Permission Forgiveness Quotes

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I always say, better ask forgiveness than permission.
Christopher Paolini
It's better to ask forgiveness than permission. - Brom
Christopher Paolini (Eragon (Inheritance, #1))
My hands shot up over my head, grabbing his ears. I yanked, bending forward. North sailed over me. I gasped, stunned by what I just did. "Holy shit," Nathan uttered. "Kota," Gabriel whined. "Mommy and daddy are fighting again.
C.L. Stone (Forgiveness and Permission (The Ghost Bird, #4))
It is better to beg forgiveness, than ask permission.
Grace Murray Hopper
A strong gives forgiveness but weak gives permission.
Santosh Kalwar (Quote Me Everyday)
It's easier to ask forgiveness than to beg for permission.
Lora Leigh (Lion's Heat (Breeds, #15; Feline Breeds, #13))
Change isn't made by asking permission. Change is made by asking forgiveness, later.
Seth Godin (Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us)
I may dump the whole class. Except you and Victor. " His light eyes caught mine. "Maybe even Victor.
C.L. Stone (Forgiveness and Permission (The Ghost Bird, #4))
If there was one truth Evie had learned in her short life, it was that forgiveness was easier to seek than permission. She didn’t plan to ask for either one.
Libba Bray (The Diviners (The Diviners, #1))
You don't give warnings. If someone's close enough that you can't run, and they won't let you get away, you're done. Kick, swing, whatever you have to do." "It sounds mean." "Ugh," Nathan groaned behind us. (...) "Peanut, will you just listen? If someone isn't letting you run away, he's not a nice person. Beat the shit out of him.
C.L. Stone (Forgiveness and Permission (The Ghost Bird, #4))
Ulla could forgive betrayal, another abandonment, even her own death. But not this moment, when after all her sacrifice, she begged for mercy and Signy sought a prince's permission to grant it.
Leigh Bardugo (The Language of Thorns: Midnight Tales and Dangerous Magic (Grishaverse, #0.5, 2.5, 2.6))
Forgiveness is usually easier than permission.
Amy Harmon (The Law of Moses (The Law of Moses, #1))
Nathan made an evil-sounding cackle. “Brave words from a dead girl who forgot to load her gun.
C.L. Stone (Forgiveness and Permission (The Ghost Bird, #4))
He sighed against my hair. "Be good. Listen to the boys. Try not to get them into any trouble." I scoffed. "I don't do that.
C.L. Stone (Forgiveness and Permission (The Ghost Bird, #4))
We have a saying, where I come from: Power requires neither permission nor forgiveness.
Ann Leckie (Ancillary Justice (Imperial Radch, #1))
I know what the world has done to my brother and how narrowly he has survived it. And I know, which is much worse, and this is the crime of which I accuse my country and my countrymen, and for which neither I nor time nor history will ever forgive them, that they have destroyed and are destroying hundreds of thousands of lives and do not know it and do not want to know it. One can be, indeed one must strive to become, tough and philosophical concerning destruction and death, for this is what most of mankind has been best at since we have heard of man. (But remember: most of mankind is not all of mankind.) But it is not permissible that the authors of devastation should also be innocent. It is the innocence which constitutes the crime.
James Baldwin (The Fire Next Time)
Kinda wished I had met you sooner,” he said quietly.
C.L. Stone (Forgiveness and Permission (The Ghost Bird, #4))
Remember – it’s always easier to get forgiveness than permission
Banksy
Until every soul is freely permitted to investigate every book, and creed, and dogma for itself, the world cannot be free. Mankind will be enslaved until there is mental grandeur enough to allow each man to have his thought and say. This earth will be a paradise when men can, upon all these questions differ, and yet grasp each other's hands as friends. It is amazing to me that a difference of opinion upon subjects that we know nothing with certainty about, should make us hate, persecute, and despise each other. Why a difference of opinion upon predestination, or the trinity, should make people imprison and burn each other seems beyond the comprehension of man; and yet in all countries where Christians have existed, they have destroyed each other to the exact extent of their power. Why should a believer in God hate an atheist? Surely the atheist has not injured God, and surely he is human, capable of joy and pain, and entitled to all the rights of man. Would it not be far better to treat this atheist, at least, as well as he treats us? Christians tell me that they love their enemies, and yet all I ask is—not that they love their enemies, not that they love their friends even, but that they treat those who differ from them, with simple fairness. We do not wish to be forgiven, but we wish Christians to so act that we will not have to forgive them. If all will admit that all have an equal right to think, then the question is forever solved; but as long as organized and powerful churches, pretending to hold the keys of heaven and hell, denounce every person as an outcast and criminal who thinks for himself and denies their authority, the world will be filled with hatred and suffering. To hate man and worship God seems to be the sum of all the creeds.
Robert G. Ingersoll (Some Mistakes of Moses)
It was easier to ask for forgiveness than permission?
Kate Brian (Ex-mas)
Blood can make a bond stronger, but it doesn’t make the bond.
C.L. Stone (Forgiveness and Permission (The Ghost Bird, #4))
It is better to ask for forgiveness then permission.
Tucker Max
Kota chuckled. “Regret that we ran into each other yet?
C.L. Stone (Forgiveness and Permission (The Ghost Bird, #4))
A kiss. From Kota. And I wanted it.
C.L. Stone (Forgiveness and Permission (The Ghost Bird, #4))
Remember that it’s often easier to get forgiveness rather than permission!
Ashwin Sanghi (Chanakya's Chant)
Between asking permission and begging forgiveness, I lean toward the latter.
Becca Fitzpatrick (Silence (Hush, Hush, #3))
Ask for Forgiveness, Not Permission
John Marsden (Darkness, Be My Friend (Tomorrow, #4))
better to ask for forgiveness than permission.
Mary Higgins Clark (The Cinderella Murder)
It is a strange thing, to desire your best friend; two pairs of hands wandering past boundaries, asking forgiveness rather than permission; "Is this OK?" coming a fraction after the motion.
