Philosopher Epictetus Quotes

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Don't explain your philosophy. Embody it.
Epictetus
If someone tried to take control of your body and make you a slave, you would fight for freedom. Yet how easily you hand over your mind to anyone who insults you. When you dwell on their words and let them dominate your thoughts, you make them your master.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
Why should we place Christ at the top and summit of the human race? Was he kinder, more forgiving, more self-sacrificing than Buddha? Was he wiser, did he meet death with more perfect calmness, than Socrates? Was he more patient, more charitable, than Epictetus? Was he a greater philosopher, a deeper thinker, than Epicurus? In what respect was he the superior of Zoroaster? Was he gentler than Lao-tsze, more universal than Confucius? Were his ideas of human rights and duties superior to those of Zeno? Did he express grander truths than Cicero? Was his mind subtler than Spinoza’s? Was his brain equal to Kepler’s or Newton’s? Was he grander in death – a sublimer martyr than Bruno? Was he in intelligence, in the force and beauty of expression, in breadth and scope of thought, in wealth of illustration, in aptness of comparison, in knowledge of the human brain and heart, of all passions, hopes and fears, the equal of Shakespeare, the greatest of the human race?
Robert G. Ingersoll (About The Holy Bible)
Before you realize this truth, say the Yogis, you will always be in despair, a notion nicely expressed in this exasperated line from the Greek stoic philosopher Epictetus: 'You bear God within you, poor wretch, and know it not.
Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
Whoever is going to listen to the philosophers needs a considerable practice in listening.
Epictetus
Reading list (1972 edition)[edit] 1. Homer – Iliad, Odyssey 2. The Old Testament 3. Aeschylus – Tragedies 4. Sophocles – Tragedies 5. Herodotus – Histories 6. Euripides – Tragedies 7. Thucydides – History of the Peloponnesian War 8. Hippocrates – Medical Writings 9. Aristophanes – Comedies 10. Plato – Dialogues 11. Aristotle – Works 12. Epicurus – Letter to Herodotus; Letter to Menoecus 13. Euclid – Elements 14. Archimedes – Works 15. Apollonius of Perga – Conic Sections 16. Cicero – Works 17. Lucretius – On the Nature of Things 18. Virgil – Works 19. Horace – Works 20. Livy – History of Rome 21. Ovid – Works 22. Plutarch – Parallel Lives; Moralia 23. Tacitus – Histories; Annals; Agricola Germania 24. Nicomachus of Gerasa – Introduction to Arithmetic 25. Epictetus – Discourses; Encheiridion 26. Ptolemy – Almagest 27. Lucian – Works 28. Marcus Aurelius – Meditations 29. Galen – On the Natural Faculties 30. The New Testament 31. Plotinus – The Enneads 32. St. Augustine – On the Teacher; Confessions; City of God; On Christian Doctrine 33. The Song of Roland 34. The Nibelungenlied 35. The Saga of Burnt Njál 36. St. Thomas Aquinas – Summa Theologica 37. Dante Alighieri – The Divine Comedy;The New Life; On Monarchy 38. Geoffrey Chaucer – Troilus and Criseyde; The Canterbury Tales 39. Leonardo da Vinci – Notebooks 40. Niccolò Machiavelli – The Prince; Discourses on the First Ten Books of Livy 41. Desiderius Erasmus – The Praise of Folly 42. Nicolaus Copernicus – On the Revolutions of the Heavenly Spheres 43. Thomas More – Utopia 44. Martin Luther – Table Talk; Three Treatises 45. François Rabelais – Gargantua and Pantagruel 46. John Calvin – Institutes of the Christian Religion 47. Michel de Montaigne – Essays 48. William Gilbert – On the Loadstone and Magnetic Bodies 49. Miguel de Cervantes – Don Quixote 50. Edmund Spenser – Prothalamion; The Faerie Queene 51. Francis Bacon – Essays; Advancement of Learning; Novum Organum, New Atlantis 52. William Shakespeare – Poetry and Plays 53. Galileo Galilei – Starry Messenger; Dialogues Concerning Two New Sciences 54. Johannes Kepler – Epitome of Copernican Astronomy; Concerning the Harmonies of the World 55. William Harvey – On the Motion of the Heart and Blood in Animals; On the Circulation of the Blood; On the Generation of Animals 56. Thomas Hobbes – Leviathan 57. René Descartes – Rules for the Direction of the Mind; Discourse on the Method; Geometry; Meditations on First Philosophy 58. John Milton – Works 59. Molière – Comedies 60. Blaise Pascal – The Provincial Letters; Pensees; Scientific Treatises 61. Christiaan Huygens – Treatise on Light 62. Benedict de Spinoza – Ethics 63. John Locke – Letter Concerning Toleration; Of Civil Government; Essay Concerning Human Understanding;Thoughts Concerning Education 64. Jean Baptiste Racine – Tragedies 65. Isaac Newton – Mathematical Principles of Natural Philosophy; Optics 66. Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz – Discourse on Metaphysics; New Essays Concerning Human Understanding;Monadology 67. Daniel Defoe – Robinson Crusoe 68. Jonathan Swift – A Tale of a Tub; Journal to Stella; Gulliver's Travels; A Modest Proposal 69. William Congreve – The Way of the World 70. George Berkeley – Principles of Human Knowledge 71. Alexander Pope – Essay on Criticism; Rape of the Lock; Essay on Man 72. Charles de Secondat, baron de Montesquieu – Persian Letters; Spirit of Laws 73. Voltaire – Letters on the English; Candide; Philosophical Dictionary 74. Henry Fielding – Joseph Andrews; Tom Jones 75. Samuel Johnson – The Vanity of Human Wishes; Dictionary; Rasselas; The Lives of the Poets
Mortimer J. Adler (How to Read a Book: The Classic Guide to Intelligent Reading)
We must not believe the many, who say that only free people ought to be educated, but we should rather believe the philosophers who say that only the educated are free.
Epictetus (The Discourses)
The philosopher's school, ye men, is a surgery: you ought not to go out of it with pleasure, but with pain. For you are not in sound health when you enter.
Epictetus (The Discourses)
Remember to act always as if you were at a symposium. When the food or drink comes around, reach out and take some politely; if it passes you by don't try pulling it back. And if it has not reached you yet, don't let your desire run ahead of you, be patient until your turn comes. Adopt a similar attitude with regard to children, wife, wealth and status, and in time, you will be entitled to dine with the gods. Go further and decline these goods even when they are on offer and you will have a share in the gods' power as well as their company. That is how Diogenes, Heraclitus and philosophers like them came to be called, and considered, divine.
Epictetus (The Art of Living: The Classical Manual on Virtue, Happiness and Effectiveness)
Some young women confuse their self-worth with their ability to attract the attention of men, and so pour all their energies into makeup, clothing, and jewelry. If only they realized that virtue, honor, and self-respect are the marks of a true beauty.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
Greek philosopher Epictetus says, “Wealth consists not in having great possessions, but in having few wants.
Neil Pasricha (The Happiness Equation: Want Nothing + Do Anything = Have Everything)
So don't make a show of your philosophical learning to the uninitiated, show them by your actions what you have absorbed.
Epictetus (Discourses and Selected Writings)
The condition and characteristic of an uninstructed person is this: he never expects from himself profit (advantage) nor harm, but from externals. The condition and characteristic of a philosopher is this: he expects all advantage and all harm from himself.
Epictetus (Enchiridion and Selections from the Discourses)
If you find yourself acting to impress others, or avoiding action out of fear of what they might think, you have left the path.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
Many people who have progressively lowered their personal standards in an attempt to win social acceptance and life’s comforts bitterly resent those of philosophical bent who refuse to compromise their spiritual ideals and who seek to better themselves.
Epictetus (The Art of Living: The Classical Manual on Virtue, Happiness and Effectiveness)
No one can steal your peace of mind unless you let them.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
If you ever happen to turn your attention to externals, for the pleasure of any one, be assured that you have ruined your scheme of life. Be contented, then, in everything, with being a philosopher; and if you with to seem so likewise to any one, appear so to yourself, and it will suffice you.
Epictetus (The Enchiridion of Epictetus)
For in this Case, we are not to give Credit to the Many, who say, that none ought to be educated but the Free; but rather to the Philosophers, who say, that the Well-educated alone are free.
