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Online friends networks and dating sites, like the coffeehouse, are responding to the needs of introverts. We can write, not talk. We can get to the good stuff, and we can press delete as needed.

Unfortunately, there's no test of compatibility to see how couples will survive together, despite what they say on those online dating sites. There's always a risk you take when you agree to spend the rest of your life with someone.

If you are in a big city or on an online dating site, you are flooded with options. Seeing all these options, like the people in the job example, are we now comparing our potential partners not to other potential partners but rather to an idealized person whom no one could measure up to?

The realms of dating, marriage, and sex are all marketplaces, and we are the products. Some may bristle at the idea of people as products on a marketplace, but this is an incredibly prevalent dynamic. Consider the labor marketplace, where people are also the product. Just as in the labor marketplace, one party makes an offer to another, and based on the terms of this offer, the other person can choose to accept it or walk. What makes the dating market so interesting is that the products we are marketing, selling, buying, and exchanging are essentially our identities and lives. As with all marketplaces, every item in stock has a value, and that value is determined by its desirability. However, the desirability of a product isn’t a fixed thing—the desirability of umbrellas increases in areas where it is currently raining while the desirability of a specific drug may increase to a specific individual if it can cure an illness their child has, even if its wider desirability on the market has not changed. In the world of dating, the two types of desirability we care about most are: - Aggregate Desirability: What the average demand within an open marketplace would be for a relationship with a particular person. - Individual Desirability: What the desirability of a relationship with an individual is from the perspective of a specific other individual. Imagine you are at a fish market and deciding whether or not to buy a specific fish: - Aggregate desirability = The fish’s market price that day - Individual desirability = What you are willing to pay for the fish Aggregate desirability is something our society enthusiastically emphasizes, with concepts like “leagues.” Whether these are revealed through crude statements like, “that guy's an 8,” or more politically correct comments such as, “I believe she may be out of your league,” there is a tacit acknowledgment by society that every individual has an aggregate value on the public dating market, and that value can be judged at a glance. When what we have to trade on the dating market is often ourselves, that means that on average, we are going to end up in relationships with people with an aggregate value roughly equal to our own (i.e., individuals “within our league”). Statistically speaking, leagues are a real phenomenon that affects dating patterns. Using data from dating websites, the University of Michigan found that when you sort online daters by desirability, they seem to know “their place.” People on online dating sites almost never send a message to someone less desirable than them, and on average they reach out to prospects only 25% more desirable than themselves. The great thing about these markets is how often the average desirability of a person to others is wildly different than their desirability to you. This gives you the opportunity to play arbitrage with traits that other people don’t like, but you either like or don’t mind. For example, while society may prefer women who are not overweight, a specific individual within the marketplace may prefer obese women, or even more interestingly may have no preference. If a guy doesn’t care whether his partner is slim or obese, then he should specifically target obese women, as obesity lowers desirability on the open marketplace, but not from his perspective, giving him access to women who are of higher value to him than those he could secure within an open market.

A woman on an online dating site asked if I'd ever had an STD. I told her my high school prom date was named 'Chlamydia.

This, however, is OKCupid, the vast, weird pink-and-blue toned jungle of the id masquerading as a dating site, where rare birds of modern romance flutter amongst the night-terrors of human loneliness and despair and the suspicious skin irritants of late-night hook-uppery.

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In 2011, Mark Brooks, a consultant to online-dating companies, published the results of an industry survey titled “How Has Internet Dating Changed Society?” The survey responses, from 39 executives, produced the following conclusions: “Internet dating has made people more disposable.” “Internet dating may be partly responsible for a rise in the divorce rates.” “Low quality, unhappy and unsatisfying marriages are being destroyed as people drift to Internet dating sites.” “The market is hugely more efficient … People expect to—and this will be increasingly the case over time—access people anywhere, anytime, based on complex search requests … Such a feeling of access affects our pursuit of love … the whole world (versus, say, the city we live in) will, increasingly, feel like the market for our partner(s). Our pickiness will probably increase.” “Above all, Internet dating has helped people of all ages realize that there’s no need to settle for a mediocre relationship.” From "A Million First Dates How online romance is threatening monogamy" in January/February 2013

