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You love me. Real or not real?"
I tell him, "Real.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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You're still trying to protect me. Real or not real," he whispers.
"Real," I answer. "Because that's what you and I do, protect each other.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now and live in it forever.
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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I can feel Peeta press his forehead into my temple and he asks, 'So now that you've got me, what are you going to do with me?' I turn into him. 'Put you somewhere you can't get hurt.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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And then he gives me a smile that just seems so genuinely sweet with just the right touch of shyness that unexpected warmth rushes through me.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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I realize only one person will be damaged beyond repair if Peeta dies. Me.
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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You're a painter. You're a baker. You like to sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. And you always double-knot your shoelaces.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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You here to finish me off, Sweetheart?
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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Sometimes when I'm alone, I take the pearl from where it lives in my pocket and try to remember the boy with the bread, the strong arms that warded off nightmares on the train, the kisses in the arena.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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I'm coming back into focus when Caesar asks him if he has a girlfriend back home. Peeta hesitates, then gives an unconvincing shake of his head.
Handsome lad like you. There must be some special girl. Come on, whatβs her name?" says Caesar.
Peeta sighs. "Well, there is this one girl. Iβve had a crush on her ever since I can remember. But Iβm pretty sure she didnβt know I was alive until the reaping."
Sounds of sympathy from the crowd. Unrequited love they can relate to.
She have another fellow?" asks Caesar.
I donβt know, but a lot of boys like her," says Peeta.
So, hereβs what you do. You win, you go home. She canβt turn you down then, eh?" says Caesar encouragingly.
I donβt think itβs going to work out. Winning...wonβt help in my case," says Peeta.
Why ever not?" says Caesar, mystified.
Peeta blushes beet red and stammers out. "Because...because...she came here with me.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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So I only say, "So what should we do with our last few days?"
"I just want to spend every possible minute of the rest of my life with you," Peeta replies.
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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Ally." Peeta says the words slowly, tasting it. "Friend. Lover. Victor. Enemy. Fiancee. Target. Mutt. Neighbor. Hunter. Tribute. Ally. I'll add it to the list of words I use to try to figure you out. The problem is, I can't tell what's real anymore, and what's made up.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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I must have loved you a lot.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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Peeta, how come I never know when you're having a nightmare?β I say.
βI don't know. I don't think I cry out or thrash around or anything. I just come to, paralyzed with terror,β he says.
βYou should wake me,β I say, thinking about how I can interrupt his sleep two or three times on a bad night. About how long it can take to calm me down.
βIt's not necessary. My nightmares are usually about losing you,β he says. βI'm okay once I realize you're here.
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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The bird, the pin, the song, the berries, the watch, the cracker, the dress that burst into flames. I am the mockingjay. The one that survived despite the Capitol's plans. The symbol of the rebellion.
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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There's a chance that the old Peeta, the one who loves you, is still inside. Trying to get back to you. Don't give up on him.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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For there to be betrayal, there would have to have been trust first.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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Peeta, you said at the interview youβd had a crush on me forever. When did forever start?
Oh, letβs see. I guess the first day of school. We were five. You had on a red plaid dress and your hair...it was in two braids instead of one. My father pointed you out when we were waiting to line up."
Your father? Why?"
He said, βSee that little girl? I wanted to marry her mother, but she ran off with a coal miner.'"
What? Youβre making that up!"
No, true story. And I said, 'A coal miner? Why did she want a coal miner if she couldβve had you?' And he said, 'Because when he sings...even the birds stop to listen.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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Oh, Peeta, Don't make me sorry I restarted your heart.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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No. Now, shut up and eat your pears.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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I'm going to wake Peeta," I say.
"No, wait," says Finnick. "Let's do it together. Put our faces right in front of his."
Well, there's so little opportunity for fun left in my life, I agree. We position ourselves on either side of Peeta, lean over until our faces are inches frim his nose, and give him a shake. "Peeta. Peeta, wake up," I say in a soft, singsong voice.
His eyelids flutter open and then he jumps like we've stabbed him. "Aa!"
Finnick and I fall back in the sand, laughing our heads off. Every time we try to stop, we look at Peeta's attempt to maintain a disdainful expression and it sets us off again.
