Richard Simmons Quotes

Wait until you meet the therapist. That bad? Let's just say i can't believe he's a real person. Like Santa Claus? More like if Santa Claus and Ron Jeremy had a child and then that child had a child with Richard Simmons. So, like a leprechaun? Yes, Otter, exactly like a leprechaun. I'm going to tell him I believe in Santa Claus, just to see what happens. I dare you.

Do my worst, eh? Smithers, release the robotic Richard Simmons." --Mr. Burns

it's hard to march purposefully, or in any other way, when your thighs are screaming like Richard Simmons in a candy store- good God, stop the madness.

The only exercise guru then was Richard Simmons—a flamboyant fuzzy-haired creature who vaguely resembled a gay Bozo the Clown, unless that’s redundant, which I, thank God, have no way of knowing, having no, thank God, direct

If there’s one genetic trait that automatically disqualifies a man from being able to rock, it’s curly hair. Nobody cool has curly hair; people like Richard Simmons, the guy from Greatest American Hero, and the singer from REO Speedwagon have curls. The only exceptions are Ian Hunter from Mott the Hoople, whose hair is more tangled than curly, and Slash, but his hair is fuzzy and that’s cool.

Richard," said Dave, "do you ever wonder how much of your life you've spent trying to please the dead?

The humble are the strongest. They don’t make decisions by sticking their fingers in the air … They know who they are. Their lives are not consumed by trying to please and impress others.

You've had your chance, Richard. Scott's a big boy now, and if he wants to spend a few years chanting mantras and giving away his lunch money to some bearded horse's ass with a Jehovah Complex, well, you've had your chance to help him, so what do you say you just get on with your screwed-up life, Richard E. Baedecker

Character, wisdom, and love make up the essence of what it means to be an authentic man. In fact, I would like to address the significance of each of these qualities and why it is so important that we possess them.

But at the heart of character is the ability to restrain our desires. As a man grows in character, he builds the muscles of self-restraint.

Simply stated, life’s greatest paradox can be summed up in the words, True strength is found in humility. The apostle Paul tells us as much in 2 Corinthians 12 when he reveals a struggle in his own life with what he calls “a thorn in the flesh.” He asks God to remove the pain and the suffering of this affliction. God’s response is no, and instead He tells Paul: “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.

Humility helps you to recognize that all you are and all you have is a gift from God and a result of other people contributing to your life.

Love is not an illusion created by the genes to promote our evolutionary survival, but an aspect of human nature that reflects the fundamental fabric of ultimate reality.”9

wanted to believe the Darwinian idea. I chose to believe it not because I think there was enormous evidence for it, nor because it had the full authority to give interpretation to my origins, but I chose to believe it because it delivered me from trying to find meaning and freed me to my own erotic passions.

No society has ever survived or will ever survive without morality, and no morality has ever survived without a transcendent source.”19

A journey of a thousand miles—is a long frickin’ ways.” (Ersin, Tom; “Poor Richard Simmons’ Almanac”; FallacyReport.com; 2015.)

Marriage is a long-term commitment — but a tattoo, that's for life." (Ersin, Tom; “Poor Richard Simmons’ Almanac”; FallacyReport.com; 2008).

We all have a basic motivational drive, every human heart has something that drives them. It gets us through life. It moves us to do what we do. And for most of us, I believe, it is fear. —Tim Keller

As men of honor and integrity, we should always be inspired and encouraged by these words of Theodore Roosevelt: It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doers of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, and comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat.

In the midst of the storms of life we will either allow what we are experiencing to influence our view of God, or we will allow our view of God to influence what we are experiencing.

So many men spend their lives looking for some other stream to finally and forever quench the thirsts of their souls. However, Jesus says there is no other stream. And He is very clear about the fact that if we do not drink from this spring—the fountain of living water— we will die.

One of the greatest quotes of John Wooden is very simple but quite profound: “Talent is God-given; be humble. Fame is man-given; be grateful. Conceit is self-given; be careful.

We are seldom taught that the key to experiencing a meaningful life is to make a difference in the lives of others.

all yearn for. God

Choose for yourselves today the god whom you will serve: the god of wealth, the god of prestige and power, the god of pleasure, the god of achievement. But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord (Joshua 24:15, author paraphrase).

Bill Thrall, in his book TrueFaced, states that eventually all our masks will crack and inevitably our true selves will be exposed. This most recent economic crisis certainly has caused the masks of many men to crack and crumble. The pain for many has been unbearable. Thrall, however, offers us an interesting, deeper view of life’s difficulties. He suggests that the struggles we face could be the best things that could ever happen to us because if our masks succeed and help us to remain hidden and protected, who would ever really know us? We would be totally inauthentic, living only to perform for and impress others. Most significantly, we might go through all our days missing out on the life God intended for us.

Worrying about the past is tending the ashes instead of the fire.

For the billionaires, champagne baths every morning and new Lamborghinis every afternoon couldn’t deplete the fathomless amount of cash on hand. “Your entire philosophy of money changes,” writes author Richard Frank in his book, Richistan. “You realize that you can’t possibly spend all of your fortune, or even part of it, in your lifetime, and that your money will probably grow over the years even if you spend lavishly.” There are dotcom entrepreneurs who could live top 1 percent American lifestyles and not run out of cash for 4,000 years. People who Bill Simmons would call “pajama rich,” so rich they can go to a five-star restaurant or sit courtside at the NBA playoffs in their pajamas. They have so much money that they have nothing to prove to anyone. And many of them are totally depressed. You’ll remember the anecdote I shared in this book’s introduction about being too short to reach between the Olympic rings at the playground jungle gym. I had to jump to grab the first ring and then swing like a pendulum in order to reach the next ring. To get to the third ring, I had to use the momentum from the previous swing to keep going. If I held on to the previous ring too long, I’d stop and wouldn’t be able to get enough speed to reach the next ring. This is Isaac Newton’s first law of motion at work: objects in motion tend to stay in motion, unless acted on by external forces. Once you start swinging, it’s easier to keep swinging than to slow down. The problem with some rapid success, it turns out, is that lucky breaks like Bear Vasquez’s YouTube success or an entrepreneur cashing out on an Internet wave are like having someone lift you up so you can grab one of the Olympic rings. Even if you get dropped off somewhere far along the chain, you’re stuck in one spot. Financial planners say that this is why a surprisingly high percentage of the rapidly wealthy get depressed. As therapist Manfred Kets de Vries once put it in an interview with The Telegraph, “When money is available in near-limitless quantities, the victim sinks into a kind of inertia.