“
It isn't ever delicate to live.
”
”
Kay Ryan
“
The day misspent,
the love misplaced,
has inside it
the seed of redemption.
Nothing is exempt
from resurrection.
”
”
Kay Ryan (Say Uncle)
“
I want to sleep, I want dreams to pull me from this world and make me forget. To stop the memories from swirling around me. To put an end to this ache that consumes me.
”
”
Carrie Ryan (The Forest of Hands and Teeth (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #1))
“
I’m confident enough in my masculinity and sexuality that I can say that Ryan Gosling is just dreamy in this movie.
”
”
J. Lynn (Wait for You (Wait for You, #1))
“
Blood is really warm,
it's like drinking hot chocolate
but with more screaming.
”
”
Ryan Mecum (Zombie Haiku: Good Poetry for Your...Brains)
“
You stay safe, You love. You survive. You laugh and cry and struggle and sometimes you fail and sometimes you succeed. You Push.
”
”
Carrie Ryan (The Dead-Tossed Waves (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #2))
“
Aut viam inveniam aut faciam tibi.
I will either find a way or make one.
”
”
Kendall Ryan (Unravel Me (Unravel Me, #1))
“
It's never been a perfect world. It's never going to be. It's going to be hard and scary, and if you're lucky, wonderful and awe-inspiring. But you have to push through the bad parts to get to the good.
”
”
Carrie Ryan (The Dead-Tossed Waves (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #2))
“
Do I have to make a poster and scream Ryan, Ryan?" I kidded.
"The only time I want to hear you scream my name is when I'm making love to you. Although you did call me God the other night. That's acceptable, too.
”
”
Tina Reber (Love Unscripted (Love, #1))
“
What Ryan had learned from this is that your failures keep returning to you, while your successes are something you always have to convince yourself of.
”
”
Rachel Cusk (Outline)
“
I realize that life is risks. It’s acknowledging the past but looking forward. It’s taking a chance that we will
make mistakes but believing that we all deserve to be forgiven.
”
”
Carrie Ryan (The Dead-Tossed Waves (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #2))
“
There is no good or bad without us, there is only perception. There is the event itself and the story we tell ourselves about what it means.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (The Daily Stoic Journal: 366 Days of Writing and Reflection on the Art of Living)
“
Impressing people is utterly different from being truly impressive.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (Ego Is the Enemy)
“
I don't understand how I can know so little about love and how it works. How I can be so bad at it when it's all I've ever wanted.
All I've ever known is about leaving or being left.
”
”
Carrie Ryan (The Dark and Hollow Places (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #3))
“
You’re my best friend,
You’re my love,
You’re my life.
I can’t wait to
make you
my wife!
Love, Ryan
”
”
Tina Reber (Love Unrehearsed (Love, #2))
“
Your potential, the absolute best you’re capable of—that’s the metric to measure yourself against. Your standards are. Winning is not enough. People can get lucky and win. People can be assholes and win. Anyone can win. But not everyone is the best possible version of themselves.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (Ego Is the Enemy)
“
I wants us to be real. I want to be just you and me.
- Ryan
”
”
Elizabeth Scott (The Unwritten Rule)
“
But here’s the thing about family, Ryan…blood doesn’t mean shit. You just need to surround yourself with people who do love you, and they become your family.
”
”
Sarina Bowen (Him (Him, #1))
“
Survivors aren't always the strongest; sometimes they're the smartest, but more often simply the luckiest.
”
”
Carrie Ryan (The Dark and Hollow Places (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #3))
“
Ryan and I are two people who used to be in love.
What a beautiful thing to have been.
What a sad thing to be.
”
”
Taylor Jenkins Reid (After I Do)
“
It's not about surviving. It should be about love. When you know love...that's what makes this life worth it. When you live with it everyday. Wake up with it, hold on to it during the thunder and after a nightmare. When love is your refuge from the death that surrounds us all and when it fills you so tight that you can't express it.
”
”
Carrie Ryan
“
Life is life. You choose to live it or you do not.