Caleb Azumah Nelson (Open Water)
Once you decide to forgive, you initiate the healing process. Forgiveness gives your soul permission to move on to the higher and healthier ground of emotional recovery. Forgiveness is to your soul what antibiotics are to infection. It is the curative agent that will help to fully restore your soul. It doesn't immediately remove the pain of defense but it does start you on the road to recovery.
Will Davis Jr. (10 Things Jesus Never Said: And Why You Should Stop Believing Them)
I’ve found it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
Alessandra Torre (Blindfolded Innocence (Innocence, #1))
Loving someone gives them permission to do things to you because they know you'll forgive them. -Shaye
Gena Showalter (The Nymph King (Atlantis, #3))
He collected my hand to pull my finger out of his mouth. “Peanuts.” I laughed, breaking the shock I’d felt. “Bad?” “No,” he said, and he popped my finger into his mouth again. “I like it. Peanut tastes like peanuts.” “So I have to call you Honey, now?” “Yup,” he said, chewing.
C.L. Stone (Forgiveness and Permission (The Ghost Bird, #4))
He closes his eyes, blows out a breath. He opens his eyes again and holds me transfixed. Then murmurs, “I love you.” I smile, because I know what he means. I know that he loves me, not because I forgive him but because I gave him permission to forgive himself. I whisper back, “I know,” and his eyes crinkle slightly at the corners at our inside joke. Then he closes his eyes…and lets me go.
Tracy Wolff (Covet (Crave, #3))
Change isn’t made by asking permission. Change is made by asking forgiveness, later.
Seth Godin (Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us)
Nathan laughed, aiming the gun back at my face. “Come on, say mercy and I’ll let you up.
C.L. Stone (Forgiveness and Permission (The Ghost Bird, #4))
It was easier to ask forgiveness, than permission.
Robert Jordan (New Spring (The Wheel of Time, #0))
After all, her motto is "Better to ask for forgiveness than permission.
Anna Banks
But it’s a lot easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
Colleen Hoover (All Your Perfects)
Only the broken heart has the ghost of a chance to grieve, to forgive, to long, to transform." Christina Baldwin, author of Life's Companion, Journal Writing as a Spiritual Practice, 1990. Used with author's permission
Judith-Victoria Douglas (Ariel's Cottage)
[I]t is easier to ask forgiveness than to obtain permission.
Mary Doria Russell (Doc)
She’s fulfilled her obligation, assuaged her conscience by finding me in the hallway and giving me the chance to freak out, and I’ve played my role too, by remaining calm, pretending to be okay, and therefore giving her permission to cross me off her things-to-do list. Now she can move on, and I can too. Once you understand how adults are controlled by the system, manipulating them is elementary.
Matthew Quick (Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock)
Remember that it’s often easier to get forgiveness rather than permission!’ said Chanakya, a wide grin on his ugly face.
Ashwin Sanghi (Chanakya's Chant)
You’re the strongest little beautiful creature I’ve ever met.
C.L. Stone (Forgiveness and Permission (The Ghost Bird, #4))
It was easier to ask for forgiveness than it was to get permission.
Cheryl Rainfield (Scars)
It’s a lot easier to ask a woman’s forgiveness than her permission.
Dennis Lehane (World Gone By (Coughlin #3))
Her mom always encouraged her to ask for things. Tell the truth. Ask permission. Unless you have to do something you know is right and can’t wait for permission. Then ask for forgiveness. But always be true to yourself and be honest with your feelings. No point beating around the bush when life is short.
Aja James (Dark Desires (Pure/ Dark Ones #3))
Today Means Amen Dear you, whoever you are, however you got here, this is exactly where you are supposed to be. This moment has waited its whole life for you. This moment is your lover and you are a soldier. Come home, baby, it's over. You don't need to suffer anymore. Dear you, this moment is your surprise party. You are both hiding in the dark and walking through the door. This moment is a hallelujah. This moment is your permission slip to finally open that love letter you've been hiding from yourself, the one you wrote when you were little when you still danced like a sparkler at dusk. Do you remember the moment you realized they were watching? When you became ashamed of how much light you were holding? When you first learned how to unlove yourself? Dear you, the word today means amen in every language. Today, we made it. Today, I'm going to love you. Today, I'm going to love myself. Today, the boxcutter will rust in the garbage. The noose will forget how to hold you, today, today-- Dear you, and I have always meant you, nothing would be the same if you did not exist. You, whose voice is someone's favorite voice, someone's favorite face to wake up to. Nothing would be the same if you did not exist. You, the teacher, the starter's gun, the lantern in the night who offers not a way home, but the courage to travel farther into the dark. You, the lover, who worships the taste of her body, who is the largest tree ring in his heart, who does not let fear ration your love. You, the friend, the sacred chorus of how can I help. You, who have felt more numb than holy, more cracked than mosaic. Who have known the tiles of a bathroom by heart, who have forgotten what makes you worth it. You, the forgiven, the forgiver, who belongs right here in this moment. You, this clump of cells, this happy explosion that happened to start breathing, and by the grace of whatever is up there, you got here. You made it this whole way: through the nights that swallowed you whole, the mornings that arrived in pieces. The scabs, the gravel, the doubt, the hurt, the hurt, the hurt is over. Today, you made it. You made it. You made it here.
Sierra DeMulder (Today Means Amen)
Didn't anyone ever teach you that it's easier to ask forgiveness than permission?
Emily Horner (A Love Story Starring My Dead Best Friend)
Nathan was shirtless. His muscular, tanned body left me breathless. He wore red sport shorts, and was barefoot. His reddish brown hair was wet, sticking up.
C.L. Stone (Forgiveness and Permission (The Ghost Bird, #4))
Ask forgiveness, not permission.
Kallypso Masters (Nobody's Dream (Rescue Me Saga #6))
It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than it is to get permission.
