Potty Trained Quotes

I don’t intimidate you at all, do I? (Acheron) Well, when you chased me through Kyrian’s house, I did wet my pants a bit. Guess I’m not housebroken after all. My mom will be so disappointed after all she went through to potty train me. But once you let me live…your big mistake…now I know you think I’m too cute and fluffy to kill. (Nick)

I'd learned how to handle a gun before I was fully potty trained.

In practice, I always get you to give me the red M&M’s.” “That was a device to let you know when you were using enough charm to affect a human,” he snapped. “I got it from a human parenting manual. I didn’t think you were stupid enough to believe you could use your charm against me.” My eyes flashed. I remembered mother telling me the only way she’d found to potty train me was giving me M&M’s. I was not flattered by the comparison.

You have so much going on. It comes off like a..." "Static?" I suggested. "Exactly!" He snapped his fingers and pointed at me. "You need to tune it, get your frequencies in check, like a radio." "I would love to.Just tell me how." "It's not a matter of turning a dial. You have no on or off switch." He walked around in a large lazy circle. "It's something you have to practice. It's more like being potty-trained. You have to learn when to hold it and when to release." "That's a pretty sexy analogy," I said.

One of the main functions of a push-up bra is to lower the number of mothers who seem like mothers.

Pull-Ups cost so much because they sell the illusion that you are that much closer to having a potty-trained kid when in reality you’re not closer at all. They’re like the Spanx of diapers. Pull-Ups are a lie.

You’ve never potty-trained a toddler, have you, Johanna? It’s like working as a ball boy at Wimbledon, but with shit. And it goes on for months. With people crying at you.

I have to pick up my kids. I have to register them for school. I have to pack their lunches and get their Hep B shots and wash their hands. They must be spotted on the stairs and potty trained and broken of the binkie. And if that relentless work runs right alongside gauging the risks of bladder surgery on a seventy-four-year-old, well, what did you think was gonna happen? What did you think being an adult was?

You scared the crap out of me. I mean, not literally. I’m potty trained.

That was the main thing wrong with Mrs. Kamal. She spent such an extraordinary amount of mental energy feeling irritated that it was impossible not to feel irritated in turn. It was oxygen to her, this low-grade dissatisfaction, shading into anger; this sense that things weren't being done correctly, that everything from the traffic noise at night to the temperature of the hot water in the morning to the progress of Mohammed's potty training to the fact that Fatima wasn't being taught to read Urdu, only English, to the fact that Rohinka served only two dishes at dinner the night of her arrival to the cost of the car insurance for the VW Sharan to the fact that Shahid didn't have a 'proper job' and seemed to have no intention of getting one, let alone a wife, to the unfriendliness of London, the fact that it was an 'impossible city,' to the ostentatious way she complained about missing Lahore, especially at dinner time, giving meaningful, sad, reproachful looks at the food Rohinka had cooked.

The learning phase of anything sucks. No one wants to “be learning”; we like to “have learned.

I was willing, until two hours ago, to toss myself on a couch and tell a psychiatrist how the other kids bullied me when I was little and that I wasn’t potty-trained until I was three.

If a struggle emerges about eating, a toddler will get so involved in the struggle and so upset that it overwhelms her need to eat. This observation is just as true of struggles about potty training, what to wear, school work, and so on. Throughout your child’s growing-up years, it is important to matter-of-factly set the limits and avoid the emotional fireworks and struggles. Learning to do this with feeding will help you in other areas as well.

She’s worse than a puppy. And a man like me shouldn’t even have a puppy. She’s not potty-trained, and I have no idea how to do that kind of thing or any of the related matters either. Plus, I’ve never really liked babies. I like Maya, but . . . Conversation with her lacks to say the least. We talk about Elmo, and I can’t stand him, by the way, but other than that, it’s mainly about her. She’s totally self-centered.

The Johnson Space Center “potty cam,” as it is more casually known, is an astronaut training aid. It provides a vivid, arresting perspective on something you’ve had intimate contact with all your life but never really seen. Perhaps not unlike viewing one’s home planet from space for the first time. Positioning is critical because the opening to a Space Shuttle toilet is 4 inches across, as opposed to the 18-inch maw we are accustomed to on Earth.

