Part Of Your World Abby Jimenez Quotes

Grace costs you nothing

In a world where you can choose anger or empathy, always choose empathy,

You're not asking too much," he said. "You were just asking the wrong person. Ask me instead.

You are not what happened to you. You are what you do next.

Sometimes the best way to show love or be kind to someone is to meet them where they are.

We’re all a little broken, Briana. We are a mosaic. We’re made up of all those we’ve met and all the things we’ve been through. There are parts of us that are colorful and dark and jagged and beautiful. And I love every piece of you. Even the ones you wish didn’t exist.

Love follows you. It goes where you go. It doesn’t know about social divides or distance or common sense. It doesn’t even stop when the person you love dies. It does what it wants.

There’s something more final than forever. It’s never. Never is infinite.

Maybe home isn’t a place. Maybe it’s a person.

I always think that when we’re quiet, we’re agreeing to be harmless to each other. That we’re just sharing the same space and letting each other exist exactly as we are, and neither of us would hurt or upset the other one.

Not everything that comes out of crisis is bad. Sometimes your traumas are the reason you know how to help.

It’s like I always say,” Mom said, wiping under her eyes. “Love shows up. That’s how you know when it’s real.

It’s amazing how someone can touch you, even if you only know them for a moment in time. How they can change you, alter you indelibly.

Look at that mantrum. Eight thousand nerves in the clitoris and still not as sensitive as a white man not getting his way.

I’m sorry someone made you feel like it’s hard to love you,’ she said.

Have you ever heard the saying that if you’re with someone who doesn’t speak your language, you’ll spend a lifetime having to translate your soul?

I had to remember that not everyone over-thought everything the way I did. Wouldn’t it be amazing to live like that? To not carry that burden around with you. To not feel constantly overwhelmed and overstimulated and second-guess every little thing.

Be glad you don’t get it. It means your life has been a lot gentler than hers.

Sometimes family isn't what you're born into. Sometimes family is found.

What are you thinking?” I asked. He didn’t answer for a long moment. When he did, he did it with his eyes closed. “All I ever think about is you.

The love stories sold us the wrong thing. The best kind of love doesn’t happen on moonlit walks and romantic vacations. It happens in between the folds of everyday life. It’s not grand gestures that show how you feel, it’s all the little secret things you do to make her life better that you never tell her about. Taking the end piece of the bread at breakfast so she can have the last middle piece for her sandwich when you pack her lunch. Making sure her car always has gas so she never has to stop at the pump. Telling her you’re not cold and to take your jacket when you are in fact, very, very cold. It’s watching TV on a rainy Sunday while you’re doing laundry and turning her light off when she’s fallen asleep reading. Sharing pizza crusts and laughing about something the kids did and taking care of each other when you’re sick. It isn’t glamorous, it isn’t all butterflies and stars in your eyes. It’s real. This is the kind of love that forever is made of. Because if it’s this good when life is draining and mundane and hard, think of how wonderful it will be when the love songs are playing and the moon is out.

When you don't care, everything's on your terms. They can take it or leave it. It doesn't matter to you, so ask for whatever the hell you want.

Unhealed trauma is a crack. And all the little hard things that trickle into it that would have rolled off someone else, settle. Then when life gets cold, that crack gets bigger, longer, deeper. It makes new breaks. You don’t know how broken she was or what she was trying to do to fill those cracks. Being broken is not an excuse for bad behavior, you still have to make good choices and do the right thing. But it can be the reason. And sometimes understanding the reason can be what helps you heal.

Just keep her laughing,” Doug said. “When a woman laughs, her eyes are closed more. She won’t notice how ugly you are.

Love me. Just love me instead. I’d take care of you. I’d protect you and shield you and be anything you needed. I’d be harmless to you…

But remember, you can’t spell disappointment without men,

Jacob made me feel safe. He was like a living lullaby. A softly spoken word. The smell of coffee and toast in the morning or a cozy fleece blanket. The rain pattering on the roof on a day where you don’t have to go anywhere or do anything.