Rebecca Stead (Goodbye Stranger)
Better to ask forgiveness than permission and to answer their shenanigans with even better shenanigans.
Kevin Hearne (Trapped (The Iron Druid Chronicles, #5))
A policy of moving out and doing it, and asking forgiveness afterward, is much better than a policy of asking permission and having it denied.
Richard Preston (The Hot Zone)
it’s better to ask for forgiveness than permission.
Chris Kyle (American Sniper: The Autobiography of the Most Lethal Sniper in U.S. Military History)
We are worth fighting for,” we both whispered. Giving one another permission, into each other madness.
Efrat Cybulkiewicz
it. One thing that being in the military had taught me, is that it is better to act and ask forgiveness, than to hesitate and ask permission.    
Craig Alanson (Paradise (Expeditionary Force, #3))
Something seems to happen to people when they meet a journalist, and what happens is exactly the opposite of what one would expect. One would think that extreme wariness and caution would be the order of the day, but in fact childish trust and impetuosity are far more common. The journalistic encounter seems to have the same regressive effect on a subject as the psychoanalytic encounter. The subject becomes a kind of child of the writer, regarding him as a permissive, all-accepting, all-forgiving mother, and expecting that the book will be written by her. Of course, the book is written by the strict, all-noticing, unforgiving father.
Janet Malcolm (The Journalist and the Murderer)
Family is a choice. We help those who want our help. Don’t make yourself responsible for someone who won’t do the same for you. Blood can make a bond stronger, but it doesn’t make the bond.
C.L. Stone (Forgiveness and Permission (The Ghost Bird, #4))
You have to understand your errors and give yourself permission to be forgiven. Now that may sound self-righteous, but I don’t think another person can say to you, “You can forgive yourself now.
Eric Pepin (Silent Awakening: True Telepathy, Effective Energy Healing and the Journey to Infinite Awareness)
The first time he had hit her, he had been so wracked with remorse, she had actually felt sorry for him. Consumed by guilt and self-loathing, he had sobbed in her arms like a child, swearing it would never happen again and begging for her forgiveness. Her stomach turned over now at the thought of how she had comforted him, assuring him that she trusted him and promising that she would never leave. She saw now with sickening clarity that she had been setting a precedent - giving him permission to do it again; reassuring him that she would tolerate anything. If only she had walked out there and then.
Cleary James (The Endgame)
He nodded, picking my hand up in his, bringing it to his mouth. His eyes locked on mine in the dark, and he put his lips to the back of my hand. He kissed the spot just behind my knuckles. He smoothed his thumb over the spot. He singled out a finger and pulled it in his mouth again and chewed. The rattling of my spine, shaking of my fingers and crazy spinning of my heart returned. Nathan kissed my hand. That meant something. Tingling radiated the area he kissed. A surge of worry swept over me as I realized I may have made a terrible mistake. Victor might be okay with us sleeping in the same bed, but what would he think if Nathan started kissing me? And why did I have the crazy urge to let him if he tried?
C.L. Stone (Forgiveness and Permission (The Ghost Bird, #4))
Hendricks is mean. My sister’s been skipping school since last week. Now I have to try to convince her she should go to school.” Luke’s dark brown eyes softened. The blond locks were pulled back with a clip he’d stolen from me. “I know how you feel. I’ve got a chemistry test tomorrow.” Stone, C. L. (2013-10-27). Forgiveness and Permission: The Ghost Bird Series: #4 (p. 95). Arcato Publishing. Kindle Edition.
C.L. Stone (Forgiveness and Permission (The Ghost Bird, #4))
It’s not my responsibility to get to the bottom of why my mom’s so unhappy. Nor is it on me to teach my dad how to parent. I love them and I forgive them, but I don’t go to the hardware store looking for orange juice and I don’t expect them to give me things they don’t have. I give myself permission not to spend time with them.
Mary H.K. Choi (Permanent Record)
Why can’t you sleep?” “I can’t stop watching you.” I blinked against his chest, squeezing my arms around his neck. “You watch me?” “When you sleep,” he said. He flattened his cheek against my forehead. “I watch you breathing. Unless you’re next to me where I can feel you, I end up awake all night watching, just to make sure. ” No
C.L. Stone (Forgiveness and Permission (The Ghost Bird, #4))
Again, we all have negative feelings, but not all negativity produces disease. To create disease, negative emotions have to be dominant, and what accelerates the process is knowing the negative thought to be toxic but giving it permission to thrive in your consciousness anyway. For instance, you may know you need to forgive someone, yet you decide that remaining angry gives you more power. Remaining obsessively angry makes you more likely to develop a disease because the energy consequence of a negative obsession is powerlessness. Energy is power, and transmitting energy into the past by dwelling on painful events drains power from your present-day body and can lead to illness.
Caroline Myss (Anatomy Of The Spirit: The Seven Stages of Power and Healing)
You enter the Forgiveness room for your own sake, not for anyone else. No one else is allowed in this room but you. Do not seek a cure from the person who caused you pain. Do not wait for their apology to give yourself permission to feel the pain.
Najwa Zebian (Welcome Home: A Guide to Building a Home for Your Soul)
Like a good southern boy should, I'll start with my mom. She's a true baller, living proof that the value of denial depends on one's level of commitment to it. She beat two types of cancer on nothing more than aspirin and denial. She's a woman that says I'm going to before she can, I would before she could, and I'll be there before she's invited. Fiercely loyal to convenience and controversy, she's always had an adversarial relationship with context and consideration because they ask permission. She might not be the smartest person in the room but she ain't crying. She's 88 now, and seldom do I go to bed after her or wake up before her. Her curfew when she was growing up was when she danced holes big enough in the feet of her pantyhose that came up around her ankles. Nobody forgives himself quicker than she does and therefore, she carries zero stress. I once asked her if she ever went to bed with any regrets. She quickly told me, ‘Oh every night son, I just forget him by the time I wake up.’ She always told us, ‘Don't you walk into a place like you want to buy it, walk in like you own it.’ Obviously, her favorite word in the English language is ‘Yes.
