Omb Quotes

We are Sex Bob-Omb and we are here to make you think about death and get sad and stuff!

Ujanja wote ulimwisha Murphy. Ilimbidi kutoboa siri ili adui asizidi kumuumiza. Alilaumu mno kufa wakati alishakula ng’ombe mzima. Alifikiri Mogens na Yehuda walishauwawa kulingana na hasira nyingi za magaidi. Walihakikisha hawafanyi makosa hata kidogo. Alivyomaliza kumhoji, yule adui alizunguka nyuma katika mgongo wa Murphy na kwenda katika dirisha lililokuwa wazi – la mashariki – ambapo aliegemea na kuvuta sigara. Alichungulia kidogo nje kisha akageuka na kuendelea kupata upepo mdogo wa baridi.

Zebras are the lions of the animal world. I mean they would be, if lions weren’t already the lions of the animal world. So, is this a book about zebras or pianos? Well, I haven’t played a zebra or ridden a piano in a few years, but that doesn’t mean I’m not an expert on both. In fact, the Bantu bestowed upon me the name “Pundamilia Mozart kupanda kinanda ng’ombe dume”, which roughly translated means, “Zebra Mozart who rides piano benches like they’re bulls.” That’s right, my friends. I’m an international man of mystery. Here’s some advice: If you want to be seen as more mysterious, remember to turn on the fog machine before you make your entrance.


The phone rang. It was a familiar voice. It was Alan Greenspan. Paul O'Neill had tried to stay in touch with people who had served under Gerald Ford, and he'd been reasonably conscientious about it. Alan Greenspan was the exception. In his case, the effort was constant and purposeful. When Greenspan was the chairman of Ford's Council of Economic Advisers, and O'Neill was number two at OMB, they had become a kind of team. Never social so much. They never talked about families or outside interests. It was all about ideas: Medicare financing or block grants - a concept that O'Neill basically invented to balance federal power and local autonomy - or what was really happening in the economy. It became clear that they thought well together. President Ford used to have them talk about various issues while he listened. After a while, each knew how the other's mind worked, the way married couples do. In the past fifteen years, they'd made a point of meeting every few months. It could be in New York, or Washington, or Pittsburgh. They talked about everything, just as always. Greenspan, O'Neill told a friend, "doesn't have many people who don't want something from him, who will talk straight to him. So that's what we do together - straight talk." O'Neill felt some straight talk coming in. "Paul, I'll be blunt. We really need you down here," Greenspan said. "There is a real chance to make lasting changes. We could be a team at the key moment, to do the things we've always talked about." The jocular tone was gone. This was a serious discussion. They digressed into some things they'd "always talked about," especially reforming Medicare and Social Security. For Paul and Alan, the possibility of such bold reinventions bordered on fantasy, but fantasy made real. "We have an extraordinary opportunity," Alan said. Paul noticed that he seemed oddly anxious. "Paul, your presence will be an enormous asset in the creation of sensible policy." Sensible policy. This was akin to prayer from Greenspan. O'Neill, not expecting such conviction from his old friend, said little. After a while, he just thanked Alan. He said he always respected his counsel. He said he was thinking hard about it, and he'd call as soon as he decided what to do. The receiver returned to its cradle. He thought about Greenspan. They were young men together in the capital. Alan stayed, became the most noteworthy Federal Reserve Bank chairman in modern history and, arguably the most powerful public official of the past two decades. O'Neill left, led a corporate army, made a fortune, and learned lessons - about how to think and act, about the importance of outcomes - that you can't ever learn in a government. But, he supposed, he'd missed some things. There were always trade-offs. Talking to Alan reminded him of that. Alan and his wife, Andrea Mitchell, White House correspondent for NBC news, lived a fine life. They weren't wealthy like Paul and Nancy. But Alan led a life of highest purpose, a life guided by inquiry. Paul O'Neill picked up the telephone receiver, punched the keypad. "It's me," he said, always his opening. He started going into the details of his trip to New York from Washington, but he's not much of a phone talker - Nancy knew that - and the small talk trailed off. "I think I'm going to have to do this." She was quiet. "You know what I think," she said. She knew him too well, maybe. How bullheaded he can be, once he decides what's right. How he had loved these last few years as a sovereign, his own man. How badly he was suited to politics, as it was being played. And then there was that other problem: she'd almost always been right about what was best for him. "Whatever, Paul. I'm behind you. If you don't do this, I guess you'll always regret it." But it was clearly about what he wanted, what he needed. Paul thanked her. Though somehow a thank-you didn't seem appropriate. And then he realized she was crying.

