Partner Cheating Quotes

We've searched our database for all the quotes and captions related to Partner Cheating. Here they are! All 100 of them:

They'll say you are bad or perhaps you are mad or at least you should stay undercover. Your mind must be bare if you would dare to think you can love more than one lover.
David Rovics
Many people think it’s normal to cheat on their partners. But they are unaware that by doing so, they will never be able to reach the depths of love.
Rebecca Harlem (The Pink Cadillac)
I always knew there was no one who is going to accept my flaws and understand my brokenness.And i knew it very well that nobody would hold my hand when the wind of darkness overcome my life so i just pushed them,i pushed them all away.
Carl W. Bazil
Those who cheat on their partners who are loyal to them; don't deserve them. It is a trashy attitude to disrespect a person who is loyal in a relationship, by cheating on him or her.
Ellen J. Barrier
Cheating in relationship is a sign of self-regulation failure. When it happens ones, it is a mistake. When it happens twice, it is unfortunate. But when it happens thrice or more, it is a pattern indicating primitive, uncivilized inhuman behavior.
Abhijit Naskar (Wise Mating: A Treatise on Monogamy (Humanism Series))
The fact that you do not trust your spouse or lover doesn’t necessarily mean that they are cheating on you; and the fact that you do doesn’t necessarily mean that they aren’t.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Being faithful and monogamous is not natural for human beings. It takes work. Deep down we all know that. We have all been tempted to stray at some point or another. Even when it was only a fleeting thought and we didn't act on it. Every time we acknowledge that someone of the opposite sex is "attractive" or "sexy" we are doing nothing other than pointing out that they would be a suitable mate. Not acting on that natural impulse to want to mate with a viable mating partner requires a conscious decision. It's a constant struggle between what your body wants, and what the civilized part of your brain says you should do, in order to avoid the negative consequences of cheating on your spouse and ruining your long-term relationship. That's why affairs, and extra-marital sex, are often referred to as "a moment of weakness.
Oliver Markus Malloy (Why Men And Women Can't Be Friends)
Some people view love and romance as a sacred bond between two individuals. Other people see love as a game, where the goal is to manipulate another individual and gain emotional power over a partner. People who view love as a game are much more likely to have multiple love interest; cheating is just another way to gain control over one's partner.
David Reeves (In My Opinion)
You know that when your partner deletes their messages to a past lover after being accused of cheating, then it is likely that they were being unfaithful in some way.
Steven Magee
Virtually all women will always carry the scars and a deep sense of loss and grief from the betrayal. Whether a woman has stayed, left, or been left, it must be remembered that time is the salve on this journey towards forgiveness and healing, because it is also a process of grieving.
Meryn G. Callander (After His Affair: Women Rising from the Ashes of Infidelity)
It's never ok to hit a girl. Never. Not even if she cheats on you. A girl is not your property. She's a human being. She is just as important as you. She is your equal. And her wishes and feelings are just as valid as yours. All you can do is treat her nice, and hope she wants to be with you. If she chooses to be with you, great! If not, or if she chooses to leave you at some point, you have to let her go. You have no right to stop her. You don't own her, and you don't have the right to tell her what to do. She's your partner. Not your servant, not your sex slave, and not your punching bag.
Oliver Markus (Sex and Crime: Oliver's Strange Journey)
Either one is promiscuous or in a relationship - it cannot be both at the same time.
Abhijit Naskar (Wise Mating: A Treatise on Monogamy (Humanism Series))
I will eternally give thanks for those women who essentially said, ‘Yes, I see you. And I love you. I see your pain. You have every right to be right where you are, right now. And you will come through this. You will.
Meryn G. Callander (After His Affair: Women Rising from the Ashes of Infidelity)
To summarize what I have said: Aim for the highest; never enter a bar-room; do not touch liquor, or if at all only at meals; never speculate; never indorse beyond your surplus cash fund; make the firm’s interest yours; break orders always to save owners; concentrate; put all your eggs in one basket, and watch that basket; expenditure always within revenue; lastly, be not impatient, for, as Emerson says, “no one can cheat you out of ultimate success but yourselves.” I congratulate poor young men upon being born to that ancient and honourable degree which renders it necessary that they should devote themselves to hard work. A basketful of bonds is the heaviest basket a young man ever had to carry. He generally gets to staggering under it. We have in this city creditable instances of such young men, who have pressed to the front rank of our best and most useful citizens. These deserve great credit. But the vast majority of the sons of rich men are unable to resist the temptations to which wealth subjects them, and sink to unworthy lives. I would almost as soon leave a young man a curse, as burden him with the almighty dollar. It is not from this class you have rivalry to fear. The partner’s sons will not trouble you much, but look out that some boys poorer, much poorer than yourselves, whose parents cannot afford to give them the advantages of a course in this institute, advantages which should give you a decided lead in the race–look out that such boys do not challenge you at the post and pass you at the grand stand. Look out for the boy who has to plunge into work direct from the common school and who begins by sweeping out the office. He is the probable dark horse that you had better watch.
Andrew Carnegie (The Road To Business Success)
Cheating is very easy, try something more challenging like being faithful to yourself, dreams, and partner. After all, it is how responsible we are of ourselves, dreams, and partner that we get to mature and grow wiser and responsible.
Kabelo A. Mabona
Cheating is an innate evolutionarily programmed desire, especially in men, but it is not a desire that cannot be controlled.
Abhijit Naskar (Wise Mating: A Treatise on Monogamy (Humanism Series))
But I have no patience for cheaters. I don’t care what people say—cheating never ‘just happens.’ If your eye’s wandering, then there’s something wrong with your relationship. Either work things out with your partner or have the balls to break things off before jumping into bed with someone else. It’s pretty simple.
Ember Casey (Her Wicked Heart (Her Wicked Heart, #1; The Cunningham Family, #3))
The moral of the story couldn’t be clearer: you already know if your partner is fucking around behind your back, you just need to decide if you’re done being a doormat. You need to wake up one morning and decide that those rose-colored glasses are so last fucking season.
Brandi Glanville (Drinking and Tweeting and Other Brandi Blunders)
[...] over the years I’ve seen so many otherwise “good” people doing horrible things to each other – husbands strangling cheating wives, brothers protecting sisters from abusive partners. In the end you realise …’ ‘Realise what?’ ‘That there are no “good” people. There are just those who haven’t been pushed far enough yet, and those that have.
Daniel Cole (Ragdoll (Fawkes and Baxter, #1))
You can see it as you walk through the street: people who have never recovered. You can see it on their face, in their posturing. It needn’t be that way. We really are our brothers’ and sisters’ keepers … we really are obliged to put out our hand to someone who is in that state of shock or trauma because it could be us, just as easily.