To me, love meant you stayed. But now I understood that love sometimes means you let someone go.

Have you ever heard the saying that if you’re with someone who doesn’t speak your language, you’ll spend a lifetime having to translate your soul? Amy never spoke your language. […] Briana’s different. She understands you, even when you don’t say anything at all.

The only problem with anger is that it burns hot and fast. It doesn’t tend to burn long. Sadness burns long. Grief. Disappointment.

It was just the two of us, alone together, showing up. Because that’s what love does. It shows up.

I know it hurts, but just think, now you know what it feels like for a man with a cold

The best kind of love doesn’t happen on moonlit walks and romantic vacations. It happens in between the folds of everyday life. It’s not grand gestures that show how you feel, it’s all the little secret things you do to make her life better that you never tell her about.

I'd follow a clown into a storm drain if he had a baby goat in pajamas.

if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it’s stupid?

I swear to God this guy is the epitome of If He Wanted To He Would.

I’m beginning to think men are not sending us their best people.

Sometimes I feel like the seasons could come and go and come and go, a hundred years could pass, a thousand, the ground could collapse under us, this house could crumble and go back to the earth, and we would still be standing here frozen in time, because every second I’m with you is eternal. I’ve never felt anything like it.

It’s funny how when you find someone you like as much as I liked her, the destination is suddenly wherever they are. Even if there’s someplace better, you wouldn’t go if they couldn’t come.

I do love Trader Joe’s,” I said, smiling at the bag. “Nothing like a grocery store that makes you have to visit another grocery store right after.

There’s a special peace in sleeping next to someone you love.

I’ve been waiting my whole life to feel like this and I thought it was a curse that nobody else ever worked out. But it wasn’t. It’s just that they weren’t you.

Choosing a life without them doesn’t mean you stop caring about them. It just means that you can’t allow them to harm you anymore. But if you don’t think your life would be better without them in it, then accept that they have cracks. Try to understand how they got them and help fill them with something that isn’t ice.” She peered at me. “If you can choose anger or empathy, always choose empathy, Justin. It’s so much healthier than anger.

Ali, men are two things. Disappointing and consistent. I believe you.

I know all of your quiets. I know when you’re alone with me and you’re quiet, it’s because your brain is still. And when you’re in public and you’re quiet, it’s because your brain is loud. But I don’t know this one. What’s this one?

Well, you don't steal a hoodie and not wear it. Otherwise it's just another senseless crime.

Because when you’re in love, you do hard things.

He’s gone, Justin. May God rest his soul.” I blinked at her. “Your boyfriend died?” “He’s dead to me.

Jacob was who he said he was. All the time. And to me, men were never who they said they were. But this one, by all accounts, sort of was. And it scared the absolute shit out of me.

I love you,” he whispered. “We are together. This isn’t over. And even if you leave, it won’t be over because you’ll take the love with you and it’ll bring you back.

Eight thousand nerves in the clitoris and still not as sensitive as a white man not getting his way.

Un hombre que puede mantener viva una planta tiene la paciencia de aguantar tus mierdas. It means ‘A man who can keep a plant alive has the patience to put up with your shit.

This was me making space for her, even though she would never know it. My way of saying thank you for her friendship, even if it was too quiet to hear.

You and me? We're different. We agree to be harmless to each other.

This is the thing nobody tells you about The One. How they’re timeless. How the moment they pop up again you’re right back in it, right where you left off.

Sometimes what you have to give is enough. Even if it’s a rock instead of a diamond.

My whole life I’d always felt a little fractured and scattered. Probably because it was always someone else trying to decide what I needed to be. I was a mosaic of someone else’s design where none of the fragments were put in the right place. And now I had finally put myself together and I recognized myself for the very first time.

I refuse to have sex with someone who doesn’t have a headboard. I’m not that desperate—yet. My vagina has officially been closed for so long I’m afraid a Spirit Halloween is going to move in.

