Ninja Time Quotes

..."Fun?" you ask. "Weren't feminists these grim-faced, humorless, antifamily, karate-chopping ninjas who were bitter because they couldn't get a man?" Well, in fact the problem was that all too many of them HAD gotten a man, married him, had his kids, and then discovered that, as mothers, they were never supposed to have their own money, their own identity, their own aspirations, time to pee, or a brain. And yes, some women indeed became bad-tempered as a result. After all, no anger, no social change.

P.S. You'll have to meet with Dan's principal when you get back. He got in trouble for doing ninja moves in class. Don't worry. This happens all the time.

Two hours. More than enough time to kidnap a man. Or to slice his throat, bury him in the forest, and steal his magic project. How the hell did de Harven fit into it? Did he surprise the thieves? Of course, Adam Kamen could've killed his uber-bodyguard and bolted with the goods. Because he was secretly a ninja, adept at mortal combat and vanishing into thin air. Yes, that was it. Case solved.

Faster than the devil *times* Sharper than wind! That's the ultimate law of the hero!!

Wikkity, every time you punch a ninja…an angel gets its wings

Excuse me? "I am not a damsel in distress. If I were, do you think I could do that?" I point to the two unconscious goons I had taken out." "You're not an average damsel in distress, I'll give you that.

The modern world is full of pundits, poseurs, and mall ninjas. Preparedness is not just about accumulating a pile of stuff. You need practical skills, and those come only with study, training, and practice. Any armchair survivalist with a credit card can buy a set of stylish camouflage fatigues and an "M4gery" carbine encrusted with umpteen accessories. Style points should not be mistaken for genuine skills and practicality.

I'm American so I believe in God. I mean, even if people "invented" God instead of the other way around, God is "real" as far as I'm concerned. Just because something didn't exist before you invented it doesn't mean it doesn't exist after you invented it. You don't stand in front of a speeding care because it's an "invention" and there was a time when it didn't exist. No. You get the hell out of the way.

Time spent laughing is time well spent.

I came home to find three rocks on my desk and a card with a penguin on the front. Seeing it was from Greg, I did a little happy dance as I bounced into my room, reading his inscription. Dearest Fiona, I’m missing you dreadfully. It’s been an age, I don’t think you’ll recognize me when next we meet. I’ve put on ten stone and lost all my hair. And an eye. I hope you fancy a fat bald man with an eye patch. Come out with me on Friday. Finals will finally be over and it’ll be time to celebrate. I’ll pick you up at four. We’ll do a first date do-over, eat at Manganiello’s again, plus a new, improved surprise. Also, FYI: Gentoo penguins mate for life. Whereas Adélie penguins prostitute themselves for rocks. I’d like to be your Gentoo penguin. -Greg P.S. Unless you’re open to a rock arrangement. If so, please find my first down payment enclosed.

What was it about kindness? In my time as Lester Papadopoulos, I had learned to stand up under horrendous verbal abuse and constant life-threatening violence, but the smallest act of generosity could ninja-kick me right in the heart and break me into a blubbering mess of emotions.

Three times now... We've fought world wars for our own nations, our own villages. We've hurt one another. We've hated one another. That hatred bred a lust for power, and that lust for power created ME. I was a Jinchuuriki, the embodiment of hatred and power. And I hated this world, and all the people in it... I wanted to destroy it with my own hands. The exact same thing Akatsuki is trying to do today. But one man, one ninja from Konoha stopped me. I was his enemy, yet he wept for me! I hurt him, yet he called me his friend! He saved me! My enemy, my fellow Jinchuuriki... He suffered the same pain as me, yet bore no ill will! There are no enemies here because we've all suffered at Akatsuki's hand! SO THERE IS NO SAND, NO STONE, NO LEAF, NO MIST, NO CLOUD! THERE ARE ONLY SHINOBI! And if you still hold a grudge against the Sand, then when this war is over, come and take my head instead! Our enemies are after the friend who saved my life! If they take him, if we hand him over, our world is finished! I want to protect him, and I want to protect our world! But I'm too young to protect it all on my own! All of you lend me your aid!

I had one too," Daniel said. He was quiet for a minute. "Do you think after Trenton, we could get married and settle down in an apartment in New York City or somewhere? I could be an industrial designer, and you could fight crime like a part-time ninja assassin." I almost laughed, but then I stopped myself, because I knew it would come out as a sob. I was quiet for a while as I composed myself. "Yeah," I said. "Yeah, that would be awsome.

 Dear Friend, Thank you for your thoughtfulness. I am so lucky to have you in my life, especially after that time I hit you with my car and salted the earth around your house.

What are you doing?" my mom asked. One side of her mouth curled up. "I'm trying to move that cup." My parents laughed. I concentrated on the coffee cup, but it didn't budge. "I guess I'll have to work on this telekinesis thing. It'll come in handy when Ben is hogging the TV remote and forcing me to watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles for the fifty-millionth time.

Some people seem to have a black belt in selfishness... ninja narcissists with no regard to how they impact those around them… but at the same time, a master at the art of playing victim.

Although it seemed like such a simple thing, for the first time in my life I realized the importance of an introduction. An introduction by a mutual friend buys instant credibility, especially when the mutual friend was universally liked—as

... I shook myself, trying to figure out what I should do and who I should be. Defaulting to pragmatic me was easiest because it was where I lived most of the time. I was good at bottling my frustrations and disappointments, especially when they didn't really matter. - brought tears to my eyes btw -

We are broken. Our ways are apart. Still we laugh together and taunt. We fight and get hurt... Still we don't stop! We spread love among us, With the scent of believe. We write on live. Our dreams are shattered. We think to move on, But scared to miss each other. We smirk when someone scolds, But we drink a jar of poison each time. We die and born everyday. We rely on each other. We get furious. We tease and never step back. We listen but never act on. For public we are mature, But among us we are childish. We act like ninjas among us. And we love to stay like this... Among us forever! Because we are siblings.

be cool to everyone, all the time, because everyone needs it even if it doesn’t seem like they do.

just like time, once we’ve spent attention, we can never get it back.