Meryn G. Callander (After His Affair: Women Rising from the Ashes of Infidelity)
What are you doing here?" He takes a deep breath. "I came for you." "And how on EARTH did you know I was up here?" "I saw you." He pauses. "I came to make another wish,and I was standing on Point Zero when I saw you enter the tower. I called your name,and you looked around,but you didn't see me." "So you decided to just...come up?" I'm doubtful,despite the evidence in front of me.It must have taken superhuman strength for him to make it past the first flight of stairs alone. "I had to.I couldn't wait for you to come down,I couldn't wait any longer. I had to see you now.I have to know-" He breaks off,and my pulse races. What what what? "Why did you lie to me?" The question startles me.Not what I was expecting.Nor hoping.He's still on the ground,but he stares up at me.His brown eyes are huge and heartbroken. I'm confused. "I'm sorry, I don't know what-" "November.At the creperie. I asked you if we'd talked about anything strange that night I was drunk in your room.If I had said anything about our relationship,or my relationship with Ellie.And you said no." Oh my God. "How did you know?" "Josh told me." "When?" "November." I'm stunned. "I...I..." My throat is dry. "If you'd seen the look on your face that day.In the restaurant. How could I possibly tell you? With your mother-" "But if you had,I wouldn't have wasted all of these months.I thought you were turning me down.I thought you weren't interested." "But you were drunk! You had a girlfriend! What was I supposed to do? God,St. Clair,I didn't even know if you meant it." "Of course I meant it." He stands,and his legs falter. "Careful!" Step.Step.Step. He toddles toward me,and I reach for his hand to guide him.We're so close to the edge. He sits next to me and grips my hand harder. "I meant it,Anna.I mean it." "I don't under-" He's exasperated. "I'm saying I'm in love with you! I've been in love with you this whole bleeding year!" My mind spins. "But Ellie-" "I cheated on her every day.In my mind, I thought of you in ways I shouldn't have,again and again. She was nothing compared to you.I've never felt this way about anybody before-" "But-" "The first day of school." He scoots closer. "We weren't physics partners by accident.I saw Professeur Wakefield assigning lab partners based on where people were sitting,so I leaned forward to borrow a pencil from you at just the right moment so he'd think we were next to each other.Anna,I wanted to be your partner the first day." "But..." I can't think straight. "I doubt you love poetry! 'I love you as certain dark things are loved, secretly,between the shadow and the soul.'" I blink at him. "Neruda.I starred the passage.God," he moans. "Why didn't you open it?" "Because you said it was for school." "I said you were beautiful.I slept in your bed!" "You never mave a move! You had a girlfriend!" "No matter what a terrible boyfriend I was,I wouldn't actually cheat on her. But I thought you'd know.With me being there,I thought you'd know." We're going in circles. "How could I know if you never said anything?" "How could I know if you never said anyting?" "You had Ellie!" "You had Toph! And Dave!
Stephanie Perkins (Anna and the French Kiss (Anna and the French Kiss, #1))
Cheating, betraying its easy, changing partner like clothes its easy that's why people run there. Honesty is so difficult ,only people with power of self respect Do it.
Mohammed Zaki Ansari ("Zaki's Gift Of Love")
Although they pretended to be angry, and because that finally destroyed their guilt, some people were each secretly happy to discover that their partner has cheated on them.
Mokokoma Mokhonoana
While each of us must walk this path alone, we need not do so without the empathy, the encouragement and the love of others who are travelling, or have travelled, this terrain—or those who having lived life long and deep and can meet us there, with wisdom and compassion.
Meryn G. Callander (After His Affair: Women Rising from the Ashes of Infidelity)
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart's beat, and if your hearts beat anything but diamonds and clubs, it's because your partner is cheating, or your wife.
Groucho Marx
...if you discover your partner is cheating, drink like it’s your last party, blame everyone else for your problems, let “binging” be your new favorite hobby, and, by all means, FUCKING PANIC.
Brandi Glanville (Drinking and Tweeting and Other Brandi Blunders)
At the point where you are aware that your partner is probably cheating, you should start secretly moving your valuables out of the home and into storage in preparation for the future breakup.
Steven Magee
When asked about the difficulties of sculpture, Michelangelo said, “It is easy. You just chip away all the stone that isn’t David.” It’s simple to cut things out of a life. You break up with a shitty partner, quit eating bread, delete the Twitter app. You cut it out, and the shape of what’s actually killing you clarifies a little. The whole Abrahamic world invests itself in this promise: Don’t lie, don’t cheat, don’t fuck or steal or kill, and you’ll be a good person. Eight of the ten commandments are about what thou shalt not. But you can live a whole life not doing any of that stuff and still avoid doing any good. That’s the whole crisis. The rot at the root of everything. The belief that goodness is built on a constructed absence, not-doing. That belief corrupts everything, has everyone with any power sitting on their hands. A rich man goes a whole day without killing a single homeless person and so goes to sleep content in his goodness. In another world, he’s buying crates of socks and Clif bars and tents, distributing them in city centers. But for him, abstinence reigns.
Kaveh Akbar (Martyr!)
As mature adults, are we not called to a level of discrimination and consideration for the repercussions of our actions on others? Yes, the power of that surge of sexual energy cannot be underestimated—but knowing that every feeling, every impulse, does not need to be acted on … at what cost does a person follow that desire? At what cost to one’s own sense of self-worth and integrity, and at what cost to others?
Meryn G. Callander (After His Affair: Women Rising from the Ashes of Infidelity)
Among the required reading for all PUAs were books on evolutionary theory: The Red Queen by Matt Ridley, The Selfish Gene by Richard Dawkins, Sperm Wars by Robin Baker. You read them, and you understand why women tend to like jerks, why men want so many sexual partners, and why so many people cheat on their spouses. At the same time, however, you understand that the violent impulses most of us successfully repress are actually normal and natural. For Mystery, a Darwinist by nature, these books gave him an intellectual justification for his antisocial emotions and his desire to harm the organism that had mated with his woman. It was not a healthy thing. Tyler
Neil Strauss (The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists)
I can’t describe to you how it feels to go from thinking you have a true partner, true best friend, and true soul mate to seeing that person become your abuser—and then seeing them cheat on you and see that maybe you were a mark all along, a pawn in a game you didn’t see coming that played out exactly the way they intended. I’ve experienced so many shades of this before, and all I can say is this: If you see a woman who is working super hard to become who she’s meant to be and to achieve the things she wants to achieve, and you have nothing to add to her life or to give back to her in any way, please just leave her the fuck alone.
