β
It is sometimes an appropriate response to reality to go insane.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (VALIS)
β
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (I Hope I Shall Arrive Soon)
β
I'm not much but I'm all I have.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Martian Time-Slip)
β
My schedule for today lists a six-hour self-accusatory depression.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?)
β
The true measure of a man is not his intelligence or how high he rises in this freak establishment. No, the true measure of a man is this: how quickly can he respond to the needs of others and how much of himself he can give.
β
β
Philip K. Dick
β
Don't try to solve serious matters in the middle of the night.
β
β
Philip K. Dick
β
The problem with introspection is that it has no end.
β
β
Philip K. Dick
β
The basic tool for the manipulation of reality is the manipulation of words. If you can control the meaning of words, you can control the people who must use them.
β
β
Philip K. Dick
β
If you think this Universe is bad, you should see some of the others.
β
β
Philip K. Dick
β
There will come a time when it isn't 'They're spying on me through my phone' anymore. Eventually, it will be 'My phone is spying on me'.
β
β
Philip K. Dick
β
Reality denied comes back to haunt.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said)
β
Everything in life is just for a while.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (A Scanner Darkly)
β
When you are crazy you learn to keep quiet.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (VALIS)
β
You will be required to do wrong no matter where you go. It is the basic condition of life, to be required to violate your own identity. At some time, every creature which lives must do so. It is the ultimate shadow, the defeat of creation; this is the curse at work, the curse that feeds on all life. Everywhere in the universe.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?)
β
A weird time in which we are alive. We can travel anywhere we want, even to other planets. And for what? To sit day after day, declining in morale and hope.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (The Man in the High Castle)
β
Truth, she thought. As terrible as death. But harder to find.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (The Man in the High Castle)
β
There exists, for everyone, a sentence - a series of words - that has the power to destroy you. Another sentence exists, another series of words, that could heal you. If you're lucky you will get the second, but you can be certain of getting the first.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (VALIS)
β
No single thing abides; and all things are fucked up.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (The Transmigration of Timothy Archer)
β
Today we live in a society in which spurious realities are manufactured by the media, by governments, by big corporations, by religious groups, political groups... So I ask, in my writing, What is real? Because unceasingly we are bombarded with pseudo-realities manufactured by very sophisticated people using very sophisticated electronic mechanisms. I do not distrust their motives; I distrust their power. They have a lot of it. And it is an astonishing power: that of creating whole universes, universes of the mind. I ought to know. I do the same thing.
β
β
Philip K. Dick
β
Maybe each human being lives in a unique world, a private world different from those inhabited and experienced by all other humans. . . If reality differs from person to person, can we speak of reality singular, or shouldn't we really be talking about plural realities? And if there are plural realities, are some more true (more real) than others? What about the world of a schizophrenic? Maybe it's as real as our world. Maybe we cannot say that we are in touch with reality and he is not, but should instead say, His reality is so different from ours that he can't explain his to us, and we can't explain ours to him. The problem, then, is that if subjective worlds are experienced too differently, there occurs a breakdown in communication ... and there is the real illness.
β
β
Philip K. Dick
β
This is a mournful discovery.
1)Those who agree with you are insane
2)Those who do not agree with you are in power.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (VALIS)
β
You mean old books?"
"Stories written before space travel but about space travel."
"How could there have been stories about space travel before --"
"The writers," Pris said, "made it up.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?)
β
This, to me, is the ultimately heroic trait of ordinary people; they say no to the tyrant and they calmly take the consequences of this resistance.
β
β
Philip K. Dick
β
Strange how paranoia can link up with reality now and then.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (A Scanner Darkly)
β
Just because something bears the aspect of the inevitable one should not, therefore, go along willingly with it.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (The Transmigration of Timothy Archer)
β
The pre-Socratic Greek philosopher Parmenides taught that the only things that are real are things which never change... and the pre-Socratic Greek philosopher Heraclitus taught that everything changes. If you superimpose their two views, you get this result: Nothing is real.
β
β
Philip K. Dick
β
A man is an angel that has gone deranged.