Didn’t you ever notice that whatever you wanted or whatever you set out to do, Cora wanted to do it too?” Noah asked. “She wasn’t like that.” “She was, Mer. And it’s okay to admit it. One of the hardest things about Cora dying is that everyone wants to erase her—the real Cora. They talk about her as though she were perfect. She wasn’t. ‘Don’t talk ill of the dead,’ people say. But if we aren’t truthful about who our loved ones were, then we aren’t really remembering them. We’re creating someone who didn’t exist. Cora loved you. She loved me. But what she did was not okay. And I’m pissed off about it.” Mercedes reeled back, stunned. “Geez, Noah. Tell me how you really feel. She still deserves our compassion,” she rebuked. He nodded. “Everyone deserves compassion. And I know suicide isn’t always a conscious act. Most of the time it’s sheer desperation. It’s a moment of weakness that we can’t come back from. But regardless of illness or weakness, if we don’t own our actions and don’t demand that others own theirs, then what’s the point? We might as well give up now. We have to expect better of ourselves. We have to. I expect more of my patients, and when I expect more—lovingly, patiently—they tend to rise to that expectation. Maybe not all the way up, but they rise. They improve because I believe they can, and I believe they must. My mom was sick. But she didn’t try hard enough to get better. She found a way to cope—and that’s important—but she never varied from it. Life has to be more than coping. It has to be.” Mercedes nodded slowly, her eyes clinging to his impassioned face. She’d struck a nerve, and he wasn’t finished. “I know it’s not something we’re supposed to say. We’re supposed to be all-loving and all-compassionate all the time. But sometimes the things we aren’t supposed to say are the truths that keep us sane, that tether us to reality, that help us move the hell on! I know some of my colleagues would be shocked to hear it. But pressure—whether it’s the pressure of society, or the pressure of responsibility, or the pressure that comes with being loved and being needed—isn’t always a bad thing. You’ve heard the cliché about pressure and diamonds. It’s a cliché because it’s true. Pressure sometimes begets beautiful things.” Mercedes was silent, studying his handsome face, his tight shoulders, and his clenched fists. He was weary, that much was obvious, but he wasn’t wrong. “Begets?” she asked, a twinkle in her eye. He rolled his eyes. “You know damn well what beget means.” “In the Bible, beget means to give birth to. I wouldn’t mind giving birth to a diamond,” she mused. “You ruin all my best lectures.” There was silence from the kitchen. Silence was not good. “Gia?” Noah called. “What, Daddy?” she answered sweetly. “Are you pooping in your new princess panties?” “No. Poopin’ in box.” “What box?” His voice rose in horror. “Kitty box.” Noah was on his feet, racing toward the kitchen. Mercedes followed. Gia was naked—her Cinderella panties abandoned in the middle of the floor—and perched above the new litter box. “No!” Noah roared in horror, scooping her up and marching to the toilet. “Maybe it won’t be a turd, Noah. Maybe Gia will beget a diamond,” Mercedes chirped, trying not to laugh. “I blame you, Mer!” he called from the bathroom. “She was almost potty-trained, and now she wants to be a cat!

What stood in one corner of the cell was disgusting: two empty disinfectant canisters and one well used and well stained piss pot, the sort of chamber pot that people would train their babies to be potty trained on before they would learn to use the toilet.

So who else did you convince?" "Well, I got Joe to potty train himself, and then I convinced Anna to leave the kids at home and go with me on a vacation to Jamaica." Roy laughed heartily. "Dreams are so funny." "Yeah, but bold. So bold. Sometimes I wake up and wonder why I'm not as bold as that all the time. I mean, what have we got to lose?

But there is another variety of the older child that gets ugly. This is the child who is being resistant in an “eff you” kind of way. This child will look right at you while he’s peeing on the floor. You will know if you have this variety. It will feel aggressive, and you will feel hostage to your child. This behavior needs to be addressed head on. This is not funny and can lead to serious issues later on. You must deal with this as behavior and behavior only. Do whatever you would do as if he looked you right in the eyes and said, “Eff you.” ’Cause that’s kind of what he’s doing. I highly suggest contacting a family therapist if this is happening. This actually is not at all about potty training. I do think it’s serious, and I do think you should seek help and not take it lightly. Bottom line: when you have a child over three, potty training needs to be addressed in a very straightforward manner. It needs to be done, and done now, at almost any cost. The child over three is much more likely to have bigger problems. I know so many parents are fearful of seeming “hard-core”—they don’t want to traumatize their kid. I get that, totally. I never want to see a kid traumatized, either. But in my humble opinion, getting kicked out of kindergarten for potty training issues is a lot more traumatizing than having parents who are super strict now.

When can I move the potty chair to the bathroom? This is a question I get asked a lot. It is totally your call. Usually, it happens when you get sick of the potty chair being in the living room (or playroom or kitchen). A lot of this will depend on your house setup. There will be an indefinable moment when you know your child can make it to the bathroom.