The moment Emma came into view, my entire world slipped into slow motion. My brain took a screenshot. I felt the moment freeze and save. She was beautiful.

When she left, the only proof I ever had that she’d been here, or that she even existed at all, was the ache I was starting to feel when she was gone.

Nothing could convince me this woman wasn’t made for me to love. I think my soul recognized hers the second I laid eyes on her.

Have you ever heard of penguin love stones?” “What?” “A penguin love stone. When a male likes a female, he finds a perfect stone and he brings it to her. If she likes it, she puts it in her nest and that’s it. They’re paired for life.” Brian watched Liz taking an order at another table but talked to us. “And your point?” “My point is, the penguin’s not picking her mate because he’s the one who has the best rock. It might look that way, but she’s not. She’s taking the rock because the male she wants the most is offering it. Sometimes what you have to give is enough. Even if it’s a rock instead of a diamond.

I was so sick and tired of platitudes. God has a plan. Everything happens for a reason. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. No, it doesn’t, and fuck all of it.

I'm not an asshole. It's my favorite thing about myself.

This isn’t your life, Bri. This is just a shitty chapter in your story.

The best kind of love doesn't happen on moonlit walks and romantic vacations. It happens in between the folds of everyday life.

And just so you know, there is no greater show of love than someone bringing you food without being told.

I knew from experience that sometimes when the wake-up call is big enough, you do, in fact, wake up.

If you're with someone who doesn't speak your language, you'll spend a lifetime translating your soul.

You’re not asking too much,” he said. “You were just asking the wrong person. Ask me instead.

This is what it feels like to be truly loved. I’ve never felt it before. And I didn’t even realize it until just now.

-and I got my period. I get to bleed for a week without the sweet release of death.

Sometimes the hardest thing isn't trusting the next person. It's trusting yourself

I didn’t usually watch new shows. I just rewatched the same ones over and over. I liked the familiarity, the predictability. If I rewatched a show, there were never any surprises. No emotional jump scares. I didn’t have to process new feelings or stress over cliffhangers. I knew where it was going and how it would end.

...well, we're all strong-ass women until a smoke alarm starts chirping at three an.m. on a high ceiling and there's no one to hit it with a broom but you.

Justin was on the island. Not the real one. The one in my soul.

We are all a little broken. We are a mosaic. We're made up of all those we've met and all the things we've been through. There are parts of us that are colorful and dark and jagged and beautiful. And I love every piece of you. Even the ones you wish didn't exist.

I believe you. I can handle anything you need to tell me. You don’t need to protect me from the truth and I’m here to help you in any way I can. It’s not your fault. And you don’t deserve it.

I like you more than I’ve ever liked anyone too.” He paused. “I like you more than like.” We held each other’s gaze. “I like you more than like too,” I said quietly.

what you allow is what you teach.

You know, reading makes your penis look bigger - don't quote me on it, the science is really new.

Drink some water.” “Water?” Leigh said. “That stuff that killed everyone on the Titanic?

Tell me your day today from start to finish.

I think you went through something horrible and that’s who you needed to become to get through it.

I want you to know that watching two complete strangers fall in love has been one of the greatest gifts of my life.

You never realize you’re living the best time of your life... It happens and then it ends, and you only see it for what it was after.

Love follows you. It goes where you go. It doesn’t know about social divides or distance or common sense, it doesn’t even stop when the person you love does. It does what it wants. Even if what you want is to not be in love.

What if the universe listened? What if you or your mom or the kids were supposed to die in a car crash and your dad said ‘Take me instead’—and the universe did. And nobody remembers the way it was supposed to be because that’s the deal. You never get to know that he’s a hero. The fates are reversed and the tribute takes the thing he asked for to save someone he loves. If you think of it that way, instead of being sad that he’s gone, be happy that he got what he wanted. And that somebody loved you enough to take your place.

I had to let go of any grasp on my old life, on my old insecurities or fears or scars, or I was going to miss out on the best thing that’s ever happened to me.

