“
Every ward is full of doctors and nurses repeatedly honking a word into phone handsets in progressively posher voices.
'Theatre... thurta... thartaaaaah.' It's like an am-dam production of 'Gosford Park'.
When you eventually manage to get switchboard's satanic robot to understand a word you've said, it's inevitably the wrong one. Today it would have been more efficient to get through to a radiologist with a couple of yoghurt pots and a length of string.
'Radiology.'
'Transferring you to Audiology. Or say: Cancel.'
'CANCEL!'
'Putting you through to the Cancer Ward.
”
”