”
”
Carrie Ryan (The Dead-Tossed Waves (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #2))
“
I didn't know," he whispered. "I didn't know I could love you so much.
”
”
Christina Lauren (Beautiful Bastard (Beautiful Bastard, #1))
“
The look in her eyes told me that under any other circumstances, I would either already be naked with her on top of me, or lying in a pool of my own blood on the rug.
”
”
Christina Lauren (Beautiful Bastard (Beautiful Bastard, #1))
“
I kissed Ryan, and it charged him up like a freaking Duracell.
”
”
Kelly Oram (Being Jamie Baker (Jamie Baker, #1))
“
Think progress, not perfection.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (The Daily Stoic Journal: 366 Days of Writing and Reflection on the Art of Living)
“
When intelligent people read, they ask themselves a simple question: What do I plan to do with this information?
”
”
Ryan Holiday (Trust Me, I'm Lying: Confessions of a Media Manipulator)
“
Mr. Ryan was going to have my ass. I was twenty minutes late. As I experienced this morning, he hated late. "Late" was a word not found in the Bennett Ryan Dickhead Dictionary. Along with "heart," "kindness," "compassion," "lunch break," or "thank you.
”
”
Christina Lauren (Beautiful Bastard (Beautiful Bastard, #1))
“
The obstacle in the path becomes the path. Never forget, within every obstacle is an opportunity to improve our condition.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph)
“
Those who have subdued their ego understand that it doesn’t degrade you when others treat you poorly; it degrades them.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (Ego Is the Enemy)
“
We forget: In life, it doesn’t matter what happens to you or where you came from. It matters what you do with what happens and what you’ve been given.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph)
“
War is always an adventure to those who've never seen it.
”
”
Anthony Ryan (Blood Song (Raven's Shadow, #1))
“
I think she was afraid to love sometimes. I think it scared her. She was the type to like things that were concrete, like the ocean. Something you could point to and know what it was. I think that's why she always struggled with God. And I think that's why she also struggled with love. She couldn't touch it. She couldn't hold on to it and make sure it never changed.
”
”
Carrie Ryan (The Dead-Tossed Waves (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #2))
“
If you were mine, Iris there would be no doubt what position you’d hold in my life. You’d be center. I’d play you at the five.
”
”
Kennedy Ryan (Long Shot (Hoops, #1))
“
I know is if you’re going to cheat on Silas Nash it had better be with Ryan Gosling.
”
”
Colleen Hoover (Never Never (Never Never, #1))
“
I’ll say, G’day to you, Mr. Ryan!” Catherine said as she quickly closed the door in his face. “Oh, the arrogance,” she growled under her breath, leaning her back up against the closed door. “He thinks he’s so irresistible with his rugged good looks and sexy accent.”
“I’m standing right here, and I can hear you!” came Jake’s muffled words from the other side of the door. “Oh, c’mon love. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I was offending you.
”
”
Diane Merrill Wigginton (A Compromising Position)
“
These were the names she whispered in the dark.
These were the pieces she brought back into place.
These were the wolves she rode to war.
”
”
Ryan Graudin (Wolf by Wolf (Wolf by Wolf, #1))
“
This overwhelming, encompassing feeling is love. It's not perfect and it's messy as hell. And it's exactly what I need.
”
”
Katie McGarry (Dare You To (Pushing the Limits, #2))
“
We are nothing more than our stories and who we love. What we pass on, how we exist … it’s having people remember who we are. We’re terrible at that in this world. At remembering. At passing it on.
”
”
Carrie Ryan (The Dead-Tossed Waves (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #2))
“
We are like the phoenix," said Abuelita. "Rising again, with a new life ahead of us.
”
”
Pam Muñoz Ryan (Esperanza Rising)
“
Most successful people are people you’ve never heard of. They want it that way. It keeps them sober. It helps them do their jobs.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (Ego Is the Enemy)
“
-you can think you know someone and then they say something or do something and suddenly everything changes.
”
”
Carrie Ryan (The Dead-Tossed Waves (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #2))
“
It's one thing to know a truth in your head but another to understand it in your heart.