Epictetus (All the Works of Epictetus)
And the way to be free is to let go of anything that is not within your control.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
In short, we do not abandon any discipline for despair of ever being the best in it.
Epictetus (Of Human Freedom (Penguin Great Ideas))
Do not wish that all things will go well with you, but that you will go well with all things.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
When you are feeling upset, angry, or sad,” Epictetus said, “don’t blame another for your state of mind. Your condition is the result of your own opinions and interpretations. . . .
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
If you meet temptation, use self-control; if you meet pain, use fortitude; if you meet revulsion, use patience.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
If you pin your hopes on things outside your control, taking upon yourself things which rightfully belong to others, you are liable to stumble, fall, suffer, and blame both gods and men. But if you focus your attention only on what is truly your own concern, and leave to others what concerns them, then you will be in charge of your interior life. No one will be able to harm or hinder you. You will blame no one, and have no enemies.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
If you win the adoration of others by pretending to be someone you’re not, you may gain celebrity or high office—but you will lose out on the fulfillment of a life best-suited to your attributes and abilities.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
If what philosophers say of the kinship of God and Man be true, what remains for men to do but as Socrates did:—never, when asked one's country, to answer, "I am an Athenian or a Corinthian," but "I am a citizen of the world.
Epictetus (The Golden Sayings of Epictetus)
End the habit of despising things that are not within your power, and apply your aversion to things that are within your power.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
If you wish to be a writer; write! Send quote to a friend Epictetus (50-120) Greek philosopher.
Epictetus
The philosopher's lecture room is a 'hospital': you ought not to walk out of it in a state of pleasure, but in pain; for you are not in good condition when you arrive.
Epictetus
Follow your principles as though they were laws. Do not worry if others criticize or laugh at you, for their opinions are not your concern.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
Nineteen centuries ago, the Greek Stoic philosopher Epictetus said, “Nature hath given men one tongue but two ears, that we may hear from others twice as much as we speak.
Daniel H. Pink (To Sell Is Human: The Surprising Truth About Moving Others)
The Greek philosopher Epictetus said, “First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.
Laini Taylor (Night of Cake & Puppets (Daughter of Smoke & Bone, #1.5))
The Greek philosopher Epictetus recognised this two thousand years ago when he wrote: ‘What disturbs and alarms man are not the things but his opinions and fancies about the things.
Robert Harris (The Fear Index)
The Yogic path is about disentangling the built-in glitches of the human condition, which I'm going to over-simply define here as the heartbreaking inability to sustain contentment. Different schools of thought over the centuries have found different explanation for man's apparently inherently flawed state. Taoists call it imbalance, Buddism calls it ignorance, Islam blames our misery on rebellion against God, and the Judeo-Christian tradition attributes all our suffering to original sin. Freudians say that unhappiness is the inevitable result of the clash between our natural drives and civilization's needs. (As my friend Deborah the psychologist explains it: "Desire is the design flaw.") The Yogis, however, say that human discontentment is a simple case of mistaken identity. We're miserable because we think that we are mere individuals, alone with our fears and flaws and resentments and mortality. We wrongly believe that our limited little egos constitute our whole entire nature. We have failed to recognize our deeper divine character. We don't realize that, somewhere within us all, there does exist a supreme Self who is eternally at peace. That supreme Self is our true identity, universal and divine. Before you realize this truth, say the Yogis, you will always be in despair, a notion nicely expressed in this exasperated line from the Greek stoic philosopher Epictetus: "You bear God within you, poor wretch, and know it not.
Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love)
If you have an earnest desire towards philosophy, prepare yourself from the very first to have the multitude laugh and sneer, and say, "He is returned to us a philosopher all at once; "and "Whence this supercilious look?" Now, for your part, do not have a supercilious look indeed; but keep steadily to those things which appear best to you, as one appointed by God to this particular station. For remember that, if you are persistent, those very persons who at first ridiculed will afterwards admire you. But if you are conquered by them, you will incur a double ridicule.
