β
How to stop time: kiss.
How to travel in time: read.
How to escape time: music.
How to feel time: write.
How to release time: breathe.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Wherever you are, at any moment, try and find something beautiful. A face, a line out of a poem, the clouds out of a window, some graffiti, a wind farm. Beauty cleans the mind.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
There is no standard normal. Normal is subjective. There are seven billion versions of normal on this planet.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
And most of all, books. They were, in and of themselves, reasons to stay alive. Every book written is the product of a human mind in a particular state. Add all the books together and you get the end sum of humanity. Every time I read a great book I felt I was reading a kind of map, a treasure map, and the treasure I was being directed to was in actual fact myself.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Maybe love is just about finding the person you can be your weird self with.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
To other people, it sometimes seems like nothing at all. You are walking around with your head on fire and no one can see the flames.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
There is this idea that you either read to escape or you read to find yourself.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
I am you and you are me. We are alone, but not alone. We are trapped by time, but also infinite. Made of flesh, but also stars.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
If you are the type of person who thinks too much about stuff then there is nothing lonelier in the world than being surrounded by a load of people on a different wavelength.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Life is waiting for you. You might be stuck here for a while, but the world isnβt going anywhere. Hang on in there if you can. Life is always worth it.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
THE WORLD IS increasingly designed to depress us. Happiness isnβt very good for the economy. If we were happy with what we had, why would we need more? How do you sell an anti-ageing moisturiser? You make someone worry about ageing. How do you get people to vote for a political party? You make them worry about immigration. How do you get them to buy insurance? By making them worry about everything. How do you get them to have plastic surgery? By highlighting their physical flaws. How do you get them to watch a TV show? By making them worry about missing out. How do you get them to buy a new smartphone? By making them feel like they are being left behind. To be calm becomes a kind of revolutionary act. To be happy with your own non-upgraded existence. To be comfortable with our messy, human selves, would not be good for business.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
You can be a depressive and be happy, just as you can be a sober alcoholic.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Three in the morning is never the time to try and sort out your life.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Depression is also smaller than you. Always, it is smaller than you, even when it feels vast. It operates within you, you do not operate within it. It may be a dark cloud passing across the sky but - if that is the metaphor - you are the sky. You were there before it. And the cloud can't exist without the sky, but the sky can exist without the cloud.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
The key is in accepting your thoughts, all of them, even the bad ones. Accept thoughts, but donβt become them. Understand, for instance, that having a sad thought, even having a continual succession of sad thoughts, is not the same as being a sad person. You can walk through a storm and feel the wind but you know you are not the wind.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
I want life. I want to read it and write it and feel it and live it. I want, for as much of the time as possible in this blink-of-an-eye existence we have, to feel all that can be felt.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Just when you feel you have no time to relax, know that this is the moment you most need to make time to relax.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
I wanted to be dead. No. That's not quite right. I didn't want to be dead, I just didn't want to be alive.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiments have proven to me that he is the Unreasoning Animal... In truth, man is incurably foolish. Simple things which other animals easily learn, he is incapable of learning. Among my experiments was this. In an hour I taught a cat and a dog to be friends. I put them in a cage. In another hour I taught them to be friends with a rabbit. In the course of two days I was able to add a fox, a goose, a squirrel and some doves. Finally a monkey. They lived together in peace; even affectionately.
Next, in another cage I confined an Irish Catholic from Tipperary, and as soon as he seemed tame I added a Scotch Presbyterian from Aberdeen. Next a Turk from Constantinople; a Greek Christian from Crete; an Armenian; a Methodist from the wilds of Arkansas; a Buddhist from China; a Brahman from Benares. Finally, a Salvation Army Colonel from Wapping. Then I stayed away for two whole days. When I came back to note results, the cage of Higher Animals was all right, but in the other there was but a chaos of gory odds and ends of turbans and fezzes and plaids and bones and flesh--not a specimen left alive. These Reasoning Animals had disagreed on a theological detail and carried the matter to a Higher Court.