Look at what we got!” he exclaimed proudly. His two-and-a-half-year-old daughter stood in a ballerina dress holding a tiny little animal. A pig, actually. A pig? Her name was Miss Sprinkles. It was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. “Is that real?” I asked. “Sure,” said Chad. “My wife’s mom bred them. There are more. I’m sure she’d give you one.” “Well…” “They’re miniatures. They only grow to be twenty pounds. They potty-train. They are so easy.” “Potty-train?” Long story short--I ended up getting one for Angel. I suggested we name her Hammy Wynette. Angel picked Roxie instead. When she’s bad, it’s Baby Bacon. People tell you that pigs are the fourth-smartest mammal, that they’re affectionate and easy to live with. But what they don’t say is that they squeal as loud as a freight train when they are little. What do you do when life isn’t crazy enough? Get a pig!

that he learns what has to be done faster and effectively. Below are some guidelines that will help you potty train with no problems

Places ●      Parks ●      Veterinary clinic ●      Dog salon ●      Shopping malls ●      Parties ●      Club/bar ●      Church (if permissible) ●      Schoolyards ●      Backyard ●      Garage ●      Inside the car ●      Busy street (while walking) ●      Floors that are slippery

As gender and “family values” moved to the center of evangelical identity, a man who dispensed advice on kids’ chores, potty training, and teenage sex ed could achieve celebrity status formerly reserved for pastors and evangelists.

As with all things in a Dutch childhood, gradual, regulated exposure seems to be the key to progress. There’s less focus on milestones, on children having to be able to do things by a certain age. Instead, parents watch out for indications that a child is ready for a new step and eager to attempt it. It’s the same for potty training and swimming as for cycling: The best progress is made when it is child-led, not parent-pushed.

it’s strange how quickly you can become a natal connoisseur by proxy of those around you. Five years ago, I could have barely differentiated between a one-year-old and a one-day-old baby. Now, I knew about Braxton Hicks and mastitis and pre-labour perineum massage. I knew about sleep training, growth spurts, teething and potty training. The lexicon of our peer group morphed in every decade.

In the middle of the night: Remember: initially your puppy’s crate is ideally going to be located in your bedroom. So, you’ll hear them when they whine. And you will hear whining, especially during the first few nights when they are lonely and missing their littermates. But they’ll also whine because they have to go to the bathroom and are stressed out about peeing inside the crate where they sleep. Admittedly, at first it’s very difficult to know the difference between lonely whining and potty whining. When you hear whining, wait. If the crate is next to your bed, you can put your hand down next to the crate, so your puppy knows they are not alone. But don’t talk to them. If they calm down, stop whining, and go back to bed, they were just lonely. But if they don’t calm down and continue to whine, or the whining increases, err on the side of caution. Assume they have to pee and take them out of the crate to their designated area. Keep it businesslike—no playful interactions. It should just take a couple of minutes, then they go back in their crate and you go back to bed. If it’s taking more than a couple of minutes, your puppy just wanted your attention, so head back inside and put your puppy in their crate and you in your bed.

If you catch your puppy in the act: Startle them with a nonresponse marker: say Ah ah and clap your hands. If they were caught peeing, they will likely stop midstream. Immediately pick them up and take them to their usual potty spot.

During the toddler years, a lot of action takes place at the toilet. No, not potty training; throwing things in. From a toddler’s viewpoint, the commode is one of the best toys around.

Before you even bring your new puppy home for the first time, you should have decided where his potty spot will be. Before he goes inside to meet the family, he will need to “go” outside. As soon as you arrive home, take him to the designated spot.

When you set him down, keep the leash loose and, if possible, out of his mouth. This is not playtime. Stand with him, moving him back and forth in a small area; 15 square feet is the maximum. If he’s showing you how well he can sit, running a few steps may inspire him to get up. But you’re not going anywhere. This is not a walk; it’s “go potty” time.

Hitting your puppy does nothing to help potty-train her, but what it will do is make her afraid of you. Bailey doesn’t know where she’s supposed to potty at this age, so it’s up to you to help her learn. Believe it or not, accidents in the house are people problems, not puppy problems.” “Told you,” Allison said under her breath, looking down at her hands. “Huh. So, no smacks?” Morgan shook her head vigorously. “No smacks, ever, for any reason.” Jared frowned. “Everybody’s a snowflake these days, I guess.” He leaned over in front of his puppy on the exam table. “Want to talk about your feelings, Bailey? Will that keep you from shitting in the house?” Allison laughed nervously. “Jared, stop.” “I know some excellent puppy trainers I can refer you to,” Morgan said, looking at Allison. “They can help you with potty-training.” She glanced at Jared. “Manners too.

