Scott Pilgrim Quotes

Scott, if your life had a face, I would punch it. I would punch your life in the face.

This song is for the guy who keeps yelling from the balcony, and it's called, 'We hate you, please die.

What kind of tea do you want?" "There´s more than one kind of tea?...What do you have?" "Let´s see... Blueberry, Raspberry, Ginseng, Sleepytime, Green Tea, Green Tea with Lemon, Green Tea with Lemon and Honey, Liver Disaster, Ginger with Honey, Ginger Without Honey, Vanilla Almond, White Truffle Coconut, Chamomile, Blueberry Chamomile, Decaf Vanilla Walnut, Constant Comment and Earl Grey." -"I.. Uh...What are you having?... Did you make some of those up?

We are Sex Bob-Omb and we are here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff!

Let's be friends based on mutual hate.

Listen to this, okay? Just listen. You hear that? That's market bacon hitting the pan. Today a child is born unto us, and his name will be bacon.

Okay, this might sound vague, but do you know this one girl with hair like this?

Anyway, how are you and Ramona doing?' Uh... you know. Pretty good.' Have you said the L-Word yet?' The L-Word? You mean? Lesbian?' Uh... No. The other L-Word.' ?' Okay. Uh, It's "love." I wasn't trying to trick you or anything.

Tell it to the cleaning lady on Monday. Because you'll be dust on Monday. Because I'll be pulverizing you sometime over the weekend. And the cleaning lady... cleans up... dust. She dusts. And she has weekends off, so... Monday. Right?

Scott: I don't think I'm ready to be a grown-up. Kim: I don't think you are either, buddy. But hey, you'll get it. It just takes practice.

Do you want to have sex? I think we should have sex. CASUAL sex.

bread makes you fat??

You suck, surprising no one!!!! If bad was a boot, you'd fit it!!!! You're a stupid poo-poo head! I had sexual relations with your mother! Your mother was not that good in bed! You, sir, are a wretched soul! I am rubber, you are glue!

I need some kind of... like... last minute, poorly-set-up deus ex machina!!

Oh, hey, maybe I should have mentioned that my friends are retarded douchebags.

Somehow the pantsless gay man is not bringing the romance, Scott.

Are we letting her drink beer again?" "Hell yes we are, and it's hilarious.

Stephen... you know how, when a baby is first born, it just cries at the sheer horror of being alive?

I feel like im in this river just getting swept along... And if I hold on to anyone, if I'm holding on for dear life, I'm not getting anywhere. I'm stuck. ...I never wanted to get stuck

Kim: "What, a coffee? Hollie, I have some bad news. I hate you, okay?" Hollie: "You hate everyone, Kim." Kim: "You're one of everyone.

You stole him with your advanced American slut technology! You're not nice!

Kim: Hey... There's a guy over there with a samurai sword. Scott: Really? Like a katana or a wakizashi or both?

These shoes are Mr Silly's shoes, Scott.

When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case, I do them all the time. All of them" - Scott Pilgrim vs. the World

She’s their secret weapon! They call her Trasha, and she’s eight years old. I hear they discovered her at the Pacific Mall arcade, playing Drum-Mania. She has so much A.D.D., it’s not even funny.

Let's be friends based on mutual hate." - Wallace Wells "Listen to this, okay? Just listen. You hear that? That's' market bacon hitting the pan. Today a child is born unto us, and his name will be bacon." - Wallace Wells

Alright, go away. I have a tiny world to save.

I'll love you forever. And I have dipping sauce for you! I'll be your dipping sauce bitch!

We have a mutual friend, see, and she- Ah, screw it. This is Gideon. When would it be convenient for you to die?

Obviously one of us went to Professor Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters and one of us didn't." "Obviously one of is a total nerd.

Scott, you are the salt of the earth. Oh, I'm sorry, excuse me. I meant scum of the earth.

Can we go out sometime? Or, I mean, I mean... Can we maybe just hang out? Can we get to know each other? You're new in town, right? I've lived here forever-- I mean-- I mean... there are... reasons... for you to hang out with me?

Gilded palace of Flying Burritos Excellent Nouveau Mexican Cuisine We all got to wear Swank-Ass Nudie Suits I should have known it was a lousy pipe dream Ohhh, Ohhh, what an awesome job Ohhh, Ohhh, what do I do now?? Ohh, Ohhhhh, it's like I've been robbed Spent the last of my paycheque And I'm feelin' pretty downnnnn!!