β
β
Philip K. Dick
β
I guess that's the story of life: what you most fear never happens, but what you most yearn for never happens either. This is the difference between life and fiction. I suppose it's a good trade-off. But I'm not sure.
β
β
Philip K. Dick
β
Certainly it constitutes bad news when the people who agree with you are buggier than batshit.
β
β
Philip K. Dick
β
There is no route out of the maze. The maze shifts as you move through it, because it is alive.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (VALIS)
β
If I had known it was harmless I would have killed it myself.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (A Scanner Darkly)
β
It really seems to me that in the midst of great tragedy, there is always the horrible possibility that something terribly funny will happen.
β
β
Philip K. Dick
β
Fear can make you do more wrong than hate or jealousy... fear makes you always, always hold something back.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (VALIS)
β
It's the basic condition of life to be required to violate our own identity.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?)
β
To live is to be haunted.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said)
β
The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (VALIS)
β
I like her; I could watch her the rest of my life. She has breasts that smile.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?)
β
The distinction between sanity and insanity is narrower than a razorβs edge, sharper than a houndβs tooth, more agile than a mule deer. It is more elusive than the merest phantom. Perhaps it does not even exist; perhaps it is a phantom.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (VALIS)
β
I never felt like that before. Maybe it could be depression, like you get. I can understand how you suffer now when you're depressed; I always thought you liked it and I thought you could have snapped yourself out any time, if not alone then by means of the mood organ. But when you get that depressed you don't care. Apathy, because you've lost a sense of worth. It doesn't matter whether you feel better because you have no worth.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?)
β
No structure, even an artificial one, enjoys the process of entropy. It is the ultimate fate of everything, and everything resists it.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Galactic Pot-Healer)
β
It has been said of dreams that they are a 'controlled psychosis,' or, put another way, a psychosis is a dream breaking through during waking hours.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (VALIS)
β
Empathy, he once had decided, must be limited to herbivores or anyhow omnivores who could depart from a meat diet. Because, ultimately, the empathic gift blurred the boundaries between hunter and victim, between the successful and the defeated.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?)
β
So books are real to me, too; they link me not just with other minds but with the vision of other minds, what those minds understand and see. I see their worlds as well as I see my own.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (The Transmigration of Timothy Archer)
β
How undisturbed, the sleep of the foolish.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Radio Free Albemuth)
β
We are all insects. Groping towards something terrible or divine.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (The Man in the High Castle)
β
For each person there is a sentenceβa series of wordsβwhich has the power to destroy them.
β
β
Philip K. Dick
β
Fish cannot carry guns.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (VALIS)
β
You have to be with other people, he thought. In order to live at all. I mean before they came here I could stand it... But now it has changed. You can't go back, he thought. You can't go from people to nonpeople." - J.R. Isidore
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?)
β
β¦we all lie to ourselves; we tell our own selves more lies than we ever do other people.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Counter-Clock World)
β
Sometimes I wish I knew how to go crazy. I forget how.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (A Scanner Darkly)
β
Emigrate or Degenerate.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?)
β
Mors certa, vita incerta,
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?)
β
They wanted to have a good time, but they were like children playing in the street; they could see one after another of them being killed--run over, maimed, destroyed--but they continued to play anyhow.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (A Scanner Darkly)
β
He felt all at once like an ineffectual moth, fluttering at the windowpane of reality, dimly seeing it from outside.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Ubik)
β
Everybody knows that Aristotelian two-value logic is fucked.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (VALIS)
β
Everything is true,' he said. 'Everything anybody has ever thought.'
'Will you be all right?'
'I'll be all right,' he said, and thought, And I'm going to die. Both those are true, too.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?)
β
Perhaps if you know you are insane then you are not insane. Or you are becoming sane, finally. Waking up.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (The Man in the High Castle)
β
Imagine being sentient but not alive. Seeing and even knowing, but not alive. Just looking out. Recognizing but not being alive. A person can die and still go on. Sometimes what looks out at you from a person's eyes maybe died back in childhood.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (A Scanner Darkly)
β
What profit it a man if he gain the whole world but in this enterprise lose his soul?