Wow, it really got you," Hunter says, his voice laced with concern. "What did?" "The gas.

You asked me once to tell you what I'd do if my greatest victory became my greatest loss. Well, here's my answer: I make my greatest loss into my greatest victory.

No girl has ever had this effect on me! She's taking up so much of my attention, I'm having a hard time smoking cigarettes and drinking whiskey!

A stealthy ninja monkey she was not.

Yeah, I've seen you with Snoopy, you know,” Min said, a hint of annoyance in her voice. "You two seem to be spending a lot of time together.

Prudence Katherine Pierce-Keller, time-traveling ninja.” “Oh, ho… funny.” I laughed and then faked an angry look. “Lawrence Alma Coleman the Third clearly likes to live dangerously.

Shinobi from the first have been utilized by generals since ancient times with a great emphasis. It is the case that one man and his strategy can destroy tens of thousand of enemies, attain virtue and achievements, or make his way where there is no path. Even if you try to block these men with an iron gate, they can outwit you in such a skilled way, as if guided by a divine power. None could do better than them.

Then headed for the kitchen. Fuck. I headed through the lounge… …just as two indistinct pitch-black masses, Kevlar laden, shotguns raised, crept ninja-like through the front door. This time, I didn't even get a bellowed warning. The lead ninja, upon seeing me, sprang forward… and crushed me face flat to the floor. That hurt. It was five long hard seconds before he eased up an iota so I could take a breath, "Hello again, Dennis. Busy night?" I managed from somewhere under his arm or knee or gun-butt. "Bean-bags or bullets?" "Bullets," said Harry. "Easy up, lads. He's scarpered…" Dennis got off of me, locked his shotgun and helped me up, "Sorry," he said. "No worries…

She really talks to you, doesn't she?" She asked. "it's not just you talking to her. She talks BACK." "hel, half the time she starts it." I said, half-defensively. "I know it's weird." "Well, yes, it's weird. Technically, I think it's insane. But who am I to judge?" Maggie shrugged. "I live in a house most people view as the setting of a horror movie waiting to happen, with an army of security ninjas and a couple dozen epileptic dogs for company. I don't think I'm qualified to pass judgement on 'weird'.

You’re cutting it close.” “That doesn’t even make sense,” she replied. “Think about it for a minute, and it will,” I said. Zoe’s eyes darted back and forth and the gears in her head clearly cranked. In the time it took her to think, I sat in the seat behind her. Finally she turned around. “I still don’t get it,” she said. Poor Zoe. That was the joke,

Being good at something feels great. Playing ninja turtles with two little boys for hours on end is sometimes less great. It’s so easy to hop on a plane or say yes to one more meeting or project, to get that little buzz of being good at something, or the pleasure bump of making someone happy, or whatever it is that drives you. And many of us continue to pretend we don’t have a choice—the success just happened, and we’re along for the ride. The opportunities kept coming, and anyone in our position would have jumped to meet them. But we’re the ones who keep putting up the chairs. If I work in such a way that I don’t have enough energy to give to my marriage, I need to take down some chairs. If I say yes to so many work things that my kids only get to see tired mommy, I need to take down some chairs. I know I’ve let my work win sometimes. I know I’ve gotten the math wrong, sometimes unwittingly, believing I could fit in more than I could. There have been times I’ve hidden behind my work, because work is easier to control than a hard conversation with someone you love. That’s part of the challenge of stewarding a calling, for all of us: you get it wrong sometimes. And part of stewarding that calling is sometimes taking down some chairs. We have more authority, and therefore, more responsibility than we think. We decide where the time goes. There’s so much freedom in that, and so much responsibility

wrist. "Odd question coming from someone who spends most of her time sneaking around." I glared at him. I resented the reference to my super ninja moves as "sneaking around." "Displaying superior stealth" or "using viper-like reflexes" would have been much better. Raveling, Emma (2011-09-16). Whirl (Ondine Quartet Book 1) (p. 140). Mandorla Publishing. Kindle Edition.

Suddenly, I missed Jenna so much that it was almost a physical ache. I wanted to hold her hand, and hear her say something that would make this whole situation funny instead of incredibly screwed up. Archer would’ve been nice, too. He probably would’ve raised an eyebrow in that annoying/hot way he had, and made a dirty joke about Elodie possessing me. Or Cal. He wouldn’t say anything, but just his presence would make me feel better. And Dad- “Sophie,” Mom said, shaking me out of my reverie. “I don’t…I don’t even know how to start explaining all of this to you.” She looked at me, her eyes red. “I meant to, so many times, but everything was always so…complicated. Do you hate me?” I took a deep breath. “Of course not. I mean, I’m not thrilled. And I totally reserve the right to angst over all this later. But honestly, Mom? Right now, I’m so happy to see you that I wouldn’t care if you’re secretly a ninja sent from the future to destroy kittens and rainbows.” She chuckled, a choked and watery sound. “I missed you so much, Soph.” We hugged, my face against her collarbone. “I want the whole story, though,” I said, my words muffled. “All of it on the table.” She nodded. “Absolutely. After we talk to Aislinn.” Pulling back, I grimaced. “So how exactly are you related to her? Are you guys like, cousins?” “We’re sisters.” I stared at her. “Wait. So you’re like, a Brannick Brannick? But you don’t even have red hair.” Mom got off the bed, twisting her ponytail into a bun. “It’s called dye, Soph. Now, come on. Aislinn is already in a mood.” “Yeah, picked up on that,” I muttered, shoving the covers off and standing up

The smell hit me and I recoiled from Jake. "Jesus, Jake. Why didn't you just take a shit when we stopped?" I wrinkled my nose in disgust and gave him a dirty look. "You could have at least cracked a window or something! Today is not the day for ninja fart!" "What are you talking about? I didn't do anything." "Riiiight. I know you let one rip." I said, dragging out the word. Daphne growled and her body went rigid in my arms. "See? Even the dog doesn't believe you! Your ass smells like death warmed over, buddy.

