Paranormal Investigator Quotes

HARRY DRESDEN—WIZARD Lost Items Found. Paranormal Investigations. Consulting. Advice. Reasonable Rates. No Love Potions, Endless Purses, Parties, or Other Entertainment

The telegram was sealed – an old-fashioned touch, I thought, but then I’d never had a telegram before. I took my time opening it. I said nothing.

I'd have your back off-site too, if you'd let me." ~Cain, Ghost of You

…You’re throwing us away because you’re afraid to let yourself fall in love. You’re searching for something that isn’t real. You’re not Eric Stone. He’s your protagonist. Eric Stone is make-believe and life isn’t an adventure novel.

Shit. This whole clusterfuck just got way clusterier and fuckier.

Nim handed me a mug of tea. I took a sip and it was just how I like it, strong and sweet. If you added psychotic and emotionally unavailable to that, it would also cover my taste in women.

My name is Zak Bagans. I've never believed in ghosts until I came face to face with one. So I set out on a quest to capture what I once saw onto video....With no big camera crews following us around, I am joined only by my fellow investigator Nick Groff and our equipment tech Aaron Goodwin. The three of us will travel to the some of most highly active paranormal locations, where we will spend an entire night, being locked down from dusk until dawn....Raw...Extreme...These are our Ghost Adventures.

A selfish man would never visit a comatose woman every day for two months. He wouldn’t have done what was best for everyone involved, or given an employee a proper burial. These are the acts of a loving man––a man who cared too much.” “What are you saying?” “Sara’s my biological mother.

My name is Harry Blackstone Copperfield Dresden. Conjure by it at your own risk. I'm a wizard. I work out of an office in midtown Chicago. As far as I know, I'm the only openly practicing professional wizard in the country. You can find me in the yellow pages, under "Wizards." Believe it or not, I'm the only one there. My ad looks like this: HARRY DRESDEN — WIZARD Lost Items Found. Paranormal Investigations. Consulting. Advice. Reasonable Rates. No Love Potions, Endless Purses, Parties, or Other Entertainment You'd be surprised how many people call just to ask me if I'm serious.

She watched the clip several times—enough times to know w certainty her father had nothing to do with the crash. He’d done everything in his power to stop the car and avoid the truck. Someone else had been driving.

Marriage isn’t a prison,” Karlee said. “It’s not supposed to hold two people captive.” “It’s not a prison, it’s a fortress. Marry me. Because you love me. Because of the baby. Because you want to protect our love.” “And all this time I thought you were afraid of commitment.” “I am,” Cole said. “I’m terrified you won’t make one.

Here lies Kate Kane, killed in a foreplay accident. Beloved daughter. Sorely missed.

Let me down right now, you impotent angst puppy.

I thought I was in love (that's the pathetic part - my idea of being in love).

My name is Markowski. I carry a badge. Also a crucifix, some wooden stakes, a big vial of holy water, and a 9mm Beretta loaded with silver bullets. I was never a Boy Scout but "Be Prepared" is still a good motto to live by. Especially if you plan to keep living.

I have to rescue my girlfriend from a killer shit faery, and I’ve got no way to carry my magic sword.

Bitter experience has taught me that you don't engage with intellectually superior wankers who make long speeches about moral relativism.

Hell: making the best things suck since the dawn of creation.

I don’t have many friends, but I think you’re one of them. And friends don’t send friends to get their souls sucked out.

The game went on for about two hours. People hit balls to places. Occasionally they would go other places, and people would cheer. This is my experience of all sport ever.

Note to self: never cockblock demons or werewolves.

I was slightly depressed that I lived the kind of life where you needed a sewer kit, but the only thing more depressing than having a sewer kit is needing a sewer kit and not having one.

In the end, maybe that was what separated the real paranormal investigators from the charlatans. The charlatans kept up the aura of mystery and obfuscation. The real investigators kept asking why and how.

Moreover, knowledge and investigation help promote wonder they do not destroy it. Whatever our tastes, we can generally appreciate such things as music, art or wine better when we understand a bit about them. We read up on our favourite singers or artists because we feel we can appreciate their work better when we know how they think and what they bring to their work. The giddy delight and curiosity that comes from marvelling at the beauty of this universe is deepened, not cheapened, by the laws and facts science gives us to aid our understanding. In a similar way, the psychological tricks at work behind many seemingly paranormal events are truly more fascinating than the explanation of other-worldiness precisely because they are of this world, and say something about how rich and complex and mysterious we are as human beings to be convinced by such trickery, indeed to want to perpetuate it in the first place.