pot /po/ I. nm 1. (récipient, contenu) container; (en verre) jar; (en plastique) carton, tub; (en faïence, terre) pot; (pichet) jug • ~ de verre | glass jar • mettre qch en ~ | to put [sth] into jars [confiture, fruits]; to pot [plante] • plante en ~ | potted plant • ~ de marmelade | jar of marmalade • ~ de yaourt (en verre) jar of yoghurt; (en plastique) carton of yoghurt • acheter un ~ de peinture | to buy a tin of paint • garder les ~s de confiture | to save jam jars • réutiliser les ~s de peinture | to re-use the paint tins • il a fallu trois ~s de peinture | it took three tins of paint voir aussi: cuiller 2. (de chambre) pot; (de bébé) potty • aller sur le ~ (ponctuellement) to go on the potty • depuis un mois il va sur le ~ | he's been potty-trained for a month now 3. ○(boisson) drink • prendre un ~ | to have a drink 4. ○(réunion) do (familier) (GB), drinks party • ~ d'accueil/d'adieu | welcoming/farewell party 5. ○(chance) luck • elle n'a pas eu de ~ | she hasn't had much luck • avoir du ~ | to be lucky • avoir un coup de ~ | to have a stroke of luck • (par un) coup de ~, la porte était ouverte | as luck would have it, the door was open 6. (argent commun) kitty • ramasser le ~ | (Jeux) to win the kitty II. Idiomes 1. payer les pots cassés | to pick up the pieces 2. c'est le pot de terre contre le pot de fer | it's an unequal contest 3. ce sera à la fortune du pot | you'll have to take pot luck 4. découvrir le pot aux roses | to stumble on what's been going on 5. être sourd comme un pot○ | to be as deaf as a post 6. tourner autour du pot | to beat about the bush 7. payer plein pot○ | to pay full price 8. partir or démarrer plein pot○ | to be off ou go off like a shot (familier) pot catalytique catalytic converter pot de chambre chamber pot pot de colle (lit) pot of glue; (fig) informal leech pot à eau water jug (GB), pitcher (US) pot d'échappement (silencieux) silencer (GB), muffler (US); (système) exhaust

Looking down at her diaper/underwear

body language

Mommy drank a lot of water, and now my body is

me I need to go potty. Let’s go together.

THE FRENCH HAVE a saying: ‘You can’t go faster than the music’. They believe that a child will roll over, rise to his feet, become potty trained and start to talk when he’s good and ready. Lovingly encourage and support him – don’t try to rush his development or turn his childhood into boot camp. Being a little kid shouldn’t be hard work. There’s time enough for that later.

Even when they are asleep, infants as young as six months react negatively to angry, argumentative voices, as University of Oregon researchers discovered by measuring brain activity of babies in the presence of steadily rising voices. Babies raised by unhappily married parents have been shown to have a host of developmental problems, from delayed speech and potty training to a reduced ability to self-soothe.

The long view of motherhood sees far beyond the third trimester, potty training, and even high school graduation. The long view of motherhood scans the horizon of eternity. We understand that our child may one day be our brother or sister in Christ. We mothers always need to have the long view of life in our minds as we go about our days. God is about his work of creating people who are created and recreated in the image of his Son. We are part of the new humanity, a people whose pattern of life is being transformed by God so that we no longer walk in ways that enslave us in death and futility. The world will one day be filled with the glory of the Lord the way the waters cover the sea! In all our mothering, we look toward that day.

Finally, in walked the doctor. The doctor? He looked more like the doctor's kid! I mean, how do med schools get away with churning out such young graduates? You know a doctor is fresh out of school, not just because his lab coat is crisp and clean, but because he rolls around on the stool like he's at Disney World. Oh yeah---this is why I haven't been to see the OB/GYN in a while, I thought. I had to wait until my doctor was potty trained.

University of Toronto economist Joshua Gans wanted to enlist the help of his older daughter in potty training her younger brother. So he did what any good economist would do. He offered her an incentive: anytime she helped her brother go to the bathroom, she would get a piece of candy. The daughter immediately found a loophole that her father, the economics professor, had overlooked. “I realized that the more that goes in, the more comes out,” she says. “So I was just feeding my brother buckets and buckets of water.” Gans affirms: “It didn’t really work out too well.

out

Focused language stimulation involves repeating target words that are relevant to what is happening at the time. In a single interaction or activity, a word should be repeated at least five times before moving on. When Stella and I were about to go to the backyard, I said “outside” five times between my verbal speech and using her button. When we were in the backyard, I said “outside” another two times. That means, during this thirty-second period of getting ready to open the door and going into the backyard, Stella heard “outside” seven times. If we take Stella outside six times per day, she would hear “outside” around forty-two times. If we took her outside ten times a day, which was more realistic during this potty-training phase, she would hear “outside” seventy times in one day, all during the appropriate contexts.

Huh?” I asked. “Why do we need to go with you? You’re potty-trained.

If she sat and peed/pooped on the potty more than one time, then we know she can do it. Period. It’s that simple. If she subsequently chooses not to, it’s behavior.

there will be many who resent a perspective of motherhood that chooses to grasp hold of something other than the hard and the loss of “me time”: namely, the abundant gems of joy and fulfillment that glitter amidst the everyday landscape of lunch prep, potty training, and sassy attitudes. Sometimes we just need someone to remind us of what an incredibly rad undertaking this whole motherhood gig really is.

once you’d had children you quickly realised you had very little control over your life. You simply spent your parenting years stumbling from one issue to another. They’re born, you try not to drop them or smother them. They start eating, you try not to choke them or poison them. They walk, you try not to trip over them or lose them. They use the toilet once, you think potty training’s over, it’s not. They climb out of the cot bed, you get door gates. They climb over the door gates, you secure all exits. They talk, you watch what you say. They start school, you field their homework, their projects, the horrific school PTFA, not to mention the friends, the mothers of the friends and the after-school activities. Then there are the sports clubs and the fixtures that intensify at secondary school. Plus, there’s technology and the internet, and suddenly here are the girlfriends and the beards,

There’s nothing special about politicians as people. Now as animals, they’d be extraordinary for their ability to be intelligent enough (barely) to be potty trained.