Epictetus (The Enchiridion of Epictetus)
For your part, do not adopt any air of superiority. Mind your own business, keep busy with the work you are best suited for, and play well the part the Author has given you.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
Epictetus, a Greek philosopher, once wrote, “Circumstances do not make the man. They merely reveal him to himself.
Brian Tracy (The 21 Success Secrets of Self-Made Millionaires: How to Achieve Financial Independence Faster and Easier Than You Ever Thought Possible (The Laws of Success Series))
When you desire something outside your sphere of power, you set yourself up for disappointment
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
we should put our trust not in the crowd, who say that only free men can be educated, but rather in the philosophers, who say that none but the educated can be free.
Epictetus (Discourses, Fragments, Handbook)
realize that by “philosophers” Epictetus doesn’t mean professional academics (trust me, you don’t want to make a habit of socializing mostly with them), but rather people who are interested in following virtue and cultivating their character.
Massimo Pigliucci (How to Be a Stoic: Using Ancient Philosophy to Live a Modern Life)
Never call yourself a philosopher, nor talk a great deal among the unlearned about theorems, but act conformably to them. Thus, at an entertainment, don’t talk how persons ought to eat, but eat as you ought. For remember that in this manner Socrates also universally avoided all ostentation. And when persons came to him and desired to be recommended by him to philosophers, he took and recommended them, so well did he bear being overlooked. So that if ever any talk should happen among the unlearned concerning philosophic theorems, be you, for the most part, silent. For there is great danger in immediately throwing out what you have not digested. And, if anyone tells you that you know nothing, and you are not nettled at it, then you may be sure that you have begun your business. For sheep don’t throw up the grass to show the shepherds how much they have eaten; but, inwardly digesting their food, they outwardly produce wool and milk. Thus, therefore, do you likewise not show theorems to the unlearned, but the actions produced by them after they have been digested.
Epictetus (The Enchiridion & Discourses of Epictetus)
Freedom is not achieved by satisfying desire, but by eliminating it. Assure yourself of this by expending as much effort on these new ambitions as you did on those elusive goals. Work day and night to obtain a liberated frame of mind. Instead of a rich old man, cultivate the company of a philosopher. Be seen hanging around his door for a change. There’s no shame in the association, and you won’t go away unedified or empty-handed, provided you go with the right attitude. Try, at least - There in no shame in making an honest effort.
Epictetus (Discourses and Selected Writings)
So, if you have not been invited to a party, it is because you haven’t paid the price of the invitation. It costs social engagement, conversation, encouragement, and praise. If you are not willing to pay this price, do not be upset when you don’t receive an invitation.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
The fear of death stems from the view that it is fearful.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
If you wish to be free, do not desire anything that depends on another, lest you make them your master.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
Whenever you act from clear judgment, doing what needs to be done, do not worry about what others will think—even if the whole world might misunderstand you.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
If you are praised by others, be skeptical of yourself.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
Whenever misfortune befalls you, ask yourself how you would react if it were someone else in the same situation.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
From this instant, then, choose to act like the worthy and capable person you are. Follow unwaveringly what reason tells you is the best course.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
The Good stands before us like an archer’s target. Evil is not a thing in itself but a missing of the mark, an arrow gone astray.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
The whole point of learning is to live out the teachings.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
I cannot stay in harmony if I let myself become upset by things beyond my control.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
They may kill me, but they cannot hurt me. —Socrates
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
reconciliation. Remember that you are friends, you’ve known each for other a long time, and the relationship is worth keeping.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
Whatever your vocation, pursue it wholeheartedly. Consider, choose, and commit.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
People who are ignorant of philosophy blame others for their own misfortunes. Those who are beginning to learn philosophy blame themselves. Those who have mastered philosophy blame no one.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
Philosophers say that people are all guided by a single standard. When they assent to a thing, it is because they feel it must be true, when they dissent, it is because they feel something isn't true, and when they suspend judgement, it is because they feel that the thing is unclear.
Epictetus (Discourses and Selected Writings)
Whenever a challenge arises, turn inward and ask what power you can exercise in the situation. If you meet temptation, use self-control; if you meet pain, use fortitude; if you meet revulsion, use patience. In this way, you will overcome life’s challenges, rather than be overcome by them.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
But I want power and renown so that I may help other people,” you say. What do you mean by “help”? Can you really give them happiness and satisfaction—things that are in their own spheres of power, not yours?