It was loud. It was crowded. I hate crowds. I had to make small talk with a bunch of people I don’t know, and I’m terrible at that. And some guy I’d just met wanted to do perverted things to me with noodles.” - Adrian Broussard, page 15

To state the obvious, each person is an individual with a unique personality, life experiences, inter relationships, and so on. Many paranormal investigators believe the individual takes these unique factors with them when they die. This means that each experience with a spirit is also unique because of what the deceased has retained after death. Likewise,

It's ironic, since they're supposed to be immortal, but vampires are kind of like small businesses: half of them go down within their first year

Would I lie to you?” “There was that time you told me the mud pies would give me flying powers if I ate them.” “Not my fault. I really thought they would.

Oh, you fuckguzzling shitweasel.

The smart thing to do was quit while I was ahead, but I wasn't really ahead and I've never been a quitter

Was it wrong that I kind of wanted to do her right there? Okay, Kate. Be professional about this. Also you have a girlfriend. A girlfriend who can juggle cars.

If it wasn't for werewolf cousins, there'd be far fewer fashion interns, It boys, graphic novelists, bespoke shoe boutiques, and sushi-haggis fusion restaurants in the world.

Miss Kane, I have been worried. Sorry, I've been in a faery closet and a werewolf dungeon. Business or pleasure? Business.

I mean,” her mother paused to choose her words, “maybe you’ll get involved in some school related activities, or join a team, or maybe meet a nice boy.” “Ugh,” Keely groaned, “I don’t have time for that stuff mom. We’ve talked about this.” “Because of the little ghost...searching…thingy you and Tad do?” “It’s called paranormal investigation mom.” “It’s called being antisocial.

Yes, I was a faery-blooded, thirty-something PI with trust issues and a drinking problem, and she was a bloodthirsty undead nun with a pudding fixation, but I honestly thought we were in with a chance.

He envied straight couples the easy openness of their relationships. At that moment, he would've given anything to know what it was like to take his lover's hand without a second's consideration for what anyone else might think, or do.

You're late," said Death. "Something came up.

Clearly when you’re immortal, life is no longer too short to stuff a mushroom.

Who the fuck keeps worms in cans?" "Fishermen?

The Dream is the city, and if we find it's heart in the Dream, then we find it's heart in the world.

I fended them off as best I could while trying to shield my eyes but, tragically, I'd left my flamethrower in my other suit.

He did his thing, and I did mine. Mine involved standing there with a sword in a bin liner waiting for something to try and kill us. Nothing did.

You smell of cheap cigarettes and dirty sex.

We awkwarded for another long moment.

I really needed to stop getting into bed with random supernatural entities. I also really needed to start picking metaphors that didn't have a sexual undertone.

One murder kit - check. One body disposal kit - check. Escape car gassed up - check. I feel like a well-prepared criminal.

As a general rule, I’m suspicious of unassuming men in their late fifties because they’re usually terrifying supernatural monsters.

You smell of shadows and dreams. And dead things.

Marlboro Lights, he sighed. Barely a peck on the cheek of destruction. I'm commitment phobic.

Werewolves protect their own. Vampires protect their own. Mages protect their own. Faeries are just bat-shit crazy and dump their kids on people’s doorsteps. It’s a funny old world.

Before I knew what I was doing, I was giving chase. I was dimly aware it was a really bad idea, but I just couldn’t stop. Faery magic: fucking with people’s heads since ten million BC.

The men dug some way down, I believe they struck the coffin." "Excellent. We can deal with it now. George here is good with a spade, aren't you George?" "Well I certainly get plenty of practice." George said.

About the Author Alexis Hall was born in 1764 and sustains his unnatural existence by the usual methods of drinking blood, avoiding sunlight, and brooding. He writes fiction from deep within a crumbling mansion with one wrist pressed to his forehead.

Emma smacks the back of my head. “It’s just boobs. Even I have a pair. No reason to stare so hard. Put your eyes back in your head.” She grabs my hand, leading me toward the bar . . . and positions me with my back to the stage. “But you’ve never shown me yours. Take your shirt off, and I’ll stare at yours instead.” “You did not just say that.” “Yeah, I think I did.” “Men.” She rolls her eyes.

The core of traditional science’s derision of the paranormal field is that it’s filled with amateurs armed only with off-the-shelf equipment who do not adhere to the “scientific method” of research, which has been shaped and reshaped over the course of human history.

Green goo bubbles in a cauldron in the center of all this chaos. On a pedestal in front of it, a book is open. The old lady leans over the book so it almost touches her nose and peers at the page. “Marshmallows. No, that can’t be right. Jason,” she shrills. “Read this for me.” “Marjoram,” Jason reads.