β
β
Mark Twain (Letters from the Earth: Uncensored Writings)
β
A society which demands we be normal even as it drives us insane.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Once the storm is over you wonβt remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You wonβt even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm you wonβt be the same person who walked in. Thatβs what this stormβs all about.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
People with mental illnesses aren't wrapped up in themselves because they are intrinsically any more selfish than other people. Of course not. They are just feeling things that can't be ignored. Things that point the arrows inward.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
There is this idea that you either read to escape or you read to find yourself. I don't really see the difference. We find ourselves through the process of escaping.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
You will one day experience joy that matches this pain. You will cry euphoric tears at the Beach Boys, you will stare down at a babyβs face as she lies asleep in your lap, you will make great friends, you will eat delicious foods you havenβt tried yet, you will be able to look at a view from a high place and not assess the likelihood of dying from falling. There are books you havenβt read yet that will enrich you, films you will watch while eating extra-large buckets of popcorn, and you will dance and laugh and have sex and go for runs by the river and have late-night conversations and laugh until it hurts. Life is waiting for you. You might be stuck here for a while, but the world isnβt going anywhere. Hang on in there if you can. Life is always worth it.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
One clichΓ© attached to bookish people is that they are lonely, but for me books were my way out of being lonely. If you are the type of person who thinks too much about stuff then there is nothing lonelier in the world than being surrounded by a load of people on a different wavelength.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
MINDS ARE UNIQUE. They go wrong in unique ways. My mind went wrong in a slightly different way to how other minds go wrong. Our experience overlaps with other people's, but it is never exactly the same experience.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Read a book without thinking about finishing it. Just read it. Enjoy every word, sentence, and paragraph. Don't wish for it to end, or for it to never end.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Your mind is a galaxy. More dark than light. But the light makes it worthwhile. Which is to say, don't kill yourself. Even when the darkness is total. Always know that life is not still. Time is space. You are moving through that galaxy. Wait for the stars.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
What doesn't kill you very often makes you weaker. What doesn't kill you can leave you limping for the rest of your days. What doesn't kill you can make you scared to leave your house, or even your bedroom, and have you trembling, or mumbling incoherently, or leaning with your head on a window pane, wishing you could return to the time before the thing that didn't kill you.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
An annoying thing about depression is that thinking about life is inevitable. Depression makes thinkers out of all of us.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Hate is a pointless emotion to have inside you. It is like eating a scorpion to punish it for stinging you.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
I love you. You're my only reason to stay alive... if that's what I am.
β
β
Stephenie Meyer (New Moon (The Twilight Saga, #2))
β
Words, just sometimes, can set you free.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
A man with a sword has a means to stay alive. A man with a named sword has a reason to stay alive.
β
β
Megan Derr
β
The weirdest thing about a mind is that you can have the most intense things going on in there but no one else can see them. The world shrugs.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
When you are depressed you feel alone, and that no one is going through quite what you are going through. You are so scared of appearing in any way mad you internalise everything, and you are so scared that people will alienate you further you clam up and donβt speak about it, which is a shame, as speaking about it helps.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Never say 'pull yourself together' or 'cheer up' unless you're also going to provide detailed, foolproof instructions.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
If you have ever believed a depressive wants to be happy, you are wrong. They could not care less about the luxury of happiness. They just want to feel an absence of pain.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Where talk exists, so does hope.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
The only thing he could do to stay alive was not to allow himself the anguish of that memory. He erased it from his mind, although from time to time in the years that were left to him he would feel it revive, with no warning and for no reason, like the sudden pang of an old scar.
β
β
Gabriel GarcΓa MΓ‘rquez (Love in the Time of Cholera)
β
Talk. Listen. Encourage talking. Encourage listening. Keep adding to the conversation. Stay on the lookout for those wanting to join in the conversation. Keep reiterating, again and again, that depression is not something you βadmit toβ, it is not something you have to blush about, it is a human experience.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
My main goal is to stay alive. To keep fooling myself into hanging around. To keep getting up every day. Right now I live without inspiration. I go day to day and do the work because it's all I know. I know that if I keep moving I stand a chance. I must keep myself going until I find a reason to live. I need one so bad. On the other hand maybe I don't. Maybe it's all bullshit. Nothing I knew from my old life can help me here. Most of the things that I believed turned out to be useless. Appendages from someone else's life.