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
When you feel burning desire for something that appears pleasureful, you are like a person under a spell. Instead of acting on impulse, take a step back—wait till the enchantment fades and you can see things as they are.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
As you travel the path of philosophy, be content to be considered plain or even foolish. Do not strive to be celebrated for anything. If you are praised by others, be skeptical of yourself. For it it is no easy feat to hold onto your inner harmony while collecting accolades. When grasping for one, you are likely to drop the other.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
When you are feeling upset, angry, or sad,” Epictetus said, “don’t blame another for your state of mind. Your condition is the result of your own opinions and interpretations. . . . “When anyone provokes you, remember that it is actually your own opinion provoking you. It is not the person who insults or attacks you who torments your mind, but the view you take of these things.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
Stop judging the things that fate brings you as “good” or “evil”; only judge your own thoughts, desires, and actions as good or evil. If you suppose events to be good or evil in themselves, when life doesn’t go as you wish you will inevitably blame the Author.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
Modern philosopher Nassim Taleb has warned of the “narrative fallacy”—the tendency to assemble unrelated events of the past into stories. These stories, however gratifying to create, are inherently misleading. They lead to a sense of cohesion and certainty that isn’t real.
Ryan Holiday (The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living: Featuring new translations of Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius)
That’s why the philosophers warn us not to be satisfied with mere learning, but to add practice and then training. For as time passes we forget what we learned and end up doing the opposite, and hold opinions the opposite of what we should.” —EPICTETUS, DISCOURSES, 2.9.13–14
Ryan Holiday (The Daily Stoic: 366 Meditations on Wisdom, Perseverance, and the Art of Living: Featuring new translations of Seneca, Epictetus, and Marcus Aurelius)
Our possessions should be suited to our bodies and lives, just as our shoes are suited to our feet. Could you run better if your shoes were larger than your feet, or gold-plated and diamond studded? Of course not. Once you let your appetite exceed what is necessary and useful, desire knows no bounds.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
If you wish to have peace and contentment, release your attachment to all things outside your control.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
People are not disturbed by things themselves, but by the views they take of those things.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
remain steadfast in pursuing your mission, always willing to shed distractions.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
Each time an obstacle arises, remind yourself of this truth. While it may hinder some part of you, it cannot constrain your true self.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
Do not say of anything “I have lost it,” but rather, “I have given it back.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
It is not your concern by what means something returns to the Source from which it came.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
For as long as the Source entrusts something to your hands, treat it as something borrowed, like a traveller at an inn.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
And when you ask your employee to do something, remember that she may not do as you wish. But giving her the power to upset you does no good for either of you.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
it is no easy feat to hold onto your inner harmony while collecting accolades. When grasping for one, you are likely to drop the other.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
You cannot choose the era, nationality, family, and body into which you are born. But to act well in your given role—this is your sphere of power.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
Nothing is foreboding to me. All signs point to good luck, if I interpret them that way. Whatever life brings, I can use it to my advantage.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
If you make peace with all things that are beyond your power, refusing to fight them, you will be invincible.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
It is not the person who insults or attacks you who torments your mind, but the view you take of these things.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
Find satisfaction in following your philosophy. If you want to be respected, start by respecting yourself.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
Find your significance within yourself. Within your own sphere of power—that is where you have the greatest consequence.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
A person who rarely leaves home, who doesn’t converse with, praise, and encourage others, will not attract friends.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
In every situation, consider what precedes it and what may follow—then act. If you act rashly, without regard to consequences, you may defeat your purposes.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
Instead of acting on impulse, take a step back—wait till the enchantment fades and you can see things as they are.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
An ignorant person is one who is tossed about between elation and despair by external forces and events.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
I owe a lot to my upbringing. I was made for it and made by it. I wouldn’t be who I am today without each one of those experiences. The Stoics have a term for this: amor fati. Love of fate. “Do not seek for things to happen the way you want them to,” the great Stoic philosopher and former slave Epictetus said. “Rather, wish that what happens happen the way it happens. Then you will be happy.