”
”
Carrie Ryan (The Dark and Hollow Places (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #3))
“
There is no wrong way to perform an act of kindness.
”
”
Catherine Ryan Hyde (Pay It Forward)
“
Focus on the moment, not the monsters that may or may not be up ahead.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph)
“
Who are we if not the stories we pass down? What happens when there's no one left to tell those stories? To hear them? Who will ever know that I existed? What if we are the only ones left -- who will know our stories then? Who will remember those?
”
”
Carrie Ryan (The Forest of Hands and Teeth (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #1))
“
Your comfort zone is a place where you keep yourself in a self-illusion and nothing can grow there but your potentiality can grow only when you can think and grow out of that zone.
”
”
Rashedur Ryan Rahman
“
The more we lose, the more we become the survivors.
”
”
Carrie Ryan (The Dead-Tossed Waves (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #2))
“
Courage is being the only only one who knows how terrified you are.
”
”
Tom Clancy (Red Rabbit (Jack Ryan, #2))
“
Wait, you remember that?"
"Of course I remember that. You sounded like a frat boy and looked like a fucking model. What man could ever forget that?"
"I would have given anything to know what you were thinking right then."
"I was thinking, 'Highly fuckable intern, twelve o'clock. Disengage, soldier. I repeat, disengage.
”
”
Christina Lauren (Beautiful Bastard (Beautiful Bastard, #1))
“
I'd rather be hurt all at once for a specific reason, than be hurt slowly every day.--Ashlyn
”
”
Kendall Ryan (Unravel Me (Unravel Me, #1))
“
The broken ones need someone to fight for them even harder.
”
”
Carrie Ryan (The Dark and Hollow Places (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #3))
“
Where the head goes, the body follows. Perception precedes action. Right action follows the right perspective.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph)
“
I was starting to see that this wasn't just sex, and it wasn't something just working out of my system. Sex was just the fastest route to the deeper possession that I needed. I was falling in love with her, and falling to fast and hard to easily find any footing.
”
”
Christina Lauren (Beautiful Bastard (Beautiful Bastard, #1))
“
You think you want love, Mary. You think it is this beautiful gift that does nothing but fill you and make you whole. But you are wrong. Love can be cruel and ugly. It can become dark and cause the deepest pain.
”
”
Carrie Ryan (The Forest of Hands and Teeth (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #1))
“
So you would literally take a bullet for me."
"No," Claire said, with zero emotion.
"No?" Ryan said, surprised at her answer.
Claire rolled her eyes, annoyed that she had to answer. "If I have time to stand in the way of a bullet, you have time to move.
”
”
Jamie McGuire (Requiem (Providence, #2))
“
I hold the bottle out into the rain and watch as the steady flow slowly fills it. When there is enough, enough that Beth can clearly see, I close the bottle and hand it to her.
She raises a skeptical eyebrow, but accepts the bottle.
"It's our rain Beth."
Her head barely shakes to show her confusion while I rub the back of my neck and search for my courage. "I told you I loved you in this rain and when you doubt my words, I want you to look at this bottle.
”
”
Katie McGarry (Dare You To (Pushing the Limits, #2))
“
He presses his lips to my jaw, to the corner of my mouth, to my ear. "I promise I'll find you again," he whispers. "I promise you I'll remember you. And I promise I'll love you.
”
”
Carrie Ryan (The Dead-Tossed Waves (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #2))
“
Wherever we are, whatever we’re doing and herever we are going, we owe it to ourselves, to our art, to the world to do it well.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph)
“
Life is never that simple. And the fact that it's not that simple to you means only one thing: You're still alive.
”
”
Carrie Ryan (The Dark and Hollow Places (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #3))
“
Suddenly, all I can think about are all the things I don't know about him. All the things I never had time to learn. I don't know if his feet are ticklish or how long his toes are. I don't know what nightmares he had as a child. I don't know which stars are his favorites, what shapes he sees in the clouds. I don't know what he is truly afraid of or what memories he holds closest.