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Today’s dating sites mean easy access to countless singles tailored to your exact desires, with your perfect match only a click of a button away. Or at least that’s how we think it should be—but sometimes too much choice can just make it harder to weed out the bad options. For some of us, online dating is a succession of frogs with no prince at the end of it. For others, more choice seems to equal more rejection. The good news, as ever, is that math can help.

dating site Sociality is so sure it can create the perfect couple, it’s going to marry two of its subscribers –before they’ve even met! The contest is the latest brainchild of Sociality owner, Cassie McFlasterton. The thirty-seven-year-old online entrepreneur started the dating website three years ago, and in that time over

Fiscal Numbers (the latter uniquely identifies a particular hospitalization for patients who might have been admitted multiple times), which allowed us to merge information from many different hospital sources. The data were finally organized into a comprehensive relational database. More information on database merger, in particular, how database integrity was ensured, is available at the MIMIC-II web site [1]. The database user guide is also online [2]. An additional task was to convert the patient waveform data from Philips’ proprietary format into an open-source format. With assistance from the medical equipment vendor, the waveforms, trends, and alarms were translated into WFDB, an open data format that is used for publicly available databases on the National Institutes of Health-sponsored PhysioNet web site [3]. All data that were integrated into the MIMIC-II database were de-identified in compliance with Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act standards to facilitate public access to MIMIC-II. Deletion of protected health information from structured data sources was straightforward (e.g., database fields that provide the patient name, date of birth, etc.). We also removed protected health information from the discharge summaries, diagnostic reports, and the approximately 700,000 free-text nursing and respiratory notes in MIMIC-II using an automated algorithm that has been shown to have superior performance in comparison to clinicians in detecting protected health information [4]. This algorithm accommodates the broad spectrum of writing styles in our data set, including personal variations in syntax, abbreviations, and spelling. We have posted the algorithm in open-source form as a general tool to be used by others for de-identification of free-text notes [5].

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I was pretty sure she wasn’t here to thank me for signing her up for Cell Mate to Soul Mate—“where love shackles our hearts, not our hands”—an online dating site

Here are some examples of excessive use of social networking sites. There was this guy who fell for online dating so much, that it became his zone of comfort. He boosted his confidence, became a better communicator, knew what works and what doesn’t. Even kept interacting with girls for weeks and grabbed their attention with every word, while still playing it casual. But he never went on a real date. That’s because when you meet someone in person, you don’t have a screen between you two and that makes you vulnerable. It’s because you don’t always look your best and can’t choose a ‘profile picture’ that suits your mood. Because you’ll be asked questions you won’t expect, and wouldn’t have the time to pretend like you’re not on the phone and think of the best possible answer before replying. So, your image can be ruined, although it was never the real you in the first place.

consultant in order to secure the desired property. “She thinks I’m too unapproachable. That I need to soften up and or get laid.” Marcus grinned. “That’s my kind of consultant. Think she’d go for someone like me?” “No.” Gage braced himself for Haddie Madison, the fifty-year-old image consultant he'd hired out of desperation. Pasting on his most congenial face, he greeted her with a forced smile. "What brings you out to the job site, Ms. Madison?" Her brows twisted. "Wow. That's the best you can do? I can see straight through that pathetic attempt at pleasantries. And, please, call me Haddie." Gage abandoned the fake smile. "Haddie. What are you doing here?" "You said you had a meeting with Mr. Langley today, in ten minutes, if I'm not mistaken." "Eight." She nodded. "I'm here for moral support and to observe your interaction with the man." Marcus coughed to hide his snort of laughter. Gage glared at him. "Get your crew busy on something, even if it's only cleaning up the work site." Marcus let loose his grin and clapped a hand to Gage's back, nearly knocking him over. "And that's why you're paid the big bucks, my friend." The site foreman strolled away whistling. Not a care in the

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I've had to wonder if people like Shina and other spawns of third world immigrants have felt the need to purchase so much expensive couture in order to feel acceptable and insulated enough in (white) American upper-class society. But why purchase so much costly shit when you're not even that rich or ever going to wear half of what your husband has had to pay for anyway? At least more upper-class white women in America have had better things to spend their money on, like Botox, fillers, and online dating sites.