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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Look, if you wanted to be babied you should have asked Peeta.
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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That what I need to survive is not Gale's fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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I pull an arrow, whip the notch into place, and am about to let it fly when I'm stopped by the sight of Finnick kissing Peeta. And it's so bizarre, even for Finnick.
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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And while I was talking, the idea of actually losing Peeta hit me again and I realized how much I don't want him to die. And it's not about the sponsors. And it's not about what will happen when we get home. And it's not just that I don't want to be alone. It's him. I do not want to lose the boy with the bread.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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I turn and put my lips close to Peeta's and drop my eyelids in imitation... "He offered me sugar and wanted to know all my secrets," I say in my best seductive voice.
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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I think....you still have no idea. The effect you can have.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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One more time? For the audience?" he says. His voice isn't angry. It's hollow, which is worse. Already the boy with the bread is slipping away from me.
I take his hand, holding on tightly, preparing for the cameras, and dreading the moment when I will finally have to let go.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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You have a... remarkable memory."
"I remember everything about you. You're the one who wasn't paying attention.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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No, it happened. And right when your song ended, I knew - just like your mother - I was a goner,' Peeta says.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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All those months of taking it for granted that Peeta thought I was wonderful are over. Finally, he can see me for who I really am. Violent. Distrustful. Manipulative. Deadly. And I hate him for it.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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Well, I knew that goat would be a little gold mine," I say.
Yes, of course I was referring to that, not the lasting joy you gave your sister you love so much you took her place in the reaping," says Peeta drily.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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Katniss. I remember about the bread.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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I raise my left arm and twist my neck down to rip off the pill on my sleeve. Instead my teeth sink into flesh. I yank my head back in confusion to find myself looking into Peetaβs eyes, only now they hold my gaze. Blood runs from the teeth marks on the hand he clamped over my nightlock.
βLet me go!β I snarl at him, trying to wrest my arm from his grasp.
βI canβt,β he says.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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What about Gale?"
"He's not a bad kisser either," I say shortly.
"And it was okay with both of us? You kissing the other?" He asks.
"No. It wasn't okay with either of you. But I wasn't asking your permission," I tell him.
Peeta laughs again, coldly, dismissively. "Well, you're a piece of work, aren't you?
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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I don't want you forgetting how different our circumstaces are. If you die, and I live, there's no life for me at all back in District Twelve. You're my whole life." Peeta says. "I would never be happy again. It's different for you. I'm not saying it wouldn't be hard. But there are other people who'd make your life worth living."
"No one really needs me," he says, and there's no selfpity in his voice. It's true his family doesn't need him. They will mourn him, as will a handfull of friends. But they will get on.... I realise only one person will be damaged beyond repair if Peeta dies. Me.
"I do," I say. "I need you.
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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Delly lost her temper at Peeta over how he treated you. She got very squeaky. It was like someone stabbing a mouse with a fork repeatedly.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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Whose is it, do you think?" I say finally.
"No telling," says Finnick. "Why don't we let Peeta claim it, since he died today?
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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You're alive," I whisper, pressing my palms against my cheeks, feeling the smile that's so wide it must look like a grimace. Peeta's alive.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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Peeta and I had adjoining cells in the capitol. We're very familiar with each other's screams.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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In the end, the only person I truly want to comfort me is Haymitch, because he loves Peeta, too.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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Peeta, you were supposed to wake me after a couple of hours," I say.
"For what? Nothing's going on here," he says. "Besides, I like watching you sleep. You don't scowl. Improves your looks a lot."
This, of course, brings on a scowl that makes him grin.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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Only I keep wishing I could think of a way...to show the Capitol they don't own me. That I'm more than just a piece in their Games.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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Stay with me.
Always.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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I'm more than just a piece in their Games.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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But I have to confess, I'm glad you two had at least a few months of happiness together."
I'm not glad," says Peeta. "I wish we had waited until the whole thing was done officially."
This takes even Caesar aback. "Surely even a brief time is better than no time?"
Maybe I'd think that, too, Caesar," says Peeta bitterly, "If it weren't for the baby.
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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At a few minutes before four, Peeta turns to me again. "Your favorite colour . . . it's green?"
"That's right." Then I think of something to add. "And yours is orange."