And I don't have enough time now, never enough time. I want to be in the moment with him, feel his body against mine and think of nothing else, but my mind explodes with grief for all that I am missing. All that I will miss. All that I have wasted.
”
”
Carrie Ryan (The Forest of Hands and Teeth (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #1))
“
Ryan Chase was my eighth-grade collage, aspirational and wide-eyed. But Max was the first bite of grilled cheese on a snowy day, the easy fit of my favorite jeans, that one old song that made it onto every playlist. Peanut-butter Girl Scout cookies instead of an ornate cake. Not glamorous or idealized or complicated. Just me.
”
”
Emery Lord (The Start of Me and You (The Start of Me and You, #1))
“
Take them back. Your soul is yours. Your heart is yours. Your body is yours. Yours to keep and yours to share.
”
”
Kennedy Ryan (Long Shot (Hoops, #1))
“
Sometimes it’s the mistakes that turn out to be the
best parts of life,
”
”
Carrie Ryan (The Dead-Tossed Waves (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #2))
“
Almost universally, the kind of performance we give on social media is positive. It’s more “Let me tell you how well things are going. Look how great I am.” It’s rarely the truth: “I’m scared. I’m struggling. I don’t know.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (Ego Is the Enemy)
“
And that’s what is so insidious about talk. Anyone can talk about himself or herself. Even a child knows how to gossip and chatter. Most people are decent at hype and sales. So what is scarce and rare? Silence. The ability to deliberately keep yourself out of the conversation and subsist without its validation. Silence is the respite of the confident and the strong.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (Ego Is the Enemy)
“
The point of life was to press on, to do the best you can, to make the world a better place.
”
”
Tom Clancy (Clear and Present Danger (Jack Ryan, #5))
“
I realize that sometimes death comes before you expect it. That while we are rarely prepared for our friends, family and loved ones to die, we are never prepared for our own deaths. Never prepared to reconcile our own regrets.
”
”
Carrie Ryan (The Forest of Hands and Teeth (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #1))
“
Speaking it aloud would reveal the absurdity of it, and he preferred the dream.
”
”
Anthony Ryan (Blood Song (Raven's Shadow, #1))
“
We should trust people to be exactly what they have proven themselves to be, no more and no less.
”
”
Ryan Winfield (South of Bixby Bridge)
“
I can feel you
staring at me,” he said in the softest wake-up voice I’d ever heard. “I only
hope you’re a girl and not one of the drunken guys.
”
”
Piper Shelly (Play With Me (Grover Beach Team, #1))
“
Greatness comes from humble beginnings; it comes from grunt work. It means you’re the least important person in the room—until you change that with results.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (Ego Is the Enemy)
“
The pretense of knowledge is our most dangerous vice, because it prevents us from getting any better.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (Ego is the Enemy: The Fight to Master Our Greatest Opponent)
“
The wolves of war are gathering. They sing a song of rotten bones.
”
”
Ryan Graudin (Wolf by Wolf (Wolf by Wolf, #1))
“
You’re not as good as you think. You don’t have it all figured out. Stay focused. Do better.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (Ego Is the Enemy)
“
Once upon a different time, there was a girl who lived in a kingdom of death. Wolves howled up her arm. A whole pack of them--made of tattoo ink and pain, memory and loss. It was the only thing about her that ever stayed the same.
”
”
Ryan Graudin (Wolf by Wolf (Wolf by Wolf, #1))
“
If it takes you apart, that's not love. Love puts you back together.
”
”
Catherine Ryan Hyde
“
I can't even tell someone to have a good day without sounding like I secretly wish they'd die.
”
”
Lexi Ryan (These Hollow Vows (These Hollow Vows, #1))
“
The only real failure is abandoning your principles. Killing what you love because you can’t bear to part from it is selfish and stupid. If your reputation can’t absorb a few blows, it wasn’t worth anything in the first place.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (Ego Is the Enemy)
“
I love you, Alexa. I want you and I want our baby. I want this ridiculous hound dog because I've grown to love him, too. I also figured out what I don't want. I don't want to live my life without you. I don't want to be alone anymore. And I don't want to believe I deserve not to have you. And I swear to God, I'll spend the rest of my life making this up to you. - Nicholas Ryan
”
”
Jennifer Probst (The Marriage Bargain (Marriage to a Billionaire, #1))
“
I don’t want to have to be the one who mourns everything when everyone else has clearly forgotten. It’s mortifying. It’s mortifying to be the one who remembers.