I Must Be Defective         FAVORITE REASONS I’M STILL SINGLE: (According to others)   1. God must think I’m not ready or mature enough for marriage.    2. If I didn’t want to be married, then maybe God could bless me with a husband.   3. I refuse to sign up for online dating sites. (If you wonder why, see reason #4.)   4. I refuse to go out with anyone who isn’t known well by people I know and trust.   5. I never call anyone who leaves a note on my car at Target that reads, “If you are single, I’d love to get to know you better.” (If you wonder why, reread reason #4.)   6. My spiritual standards are too high. If a guy believes in Jesus, that should be enough.   7. I’m not trying hard enough to make something happen.   8. I’m way too independent. (The fact that I have no choice but to take care of myself seems irrelevant!)   9. I say no to blind dates with men twenty years older than me.   10. I don’t always pluck my eyebrows.

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It turns out, sometimes a switch to a different, more attractive occupation can make a male more desirable than a large salary increase. For example, the data from online dating sites suggests that a man who earned $60K in the hospitality industry would become more desirable, on average, if he earned the same amount as a firefighter than if he stayed in the same industry but upped his salary to $200K. In other words, a male firefighter who earns $60K tends to be more attractive to the average heterosexual woman than a hospitality worker who earns $200K. While many men believe they need to earn a substantial salary to “buy” a woman’s love, the data suggests that having a cool job is frequently more attractive than having a boring, but lucrative, job.

Among more than 11,000 long-term couples, machine learning models found that the traits listed below, in a mate, were among the least predictive of happiness with that mate. Let’s call these traits the Irrelevant Eight, as partners appear about as likely to end up happy in their relationship when they pair off with people with any combo of these traits: Race/ethnicity Religious affiliation Height Occupation Physical attractiveness Previous marital status Sexual tastes Similarity to oneself What should we make of this list, the Irrelevant Eight? I was immediately struck by an overlap between the list of irrelevant traits and another data-driven list discussed in this chapter. Recall that I had previously discussed the qualities that make people most desirable as romantic partners, according to Big Data from online dating sites. It turns out that that list—the qualities that are most valued in the dating market, according to Big Data from online dating sites—almost perfectly overlaps with the list of traits in a partner that don’t correlate with long-term relationship happiness, according to the large dataset Joel and her coauthors analyzed. Consider, say, conventional attractiveness. Beauty, you will recall, is the single most valued trait in the dating market; Hitsch, Hortaçsu, and Ariely found in their study of tens of thousands of single people on an online dating site that who receives messages and who has their messages responded to can, to a large degree, be explained by how conventionally attractive they are. But Joel and her coauthors found, in their study of more than 11,000 long-term couples, that the conventional attractiveness of one’s partner does not predict romantic happiness. Similarly, tall men, men with sexy occupations, people of certain races, and people who remind others of themselves are valued tremendously in the dating market. (See: the evidence from earlier in this chapter.) But ask thousands of long-term couples and there is no evidence that people who succeeded in pairing off with mates with these desired traits are any happier in their relationship.

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I’ll stick to my paid online dating sites, thank you very much.’ Joanna knocks back the rest of her wine. ‘My theory is this – if a man is happy to pay to search for love, then surely he must be after a serious relationship, right?

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Just a figure of speech. No harm intended. I’m thirty-four years old. I’m guessing you’re somewhere in that range. We’re both single, and, frankly, it’s refreshing to meet a nice woman in real life and not on some dating site. You do the online stuff?

And online dating sites involve a lot of time spent sifting through frogs to find a prince.

Level 2: Meeting Women (Complete 4 of 5) Figure out demographics: Figure out your demographics based on the recommendations in. Write down the type of women you’d like to meet and the places you enjoy going most. Then find venues or events where those two things intersect. It could be independent rock concerts, it could be art gallery showings, it could be salsa nights. Whatever it is, find your niche and pursue it. Meet 5 women in one day: Self-explanatory Meet 20 women in one week: Also self-explanatory. Join an online dating site and email 10 women: Also self-explanatory. If you’re under 30 years old, I recommend free dating sites. If you’re over 30 years old, I recommend pay sites. Sign up for a singles or speed dating event: If you have trouble doing the approaching tasks, then this may give you a needed boost in the right direction.