The wind blew stronger. Masakichi had to walk into its resistance, but his pace did not slow. The further he went, the faster he moved, soundlessly and forcefully. The earth smelled like rain. He had to find a way out. Alive. His grandfather Jinzaemon had taught him how to find a straight path, even in the wind. Jinzaemon was born in 1848, twenty years before Japan first opened its doors to the West. He had taught Masakichi all about ninjutsu. “If you want to go straight against the wind, find a path in its folds and pass through it,” he had said, al- though he’d never actually taught his grandson how to find it. Still, Masakichi had begged him. “Even if I teach you where the path is, you won’t be able to see it because the wind is always changing. If I show you the path in the wind one minute, the wind will shift and the path will disappear the next.” “Then how do I find it?” Masakichi had asked, worried he’d never be able to do it. “You must find it anew each time,” his grandfather smiled. “The only way to see the path in the wind is to become the wind itself.

Kid, time’s up,” Hunter said to the boy on Santa’s lap. “I’m not finished!” the boy cried. Hunter bent over, until their faces were level. The kid reminded him of Cupid,whose chubby face hid a diabolical brain intent on replacing Santa as the most beloved holiday figure. Hunter had lost more than one of his platoon members after they were lured into Cupid’s boiling pots of chocolate. He’d learned not to trust kids. “If you don’t want me to slip you a poison gumdrop in your sleep, get off Santa’s lap,” Hunter whispered. The boy burst into tears. “Next!” Hunter barked.

How many did you eat?” I asked. “Eight,” Slug answered, breathing heavily. “Eight quesadilla triangles?” I said, grossed out. Slug shook his head. “No… eight full quesadillas,” he said, again pronouncing it wrong. “Dude,” I said, my jaw dropping to the floor. “That’s, like, um… four times eight… thirty four slices!” Naomi quickly corrected me. “Thirty two slices.” “Thirty two slices!” I repeated. “This kid can pack ‘em away!” Wyatt said, bringing another plate of quesadillas to the group. “Gidgy…” Slug said, reaching for his twin sister, who was scooting away from his greasy fingers. “I might need a stomach transplant after this.” “Gross,” she said. “Don’t touch me. And stomach transplants aren’t a real thing.” “Giiiiidgy!” Slug groaned. “We’re twins! Your stomach is an exact match for mine! Only you can save me! I only need half of it. The other half’ll grow back!” “Dude,” Gidget said, raising an eyebrow. “You can’t have my stomach.” “But what if I need it?” Slug whined, sliding lower in his chair. “You’re just gonna—” And then Slug let out the grossest burp I’d ever heard in my life. It was loud, and it was bad. Like, my eyes started watering. Slug instantly sat up in his seat with a smile beaming across his face. “All better,” he said, reaching for another quesadilla on Wyatt’s plate. “Mmmm, gimme, gimme, gimme!

A ninja or shinobi is a mixture of spy, guerrilla tactician, night time infiltration agent, explosives expert, thief and arsonist. The ninja have been named in various ways in many parts of Japan, however, historically they were known as ‘shinobi’ before they became ninja. Both of the names ‘shinobi’ (also shinobi no mono) and ninja come, in the main, from the same combination of Chinese ideograms , which can be read in the two ways described above. It is a misconception that the ninja are a separate force outside of the samurai, as they are in fact a subgroup of the samurai with some members being from the foot soldier or Ashigaru class; this will be discussed in depth later in this volume. A ninja could come from any class in Japan but many were low level samurai retainers.

He leaned forward to get a closer look and received an instant rebuke from a nearby woman. “Otstupit,” she said firmly. Paris turned to Mother and whispered, “Did she just call me stupid?” “Otstupit,” he said. “It means ‘back away.’ She’s the guard.” Paris raised an eyebrow because she didn’t look like a guard. She was in her midsixties and barely five feet tall. She had gray hair, sensible shoes, and wore a sweater over a long-sleeved shirt, even though it was the middle of summer. “Really?” he asked. “It’s tradition in Russian art museums,” Mother answered. “Rather than imposing guards in uniforms they have…” “What? Grannies in cardigans?” “Pretty much,” Mother said with a smirk. “But don’t be fooled. She’s probably ex-KGB. If you get too close to the art, she’ll go from babushka to ninja in no time flat.

Three kids against five robotic school helpers. Well, four kids. Beck was still in the air vent under locker G42. His Tenderfoot Shell waited patiently, standing in place at the middle of the dead-end corridor in the girls’ locker room. One of the five SPUDs that had us cornered leapt through the air at Bloom. The world around me came to a standstill, like someone had paused a game. I saw Bloom. I saw the SPUD jumping toward her. I saw Lexi, huddled up and afraid. I don’t know what happened to me in that split-second, but I reacted before I even had time to think about it. Balling a tight fist, I threw my hand into the air in front of the SPUD that was going for Bloom. My right forearm scraped against the small robot’s face, and then my elbow shot forward, landing a blow right on the SPUD’s body, sending his arms and legs flying in all directions.