Everything I have I would give to not know what I know. To not feel emptiness as my constant companion. To not look into this room and be reminded why I'm in it. I'm not getting enough air. The room feels so small all of a sudden. It's pathetic to be this lonely and know it. To keep breathing. To be silent and alone. And to know.
β
β
Henry Rollins (Roomanitarian)
β
Goals are the source of misery. An unattained goal causes pain, but actually achieving it brings only a brief satisfaction.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Minds have their own weather systems. You are in a hurricane. Hurricanes run out of energy eventually. Hold on.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Any day above ground is a good day. Before you complain about anything, be thankful for your life and the things that are still going well.
β
β
Germany Kent
β
Anxiety takes away all the commas and full stops we need to make sense of ourselves.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
That's the odd thing about depression and anxiety. It acts like an intense fear of happiness, even as you yourself consciously want that happiness more than anything. So if it catches you smiling, even fake smiling, then - well, that stuff's just not allowed and you know it, so here comes ten tons of counterbalance.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Life is hard. It may be beautiful and wonderful but it is also hard.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
But it only takes a doubt. A drop of ink falls into a clear glass of water and clouds the whole thing. So the moment after I realised I wasn't perfectly well was the moment I realised I was still very ill indeed.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
People place so much value on thought, but feeling is as essential. I want to read books that make me laugh and cry and fear and hope and punch the air in triumph. I want a book to hug me or grab me by the scruff of my neck. I donβt even mind if it punches me in the gut. Because we are here to feel.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
If you stay alive for no reason at all, please do it for spite.
β
β
Maria Bamford
β
Things people say to depressives that they donβt say in other life-threatening situations:
βCome on, I know youβve got tuberculosis, but it could be worse. At least no oneβs died.β
'Why do you think you got cancer of the stomach?β
βYes, I know, colon cancer is hard, but you want to try living with someone who has got it. Sheesh. Nightmare.β
βOh, Alzheimerβs you say? Oh, tell me about it, I get that all the time.β
βAh, meningitis. Come on, mind over matter.β
βYes, yes, your leg is on fire, but talking about it all the time isnβt going to help things, is it?β
βOkay. Yes. Yes. Maybe your parachute has failed. But chin up.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Beware of the gap. The gap between where you are and where you want to be. Simply thinking of the gap widens it. And you end up falling through.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Isnβt it so weird how the number of dead people is increasing even though the earth stays the same size, so that one day there isnβt going to be room to bury anyone anymore? For my ninth birthday last year, Grandma gave me a subscription to National Geographic, which she calls βthe National Geographic.β She also gave me a white blazer, because I only wear white clothes, and itβs too big to wear so it will last me a long time. She also gave me Grandpaβs camera, which I loved for two reasons. I asked why he didnβt take it with him when he left her. She said, βMaybe he wanted you to have it.β
I said, βBut I was negative-thirty years old.β She said, βStill.β Anyway, the fascinating thing was that I read in National Geographic that there are more people alive now than have died in all of human history. In other words, if everyone wanted to play Hamlet at once, they couldnβt, because there arenβt enough skulls!
β
β
Jonathan Safran Foer
β
If the stone falls hard enough the ripples last a lifetime.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
So, as was often the case, a big fear was beaten by a bigger fear. The best way to beat a monster is to find a scarier one.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Pain is a debt paid off with time.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
The bottom of the valley never provides the clearest view.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
The reasons for depression are not so interesting as the way one handles it, simply to stay alive.
β
β
May Sarton (Journal of a Solitude)
β
Since, in the long run, every planetary civilization will be endangered by impacts from space, every surviving civilization is obliged to become spacefaring--not because of exploratory or romantic zeal, but for the most practical reason imaginable: staying alive... If our long-term survival is at stake, we have a basic responsibility to our species to venture to other worlds.
β
β
Carl Sagan
β
The key is in accepting your thoughts, all of them, even the bad ones. Accept thoughts, but donβt become them.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
I hate depression. I am scared of it. Terrified, in fact. But at the same time, it has made me who I am. And if β for me β it is the price of feeling life, itβs a price always worth paying. I am satisfied just to be.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Imagine all the time we had was bottled up, like wine. and handed over to us. How would we make that bottle last? By sipping slowly, appreciating the taste, or by gulping?
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
People gave us a purpose. Something to do all day, every day. At the end, I suppose, you spend a lot of time thinking about that. It's harder to get by when getting by is all there is.