β
β
Philip K. Dick (The Man in the High Castle)
β
Maybe I'll go where I can see stars, he said to himself as the car gained velocity and altitude; it headed away from San Francisco, toward the uninhabited desolation to the north. To the place where no living thing would go. Not unless it felt that the end had come.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?)
β
On some other world, possibly it is different. Better. There are clear good and evil alternatives. Not these obscure admixtures, these blends, with no proper tool by which to untangle the components.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (The Man in the High Castle)
β
Grief reunites you with what you've lost. It's a merging; you go with the loved thing or person that's going away. You follow it a far as you can go.
But finally,the grief goes away and you phase back into the world. Without him.
And you can accept that. What the hell choice is there? You cry, you continue to cry, because you don't ever completely come back from where you went with him -- a fragment broken off your pulsing, pumping heart is there still. A cut that never heals.
And if, when it happens to you over and over again in life, too much of your heart does finally go away, then you can't feel grief any more. And then you yourself are ready to die. You'll walk up the inclined ladder and someone else will remain behind grieving for you.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said)
β
What does a scanner see? he asked himself. I mean, really see? Into the head? Down into the heart? Does a passive infrared scanner like they used to use or a cube-type holo-scanner like they use these days, the latest thing, see into me - into us - clearly or darkly? I hope it does, he thought, see clearly, because I can't any longer these days see into myself. I see only murk. Murk outside; murk inside. I hope, for everyone's sake, the scanners do better. Because, he thought, if the scanner sees only darkly, the way I myself do, then we are cursed, cursed again and like we have been continually, and we'll wind up dead this way, knowing very little and getting that little fragment wrong too.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (A Scanner Darkly)
β
But the actual touch of her lingered, inside his heart. That remained. In all the years of his life ahead, the long years without her, with never seeing her or hearing from her or knowing anything about her, if she was alive or happy or dead or what, that touch stayed locked within him, sealed in himself, and never went away. That one touch of her hand.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (A Scanner Darkly)
β
Just tell me why; why the fucking why?" To which the universe would hollowly respond, "My ways cannot be known, oh man." Which is to say, "My ways do not make sense, nor do the ways of those who dwell in me.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (VALIS)
β
The bird is gone, and in what meadow does it now sing?
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said)
β
It is amazing that when someone else spouts the nonsense you yourself believe you can readily perceive it as nonsense
β
β
Philip K. Dick (VALIS)
β
I love you,' Rachael said. 'If I entered a room and found a sofa covered with your hide I'd score very high on the Voigt-Kampff test.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?)
β
I'd like to see you move up to the goat class, where I think you belong.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?)
β
I'm tired and I want to rest; I want to get out of this and go lie down somewhere, off where it's dark and no one speaks. Forever.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Dr. Bloodmoney)
β
How'd you like to gaze at a beer can throughout eternity? It might not be so bad. There'd be nothing to fear.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (A Scanner Darkly)
β
When I was a child, I thought as a child. But now I have put away childish things. ... I must be scientific.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (The Man in the High Castle)
β
What they do not comprehend is man's helplessness. I am weak, small, of no consequence to the universe. It does not notice me; I live on unseen. But why is that bad? Isn't it that way? Whom the gods notice they destroy. Be small⦠and you will escape the jealousy of the great.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (The Man in the High Castle)
β
Future and past blurred; what he had already experienced and what he would eventually experience blended so that nothing remained but the moment.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?)
β
It's easy to win. Anybody can win.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (A Scanner Darkly)
β
It takes a certain amount of courage, he thought, to face yourself and say with candor, I'm rotten. I've done evil and I will again. It was no accident; it emanated from the true, authentic me.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch)
β
I am Ubik. Before the universe was, I am. I made the suns. I made the worlds. I created the lives and the places they inhabit; I move them here, I put them there. They go as I say, then do as I tell them. I am the word and my name is never spoken, the name which no one knows. I am called Ubik, but that is not my name. I am. I shall always be.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Ubik)
β
The mentally disturbed do not employ the Principle of Scientific Parsimony: the most simple theory to explain a given set of facts. They shoot for the baroque.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (VALIS)
β
If the last to know heβs an addict is the addict, then maybe the last to know when a man means what he says is the man himself, he reflected.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (A Scanner Darkly)
β
Each of us assumes everyone else knows what HE is doing. They all assume we know what WE are doing. We don't...Nothing is going on and nobody knows what it is. Nobody is concealing anything except the fact that he does not understand anything anymore and wishes he could go home.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (VALIS)
β
Science fiction writers, I am sorry to say, really do not know anything. We can't talk about science, because our knowledge of it is limited and unofficial, and usually our fiction is dreadful.