Lane Moore (How to Be Alone: If You Want To, and Even If You Don't)
A DOZEN PHALLACIES WOMEN BUY Phallacy 1. If he love me, he'll be faithful forever. Truth His loving you has nothing to do with his being faithful. Some men are monogamous. Most aren't. The sexy ones usually aren't. Monogamy lasts three, days, three weeks, three months, or at best three years with most men. Often it lasts just about long enough to get you pregnant. Nature has a reason for this. Men are programmed to spread their seed as widely as possible and women to raise live, healthy babies. Human babies take a long time to grow up to self-sufficiency.... Some few paragons of maleness are faithful. Most others cheat. The question is: can you stand it? If the cheating is not blatant and disrespectful and you get a lot out of the relationship in other ways (a friend, a lover, a father to your kids, an economic partner), then consider these alternatives: you can accept his cheating gracefully, and at the same time extract emotional and financial benefits from his guilt. You can cheat discreetly yourself -- if (and only if) you enjoy it (not for spite). You can realize it has nothing to do with you. He does it for his manhood, not against your womanhood.
Erica Jong (Fear of Fifty: A Midlife Memoir)
Gratitude opens the heart and infuses the mental, physical and emotional body with tenderness, patience and peace—and in time, even joy. In a state of gratitude, anger and bitterness fade away. But to reach this place from a place of loss and grief cannot be hurried. It takes the time it will take. A butterfly cannot be forced out of the cocoon. Through surrendering to the loss and grief, for as long as it takes these emotions to move through her, she will wake one morning to find she has wings. She is ready again, to take flight.
Meryn G. Callander (After His Affair: Women Rising from the Ashes of Infidelity)
When he was present she had no eyes for any one else. Every thing he did, was right. Every thing he said, was clever. If their evenings at the park were concluded with cards, he cheated himself and all the rest of the party to get her a good hand. If dancing formed the amusement of the night, they were partners for half the time; and when obliged to separate for a couple of dances, were careful to stand together and scarcely spoke a word to any body else. Such conduct made them of course most exceedingly laughed at; but ridicule could not shame, and seemed hardly to provoke them.
Jane Austen (Sense and Sensibility)
Is this a negative perspective? The stance of a victim? No, It is a statement of truth. The way it is for a woman who refuses to be cast aside without protest. Who has the courage to bare her face and her heart to the reality of her partner’s infidelity. Who will now accept and tolerate nothing but the truth. Will she falter? Will she hide? Will she feel she can’t go on? Of course she will. She is human. That is what is so real about her and what is so beautiful about her, even in her grief, and in her rage.
Meryn G. Callander (After His Affair: Women Rising from the Ashes of Infidelity)
A loyal partner will talk, not cheat.
Garima Soni - words world
If you think that your partner has been cheating, then take a look at their will. If a past lover is in there, then it is probable that some form of infidelity has occurred.
Steven Magee
I honestly believe that the biggest reason why men cheat on their partners/wives is sensual fatigue. Note, I didn't say sexual fatigue.
Lebo Grand
Cheating is pure hypocrisy. Our partner deserves better than that. If we don’t love someone, we should not be with them. That would also be hypocrisy.
Cathy Burnham Martin (The Bimbo Has Brains: And Other Freaky Facts)
Sex Games: What Men Really Think About Sex Partners (Sexuality, Cheating
Raphael Schwartz (Your Love Life: Women's Guide to How and Why Men Cheat and Play Games For Sex (Relationships Guide Booklets Book 1))
There is nothing worse than being in a relationship where you believe your partner is cheating, but you cannot prove it because the cheating happens out of sight!
Steven Magee
If you suspect your partner is cheating, they probably are.
Steven Magee
Pain of being loyal to a cheating partner
Gugu Mofokeng
Avoidants often use sex to distance themselves from their partner. It doesn’t necessarily mean they will cheat on their partner, although studies have shown that they are more likely to do so than other attachment types. Phillip Shaver, in a study with then University of California-Davis graduate student Dory Schachner, found that of the three styles, avoidants would more readily make a pass at someone else’s partner or respond to such a proposition. Intriguingly, they also found that avoidant men and women were more likely to engage in less sex if their partner had an anxious attachment style! Researchers believe that in relationships like Marsha and Craig’s, there is less lovemaking because the anxious partner wants a great deal of physical closeness and this in turn causes the avoidant partner to withdraw further. What better way to avoid intimacy than by reducing sex to a bare minimum.
Amir Levine (Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love)
Meet your partner. You think you’ve never seen them before, but you knew them. They were in your first breakup, your worst heartbreak, your old marriage, the honeymoon sex, in the alcohol swishes of finding out your spouse cheated, and in the times she leaned over the grass to kiss your cheek at picnics. Love was dancing in the same candidate who kissed you, the same nominee who hated you, and the plenty of people who tricked you. Love was dancing to the tango of your agreement to try. Love grows bigger and bigger, shaping itself more correctly to your happy heart.
Kristian Ventura (The Goodbye Song)
In my version neither story would get off the ground because all the spouses involved in both stories would honor their partners and remain faithful. Both ‘Patient’ and “Piano’ glorify and romanticize adultery; and that only works in fiction when it’s the female who’s cuckolding the male. If a story shows a man cheating on his wife… well, that’s never a cultural masterpiece, is it?
Chuck Palahniuk
God. Her husband was in love with another woman. This man she'd thought was her partner, her lover, her friend was really a stranger. For months he'd been lying, sneaking around behind her back…
C.J. Carmichael (The Fourth Child (Family Matters #3))
It is said that God loved His people so much that He went into a tremendous rage out of jealousy if they cheated with other Gods. So, who am I not to feel just a little bit of jealousy over my partner?
Mitta Xinindlu
Narcissists are also prone to something called projection, whereby they place their flaws and questionable behaviors on everyone else. Jealousy is often a great litmus test of whether or not your partner is actually the one cheating; if he starts accusing you of cheating out of the blue, you can bet the farm on the fact that if he is not already cheating, he is likely engaging in an inappropriate relationship.
Ramani Durvasula (Should I Stay or Should I Go?: Surviving a Relationship with a Narcissist)
In an ideal world, marriage vows would be entirely rewritten. At the alter, a couple would speak thus: "We accept not to panic when, some years from now, what we are doing today will seem like the worst decision of our lives. Yet we promise not to look around, either, for we accept that there cannot be better options out there. Everyone is always impossible. We are a demented species." After the solemn repetition of the last sentence by the congregation, the couple would continue: "We will endeavor to be faithful. At the same time, we are certain that never being allowed to sleep with anyone else is one of the tragedies of existence. We apologize that our jealousies have made this peculiar but sound and non-negotiable restriction very necessary. We promise to make each other the sole repository of our regrets rather than distribute them through a life of sexual Don Juanism. We have surveyed the different options for unhappiness, and it is to each other we have chosen to bind ourselves." Spouses who had been cheated upon would no longer be at liberty furiously to complain that they had expected their partner to be content with them alone. Instead they could more poignantly and justly cry, "I was relying on you to be loyal to the specific variety of compromise and unhappiness which our hard-won marriage represents." Thereafter, an affair would be a betrayal not of intimate joy but of a reciprocal pledge to endure the disappointments of marriage with bravery and stoic reserve.