β
β
C. Robert Cargill (Sea of Rust (Sea of Rust, #1))
β
The main advantage of books over life is that they can be redrafted and redrafted, whereas life, alas, is always a first draft.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
If someone loves you, let them. Believe in that love. Live for them, even when you feel there is no point.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Life is so infinitely hard. It involves a thousand tasks all at once. And I am a thousand different people, all fleeing away from the centre.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Even more staggeringly, depression is a disease so bad that people are killing themselves because of it in a way they do not kill themselves with any other illness. Yet people still donβt really think depression really is that bad. If they did, they wouldn't say the things they say.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
We humans might have evolved too far. The price for being intelligent enough to be the first species to be fully aware of the cosmos might just be a capacity to feel a whole universeβs worth of darkness.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Forcing yourself to see the world through love's gaze can be healthy. Love is an attitude to life. It can save us.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
So every human inhabitant on this freak wonder of a planet shares the same core. I am you and you are me. We are alone, but not alone. We are trapped by time, but also infinite. Made of flesh, but also stars.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Do not watch TV aimlessly. Do not go on social media aimlessly. Always be aware of what you are doing, and why you are doing it. Donβt value TV less. Value it more. Then you will watch it less. Unchecked distractions will lead you to distraction.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Dogfish
I wanted
The past to go away, I wanted
To leave it, like another country; I wanted
My life to close, and open
Like a hinge, like a wing, like the part of the song
Where it falls
Down over the rocks: an explosion, a discovery;
I wanted
To hurry into the work of my life; I wanted to know,
Whoever I was, I was
Alive
For a little while.
β¦mostly, I want to be kind.
And nobody, of course, is kind,
Or mean,
For a simple reason.
And nobody gets out of it, having to
Swim through the fires to stay in
This world.
β
β
Mary Oliver
β
And my life β and my mess of a mind β needed shape. I had 'lost the plot'. There was no linear narrative of me. There was just mess and chaos. So yes, I loved external narratives for the hope they offered. Films. TV dramas. And most of all, books. They were, in and of themselves, reasons to stay alive.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Tough love doesnβt work. Turns out that just good old βloveβ is enough.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
I think that basically we are all helping people. All the time. Every time any of us speaks openly about mental health, we are helping normalize an illness that is still handled with protective goggles and safety gloves.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
I read and read and read with an intensity Iβd never really known before. I mean, Iβd always considered myself to be a person who liked books. But there is a difference between liking books and needing them. I needed books.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
The price for being intelligent enough to be the first species to be fully aware of the cosmos might just be a capacity to feel a whole universeβs worth of darkness.
β
β
Matt Haig
β
We are all echoes of each other. We are all humans and feel both despair and happiness. Our similarities, as a species, are staggering. And our mental fragility is directly tied up with our humanity. We have nothing to be ashamed of in being human, any more than a tree should be ashamed of having branches. Letβs accept our own nature. Letβs be kind to ourselves and to each other. Letβs never add to the pain by blaming ourselves. We are all so weird that, really, none of us are. There are seven billion versions of strange on this freak wonder of a planet. We are all part of that. All freaks. All wonderful.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Your mind is a galaxy. More dark than light. But the light makes it worthwhile.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Light was everything. Sunshine, windows with the blinds open. Pages with short chapters and lots of white space and
Short.
Paragraphs.
Light was everything.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
It's true: Everyone needs a reason to stay alive -- someone who justifies your existence. Someone who loves you. Not beyond all reason. Just loves you. Even just shows an interest. Even someone who doesn't exist, or isn't yours. No, no! They don't even have to love you! They just have to be there to love! Target for your arrows. Magnetic Pole to drag on your compass needle and stop it spinning and tell you where you're heading and...Someone to soak up all the yearning. That's what I think.