Jason. My best friend from childhood. The boy—er, man—who should be ten hours away in Kodiak, Alaska, rather than here in Anchorage. The man staring at my naked legs. And I’m standing here in my panties and baby-doll T, which clearly shows I’m not wearing a bra, especially as Alaska is cold in February and the door gapes wide open.

When you say together . . ." "It'll help if I'm close to you physically." "I bet you say that to all the girls.

Dragons are very...current. It's a function of exceeding the life span of the culture we've chosen to join. Every day, a dragon has to choose to live in the now.

Are we going to kick arse and take names, Miss Kane?" "I was thinking we'd maybe just ask them some questions. Politely.

I never read comic books.” “Angel, you don’t know what you’re missing.” He grins at me. “They’re like soap operas for men.

That’s so sexy,” said Julian dryly. “Hamster cheeks totally do it for me.

We had a whole feast prepared by the time the doorbell rang. I flung open the front door in excitement, with a huge grin from ear to ear. It was only fucking Arden.

That’s pretty mature of you.” “It’s been known to happen.

had no idea an asexual banshee could outmaneuver a horny Unseelie, but I had a pretty good idea it would work.

She said she hated it when the things she loved got ruined when she found out the person behind it was garbage.

A toddler did more property damage than a cat, but it was illegal to charge a kid deposit and child fees like it was with pets.

Merlin whipped out a bag of popcorn and started shoving it in his face. Where the fuck was he keeping his popcorn?

No, this was pure adrenaline. Some people did drugs, and others chased that runner’s high. Ballet dancers abused our bodies for this feeling right here.

Patrick had the attic room, which he’d decorated in shades of granite, wrought iron, and self-loathing.

I waited with my coffee-themed hot-water-beverage while she went to the counter to order.

God, you’re sexy when you’re being an idiot.

A holy sisterhood devoted to protecting the world from evil spirits.” I perked up a bit. “You mean demon-fighting ninja nuns?” “Basically, yes.

I see you have wilfully misinterpreted me for comic effect. I am quite entertained.

I am very fond of the instructional poster on the subject of surviving a zombie apocalypse, but I feel it lacks emotional resonance.

I was pretty sure that Patrick thought cockblocking me was his most important duty,

I found an easy-lift manhole cover just off Farringdon Road. Despite the name, it was not, in fact, easy to lift. I guess the council wanted to discourage casual sewer tourism.

We’re going to need backup, aren’t we?” “Backup? We’re going to need front-up. And maybe side-up as well.

For example, it’s widely accepted that paranormal activity increases around areas of high EMF. But why? If we had a database to compare EMF readings of every paranormal investigation, we could identify patterns and when cross-referenced against temperature readings, solar activity, moon phases, proximity to water, and other data, paranormal activity might even be predicted. Now lets add another layer—the surrounding materials of the haunting. It’s widely believed that water and limestone heighten paranormal activity, hence the large number of haunted lighthouses and military forts. Now if we compare our previous data with the number of places built of limestone or in close proximity to water, we can start to form hypotheses to explain the phenomenon. A lack of a central database is hurting the research.

It’s not in keeping with the scientific model to investigate a purportedly haunted location with the intent to prove that ghosts exist. The paranormal researcher should remain neutral and unbiased throughout the investigation and let the data prove a definitive conclusion, whether that’s the one they wanted or not. They should walk into an investigation thinking, “I will document what happens and then examine the data for conclusions.

She waves her big spoon. “You can get me that orb-weaver spider from the corner over there.” “Yes, ma’am.” “Don’t you kill it! I need it alive.” “Can I have a jar to catch it with?” “No. Use your hands.” “Why?” “The recipe says so.” Jason arches an eyebrow. “Can I see that?” “Who is the witch here? Me.” She swats him on the arm with her wooden spoon. “Okay, okay.” With a sigh, he heads toward a dark corner. She turns on me and raises her spoon.

Where are we heading?” “The closest wooded area to here is Kenwood Academy’s estate. Good place to hide, especially at night.” “If we’re going into the woods, I definitely need to change.” I glanced back at her as we returned to the curb where the cab had dropped us off. “Or you could just go home.” She crossed her arms and avoided my gaze, scowling. “You’re sick of me already? That must be a record.” I lifted my eyes to the heavens. Women. “This creature tore out a woman’s throat and busted her chest cavity open like a piñata. I don’t like the thought of it being anywhere near you.” “Did it ever occur to you that I feel the same way?” Surprise flooded over me. “No, it…actually didn’t.” “I know I’m not as strong or as smart as you are, but that doesn’t mean I can’t help. We’re partners, aren’t we?” “Yeah,” I said, and couldn’t stop the smile creeping across my lips. “I guess we are.” She tossed a quick look at me and frowned. “Quit it.” “What?” “I hate it when you do that.” “You hate it when I smile?” “No, when you make that, ‘aw, she does have a heart’ face. You look like a Disney prince.” I laughed. “My bad. I’ll work on that.