β
β
Philip K. Dick
β
There is evil! It's actual, like cement.
I can't believe it. I can't stand it.
Evil is not a view ... it's an ingredient in us. In the world. Poured over us, filtering into our bodies, minds, hearts, into the pavement itself.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (The Man in the High Castle)
β
We do not have the ideal world, such as we would like, where morality is easy because cognition is easy. Where one can do right with no effort because he can detect the obvious.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (The Man in the High Castle)
β
God is dead,' Nick said. 'They found his carcass in 2019. Floating in space near Alpha.'
'They found the remains of an organism advanced several thousand times over what we are,' Charley said. 'And evidently could create habitable worlds and populate them with living organisms, derived from itself. But that doesn't prove it was God.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Our Friends from Frolix 8)
β
They want to be the agents, not the victims, of history. They identify with God's power and believe they are godlike. That is their basic madness. They are overcome by some archtype; their egos have expanded psychotically so that they cannot tell where they begin and the godhead leaves off. It is not hubris, not pride; it is inflation of the ego to its ultimate β confusion between him who worships and that which is worshipped. Man has not eaten God; God has eaten man.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (The Man in the High Castle)
β
I became educated to the fact that the greatest pain does not come zooming down from a distant planet, but from the depths of the heart. Of course, both could happen; your wife and child could leave you, and you could be sitting alone in your empty house with nothing to live for, and in addition the Martians could bore through the roof and get you.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (A Little Something For Us Tempunauts)
β
I want to write about people I love, and put them into a fictional world spun out of my own mind, not the world we actually have, because the world we actually have does not meet my standards. Okay, so I should revise my standards; I'm out of step. I should yield to reality. I have never yielded to reality. That's what SF is all about. If you wish to yield to reality, go read Philip Roth; read the New York literary establishment mainstream bestselling writersβ¦.This is why I love SF. I love to read it; I love to write it. The SF writer sees not just possibilities but wild possibilities. It's not just 'What if' - it's 'My God; what if' - in frenzy and hysteria. The Martians are always coming.
β
β
Philip K. Dick
β
There are no private lives. This a most important aspect of modern life. One of the biggest transformations we have seen in our society is the diminution of the sphere of the private. We must reasonably now all regard the fact that there are no secrets and nothing is private. Everything is public.
β
β
Philip K. Dick
β
Grief causes you to leave yourself. You step outside your narrow little pelt. And you canβt feel grief unless youβve had love before it - grief is the final outcome of love, because itβs love lost. [β¦] Itβs the cycle of love completed: to love, to lose, to feel grief, to leave, and then to love again. Grief is the awareness that you will have to be alone, and there is nothing beyond that because being alone is the ultimate final destiny of each individual living creature. Thatβs what death is, the great loneliness.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said)
β
The pain, so unexpected and undeserved, had for some reason cleared away the cobwebs. I realized I didnβt hate the cabinet door, I hated my lifeβ¦ My house, my family, my backyard, my power mower. Nothing would ever change; nothing new could ever be expected. It had to end, and it did. Now in the dark world where I dwell, ugly things, and surprising things, and sometimes little wondrous things, spill out in me constantly, and I can count on nothing.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (A Scanner Darkly)
β
A human being without the proper empathy or feeling is the same as an android built so as to lack it, either by design or mistake. We mean, basically, someone who does not care about the fate which his fellow living creatures fall victim to; he stands detached, a spectator, acting out by his indifference John Donne's theorem that 'No man is an island,' but giving that theorem a twist: that which is a mental and a moral island is not a man.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (The Dark-Haired Girl)
β
We are served by organic ghosts, he thought, who, speaking and writing, pass through this our new environment. Watching, wise, physical ghosts from the full-life world, elements of which have become for us invading but agreeable splinters of a substance that pulsates like a former heart.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Ubik)
β
Fear can make you do more wrong than hate or jealousy. If youβre afraid you donβt commit yourself to life completely; fear makes you always, always hold something back. You shouldnβt be alone. Itβs killing you; itβs undermining you. All the time, every day, you should be somewhere with people.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Flow My Tears, the Policeman Said)
β
The painting showed a hairless, oppressed creature with a head like an inverted pear, its hands clapped in horror to its ears, its mouth open in a vast, soundless scream. Twisted ripples of the creature's torment, echoes of its cry, flooded out into the air surrounding it; the man or woman, whichever it was, had become contained by its own howl. It had covered its ears against its own sound. The creature stood on a bridge and no one else was present; the creature screamed in isolation. Cut off by - or despite - its outcry.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?)