Arnold Schwarzenegger (Be Useful: Seven Tools for Life)
But I’ll get money, and then share it.” If you can acquire riches without losing your honor and self-respect, then do it. But if you lose what is dearest to you, no amount of money can make up for it.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
Whenever someone helps or hinders you, or praises or criticizes you, remember that they see you only through the lens of their own impressions. If they act or speak from a warped perspective, they hurt themselves—not you.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
At a feast, taking the largest helping may be good for your appetite, but sharing generously is good for the spirit of the celebration. In this case, honoring your hosts and fellow guests should be valued above sating your hunger.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
If, on the other hand, we read books entitled On Impulse not just out of idle curiosity, but in order to exercise impulse correctly; books entitled On Desire and On Aversion so as not to fail to get what we desire or fall victim to what we would rather avoid; and books entitled On Moral Obligation in order to honour our relationships and never do anything that clashes or conflicts with this principle; then we wouldn’t get frustrated and grow impatient with our reading. Instead we would be satisfied to act accordingly. And rather than reckon, as we are used to doing, ‘How many lines I read, or wrote, today,’ we would pass in review how ‘I applied impulse today the way the philosophers recommend
Epictetus (Of Human Freedom (Penguin Great Ideas))
There are things that are within our power, and things that fall outside our power. Within our power are our own opinions, aims, desires, dislikes—in sum, our own thoughts and actions. Outside our power are our physical characteristics, the class into which we were born, our reputation in the eyes of others, and honors and offices that may be bestowed on us.  Working within our sphere of control, we are naturally free, independent, and strong. Beyond that sphere, we are weak, limited, and dependent. If you pin your hopes on things outside your control, taking upon yourself things which rightfully belong to others, you are liable to stumble, fall, suffer, and blame both gods and men. But if you focus your attention only on what is truly your own concern, and leave to others what concerns them, then you will be in charge of your interior life. No one will be able to harm or hinder you. You will blame no one, and have no enemies.  If you wish to have peace and contentment, release your attachment to all things outside your control. This is the path of freedom and happiness. If you want not just peace and contentment, but power and wealth too, you may forfeit the former in seeking the latter, and will lose your freedom and happiness along the way.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
What is my position in society?” The one best suited to your talents, which you can hold with honor. Each person has a vital role in society; you are important right where you are. But if you lose your honor in striving for greater (perceived) significance, you become useless.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
It betrays a lack of an interior life when a person is overly focused on bodily things—whether indulging in food and drink, exercising to exhaustion, or spending excessive time on grooming. Care for your body as needed, but put your main energies and efforts into cultivating your mind.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
Remind yourself, “What upsets this person is their opinion of what has happened. Another in the same circumstance, taking a different perspective, would react quite differently.”   Do not share these thoughts with the grieving person. Sympathize with them—even cry with them. Your tears will be outward, not inward.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
Act in this way regarding spouses, children, honors, offices, and wealth, and you will become worthy to feast with the gods. More than this—if you abstain from the rich desserts that come your way, passing them on to others, you will become worthy to rule with the gods. This was the way of Diogenes and Heraclitus, and they are now venerated as divine.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
At a feast, do not give a speech about how everyone should eat. Only eat as you should. Socrates never made a spectacle of himself or put on an air of authority. In philosophical conversations, follow his example—stay mostly silent; ask questions and listen intently. If anyone calls you ignorant and says you know nothing, be sure that you are now a true student of philosophy.
Epictetus (The Manual: A Philosopher's Guide to Life)
If you now neglect things and are lazy and are always making delay after delay and set one day after another as the day for paying attention to yourself, then without realizing it you will make no progress but will end up a non-philosopher all through life and death. So decide now that you are worthy of living as a full-grown man who is making progress, and make everything that seems best to be a law that you cannot go against. And if you meet with any hardship or anything pleasant or reputable or disreputable, then remember that the contest is now . . . and you cannot put things off anymore and that your progress is made or destroyed by a single day and a single action.
