Shrek Quotes

We've searched our database for all the quotes and captions related to Shrek. Here they are! All 34 of them:

I find myself fascinated by a man who admits to enjoying fairy tales and uses the word "impinge"- barely misses a beat while indulging in a brief girl-on-girl fantasy. You're a man of layers, Ford." Me and Shrek, we're onions.
Nora Roberts (Tribute)
You can love a monster, it can even love you back, but that doesn’t change its nature. This isn’t Beauty and the Beast where my kiss would transform the monster to a prince. If anything, it’s Shrek, and his kiss brings out the ogre in me.
Eliza Crewe (Crushed (Soul Eaters, #2))
Did you ever see anybody so disgusting: said lightning to thunder, "never," growled thunder, "let's give him the works.
William Steig (Shrek!)
Fiona, it’s me, Shrek. I rescued you from your tower to prove I’ll fight for us. I’ll fight for us every single time. You’ll never even have to wonder if I’ll be there, because I’ll show the fuck up before that thought can even cross your mind. I want you, Ronin, and I’ll risk everything for you. I will never walk out on you.
J.A. Huss (Panic (Rook and Ronin, #3))
Mishaque was a stouty blend of Irish "shrek" mixed with crazy Jafakain, his front was car dealing.
Saira Viola (Slide, a Modern Satire on the Excess of Greed)
Most things that pop into my head are really weird, like that one time when I thought about Shrek in Victoria's Secret underwear.
Sara Wolf (Savage Delight (Lovely Vicious, #2))
It's not ogre... it's never ogre... shrek is love... shrek is life.
Shrek is love Shrek is life
I can’t remember how long it’s been since we’ve seen such a fab show! This was drama-tastic! Better than Romeo and Juliet. Better than The Sound of Music, South Park, Trueblood, Dexter, My Little Pony, and Shrek put together!
Mimi Jean Pamfiloff (Accidentally Married to...a Vampire? (Accidentally Yours, #2))
And they lived horribly ever after, scaring the socks off all who fell afoul of them.
William Steig (Shrek!)
Maybe someday I’ll play a video game that changes my mind, but right now I think that all the story a video game needs is: Go save the princess. And that’s the exact story to one of the highest-selling video game franchises: Shrek.
James Rallison (The Odd 1s Out: The First Sequel)
Marilyn Monroe is pissing me off, Charlie Chaplin owes me twenty bucks, that fucker Shrek tried to fuck my girlfriend at Baskin Robbins.
David Louden (Heroes of Hollywood Boulevard)
His mother was ugly and his father was ugly, but Shrek was uglier than the two of them put together. By the time he toddled, Shrek could spit flame a full ninety-nine yards and vent smoke from either ear.
William Steig (Shrek!)
I'm just wondering why people stay together," I say. "Why they connect in the first place, and what keeps that connection is strong. I want it to be all things inside---who you are, what you believe. But what if the things on the outside are just as important? When I was little, I was always worried I'd fall in love with someone ugly. Like Shrek. Then I figured that love would make anyone beautiful to me, if I love them enough. I want to believe that. I want to believe that you can love someone so strongly that none of it will matter. But what if it does?
David Levithan (Another Day (Every Day, #2))
I'm not the one with the problem its the world who seems to have a problem with me
Shrek movie
Otchky-potchky, itchky-pitch, Pay attention to this witch. A donkey takes you to a knight -- Him you conquer in a fight. Then you wed a princess who Is even uglier than you. Ha ha ha and cockadoodle, The magic words are 'Apple Strudel
William Steig (Shrek!)
It's so good of you to love them. The Beast, Shrek, the Ugly Duckling and eventual swan. The woman in the wheel chair, the main who wears the mask. I could never do that. And if you do it, that means I don't have to."
Amanda Leduc (Disfigured: On Fairy Tales, Disability, and Making Space)
Onions have layers, Ogres have layers. You get it? We both have layers!
Shrek
Shrek Kermit the frog Green Giant Green Arrow Grinch Yoda Ninja Turtles And Oscar the Grouch They’re real cool. And they’re greeeeeeen!