Alain de Botton (The Course of Love)
The French are much more comfortable with the idea that their affair partner is just that—an affair partner,” writes Pamela Druckerman in her cross-cultural look at infidelity, Lust in Translation. Understanding that love and sex are different things, Druckerman says the French feel less need to “complain about their marriage to legitimize the affair in the first place.” But she found that Americans and British couples seemed to be reading from an entirely different script. “An affair, even a one-night stand, means a marriage is over,” Druckerman observed. “I spoke to women who, on discovering that their husbands had cheated, immediately packed a bag and left, because ‘that’s what you do.’ Not because that’s what they wanted to do—they just thought that was the rule. They didn’t even seem to realize there were other options…. I mean, really, like they’re reading from a script!
Christopher Ryan (Sex at Dawn: The Prehistoric Origins of Modern Sexuality)
So who was picking up the slack while the cheater was out chasing the butterflies of aliveness? Who was rocking babies, packing school lunches, and bringing home their paychecks? Who existed in the same less-than-stellar marriage and didn’t blow their boss? Chumps. Cheating takes time and resources away from the marriage—so, just by virtue of being there and not screwing around, chumps are usually the more invested partners. Not perfect partners, but committed ones.
Tracy Schorn (Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life: The Chump Lady's Survival Guide)
Designer relationships are based on egalitarianism and mutuality, not on proprietary thinking. From this perspective, if people decide they will have multiple partners, the approach is the antithesis of cheating. In the conventionally monogamous model, each party owns the other (a modern variation on the more antiquated view of woman as property). In designer relationships, each party voluntarily owes the other transparency, some measure of emotional loyalty, and a determination to abide by agreements.
Mark A. Michaels (Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships)
You cannot cheat on someone without gaslighting and lying to them, denying their reality, bit by bit, lie by lie. Stifling their suspicions, turning it back on them, and accusing them of being crazy and oversensitive. Infidelity subverts chumps’ sense of normalcy and makes them question the solidity of everything. Who knew? Why didn’t they tell me? Did my in-laws know? Have my friends welcomed the affair partner into their circle? Did my kids know? Were they introduced? Is every single fucking thing in my life polluted?
Tracy Schorn (Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life: The Chump Lady's Survival Guide)
When he was present she had no eyes for anyone else. Everything he did, was right. Everything he said, was clever. If their evenings at the park were concluded with cards, he cheated himself and all the rest of the party to get her a good hand. If dancing formed the amusement of the night, they were partners for half the time; and when obliged to separate for a couple of dances, were careful to stand together and scarcely spoke a word to anybody else. Such conduct made them of course most exceedingly laughed at; but ridicule could not shame, and seemed hardly to provoke them.
Jane Austen (Sense and Sensibility)
The problem here is that most people who get caught cheating apologize and give the 'It will never happen again' spiel and that's that, as if penises fell into various orifices completely by accident. Many cheatees accept this response at face value, and don't question the values and fucks given by their partner (pun totally intended); they don't ask themselves whether those values and fucks make their partner a good person to stay with. They're so concerned with holding on to their relationship that they fail to recognize that it's become a black hole consuming their self respect. If people cheat, it's because something other than the relationship is more important to them. It may be power over others. It may be validation through sex. It may be giving in to their own impulses. Whatever it is, it's clear that the cheater's values are not aligned in a way to support a healthy relationship. And if the cheater doesn't admit this or come to terms with it, if he just gives the old 'I don't know what I was thinking; I was stressed out and drunk and she was there' response, then he lacks the serious self-awareness necessary to solve any relationship problems.
Mark Manson (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life)
O] n average,” Brad Wilcox writes, with the data to back it up, “Americans who regularly attend services at a church, synagogue, temple or mosque are less likely to cheat on their partners; less likely to abuse them; more likely to enjoy happier marriages; and less likely to have been divorced.” 13
Timothy P. Carney (Alienated America: Why Some Places Thrive While Others Collapse)
Ian Taggart had his own baggage. “Li doesn’t have a partner. If you wanted to get paternity leave—god, I vomited a little—then you should have manned up and gotten your own girl. Adam won the battle fair and square. He gets to stay with the wife and rug rat.” “It wasn’t a fucking battle. It was rock, paper, scissors, damn it. I think Adam cheated.” Jacob Dean frowned
Lexi Blake (Dungeon Royale (Masters and Mercenaries #6))
I love McNab." Even as she turned toward Peabody, Eve could feel the muscle under her right eye vibrating toward a twitch. "Oh man. Do you have to do this?" "Yeah. I love McNab," Peabody repeated. "It took me a while to realize it, or get there, however it works. But he's the one. If you were to drop down dead, and Roarke decided I could comfort him with wild sex I probably wouldn't do it. Probably. But even if I did, I'd still love McNab." "At least I'm dead in your sexual fantasy." "It's only fair. I wouldn't cheat on my partner. So I probably wouldn't have sex with Roarke, should the opportunity arise, unless both you and McNab were killed in a freak accident." "Thanks, Peabody. I feel a lot better now." ''And we'd probably wait a decent interval. Like two weeks. If we could control ourselves." "It just gets better and better," Eve remarked. "In a way, we'd really be celebrating your lives, and our love for you both." "Maybe you're the ones who die in a freak accident," Eve tossed back. "Then me and McNab... No, Jesus. No." She visibly shuddered. "I don't love you that much." "Aw, that's not very nice. Too bad for you, because McNab's an airjack in the sack." "Shut up now. Save yourself.
J.D. Robb
I think most people are wired to be monogamous for short periods at a time. The partner who is right for me at age twenty is not the partner who is necessarily right for me at age thirty, and so on. I think from my experiences, that about 20 percent of people are truly monogamous. By that I mean, when they're in love, they truly don't want or need anybody else. For them, monogamy is not a strain at all. Twenty percent of people are polyamorous or swinger types. They'll never be monogamous and don't want to be. The remain 60% of the population are stuck somewhere on a spectrum between happy monogamy and nonhappy monogamy. Some of because thats the vow they took and they're basically okay with it, and they don't want to be liars or cheaters. Some are actively angry about it and pick fights. Some are unhappy with it and, while they don't cheat, they do withdraw emotionally from their partners, giving themselves the worst of both worlds. Some are actively cheating but won't leave the marriage. Some people would be happy at home if they could get a little "strange" a few times a year and not have it be a big deal. They don't want o lose all they've built with their mates but just want a taste of something different.