β
One of the most effective forms of industrial or military sabotage limits itself to damage that can never be thoroughly proven - or even proven at all - to be anything deliberate. It is like an invisible political movement; perhaps it isn't there at all. If a bomb is wired to a car's ignition, then obviously there is an enemy; if public building or a political headquarters is blown up, then there is a political enemy. But if an accident, or a series of accidents, occurs, if equipment merely fails to function, if it appears faulty, especially in a slow fashion, over a period of natural time, with numerous small failures and misfiring- then the victim, whether a person or a party or a country, can never marshal itself to defend itself.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (A Scanner Darkly)
β
At that moment, when I had the TV sound off, I was in a 382 mood; I had just dialed it. So although I heard the emptiness intellectually, I didn't feel it. My first reaction consisted of being grateful that we could afford a Penfield mood organ. But then I realized how unhealthy it was, sensing the absence of life, not just in this building but everywhere, and not reactingβdo you see? I guess you don't. But that used to be considered a sign of mental illness; they called it 'absence of appropriate affect.' So I left the TV sound off and I sat down at my mood organ and I experimented. And I finally found a setting for despair. So I put it on my schedule for twice a month; I think that's a reasonable amount of time to feel hopeless about everything, about staying here on Earth after everybody who's smart has emigrated, don't you think?
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?)
β
Kipple is useless objects, like junk mail or match folders after you use the last match or gum wrappers or yesterday's homeopape. When nobody's around, kipple reproduces itself. For instance, if you go to bed leaving any kipple around your apartment, when you wake up the next morning there's twice as much of it. It always gets more and more."
"I see." The girl regarded him uncertainly, not knowing whether to believe him. Not sure if he meant it seriously.
"There's the First Law of Kipple," he said. "'Kipple drives out nonkipple.' Like Gresham's law about bad money. And in these apartments there's been nobody here to fight the kipple."
"So it has taken over completely," the girl finished. She nodded. "Now I understand."
"Your place, here," he said, "this apartment you've picked--it's too kipple-ized to live in. We can roll the kipple-factor back; we can do like I said, raid the other apts. But--" He broke off.
"But what?"
Isidore said, "We can't win."
"Why not?" [...]
"No one can win against kipple," he said, "except temporarily and maybe in one spot, like in my apartment I've sort of created a stasis between the pressure of kipple and nonkipple, for the time being. But eventually I'll die or go away, and then the kipple will again take over. It's a universal principle operating throughout the universe; the entire universe is moving toward a final state of total, absolute kippleization.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?)
β
Butβlet me tell you my cat joke. It's very short and simple. A hostess is giving a dinner party and she's got a lovely five-pound T-bone steak sitting on the sideboard in the kitchen waiting to be cooked while she chats with the guests in the living roomβhas a few drinks and whatnot. But then she excuses herself to go into the kitchen to cook the steakβand it's gone. And there's the family cat, in the corner, sedately washing it's face."
"The cat got the steak," Barney said.
"Did it? The guests are called in; they argue about it. The steak is gone, all five pounds of it; there sits the cat, looking well-fed and cheerful. "Weigh the cat," someone says. They've had a few drinks; it looks like a good idea. So they go into the bathroom and weigh the cat on the scales. It reads exactly five pounds. They all perceive this reading and a guest says, "okay, that's it. There's the steak." They're satisfied that they know what happened, now; they've got empirical proof. Then a qualm comes to one of them and he says, puzzled, "But where's the cat?