Dude... Things never were the same. Change is... It's what we get. I guess that's my problem - I'm always trying to beat the clock; outrun the universe... Like nothing can change me, as long as I change first. I feel like I'm in this river, just getting swept along... And if I hold on to anyone, if I'm holding on for dear life, I'm not getting anywhere. I'm stuck... I never wanted to get stuck.

What kind of idiot would knowingly date a girl named Knives?

Oh boo-hoo, pussy boy.

Those two make my mouth taste like throw up.

When I'm around you, I kind of feel like I'm on drugs. Not that I do drugs. Unless you do drugs, in which case I do them all the time. All of them.

She's his kid sister, but... I guess it's like she got sucked into this alternate dimension when she was little? And this demon guy taught her all this black magic and, like, twisted her soul.

Oh, shut up. You're not alone. You're just having some idiotic dream.

Ramona V. Flowers: What kind of tea do you want? Scott Pilgrim: There´s more than one kind of tea?...What do you have?

I've had a weird couple of weeks, you know?" "I completely know". "But I- I mean, I'm not totally happy, but there's no way I'd go back to my old obvious self! I like it here. I like all the... confusion and heartbreak". "It wasn't that bad... was it?" "Scott... yes, it was. But I feel like I've learned some stuff along the way. I know things now".

Didn't you know? Todd's vegan.

Scott! If we had a band, we would be cool. Even if we sucked! We would transcend our class status or whatever, and become automatically cool.

I was like this totally serious kid, and this totally angsty teenager. I probably only smiled and laughed when I was deluded into thinking it would make some jerk like me.

Since we are not yet fully comfortable with the idea that people from the next village are as human as ourselves, it is presumptuous in the extreme to suppose we could ever look at sociable, tool-making creatures who arose from other evolutionary paths and see not beasts but brothers, not rivals by fellow pilgrims journeying to the shrine of intelligence. Yet that is what I see, or yearn to see. The difference between raman and varelse is not in the creature judged but in the creature judging, and when we declare an alien species to be raman, it does not mean that they have passed a threshold of moral maturity. It means that we have.

REINHOLD JOBS. Wisconsin-born Coast Guard seaman who, with his wife, Clara, adopted Steve in 1955. REED JOBS. Oldest child of Steve Jobs and Laurene Powell. RON JOHNSON. Hired by Jobs in 2000 to develop Apple’s stores. JEFFREY KATZENBERG. Head of Disney Studios, clashed with Eisner and resigned in 1994 to cofound DreamWorks SKG. ALAN KAY. Creative and colorful computer pioneer who envisioned early personal computers, helped arrange Jobs’s Xerox PARC visit and his purchase of Pixar. DANIEL KOTTKE. Jobs’s closest friend at Reed, fellow pilgrim to India, early Apple employee. JOHN LASSETER. Cofounder and creative force at Pixar. DAN’L LEWIN. Marketing exec with Jobs at Apple and then NeXT. MIKE MARKKULA. First big Apple investor and chairman, a father figure to Jobs. REGIS MCKENNA. Publicity whiz who guided Jobs early on and remained a trusted advisor. MIKE MURRAY. Early Macintosh marketing director. PAUL OTELLINI. CEO of Intel who helped switch the Macintosh to Intel chips but did not get the iPhone business. LAURENE POWELL. Savvy and good-humored Penn graduate, went to Goldman Sachs and then Stanford Business School, married Steve Jobs in 1991. GEORGE RILEY. Jobs’s Memphis-born friend and lawyer. ARTHUR ROCK. Legendary tech investor, early Apple board member, Jobs’s father figure. JONATHAN “RUBY” RUBINSTEIN. Worked with Jobs at NeXT, became chief hardware engineer at Apple in 1997. MIKE SCOTT. Brought in by Markkula to be Apple’s president in 1977 to try to manage Jobs.