"Orange?" He seems unconvinced.
"Not bright orange. But soft. Like the sunset," I say. "At least, that's what you told me once."
"Oh." He closes his eyes briefly, maybe trying to conjure up that sunset, then nods his head. "Thank you."
But more words tumble out. "You're a painter. You're a baker. You like to sleep with the windows open. You never take sugar in your tea. And you always double-knot your shoelaces."
Then I dive into my tent before I do something stupid like cry.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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If Peeta and I were both to die, or they thought we were....My fingers fumble with the pouch on my belt, freeing it. Peeta sees it and his hand clamps on my wrist. "No, I won't let you." "Trust me," I whisper. He holds my gaze for a long moment then lets go. I loosen the top of the pouch and pour a few spoonfuls of berries into his palm. Then I fill my own. "On the count of three?" Peeta leans down and kisses me once, very gently. "The count of three," he says. We stand, our backs pressed together, our empty hands locked tight. "Hold them out. I want everyone to see," he says. I spread out my fingers, and the dark berries glisten in the sun. I give Peeta's hand one last squeeze as a signal, as a good-bye, and we begin counting. "One." Maybe I'm wrong. "Two." Maybe they don't care if we both die. "Three!" It's too late to change my mind. I lift my hand to my mouth taking one last look at the world. The berries have just passed my lips when the trumpets begin to blare. The frantic voice of Claudius Templesmith shouts above them. "Stop! Stop! Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to present the victors of the 74th Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark! I give you - the tributes of District 12!
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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I know what blood poisoning is, Katniss," says Peeta. "Even if my mother isn't a healer."
I'm jolted back in time, to another wound, another set of bandages. "You said that same thing to me in the first Hunger Games. Real or not real?"
"Real," he says. "And you risked your life getting the medicine that saved me?"
"Real." I shrug. "You were the reason I was alive to do it.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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Peeta bakes. I hunt. Haymitch drinks until the liquor runs out.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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And there I am, blushing and confused, made beautiful by Cinnaβs hands, desirable by Peetaβs confession, tragic by circumstance, and by all accounts, unforgettable.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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Katniss, I don't think President Snow will kill Peeta. If he does, he won't have any way to hurt you."
"So, what do you think they'll do to him?" I ask.
"Whatever it takes to break you.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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That's very funny," says Peeta. Suddenly he lashes out at the glass in Haymitch's hand. It shatters on the floor, sending the bloodred liquid running toward the back of the train. "Only not to us.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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I just...I just miss him. And I hate being so alone.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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Oh, no. It costs a lot more than your life. To murder innocent people?" says Peeta. "It costs everything you are.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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What's going on down there, Katniss? Have they all joined hands? Taken a vow of nonviolence? Tossed the weapons in the sea in defiance of the Capitol?' Finnick asks.
No,' I say.
No,' Finnick repeats. 'Because whatever happened in the past is in the past. And no one in this arena was a victor by chance.' He eyes Peeta for a moment. 'Except maybe Peeta.
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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Sick and disoriented, I'm able to form only one thought: Peeta Mellark just saved my life.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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Peeta?" I creep along the bank.
"Well, don't step on me.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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It's a long shot, it's suicide maybe, but I do the only thing I can think of. I lean in and kiss Peeta full on the mouth. His whole body starts shuddering, but I keep my lips pressed to his until I have to come up for air. My hands slide up his wrists to clasp his. "Don't let him take you from me."
Peeta's panting hard as he fights the nightmares raging his head. "No. I don't want to. . ."
I clench his hands to the point of pain. "Stay with me."
His pupils contract to pinpoints, dilate again rapidly, and then return to something resembling normalcy. "Always," he murmurs.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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Because...because...she came here with me.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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All right, so give me some idea of what you can do," says Haymitch.
I canβt do anything," says Peeta, "unless you count baking bread."
Sorry, I donβt. Katniss. I already know youβre handy with a knife,β says Haymitch.
Not really. But I can hunt,β I say. βWith a bow and arrow.β
And youβre good?β asks Haymitch.