Matthew McConaughey (Greenlights)
Think of some things you've wanted to do for ages and have never given yourself time or permission to do them. The Voice knows what they are and has probably suggested them many times. You've always said inside, 'Oh, I couldn't. Costs too much. I've got too much work. I'm too tired. I can't be away from x that long. Should clean out the garage instead.' It's time to stop cleaning and start living.
Noelle Sterne (Trust Your Life: Forgive Yourself and Go After Your Dreams)
He doesn’t like Emma and Rachel making plans together. Not because he thinks they’re being devious, but because he doesn’t like feeling left out. Not to mention that when Emma is making plans without him, they’re usually reckless. The only reason she’d keep a secret from him is if she was doing something he didn’t approve of, or didn’t want him to interfere with. After all, her motto is “Better to ask for forgiveness than permission.” Galen despises that motto. “I cleared out the sporting goods store this morning,” Rachel says. “I took what was on the shelf and made them cough up their stock in the back.” Galen tenses up. Emma laughs. “Don’t be jealous, Highness. Rachel still loves you more than she loves me.” “Aww! You guys are fighting over me?” Rachel says, pinching Galen’s cheek. “That’s so adorable.” “I’m not jealous,” he says, trying not to sound pouty. “I just don’t know why we would need life jackets.” “We don’t,” Emma says, wriggling around on his lap so she can face him. Secretly, he’s delighted. “But humans do. And if my job is keeping the humans safe, then I should be prepared, right?” But Galen is too distracted by the close proximity of her mouth to be bothered with the words coming out of it. She must recognize it, because she leans forward as if giving him a chance to make good on his craving. It’s all the invitation he needs. He captures her mouth with his. Life jackets, islands, and airports are forgotten. The only thing that exists is her lips on his, her body pressed into his. Suddenly the creaky office chair is transformed into their own little world. “Uh, I’m just going to get more wine,” Rachel says. He didn’t mean to make her uncomfortable enough to leave. Not good. The last thing we need is privacy and free rein to do as we please. He tries to end it, to pull away, but Emma won’t have it. And it’s difficult for him not to indulge her.
Anna Banks (Of Triton (The Syrena Legacy, #2))
I was realizing that forgiveness was a decision I would have to revisit over and over. It was turning out to be a process, not a single act. Forgiveness neither erased nor diminished the magnitude of Jason's violence and its continuing ripple-effect. It didn't take away the anger, frustration or loss I felt about what he'd done, and it couldn't bring back the life I'd had with him. What forgiveness did do was remind me that there was a human being behind the violence, and that his heinous acts did not represent the sum of who he was. Forgiveness gave me the permission to see and know both aspects of Jason, to be enormously angry and pained by his violent acts, but also to let go of that anguish before it took complete control over my mind and heart. Forgiveness stopped rage from becoming resentment, and it released me from having every aspect of my character and the life I still had ahead from being bound to Jason's violence. Forgiveness put my life back into my own hands.
Shannon Moroney (Through the Glass)
There’s a destructive power in unforgiveness and unforgiveness controls you in a negative way. It’s time to let it all go! You become strong when you genuinely forgive. You become empowered when you genuinely forgive. You gain back your inner peace when you genuinely forgive. You release stress, bitterness and anger when you genuinely forgive. But most importantly, you’re able to live your best life when you genuinely forgive. Give yourself permission to live life free of toxic thoughts, feelings, and energy. Forgive!
Stephanie Lahart
Pride keeps you from dealing with truth. It distorts your vision. You never change when you think everything is fine. Pride hardens your heart and dims the eyes of your understanding. It keeps you from the change of heart—repentance—that will set you free. (See 2 Timothy 2:24–26.) Pride causes you to view yourself as a victim. Your attitude becomes, “I was mistreated and misjudged; therefore, I am justified in my behavior.” Because you believe you are innocent and falsely accused, you hold back forgiveness. Though your true heart condition is hidden from you, it is not hidden from God. Just because you were mistreated, you do not have permission to hold on to an offense. Two wrongs do not make a right!
John Bevere (The Bait of Satan: Living Free from the Deadly Trap of Offense)
it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.
Alessandra Torre (Blindfolded Innocence (Innocence, #1))
Easier by far, thought Ambassador Spock, to get forgiveness than permission. Humans might have invented that saying, but its applications were universal. The
Josepha Sherman (Exodus (Star Trek: Vulcan's Soul, #1))
Wisdom [10w] The wisest of men ask for neither permission nor forgiveness.
Beryl Dov
Only remember, if you don't find what you need... in this life it's permissible to forgive oneself too.
Nathan Englander
To be passive is to let others decide for you. To be aggressive is to decide for others. To be assertive is to decide for yourself. In myths, nothing good comes from gloating. You have to let the gods maintain the image of their singular power. I did not yet know that nightmares know no geography, that guilt and anxiety wander borderless. It is a reflex to expect the bad with the good. I don't know what fears kept hidden only grow more fierce. I don't know that my habits of pretending are only making us worse. Maybe moving forward also meant circling back. There are always two worlds. The one that I choose and the one that I deny, which inserts itself without my permission. To change our behavior, we must change our feelings and to change our feelings, we must change our thoughts. Freedom is bout choice - about choosing compassion, humor, optimism, intuition, curiosity and self-expression. To be free is to live in the present. When you have something to prove, you are not free. When we grieve, it's not just over what happened - we grieve for what didn't happen. You can't heal what you can't feel. It's easier to hold someone or something else responsible for your pain than to take responsibility for ending your own victimhood. Our painful experiences aren't a liability, they are a gift. They give us perspective and meaning, an opportunity to find our unique purpose and our strength. One of the proving grounds for our freedom is in how we relate to our loved ones. There is no forgiveness without rage. But to ask "why" is to stay in the past, to keep company with our guilt and regret. We can't control other people and we can't control the past. You can't change what happened, you can't change what you did or what was done to you. But you can choose how you live now.