Wanasayansi wana uwezo wa kupeleleza hadi kipindi cha karne ya kwanza ambapo Yesu aliishi, alikufa, alifufuka na alipaa kwenda mbinguni, na wana uwezo wa kujua mambo mengi kwa hakika yaliyofanyika katika kipindi hicho na hata katika kipindi cha kabla ya hapo. Kuna miujiza ambayo Yesu aliifanya ambayo haiko ndani ya Biblia. Kwa mfano, Biblia inasema Yesu alizaliwa ndani ya zizi la ng’ombe wakati sayansi inasema alizaliwa nje ya zizi la ng’ombe; na muujiza wa kwanza kuufanya ambao hauko ndani ya Biblia ni kutembea mara tu baada ya kuzaliwa, na watu na ndege wa angani kuganda kabla ya kuzaliwa Masihi na kabla ya wakunga kufika kumsaidia Maria Magdalena kujifungua. Akiwa na umri wa miaka sita, sayansi inasema, Yesu alikuwa akicheza na mtoto mwenzake juu ya paa la nyumba ya jirani na mara Yesu akamsukuma mwenzake kutoka juu hadi chini na mwenzake huyo akafariki papo hapo. Watu walipomsonga sana Yesu kwa kumtuhumu kuwa yeye ndiye aliyesababisha kifo cha mwenzake, na kwamba wangemfungulia mashtaka, Yesu alikataa katakata kuhusika na kifo hicho. Lakini walipozidi kumsonga, aliusogelea mwili wa rafiki yake kisha akamwita na kumwambia asimame. Yule mtoto alisimama! Huo ukawa muujiza mkubwa wa kwanza wa Yesu Kristo, kufufua mtu nje ya maandiko matakatifu. Kuna mifano mingi inayodhihirisha uwepo wa Mungu ambayo wanasayansi hawawezi hata kuipatia majibu. Tukio la Yoshua kusimamisha jua limewashangaza wanasayansi hadi nyakati za leo. Mwanzoni mwa miaka ya 70 wanasayansi walijaribu kurudisha muda nyuma kwa kompyuta kuona kama kweli wangekuta takribani siku moja imepotea kama ilivyorekodiwa katika Biblia. Cha kushangaza, cha kushangaza mno, walikuta saa 23 na dakika 20 zimepotea katika mazingira ambayo hawakuweza na hawataweza kuyaelewa. Walipochunguza vizuri walikuta ni kipindi cha miaka ya 1500 KK (Jumanne tarehe 22 Julai) ambacho ndicho tukio la Yoshua la kusimamisha jua na kusogeza mwezi nyuma digrii 10, ambazo ni sawa na mzunguko wa dakika 40, lilipotokea. Kwa kutumia elimu ya wendo, elimu ya kupanga miaka na matukio ya Kibiblia, dunia iliumbwa Jumapili tarehe 22 Septemba mwaka 4000 KK. Hata hivyo, mahesabu ya kalenda yanaonyesha kuwa Septemba 22 ilikuwa Jumatatu (si Jumapili) na kwamba kosa hilo labda lilisababishwa na siku ya Yoshua iliyopotea. Hayo yote ni kwa mujibu wa Profesa C. A. Totten, wa Chuo Kikuu cha Yale, katika kitabu chake cha ‘Joshua’s Long Day and the Dial of Ahaz: A Scientific Vindication and a Midnight Cry’ kilichochapishwa mwaka 1890. Kama hakuna Mungu iliwezekanaje Yoshua aombe jua lisimame na jua likasimama kweli? Iliwezekanaje Yesu aseme atakufa, atafufuka na atapaa kwenda mbinguni na kweli ikatokea kama alivyosema? Ndani ya Biblia kuna tabiri 333 zilizotabiri maisha yote ya Yesu Kristo hapa duniani na zote zilitimia – bila kupungua hata moja. Utasemaje hapo hakuna Mungu? Mungu yupo, naamini, sijui. Tukio la Yesu kufa, kufufuka na kupaa kwenda mbinguni si la vitabu vitakatifu pekee, hata sayansi inakubaliana na hilo.