β
β
Philip K. Dick (The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch)
β
Silence. It flashed from the woodwork and the walls; it smote him with an awful, total power, as if generated by a vast mill. It rose from the floor, up out of the tattered gray wall-to-wall carpeting. It unleashed itself from the broken and semi-broken appliances in the kitchen, the dead machines which hadnβt worked in all the time Isidore had lived here. From the useless pole lamp in the living room it oozed out, meshing with the empty and wordless descent of itself from the fly-specked ceiling. It managed in fact to emerge from every object within his range of vision, as if itβthe silenceβmeant to supplant all things tangible. Hence it assailed not only his ears but his eyes; as he stood by the inert TV set he experienced the silence as visible and, in its own way, alive. Alive! He had often felt its austere approach before; when it came it burst in without subtlety, evidently unable to wait. The silence of the world could not rein back its greed. Not any longer. Not when it had virtually won.
β
β
Philip K. Dick (Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?)
β
This has been a novel about some people who were punished entirely too much for what they did. They wanted to have a good time, but they were like children playing in the street; they could see one after another of them being killed--run over, maimed, destroyed--but they continued to play anyhow. We really all were very happy for a while, sitting around not toiling but just bullshitting and playing, but it was for such a terrible brief time, and then the punishment was beyond belief: even when we could see it, we could not believe it. For example, while I was writing this I learned that the person on whom the character Jerry Fabin is based killed himself. My friend on whom I based the character Ernie Luckman died before I began the novel. For a while I myself was one of these children playing in the street; I was, like the rest of them, trying to play instead of being grown up, and I was punished. I am on the list below, which is a list of those to whom this novel is dedicated, and what became of each.
Drug misuse is not a disease, it is a decision, like the decision to step out in front of a moving car. You would call that not a disease but an error in judgment. When a bunch of people begin to do it, it is a social error,a life-style. In this particular life-style the motto is "Be happy now because tomorrow you are dying," but the dying begins almost at once, and the happiness is a memory. It is, then, only a speeding up, an intensifying, of the ordinary human existence. It is not different from your life-style, it is only faster. It all takes place in days or weeks or months instead of years. "Take the cash and let the credit go," as Villon said in 1460. But that is a mistake if the cash is a penny and the credit a whole lifetime.
There is no moral in this novel; it is not bourgeois; it does not say they were wrong to play when they should have toiled;it just tells what the consequences were. In Greek drama they were beginning, as a society, to discover science, which means causal law. Here in this novel there is Nemesis: not fate, because any one of us could have chosen to stop playing in the street, but, as I narrate from the deepest part of my life and heart, a dreadful Nemesis for those who kept on playing. I myself,I am not a character in this novel; I am the novel. So, though, was our entire nation at this time. This novel is about more people than I knew personally. Some we all read about in the newspapers. It was, this sitting around with our buddies and bullshitting while making tape recordings, the bad decision of the decade, the sixties, both in and out of the establishment. And nature cracked down on us. We were forced to stop by things dreadful.
If there was any "sin," it was that these people wanted to keep on having a good time forever, and were punished for that, but, as I say, I feel that, if so, the punishment was far too great, and I prefer to think of it only in a Greek or morally neutral way, as mere science, as deterministic impartial cause-and-effect. I loved them all. Here is the list, to whom I dedicate my love:
To Gaylene deceased
To Ray deceased
To Francy permanent psychosis
To Kathy permanent brain damage
To Jim deceased
To Val massive permanent brain damage
To Nancy permanent psychosis
To Joanne permanent brain damage
To Maren deceased
To Nick deceased
To Terry deceased
To Dennis deceased
To Phil permanent pancreatic damage
To Sue permanent vascular damage
To Jerri permanent psychosis and vascular damage
. . . and so forth.
In Memoriam.
These were comrades whom I had; there are no better. They remain in my mind, and the enemy will never be forgiven. The "enemy" was their mistake in playing. Let them all play again, in some other way, and let them be happy.
β
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Philip K. Dick (A Scanner Darkly)