Plutarch's Lives, Meditations of Marcus Aurelius, Chaucer, Imitation of Christ (Thomas a Kempis), Holy Living and Holy Dying (Jeremy Taylor), Pilgrim's Progress, Macaulay's Essays, Bacon's Essays, Addison's Essays, Essays of Elia (Charles Lamb), Les Miserables (Hugo), Heroes and Hero Worship (Carlyle), Palgrave's Golden Treasury, Wordsworth, Vicar of Wakefield, Adam Bede (George Eliot), Vanity Fair (Thackeray), Ivanhoe (Scott), On the Heights (Auerbach), Eugenie Grandet (Balzac), Scarlet Letter (Hawthorne), Emerson's Essays, Boswell's Life of Johnson, History of the English People (Green), Outlines of Universal History, Origin of Species, Montaigne's Essays, Longfellow, Tennyson, Browning, Whittier, Ruskin, Herbert Spencer.

It's called 'You Just Don't Exist.' I'm co-starring with Winifred Hailey. It's like, a romantic comedy.

They are simple activities, common as grass. And they’re sacred. Pilgrims seeking bliss carry water and chop wood, and they’re simple things, too, but if they’re approached with mindfulness and care, with attention to the present and humility, they can provide a portal to transcendence. They can illuminate the path leading to something larger than ourselves.

White caps or white horses. Take your pick. They are the same. They are nature's warning before beaches had flags. I had heard my uncle point them out. It sounded fanciful as the drawings beside poems about giants using pillows for clouds. . . . When my uncle said they were there and we wouldn't be going in his boat that day . . . I didn't understand. White horses, I thought, were my uncle's poetry. Better even than calling the swells on waves "white caps." Pilgrims and nurses wore caps. Who wanted to think of them? White horses were another matter. Brothers to unicorns. Galloping. Long haired and free. I ran into the sea.

He is as hot as the flames of the hell you bitches are going to.

her mother a zealous homeschooler of three, no small thing in the 1980s, when homeschoolers were freakish, cave-dwelling cryptids made to hide under the furniture and read The Pilgrim’s Progress by kerosene lantern to evade county truancy officers. To be a homeschooler back then was hardly different from being in a well-read militia

A GOOD LIBRARY Besides the works mentioned everyone should endeavor to have the following: Plutarch's Lives, Meditations of Marcus Aurelius, Chaucer, Imitation of Christ (Thomas a Kempis), Holy Living and Holy Dying (Jeremy Taylor), Pilgrim's Progress, Macaulay's Essays, Bacon's Essays, Addison's Essays, Essays of Elia (Charles Lamb), Les Miserables (Hugo), Heroes and Hero Worship (Carlyle), Palgrave's Golden Treasury, Wordsworth, Vicar of Wakefield, Adam Bede (George Eliot), Vanity Fair (Thackeray), Ivanhoe (Scott), On the Heights (Auerbach), Eugenie Grandet (Balzac), Scarlet Letter (Hawthorne), Emerson's Essays, Boswell's Life of Johnson, History of the English People (Green), Outlines of Universal History, Origin of Species, Montaigne's Essays, Longfellow, Tennyson, Browning, Whittier, Ruskin, Herbert Spencer. A good encyclopoedia is very desirable and a reliable dictionary indispensable.

If bad were a boot, you'd fit it!

I've never even kissed a guy." "Me neither." "Good to know.

Ooh, go ahead and poke fun at my poor queenology, Canada boy.

Ewww! New girlfriends only want to hear bad stuff about ex-girlfriends, dude, come on.

Scott suddenly realized for the first time, that all second cup exteriors do not lead to the same second cup interior.

Am I just a pussy Ramona? Well... you could be less of one, I guess.

The heart’s metanoia, on the other hand, turns without regret, turns not so much away, as toward, as if the slow pilgrim has been surprised to find that sin is not so bad as it is a waste of time.

Sin is not so bad as it is a waste of time.

People who walk all the way to Santiago from France or somewhere beyond are usually considered pilgrims, but people who skip past the boring bits on a bus or train are lightweights, sight-seers, tourists. “Real pilgrims” take the good with the bad, they accept whatever the trail throws at them. They’re respectful, they carry their necessities and not an ounce more, in a bag strapped on their backs. They keep it simple, they don’t take the easy, or posh alternative. Rain, blisters, fierce dogs, bedbugs, blinding heat or deep snow, they keep walking. They’re vagabonds with a peculiar respectability, and a great deal of self-regard.