”
”
Ryan O'Connell
“
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living: Featuring new translations of Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius)
“
Knowledge is what shapes us, little brothers,” he told them, for once his smile was absent, his tone entirely serious. “It makes us who we are. What we know informs everything we do and every decision we make.
”
”
Anthony Ryan (Blood Song (Raven's Shadow, #1))
“
The Notebook? You own The Notebook?"
Cam stared at me blankly. "What's wrong with that?"
"Oh, nothing is wrong with that. It's just such a...uh, chick flick."
"I'm confident enough in my masculinity and sexuality that I can say that Ryan Gosling is just dreamy in this movie."
My jaw hit the floor.
The blank expression slipped away and he started laughing. "I'm joking. I don't own The Notebook. Never watched it. Didn't bring any romance movies.
”
”
J. Lynn (Wait for You (Wait for You, #1))
“
When success begins to slip from your fingers—for whatever reason—the response isn’t to grip and claw so hard that you shatter it to pieces. It’s to understand that you must work yourself back to the aspirational phase. You must get back to first principles and best practices.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (Ego Is the Enemy)
“
She'd proven to be one of the most aggravating people I'd ever met. Unfortunately for me, she was also the best sex I'd ever had.
Fuck, he'd better never get that far. I wasn't sure I knew where to hide a body around here.
”
”
Christina Lauren (Beautiful Bastard (Beautiful Bastard, #1))
“
Motherhood is about raising and celebrating the child you have, not the child you thought you would have. It's about understanding that he is exactly the person he is supposed to be. And that, if you're lucky, he just might be the teacher who turns you into the person you are supposed to be.
”
”
Joan Ryan (The Water Giver: The Story of a Mother, a Son, and Their Second Chance)
“
Now wait a second..." Kenneth butted in.
"Yeah, we haven't asked you the questions yet," Brandon finished for Kenneth.
"Yeah, like what are your intentions toward our little Ryan," Patrick added, smirking.
"What do you do for a living?" Brandon added.
"Can you support Ryan's shoe fetish?" Kenneth threw his question in too.
"Hmm, okay, here are my answers. I plan on feeding him, dancing with him and God willing fucking him until he can't walk straight. I help infertile chickens have baby chickens, and I think so. I'm hoping his feet are about my size. We can share shoes and everything," Phillip answered.
”
”
Crystal Rose (I'll Be Your Drill, Soldier)
“
When we remove ego, we’re left with what is real. What replaces ego is humility, yes—but rock-hard humility and confidence. Whereas ego is artificial, this type of confidence can hold weight. Ego is stolen. Confidence is earned. Ego is self-anointed, its swagger is artifice. One is girding yourself, the other gaslighting. It’s the difference between potent and poisonous.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (Ego Is the Enemy)
“
Do you still believe that if you truly want something enough it can happen?" I ask. I think of all the times I wanted to stop the world from spinning, all the times I wanted to go back and start over again. All the things I've wanted to undo or take back. Did I not want them enough?
”
”
Carrie Ryan (The Dead-Tossed Waves (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #2))
“
If an emotion can't change the condition or the situation you're dealing with, it is likely an unhelpful emotion. Or, quite possibly, a destructive one. But it's what I feel. Right, no one said anything about not feeling it. No one said you can't ever cry. Forget "manliness." If you need to take a moment, by all means, go ahead. Real strength lies in the control or, as Nassim Taleb put it, the domestication of one's emotions, not in pretending they don't exist.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph)
“
The needle rocked awkwardly and at the end of her beginning rows, Isabel held up her work to show Esperanza. "Mine is all crooked!"
Esperanza smiled and reached over and gently pulled the yarn, unraveling the uneven stitches. Then she looked into Isabel's trusting eyes and said, "Do not ever be afraid to start over.
