Sara Rian Quotes

i see the ghost of every version of you that you didn't live long enough to become

go ahead and ask me if I would choose this life again knowing I would be left with only memories of you and a lifetime of grief. I would answer over and over and over again.

i see them. the ones trying to rush you through your grief. the ones on the sidelines cheering faster, faster. you're almost there. little do they know there is no finish line. little do they know the reason they can't look you in the face is because you remind them that life isn't fair and death isn't either. you are proof that a person can walk around with a gaping heart-sized hole in their chest. your tears are evidence that nightmares are real and sitting in that pain with you is too much. they aren't cheering. they are begging. faster, faster.

your love is not measured by how many breaths they took. if they took any at all. it does not matter how long you had them. a minute or a century. love is not measured by time. and your grief will not be either.

i have not healed. or even finished surviving. i am still no good at grieving and i have not forgiven death. i am no success story. i just choose to talk about it. the way loss tortures us. the way it makes us scared. and furious. and confused. and guilty. so damn guilty. but how it also makes us love. how we push past death and time and continue to adore them. how we fight the shame and taboos no matter how badly our knuckles bleed because grief has been silenced too long. you will still find me in the trenches. i am the one holding out my hand.