The first step in getting your child comfortable about the bathroom is to change her diapers in the bathroom instead of in her room or wherever else you have a changing area. You want your kiddo to start doing bathroom things in the bathroom, because that is what will be expected once you put her in underwear. Changing your child all over the house gives mixed signals. Once she feels comfortable being changed in the bathroom, it will be easier for her to feel comfortable sitting on the potty.

Take him out to pee after every one hour or so.

Passing their toilet training is the very last thing that some adults did that has made their parents proud of them.

In the 15 years since its inception, the column has documented my days of being single and alone for the first time, reentering the dating world as a sober person, dating, getting engaged, getting married, getting pregnant, having kids, and finding my life again after all of that. Sometimes it’s funny, sometimes not. Sometimes the not-so-funny things are important too. What it is, though, is honest. My column has allowed me to show people – at whatever stage they’re at in life – that they don’t have to be perfect to be OK. There are no books on “What to Expect When Your Boyfriend Leaves You For His High School Crush,” or “What to Expect When Your Child Takes a Year to Potty Train.” But that doesn’t mean people don’t need to know that this stuff happens. And more importantly, that they can survive when it does. Sometimes even laughing.

You can only listen to discussions about potty training and the terrible twos so many times before you want to take a nap, facedown in the kiddie pool.

A brilliant mom on our forum found that talking about using the potty as something “helpful” worked wonders. Her daughter loves being helpful so she would phrase it as, “Put your fork on the table. Put your cup on the table. Go sit and pee. Thank you. You are such a big help.

You may have noticed that poop has its very own chapter. Yeah. It’s that big a freaking deal.

many parents want a cookie-cutter version of potty training. There’s no such thing. It doesn’t exist. Also, it infuriates me that your neighbor with two children thinks she knows everything about this potty training gig.

just one generation ago, kids were potty trained at seventeen to twenty-two months. I truly believe it’s because our moms, for the most part, were stay-at-home moms. I mean stay at home. They didn’t work at home, they had no computer for email and Facebook, no cell phones, no identities to preserve, no mommy groups, no playdates, no baby gymnastics, no music classes, and no swimming lessons. Now, I’m forty-three, so maybe I’m talking to a younger audience here, and I’m certainly not saying our moms exhibited the best parenting. But I do believe it was that stay-at-home factor that made potty training so easy.

Here are the major blocks or phases, in order: 1. Peeing and pooping while naked, either with prompting or without. 2. Peeing and pooping with clothes on, commando, with prompting or without. 3. Peeing and pooping in different situations, with prompting or without. 4. Peeing and pooping with underpants, with prompting or without. 5. Consistent self-initiation. 6. Night and nap (unless you are choosing to do it all together; more on that later). 7. College. Probably still needing to prompt occasionally.

Clueless to I Peed to I’m Peeing to I Have to Go Pee? Look for progress, not perfection. Nothing is really a problem on these first few days.

Can’t I just try underwear? I’m afraid of . . . My final answer: yes. You can always try underwear. If you have some notion in your head that commando is weird or creepy, go inward and investigate that. I have heard some people are afraid of infection. I have never, ever seen this happen. I don’t recommend panties in at least the first two weeks. If you want to try them, that’s up to you. You have been warned. If the panties get soaked, don’t be attached to them; ditch them.

The need to pee and poop is a primal one; learning to put it somewhere specific is social, and social behavior must be taught.

Panic, fear, and dread will only put more difficulties in your path. Relaxed is key.

Have confidence in yourself and have faith in your kid. You both can do this, quickly, gently, and effectively. Do or do not. There is no trying.

Potty Training Your Puppy Potty training your pup begins on day one. Keep your puppy in sight at all times. Take your puppy outside before and after crate time, after playtime, and after naptime. Contrary to popular belief, your pup doesn’t need to go out directly after feeding and drinking. Keep this in mind! Your puppy also needs to be taken out when he’s walking around sniffing, particularly walls, doors, etc. Whenever your puppy has an accident in the home, take him directly outside, even before cleaning up the mess. You are to only tell him no or punish him if you catch him in the act, otherwise he won’t understand what he’s done wrong, or he’ll think that whatever he was doing at the time is what he’s being punished for, which could be a good thing, like resting in his crate. Never let your pup see you or anyone else clean up his mess. During potty training, outside isn’t for playtime. You should not allow your puppy to run free and roam, play or do anything except potty while he’s outdoors. Be overly excited when your puppy eliminates in the proper space. You don’t have to sue treats. Simply tell your puppy that he’s done well and give him lots of love for 30 seconds. Let him know how happy you are that he’s done what he’s done, and he’ll remember that the more you take him out. If you follow these rules, you should be able to potty train your pup within a couple of weeks. Remember that this involves constant supervision, and never forget to tell your pup how wonderful he is when he follows the rules.

