Slam Book Funny Quotes

He checked out his surrounding. More books. A drinking fountain. A poster showing a guy slam-dunking a basketball with one hand and holding a book in the other, urging kids to READ! Weird, thought Steve. How can he even see the hoop? ... You see, Steven, Librarians are the most elite, best trained secret force in the United States of America. Probably in the world." "No way." "Yes way." "What about the FBI?" "Featherweights." "The CIA?" Mackintosh snorted. "Don't make me laugh. Those guys can't even dunk a basketball andd read a book at the same time.

This world has three kinds of people. The ones who can count, and the ones who can’t.

During those days before the girl from the lake was finally buried in her hometown, Jay had been the one who kept Violet sane. He slipped candy bars into her backpack for her to find and left little notes in her locker just to let her know he was thinking about her. She leaned on him every step of the way, and he never once complained. And afterward, when she felt back to her old self again, at least mostly anyway, he was still there. She wondered what she’d done to deserve a friend like him, someone who never wavered and never questioned. Someone who was always there . . . being supportive, and funny, and thoughtful. Violet stood in the hallway and watched him. He was digging through his locker looking for his math book, and even though she knew it wasn’t there, Violet just let him search, smiling to herself. Crumpled wads of paper fell out onto the floor at his feet. He seemed to sense that she was staring and he looked back at her. “What?” he asked. “Nothing,” she responded, the smile finding her lips. He narrowed his eyes, realizing that he was the butt of some private joke. “What?” She sighed and kicked a toe at his backpack, which was lying crookedly against the wall of lockers. “Your book’s in your bag, dumbass,” she announced as she turned away and started walking toward class. She heard him groan, followed by the sound of his locket slamming, before he finally caught up with her. “Why didn’t you say anything? Sometimes you really piss me off.” It was easy to ignore the harsh words when his tone was anything but scolding. She shrugged. “It’s fun to watch you scramble.” “Yeah, fun. That’s what I was thinking.

The door creaked open a tiny bit to reveal a nitwit villager peeking through. Kate’s hopes soared when she thought they might actually get to talk to someone. They crashed down when the door slammed shut. “Hmph. Like funny stuff,” the nitwit said. “Hey buddy, what’s your name?” Jack asked through the door again. “You tell me joke, I tell you name.” Jack smirked, looking at Kate, who looked utterly defeated. He lifted his hand and knocked twice. “Who’s dere?” “Spell.” “Spell who?” Jack snorted. “W.H.O.” The nitwit paused for a long moment, then suddenly laughed. “Oh dat good one! So smart! My name Fred.

You're so fat you can’t even do the ABC’s, just the KFC’s.

Money talks. For instance, mine keeps saying “good bye.

man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push. "Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not, it’s 3am in the morning and it’s well pouring with rain out there!" "Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can’t you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!  "God loves drunk people too you know." The man does as he is told, gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?" "Yes," comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband. "Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.

Clenching my fists, his subsequent snore emphasises my suspicions. He has been sleeping on the job. I put my hands on my hips and glide over to him. I have one intent in mind. Picking up the book next to his elbow, I slam it down on the table. There are definitely some perks to being able to manipulate objects. Adam’s reaction is priceless. “W…w….what? W…where? W…why?” He stammers, blinking frantically. One hand flies to his heart, which he clutches dramatically and he raises his other to his forehead, wiping his brow. When he realises who has disturbed him and what I have done, he scowls at me. “Why did you do that?” He snaps, rubbing his eyes. He yawns at the end, meaning that I definitely can’t take him seriously. “I was enjoying that dream.” At hearing his answer, I roll my eyes. Part of me is tempted to interrogate him, to find what he was dreaming about exactly. The other rational and sensible part wins, meaning that I thrust the book in his direction, winding him considerably. He throws me a sharp glare, which ends in a grimace. The book juts sharply into his ribs. “You should be reading NOT sleeping!” I retort, making sure that the book digs harder into his chest. I give it one last push. “So get going.

It was infuriating to watch the beast of a man look so at ease with a book, while my anxiety wouldn’t let my body or mind relax in the slightest. His low chuckle at whatever he’d just read in his book was my last straw. I grabbed the nearest pillow and threw it as hard as I could. The resounding thud as the pillow slammed into his face was therapeutic. I should probably go take my aggressions out in our training center, but that required more effort than I cared to exert right then. “What the hell, Taya?” Augie screeched as he held his nose. “You were enjoying yourself too much. Seemed like a good idea to share my suffering with you. I feel better now. Thanks for that.” “You’re certifiable. You know that, right?” I shrugged my shoulders. “You love me anyway.” “Fortunately for you, yes, I do.” I went back to pacing and Augie went back to reading while keeping an eye on me in case I decided to throw any more objects at him. Liam and Caleb walked in from the kitchen. They must have come in through the back door, because I was pretty sure they hadn’t been in the house for the last couple hours. Plus, my eyes had barely left the front of the house. There was no way I missed them coming from that way. “Will you guys get her out of here?” Augie complained. “She’s driving me crazy and starting to throw things.” “Thing. I threw one thing, you big baby.” I rolled my eyes at him. Liam and Caleb treaded carefully. Smart men.

I couldn’t hold it in on the elevator and pooped myself. Taking this shit to a whole new level.

I’m really glad you helped me figure out the definition for the word “many.” It meant a lot.

The phrases “I’m sorry” and “I apologize” are exactly the same. Unless you’re saying it at a funeral.

It’s against the law to slam your car door in Switzerland.