”
”
Pam Muñoz Ryan (Esperanza Rising)
“
For all species other than us humans, things just are what they are. Our problem is that we’re always trying to figure out what things mean—why things are the way they are. As though the why matters. Emerson put it best: “We cannot spend the day in explanation.” Don’t waste time on false constructs.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph)
“
Wow, top five percent of your class at Northwestern. Nice!" Joel said and then looked over at me. "Bet you're glad to have someone so amazing working under you, huh?"
Chloe coughed slightly, bringing her napkin up from her lap to cover her mouth. I smiled as I quickly glanced over to her and then back to Joel. "Yes, its absolutely amazing having Miss Mills under me. She always gets the job done.
”
”
Christina Lauren (Beautiful Bastard (Beautiful Bastard, #1))
“
You may not agree with a woman, but to criticize her appearance — as opposed to her ideas or actions — isn’t doing anyone any favors, least of all you. Insulting a woman’s looks when they have nothing to do with the issue at hand implies a lack of comprehension on your part, an inability to engage in high-level thinking. You may think she’s ugly, but everyone else thinks you’re an idiot.
”
”
Erin Gloria Ryan
“
Work is finding yourself alone at the track when the weather kept everyone else indoors. Work is pushing through the pain and crappy first drafts and prototypes. It is ignoring whatever plaudits others are getting, and more importantly, ignoring whatever plaudits you may be getting. Because there is work to be done. Work doesn’t want to be good. It is made so, despite the headwind.
”
”
Ryan Holiday (Ego Is the Enemy)
“
I know that to you everything has changed for the worse over the last weeks. But for me..." Elias pauses. rests his forehead into the curve of my neck. "Before you my life was nothing but wandering and solitude and death. Now with you there's possibility." He pulls back until we're looking into each other's eyes. "I'm falling inn love with you, Gabrielle. Not with the person you used to be, but you.
”
”
Carrie Ryan (The Dead-Tossed Waves (The Forest of Hands and Teeth, #2))
“
And yet, despite repeated assurances that women aren't particularly sexual creatures, in cultures around the world men have gone to extraordinary lengths to control female libido: female genital mutilation, head-to-toe chadors, medieval witch burnings, chastity belts, suffocating corsets, muttered insults about "insatiable" whores, pathologizing, paternalistic medical diagnoses of nymphomania or hysteria, the debilitating scorn heaped on any female who chooses to be generous with her sexuality...all parts of a worldwide campaign to keep the supposedly low-key female libido under control. Why the electrified high-security razor-wire fence to contain a kitty-cat?
”
”
Christopher Ryan (Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality)
“
It’s taboo to admit that you’re lonely. You can make jokes about it, of course. You can tell people that you spend most of your time with Netflix or that you haven’t left the house today and you might not even go outside tomorrow. Ha ha, funny. But rarely do you ever tell people about the true depths of your loneliness, about how you feel more and more alienated from your friends each passing day and you’re not sure how to fix it. It seems like everyone is just better at living than you are.
A part of you knew this was going to happen. Growing up, you just had this feeling that you wouldn’t transition well to adult life, that you’d fall right through the cracks. And look at you now. La di da, it’s happening.
Your mother, your father, your grandparents: they all look at you like you’re some prized jewel and they tell you over and over again just how lucky you are to be young and have your whole life ahead of you. “Getting old ain’t for sissies,” your father tells you wearily.
You wish they’d stop saying these things to you because all it does is fill you with guilt and panic. All it does is remind you of how much you’re not taking advantage of your youth.
You want to kiss all kinds of different people, you want to wake up in a stranger’s bed maybe once or twice just to see if it feels good to feel nothing, you want to have a group of friends that feels like a tribe, a bonafide family. You want to go from one place to the next constantly and have your weekends feel like one long epic day. You want to dance to stupid music in your stupid room and have a nice job that doesn’t get in the way of living your life too much. You want to be less scared, less anxious, and more willing. Because if you’re closed off now, you can only imagine what you’ll be like later.