Being broken is not an excuse for bad behavior, you still have to make good choices and do the right thing. But it can be the reason. And sometimes understanding the reason can be what helps you heal.

There is a peace in knowing the one thing you can’t live without. It simplifies all things. There was her, and then there was everything and everyone else. And only she really mattered. It was easy to know it.

There’s a special peace in sleeping next to someone you love. When you slip into the dark holding them and wake up and they’re still there and you know that everything that matters is just opening your eyes away.

This year was going to be my villain origin story, I just knew it.

I'm going to let that tall drink of water slam me like a door.

Use me,” he said, his eye resigned. “Use me for whatever you want. Just stay.

You know what's so dangerous about drowning?' I said, looking up at him. 'It's silent. So unless someone's paying close attention to you, no one saves you.

It was like there was no peaceful place to exist, no emotional safe space. I could have chaos, or I could have worry. I could be in the tornado, or I could be in the eye. But I could never be out of the storm. It was so, so exhausting to live this way

We do not go out of our way for men. We do not inconvenience ourselves for men, we do not change our well-laid plans for men. No.

I want you to know that your empathy is beautiful, Emma. I hope you never lose that. I do hope that one day you get some boundaries though.

I will however accept your invitation to be invited and never come. That sounds like an excellent time. I also enjoy not answering calls, not networking, never leaving the house, and hanging out with my dog.

Unhealed trauma is a crack. And all the little hard things that trickle into it that would have rolled off someone else, settle. Then when life gets cold, that crack gets bigger, longer, deeper. It makes new breaks.

He was in the worst position to be generous, yet he was. And she was in the best position to show grace, and she didn’t. And doing it would have cost her nothing. And that was the fundamental difference between them.

I think something is wrong with me. Like there’s something in me, in my heart, that doesn’t work right.

I was a mosaic of someone else’s design where none of the fragments were put in the right place.

The world is ending, Alexis. That’s what this feels like. So come with me now.

You don’t have to forgive her. You really don’t. You can still love someone that you’ve decided not to speak to anymore. You can still wish them well and hope for the best for them. Choosing a life without them doesn’t mean you stop caring about them. It just means that you can’t allow them to harm you anymore. But if you don’t think your life would be better without them in it, then accept that they have cracks. Try to understand how they got them and help fill them with something that isn’t ice.” She peered at me. “If you can choose anger or empathy, always choose empathy, Justin. It’s so much healthier than anger. For both of you.

All they do is lie and throw off your PH balance. They are a constant reminder that we don’t choose our sexuality, because who in their right mind would choose to be attracted to men. They are completely worthless as partners. Did you know that when a wife becomes seriously ill, she is six times more likely to be abandoned by her spouse than a husband is?

Being liked by Jacob meant something because he was so shy. It's like when someone's pet comes to sit with you instead of their person, and you feel like the chosen one. It made me feel a little special like he saw something in me.

I don’t think anyone had ever written me a letter before. It was shockingly effective. Way better than text or email, like it had a different weight to it or something. There’s something about holding the paper in your hand, seeing the ink on the page, the press of the pen. He made this. It took effort. It was a physical act. He couldn’t erase it if he made a mistake, he had to think about what he was going to say before he said it—or he said exactly what he wanted to and didn’t need to change it.

I wanted to pull my weight and learn to be self-reliant so that when I did depend on someone, it was by choice and not necessity.

It was weird to say, but she made me feel alone—the way I felt when I was by myself. Calm and unaffected. Like it was just us here and not a hundred other people.

Even if you don’t love me back. Even if it never matters to you or means anything or goes anywhere. I love you.

Because you needed me," he said simply. "I will always come when you call.

You can still love someone that you’ve decided not to speak to anymore. You can still wish them well and hope for the best for them. Choosing a life without them doesn’t mean you stop caring about them. It just means that you can’t allow them to harm you anymore.