I have to think about it. Iβve been putting food on the table for four years. Thatβs no small task. Iβm not as good as my father was, but heβd had more practice. Iβve better aim than Gale, but Iβve had more practice. Heβs a genius with traps and snares. βIβm all right,β I say.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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but it's not safe and I can feel him slipping away, so I just get out one more sentence. "Stay with me."
As the tendrils of sleep syrup pull me down, I hear him whisper a word back but I don't catch it.
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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I look at Peeta and he gives me a sad smile. I hear Haymitch's voice. "You could do a lot worse." At this moment, it's impossible to imagine how I could do any better. The gift...it is perfect. So when I rise up on my tiptoe to kiss him, it doesn't seem forced at all.
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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A furious Peeta hammers Haymitch with the atrocity he could become party to, but I can feel Haymitch watching me. This is the moment, then. When we find out exactly just how alike we are, and how much he truly understands me.
"I'm with the Mockingjay," he says.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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Not like this. He wanted it to be real.
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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I remember everything about you," says Peeta, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. "You're the one who wasn't paying attention.
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Suzanne Collins
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To this day, I can never shake the connection between this boy, Peeta Mellark, and the bread that gave me hope, and the dandelion that reminded me that I was not doomed.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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I knew it. In this way, Peeta's not hard to predict. While I was wallowing around on the floor of that cellar, thinking only of myself, he was here, thinking of me. Shame isn't a strong enough word for what I feel.
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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Maybe I'd think that, too, Caesar," says Petta bitterly, "if it weren't for the baby."
There. He's done it again.
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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You're punishing him over and over for things that are out of his control. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't have a fully loaded weapon next to you round the clock. But I think it's time you flipped this little scenario in your head. If you'd been taken by the Capitol, and hijacked, and then tried to kill Peeta, is this the way he would be treating you?" demands Haymitch.
I fall silent. It isn't. It isn't how he would be treating me at all. He would be trying to get me back at any cost. Not shutting me out, abandoning me, greeting me with hostility at every turn.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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But his arms are there to comfort me, and eventually his lips. On the night I feel that thing again, the hunger that overtook me on the beach, I know this would have happened anyway. That what I need to survive is not Gale's fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that. So after, when he whispers, "You love me. Real or not real?" I tell him "Real.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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I no longer feel allegiance to these monsters called human beings, despise being one myself. I think that Peeta was onto something about us destroying one another and letting some decent species take over. Because something is significantly wrong with a creature that sacrifices its childrenβs lives to settle its differences. You can spin it any way you like. Snow thought the Hunger Games were an efficient means of control. Coin thought the parachutes would expedite the war. But in the end, who does it benefit? No one. The truth is, it benefits no one to live in a world where these things happen.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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Katniss: 'What about you? Ive seen you in the market. You can lift hundred pound bags of flour'. I snap at him
Tell him that. Thats not nothing.
Peeta: Yes and Im sure the arena will be full of bags of flour for me to chuck at people.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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Beetee is still messing round the tree, doing I don't know what. At one point he snaps off a sliver of bark, joins us, and throws it against the force field. It bounces back and lands on the ground, glowing. In a few moments it returns to its original color. "Well, that explains a lot," says Beetee. I look at Peeta and can't help biting my lip to keep from laughing since it explains absolutely nothing to anyone but Beetee.
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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The problem is, I canβt tell whatβs real anymore, and whatβs made up.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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Peeta opens his mouth for the first bite without hesitation. He swallows, then frowns slightly. "They're very sweet."
"Yes they're sugar berries. My mother makes jam from them. Haven't you've ever had them before?" I say, poking the next spoonful in his mouth.
"No," he says, almost puzzled. "But they taste familiar. Sugar berries?"
"Well, you can't get them in the market much, they only grow wild," I say. Another mouthful goes down. Just one more to go.
"They're sweet as syrup," he says, taking the last spoonful. "Syrup." His eyes widen as he realizes the truth. I clamp my hand over his mouth and nose hard, forcing him to swallow instead of spit. He tries to make himself vomit the stuff up, but it's too late, he's already losing consciousness. Even as he fades away, I can see in his eyes what I've done is unforgiveable.