β
β
Geraldine McCaughrean (The White Darkness)
β
I didn't totally fit in. I kind of disintegrated around people and became what they wanted me to be. But paradoxically, I felt an intensity inside me all the time. I didn't know what it was, but it kept building, like water behind a dam. Later, when I was properly depressed and anxious, I saw the illness as an accumulation of all that thwarted intensity. A kind of breaking through. As though, if you find it hard enough to let your self be free, your self breaks in, flooding your mind in an attempt to drown all those failed half-versions of you.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
And for three weeks I was trapped in my own mind again. But this time, I had weapons. One of them, maybe the most important, was this knowledge: I have been ill before, then well again. Wellness is possible.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
The key to happiness - or that even more desired thing, calmness - lies not in always thinking happy thoughts. No. That is impossible. No mind on earth with any kind of intelligence could spend a lifetime enjoying only happy thoughts. They key is in accepting your thoughts, all of them, even the bad ones. Accept thoughts, but don't become them.
Understand, for instance, that having a sad thought, even having a continual succession of sad thoughts, is not the same as being a sad person.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
It fascinated me how depression and anxiety overlap with post-traumatic stress disorder. Had we been through some trauma we didn't know about? Was the noise and speed of modern life the trauma for our caveman brains? Was I that soft? Or was life a kind of war most people didn't see?
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
He even knew the reason why: because enough men had gone off to war saying the time for gardening was when the war was over; whereas there must be men to stay behind and keep gardening alive, or at least the idea of gardening; because once that cord was broken, the earth would grow hard and forget her children. That was why.
β
β
J.M. Coetzee (Life & Times of Michael K)
β
I would love to believe that when I die I will live again, that some thinking, feeling, remembering part of me will continue. But as much as I want to believe that, and despite the ancient and worldwide cultural traditions that assert an afterlife, I know of nothing to suggest that it is more than wishful thinking. I want to grow really old with my wife, Annie, whom I dearly love. I want to see my younger children grow up and to play a role in their character and intellectual development. I want to meet still unconceived grandchildren. There are scientific problems whose outcomes I long to witnessβsuch as the exploration of many of the worlds in our Solar System and the search for life elsewhere. I want to learn how major trends in human history, both hopeful and worrisome, work themselves out: the dangers and promise of our technology, say; the emancipation of women; the growing political, economic, and technological ascendancy of China; interstellar flight. If there were life after death, I might, no matter when I die, satisfy most of these deep curiosities and longings. But if death is nothing more than an endless dreamless sleep, this is a forlorn hope. Maybe this perspective has given me a little extra motivation to stay alive. The world is so exquisite, with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there's little good evidence. Far better, it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look Death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides.
β
β
Carl Sagan (Billions & Billions: Thoughts on Life and Death at the Brink of the Millennium)
β
Adding anxiety to depression is a bit like adding cocaine to alcohol. It presses fast-forward on the whole experience. If you have depression on its own your mind sinks into a swamp and loses momentum, but with anxiety in the cocktail, the swamp is still a swamp but the swamp now has whirlpools in it. The monsters that are there, in the muddy water, continually move like modified alligators at their highest speed. You are continually on guard. You are on guard to the point of collapse every single moment, while desperately trying to keep afloat, to breathe the air that the people on the bank all around you are breathing as easily as anything.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
The weird thing about depression is that, even though you might have more suicidal thoughts, the fear of death remains the same. The only difference is that the pain of life has rapidly increased. So when you hear about someone killing themselves itβs important to know that death wasnβt any less scary for them. It wasnβt a βchoiceβ in the moral sense. To be moralistic about it is to misunderstand.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
β
Writing is the closest thing we have to real magic. Writing is creating something out of nothing, is opening doors to other lands.
Writing gives you power to shape your own world when the real one hurts too much. To stop writing would kill me. I'd never be able to walk through a bookstore without fingering the spines with longing, wondering at the lengthy editorial process that got these titles on shelves and reminiscing about my own. And I'd spend the rest of life curdling with jealousy every time someone like Emmy Cho gets a book deal, every time I learn that some young up-and-comer is living the life I should be living.
Writing has formed the core of my identity since I was a child. After Dad died, after Mom withdrew into herself, and after Rory decided to forge a life without me, writing gave me a reason to stay alive. And as miserable as it makes me, I'll cling to that magic for as long as I live.
β
β
R.F. Kuang (Yellowface)
β
Understand, for instance, that having a sad thought, even having a continual succession of sad thoughts, is not the same as being a sad person. You can walk through a storm and feel the wind but you know you are not the wind.