Nina Hartley
It seems to sanction all sorts of actions they would not otherwise have dared. I do not mean solely, or chiefly, acts that violate chastity. They are just as likely to be acts of injustice or uncharity against the outer world. The pair can say to one another in an almost sacrificial spirit, "It is for love's sake that I have neglected my parents - left my children - cheated my partner - failed my friend at his greatest need.
C.S. Lewis (The Four Loves)
If I cheated on my spouse or partner, and they made the choice to stay with me regardless, I would leave that person. I will never be perceived as someone who needs a nice warm bath to come home to after rolling around outside in the grass; a coddled person, an infantile person, a person who's choices are perceived as the mistakes of a toddler, only needing to be slapped on the hand and then coddled. That would kill the relationship for me, that would kill everything. I'm not an inconsequential flower, I'm not a purified version washed down to be palatable; I am an equal. My mistakes should be treated as mistakes. I don't need forgiveness for anything that I do. I'm not an inconsequential flower, I'm not a purified version washed down to be palatable; I am an equal. My mistakes should be treated as mistakes. I don't need forgiveness for anything that I do.
C. JoyBell C.
If you’re the person who had to file for divorce, don’t accept the Bad Guy status your kids and your cheating ex may try to inflict on you. Chumps are often people pleasers who don’t want to let anyone down (despite being grievously let down themselves). Please don’t assume responsibility for your partner’s cheating. Divorce is a consequence. You break the rules, you pay the consequences. Even a fourth-grader understands that. Although it’s terrifically sad that they ever have to.
Tracy Schorn (Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life: The Chump Lady's Survival Guide)
Many bisexuals might indeed feel comfortable and well represented by [creating images of 'stable, monogamous, appropriately sexual' bisexuals], but what of the many people who don't fit in this standard of the "normal" or "good" bisexual? Some bisexuals are sluts (read: sexually independent women), some bisexuals are just experimenting, some like people of certain genders only sexually and not romantically, some like to have threesomes and perform bisexuality for men, some are HVI and STI carriers, some don't practice safer sex, some are indeed indecisive and confused, some cheat on their partners, some do choose to be bi, as well as many other things that the "myth-busting" [or simplifying/sanitizing] tries to cast off. A very long list of people is being thrown overboard in the effort to "fight biphobia." In this way, the rebuttal in fact imposes biphobic normative standards on the bisexual community itself, drawing a line between "good" and "bad" bisexuals. Either way, benign docility and unthreatening citizenship are not exactly what I would want my bisexuality to be associated with.
Shiri Eisner (Bi: Notes for a Bisexual Revolution)
Diego Gambetta, however, presents an elegant economic theory of the Mafia’s origins: mafiosi are private entrepreneurs whose function is to provide protection of individual property rights in a society in which the state fails to perform this basic service. That is, if one party to a private transaction is cheated by the other, he would normally take his partner to court in a well-ordered rule-of-law society. But where the state is corrupt, unreliable, or perhaps altogether absent, one must turn instead to a private provider of protection and task him to threaten to break the legs of the other party if he doesn’t pay up. By this account, the Mafia is simply a private organization providing a needed service that is normally performed by the state—that is, use of the threat of violence (and sometimes actual violence) to enforce property rights. Gambetta shows that the Mafia arose precisely in those parts of southern Italy where there was economic conflict over land, mobile wealth and a high volume of transactions, and political discord in connection with the changes taking place in the nature of the Italian state after 1860.
Francis Fukuyama (Political Order and Political Decay: From the Industrial Revolution to the Globalization of Democracy)
Part 2 Etienne: I cheated on her every day. In my mind, I thought of you in ways I shouldn’t have, again and again. She was nothing compared to you. I’ve never felt this way about anybody before… Anna: But… Etienne: The first day of school. We weren’t physics partners by accident. I saw Professeur Wakefield assigning lab parnters based on where people were sitting, so I leaned forward to borrow a pencil form you at just the right moment so he’dt think we were next to each other. Anna, I wanted to be your partner the first day. Anna: But … Etienne: I bought you love poetry! „I love you as certain dark things are loved, secretly, between the shadow and the soul.“ Neruda. I starred the pasasge. God. Why didn’t you open it? Anna: Because you said it was for school Etienne: I said you were beautiful. I slept in your bed! Anna: You never made a move! You had a girlfriend! Etienne: No matter what a terrible boyfriend I was, I wouldn’t actually cheat on her. But I thought you’d know. With me being there, I thought you’d know. Anna: How could I know if you never said anything? Etienne: How could I know if you never said anything? Anna: You had Ellie! Etienne: You had Toph! And Dave! Anna. I’m sorry for what happened in Luxembourg Gardens. Not because of the kiss – I’ve never had a kiss like that in my life – but because I didn’t tell you why I was running away. I chased after Meredith because of you. All I could think about was what that bastard did to you last Christmas. Toph never tired to explain or apologize. How could I do that to Mer? And I ought to have called you before I went to Ellie’s, but I was so anxious to just end it, once and for all, that i wasn’t thinking straight.
Stephanie Perkins (Anna and the French Kiss (Anna and the French Kiss, #1))
A DOZEN PHALLACIES WOMEN BUY Phallacy 1. If he loves me, he'll be faithful forever. Truth His loving you has nothing to do with his being faithful. Some men are monogamous. Most aren't. The sexy ones usually aren't. Monogamy lasts three, days, three weeks, three months, or at best three years with most men. Often it lasts just about long enough to get you pregnant. Nature has a reason for this. Men are programmed to spread their seed as widely as possible and women to raise live, healthy babies. Human babies take a long time to grow up to self-sufficiency.... Some few paragons of maleness are faithful. Most others cheat. The question is: can you stand it? If the cheating is not blatant and disrespectful and you get a lot out of the relationship in other ways (a friend, a lover, a father to your kids, an economic partner), then consider these alternatives: you can accept his cheating gracefully, and at the same time extract emotional and financial benefits from his guilt. You can cheat discreetly yourself -- if (and only if) you enjoy it (not for spite). You can realize it has nothing to do with you. He does it for his manhood, not against your womanhood
Erica Jong (Fear of Fifty: A Midlife Memoir)
Melancholy isn’t, of course, a disorder that needs to be cured. It’s a species of intelligent grief which arises when we come face to face with the certainty that disappointment is written into the script from the start. We have not been singled out. Marrying anyone, even the most suitable of beings, comes down to a case of identifying which variety of suffering we would most like to sacrifice ourselves for. In an ideal world, marriage vows would be entirely rewritten. At the altar, a couple would speak thus: “We accept not to panic when, some years from now, what we are doing today will seem like the worst decision of our lives. Yet we promise not to look around, either, for we accept that there cannot be better options out there. Everyone is always impossible. We are a demented species.” After the solemn repetition of the last sentence by the congregation, the couple would continue: “We will endeavor to be faithful. At the same time, we are certain that never being allowed to sleep with anyone else is one of the tragedies of existence. We apologize that our jealousies have made this peculiar but sound and non-negotiable restriction very necessary. We promise to make each other the sole repository of our regrets rather than distribute them through a life of sexual Don Juanism. We have surveyed the different options for unhappiness, and it is to each other we have chosen to bind ourselves.” Spouses who had been cheated upon would no longer be at liberty furiously to complain that they had expected their partner to be content with them alone. Instead they could more poignantly and justly cry, “I was relying on you to be loyal to the specific variety of compromise and unhappiness which our hard-won marriage represents.” Thereafter, an affair would be a betrayal not of intimate joy but of a reciprocal pledge to endure the disappointments of marriage with bravery and stoic reserve.