If you live long enough & have changed enough diapers like I have raising 6 whole grown adult children one-at-a-time; you ought to be able to call out bullshit blindly, in about a million different ways & plays. My potty-training days have long been over...so what fool retards at their wisdom stage? For this chief reason, I could show you better than tell you, try as you might: you cannot change grown ups diapers in life, who think you don't know how 'full of shit' they are today.

untrained dogs and they will urinate over them.  Purchase a crate or cage that is big enough for your pup to lie down, turn around, and stand up in.  Create a food and potty schedule. It should include:  Meal Potty Time Play Time Training Time Sleep in Crate Repeat from A Every Four Hours No matter what, don’t leave your poor pup in the crate all the time. At the same time, though, the crate should give it time to relax and nap between potty and play sessions.  Walk the dog about 15-30 minutes after every meal.  Always praise the dog for going outside.  Never ever use hitting or yelling if the dog has an accident in the house.  Now, as far as behavior training, you will need to follow a schedule to make sure neither you nor the pup gets too tired or frustrated. That’s what we are going to talk about next.

You should never nag, whine, preach or plead with your dog because this is not the way leaders behave

Below is a tentative schedule of how to revolve a puppy’s day around the crate: Puppy wakes up in crate and goes straight outside to go potty → Puppy goes back in crate to eat breakfast and stays for 30-60 minutes to let food digest → Puppy goes straight outside again to go potty → Since your puppy has now gone potty, you can be sure that he won’t have an accident inside. Puppy can now have an hour of playtime under your supervision (Keep in mind that when a puppy is out of the crate, he should be taken outside EVERY 20 minutes to go potty) → Puppy can now go in crate with chewing object for 1-2 hours → Puppy goes straight outside to go potty → Puppy goes back to crate for lunch for 20-30 minutes → Puppy goes outside to go potty → Puppy gets playtime under your supervision → Puppy goes in crate for nap/chew time → Puppy goes straight outside to go potty → Puppy goes back to crate for dinner for 20-30 minutes → Puppy goes outside to go potty → Puppy gets playtime under your supervision → Puppy goes outside to go potty right before bed → Puppy gets tucked into his crate for bedtime.

Fufi was the love of my life. Beautiful but stupid. I raised her. I potty-trained her. She slept in my bed. A dog is a great thing for a kid to have. It’s like a bicycle but with emotions.

Herbs to use for a good sleep bath and no rash. My grandma on my father’s side was a biologist and botanist. She gave us herb baths all the time because she had a whole garden of medicinal plants and knew how to use them. My other grandmother, who was a nurse, did the same. It is a very common practice to wash a baby with a tea blend made from chamomile/calendula and beggar ticks (also called as Bidens, bur marigold or Spanish needle) in Russia and Central Asia. The last one is the most essential to cure diathesis, prickly heat and other dermatological problems. I take just 1 tablespoon of each herb and mix into 3 cups of boiled hot water, let it sit for an hour or so, and add to a small basin so that it makes a very weak solution. Daniella’s skin becomes very soft and clean after it. She has not had eczema or any kind of rash. I think it is mostly due to the use of the herbs. When I told a friend about the Bidens and she tried it with her newborn, her daughter slept longer by an hour or two.

Toilet training by 8 months and Elimination communication. My parents used the so-called “Elimination communication” method. It means that parents use timing, signals and cues to eliminate waste and can do that either from birth or later. In Russia, they start at 2- 3 months by holding the baby in squat or ‘potty’ position above a small basin, a toilet or a waterproof fabric. The position is very comfortable for babies. Parents always say “pees-pees” or “aaa-aaa,” so the baby learns these words very early. Usually, by 7-8 months, when a child can sit firmly, they introduce him to a potty. By that time, the kid really knows what “pees” and “aaa” mean and give signals to parents. One of the most detailed descriptions about EC is written by Ingrid Bauer in her book Diaper Free: The Gentle Wisdom of Natural Infant Hygiene. The secrets of this method are: 1. Learn baby’s cues and schedule. Daniella either freezes or loudly calls before she poops now, when she is 12 months. Before, her signals included pausing in the middle of activity, turning red, a sudden cry, staring or mimicking straining. If she is sleeping, she arches or gathers in her stomach when pees. These are very common signs for babies. Also, it is usual for them to go soon after waking up or eating, and sometimes after walks. 2. Teach baby to know your cues. As mentioned earlier, create some sound signals each time baby goes. It can be anything. Most common are “psss,” “pees,” “aaa,” “fuuu” or whistling. 3. Be persistent and punctual. As soon as you feel, see or hear the signals that baby needs to go, take him, hold him and let him ease himself! 4. Encourage! Make a big deal about correct signals by applauding. Little babies love applause. 5. There will be accidents. Whatever you do, there will be misses. From the child’s viewpoint, your baby will feel much better wearing cotton undies and escaping diaper rash. He will finally be potty trained much earlier.