You know what these silences make me think of?” she said. I looked over at her. “What?” “I always think that when we’re quiet, we’re agreeing to be harmless to each other. That we’re just sharing the same space and letting each other exist exactly as we are, and neither of us would hurt or upset the other one.

It was easier to pretend to be angry and tough than to admit to being devastated and heartbroken. And by the practiced way she wielded attitude, she'd been devastated and heartbroken for a long time.

You can tell a lot about a guy by how they deal with rejection and getting their asses handed to them.

But for me, it was a lifeline. An outstretched hand while I was falling, an umbrella in a downpour. A friendship is a hostile place.

Don't let them decide the life you're going to live. You only get one

I must return to my isolation now. I need twenty to twenty-two hours of alone time a day to function.

It’s the greatest revenge to be happy. To have a good life.

The truest sacrifices are the ones no one knows anything about

What’d you send her flowers for?’ I smiled. ‘She’s mad at me.’ ‘For what?’ ‘She asked if I’d eat her if she were a gummy bear. I said yes.

I don’t need anyone. And I know that sounds sort of terrible, but it’s actually comforting to know that I have this ability to need no one. It feels like a superpower. Like I’m untouchable.

... When she ghosts me, she haunts me. I can still feel her all around me only I can't see her or touch her and I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I can't go the rest of my life like this. This isn't living. Nothing is anything without her ...

My parents had never love me unconditionally. Never/ So then why was I loving them that way? Why did they deserve that? Why did I think I had to sell my would instead of them maybe learning to be open-minded or tolerant or just quiet about the choices their children were making?

Mom had normalized this abuse. Indulged it. She’d made me a participant, reinforced this behavior by giving my father what he wanted when he acted this way. The most influential woman in my life had modeled this for me from the day I was born and told me to take it. She’d taught me this, primed me for my relationship with Neil. Made me believe that this was what love looked like.

I loved well hydrated veins.

Home is something that’s always there, I realized. No matter where you are in the world, you know it’s where you left it, unchanged and waiting.

It’s funny to think that even sitting there on the floor with her, uncomfortable and tired, was better than sitting anywhere else in the world without her.

There's something more final than forever. It's never. Never is infinite.

I’m not superstitious.” I heard him suck air through his teeth. “I’m a little stitious.

Ali, never underestimate what a man will do for five percent better sensation.

Because sometimes family isn’t what you’re born into. Sometimes family is found. And I’d found mine in Wakan. I’d found mine in him.

Grace costs you nothing.

It's hard to find out that someone you love is fine with just setting your life of fire and walking away

That maybe you learned to put up with Neil because from the earliest age you were taught that to be loved you had to placate an asshole?

I thought about what Emma said once. That framing is everything. That if you can frame the terrible things in the best possible way, that’s where true happiness comes from.

Because when you’re in love, you do hard things. And nothing about anything was easy right now.

Have you ever heard that quote if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it’s stupid?” “Yeah…” “Sounds like Amy really likes hanging out in trees.” I laughed a little. “I will never judge you for how you climb a tree, Jacob. And you should know that you are an exceptional fish.

I loved him so much. I wanted to die, I loved him so much. I wanted to crawl inside of him and live there. I wanted to spend the rest of my life just being with him. Adoring him. Protecting him. Living in all his quiets. Letting him touch me any way he wanted to, as often as he wanted to. A head on his shoulder in a movie theatre. A kiss before bed. A cuddle in the dark. Growing old and holding his hand. Anything he wanted. Anything he needed. I wanted to be his anything.

She’d taught me this, primed me for my relationship with Neil. Made me believe that this was what love looked like. Bri was right. I’d been taught to placate assholes. I’d been taught by Mom.

We are a mosaic. We’re made up of all those we’ve met and all the things we’ve been through. There are parts of us that are colorful and dark and jagged and beautiful. And I love every piece of you.