Edith Eva Eger (The Choice: Embrace the Possible)
The world can be an unforgiving place; this is why you must learn to forgive yourself. This is why you must learn to give yourself permission to want what you want and to go after it with everything you have. This is why you must learn to give yourself the love you crave, the kindness you yearn for, and the compassion you need. This is why you must fill the lacks you discover with something other than criticism, hate, or anger. This is why you must forgive yourself—because that’s how you become whole again.
Emily Maroutian (The Book of Relief: Passages and Exercises to Relieve Negative Emotion and Create More Ease in The Body)
As you breathe in, feel your left hand on your heart rise up with your expanded chest. Silently repeat, I forgive myself. As you exhale, feel the breath under your right hand move through your throat, and silently repeat, I give myself permission to begin again.
Davidji (Sacred Powers: The Five Secrets to Awakening Transformation)
Self-love is about slipping up, having the bad days and loving ourselves despite of them, forgiving ourselves and, most importantly, having compassion for ourselves and how we’re feeling. So, give yourself permission to fall down, but don’t give yourself permission to stay there.
Saskia Lightstar (The Cancer Misfit: A Guide to Navigating Life After Treatment)
She glared at him as if she could bore through his middle with the blue fire in her eyes, ‘you kissed me, you impolite blackguard! Without my permission, I might add.” “Ah, for that I would ask your forgiveness, Miss Goode…” His mouth softened and curled up at the memory. “If you had no kissed me back.
Kerrigan Byrne (Dancing With Danger (Goode Girls, #3))
Follow your doctor’s orders. For me that means antidepressants and behavioral therapy. Exercise thirty minutes a day, six days a week. Get sunlight, or if you can’t, use light therapy. Do not overuse your light therapy lamp even though you want to. Treat yourself like you would your favorite pet. Plenty of fresh water, lots of rest, snuggles as needed, allow yourself naps. Avoid negativity. That means the news, people, movies. It will all be there when you’re healthy again. The world will get on without your seeing it. Forgive yourself. For being broken. For being you. For thinking those are things that you need forgiveness for. Those terrible things you tell yourself? Can you imagine if the person you love most were telling themselves those things? You’d think they were crazy. And wrong. They think the same about you. Those negative things you are thinking are not rational. Remember that depression lies and that your brain is not always trustworthy. Give yourself permission to recover. I’m lucky that I can work odd hours and take mental health days but I still feel shitty for taking them. Realize that sometimes these slow days are necessary and healthy and utterly responsible. Watch Doctor Who. Love on an animal. Go adopt a rescue, or if you can’t, go to the shelter and just snuggle a kitten. Then realize that that same little kitten that you’re cradling isn’t going to accomplish shit but is still wonderful and lovely and so important. You are that kitten. Get up. Go brush your teeth. Go take a hot shower. If you do nothing else today just change into a new pair of pajamas. It helps. Remember that you are not alone. There are crisis lines filled with people who want to help. There are people who love you more than you know. There are people who can’t wait to meet you because you will teach them how unalone they are. You are so worthy of happiness and it will come.
Jenny Lawson (Broken (in the best possible way))
Never, ever apologize if you haven't done anything wrong. Keep your sorrys and your excuse mes and your please forgive mes, above all keep your please, please forgive mes for the one moment in life when you'll really need them, need those words. And you will be in dire need of entreaties like these, oh you will be praying for those words, blessing yourself for not having wasted them on something spurious and unworthy. You will someday be kneeling, kneeling down in front of a pair of accusing eyes, threatening feet, feet that might kick you or feet that might do something worse. At times what we should dread most are feet that will run away, that will run away and leave us everlastingly alone. Loneliness is what should terrify you most, more than a slap or a kick or hunger even. And that's when those words, please, please forgive me, will be all that separates you from the pit and swamp of the deepest despair. So don't squander them on matters of no consequence. The world is cursed because people do not apologize for theirs sins or crimes or merely their cowardice, but it's even more cursed because people apologize much too much-- they use their regrets as a way of not really probing what the have done, as permission to persevere in their blindness, absolving themselves without having atoned or understood.
Ariel Dorfman
As you move through today’s practice, give yourself permission to tell the low-down, dirty truth about what you are thinking, feeling, and believing. What part of yourself can you see in your partner/ex-partner? And are you willing to forgive it in you? Love brings up everything unlike itself. This means the deeper you love someone, the more unloving parts of yourself will be revealed.
Iyanla Vanzant (Forgiveness: 21 Days to Forgive Everyone for Everything)
I believe," the pope continued, "that in some cases forgiveness can be dangerous. When we forgive evil in the world, we are giving evil permission to grow and spread. When we respond to an act of war with an act of mercy, we are encouraging or enemies to commit further acts of violence. There comes a time when we must do as Jesus did and forcefully throw over the money tables, shouting: 'This will not stand !' - Pope Innocent XIV (palmarians)
Dan Brown (Origin (Robert Langdon, #5))
A man whose wife has done everything he wishes for twenty years can never understand why she so suddenly changes. The woman who for twenty years has been silent, forgiving, smiling, patient, becomes in his eyes a rebel when in the twenty-first year she loses her patience and argues, accuses, demands explanations.Then she is a mutineer against whom every stratagem is permissible. Twenty years of patience have only given her the right to be patient also in the twenty-first.
Hans Fallada (Wolf Among Wolves)
There’s a destructive power in unforgiveness and unforgiveness controls you in a negative way. It’s time to let it all go! You become strong when you genuinely forgive. You become empowered when you genuinely forgive. You gain back your inner peace when you genuinely forgive. You release stress, bitterness, and anger when you genuinely forgive. But most importantly, you’re able to live your best life when you genuinely forgive. Give yourself permission to live life free of toxic thoughts, feelings, and energy. Forgive!