More than a third of couples who married between 2005 and 2012 in the United States reported meeting their spouse online, with about half of these meeting through online dating sites and the rest through other online sites such as social networking sites and virtual worlds.

TOP 10 ONLINE DATING TIPS FOR MIDDLE-AGED MEN (ACCORDING TO DAN MARQUEZ) 1. Only use dating sites and apps that are free. The others are for suckers. 2. Don’t waste your time trying to come up with a catchy, original screen name. They’re all taken. 3. Keep your BIO brief. Less is more and you’re not that interesting. 4. Don’t mention past wives or girlfriends. Women will dig up your skeletons sure enough. 5. Mention your favorite food and if you have pets. Women will always love guacamole and animals more than they love men. 6. Take five seconds to spellcheck your personal BIO before posting it. Unless you’re trying to attract dyslexic women or non-English majors. 7. Absolutely no shirtless, selfie pics. Unless you’re gay or under the age of 25. 8. Don’t get discouraged if you LIKE a woman’s BIO and she never responds. It’s an ancient one the geniuses who run the dating sites never remove to keep lonely bastards like you swiping RIGHT. 9. Never be open and honest about your dating intentions. Women already know. 10.Do everything you can to disguise the fact you're a self-centered asshole with a fear of commitment like me.

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Hours spent compulsively masturbating to online pornography or pursuing potential sex partners on dating or social media sites and apps are hours not spent developing one’s career, nurturing one’s spouse and/or children, hanging out with friends, enjoying hobbies, and engaging in various other necessary forms of self-care.

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China’s actions also have major personal-security implications in the digital age. Consider the recent Chinese corporate acquisition of the gay dating site Grindr, which is headquartered in Los Angeles.30 The purchaser was a little-known Chinese online gaming firm called Kunlun, which is not a state company, and Grindr has assured its users that their data will be safe. But some cybersecurity experts have rung alarm bells about the possibility that Beijing could gain broad access to user data. Grindr often serves to facilitate discreet gay hookups, making it “a tantalizing source of information” for Chinese intelligence agencies, which, as one report noted, are building “massive databases” on individual Americans “to have handy” and perhaps use “as leverage in blackmail scenarios.

Jeff Rothschild: Before I walked in the door at Facebook, I thought these guys had created a dating site. It took me probably a week or two before I really understood what it was about. Mark, he used to tell us that we are not a social network. He would insist: “This is not a social network. We’re a social utility for people you actually know.” MySpace was about building an online community among people who had similar interests. We might look the same because at some level it has the same shape, but what it accomplishes for the individual is solving a different problem. We were trying to improve the efficiency of communication among friends.

In three years of purposeful dating, I started to refer to the men I met by the generic name of 'Dick," with a letter of the alphabet assigned in the order in which they appeared in my life: A. Dick, B. Dick, C. Dick, D. Dick, E. Dick. I was so popular on the over-fifty online dating sites that I damn near ran our of alphabet letters to assign to Dicks.

In three years of purposeful dating, I started to refer to the men I met by the generic name of 'Dick,' with a letter of the alphabet assigned in the order in which they appeared in my life: A. Dick, B. Dick, C. Dick, D. Dick, E. Dick. I was so popular on the over-fifty online dating sites that I damn near ran our of alphabet letters to assign to Dicks.

Online dating sites are nothing more than a tool for meeting new people. Much like a fork is a tool for eating. You can use it to eat a garden salad or a slice of double fudge chocolate cake. However, no obese person would ever blame their fork for their weight gain! And yet, people who have bad dating experiences with those they met online will blame the whole online dating industry.

Falling in love in an online game is more similar to an office romance than finding someone in an online dating site. The love grows out of working with and getting to know another person.

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The history of business is littered with examples that refute the “myth of the objective.” 37 It took Nintendo almost a century to invent the iconic Super Mario Brothers; YouTube was initially envisioned as a video dating site; Slack started as an internal communication tool for programmers developing an online game. Greatness often doesn’t follow predefined milestones. Given that markets and technological systems are too complex and dynamic to fully quantify, top-down centralization is often doomed to fail, because information is more often distributed from the bottom up and at the edges of the system, as the canonical example of the free market demonstrates.