Chapter 28 Genghis Cat Gracing Whatever Shithole This Is, Washington, USA You can all relax now, because I am here. What did you think? I’d run for safety at the whim of a fucking parrot with under-eye bags like pinched scrotums? Did you suspect I—a ninja with feather-wand fastness and laser-pointer focus—had the spine of a banana slug? Then you are a shit-toned oink with the senses of a sniveling salamander. Then you don’t know Genghis Cat. I look around and can see that we are surrounded by The Bird Beasts, those crepe-faced, hair ball–brained fuck goblins. I intensely dislike these lumpy whatthefuckareyous who straddle between the Mediocre Servant and animal worlds, trying to be one thing and really not being, like imitation crabmeat in a sushi log that is really just fucking whitefish and WE ALL KNOW IT. “Would you like a little of the crabmeat, Genghis?” my Mediocre Servants seemed to ask with their blobfish lips and stupid faces. “THAT’S FUCKING WHITEFISH, YOU REGURGITATED MOLES!” I’d yowl, and then I’d steal the sushi log and run off and growl very much so they couldn’t have it back, and later I would pee on their night pillows for good measure. I cannot imagine their lives before me. We mustn’t think of those bleak dark ages. But the Beasts are dangerous. I have watched them morph and chew into a house. I have seen them with spider legs and second stomachs and camouflage skins. I have seen them tear the legs off a horse and steal flight from those with feathers. Orange and I have lost family to their fuckish appetites. But they are still fakish faking beasts and I’m fucking Genghis Cat. They are imitation crab and Genghis is filet mignon Fancy Feast, bitch. Probably I should come clean here and tell you that I’m immortal. I always suspected it but can confirm it now that I have surpassed the allocated nine lives. I’m somewhere around life 884, give or take seventy-eight. Some mousers have called me a god, but I insist on modesty. I also don’t deny it. I might be a god. It seems to fit. It feels right. A stealthy, striped god with an exotically spotted tummy—it seems certain, doesn’t it to you? I’m 186 percent sure at this point. Orange insists we stay away from the Beasts all the time, but I only let Orange think he’s in charge. Orange is incredibly sensitive, despite being the size of a Winnebago. He hand-raised each of my kittens and has terrible nightmares, and I have to knead my paws on him to calm him down. Orange and I have a deal. I will kill anything that comes to harm Orange and Orange will continue to be the reason I purr.

We've known each other for years." "In every sense of the word." Tanya gave him a nudge and they shared another laugh. In every sense of the word... Daisy felt a cold stab of jealousy at their intimate moment. It didn't make sense. Her relationship with Liam wasn't real. But the more time she spent with him, the more the line blurred and she didn't know where she stood. "Daisy is a senior software engineer for an exciting new start-up that's focused on menstrual products," Liam said. "She's in line for a promotion to product manager. The company couldn't run without her." Daisy grimaced. "I think that's a bit of an exaggeration." "Take the compliment," Tanya said. "Liam doesn't throw many around... At least, he didn't used to." At least, he didn't used to... Was the bitch purposely trying to goad her with little reminders about her shared past with Liam? Daisy's teeth gritted together. Well, she got the message. Tanya was a cool, bike-riding, smooth-haired venture capitalist ex who clearly wasn't suffering in any way after her journey. She was probably so tough she didn't need any padding in her seat. Maybe she just sat on a board or the bare steel frame. Liam ran a hand through his hair, ruffling the dark waves into a sexy tangle. Was he subconsciously grooming himself for Tanya? Or was he just too warm? "What are you riding now?" "Triumph Street Triple 675. I got rid of the Ninja. Not enough power." "You like the naked styling?" Liam asked. Tanya smirked. "Naked is my thing, as you know too well." Naked is my thing... As you know too well... Daisy tried to shut off the snarky voice in her head, but something about Tanya set her possessive teeth on edge. "Do you want to join us inside?" Liam asked. "We're going to have a coffee before we finish the loop." Say no. Say no. Say no. "Sounds good." Tanya took a few steps and looked back over her shoulder. "Do you need a hand, Daisy?" Only to slap you.

The canals had big, thick reeds, almost like trees, growing up from them so it was hard to see what was inside the reeds or to the other side of the canals. And then all of a sudden, as we were walking we saw something run through the weeds in one of the canals. It was large and black, a blur it was moving so fast. Now we were all chattering at once. What was that? “That was a cougar. It had to be a cougar,” I said. “No, that was a bear. Looked like a bear to me. That was a bear,” Jerry said. “You know when we invaded a lot of animals escaped from the zoo. It could have been a cougar.” Jerry again said it was a bear and then one of the other guys said, “There are no bears in this part of the world.” This silly argument went on for quite a while. We were all laughing and having a good time. Our mission had been pointless, so this helped lighten the mood. Someone even said they thought it was a ninja because a ninja is just as plausible as a bear or a cougar in the middle of Iraq.

I forced you to the edge of the room, you jumped over my shoulder. Not many students, even with three or four years of training, could execute that ploy.” “I never studied with anyone, though.” “It’s nothing to hide. You must have had a teacher, and a good one. Who was he?” The boy thought for a moment, then said, “Oh, I remember how I learned that.” “Who taught you?” “It wasn’t a human being.” “A goblin maybe?” “No, a hemp seed.” “What?” “A hemp seed.” “How could you learn from a hemp seed?” “Well, way up in the mountains there are some of those fighters—you know, the ones who seem to disappear right in front of your eyes. I watched them train a couple of times.” “You mean the ninja, don’t you? It must have been the Iga group you saw. But what does that have to do with a hemp seed?” “Well, after hemp’s planted in the spring, it doesn’t take long before a little sprout comes up.” “Yes?” “You jump over it. Every day you practice jumping back and forth. When it gets warmer, the sprout grows fast—nothing else grows as fast—so you have to jump higher every day. If you don’t practice every day, it’s not long before the hemp is so high you can’t jump over it.” “I see.