I sit back on my heels and look at him with a mixture of sadness and satisfaction. A stray berry stains his chin and I wipe it away. "Who can't lie, Peeta?" I say, even though he can't hear me.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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So that day, in music assembly, the teacher asked who knew the valley song. Your hand shot right up in the air. She stood you up on a stool and had you sing it for us. And I swear, every bird outside the windows fell silent...and right when your song ended, I knew - just like your mother - I was a goner.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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I'm not Team Gale or Team Peeta. I'm Team Katniss...the core story in the Hunger Games trilogy has less to do with who Katniss ends up with and more to do with who she is - because sometimes, in books and in life, it's not about the romance.
Sometimes, it's about the girl.
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Jennifer Lynn Barnes (The Girl Who Was on Fire: Your Favorite Authors on Suzanne Collins' Hunger Games Trilogy)
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By late afternoon I lie with my head in Peetaβs lap making a crown of flowers while he fiddles with my hair claiming he is practicing knots. After awhile his hands go still.
βWhat?β I ask.
βI wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever,β he says.
Usually this sort of comment, the kind that hints his undying love for me, makes me feel guilty and awful. But Iβm so relaxed and beyond worrying about a future Iβll never have, I just let the word slip out.
βOkay,β I say.
I can hear the smile in his voice. βThen youβll allow it?β
βIβll allow it.
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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Shame isn't a strong enough word for what I feel.
"You could live a hundred lifetimes and not deserve him, you know," Haymitch says.
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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I think of the snarling, cruel exchange back on the hovercraft. The bitterness that followed. But all I say is "I can't believe you didn't rescue Peeta."
"I know," he replies.
There's a sense of incompleteness. And not because he hasn't apologized. But because we were a team. We had a deal to keep Peeta safe. A drunken, unrealistic deal made in the dark of night, but a deal just the same. And in my heart of hearts, I know we both failed.
"Now you say it," I tell him.
"I can't believe you let him out of your sight that night," says Haymitch.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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Then, in my most careful handwriting, come all the details it would be a crime to forget. Lady licking Prim's cheek. My father's laugh. Peeta's father with the cookies. The colour of Finnick's eyes. What Cinna could do with a length of silk. Boggs reprogramming the Holo. Rue poised on her toes, arms slightly extended, like a bird about to take flight. On and on. We seal the pages with salt water and promises to live well to make their death count.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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It's impossible to be the Mockingjay. Impossible to complete even this one sentence. Because now I know that everything I say will be directly taken out on Peeta. Result in his torture. But not his death, no, nothing so merciful as that. Snow will ensure that his life is much more worse than death.
"Cut," I hear Cressida say quietly.
"What's wrong with her?" Plutarch says under his breath.
"She's figured out how Snow's using Peeta," says Finnick.
There's something like a collective sigh of regret from that semicircle of people spread out before me. Because I know this now. Because there will never be a way for me to not know this again. Because, beyond the military disadvantage losing a entails, I am broken.
Several sets of arms would embrace me. But in the end, the only person I truly want to comfort me is Haymitch, because he loves Peeta, too. I reach out for him and say something like his name and he's there, holding me and patting my back. "It's okay. It'll be okay, sweetheart." He sits me on a length of broken marble pillar and keeps an arm around me while I sob.
"I can't do this anymore," I say.
"I know," he says.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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No problem," Gale replies. "I wake up ten times a night anyway."
"To make sure Katniss is still here?" asks Peeta.
"Something like that,"...
"That was funny, what Tigris said. About no one knowing what to do with her."
"Well, WE never have,"...
"She loves you, you know," says Peeta. "She as good as told me after they whipped you."
"Don't believe it,"Gale answers. "The way she kissed you in the Quarter Quell...well she never kissed me like that."
"It was just part of the show," Peeta tells him, although there's an edge of doubt in his voice.
"No, you won her over. Gave up everything for her. Maybe that's the only way to convince her you love her." There's a long pause. "I should have volunteered to take your place in the first Games. Protected her then."
"You couldn't," says Peeta. "She'd never have forgiven you. You had to take care of her family. They matter more to her than her life."
...
"I wonder how she'll make up her mind."
"Oh, that I do know." I can just catch Gale's last words through the layer of fur. "Katniss will pick whoever she thinks she can't survive without
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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Why not? It's true. My best hope is to not disgrace myself and..." He hesitates.
