murder me if I let you destroy yourself,” he says. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but they’re crazy. Have you seen some of their fan art? It’s insane.” “Goodbye, Jack,” I say, pressing the button on my phone to end the call

trumpeting the quarter’s performance. After that came the question period. It started predictably enough, with requests for information about run-of-the-mill operating matters. Then the operator called on the next questioner. “Richard Grubman, of Highfield Capital.” As Skilling stared at the speakerphone, Mark Koenig, the investor-relations chief, began scrawling a note. Grubman asked what the balances of assets and liabilities were in the trading business

Karat, is that you? Please say something, baby, if it is. Bethany is my sister.” She sniffled, and I put the call on speakerphone.

Where did you buy those cupcakes, and do they deliver to Northbridge?” Carrie asked, slightly breathless. Holy shit. My plan worked! I almost wanted to run back into the station, put her on speakerphone and parade my success under Darryl’s nose.

Ah, yes, my friend, I do. On to more important things. I have found your suspect.” Lincoln gesticulated to the rest of the homicide office. “Juan, I’m putting you on speakerphone.” He hit the speaker button and the disembodied voice raked through the air.

As she pulled away from her old life, the phone rang. She clicked the speakerphone on. Sam’s ebullient voice spilled from the speaker. “It’s the same stuff.” “Jesus, you’re there late. Why do you sound so happy? That means he’s definitely killed a fourth.

Trump liked to say that one of the things that made life worth living was getting your friends’ wives into bed. In pursuing a friend’s wife, he would try to persuade the wife that her husband was perhaps not what she thought. Then he’d have his secretary ask the friend into his office; once the friend arrived, Trump would engage in what was, for him, more or less constant sexual banter. Do you still like having sex with your wife? How often? You must have had a better fuck than your wife? Tell me about it. I have girls coming in from Los Angeles at three o’clock. We can go upstairs and have a great time. I promise … And all the while, Trump would have his friend’s wife on the speakerphone, listening in.

Syn had to take his hand off Furi’s thigh so he could answer his cell phone. He saw it was Day and put it on speakerphone. “Yeah, Day. What’s the word?” Syn greeted, cutting right to chase on the decision of Furi’s protective order. “It’s done and I had Ruxs and Green serve it this afternoon.” Day’s grin could be heard through the phone. Syn and Furi turned and smiled at each other, remembering how intimidating those two detectives looked. There was no way Patrick and Brenden would want to go up against them. They were the muscle of the taskforce so Syn could only imagine how they served that order. Surely Furi’s ex was on the first thing smoking back to Charlotte. “Ask Furi if he's gotten any phone calls from asshat today.” “Wait how’d you know he was even with me?” Syn glanced a look at the phone. Day pfftd. “Yeah right, just ask him.” Furi spoke up, his deep voice filling the small space of Syn’s truck. “No I haven’t. Thank you very much Day, I really appreciate your help man.” Day’s voice dropped a couple octaves and rumbled back through the speaker. “Call me Leo, darlin. And just how appreciative are you willing to be, Furious?” Click. Syn disconnected the call and tossed the phone into the console. Furi laughed so hard he had tears coming down his cheeks.

Trump liked to say that one of the things that made life worth living was getting your friends’ wives into bed. In pursuing a friend’s wife, he would try to persuade the wife that her husband was perhaps not what she thought. Then he’d have his secretary ask the friend into his office; once the friend arrived, Trump would engage in what was, for him, more or less constant sexual banter. Do you still like having sex with your wife? How often? You must have had a better fuck than your wife? Tell me about it. I have girls coming in from Los Angeles at three o’clock. We can go upstairs and have a great time. I promise … And all the while, Trump would have his friend’s wife on the speakerphone, listening in.

Trump liked to say that one of the things that made life worth living was getting your friends’ wives into bed. In pursuing a friend’s wife, he would try to persuade the wife that her husband was perhaps not what she thought. Then he’d have his secretary ask the friend into his office; once the friend arrived, Trump would engage in what was, for him, more or less constant sexual banter. Do you still like having sex with your wife? How often? You must have had a better fuck than your wife? Tell me about it. I have girls coming in from Los Angeles at three o’clock. We can go upstairs and have a great time. I promise . . . And all the while, Trump would have his friend’s wife on the speakerphone, listening in. Previous