Kuna mambo yanatokea hapa ulimwenguni ambayo yanafanya nikiri uwepo wa Mungu kwa asilimia kubwa. Wanasayansi wanasema ulimwengu ulianzishwa na mlipuko wa ‘Big Bang’, uliotokea takribani miaka bilioni 14 iliyopita, kutoka katika kitu kidogo zaidi kuliko ncha ya sindano, lakini hawatuambii nini kilisababisha mlipuko huo utokee au hicho kitu kidogo kuliko ncha ya sindano kilitoka au kilikuwa wapi. Wanaendelea kusema kuwa baada ya ‘Big Bang’ kutakuwepo na ‘Big Crunch’, ambapo ulimwengu utarudia hali yake ya awali ya udogo kuliko ncha ya sindano, na kila kitu kinachoonekana leo ulimwenguni hakitaonekana tena. Hapo sasa ndipo utata unapokuja. Mlipuko wa ‘Big Bang’ ulipotokea ulimwengu ulilipuka na kusambaa pande zote nne za ulimwengu kwa mwendokasi wa zaidi ya kilometa milioni 2 kwa saa, mpaka hivi leo unavyoonekana na bado unaendelea kusambaa. Kutokana na dhana ya ‘Big Crunch’, wanasayansi wanaamini ulimwengu utapanuka ila baadaye utapungua mwendo na utarudi mwanzo kabisa mahali ulipolipukia. Lakini mwaka 1995 wanasayansi hao hao waligundua kitu. Ulimwengu – badala ya kupungua mwendo wa kupanuka kama wanasayansi walivyokuwa wakitabiri – sasa unaongeza mwendo, tena kwa mwendokasi ambao haujawahi kutokea. Hiki ni nini kinachosababisha ulimwengu uongeze mwendokasi kiasi hicho badala ya kuupunguza? Hicho ni nini ambacho ulimwengu unapanukia? Wanasayansi hawana jibu. Wanasingizia kitu kinaitwa ‘dark matter’, maada ambayo haijawahi kuonekana, kwamba ndicho kinachosababisha ulimwengu uongeze mwendokasi kwa kiwango hicho ambacho hakijawahi kutokea; na hicho ambacho ulimwengu unapanukia wanahisi ulimwengu wetu unapanukia katika ulimwengu mwingine, kwa mujibu wa dhana nyingine kabisa iitwayo ‘multiverse’ au ‘meta-universe’. Kuna kitu kinaitwa ‘Higgs boson’ – chembe ndogo inayosemekana kuhusika na uzito (‘mass’) wa chembe ndogo 16 zilizomo ndani ya atomu, kasoro chembe ya mwanga, iliyopotea mara tu baada ya mlipuko wa ulimwengu wa ‘Big Bang’ miaka bilioni 13.7 iliyopita katika kipindi kilichoitwa ‘epoch’ – ambayo ilianza kutafutwa katika maabara za CERN, Uswisi, toka mwaka 1964, maabara ambazo kazi yake kubwa ni kutengeneza mazingira ya mwanzo kabisa ya mlipuko wa ‘Big Bang’, kusudi wanasayansi waone kama wanaweza kubahatisha kuiona na kuidhibiti hiyo bosoni. Bosoni itakapopatikana wanasayansi watajua siri ya ‘dark matter’, watajua jinsi ulimwengu unavyofanya kazi na jinsi ulivyoumbwa na jibu la kitendawili cha ‘Standard Model’ litapatikana. Hiyo ni kazi ngumu. Ndiyo maana ‘Higgs boson’ mwaka 1993 iliitwa ‘The God Particle’. Yaani, wanasayansi wanahisi kuna muujiza wa Kimungu na huenda wasiipate kabisa hiyo bosoni. Wanasema waliipata mwaka 2013. Lakini hiyo waliyoipata bado ina utata. Kutokana na kushindwa huko kwa sayansi na historia, kutokana na kushindwa kwa sayansi kutengeneza binadamu au mnyama, kutokana na miujiza iliyorekodiwa katika vitabu vitakatifu; naamini, Mungu yupo.