And what?" I say.
I don't know how to say it exactly. Only... I want to die as myself. Does that make any sense?" he asks. I shake my head. How could he die as anyone but himself? "I don't want them to change me in there. Turn me into some kind of monster that I'm not."
I bite my lip feeling inferior. While I've been ruminating on the availability of trees, Peeta has been struggling with how to maintain his identity. His purity of self. "Do you mean you won't kill anyone?" I ask.
No, when the time comes, I'm sure I'll kill just like everybody else. I can't go down without a fight. Only I keep wishing I could think of a way to... to show the Capitol they don't own me. That I'm more than just a piece in their Games," says Peeta.
But you're not," I say. "None of us are. That's how the Games work."
Okay, but within that frame work, there's still you, there's still me," he insists. "Don't you see?"
A little, Only... no offense, but who cares, Peeta?" I say.
I do. I mean what else am I allowed to care about at this point?" he asks angrily. He's locked those blue eyes on mine now, demanding an answer.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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In stark contrast to two nights ago, when I felt Peeta was a million miles away, I'm struck by his immediacy now. As we settle in, he pulls my head down to use his arm as a pillow; the other rests protectively over me even when he goes to sleep. No one has held me like this in such a long time. Since my father died and I stopped trusting my mother, no one else's arms have made me feel this safe.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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Peeta's awake already, sitting on the side of the bed, looking bewildered as the trio of doctors reassure him, flash lights in his eyes, checks his pules. I'm disappointed that mine was not the first face he saw when he woke up, but he sees it now. His features registrer disbelief and something more intense that I can't quite place. Desire? Desperation? Surely both, for he sweeps the doctors aside, leaps to his feets and moves towards me. I run to meet him, my arms extended to embrace him. His hands are reaching for mine too, to caress my face, I think.
My lips are forming his name when his fingers lock around my throat.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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The question is, what are you going to do?"
It turns out the question that's been eating away at me has only ever had one possible answer. But it took Peeta's ploy for me to recognize it.
What am I going to do?
I take a deep breath. My arms rise slightly - as if recalling the black-and-white wings Cinna gave me - then come to rest at my sides.
"I'm going to be the Mockingjay.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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Agreed," I say. "It's going to be a long hour."
"Maybe not that long," says Peeta." what was that you were saying just before the food arrived? Something about me ... no competition ... best thing that ever happened to you ... "
" I don't remember that last part," I say, hoping it's too dim in here for the cameras to pick up my blush.
" Oh, that's right. That's what I was thinking," he says " Scoot over, I'm freezing.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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As we curve around into the loop of the City Circle, I can see that a couple of other stylists have tried to steal Cinna and Portia's idea of illuminating their tributes. The electric-light-studded outfits from District 3, where they make electronics, at least make sense. But what are the livestock keepers from Distric 10, who are dressed as cows, doing with flaming belts? Broiling themselves? Pathetic.
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Suzanne Collins
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It's only now that he's been corrupted that I can fully appreciate the real Peeta. Even more than I would've if he'd died. The kindness, the steadiness, the warmth that had an unexpected heat behind it. Outside of Prim, my mother and Gale, how many people in the world love me unconditionally? I think in my case, the answer may be none.
Sometimes, when I'm alone, I take the pearl from where it lives in my pocket and try to remember the boy with the bread, the strong arms that warded off nightmares on the train, the kisses in the arena. To make myself put a name to the thing I've lost. But what's the use? It's gone. He's gone. Whatever existed between us is gone. All that's left is my promise to kill Snow. I tell myself this ten times a day.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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You know what my mother said to me when she came to say good-bye, as if to cheer me up, she says maybe District Twelve will finally have a winner. Then I realized she didn't mean me, she meant you!" bursts out Peeta.
"Oh, she meant you," I say with a wave of dismissal.
"She said, 'She's a survivor, that one.' She is," says Peeta.
That pulls me up short. Did his mother really say that about me? Did she rate me over her son? I see the pain in Peeta's eyes and know he isn't lying.