Pixel Kid (Diary of a Minecraft Creeper Book 1: Creeper Life)
BACHELOR NUMBER ONE IS A NO-GO, she texted Trish. HE TALKED TOO MUCH. Within seconds, Trish texted back. ISN’T TALKING A GOOD THING ON A FIRST DATE? Of course, Trish was trying to put a positive spin on things. As the happily-married-with-child best friend of a single, thirty-three-year-old woman, it was part of the job description. AS IN, DONKEY FROM SHREK TOO MUCH, Sidney typed back. OUCH. THAT’S NOT GOOD. No kidding.
Julie James (It Happened One Wedding (FBI/US Attorney, #5))
People change for each other all the time. Take any love story, any great love story at all, and you'll see that people have to be willing to change if they're going to make things work out. Like Shrek, when Fiona tells Shrek that she's sick of his burping and farting and everything. And Shrek's like, 'I'm an ogre. Deal with it.' And Fiona says, 'What if I can't?' So Shrek takes that potion that turns him into a hunky prince. He does it out of love for Fiona.
Lauren Myracle
We can put the mattress on the floor and I'll sleep on the box springs. That okay, princess?" "That's okay." "Have you seen Shrek? The cartoon?" "No, why?" "Because you remind me of Princess Fiona. Not quite as curvy, of course." "Of course." "C'mon... give me a hand? This mattress weighs a ton." "You're right," she groaned. "What the hell is in here?" "Generations of peasants who died of fatigue." "Charming.
Anna Gavalda (Hunting and Gathering)
Shrek.
John Etzil (Fatal Justice (Jack Lamburt, #1))
SHREK Written by William Steig & Ted Elliott SHREK Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this dreadful prison, but non prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower for her true love and true love's first kiss. (laughs) Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of - (toilet flush) Allstar - by Smashmouth begins to play. Shrek goes about his day. While in a nearby town, the villagers get together to go after the ogre. NIGHT - NEAR SHREK'S HOME MAN1 Think it's in there? MAN2 All right. Let's get it! MAN1 Whoa. Hold on. Do you know what that thing can do to you? MAN3 Yeah, it'll grind your bones for it's bread. Shrek sneaks up behind them and laughs. SHREK Yes, well, actually, that would be a giant. Now, ogres, oh they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly peeled skin. MEN No! SHREK They'll shave your liver. Squeeze the jelly from your eyes! Actually, it's quite good on toast. MAN1 Back! Back, beast! Back! I warn ya! (waves the torch at Shrek.) Shrek calmly licks his fingers and extinguishes the torch. The men shrink back away from him. Shrek roars very loudly and long and his breath extinguishes all the remaining torches until the men are in the dark. SHREK This is the part where you run away. (The men scramble to get away. He laughs.) And stay out! (looks down and picks up a piece of paper. Reads.) "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures."(He sighs and throws the paper over his shoulder.)
Lois Lowry (The Giver (The Giver, #1))
Company, Jeffrey Katzenberg not only won $280 million in compensation; he cofounded Dream-Works SKG, a Disney competitor that went on to release the highly successful movie Shrek. Not only did the movie make fun of Disney’s fairy tales, but its villain is also apparently a parody of the head of Disney at the time (and Katzenberg’s former boss), Michael Eisner. Now that you know Shrek’s background, I recommend you revisit the movie to see just how
Dan Ariely (The Upside of Irrationality: The Unexpected Benefits of Defying Logic at Work and at Home)
Dear Miss Know-It-All, I worked really hard to make the eighth-grade cheerleading team this year, but the other cheerleaders treat me like I don’t belong. I never get to do much cheering or dancing like they do. The only time the team captain needs me is when we do the human pyramid, and she always puts me at the bottom! I have to hold the most people on my back, which is totally excruciating, and if I lose my balance, the whole pyramid collapses and everyone bullies me about it! I’m tired of those girls walking all over me. Literally! I don’t know what I did to deserve this kind of treatment, but it’s pretty obvious they all hate my guts. ! I’m majorly frustrated! I don’t know if I should quit the team, confront my teammates, or just keep quiet so I don’t make things worse. I really don’t want to give up my dream of making varsity! What would you do?? —Cheerless Cheerleader * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear Cheerless Cheerleader, Hon . . . I think you’re kidding yourself if you think you made the cheerleading team based on your awesome moves. My reliable source on the team told me your tryout routine was HOR-REN-DOUS. She said she couldn’t tell if you were trying to dance or going into convulsions! Your backflips were BACKFLOPS, your cartwheels were FLAT TIRES, and your dismount was totally DISGUSTING! Get the picture? You were chosen for one reason, and one reason alone—you look like a sturdy ogre who can carry a lot of weight! It’s been a long tradition for cheerleading captains to hand-pick strong, ugly girls for the bottom of the pyramid. Didn’t you know that?? Quit taking everything so personally! Just accept that the bottom is where you belong, sweetie! You should hold your green, Shrek-looking head high that someone actually wants you for something. Bet that doesn’t happen often! Yay you! Sincerely, Miss Know-It-All P.S. My source wants you to stop dancing. She says you’re giving the squad NIGHT TERRORS!