Two fifty-five. It’s go time.” Chris unlocks the doors and gets out and hides behind an oak tree in the yard. My adrenaline is pumping as I hop out of Chris’s car, grab Kitty’s bike out of her trunk, and push it a few houses. Then I set it on the ground and drape myself over it in a dramatic heap. Then I pull out the bottle of fake blood I bought for this very purpose and squirt some on my jeans--old jeans I’ve been planning on giving to Goodwill. As soon as I see Trevor’s car approaching, I start to pretend sob. From behind the tree Chris whispers, “Tone it down a little!” I immediately stop sobbing and start moaning. Trevor’s car pulls up beside me. He rolls down the window. “Lara Jean? Are you okay?” I whimper. “No…I think I might have sprained my ankle. It really hurts. Can you give me a ride home?” I’m willing myself to tear up, but it’s harder to cry on cue than I would have thought. I try to think about sad things--the Titanic, old people with Alzheimer’s, Jamie Fox-Pickle dying--but I can’t focus. Trevor regards me suspiciously. “Why are you riding your bike in this neighborhood?” Oh no, I’m losing him! I start talking fast but not too fast. “It’s not my bike; it’s my little sister’s. She’s friends with Sara Healey. You know, Dan Healey’s little sister? They live over there.” I point to their house. “I was bringing it to her--oh my God, Trevor. Do you not believe me? Are you seriously not going to give me a ride?” Trevor looks around. “Do you swear this isn’t a trick?” Gotcha! “Yes! I swear I don’t have your name, okay? Please just help me up. It really hurts.” “First show me your ankle.” “Trevor! You can’t see a sprained ankle!” I whimper and make a show of trying to stand up, and Trevor finally turns the car off and gets out. He stoops down and pulls me to my feet and I try to make my body heavy. “Be gentle,” I tell him. “See? I told you I didn’t have your name.” Trevor pulls me up by my armpits, and over his shoulder Chris creeps up behind him like a ninja. She dives forward, both hands out, and claps them on his back hard. “I got you!” she screams. Trevor shrieks and drops me, and I narrowly escape falling for real. “Damn it!” he yells. Gleefully Chris says, “You’re done, sucker!” She and I high-five and hug. “Can you guys not celebrate in front of me?” he mutters. Chris holds her hand out. “Now gimme gimme gimme.” Sighing, Trevor shakes his head and says, “I can’t believe I fell for that, Lara Jean.” I pat him on the back. “Sorry, Trevor.” “What if I had had your name?” he asks me. “What would you have done then?” Huh. I never thought of that. I shoot Chris an accusing glare. “Wait a minute! What if he had had my name?” “That was a chance we were willing to take,” she says smoothly.

The village square teemed with life, swirling with vibrant colors and boisterous chatter. The entire village had gathered, celebrating the return of their ancestral spirit. Laughter and music filled the air, carrying with it an energy that made Kitsune smile. Paper lanterns of all colors floated lazily above, their delicate glow reflecting on the smiling faces below. Cherry blossoms caught in the playful breeze, their sweet, earthy scent settling over the scene. At the center, villagers danced with unbridled joy, the rhythm of the taiko drums and the melody of flutes guiding their steps. To the side, a large table groaned under the weight of a feast. Sticky rice balls, steamed dumplings, seaweed soup, sushi, and more filled the air with a mouthwatering aroma. As she approached the table, she was greeted warmly by the villagers, who offered her food, their smiles genuine and welcoming. She filled a plate and sat at a table with Goro and Sota, overlooking the celebration. The event brought back a flood of memories of a similar celebration from her childhood—a time when everything was much simpler and she could easily answer the question who are you? The memory filled her heart with a sweet sadness, a reminder of what she lost and what had carved the road to where she was now. Her gaze fell on the dancing villagers, but she wasn’t watching them. Not really. Her attention was fully embedded in her heart ache, longing for the past, for the life that was so cruelly ripped away from her. “I think... I think I might know how to answer your question,” she finally said, her voice soft and steady, barely audible over the cacophony of festivity around them. “Oh?” Goro responded, his face alight with intrigue. “I would have to tell you my story.” Kitsune’s eyes reflected the somber clouds of her past. Goro swallowed his bite of food before nodding. “Let us retire to the dojo, and you can tell me.” They retreated from the bustling square, leaving behind the chaos of the celebration. The sounds of laughter and chatter and drums carried away by distance. The dojo, with its bamboo and sturdy jungle planks, was bathed in the soft luminescence of the moonlight, the surface of its wooden architecture glistening faintly under the glow. They stepped into the silent tranquility of the building, and Kitsune made her way to the center, the smooth, cool touch of the polished wooden floor beneath her providing a sense of peace. Assuming the lotus position, she calmed herself, ready to speak of memories she hadn’t confronted in a long time. Not in any meaningful way at least. Across from her, Goro settled, his gaze intense yet patient, encouraging her with a gentle smile like he somehow already understood her story was hard to verbalize.

