“
A Christmas Truce
What would I like for Christmas?
A close friend wants to know.
Perfume? A clock? A spa day?
Some tickets for a show?
‘I need ideas by Monday,’
She huffs, as if I’m not
Sufficiently respectful
Of her present-buying slot,
Which will expire by Tuesday,
Her harried tone implies.
Art books? Posh wine? New teapot?
Brainstorm! Prioritise!
What do I want for Christmas?
I want you not to ask.
I’d rather get no gifts at all
Than be assigned the task
Of emailing a wish list
(One I must first create)
To all my friends and family
Before a certain date.
Can I propose a Christmas truce
To make my dreams come true?
Create no work for me and I’ll
Create no work for you.
I’ve got enough possessions –
Shoes, coats, a diamond ring –
I want not to be asked to do
A time-consuming thing.
Yes, that’s a proper present –
Abstract, but no less real.
What do you mean it seems as if
I don’t care how you feel?
ALL RIGHT! I’ll have a teapot.
What? Then wrap it in a fleece.
Yes, I will ring to say it got here
Safely, in one piece.
”
”