Stephanie Lahart
When best-selling author and spiritual teacher Iyanla Vanzant joined me on the show, I told her that I keep the lesson in forgiveness she shared with me in a little book of quotes I’ve collected over the years: “You can accept or reject the way you are treated by other people, but until you heal the wounds of your past, you will continue to bleed. You can bandage the bleeding with food, with alcohol, with drugs, with work, with cigarettes, with sex, but eventually it will ooze through and stain your life. You must find the strength to open the wounds, stick your hands inside, pull out the core of the pain that is holding you in your past, the memories, and make peace with them.” This speaks so clearly to me. Pushing against the need to forgive is like spreading poison in your veins. Surrender to the hurt, loss, resentment, and disappointment. Accept the truth. It did happen and now it’s done. Make a decision to meet the pain as it rises within you and allow it to pass right through. Give yourself permission to let go of the past and step out of your history, into the now. Forgive, and set yourself free. —Oprah
Oprah Winfrey (The Wisdom of Sundays: Life-Changing Insights from Super Soul Conversations)
in such moments I have formulated my creed, wherein all is clear and holy to me. This creed is extremely simple; here it is: I believe that there is nothing lovelier, deeper, more sympathetic, more rational, more manly, and more perfect than the Saviour; I say to myself with jealous love that not only is there no one else like Him, but that there could be no one. I would even say more: If anyone could prove to me that Christ is outside the truth, and if the truth really did exclude Christ, I should prefer to stay with Christ and not with truth. I would rather not say anything more about it. And yet I don't know why certain topics may never be touched on in society, and why, if anyone does introduce them, it makes the others uncomfortable. Still, enough of it. I heard that you were desirous of travelling somewhere in the South. God grant that you may succeed in obtaining permission to do so. But will you please tell me when we shall be quite free, or at any rate as free as other people ? Perhaps only when we no longer need freedom ? For my part, I want all or nothing. In my soldier's uniform I am the same prisoner as before. I rejoice greatly that I find there is patience in my soul for quite a long time yet, that I desire no earthly possessions, and need nothing but books, the possibility of writing, and of being daily for a few hours alone. The last troubles me most. For almost five years I have been constantly under surveillance, or with several other people, and not one hour alone with myself. To be alone is a natural need, like eating and drinking ; for in that kind of concentrated communism one becomes a whole-hearted enemy of mankind. The constant companionship of others works like poison or plague; and from that unendurable martyrdom I most suffered in the last four years. There were moments in which I hated every man, whether good or evil, and regarded him as a thief who, unpunished, was robbing me of life. The most unbearable part is when one grows unjust, malignant, and evil, is aware of it, even reproves one's-self, and yet has not the power to control one's-self. I have experienced that. I am convinced that God will keep you from it. I believe that you, as a woman, have more power to forgive and to endure. Do
Fyodor Dostoevsky (Letters of Fyodor Michailovitch Dostoyevsky to his family and friends)
Like a good southern boy should, I'll start with my mom. She's a true baller, living proof that the value of denial depends on one's level of commitment to it. She beat two types of cancer on nothing more than aspirin and denial. She's a woman that says I'm going to before she can, I would before she could, and I'll be there before she's invited. Fiercely loyal to convenience and controversy, she's always had an adversarial relationship with context and consideration because they ask permission. She might not be the smartest person in the room but she ain't crying. She's 88 now, and seldom do I go to bed after her or wake up before her. Her curfew when she was growing up was when she danced holes big enough in the feet of her pantyhose that came up around her ankles. Nobody forgives themselves quicker than she does and therefore, she carries zero stress. I once asked her if she ever went to bed with any regrets. She quickly told me, ‘Oh every night son, I just forget him by the time I wake up.’ She always told us, ‘Don't you walk into a place like you want to buy it, walk in like you own it.’ Obviously, her favorite word in the English language is ‘Yes.
Matthew McConaughey (Greenlights)
I had to surrender; I had to wave the white flag-- not in defeat, but in victory. For the first time in my life, I realized that I couldn't do this on my own. But what was more amazing was the understanding that I didn't have to do it all on my own-- and even that I wasn't supposed to do it all on my own. I finally grasped the truth that I had to surrender my life to the One... the only One who could put the pieces back together, the One who could comfort me, love me, accept me, forgive me, and give me permission to forgive myself. I was not lost, hope was not lost. I was not abandoned-- I was loved.
Sarah Swafford (Emotional Virtue: A Guide to Drama-Free Relationships)
in self-acceptance there is no tally sheet. There are no check marks. There is, instead, an inner transparency. We own how we project on others what we have not yet worked through. We are aware of how we resist knowing the ways we hide so we can be what we call safe. We confess both our beauty and our faults and are open to forgiveness. Worthiness then comes to us as a matter of course. We do not earn it. It is a given we can humbly accept as fundamental and true. Projection It’s hard to respect and love another fully until we respect and love ourselves. This is an obvious truth, but hard to live. As much as we may want to love our heart’s friend with complete freedom and depth, we may not be able to. Aspects of ourselves that we have not yet learned to know and love into healing and maturity get in the way.  It is usually in the deep loves of our lives that pockets of unworthiness surface. The very safety of love seems to give permission for that which is unloved to emerge. When we are safe, open and vulnerable, we are also easily re-injured.  As loving friends we try to see each other as well as we can, but we are destined to be faulty witnesses from time to time. The parts we enjoy, admire and are happy about are what attract us to each other. We sense an affinity with what we see either because we have it as a capacity as well, or we have it as a potential to be developed.
Gunilla Norris (Sheltered in the Heart)
I know what the world has done to my brother and how narrowly he has survived it. And I know, which is much worse, and this is the crime of which I accuse my country and my countrymen, and for which neither I nor time nor history will ever forgive them, that they have destroyed and are destroying hundreds of thousands of lives and do not know it and do not want to know it. One can be, indeed one must strive to become, tough and philosophical concerning destruction and death, for this is what most of mankind has been best at since we have heard of man. (But remember: most of mankind is not all of mankind.) But it is not permissible that the authors of devastation should also be innocent. It is the innocence which constitutes the crime.