I turned and entered the airport with my escort. Suddenly, I had a horrible realization: in order to return to the flight line I needed to move through a modern international airport complete with metal detectors and X-ray machines and I had a loaded pistol in my fanny pack. And, because of the ongoing civil war, security was beefed up and the guards were extra wary. Before we reached the first checkpoint, I pretended that I needed to use the restroom and told my escort to go on ahead. I needed to think. One option was to drop my pistol in a trash can and exit the airport, later claiming I lost the gun somehow. The lost-gun option had serious flaws. I couldn’t ditch my pistol because I had signed it out by serial number. Police could easily trace the gun back to me. My personal interpretation of the, “no weapons” order would probably not be an effective defense at my court marshal. My other option was to try and sneak through the airport onto the flight line, somehow avoiding a gauntlet of security checkpoints. This was the ninja option. This daunting course of action was fraught with serious danger. If guards confronted me and caught me with a loaded pistol I knew I would not have a pleasant day. There was no telling where that situation would lead; there was a real possibility I could spend time in a Yemeni prison. Despite the risks I decided on the ninja option. I figured I might have one slim advantage. Maybe the guards would remember me coming through the airport from the flight-line side with the embassy official and not pay me much attention. I was sweating bullets as I approached the first checkpoint. I tried to act casual and confident, not furtive and suspicious like a criminal. I waited until the guard looked away, his attention elsewhere and boldly walked behind him past the checkpoint. When I approached the X-ray and metal detectors I strode right past the line of people, bypassing the machines. I had to play it that way. I could not hang out near the detectors waiting for guards to look the other way and then sneak past; there were just too many. As I brazenly strode around each checkpoint I feared to hear a sudden barked command, rushing feet behind me, and hands spinning me around to face angry guards with drawn weapons. The last part of my mission to get on the airfield was tricky and nerveracking. Imagine being at an American airport in the gate area where people board the airplanes. Then imagine trying to sneak out a Jetway or access door without being stopped. I remembered the door I had used to enter the terminal and luckily it was unlocked. I picked my moment and quickly slipped out the door onto the airfield. I boldly strode across the airfield, never looking behind me until I reached my plane. Finally, I turned and looked back the way I came and saw … nothing. No one was pursuing me. I was in the midst of an ongoing civil war, surrounded by fresh bomb craters and soldiers carrying soviet rifles, but as scary situations go, so far Tiger Rescue was a relaxing walk in the park compared to Operation Ninja Escape.

Yup. I’m a ninja. But back then I didn’t give a damn about ninja. The hokage is the top ninja of the village. But this isn’t a tale about a boy who aims to become hokage. That was my dad’s story. This is none other than my story. However, since I’m the hokage’s son, I can’t help that my dad ends up being involved in my story. The shinobi whose dream came true, the hokage and my story begins when I was a brat who sulked about his dad not paying enough attention to him. I’ll say this one more time, this is my story. Except, for just a little bit at the start, it’s the story of me and my dad.

Give him a minute,” Gidget said. After a second, Slug stretched his arms out and drifted back to sleep. “He’ll be in and out for the rest of the night,” Gidget said. “He’ll wake up around midnight and complain about how he can’t sleep. Then he’ll play videogames until about four or five in the morning. Then he’ll sleep like a brick until it’s time to go to school.

train, it wasn't surprising on how many of Jiro's moves mirrored Hanzo's. "He should be calling me right about…" Jiro heard the shower being turned off from upstairs and he knew Hanzo more than likely had forgotten to bring in a towel. Jiro never understood why humans couldn't just shake themselves dry as he and other animals did. "Jiro! Come here, boy!" Hanzo's voice resonated throughout the house. Jiro didn't waste any time running upstairs to Hanzo. He already knew what the man wanted, so Jiro made his way over to the laundry basket filled with clean laundry, and grabbed a towel out. "Good boy!" Jiro barked and made his way back downstairs. Hanzo would be another twenty minutes or so, so Jiro was going to practice some of the moves that he had seen Hanzo do.

mean, yeah, we catch the occasional kid selling black market candy out of their backpack or someone giving face tattoos in the bathroom with a marker, but it’s never anything really BAD. Just a bunch’a shenanigans and never anything we can’t handle. Well, except for that one time… But other than the rare mini-dumpster fire, being a Hall Monitor is totally awesome! Well, MOST of it is. Look, I’m not gonna lie – there IS one major downside to it – when you’re a Hall Monitor, nobody’s exactly lining up to be friends with you. They’re forever thinking you’re gonna bust them or something, even when you’re NOT in uniform. Some kids just have trust issues, I guess. But don’t worry about me because it’s not like I have ZERO friends. There’s another dude on the force named Chad Schulte, who I consider my BEST friend even though we never kick it OUTSIDE of school together. I think me and Chad hit it off so well

You cannot force the apple tree to give you an apple. Instead, allow the tree to be a tree, and you will in time have its fruit.

Swords, shields, daggers and ninja stars flew all over the place as our two armies fought near the middle of the battlefield. Our front line of guards was fully buffed, so they charged in quickly with their shields. The archers and rogues stayed behind our shield bearers and launched their projectiles. The enemy ninjas and thieves bounced and jumped everywhere as they dodged our arrows and daggers. A group of Team Scorpion rogues started to stack blocks of dirt to make columns again, but this time, they made really, really tall columns. Our ballistae shot down the columns as they went up, but Team Scorpion built them back up immediately, and they doubled up the columns to resist our ballistae. Once the new structures were completed, the enemy took cover behind it and waited for our guards to arrive.

Students lined up on the stage, reading sheets of paper that probably had the schedule for the morning. The stage that Gavin had fixed looked awesome and solid as a rock. In fact, if I didn’t know the corner was busted earlier in the week, I’d never be able to tell. Overnight, a crew had set up a few hundred foldout chairs, lining them in rows for the audience. The cafeteria lights had been switched off, and the talent show stage lights were being tested, making the room look like some sort of dance club. The only students in the cafeteria were those who had acts in the show. Everyone was standing around, laughing and having a good time. It actually felt relieving to see others enjoying themselves. The missing penguin had been in everyone’s thoughts all week, but nobody knew that Hotcakes might’ve been just the tip of the iceberg. The rest of the sixth graders at Buchanan would arrive when homeroom dismissed, which was still about twenty minutes away. The first half of the school day had been dedicated to Zoe’s talent show, which was killer because it meant all those classes would be put on hold. It also meant

For the first time in my life, I was looking forward to gym.