Rachel Renée Russell (Dork Diaries: Drama Queen)
Since the publicity campaigns for these blockbusters have proven effective in the popcorn economy, studios recycle their elements into endless sequels, such as those for Spider-Man, Pirates of the Caribbean, Shrek, and Mission Impossible, which then become the studios’ franchises on which they earn almost all their profits.
Edward Jay Epstein (The Hollywood Economist 2.0: The Hidden Financial Reality Behind the Movies)
Mother Mary wants to draft two more kids,” Astrid told Sam. “Okay. Approved.” “Dahra says we’re running low on kids’ Tylenol and kids’ Advil, she wants to make sure it’s okay to start giving them split adult pills.” Sam spread his hands in a helpless gesture. “What?” “We’re running low on kid pills, Dahra wants to split adult pills.” Sam rocked back in the leather chair designed for a grown man. “Okay. Whatever. Approved.” He took a sip of water from a bottle. The wrapper on the bottle said “Dasani” but it was tap water. The dishes from dinner—horrible homemade split-pea soup that smelled burned, and a quarter cabbage each—had been pushed aside onto the sideboard where in the old days the mayor of Perdido Beach had kept framed pictures of his family. It was one of the better meals Sam had had lately. The fresh cabbage tasted surprisingly good. There was little more than smears on the plates: the era of kids not eating everything was over. Astrid puffed out her cheeks and sighed. “Kids are asking why Lana isn’t around when they need her.” “I can only ask Lana to heal big things. I can’t demand she be around 24/7 to handle every boo-boo.” Astrid looked at the list she had compiled on her laptop. “Actually, I think this involved a stubbed toe that ‘hurted.’” “How much more is on the list?” Sam asked. “Three hundred and five items,” Astrid said. When Sam’s face went pale, she relented. “Okay, it’s actually just thirty-two. Now, don’t you feel relieved it’s not really three hundred?” “This is crazy,” Sam said. “Next up: the Judsons and the McHanrahans are fighting because they share a dog, so both families are feeding her—they still have a big bag of dry dog food—but the Judsons are calling her Sweetie and the McHanrahans are calling her BooBoo.” “You’re kidding.” “I’m not kidding,” Astrid said. “What is that noise?” Sam demanded. Astrid shrugged. “I guess someone has their stereo cranked up.” “This is not going to work, Astrid.” “The music?” “This. This thing where every day I have a hundred stupid questions I have to decide. Like I’m everyone’s parent now. I’m sitting here listening to how little kids are complaining because their older sisters make them take a bath, and stepping into fights over who owns which Build-A-Bear outfit, and now over dog names. Dog names?” “They’re all still just little kids,” Astrid said. “Some of these kids are developing powers that scare me,” Sam grumbled. “But they can’t decide who gets to have which special towel? Or whether to watch The Little Mermaid or Shrek Three?” “No,” Astrid said. “They can’t. They need a parent. That’s you.