I couldn’t explain the intense, panicked flight response I was feeling. The need to run. Push him away before he hurt me, like all the other important men in my life had. Get myself to safety before it was too late, insulate myself before history repeated itself. […] I wanted Jacob to make me all the promises and tell me it was going to be okay, that I was safe and loved and he wanted this and he wanted me. I wanted him to tell me we were different, and I wished to God that I was the kind of undamaged person who could believe something like that. But I wasn’t. And I probably never would be.

I didn’t like how easy it was for someone like Gabby, in her position of privilege, to punch down. At all. It was such an unfair power dynamic. She was like a kid wielding her one-star reviews like a toy, for fun. Only it wasn’t a game. It was someone’s livelihood. And here was Daniel, doing what he felt was the right thing, refunding the whole weekend. He was in the worst position to be generous, yet he was. And she was in the best position to show grace, and she didn’t. And doing it would have cost her nothing. And that was the fundamental difference between them.

Then I sighed. “Why is everything so hard?” “Because you have too many fucks to give.” “Ha-ha.” “No, I’m serious. Give up some of your fucks and see how much easier things are. You’re just spending all your time trying to please everyone else, and it’s making you miserable.

I saw children and grandchildren and rocking chairs on the back porch of the house overlooking the river and two old people, dying on the same day because the world would never be cruel enough to make either one of us exist without the other.

I’ll reverse image search it.” “Oh, good thinking. Okay, hold on.” I sent it to her. She sat back down and started thumbing into her phone, and I went back to finish my food. “Found him,” Maddy said, after about forty-five seconds. I gawked. “That fast???” “The FBI should hire more women. We’re natural investigators.

because any day I’m not with her is just wasted time. And I’ll already never get all the time I want…

And that was the moment. The first time my brain consciously registered what my heart had been telling me for the last few weeks. I wasn't falling in love with her. I already was.

Why not forgive? In a world where you can choose anger or empathy, always choose empathy, Justin.

I’m never ready for a party. I just come to terms with the fact that I have to go inside.

You’re like a docking station for small vulnerable dependents.” “Well, we all need a job.” She laughed.

You can love someone and still not be willing to give up your way of life for them. And then there are those you love who you’d take a bullet for.

If you could wipe your whole life clean and rebuild it from scratch and nobody would question how you’ve done it, what order would you put it in?

He was in the worst position to be generous, yet he was. And she was in the best position to show grace, and she didn’t. And doing it would have cost her nothing.

But I could love her better than anyone ever could for the rest of her life. That, I knew. And if there was even a fraction of a chance that might be enough, I was going to take it.

I wanted him to hold me after. To wake up with me in the morning and eat cereal in my bed while we watched TV. I wanted to see his pajamas on Christmas morning and find out what he looked like with birthday candles lighting his face and snow in his hair.

She smiled and then scooted over and curled up against me and I got to put an arm around her. She snuggled into me and it was everything. My entire universe condensed to a single place and time.

Daniel, I can’t talk right now. I’m having an emergency.” She sounded like she was crying. I sat up. “Are you okay?” She sniffed. “No. Not really. The power is out, so the coffeemaker won’t work.

This is the thing nobody tells you about The One. How they’re timeless. How the moment they pop up again you’re right back in it, right where you left off. I was darted through the heart, hit by the truck, my brain taking the screenshot.

Why not forgive? In a world where you can choose anger or empathy, always choose empathy; Justin. I don't know what it was like to be her. A single mom at eighteen, no money, no family. She struggled. She still struggles. But she loves me and I never doubted that for a second no matter what she did.

It filled me up. It was like all the things my dad and Neil drained out of me, these people tried to put back. They dropped love and appreciation and acknowledgment into my empty well, one smile and thank-you at a time.

What does this one mean?' she whispered. [...] I know all of your quiets. I know when you're alone with me and you're quiet, it's because your brain is still. And when you're in public and you're quiet, it's because your brain is loud. But I don't know this one. What's this one?' I held her gaze. 'This one's you.

Love shows up, Jacob. So show up.

He had me all turned over and inside out. Just looking at him made me happy. I wanted to run down the steps and jump on him and kiss his face like an excited puppy.

and I think it was because it was happening with her. I liked her. And I liked making her happy and I liked seeing her this way and I liked this hug.