HE HAD BEEN trained in a hidden monastery by the ninjas of Xi’en. He had studied yoga and meditation under an Avrantic guru. His strength, stamina and ability to withstand pain were legendary. He was as silent as a shadow of a black cat in the night, as deadly as a cobra’s fang. He moved like a panther, taut and sinuous. He could climb up rock-faces with his bare hands and stay underwater for hours without breathing. His skill and luck at love and cards was legendary, and he had almost beaten the Civilian at chess once. He was wondering what to wear. When in doubt, Black is the answer, the dance teacher in Ektara had said. He dressed, swiftly. It had been a long time since he had worn the original costume. Black silk clothes, padded boots. The cloth around the face, with slits for his eyes. The fire-resistant Xi’en lava-worm black silk cape. Of course, disguises and camouflage were fun, and often necessary, but this was his favourite. He strapped on his Necessity Belt. He had been all around the world and seen many beautiful things, but this was the finest example of vaman craftsmanship he had ever seen. He opened a trunk under his bed and started thinking about his assignment. His fingers, trained by years of practice, began sliding things into the right pockets on his belt. Into the little sheaths went the darts, the crossbow bolts and the blackened throwing knives. With practiced ease his fingers found the little pouches, side by side, one after the other, for the wires, the brass knuckles, the vial of oil, the sachet of poisonous powder and the shuriken, the little blackened poisoned-tipped discs the ninjas used. On his back was the slim bag that contained a little black chalk, his stamp and his emergency scarab. If he was killed or captured, it would fly to the Civilian. The message inside said Killed or captured. Sorry. He slung a pouch over his shoulder. It contained his blowpipes, ropes, strangling cords and cloth-covered grappling hooks. Over his other shoulder went the light and specially constructed crossbow. The flat bag filled with what he called his ‘special effects’ went on his back. He felt a little naked. He strapped on little black daggers in sheaths to his left arm and outer thighs. He tapped his left foot thrice on the floor and felt the blade slide to the front of the boot. He tapped again and it slid back to the heel. (...) He slipped on his gloves. Finally, he picked up the sheath that contained his first love. It was the one love he’d always been faithful to, the long, curved, deadly and beautiful Artaxerxian dagger that glittered and shone even in the candlelight as he pulled it out and held it lovingly. It was the only weapon he had never blackened. The Silver Dagger. He attached it to the Necessity Belt. Now he was dressed to kill.

Sleep with a blade in your hand, and pray you wake in time to use it.

Being on time is for the birds,

series introduces young readers to different cultures and times in history, as well as to the world’s legacy of ancient myth and storytelling. She and her husband, writer Will Osborne (author of Magic Tree House: The Musical), live in northwestern Connecticut with their three dogs. Ms. Osborne is coauthor of the companion Magic Tree House® Fact Trackers with Will and with her sister, Natalie Pope Boyce.

Kiernan spins around nervously, eyes flicking between the door we just entered and one at the other end of the room. “You forgot to mention the guards. Kind of important, Pru!” “Why? You’ve got a gun. And Evie says your friend there is a baby ninja.

It just makes so much sense to say meese!” I insisted. “We could say, ‘there goes a flock of geese!’ So then we could also say, ‘there goes a flock of meese!’” Zoe swallowed hard. “My goodness, for the first time in my life, I can actually feel myself getting dumber from our conversations! A flock is a term only used for birds!” I shrugged my shoulders. “Sorry,” I said sarcastically. “Then I guess it would be a herd of meese.” “Meese isn’t a word!” Zoe shouted angrily.

Voicemail is seriously underrated as a communication medium. It’s one-way communication instead of two-way. As such, the caller leaving the message gets to the root of the issue in seconds rather than in minutes and by the time you call them back, you’re both halfway through the conversation that needs to happen.

Modern art is a waste of time. When the zombies show up, you can't worry about art. Art is for people who aren't worried about zombies. Besides zombies and icebergs, there are other things that Soap has been thinking about. Tsunamis, earthquakes, Nazi dentists, killer bees, army ants, black plague, old people, divorce lawyers, sorority girls, Jimmy Carter, giant quids, rabid foxes, strange dogs, new anchors, child actors, fascists, narcissists, psychologists, ax murderers, unrequited love, footnotes, zeppelins, the Holy Ghost, Catholic priests, John Lennon, chemistry teachers, redheaded men with British accents, librarians, spiders, nature books with photographs of spiders in them, darkness, teachers, swimming pools, smart girls, pretty girls, rich girls, angry girls, tall girls, nice girls, girls with superpowers, giant lizards, blind dates who turn out to have narcolepsy, angry monkeys, feminine hygiene commercials, sitcoms about aliens, things under the bed, contact lenses, ninjas, performances artists, mummies, spontaneous combustion, Soap has been afraid of all of these things at one time or another, Ever since he went to prison, he's realized that he doesn't have to be afraid. All he has to do is come up with a plan. Be prepared. It's just like the Boy Scouts, except you have to be even more prepared. You have to prepare for everything that the Boy Scouts didn't prepare you for, which is pretty much everything.

Several years ago, not long after the terror attacks on September 11, our police department managed to bilk Homeland Security out of a few million bucks so it could arm up and join the national craze of ETF—Extreme Terror Fighting. Never mind that our city is far away from the major metropolitan areas, or that there has been absolutely no sign of any jihadists around here, or that our cops already had plenty of guns and ninja gear. Forget all that—we had to be ready! So in the arms race that followed, our cops somehow got a new tank. And once they learned how to drive it, then, hell, it was time to use it.

Great decision-making comes from the ability to create the time and space to think rationally and intelligently about the issue at hand. Decisions made during periods of panic are likely to be the ones we want to forget about. The Ninja realizes this, remains calm in the face of adversity, and equally calm under the pressure of information overload.