Michael Grant (Hunger (Gone, #2))
David and Eva kissed again, their eyes telegraphing something about how it would be later that night when they were alone. Then Eva took Magnus' hand and they walked off, waving one last time. David remained on the sidewalk, watching them. What if I never see them again... The usual fear gripped him. God had been too good to him, there'd been a mistake, he had got more than he deserved. Now it would all be taken away. Eva and Magnus disappeared around the corner and an impulse told him to run after them, stop them. Say, "Come on. Let's go home. We'll watch Shrek, we'll play Monopoly, we...can't let ourselves be separated." The usual fears, but worse than usual.
John Ajvide Lindqvist
! I’m majorly frustrated! I don’t know if I should quit the team, confront my teammates, or just keep quiet so I don’t make things worse. I really don’t want to give up my dream of making varsity! What would you do?? —Cheerless Cheerleader * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * Dear Cheerless Cheerleader, Hon . . . I think you’re kidding yourself if you think you made the cheerleading team based on your awesome moves. My reliable source on the team told me your tryout routine was HOR-REN-DOUS. She said she couldn’t tell if you were trying to dance or going into convulsions! Your backflips were BACKFLOPS, your cartwheels were FLAT TIRES, and your dismount was totally DISGUSTING! Get the picture? You were chosen for one reason, and one reason alone—you look like a sturdy ogre who can carry a lot of weight! It’s been a long tradition for cheerleading captains to hand-pick strong, ugly girls for the bottom of the pyramid. Didn’t you know that?? Quit taking everything so personally! Just accept that the bottom is where you belong, sweetie! You should hold your green, Shrek-looking head high that someone actually wants you for something. Bet that doesn’t happen often! Yay you! Sincerely, Miss Know-It-All P.S. My source wants you to stop dancing. She says you’re giving the squad NIGHT TERRORS! * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Rachel Renée Russell (Tales from a Not-So-Happily Ever After! (Dork Diaries, #8))
Today we denounce such practices as inhuman and reject as irrational the belief that the spilling of innocent blood literally affected the outcome of harvests and military battles. Yet we continue to offer our own children on the altar of homeland security, sending them off to die in ambiguous wars, based on the irrational belief that by being violent we can protect ourselves from violence. We refer to our children’s deaths as “sacrifices” which are necessary for the preservation of democracy and free trade. The market is our temple and it must be protected at all costs. Thus, like King Mesha, we make “sacrifices” in order to ensure the victory of capitalism over socialism, the victory of consumerism over terrorism. Our high priests tell us that it is necessary to make sacrifices if we are going to continue to have the freedom to shop. Unlike King Mesha, however, in our day it is rarely the king’s own son who is sacrificed; rather, the king sacrifices the sons and daughters of the poor in order to protect an economy whose benefits the poor do not reap. (As Shrek’s Lord Farquaad so profoundly put it, “Some of you may die, but that is a sacrifice I am willing to make.”) Like martyrs, our children are valorized because of their willingness to sacrifice their lives in yet another war waged to rid the world of war. We invest their deaths with meaning by forcing ourselves to believe, despite all evidence to the contrary, that their blood affects the productivity of the market and protects a multitude from the threat of violence.
Thom Stark (The Human Faces of God: What Scripture Reveals When It Gets God Wrong (and Why Inerrancy Tries To Hide It))
Would you rather have Shrek’s donkey as your best friend ☐ or ☐ Micky Mouse as enemy who steals your food every day?
Mr. Bryanzy (Would You Rather Book for Kids – You Laugh You Lose Challenge)
Remember your skin is like an onion — it's got many layers.
Gloria Lu (Skincare Decoded: The Practical Guide to Beautiful Skin)
No-one would mess with a detective that looked like a pissed-off Shrek
Chris Carter (The Crucifix Killer (Robert Hunter, #1))
Trey was resolved that he wasn’t going on that thing. Until she tugged his head down to hers and whined, “Please?” She even pouted her bottom lip. The transformation reminded him of when Puss In Boots from the Shrek movies went from trained killer to helpless kitten. And, just for good measure, she ground against his cock, which was still semihard from having watched her on the rodeo bull. “You’re dangerous.” Wearing a self-satisfied smile, she kissed him smack on the lips. “I knew you’d do me proud.
Suzanne Wright (Feral Sins (The Phoenix Pack, #1))