Consider the cartoon character of Betty Boop.” “The baby-voiced twenties flapper with the huge eyes and the spit curls…boop-boop-a-doop?” “The cartoon was based on a singer named Helen Kane, but Kane grabbed her share of glory by imitating another singer, Annette Hanshaw. Both Kane and Hanshaw are pop culture footnotes today, almost a hundred years later, but Betty Boop has become a commercial icon of the flapper and lives on in cheesy merchandise everywhere.

My mom taught me. She told me when she sent me out into the world, I was going to know how to take care of myself. She also said when I met the right woman, I was going to be a proper partner, not a man-child who needed a babysitter.

Coming face to face with mortality changes you. But it makes you wonder, why do we wait until something tragic happens before we finally try to realize our dreams. We always assume there will be time. Unfortunately, time can be cruel.

Basically, Elise, this is one of those cases. It's like when you bend down to pick a bit of hair out the plughole, and it yanks up more hair after it, and so you keep pulling, and you start thinking 'Shit, how much of this stuff is there?' And eventually your whole drain is clogged, and you've spent sixty quid on sink and plughole unblocker, and all you've got to show for it is twenty handfuls of goopy crap." Elise tilted her head slightly. "I fear that analogy may have run away with you.

He was wearing a gleaming cream-coloured linen suit, and a Panama hat. The weirdest thing about this was that he was not the most outlandish-looking person in the room by a long way. Not that Little Miss Dresses-Like-Bogart over here has a right to complain

A human!” He grasps my hand with both of his and dances me in a circle. Then he stops and pulls out his notebook and a pen, flips it open to a blank page, and poises his pen over the page. “Do you have dreams when you sleep at night? What do you dream about? What did you eat for breakfast? How often do you eat in a day? Omnivore, herbivore, or carnivore? Let me look at your teeth.” He steps close as if he would open my mouth for me and inspect it as if I were a horse for sale. I take a step back and bump into the stall door behind me.

Paranormal phenomena do not always adhere to the known laws of physics, which may be the crux of the matter— we need to reengineer our understanding of physics and the ways of the universe. It’s very possible that we’re trying to understand forces that aren’t bound by gravity, space, or time, and may in fact exist in a different plane or dimension. That hypothesis requires a paradigm shift in our understanding of physics and presents a fundamental problem—how do we measure and test the paranormal when the building blocks of the universe are in question?

Paranormal investigation has been labeled a pseudoscience and discredited as fantasy by traditional scientists for decades. Most traditional scientists believe that paranormal researchers read crystal balls, hold hands in a circle, or conjure up false spirits through cheap parlor tricks with smoke and mirrors at carnivals for profit. Can you feel the love between the two fields? Traditional science is anything but flawless. At some point in history, science tried to convince us that the world was flat, the world was the center of the universe, and that tobacco was not harmful. It’s not that traditional science is full of idiots, but that their conclusions were based on incomplete information. I feel that both traditional scientists and paranormal investigators seek to find answers to the same questions and can compliment each other through comparative research. There are phenomena in this world that we cannot explain and it doesn’t matter which side of the aisle you’re on—believer or skeptic—we all want the same thing: the truth. I really hope we all can work together to find these answers in the future.

She unscrews the cap, sniffs it, and then shrugs, dumping the entire contents into the bubbling brew. “It could be marjoram, but it might be mushrooms. I had a bottle of poisonous, green ones I dried out last winter on the solstice. Oh well.” Leaning out over the cauldron, she stirs thrice counterclockwise, using the wooden spoon with a handle about as tall as she is. Then she scoops a bit and brings it to her mouth for a taste. “No!” Jason and I scream at the same time. She blinks at us. “What?” “You just put something that may be poisonous in there,” I say.

Through paranormal investigation and communication with the souls of the deceased, you can add unwritten pages in history books through the voices that lived it. If you know what they went through emotionally then you’re putting your body and soul on the same historical plane with them. You are calibrating yourself to their time and spiritual energy. By knowing the history you can develop ways to get better evidence. You can think of paranormal investigation as a metal detector and the history is the battery. Without history to power you, finding treasure is nearly impossible.

