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They keep saying that sea levels are rising an' all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science.
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Karl Pilkington (The Ricky Gervais Show - First, Second and Third Seasons)
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My greatest hero is Nelson Mandela. What a man. Incarcerated for 25 years, he was released in 1990 and he hasn't reoffended. I think he's going straight, which shows you prison does work.
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Ricky Gervais
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Stop looking at the walls, look out the window.
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Karl Pilkington (The Ricky Gervais Show - First, Second and Third Seasons)
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I could eat a knob at night.
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Karl Pilkington (The Ricky Gervais Show - First, Second and Third Seasons)
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It wouldn't happen... There hasn't been one publication by a monkey
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Karl Pilkington (The Ricky Gervais Show - First, Second and Third Seasons)
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I've always wanted to kick a duck up the arse.
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Karl Pilkington (The Ricky Gervais Show - First, Second and Third Seasons)