Spare Book Funny Quotes

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In my spare time I like to stare at shit. I mean, not literally. I like to stare at the TV, or the Internet, or a book, or cat videos. There’s a lot of sitting very still and not moving involved. I suspect in a former life I was probably a statue because I am profoundly good at it.
Jenny Lawson (Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things)
Using Facebook is like taking a Dyson to your spare time.
Gemini Adams (The Facebook Diet: 50 Funny Signs of Facebook Addiction and Ways to Unplug with a Digital Detox)
Victor and I have different ideas about what we should do in our spare time. In my spare time I like to stare at shit. I mean, not literally. I like to stare at the TV, or the Internet, or a book, or cat videos. There’s a lot of sitting very still and not moving involved. I suspect in a former life I was probably a statue because I am profoundly good at it.
Jenny Lawson (Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things)
own. Save a parrot’s tree. Save ten. Without our help, without needed legislative protection and worldwide consciousness-raising on their behalf, parrots will be lost in short years to come. It is fitting to end this book with this succinct summation from Wayne Pacelle, president of the Humane Society of the United States:   We are at an odd moment in history. There are more people in this country sensitized to animal protection issues than ever before. The Humane Society of the United States alone has 8 million members, and in addition, there are more than 5,000 other groups devoted to animal protection. At the same time, there are more animals being harmed than ever before—in industrial agriculture, research and testing, and the trade in wild animals. It is pitiful that our society still condones keeping millions of parrots and other wild birds as pets—wild animals that should be free to fly and instead are languishing in cages, with more being bred every day. It’s an issue of supply and demand and it’s also an issue of right and wrong. Animals suffer in confinement, and we have a moral obligation to spare them from needless suffering. Every person can make a difference every day for animals by making compassionate choices in the marketplace: don’t buy wild animals as pets, whether they are caught from the wild or bred in captivity. If we spare the life of just one animal, it’s a 100% positive impact for that creature. If we can solve the larger bird trade problem, it will be 100% positive for all parrots and other wild birds in the U.S. and beyond our borders. I believe we will look back in 50 -75 years and say “How could we as a society countenance things like the decades long imprisonment of extraordinarily intelligent animals like parrots?” Acknowledgments For this work, which took more than two and a half years to research and write, I amassed thousands of documents and conducted several hundred interviews with leading scientists, environmentalists, paleontologists, ecological economists, conservationists, global warming experts, federal law enforcement officers, animal control officers, avian researchers, avian rescuers, veterinarians, breeders, pet bird owners, bird clubs, pet bird industry executives and employees, sanctuaries and welfare organizations, legislators, and officials with the Convention on International Trade in Endangered Species of Wild Fauna and Flora (CITES), and other sources in the United States and around the world.
Mira Tweti (Of Parrots and People: The Sometimes Funny, Always Fascinating, and Often Catastrophic Collision of Two Intelligent Species)
To this hyperaerobicized, kale-munching crowd, Annie’s spare tire was about as funny as cancer or female genital mutilation.
Kathy Cooperman (Crimes Against a Book Club)
Ohhhhhhhhhh The King’s hair is quite fair, And his smile’s all there. Yet beside of all this, The King has no heir! Foooooooooor The King is not there, down there. No the King is not there, down there. Aaaaaaaaaaaaall The maids are so pretty, And some even witty! But still no heir is there, And say so my ditty! The King is not there, down there. No the King is not there, down there. Sooooooooooo Don’t hang your brother, For the sake of your mother! Cuz we’ve still no heir to spare, Unless she whelped another! Whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy The king is not there, down there. No, the King is not there, down there.
L.P. Cowling (Gearpox (Remnants of Magic Cycle Book 1))
Okay, a lot of pee came out. ALRIGHT! I PEED SO MUCH I HAD TO CHANGE MY PANTS! There, are you happy now? It’s funny, okay? And it isn’t all about vomit and farts either (okay, a lot of it is about vomit and farts, but what’s wrong with that?) *Every Monday at school, Reggie writes an essay that begins with “On the weekend…” WARNING: You might want to have a spare pair of undies handy while you read about Reggie's weekends.*
Lee M. Winter (What Reggie Did on the Weekend: Seriously! (The Reggie Books, #1))
To this hyperaerobicized, kale-munching crowd, Annie’s spare tire was about as funny as cancer or female genital mutilation. Annie
Kathy Cooperman (Crimes Against a Book Club)