But I knew now that Justin was the only person in the world I could ever disappear into.

But so far I haven’t found a home I’d want to stay at forever.” “Maybe home isn’t a place. Maybe it’s a person.

We do not go out of our way for men. We do not inconvenience ourselves for men, we do not change our well-laid plans for men.

It’s like I wanted to see if he still wanted me around after he knew me. The unscripted me. The real me. The messy me.

And there wasn’t a day that went by that I didn’t feel her absence like a void in my soul. I missed her like I missed the sun in the winter.

I was wondering if you’d like to go out with me sometime,” he whispered. “Four dates. A kiss. No breakup.

And your forearms. I love them.” Well. I was never wearing long sleeves again. Winter was going to be rough. “When

I’m sorry someone made you feel like it’s hard to love you,

I think my soul recognized hers the second I laid eyes on her. Our bodies knew it the very first night.

And we stayed there holding each other, inseparable, immovable, tangled like a tree that had grown into a chain-link fence.

A quiet observation of her well-being had grown inside of me the way it did for all the people I cared about. Only not the same. Not the same at all.

we don’t choose our sexuality, because who in their right mind would choose to be attracted to men. They are completely worthless as partners.

You know, love shows up, Briana. And even if you keep me away from you, my heart will still be where you are. So just let me be where you are.

He deserved to be the best friend. He wasn’t a technicality.

You’ll never use it. Most of the stuff we hang on to we don’t actually need. My entire life packs into two large suitcases. And if it doesn’t, I leave whatever doesn’t fit.

I could feel it in everything suddenly. The way he touched me, the energy coming off him, the look in his eyes. And then I realized that I had always felt it. This was his quiet. The silence that I couldn’t decipher. It was me.

You know, they almost didn’t let me in here. They said I had to wait until you were awake and you could ask for me. They only let me in because you had me listed on your intake paperwork as your wife.

What do you think she’ll be like? she whispered, after a moment. “Who?” I said gently, holding her to my chest. “The girl you’ll meet after me. Your soulmate.” My heart shattered into a million pieces. If you had asked me yesterday, I would have said it was her. Instead she’d end up being the one who got away. Not a soulmate, just the love of my life. And unfortunately they’re not the same thing.

I wanted his fast breath and the moan in the back of his throat and the gasp in mine. I wanted to forget. To be so lost in him I couldn’t think about what scared me, or the cracks in my heart, or the things that didn’t work right in my soul. I got lost in myself all the time. But I knew now that Justin was the only person in the world I could ever disappear into.

Being on his lap, letting him hold me, smelling his warm, piney scent—it was a finally moment. Like arriving at a finish line or letting go of a breath you’ve been holding—or coming home. It’s the release that happens when you don’t have to think about anything at all.

This is what my skin was for. To be touched like this. To feel this. Every nerve was for this sole purpose and I didn’t even know it until now. To feel his strong hand slide up to cup my breast, his thumb circling my nipple. To feel his breath on my collarbone. I was made to experience him. And he was right. It was magic.

It occurred to me that this is what true compatibility must feel like. Easy. Being with Jacob was easy in a way that I never knew existed. […] maybe I’d married a six out of ten on the compatibility scale—which can work with effort. But Jacob was a ten out of ten. A yes/yes. Jacob didn’t take work. Jacob was perfect.

loved that he’d Googled El Salvador and then the little town I’d told him my mom was from. I loved that the day we took the twins to the park and Carter said he wanted him to wear raccoon socks, Jacob had gone on a multi-site crusade for them. I loved that he Googled plants. I loved it. It made me want to climb him for having this wholesome hobby that wasn’t boning someone else. I loved it.

hard. “I stole the microwave plate. And the lightbulb out of the fridge. I took the lid for the blender and the oven mitts and the garage door opener and I untuned his guitar and I tore out the last five pages of the book he was reading. I put red Kool-Aid in the shower head and peeled the labels off all the canned food and I put raw shrimp into the curtain rod on the window next to the bed—stop laughing!