Before a meeting at the White House to weigh the pros and cons of each approach began, OMB official Nancy Dorn pulled me aside and whispered to me in exasperation out of earshot of the others, “Every time you come into the White House, it costs us billions of dollars.

*Wazee wanasema, "Usijaribu kupaa kabla ya mabawa yako kuota." Ni hatari hata kwa kifaranga au ndege anayejitutumua na kuanza kuruka kabla ya mabawa na manyoya yake kuota vizuri. Kifaranga kinapaswa kiwe na subira; kikijitutumua na kuruka, huenda kikajiumiza au kuzama na kufa majini. Kila jambo na wakati wake. Tusitamani utajiri, cheo, au mamlaka kwa haraka haraka bila hata ya kupata uzoefu. Mungu aliweka matawi ya chini kwa ajili ya wale wasioweza kuruka vizuri ili hata wakianguka, wasipate kuumia sana. Na hata baada ya kufanikiwa kuruka, tambua kwamba hata ukifanikiwa kuruka juu kiasi gani, lazima utarudi chini tu kwa ajili ya kutafuta chakula.* mkia ukikatika ng'ombe hawezi kuazima kufukuzia nzi, linda heshima yako ukiipoteza hutaweza kuazima heshima ya mtu mwingine kujiheshimisha. Mchana mwema.

Tujikumbushe *Wazee wanasema ni vizuri tucheke kidogo. Ng'ombe akiwa na birthday naomba kondoo wote mlete maua. Simba akikukimbiza ukikutana na pundamlia(zebra) ukirukia mgongoni simba atasimama kama gari?Kama hujawahi kuonja ladha ya sabuni muoshe mbwa. Najiwazia tuu hapa hata sina point, ukimpa fundi cherehani ashone dera la nyangumi!! Hivi kati ya hawa nani anachukia mwanga? Mwizi, kahaba na popo? Ee Mungu naomba unipe bunduki lakini nisiitumie*Wewe endelea kujifanya serious udhani kuna mtu atakusifia una hekima! Cheka ndugu yangu

Crews that fight forest fires in Oregon are now so heavily Hispanic that in 2003, the Oregon Department of Forestry required that crew chiefs be bilingual. In 2006, the department started forcing out veterans. Jaime Pickering, who used to run a squad of 20 firefighters, says the rule means “job losses for Americans—the white people.” Zita Wilensky, a 16-year veteran, was the only white employee of Miami-Dade County Domestic Violence Unit. Her co-workers made fun of her and called her gringa and Americana. Miss Wilensky says her boss gave her 60 days to learn Spanish, and fired her when she failed to do so. It is increasingly common, therefore, for Americans to be penalized because they cannot speak Spanish, but employers who insist that workers speak English are guilty of discrimination. In 2001, the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission forced a small Catholic college in San Antonio to pay $2.4 million to housekeepers who were required to speak English at work. There are now about 45 million Hispanics in the country. What will the status of Spanish be when there are 130 million Hispanics, as the Census Bureau projects for 2050? In 2000, President Bill Clinton decided that the prohibition against discrimination because of “national origin” in the Civil Rights Act of 1964 meant that if a foreigner cannot speak to a government agency in his own language he is a victim. Executive Order 13166 required all local governments that receive federal money (all of them, essentially) to translate official documents into any language spoken by at least 3,000 people in the area or 10 percent of the local population. It also required interpreters for non-English speakers. In 2002, the Office of Management and Budget estimated that hospitals alone would spend $268 million every year implementing Executive Order 13166, and state departments of motor vehicles would spend $8.5 million. OMB estimated that communicating with food stamp recipients who don’t speak English would cost $25.2 million per year.

Go left for a quicker path that just has a bunch of rolling boulders, or go left for a lengthier path with Bob-ombs and several gaps. Both paths