Breastfeeding mothers’ diet to escape allergies and colic. No babies in my closest family had allergies, gases or colic. I think that is to the result of a mother’s diet we recommend from generation to generation. We do not eat any gas-forming foods like broccoli or cabbage, and we avoid allergens like red fruits. I did, however, drink a lot of milk, which can cause gases. In addition, and contradicting advice on how to stay fit after birth, I ate tons of butter. It was an obsession during that time, for I do not usually consume dairy that much. It did not cause digestion problems for my baby, but it made my milk really thick. She got nice cheeks. I think my body knew more about needs of the baby than my brain. In general, I ate meat and neutral vegetables–no sweets, no soda, and not much shell fish. It may seem difficult to limit yourself to certain kinds of food, but it is not at all. Eat steaks with sweet potato, spring beans, or salad. It is tasty, balanced and quite habitual for many Americans. Sometimes mothers do have to give up some food preferences for several months to help their babies grow healthy and feel good. My cousin, a Korean girl, continued to eat spicy food during breastfeeding. It was not good for my newborn niece, who had an allergic reaction all over her face and body and was scratching herself badly. She had red spots all over.

• Your kid is untrustworthy at this point. You cannot just ask him if he has to go. He’ll say “no,” ’cause it’s his favorite word, and then you are screwed. • Don’t ask, period. Never ask if he has to go. Tell and bring. If you see or know he’s got to go—he’s dancing around, looking uncomfortable—you say, “Come. Time to pee.” • Use your own leverage as Dad. Your kid loves you in a really special way that is different than how he loves Mom. Use that power for good. Enjoy whatever special time you two have together, but make him pee first. • Video games, wrestling, TV watching . . . pee first. Say that. “You pee first, and then we’ll . . .” • Don’t act helpless. You know your kid just as well as your partner, but in a different way. • Keep your eyes open looking for your kid’s pee-pee dance. • Don’t hover, and don’t prompt him every two seconds. Can you imagine anything worse than someone on you like white on rice, asking you to pee when you don’t have to? • Be casual and cool. You probably already have that role anyway. You can be casual and nonchalant and good cop and still watch out for pee.

I’ve searched and searched for the Magic Nighttime Trick; it doesn’t exist. There’s no way around it. To train for nighttime, you have to: 1. carefully monitor fluid intake before bedtime and/or 2. wake your child to pee.

At this point, you should feel pretty comfortable that your child, while bare bummed, can sit and pee on the potty. Remember: it’s okay if you are still prompting. Prompting counts as success, and your child needs it. Remember, though: don’t overprompt (she says to the mom holding a knife). By now, you may have started with pants, or your child may still be butt nekkid, or you may be doing a mix of the two.

Go. Pants. Sit. Pee.

Underpants, self-initiation, and night/nap dryness all sort of blend into the recipe at around three weeks after your start date.

Why did it have to be such a shameful secret? Hadn’t I been potty-trained and taught to chew with my mouth closed? So what was the freaking big deal about having sex? Wasn’t it essential to the survival of our darn, hypocritical species?

You are not to ask you child if she has to go. Never, in the coming week, will you ask your child if she has to go. You will prompt her by saying something like, “Come. It’s time to pee.

End result: A successful completion of Block One should look something along the lines of your child, while naked, can sit to pee and poop on the potty. This can be because you prompted, you led him, or he went on his own.

1. Peeing and pooping while naked, either with prompting or without. 2. Peeing and pooping with clothes on, commando, with prompting or without. 3. Peeing and pooping in different situations, with prompting or without. 4. Peeing and pooping with underpants, with prompting or without. 5. Consistent self-initiation. 6. Night and nap (unless you are choosing to do it all together; more on that later). 7. College. Probably still needing to prompt occasionally.

I’m going to put a diaper on you for nap because you’re still learning. You’ve done such a good job today, and your nap is a long time. You may not remember to pee when you’re sleeping. When you wake up, we’re going to take it right off.

Your child should go commando (aka, no underpants but with pants) for about a month, give or take a week.

So Block Two brings clothes. It also combines with Block Three and brings small outings. These should be planned and will give you a sense of how leaving the house potty trained differs from leaving the house with diapers. Early on, though, these should be small—I repeat, small—outings! Do not attempt a week’s grocery shopping. Do not attempt an hour drive to Grandma’s. Don’t go to story time at the library thinking you’ll show off your child’s new skill. Do not try to complete a necessary chore. Instead, consider a walk around the block or a run to a store for just one item. These small outings are practice runs.