Epictetus
Whatever rules you have adopted, abide by them as laws, and as if you would be impious to transgress them; and do not regard what anyone says of you, for this, after all, is no concern of yours. How long, then, will you delay to demand of yourself the noblest improvements, and in no instance to transgress the judgments of reason? You have received the philosophic principles with which you ought to be conversant; and you have been conversant with them. For what other master, then, do you wait as an excuse for this delay in self-reformation? You are no longer a boy but a grown man. If, therefore, you will be negligent and slothful, and always add procrastination to procrastination, purpose to purpose, and fix day after day in which you will attend to yourself, you will insensibly continue to accomplish nothing and, living and dying, remain of vulgar mind. This instant, then, think yourself worthy of living as a man grown up and a proficient. Let whatever appears to be the best be to you an inviolable law. And if any instance of pain or pleasure, glory or disgrace, be set before you, remember that now is the combat, now the Olympiad comes on, nor can it be put off; and that by one failure and defeat honor may be lost or—won. Thus Socrates became perfect, improving himself by everything, following reason alone. And though you are not yet a Socrates, you ought, however, to live as one seeking to be a Socrates.
Epictetus (The Enchiridion (Illustrated))
In every affair consider what precedes and what follows, and then undertake it. Otherwise you will begin with spirit, indeed, careless of the consequences, and when these are developed, you will shamefully desist. “I would conquer at the Olympic Games.” But consider what precedes and what follows, and then, if it be for your advantage, engage in the affair. You must conform to rules, submit to a diet, refrain from dainties; exercise your body, whether you choose it or not, at a stated hour, in heat and cold; you must drink no cold water, and sometimes no wine—in a word, you must give yourself up to your trainer as to a physician. Then, in the combat, you may be thrown into a ditch, dislocate your arm, turn your ankle, swallow an abundance of dust, receive stripes [for negligence], and, after all, lose the victory. When you have reckoned up all this, if your inclination still holds, set about the combat. Otherwise, take notice, you will behave like children who sometimes play wrestlers, sometimes gladiators, sometimes blow a trumpet, and sometimes act a tragedy, when they happen to have seen and admired these shows. Thus you too will be at one time a wrestler, and another a gladiator; now a philosopher, now an orator; but nothing in earnest. Like an ape you mimic all you see, and one thing after another is sure to please you, but is out of favor as soon as it becomes familiar. For you have never entered upon anything considerately; nor after having surveyed and tested the whole matter, but carelessly, and with a halfway zeal. Thus some, when they have seen a philosopher and heard a man speaking like Euphrates[3]—though, indeed, who can speak like him?—have a mind to be philosophers, too. Consider first, man, what the matter is, and what your own nature is able to bear. If you would be a wrestler, consider your shoulders, your back, your thighs; for different persons are made for different things. Do you think that you can act as you do and be a philosopher, that you can eat, drink, be angry, be discontented, as you are now? You must watch, you must labor, you must get the better of certain appetites, must quit your acquaintances, be despised by your servant, be laughed at by those you meet; come off worse than others in everything—in offices, in honors, before tribunals. When you have fully considered all these things, approach, if you please—that is, if, by parting with them, you have a mind to purchase serenity, freedom, and tranquillity. If not, do not come hither; do not, like children, be now a philosopher, then a publican, then an orator, and then one of Caesar’s officers. These things are not consistent. You must be one man, either good or bad. You must cultivate either your own reason or else externals; apply yourself either to things within or without you—that is, be either a philosopher or one of the mob.
Epictetus (The Enchiridion (Illustrated))
Whether human affairs are directed by Fate’s unalterable necessity, or by chance, is a question. The wisest of philosophers disagree on this point. [Epicureans] insist that heaven is unconcerned with our birth and death – is unconcerned, in fact, with human beings generally – with the result that good people often suffer while wicked people thrive. [The Stoics] disagree, maintaining that although things happen according to fate, this depends not on the movement of the planets but on the principles and logic of natural causality. This school concedes to us the freedom to choose our own lives. Once the choice is made, however, the Stoics warn that the subsequent sequence of events cannot be altered. With regard to practical matters they maintain that popular ideas of good and bad are wrong: many people who appear to be in dire circumstances are actually happy provided they deal with their situation bravely; others, regardless of how many possessions they have, are miserable, because they do not know how to use the gifts of fortune wisely.
Epictetus (Discourses and Selected Writings (Classics))