The phone would ring, and they would put their son on speakerphone. Ever sensitive to charges of puppeteering, Mrs. Bush let it known that certain restrictions were observed. "The rules are: no repeating what he tells you and no giving unsolicited advice and no passing on things that people ask you to give the President...gifts or advice or ideas or wanting job," his mother recalled. "We just have made that deal because we were there. We know what it's like

Yes,” he replied right away. “Something happened to me. Like…physically. And I’m gonna need your help identifying this shit. I mean, you’re the doctor.” “I’m a pharmaceutical tech, Mavi. I can tell you if you have the flu, shit like that.” “Whatever. Maybe I do. I can’t eat. All day, I didn’t eat shit and now, I can’t eat nothing.” Gaby swallowed hard, her heart rate picking up pace. The bitch in her whispered, ‘Good’. “I’m tired as fuck, but I can’t close my eyes. But even before today, I’ve been fucked up. I can’t sleep without thinking about you, Gabrielle.” She should take him off speakerphone. “I can’t talk to somebody, or have a simple-ass meeting or do anything without thinking about you. I wait all day when you’re working to call you and as soon as I hang up, I wanna call you right back. But I know how that would make me look, like a fucking desperate nut, right? So I don’t do it... When you leave me I’m already thinking of when I’m going to see you again. And the crazy shit is, everything I do, I already know I want to do it with you. I don’t care if it’s going to the grocery store or going to Saint Tropez, whatever, I know I want you next to me from now on.

What a jerk!” Ellie paced back and forth in front of her computer screen as Julio listened on the speakerphone.  “Who?” asked Julio. “Cedric, the guy I had coffee with. Seriously, he deserves to be kicked in the balls.” “Ouch. Not the boys.

I’m open to suggestions, if you happen to have any.” “You could sing,” Ruby said without missing a beat. “Or if you don’t like singing—” “How did you guess?” “You could listen to music. Or audiobooks—I used to listen to them before I learned to read. You could also tell jokes and talk on the phone if you put it on speakerphone. You could tell me all your favorite flowers, and I would plant them in the garden so you can have a bouquet whenever you want one.” She shrugged matter-of-factly. “I can think up more stuff and make you a list if you want.

Okay, now you’re finally sounding crazy. Of course not. I’m forwarding you a new email from a bride named Amy.” I keep Jay on the line and check my email. Dear Jen, Let me preface this by saying that I have never been a bridesmaid. I am one of the first of my friends to be getting married and am 25 years old. I am getting married this September, weekend after Labor Day, and it has been quite a learning experience at that. I had to let my maid of honor go, due to her issues of not being able to be part of the big day and rearrange. That was a stressful part of planning. :/ I knock the pizza box off my bed and put my brother on speakerphone, tapping the reply button as my eyes begin to flutter shut. My body clearly isn’t on the same page with my brain, which is screaming that professional bridesmaids don’t get to nap. Dear Amy, Thanks so much for taking the time to write to me. Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! It’s great to hear about your interest in having me as a professional bridesmaid at your wedding, especially since you’ve had some problems with your maid of honor. I’m very sorry about that, by the way. I’d be happy to see what I can do to help between now and September. I would love to jump on a call with you to chat more about this. Please let me know when is best for you. All my love, Jen Glantz “I really hope she says yes, Jay. I think I could really be there for her. I think I could really help.

I get a call one day from both of them on speakerphone, asking me how to use "they" pronouns. These questions never fail to make my day. And remind me that it was the right decision to tell them l'm gay.

Taryn, Trey wants to talk to you. I’m going to put him on speakerphone.” “Taryn, tell me you’re okay, baby,” he demanded through his teeth. “I’m fine, really, we’re—” “What the hell happened? Where’re the bastards? Did they touch you, Taryn? Tell me they didn’t touch you. I swear to God I’ll—

Daily Gratitude: 1) Completing the first piece of my collection 2) The speakerphone function 3) Christian early nights Christian

Fine. But make it quick.” “That’s what she said.” “Yes. That is literally what she just said. I’m putting you on speakerphone.

The photographer raises his camera. I paste on a smile. My posture is strong. God grant me the confidence of someone having an entire conversation on speakerphone in public. "Ready?" Yui asks, eyes shrewd. She won't go easy on me. I don't want her to. I'm up for it. I've stepped out of the Mount Shasta lane, skipped over the princess road, and on to a path of my own making. From here on out, I'll blaze my own trail. It won't be easy to balance imperial responsibilities, uphold traditions, and stay true to myself. But it can be done. I will it to be so. I nod. "Let's begin.

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