Alain de Botton (The Course of Love)
When people having their brain scanned watched the hand of another person being mildly shocked, the pain areas in their own brain lit up, showing that they shared the other’s pain. This is typical of empathy. But it happened only if the partner was someone likable, with whom the subject had played a friendly game before the scanning session. On the other hand, if the partner had played unfairly against them before the session, the subjects felt cheated, and seeing the other in pain had less of an effect. The door to empathy had shut. For the women, it was still partially open—they still showed mild empathy. But for the men it closed completely—in fact, seeing the unfair player getting shocked activated the pleasure centers in men’s brains. They had moved from empathy to justice and welcomed the punishment of the other.
Frans de Waal (Mama's Last Hug: Animal Emotions and What They Tell Us about Ourselves)
Living with audacity isn’t just about strength. I’ve learned that there’s bravery in being vulnerable, too. In the past, I’ve run from challenges, withdrawn from loved ones and cheated on partners, all because I didn’t have the courage I needed to face tough situations properly. Accepting who I used to be, admitting I was wrong and apologising for the mistakes I’ve made hasn’t been easy, but you’ve got to forgive yourself and fix up if you want to move forward. I love the wild child who still exists in my stand-up and is woven through my writing. I tried to kill her a hundred thousand times before accepting that the angry-baby-musical-theatre-kid-weirdo is not only an inescapable part of who I am, but that it’s maybe the best part. She’s certainly got the most unique tools and is probably the entire reason I’ve been able to pursue this incredible life authentically. Having
Katherine Ryan (The Audacity)
Don’t cry Meg. It’s not that bad.” “It’s not that bad? Ha! I’m thirty years old, with two black eyes, a swollen nose, a big, honking, yellow knot on my forehead, and the haircut from hell. As if that isn’t enough, I had a transvestite in my bed this morning, my husband is a lying, cheating, cradle robbing, bastard, who at some point slept with my best friend.” Jack scooted over to the middle of the seat, and stopped listening to his head and wrapped his arms around her. Big mistake! From inside, four faces were pressed to the window. “My last orgasm-with a partner- was…hell I can’t remember when! I frequently knock myself out for entertainment purposes, I have little boobs, big feet, squishy panties, nosy neighbors and demon possessed fish. God hates me!” Jack held her tighter. “I have frequent flyer miles at the hospital. I fed my husband marijuana Ex-lax brownies and shoved a marble up his butt.” Jack pulled away to look at her and she was serious. And crying. Big, sad, alligator tears that made his heart swell. “My mother is a holy rolling, Catholic Dr. Ruth, complete with condoms and Rosary beads. I write about relationships and sex, both of which I suck at and I hired a Private Investigator to pimp me out.” Jack burst out laughing and she pushed him away and swatted his shoulder. “And now you’re laughing at me. Could things get any worse?
Amy Johnson
When asked about the difficulties of sculpture, Michelangelo said, “It is easy. You just chip away all the stone that isn’t David.” It’s simple to cut things out of a life. You break up with a shitty partner, quit eating bread, delete the Twitter app. You cut it out, and the shape of what’s actually killing you clarifies a little. The whole Abrahamic world invests itself in this promise: Don’t lie, don’t cheat, don’t fuck or steal or kill, and you’ll be a good person. Eight of the ten commandments are about what thou shalt not. But you can live a whole life not doing any of that stuff and still avoid doing any good. That’s the whole crisis. The rot at the root of everything. The belief that goodness is built on a constructed absence, not-doing. That belief corrupts everything, has everyone with any power sitting on their hands. A rich man goes a whole day without killing a single homeless person and so goes to sleep content in his goodness. In another world, he’s buying crates of socks and Clif bars and tents, distributing them in city centers. But for him, abstinence reigns. I want to be the chisel, not the David. What can I make of being here? And what can I make of not? Normal people think of recovery as a kind of abstinence: they imagine us sitting around white-knuckled, sweating as we count our hours trying desperately to distract ourselves enough to not relapse. This is because for normal people, drinking is an activity, like brushing their teeth or watching TV. They can reasonably imagine excising drinking, like any other activity, without collapsing their entire person. For a drunk, there’s nothing but drink. There was nothing in my life that wasn’t predicated on getting drunk—either getting fucked up itself or getting money to get fucked up by working or slinging this drug for that drug or that drug for cash. Getting sober means having to figure out how to spend twenty-four hours a day. It means building an entirely new personality, learning how to move your face, your fingers. It meant learning how to eat, how to speak among people and walk and fuck and worse than any of that, learning how to just sit still. You’re moving into a house the last tenants trashed. You spend all your time ripping up the piss-carpet, filling in the holes in the wall, and you also somehow have to remember to feed yourself and make rent and not punch every person who talks to you in the face. There’s no abstinence in it. There’s no self-will. It’s a chisel. It’s surrender to the chisel. Of course you don’t hope to come out a David. It’s miracle enough to emerge still standing on two feet. —from BOOKOFMARTYRS.docx by Cyrus Shams
Kaveh Akbar (Martyr!)
They are also very prone to thinking that their partners are unfaithful or otherwise taking advantage of them (again, ironic, since they are far more likely to be the cheater and not the one who is being cheated on).
Ramani S. Durvasula ("Don't You Know Who I Am?": How to Stay Sane in an Era of Narcissism, Entitlement, and Incivility)
Some people in committed relationships find themselves straying not because they don’t love their partner anymore, but because they are seeking new paradigms to play in.
Lebo Grand
I would just separate if I was not happy and could not fix things in my relationship. The knowledge that I was secretly cheating on my home partner does not sit well with me.