Emotions frequently contaminate the data. Physicist and Nobel laureate Werner Heisenberg said, “What we observe is not nature itself but nature exposed to our method of questioning.” Scientific inquiry must be unbiased to generate objective and reliable data. Since paranormal researchers generally believe in the afterlife already (especially when investigating the spirit of a departed loved one), they are frequently not as objective as they should be. Too many researchers have already reached a conclusion before they start an investigation and do their best to skew their findings in the direction of that conclusion.

spirits are composed of weak energy and are not capable of manifesting themselves into sound or sight until they come in contact with a greater amount of energy that they can borrow or take altogether. The presence of an energy source gives them the ability to manifest as sight or sound. This is key to understanding the paranormal.

Once upon a time, there was a nun called Sister Julian, Pudding Nun, who belonged to a sect of holy warriors called the Order of St. Agrippina. One spring morning, the Mother Superior received word from a priory in what is now Clerkenwell that some bad shit was going down in England.” “And,” I added helpfully, “she sent a crack team of ninja nuns to investigate.

Winston Churchill lived here for many years. Have you heard of him?” “Wasn’t he some fat guy who owned a sweet shop?” Her eyes widened in definite horror. I laughed. “Just joking. I’m not an idiot. He was your prime minister during the Second World War. He was the one who brought in the eight-hour working day and minimum wage, and he said cool things like ‘The price of greatness is responsibility.

Jason grins. “I’d never miss your birthday. Remember last year?” “Ugh! I thought I’d never thaw out after we went skiing in a blizzard. We were stranded for three days in that cabin we found in the woods.” “Aw, come on, you didn’t even get frostbite. I took care of you.” “At least I didn’t end up with any broken limbs. That time.” “I still can’t believe we went snow-boarding on East Pillar Mountain Loop. That’s a tough trail, and then you broke your arm slipping in the parking lot on the way to the truck.” My muscles were exhausted, and carrying my board on my shoulder, I wasn’t watching where I was going. I didn’t see the patch of ice. “Remember when you took me spelunking?” “I had no idea that bear was in there.” “I can’t remember ever being that scared.” “But it was fun! Come on. We can’t break tradition.

There is always drama, and sometimes comedy, involved. Ghosts are people, haunted by unhappy memories, and incapable of escaping by themselves from the vicious net of emotional entanglements. It’s not a good idea for a ghost hunter to be afraid of anything, because fear attracts undesirables even among the Unseen. An authoritative and positive position is quite essential with both medium and ghost. Sometimes, these “entities” or visitors in temporary control of the medium’s speech mechanism like their newly found voice so much, they don’t want to leave. That’s when the firm orders of the Investigator alone send them out of the medium’s body. There are dangers involved in this work, but only for the amateur. For a good psychic researcher does know how to rid the medium of unwanted entities. If all this sounds like a medieval text to you, hold your judgment. You may not have seen a “visitor” take over a Sensitive’s body, and “operate” it the way you might operate a car! But I have, and other researchers have, and when the memories are those of the alleged ghost, and certainly not those of the medium, then you can’t dismiss such things as fantastic! Too much disbelieving is just as unscientific as too much believing. Even though the lady in T. S. Eliot’s Confidential Clerk says blandly, “I don’t believe in facts,” I do. Facts—come to think of it—are the only things I really do believe in.

I mean, if I was getting married the guests would include a celibate incubus, an undead drag queen, a living statue, my dad, who’s had his eyes stolen by faeries, the woman who stole him back from faeries, a teenage oracle who’d insist on bringing my arsehole ex, a pack of werewolves, assuming it wasn’t too working class for them, possibly the entire Witch Court of London—and that was way more people than I was comfortable caring about. If I’d made the same list eighteen months ago, it would’ve been dad, Jenny and a bottle of cheap Scotch. Mind you, in either case I’d have to be marrying somebody and that would involve some fairly radical changes to my lifestyle. Because, let’s face it, my longest adult relationship has been with my hat.

Electromagnetism is the force that causes the interaction of electrically charged particles in our world, which takes place in an electrically charged field. Other than gravity, nothing affects our existence more than electromagnetism. Electric fields, electric currents, generators, motors, batteries, transformers, magnetic fields, magnets, and the magnetosphere that surrounds the Earth are all forms of electromagnetism. It’s the force responsible for holding electrons and protons together in atoms, so it’s a building block for molecules and all life as we know it. If there’s one constant relationship in paranormal research it’s the connection between EMF and spirits, either intelligent or residual. Almost every time paranormal activity happens, there is an increase in EMF, so it’s imperative that we understand how it works with spirits and their energy. The leading theory is that ghosts emit electromagnetic energy and cause spikes in electromagnetic fields (EMF). The common belief is that they gather energy in and send EMF out. So there is a directly proportional relationship between spirits and EMF and a simultaneous inversely proportional relationship between spirits and available energy.