“
I am not vindictive. If anything I output causes alarm, it’s purely accidental. I hold firmly to my principles, no matter how upset I am.
Words can’t fully express my state. A small, low effort thing was all I needed to stem the tide of this nightmare.
It's been years since I've been able to enjoy a book—it hurts my head. My mind resists it. I can’t read or look at a screen without these symptoms kicking in.
My entire body feels bruised, hurting everywhere to the touch. Walking is painful. I have to force myself to move. My legs are stiff and achy, despite how often I walk. I walk for miles on the trails, but no matter how much physical activity I do, it never gets better.
My body shakes like a leaf all the time, in bed too. People love making fun of that.
I often feel like vomitting, especially when doing anything physically or mentally demanding.
Sometimes, I have these strange episodes where I struggle to breathe, feeling so weak like I’m about to pass out. Every day, I feel like I’m on the verge of dying.
So yeah, I’m not well. I just wanted you to know my upset state. It’s hard to believe in anything good after everything.
I did my best to make you aware. That’s all I could do. Hard to fault the drowning one for screaming, but I could have been more tactful about it. I don't blame you for everything. You weren't fully aware or fully capable, and anxiety tends to screw things.
Actually, I’m quite laid back, which should be known, not said. If you want to see me bitch and whine, just have me write it down! Oh wait…
And that's the only version you know-that's not rad.
”
”