Steven Magee
That doesn’t mean it’s cool to cheat on your partner because they won’t agree to threesomes or to get yourself off looking at internet porn at the expense of sex with your spouse because you claim they don’t satisfy your superficial sexual “needs.” Nor does it mean it’s suddenly cool to have an affair with Heidi from work or Brad from the gym because the attention they provide strokes your lovey-dovey, feel-good emotional needs. But it DOES mean that we should all be super-intentional about discovering our partner’s needs (not what WE think they are, but what THEY know they are) and commit to helping them achieve their personal five levels of the human-needs pyramid and become their best-possible selves. Either that or communicate honestly and clearly that we are unwilling to so that they can then pursue a life without us deliberately holding them down. Not supporting our partner’s pursuit of living their best life does not justify them betraying or abusing us. But does it justify them choosing a life in which we are no longer the obstacle in their way because we are unwilling or unable to move?
Matthew Fray (This Is How Your Marriage Ends: A Hopeful Approach to Saving Relationships)
Then Connor saw it. He had to read it three times to make sure he was getting it right. He wheeled over to Jade and handed her the nurses’ notes for the visit. “Parks, this is from over a year ago.” He pointed to the section that had caught his eye. “Yeah, but it is a pretty good indicator that things weren’t ‘fine’ in the Holloway household.” Jade read it quickly. “I would not have pegged her schlub of a husband for a cheater.” “Me either,” Connor agreed. Leah had asked to be tested for every STD known to man. Husband had unprotected sex with unknown partner. “All her tests came back negative,” Connor said. “So he didn’t give her anything.” “Because he wasn’t the one having an affair,” Jade said. “That’s what I’m thinking,” Connor said. “I can’t see Jim Holloway carrying on an affair. I can see Leah throwing him under the bus, though. Image was everything to her. No way would she want to admit that she was the one cheating.” “Still,” Jade said, chewing the tip of her pen. “Imagine what it would have taken for someone so worried about projecting the perfect image to have to tell a lie like that, then undergo all those invasive tests. It must have been so humiliating.” “A month later, she’s pregnant.
Lisa Regan (Losing Leah Holloway (Claire Fletcher, #2))
Things you can not conveniently do the presence of your spouses and you do them, it is cheating.
Victor Vote (Keeping Spirituality)
He/She Is Always “Working” Is he usually late? Does he/she always say that they are at the office and working on something important? It could be their new object of affection… just saying. When a partner cheats, they will try their best to minimize their contact with their spouses and use excuses to stay out of the house. They just feel a little guilty when they are with you, but boy does that stop them from cheating? Certainly not! Every Time You Confront Him/Her, They Call You Crazy Even if in just some casual banter, you bring up the topic of cheating, they start to act all weird and call you crazy for even thinking like that. No one likes to be caught red-handed and a cheater will always say they haven’t cheated. So take the hint if they act too surprised on the idea that you called them a cheater.
Rachael Chapman (Healthy Relationships: Overcome Anxiety, Couple Conflicts, Insecurity and Depression without therapy. Stop Jealousy and Negative Thinking. Learn how to have a Happy Relationship with anyone.)
He/She Stays Up Late A sudden shift in their bedtime routine indicates an affair. Cheating partners consider a partner’s sleeping time as the safest to text or message their new love interest. His/Her Stories Seem Inconsistent Sometimes they won’t say a word about where they were and sometimes they would give away too much. When asked if a friend was there with them too, they will not only confirm their presence but also tell you about all the other people who were there, including someone’s pets. Too much information is another sign that there is something fishy going on or else they won’t be this particular about it.
Rachael Chapman (Healthy Relationships: Overcome Anxiety, Couple Conflicts, Insecurity and Depression without therapy. Stop Jealousy and Negative Thinking. Learn how to have a Happy Relationship with anyone.)
If I cheated on my spouse or partner, and they made the choice to stay with me regardless, I would leave that person. I will never be perceived as someone who needs a nice warm bath to come home to after rolling around outside in the grass; a coddled person, an infantile person, a person who's choices are perceived as the mistakes of a toddler, only needing to be slapped on the hand and then coddled. That would kill the relationship for me, that would kill everything. I'm not an inconsequential flower, I'm not a purified version washed down to be palatable; I am an equal. My mistakes should be treated as mistakes. I don't need forgiveness for anything that I do.
C. JoyBell C.
When he was present she had no eyes for anyone else. Everything he did was right. Everything he said was clever. If their evenings at the Park were concluded with cards, he cheated himself and all the rest of the party to get her a good hand. If dancing formed the amusement of the night, they were partners for half the time; and when obliged to separate for a couple of dances, were careful to stand together, and scarcely spoke a word to anybody else. Such conduct made them, of course, most exceedingly laughed at; but ridicule could not shame, and seemed hardly to provoke them.
Jane Austen (Sense & Sensibility)
When a man gets serious about changing he has to be willing to look at the choices he is making every day, from the most trivial to the most significant. He has to accept that no one and nothing other than him is determining what he does. If he backslides into drinking, if he returns to abusive behavior, if he cheats on his partner, it's because that's what he decided to do. In short: His change depends on his willingness to accept complete responsibility for his own actions. He has to stop blaming them on you, on his addic tion, on his childhood, or on anything else.
Lundy Bancroft (The Joyous Recovery: A New Approach to Emotional Healing and Wellness)
It was a strange thing, really, seeing my boyfriend's naked ass thrusting between widespread thighs. Was that what he looked like when he was on top of me? Because I had to say he appeared rather ridiculous, pumping away like an unhinged bunny. Then again, I'd never liked that particular method of his; I'd rarely orgasmed when pounded like a piece of meat. His partner, however, didn't seem to have that problem. Either she was faking it, or she loved it. But her rather enthusiastic squeaks of delight cut short as she caught sight of me, and all the color drained from her face. Sadly, it took Greg a bit longer to realize she'd frozen beneath him; Greg always was a bit of a selfish lover. When he finally noticed, he was as smooth as ever, observing me from over his sweaty shoulder without making a move to get off the woman. Silence fell like a hammer. Or maybe an ax. Why not? An ax could sever more than one thing today. Greg swallowed twice, his gaze darting over me, like he couldn't quite believe I was there. In my own home. His voice was somewhat shaky when he finally spoke. "You're early." So many things to say. Scream, maybe? Cry? But I was numb. Completely numb. So I said the only thing I could. "Funny, I think I arrived just in time.