Suddenly I'm behind the bakery and I can feel the chill of the rain running down my back, the hollowness in my belly. I sound eleven years old when I speak. "But only because someone helped me.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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No one really needs me," he says, and there's no self pity in his voice. It's true his family doesn't need him. They will mourn him, as will a handful of friends. But they will get on. Even Haymitch, with the help of a lot of white liquor, will get on. I realize only one person will be damaged beyond repair if Peeta dies. Me.
"I do," I say. "I need you." he looks upset, takes a deep breath as if to begin a long argument, and that's no good, no good at all, because he'll start going on about Prim and my mother and everything and I'll just get confused. So before he can talk, i stop his lips with a kiss.
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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The mayor finishes the dreary Treaty of Treason and motions for Peeta and me to shake hands. His are as solid and warm as those loaves of bread. Peeta looks me right in the eye and gives my hand what I think is meant to be a reassuring squeeze. Maybe it's just a nervous spasm.
We turn back the crowd as the anthem of Panem plays.
Oh well, I think. There will be twenty-four of us. Odds are someone else will kill him before I do.
Of course, the odds have not been very dependable of late.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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I've been down by the stream collecting berries. Would you care for some?"
I would, actually, but I don't want to relent too soon. I do walk over and look at them. I've never seen this type before. No, I have. But not in the arena. These aren't Rue's berries, although they resemble them. Nor do they match any I learned about in training. I lean down and scoop up a few, rolling them between my fingers.
My father's voice comes back to me. "Not these, Katniss. Never these. They're nightlock. You'll be dead before they reach your stomach."
Just then the cannon fires. I whip around, expecting Peeta to collapseto the ground, but he only raises his eyebrows. The hoovercraft appears a hundred metres or so away.What's left of Foxface's emaciated body is lifted into the air.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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When Peeta holds out his arms, I walk straight into them. It's the first time since they announced the Quarter Quell that he's offered me any sort of affection. He's been more like a very demanding trainer, always pushing, always insisting Haymitch and I run faster, eat more, know our enemy better. Lovers? Forget about that. He abandoned any pretense of even being my friend. I wrap my arms tightly around his neck before he can order me to do push-ups or something. Instead he pulls me in close and buries his face in my hair. Warmth radiates from the spot where his lips just touch my neck, slowly spreading through the rest of me. It feels so good, so impossibly good, that I know I will not be the first to let go.
And why should I?
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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Peeta and I grow back together. There are still moments when he clutches the back of a chair and hangs on until the flashbacks are over. I wake screaming from nightmares of mutts and lost children. But his arms are there to comfort me. And eventually his lips. On the night I feel that thing again, the hunger that overtook me on the beach, I know this would have happened anyway. That what I need to survive is not Gale's fire, kindled with rage and hatred. I have plenty of fire myself. What I need is the dandelion in the spring. The bright yellow that means rebirth instead of destruction. The promise that life can go on, no matter how bad our losses. That it can be good again. And only Peeta can give me that. So after, when he whispers, "You love me. Real or not real?" I tell him, "Real.
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Suzanne Collins (Mockingjay (The Hunger Games, #3))
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I know my own reasons for keeping Peeta alive. He's my friend, and this is my way to defy the Capitol, to subvert its terrible Games. But if I had no real ties to him, what would make me want to save him, to choose him over myself? Certainly he is brave, but we have all been brave enough to survive a Games. There is that quality of goodness that's hard to overlook, but stil... and then I think of it, what Peeta can do so much better than the rest of us. He can use words. He obliterated the rest of the field at both interviews. And maybe it's because of that underlying goodness that he can move a crowd--no, a country--to his side with the turn of a simple sentence.
I remember thinking that was the gift the leader of our revolution should have. Has Haymitch convinced the others of this? That Peeta's tongue would have far greater power against the Capitol than any physical strength the rest of us could claim? I don't know. It still seems like a really long leap for some of the tributes. I mean, we're talking about Johanna Mason here. But what other explanation can there be for their decided efforts to keep him alive?
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))
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Peeta,β I say lightly. βYou said at the interview youβd had a crush on me forever. When did forever start?β
βOh, letβs see. I guess the first day of school. We were five. You had on a red plaid dress and your hair... it was in two braids instead of one. My father pointed you out when we were waiting to line up,β Peeta says.
βYour father? Why?β I ask.