Every day you vow to change some aspect of your life and every day you fail. At this point, you’re starting to question your own power as a human being. As of right now, your fears have you beat. They’re the ones that are holding your twenties hostage.
Stop thinking that everyone is having more sex than you, that everyone has more friends than you, that everyone out is having more fun than you. Not because it’s not true (it might be!) but because that kind of thinking leaves you frozen. You’ve already spent enough time feeling like you’re stuck, like you’re watching your life fall through you like a fast dissolve and you’re unable to hold on to anything.
I don’t know if you ever get better. I don’t know if a person can just wake up one day and decide to be an active participant in their life. I’d like to think so. I’d like to think that people get better each and every day but that’s not really true. People get worse and it’s their stories that end up getting forgotten because we can’t stand an unhappy ending. The sick have to get better. Our normalcy depends upon it.
You have to value yourself. You have to want great things for your life. This sort of shit doesn’t happen overnight but it can and will happen if you want it.
Do you want it bad enough? Does the fear of being filled with regret in your thirties trump your fear of living today?
We shall see.
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Ryan O'Connell
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How To Tell If Somebody Loves You:
Somebody loves you if they pick an eyelash off of your face or wet a napkin and apply it to your dirty skin. You didn’t ask for these things, but this person went ahead and did it anyway. They don’t want to see you looking like a fool with eyelashes and crumbs on your face. They notice these things. They really look at you and are the first to notice if something is amiss with your beautiful visage!
Somebody loves you if they assume the role of caretaker when you’re sick. Unsure if someone really gives a shit about you? Fake a case of food poisoning and text them being like, “Oh, my God, so sick. Need water.” Depending on their response, you’ll know whether or not they REALLY love you. “That’s terrible. Feel better!” earns you a stay in friendship jail; “Do you need anything? I can come over and bring you get well remedies!” gets you a cozy friendship suite. It’s easy to care about someone when they don’t need you. It’s easy to love them when they’re healthy and don’t ask you for anything beyond change for the parking meter. Being sick is different. Being sick means asking someone to hold your hair back when you vomit. Either love me with vomit in my hair or don’t love me at all.
Somebody loves you if they call you out on your bullshit. They’re not passive, they don’t just let you get away with murder. They know you well enough and care about you enough to ask you to chill out, to bust your balls, to tell you to stop. They aren’t passive observers in your life, they are in the trenches. They have an opinion about your decisions and the things you say and do. They want to be a part of it; they want to be a part of you.
Somebody loves you if they don’t mind the quiet. They don’t mind running errands with you or cleaning your apartment while blasting some annoying music. There’s no pressure, no need to fill the silences. You know how with some of your friends there needs to be some sort of activity for you to hang out? You don’t feel comfortable just shooting the shit and watching bad reality TV with them. You need something that will keep the both of you busy to ensure there won’t be a void. That’s not love. That’s “Hey, babe! I like you okay. Do you wanna grab lunch? I think we have enough to talk about to fill two hours!" It’s a damn dream when you find someone you can do nothing with. Whether you’re skydiving together or sitting at home and doing different things, it’s always comfortable. That is fucking love.
Somebody loves you if they want you to be happy, even if that involves something that doesn’t benefit them. They realize the things you need to do in order to be content and come to terms with the fact that it might not include them. Never underestimate the gift of understanding. When there are so many people who are selfish and equate relationships as something that only must make them happy, having someone around who can take their needs out of any given situation if they need to.
Somebody loves you if they can order you food without having to be told what you want. Somebody loves you if they rub your back at any given moment. Somebody loves you if they give you oral sex without expecting anything back. Somebody loves you if they don’t care about your job or how much money you make. It’s a relationship where no one is selling something to the other. No one is the prostitute. Somebody loves you if they’ll watch a movie starring Kate Hudson because you really really want to see it. Somebody loves you if they’re able to create their own separate world with you, away from the internet and your job and family and friends. Just you and them.
Somebody will always love you. If you don’t think this is true, then you’re not paying close enough attention.
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Ryan O'Connell