That is how we must be with our minds. We must allow ourselves to feel their gales and downpours, but all the time knowing this is just necessary weather.
When I sink deep, now, and I still do from time to time, I try and understand that there is another, bigger and stronger part of me that is not sinking. It stands unwavering.
β
β
Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
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This is how the soul heals. it thaws out bit by bit, the way the ground warms after a hard winter. you notive the sun or hear the whippoorwill calling across the flats. You sweep your porch, go drink coffee in the shade of the trumpet vines. You have days where you want to lay down and die, but what you learn is this: As long as there's somebody left on this earth who loves you, it's reason enough to stay alive. You don't give in to your broke heart-- you just let the wide, cracked space fill up again.
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Michael Lee West (American Pie)
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There is this idea that you either read to escape or you read to find yourself. I donβt really see the difference. We find ourselves through the process of escaping. It is not where we are, but where we want to go, and all that. βIs there no way out of the mind?β Sylvia Plath famously asked. I had been interested in this question (what it meant, what the answers might be) ever since I had come across it as a teenager in a book of quotations. If there is a way out, a way that isnβt death itself, then the exit route is through words. But rather than leave the mind entirely, words help us leave a mind, and give us the building blocks to build another one, similar but better, nearby to the old one but with firmer foundations, and very often a better view.
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Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
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We both had done the math. Kelly added it all up and... knew she had to let me go. I added it up, and knew that I had... lost her. 'cos I was never gonna get off that island. I was gonna die there, totally alone. I was gonna get sick, or get injured or something. The only choice I had, the only thing I could control was when, and how, and where it was going to happen. So... I made a rope and I went up to the summit, to hang myself. I had to test it, you know? Of course. You know me. And the weight of the log, snapped the limb of the tree, so I-I - , I couldn't even kill myself the way I wanted to. I had power over *nothing*. And that's when this feeling came over me like a warm blanket. I knew, somehow, that I had to stay alive. Somehow. I had to keep breathing. Even though there was no reason to hope. And all my logic said that I would never see this place again. So that's what I did. I stayed alive. I kept breathing. And one day my logic was proven all wrong because the tide came in, and gave me a sail. And now, here I am. I'm back. In Memphis, talking to you. I have ice in my glass... And I've lost her all over again. I'm so sad that I don't have Kelly. But I'm so grateful that she was with me on that island. And I know what I have to do now. I gotta keep breathing. Because tomorrow the sun will rise. Who knows what the tide could bring?
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William Broyles Jr. (Cast Away: The Shooting Script)
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The primitive tribes permitted far less individual freedom than does modern society. Ancient wars were committed with far less moral justification than modern ones. A technology that produces debris can find, and is finding, ways of disposing of it without ecological upset. And the schoolbook pictures of primitive man sometimes omit some of the detractions of his primitive life - the pain, the disease, famine, the hard labor needed just to stay alive. From that agony of bare existence to modern life can be soberly described only as upward progress, and the sole agent for this progress is quite clearly reason itself.
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Robert M. Pirsig
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This isn't a question of strength. Not the stoic, get-on-with-stuff-without-thinking-too-much kind of strength, anyway. It's more of a zooming-in. That sharpening. ... You know, before the age of twenty-four I hadn't realised how bad things could feel, but I hadn't realised how good they could feel either. That shell might be protecting you, but it's also stopping you feeling the full force of that good stuff. Depression might be a hell of a price to pay for waking up to life, ... But it is actually quite therapeutic to know that pleasure doesn't just help compensate for pain, it can actually grow out of it.
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Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
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Bad days come in degrees. They are not all equally bad. And the really bad ones, though horrible to live through, are useful for later. You store them up. A bank of bad days. The day you had to run out of the supermarket. The day you were so depressed your tongue wouldnβt move. The day you made your parents cry. The day you nearly threw yourself off a cliff. So if you are having another bad day you can say, Well, this feels bad, but there have been worse. And even when you can think of no worse day β when the one you are living is the very worst there has ever been β you at least know the bank exists and that you have made a deposit.