James Baldwin (The Fire Next Time)
Scripts for Young Children “Ask permission.” “Show respect.” “Be gentle and kind.” “Use your words.” “Listen and obey.” “Compromise.” “Let’s have a redo.” “Match my voice.” (This models volume control.) “Make it right.” (A prompt for forgiveness and restitution.) “Stick together.” (Group Theraplay recommends this to encourage listening and proximity.) “No hurts.” (Theraplay for Groups uses this for bodies and for feelings.) Scripts for Older Children and Teens “Be cool.” (This replaces “No hurts” or “Gentle and kind.”) “Check with me.” (This replaces “Ask permission.”) “Work it out” or “Let’s make a deal.” (This replaces “Compromise.”) “Hold up!” (This replaces “Try it again.”) “Think it through.” “Take a breath.” “Calm it down.” “Got it?
Karyn Purvis (The Connected Parent: Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment)
It is almost inconceivable that so many filmmakers could think of nothing -- be inspired by nothing -- nothing, nothing, nothing -- but the politics of representation, 'performitivity', gender, race, queer theory etc. There must be other subjects, in the world outside or in their inner lives, which belong on the silver (or digital) screen. This degree of conformity is unsettling. It should alarm cultural elites rather than comfort them. Yet the art world's ideological atmosphere is so thick and pervasive that those inside of it don't even realise it as the air they breathe." "Forgive me, I forgot to mention the other permissible topic: 'consumptive capitalism', that oppressive economic system which creates vast sums of taxable wealth, which in turn allows the UK government to fund even this nonsense.
Sohrab Ahmari (The New Philistines (Provocations))
Providence then - and this is what is most important to grasp - is not the same thing as a universal teleology. To believe in divine and unfailing providence is not to burden one's conscience with the need to see every event in this world not only as an occasion for God's grace, but as a positive determination of God's will whereby he brings to pass a comprehensive design that, in the absence of any single one of these events, would not have been possible. It may seem that this is to draw only the finest of logical distinction, one so fine indeed as to amount to little more than a sophistry. Some theologians - Calvin, for instance - have denied that the distinction between what God wills and what he permits has any meaning at all. And certainly there is no unanimity in the history of Christian exegesis on this matter. Certain classic Western interpretations of Paul's treatment of the hardening of Pharaoh's heart and of the hardened heart of Israel in Romans 9 have taken it as a clear statement of God's immediate determination of his creatures' wills. But in the Eastern Christian tradition, and in the thought of many of the greatest Western theologians, the same argument has often been understood to assert no more than that God in either case allowed a prior corruption of the will to run its course, or even - like a mire in the light of the sun - to harden the outpouring of God's fiery mercy, and always for the sake of a greater good that will perhaps redound even to the benefit of the sinner. One might read Christ's answer to his disciples' question regarding why a man had been born blind - 'that the works of God should be made manifest in him' (John 9:3) - either as a refutation or as a confirmation of the distinction between divine will and permission. When all is said and done, however, not only is the distinction neither illogical nor slight; it is an absolute necessity if - setting aside, as we should, all other judgments as superstitious, stochastic, and secondary - we are to be guided by the full character of what is revealed of God in Christ. For, after all, if it is from Christ that we are to learn how God relates himself to sin, suffering, evil, and death, it would seem that he provides us little evidence of anything other than a regal, relentless, and miraculous enmity: sin he forgives, suffering he heals, evil he casts out, and death he conquers. And absolutely nowhere does Christ act as if any of these things are part of the eternal work or purposes of God.
David Bentley Hart (The Doors of the Sea: Where Was God in the Tsunami?)
You seem surprised to find us here,’ the man said. ‘I am,’ I said. ‘I wasn’t expecting to find anyone.’ ‘We are everywhere,’ the man said. ‘We are all over the country.’ ‘Forgive me,’ I said, ‘but I don’t understand. Who do you mean by we?’ ‘Jewish refugees.’ [...] ‘Is this your land?’ I asked him. ‘Not yet,’ he said. ‘You mean you are hoping to buy it?’ He looked at me in silence for a while. Then he said, ‘The land is at present owned by a Palestinian farmer but he has given us permission to live here. He has also allowed us some fields so that we can grow our own food.’ ‘So where do you go from here?’ I asked him. ‘You and all your orphans?’ ‘We don’t go anywhere,’ he said, smiling through his black beard. ‘We stay here.’ ‘Then you will all become Palestinians,’ I said. ‘Or perhaps you are that already.’ He smiled again, presumably at the naïvety of my questions. ‘No,’ the man said, ‘I do not think we will become Palestinians.’ ‘Then what will you do?’ ‘You are a young man who is flying aeroplanes,’ he said, ‘and I do not expect you to understand our problems.’ ‘What problems?’ I asked him. The young woman put two mugs of coffee on the table as well as a tin of condensed milk that had two holes punctured in the top. The man dripped some milk from the tin into my mug and stirred it for me with the only spoon. He did the same for his own coffee and then took a sip. ‘You have a country to live in and it is called England,’ he said. ‘Therefore you have no problems.’ ‘No problems!’ I cried. ‘England is fighting for her life all by herself against virtually the whole of Europe! We’re even fighting the Vichy French and that’s why we’re in Palestine right now! Oh, we’ve got problems all right!’ I was getting rather worked up. I resented the fact that this man sitting in his fig grove said that I had no problems when I was getting shot at every day. ‘I’ve got problems myself’, I said, ‘in just trying to stay alive.’ ‘That is a very small problem,’ the man said. ‘Ours is much bigger.’ I was flabbergasted by what he was saying. He didn’t seem to care one bit about the war we were fighting. He appeared to be totally absorbed in something he called ‘his problem’ and I couldn’t for the life of me make it out. ‘Don’t you care whether we beat Hitler or not?’ I asked him. ‘Of course I care. It is essential that Hitler be defeated. But that is only a matter of months and years. Historically, it will be a very short battle. Also it happens to be England’s battle. It is not mine. My battle is one that has been going on since the time of Christ.’ ‘I am not with you at all,’ I said. I was beginning to wonder whether he was some sort of a nut. He seemed to have a war of his own going on which was quite different to ours. I still have a very clear picture of the inside of that hut and of the bearded man with the bright fiery eyes who kept talking to me in riddles. ‘We need a homeland,’ the man was saying. ‘We need a country of our own. Even the Zulus have Zululand. But we have nothing.’ ‘You mean the Jews have no country?’ ‘That’s exactly what I mean,’ he said. ‘It’s time we had one.’ ‘But how in the world are you going to get yourselves a country?’ I asked him. ‘They are all occupied. Norway belongs to the Norwegians and Nicaragua belongs to the Nicaraguans. It’s the same all over.’ ‘We shall see,’ the man said, sipping his coffee. The dark-haired woman was washing up some plates in a basin of water on another small table and she had her back to us. ‘You could have Germany,’ I said brightly. ‘When we have beaten Hitler then perhaps England would give you Germany.’ ‘We don’t want Germany,’ the man said. ‘Then which country did you have in mind?’ I asked him, displaying more ignorance than ever. ‘If you want something badly enough,’ he said, ‘and if you need something badly enough, you can always get it.’ [...]‘You have a lot to learn,’ he said. ‘But you are a good boy. You are fighting for freedom. So am I.