Kristen Callihan (Make It Sweet)
COUPLES HAVING BARIATRIC SURGERY TOGETHER It happens more and more often: Two people will have bariatric surgery together. It is difficult being the patient. It can also be trying for the significant other. When couples have the surgery together, it can be twice as hard. Each person has the problems of both the patient and the significant other. I have found that people in healthy relationships do well together, but those having problems often see increased relationship difficulties after surgery. If you plan to have the surgery with a partner, try to remain independent as far as exercise and food choices. Working out together is a bonus, but do not get into the habit of skipping workouts because your partner cannot participate. Do not let your partner be in charge of your habits. Good communication is the key to a couple’s success. Before the surgery, discuss the logistics of the changes you must make. After the surgery, talk to each other weekly about your feelings regarding the surgery and the changes you are both experiencing. It is possible to grow much closer as a couple as a result of this experience. There will be a tendency to talk each other into tiny cheats. Typically, this is how it works: “C’mon, let’s just have a little bit. We deserve it.” Having the surgery together represents some increased challenges, but has the potential for increased excitement and support. Keep communication flowing and problems will be minimized.
Cynthia L. Alexander (The Emotional First Aid Kit: A Practical Guide to Life After Bariatric Surgery)
Have you heard,’ interrupted Gallardine, ‘of what happens to those caught cheating at his tower, Master de Ferra? He collects their hands, and then he drops their bodies onto a stone courtyard and bills their families or business partners to have the remains cleaned up. And what about the last man who started a fight inside the Sinspire, and drew blood? Requin had him tied to a table. His kneecaps were cut out by a dog-leech and red ants were poured into the wounds. The kneecaps were lashed back down with twine. That man begged to have his throat slit. His request was not granted.
Scott Lynch (Red Seas Under Red Skies (Gentleman Bastard, #2))
Trust is the most important ingredient in any relationship, for the simple reason that without trust, the relationship doesn’t actually mean anything. A person could tell you that she loves you, wants to be with you, would give up everything for you, but if you don’t trust her, you get no benefit from those statements. You don’t feel loved until you trust that the love being expressed toward you comes without any special conditions or baggage attached to it. This is what’s so destructive about cheating. It’s not about the sex. It’s about the trust that has been destroyed as a result of the sex. Without trust, the relationship can no longer function. So it’s either rebuild the trust or say your goodbyes. The problem here is that most people who get caught cheating apologize and give the “It will never happen again” spiel and that’s that, as if penises fell into various orifices completely by accident. Many cheatees accept this response at face value, and don’t question the values and fucks given by their partner (pun totally intended); they don’t ask themselves whether those values and fucks make their partner a good person to stay with. They’re so concerned with holding on to their relationship that they fail to recognize that it’s become a black hole consuming their self-respect.
Mark Manson (The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck Journal)
Usually for women, affairs are more emotional. It’s about establishing connection. Men often view affairs as more physical, but due to ego, they have a harder time accepting their partner’s infidelity. It can make them feel weak and powerless. A man will almost never stay with a woman after she cheats, but a woman will often try to work it out in reverse situations
Cara Reinard (Into the Sound)
Gone are those days when love bites were given by partners to express excitement / pleasure. Now love bites are Strategically Planted so that they get noticed by the one with whom your Woman/Man is making out while cheating on you hahaha Used as “Beware” already sleeping with someone, recently fucked passionately hahaha
honeya
You know what is a better response to an attack or a slight or something you don’t like? Love. That’s right, love. For the neighbor who won’t turn down the music. For the parent that let you down. For the bureaucrat who lost your paperwork. For the group that rejects you. For the critic who attacks you. The former partner who stole your business idea. The bitch or the bastard who cheated on you. Love.
Ryan Holiday (Ego Is the Enemy)
These days the only way to experience joy was through chemistry. It was necessary first to unplug from the Connectivity and then, as the world faded away, to put euphoria into your mouth and suck on it. This was the lover who never disappointed you, the friend who never failed you, the partner who never cheated on you, the government that never lied. This alone was dependable, loyal, honest, and true.
Salman Rushdie (Quichotte)
People who have a strong need for approval and have sexual desire, affection, and connection for a partner may cheat. Furthermore, their desire for acceptance might induce individuals to behave in ways that contradict their other emotions. In other words, some individuals cheat not because they want to cheat, but because they need the approval that comes with being seen by others.
Margaret Morton (REBUILDING TRUST AFTER A BETRAYAL: OVERCOMING INFIDELITY AND REBUILDING YOUR RELATIONSHIP AFTER A BETRAYAL)
Sometimes we cheat, subconsciously wanting to get caught and hoping our partner will be the one to end it so we don’t have to. Sometimes it’s just a clumsy attempt to start a new story before we’ve finished the one we’re currently on.
Kate Rose (You Only Fall in Love Three Times: The Secret Search for Our Twin Flame)
Poly Intimates: I’ve started to use this term for people who are sexually exclusive with one partner, but who are not emotionally exclusive with that partner in ways that a traditional monogamous relationship would typically disallow, be suspicious of or characterize as emotional cheating. Poly intimates might share varying degrees of romance and emotional intimacy with more than just the person they are sexually exclusive with. Poly intimates might be nonsexual partners who live together, travel together, raise children together or share other aspects of life, where the level of investment and involvement does not fit the conventional notion of friendship.
Jessica Fern (Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy)
About 57 percent would like to know whether their partner or spouse ever cheats on them. Only 42 percent would like to know what their friends and family members really think about them!
Cass R. Sunstein (Decisions about Decisions: Practical Reason in Ordinary Life)
We trust people to be good and decent. We trust our food, our drinks, to be safe. We trust our friends, our family, our partners, to have our backs and do the right thing. Honor their word. And we should not. People are selfish. They will lie and cheat if they think they can get away with it, if they think it will gain them fortune and fame. These traits are inherited and taught, passed down from generation to generation, a family tree of deceit and lies.
Tara Laskowski (The Weekend Retreat)
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Long distance relationships, bringing back lost love
They say you date at the level of your self esteem. Your relationship is a reflection of you. If your partner is lying, cheating, or hurting you, it is what you are allowing. What we allow will continue. You must hold yourself higher than that. The truth is love is an action. It’s not what you say, but what you do, that shows love. If their actions are not loving, then they don’t love you. If you stay, allowing it to continue, then really you don’t love yourself. Your action to stay in an unhealthy relationship is telling you that you don’t love yourself enough to do what’s best for you.
Corey Gladwell (What If No One Is Coming To Save You: And 67 Other Questions That Will Shatter Your Perceptions and Change The Way You Live Your Life)
Avoidants often use sex to distance themselves from their partner. It doesn’t necessarily mean they will cheat on their partner, although studies have shown that they are more likely to do so than other attachment types. Phillip Shaver, in a study with then University of California-Davis graduate student Dory Schachner, found that of the three styles, avoidants would more readily make a pass at someone else’s partner or respond to such a proposition.
Amir Levine (Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love)
In studying your basic metabolism, we first listen to your heart's beat, and if your hearts beat any thing but diamonds and clubs, it's because your partner is cheating, or your wife.
Groucho Marx