βHe said, βSee that little girl? I wanted to marry her mother, but she ran off with a coal miner,ββ Peeta says.
βWhat? Youβre making that up!β I exclaim.
βNo, true story,β Peeta says. βAnd I said, βA coal miner? Why did she want a coal miner if she couldβve had you?β And he said, βBecause when he sings... even the birds stop to listen.ββ
βThatβs true. They do. I mean, they did,β I say. Iβm stunned and surprisingly moved, thinking of the baker telling this to Peeta. It strikes me that my own reluctance to sing, my own dismissal of music might not really be that I think itβs a waste of time. It might be because it reminds me too much of my father.
βSo that day, in music assembly, the teacher asked who knew the valley song. Your hand shot right up in the air. She stood you up on a stool and had you sing it for us. And I swear, every bird outside the windows fell silent,β Peeta says.
βOh, please,β I say, laughing.
βNo, it happened. And right when your song ended, I knewβjust like your motherβI was a goner,β Peeta says. βThen for the next eleven years, I tried to work up the nerve to talk to you.β
βWithout success,β I add.
βWithout success. So, in a way, my name being drawn in the reaping was a real piece of luck,β says Peeta. For a moment, Iβm almost foolishly happy and then confusion sweeps over me. Because weβre supposed to be making up this stuff, playing at being in love not actually being in love. But Peetaβs story has a ring of truth to it. That part about my father and the birds. And I did sing the first day of school, although I donβt remember the song. And that red plaid dress... there was one, a hand-me-down to Prim that got washed to rags after my fatherβs death.
It would explain another thing, too. Why Peeta took a beating to give me the bread on that awful hollow day. So, if those details are true... could it all be true?
βYou have a... remarkable memory,β I say haltingly. βI remember everything about you,β says Peeta, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear. βYouβre the one who wasnβt paying attention.β
βI am now,β I say.
βWell, I donβt have much competition here,β he says. I want to draw away, to close those shutters again, but I know I canβt. Itβs as if I can hear Haymitch whispering in my ear, βSay it! Say it!β
I swallow hard and get the words out. βYou donβt have much competition anywhere.β And this time, itβs me who leans in.
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Suzanne Collins (The Hunger Games (The Hunger Games, #1))
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Peeta and I sit on the damp sand, facing away from each other, my right shoulder and hip pressed against his.
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After a while I rest my head against his shoulder. Feel his hand caress my hair.
"Katniss... If you die, and I live, there's no life for me at all back in District Twelve. You're my whole life", he says. "I would never be happy again."
I start to object but he puts a finger to my lips. "It's different for you. I'm not sayin it wouldn't be hard. But there are other people who'd make your life worth living." ... "Your family needs you, Katniss", Peeta says.
My family. My mother. My sister. And my pretend cousin Gale. But Peeta's intension is clear. That Gale really is my family, or will be one day, if I live. That I'll marry him. So Peeta's giving me his life and Gale at the same time. To let me know I shouldn't ever have doubts about it.
Everithing. That's what Peeta wants me to take from him.
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"No one really needs me", he says, and there's no self-pity in his voice. It's true his family doesen't need him. They will mourn him, as will a handful of friends. But they will get on. Even Haymitch, with the help of a lot of white liquor, will get on. I realize only one person will be damaged beyond repair if Peeta dies. Me.
"I do", I say. "I need you." He looks upset, takes a deep breath as if to begin a long argument, and that's no good, no good at all, because he'll start going on about Prim and my mother and everything and I'll just get confused. So before he can talk, I stop his lips with a kiss.
I feel that thing again. The thing I only felt once before. In the cave last year, when I was trying to get Haymitch to send us food. I kissed Peeta about a thousand times during those Games and after. But there was only one kiss that made me feel something stir deep inside. Only one that made me want more. But my head wound started bleeding and he made me lie down.
This time, there is nothing but us to interrupt us. And after a few attempts, Peeta gives up on talking. The sensation inside me grows warmer and spreads out from my chest, down through my body, out along my arms and legs, to the tips of my being. Instead of satisfying me, the kisses have the opposite effect, of making my need greater. I thought I was something of an expert on hunger, but this is an entirely new kind.
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Suzanne Collins (Catching Fire (The Hunger Games, #2))