Roald Dahl (Going Solo (Roald Dahl's Autobiography, #2))
What gets in the way of living with vitality," Tejpal asked. Everything, I thought to myself. "Wounds," Tejpal said. She talked about the importance of forgiveness, and how the most important step in forgiveness is to allow yourself to feel the pain of the hurt you received. Only then would the pain begin to heal. Suddenly, Dracula leaned forward and spoke up. Even though this wasn't really a situation where you were supposed to speak without being called on. "That's not true," she blurted out angrily, her Long Island accent pulling all her vowels downward. "There are some things people do that hurt you forever and that cause scars that will never heal. Just 'cause you think about them doesn't mean they're going away." All the women in the room turned around to stare at this angry person. This was supposed to be a touchy-feely, self-discovery happy place where Tejpal was in charge. You are not supposed to attack Tejpal. I sensed that people thought she was crazy and normally I would find her as annoying for not getting it as everyone else was, but instead I felt a wave of deep compassion. It was the first time during my visit to Miraval that I felt attuned to how deeply, painfully exposed people can allow themselves to be when there's even a sliver of permission to be honest.
Jessi Klein (You'll Grow Out of It)
Any relationship will have its difficulties, but sometimes those problems are indicators of deep-rooted problems that, if not addressed quickly, will poison your marriage. If any of the following red flags—caution signs—exist in your relationship, we recommend that you talk about the situation as soon as possible with a pastor, counselor or mentor. Part of this list was adapted by permission from Bob Phillips, author of How Can I Be Sure: A Pre-Marriage Inventory.1 You have a general uneasy feeling that something is wrong in your relationship. You find yourself arguing often with your fiancé(e). Your fiancé(e) seems irrationally angry and jealous whenever you interact with someone of the opposite sex. You avoid discussing certain subjects because you’re afraid of your fiancé(e)’s reaction. Your fiancé(e) finds it extremely difficult to express emotions, or is prone to extreme emotions (such as out-of-control anger or exaggerated fear). Or he/she swings back and forth between emotional extremes (such as being very happy one minute, then suddenly exhibiting extreme sadness the next). Your fiancé(e) displays controlling behavior. This means more than a desire to be in charge—it means your fiancé(e) seems to want to control every aspect of your life: your appearance, your lifestyle, your interactions with friends or family, and so on. Your fiancé(e) seems to manipulate you into doing what he or she wants. You are continuing the relationship because of fear—of hurting your fiancé(e), or of what he or she might do if you ended the relationship. Your fiancé(e) does not treat you with respect. He or she constantly criticizes you or talks sarcastically to you, even in public. Your fiancé(e) is unable to hold down a job, doesn’t take personal responsibility for losing a job, or frequently borrows money from you or from friends. Your fiancé(e) often talks about aches and pains, and you suspect some of these are imagined. He or she goes from doctor to doctor until finding someone who will agree that there is some type of illness. Your fiancé(e) is unable to resolve conflict. He or she cannot deal with constructive criticism, or never admits a mistake, or never asks for forgiveness. Your fiancé(e) is overly dependant on parents for finances, decision-making or emotional security. Your fiancé(e) is consistently dishonest and tries to keep you from learning about certain aspects of his or her life. Your fiancé(e) does not appear to recognize right from wrong, and rationalizes questionable behavior. Your fiancé(e) consistently avoids responsibility. Your fiancé(e) exhibits patterns of physical, emotional or sexual abuse toward you or others. Your fiancé(e) displays signs of drug or alcohol abuse: unexplained absences of missed dates, frequent car accidents, the smell of alcohol or strong odor of mouthwash, erratic behavior or emotional swings, physical signs such as red eyes, unkempt look, unexplained nervousness, and so on. Your fiancé(e) has displayed a sudden, dramatic change in lifestyle after you began dating. (He or she may be changing just to win you and will revert back to old habits after marriage.) Your fiancé(e) has trouble controlling anger. He or she uses anger as a weapon or as a means of winning arguments. You have a difficult time trusting your fiancé(e)—to fulfill responsibilities, to be truthful, to help in times of need, to make ethical decisions, and so on. Your fiancé(e) has a history of multiple serious relationships that have failed—a pattern of knowing how to begin a relationship but not knowing how to keep one growing. Look over this list. Do any of these red flags apply to your relationship? If so, we recommend you talk about the situation as soon as possible with a pastor, counselor or mentor.
David Boehi (Preparing for Marriage: Discover God's Plan for a Lifetime of Love)