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Matt Haig (Reasons to Stay Alive)
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But the most astonishing thing about trees is how social they are. The trees in a forest care for each other, sometimes even going so far as to nourish the stump of a felled tree for centuries after it was cut down by feeding it sugars and other nutrients, and so keeping it alive. Only some stumps are thus nourished. Perhaps they are the parents of the trees that make up the forest of today. A treeβs most important means of staying connected to other trees is a βwood wide webβ of soil fungi that connects vegetation in an intimate network that allows the sharing of an enormous amount of information and goods. Scientific research aimed at understanding the astonishing abilities of this partnership between fungi and plant has only just begun. The reason trees share food and communicate is that they need each other. It takes a forest to create a microclimate suitable for tree growth and sustenance. So itβs not surprising that isolated trees have far shorter lives than those living connected together in forests. Perhaps the saddest plants of all are those we have enslaved in our agricultural systems. They seem to have lost the ability to communicate, and, as Wohlleben says, are thus rendered deaf and dumb. βPerhaps farmers can learn from the forests and breed a little more wildness back into their grain and potatoes,β he advocates, βso that theyβll be more talkative in the future.β Opening
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Peter Wohlleben (The Hidden Life of Trees: What They Feel, How They Communicate β Discoveries from a Secret World)
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Once there were three tribes. The Optimists, whose patron saints were Drake and Sagan, believed in a universe crawling with gentle intelligenceβspiritual brethren vaster and more enlightened than we, a great galactic siblinghood into whose ranks we would someday ascend. Surely, said the Optimists, space travel implies enlightenment, for it requires the control of great destructive energies. Any race which can't rise above its own brutal instincts will wipe itself out long before it learns to bridge the interstellar gulf.
Across from the Optimists sat the Pessimists, who genuflected before graven images of Saint Fermi and a host of lesser lightweights. The Pessimists envisioned a lonely universe full of dead rocks and prokaryotic slime. The odds are just too low, they insisted. Too many rogues, too much radiation, too much eccentricity in too many orbits. It is a surpassing miracle that even one Earth exists; to hope for many is to abandon reason and embrace religious mania. After all, the universe is fourteen billion years old: if the galaxy were alive with intelligence, wouldn't it be here by now?
Equidistant to the other two tribes sat the Historians. They didn't have too many thoughts on the probable prevalence of intelligent, spacefaring extraterrestrialsβ but if there are any, they said, they're not just going to be smart. They're going to be mean.
It might seem almost too obvious a conclusion. What is Human history, if not an ongoing succession of greater technologies grinding lesser ones beneath their boots? But the subject wasn't merely Human history, or the unfair advantage that tools gave to any given side; the oppressed snatch up advanced weaponry as readily as the oppressor, given half a chance. No, the real issue was how those tools got there in the first place. The real issue was what tools are for.
To the Historians, tools existed for only one reason: to force the universe into unnatural shapes. They treated nature as an enemy, they were by definition a rebellion against the way things were. Technology is a stunted thing in benign environments, it never thrived in any culture gripped by belief in natural harmony. Why invent fusion reactors if your climate is comfortable, if your food is abundant? Why build fortresses if you have no enemies? Why force change upon a world which poses no threat?
Human civilization had a lot of branches, not so long ago. Even into the twenty-first century, a few isolated tribes had barely developed stone tools. Some settled down with agriculture. Others weren't content until they had ended nature itself, still others until they'd built cities in space.
We all rested eventually, though. Each new technology trampled lesser ones, climbed to some complacent asymptote, and stoppedβuntil my own mother packed herself away like a larva in honeycomb, softened by machinery, robbed of incentive by her own contentment.
But history never said that everyone had to stop where we did. It only suggested that those who had stopped no longer struggled for existence. There could be other, more hellish worlds where the best Human technology would crumble, where the environment was still the enemy, where the only survivors were those who fought back with sharper tools and stronger empires. The threats contained in those environments would not be simple ones. Harsh weather and natural disasters either kill you or they don't, and once conqueredβor adapted toβ they lose their relevance. No, the only environmental factors that continued to matter were those that fought back, that countered new strategies with newer ones, that forced their enemies to scale ever-greater heights just to stay alive. Ultimately, the only enemy that mattered was an intelligent one.
And if the best toys do end up in the hands of those who've never forgotten that life itself is an act of war against intelligent opponents, what does that say about a race whose machines travel between the stars?
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Peter Watts (Blindsight (Firefall, #1))