I think the thing that always got me through the stuff with my mom was knowing that she didn’t want to be the way she was. Nobody wants to be the villain, Justin. If you start there, it’s easier to get how people end up who they are and where they are. My mom put me through a lot. She hurt me. A lot. But she’s full of more cracks than I can ever comprehend.

I think about perfect matches. You know how with an organ donation a perfect match isn't really perfect? There's still a chance of rejection, even if all the stars align. Nothing is ever perfect. There's just matches that have a higher chance of working than others. Maybe you guys were like that. It could have worked, but you'd spend your whole life forcing it.

I needed to not be at work today. I needed to sit around my house without a bra, my hair in a weird bun, watching reruns of Schitt’s Creek. My eyes were still puffy, and I was a soft breeze away from losing it again—and I got my period. I get to bleed for a week without the sweet release of death.

They lure you in. They make you feel like you're the best thing to ever happen to them, like you're the most special woman in the world - like you're seeing something rare. But that's the trap. It's how they get you close enough to drown you. And Liz? Nobody can save you until you're ready to save yourself.

She’d known I needed the details. I didn’t have to ask her, I didn’t have to explain it to her—or not explain it and just deal with not having it. She understands you, even when you don’t say anything at all… This is what Mom meant. This is what she saw. Emotion swelled inside of me. And then I deflated all over again. Because even though she speaks my language, it didn’t translate into her wanting me back.

You know how when something bad happens to someone you love, and you wish you could take it from them instead?” “Yeah.” “What if the universe listened? What if you or your mom or the kids were supposed to die in a car crash and your dad said ‘Take me instead’—and the universe did. And nobody remembers the way it was supposed to be because that’s the deal. You never get to know that he’s a hero. The fates are reversed and the tribute takes the thing he asked for to save someone he loves. If you think of it that way, instead of being sad that he’s gone, be happy that he got what he wanted. And that somebody loved you enough to take your place.

Dearest Briana, I know you’re scared. You have every right to be. But someday, decades from now, when our grandchildren are grown and our hair is gray, and we’ve spent a lifetime being harmless to each other, you’re going to find this letter yellowed and wrinkled, forgotten in a shoebox. You’ll read it and you’ll remember how frightened and unsure you were once. How afraid you were to give yourself to someone, how hard it was to trust again—and you’ll smile. Because I’ll still be there. And we will still be in love. Yours truly, Jacob

You can still love someone that you’ve decided not to speak to anymore. You can still wish them well and hope for the best for them. Choosing a life without them doesn’t mean you stop caring about them. It just means that you can’t allow them to harm you anymore. But if you don’t think your life would be better without them in it, then accept that they have cracks. Try to understand how they got them and help fill them with something that isn’t ice.” She peered at me. “If you can choose anger or empathy, always choose empathy, Justin. It’s so much healthier than anger. For both of you.

I’d realized something after being with her. A valuable lesson that I think all the best and most enduring romances have figured out. The love stories sold us the wrong thing. The best kind of love doesn’t happen on moonlit walks and romantic vacations. It happens in between the folds of everyday life. It’s not grand gestures that show how you feel, it’s all the little secret things you do to make her life better that you never tell her about. Taking the end piece of the bread at breakfast so she can have the last middle piece for her sandwich when you pack her lunch. Making sure her car always has gas so she never has to stop at the pump. Telling her you’re not cold and to take your jacket when you are in fact, very, very cold. It’s watching TV on a rainy Sunday while you’re doing laundry and turning her light off when she’s fallen asleep reading. Sharing pizza crusts and laughing about something the kids did and taking care of each other when you’re sick. It isn’t glamorous, it isn’t all butterflies and stars in your eyes. It’s real. This is the kind of love that forever is made of. Because if it’s this good when life is draining and mundane and hard, think of how wonderful it will be when the love songs are playing and the moon is out.