You will still be using diapers for naps and bedtime during Block Two. Again, clearly state why the diaper is going on, and when it will come off. You should still be praising or at least acknowledging what your child is learning.

You need to pee before we leave the house, because I will not like it if you pee in the car.” If you’re pretty sure you have an 11:00 a.m. pooper, don’t leave in that time frame (remember this isn’t forever—you are still starting out). Bring an extra outfit. I suggest using a cloth diaper or towel to line the car seat. Bring wipes. Hell, bring the potty chair!

Here’s the trick: toss the prompts out there with as little energy as possible. Something like, “I can see you have to pee. There’s your potty.” Then drop the matter. Walk away and let it go, mentally and/or physically. Now she can make her own choice, which means there’s nothing to resist. If you don’t care, there’s nothing for her to fight. I mean, of course you care, but you have to give your child the room to learn how to use the potty, choose to do so, and do it herself. The lofty reason for this: it makes the accomplishment her own. The reality: it’s easier this way.

If my husband tells me one more time that he needs to rest because he “worked all day,” I will throw all of his clothes on the front lawn, kick his car into neutral and watch it roll away and I’ll sell all of his precious sports stuff on eBay for a dollar. And then I’ll kill him. He seriously doesn’t get it! Yes, he worked all day, but he worked with English speaking, potty trained, fully capable adults. He didn’t have to change their diapers, give them naps and clean their lunch from the wall. He didn’t have to count to 10 to calm himself, he didn’t have to watch Barney 303,243,243 times, and he didn’t have to pop his boob out 6 times to feed a hungry baby and I KNOW he didn’t have peanut butter and jelly crust for lunch. He DID get TWO 15-minute breaks to “stroll,” an hour break to hit the gym, and a 1 hour train ride home to read or nap. So maybe I don’t get a paycheck, maybe I stay in my sweatpants most of the day, maybe I only shower every 2 or 3 days, maybe I get to “play” with our kids all day … I still work a hell of a lot harder in one hour than he does all day. So take your paycheck, stick it in the bank and let me go get a freakin’ pedicure once a month without hearing you say “Maybe if you got a job … and had your own money.” Ouch.

potty. From the crate, go outside (with a sit at the door) to do a potty on cue. Give your dog a treat when she obeys you. A sit at the door, then back inside for breakfast. breakfast. A sit as you prepare to give your dog her breakfast. puppy potty. If you have a puppy, go outside again to potty, using the potty-training protocol we’ll discuss later. Always give your puppy a treat when she goes potty. brush and comb. Handle your dog all over as you brush and comb her coat. walk. Use the walk training program. puppy potty. Each time you crate and uncrate your puppy, take her outside to potty. crate time is nap time. Your dog learns to

Potty area. If you don’t want your dog doing his business everywhere he wants on your property (and who does?), establish his potty area from day one. If you have a yard, the ideal potty area will be located near the house for quick access, as well as within reach of a garden hose. It should be at least 10 feet by 10 feet, and about 3 inches deep, and layered with a bed of absorbent sand, covered with pea gravel or small river rock. Be prepared to clean the potty area often.

Punishing potty errors after they’ve happened is perhaps the most common training mistake; it only aggravates the problem. Going

The only way to deal with a potty error is to catch the dog in the act and scoop her up and take her, or lead her, quickly outside to the potty area. Until

The only way to deal with a potty error is to catch the dog in the act and scoop her up and take her, or lead her, quickly outside to the potty area. Until your dog is house-trained, do not allow her to have free access to the entire house, and supervise her always, perhaps by keeping her tethered to you or by using baby gates, x-pens, and closed doors.

First, it’s important to understand that it will likely take several months to potty train your dog completely. Commit

After you take your dog to what will become her designated potty spot, say the word you want to associate with going potty in an upbeat way, such as “Boz, go peeps, go poops,” or simply “go potty.” As

If your dog has already been potty trained but has started peeing in the house again, or if you have a rehomed dog that is said to be potty trained already but has regressed, then patiently act as though this is the first time in this dog’s life that she is learning potty training. If

When you tether your dog to your belt loop, you are literally keeping him close to you, helping him learn your body cues as you turn, change speeds, pause, and start again. Tethered to you, he learns, with practice, to pay close attention to you and walk at your pace. And vice versa—you will learn to anticipate his body language: how he starts to drift away from you and explore something, or tries to go toward a room or object that’s off-limits. If he misbehaves in some manner—say, he begins to venture toward something off-limits (perhaps that special couch) or to go potty inside—you will be so close that you can immediately direct him to stop pulling, drop contraband, or move away from an off-limits area or object.

other things,” or “What’s the rush? She’ll do it. I

Personality Plus for Parents: Understanding What Makes Your Child Tick by Florence Littauer.