Not unlike a teacher at a Mystical school, or Ninja academy graduate - story-tellers are the Watchful Wizards of worlds. They see that which is otherwise thought to be invisible: your monsters, your villains, your would-be helpers, your dreams, and secret passageways. More importantly – we see you, even if you believe yourself to be invisible. We quietly (and keenly) observe. We craft and create worlds for you to spend time in, where it is perfectly okay (and exciting) to be yourself. We cheer for you when you win victories which others may see as 'small'. We send you best friends and thoughtfully placed serendipities to accompany you as you traverse the shadows of the unknown. We speak words which you may worry are too frightening for you to say out loud, just to show you that it is okay. We try to carefully reveal who your allies are; noting that you do indeed have them.

Surely a young beauty like yourself is lonely, too. It can be a part of the game, if you like.” “Get off,” she said, thoroughly done with this. His answer was to lean in closer. So she kneed him in the groin. As hard as she could. “Aw, ow, dammit!” He doubled over and thudded onto his knees. Jane brushed off her knee, feeling like it had touched something dirty. “Aw, ow, dammit indeed! What’re you thinking?” Jane heard hurried footsteps coming down the stairs. It was Mr. Nobley. “Miss Erstwhile!” He was barefoot in his breeches, his shirt untucked. He glanced down at the groaning man. “Sir Templeton!” “Ow, she kicked me,” said Sir Templeton. “Kneed him, I kneed him,” Jane said. “I don’t kick. Not even when I’m a ninja.” Mr. Nobley stood a moment in silence, looking over the scene. “I hope you remembered to shout ‘Ya’ when taking him down. I hear that is very effective.” “I’m afraid I neglected that bit, but I’ll certainly ‘ya’ from here to London if he ever touches me again.” “Miss Erstwhile, were you perhaps employed by your president’s armed forces in America?” “What? Don’t British women know how to use their knees?” “Happily, I have never put myself in a position to find out.” He stared at the prostrate Sir Templeton. “Did he hurt you?” “Frankly, your arm-yanking earlier was worse.” “I see. Perhaps you should retire to your chambers, Miss Erstwhile. Would you like me to escort you?” “I’m fine,” she said, “as long as there aren’t any other Sir Templetons lurking upstairs.” “Well, I cannot give Colonel Andrews a glowing reference, but I believe the way is safe.” She stepped closer to Mr. Nobley and whispered, “Are you going to out me to Mrs. Wattlesbrook for the servants’ quarters lurking?” “I think,” he said, nudging the prostrate Sir Templeton with his foot, “that you have suffered enough tonight.” Mr. Nobley smiled at her, the first time she had seen his real smile. She wouldn’t go so far as to call it a grin. His lips were closed, but his eyes brightened and the corners of his mouth definitely turned up, creating pleasing little cheek wrinkles on either side as though the smile were in parentheses. It bothered her in a way she couldn’t explain, like feeling itchy but not knowing exactly where to scratch. He was not particularly amused, she saw, but smiled to reassure her. Wait, who wanted to reassure her? Mr. Nobley or the actual man, Actor X? “Thanks. Good night, Mr. Nobley.” “Good night, Miss Erstwhile.” She hesitated, then left, Sir Templeton’s groans following her up the stairs. On the second floor, Aunt Saffronia was emerging from her room, clutching a white shawl over her nightgown. “What was that noise? Is everything all right?” “Yes. It was…your husband. He was being inappropriate.” Aunt Saffronia blinked. “Inebriated?” “Yes.” She nodded slowly. “I’m sorry, Jane.” Jane wasn’t sure if Aunt Saffronia was speaking to Jane the niece or Jane the client. For the first time it didn’t matter; both Janes felt exactly the same. She acknowledged the apology with a nod, went to her room, and locked the door behind her. She thought she was angry but instead she plopped herself down on her bed, put her face in her pillow, and laughed. “What a joke,” she said, sounding to herself like the movie incarnation of Lydia Bennet. “I come for Mr. Darcy, fall for the gardener, and get propositioned by the drunk husband.” Tomorrow would be different. Tomorrow she would play for real. She was going to drive full force into the game, have a staggering good time, and kick the nasty Darcy habit for good. She fell asleep with the ticklish thought of Mr. Nobley’s smile.

Ninja mom's understand that training time is never wasted time.

Ninja's understand that training time is never wasted time.

The Deliverator does not know for sure what happens to the driver in such cases, but he has heard some rumors. Most pizza deliveries happen in the evening hours, which Uncle Enzo considers to be his private time. And how would you feel if you bad to interrupt dinner with your family in order to call some obstreperous dork in a Burbclave and grovel for a late fucking pizza? Uncle Enzo has not put in fifty years serving his family and his country so that, at the age when most are playing golf and bobbling their granddaughters, he can get out of the bathtub dripping wet and lie down and kiss the feet of some sixteenyear- old skate punk whose pepperoni was thirty-one minutes in coming. Oh, God. It makes the Deliverator breathe a little shallower just to think of the idea. But he wouldn't drive for CosaNostra Pizza any other way. You know why? Because there's something about having your life on the line. It's like being a kamikaze pilot. Your mind is clear. Other people -- store clerks, burger flippers, software engineers, the whole vocabulary of meaningless jobs that make up Life in America -- other people just rely on plain old competition. Better flip your burgers or debug your subroutines faster and better than your high school classmate two blocks down the strip is flipping or debugging, because we're in competition with those guys, and people notice these things. What a fucking rat race that is. CosaNostra Pizza doesn't have any competition. Competition goes against the Mafia ethic. You don't work harder because you're competing against some identical operation down the street. You work harder because everything is on the line. Your name, your honor, your family, your life. Those burger flippers might have a better life expectancy -- but what kind of life is it anyway, you have to ask yourself. That's why nobody, not even the Nipponese, can move pizzas faster than CosaNostra. The Deliverator is proud to wear the uniform, proud to drive the car, proud to march up the front walks of innumerable Burbclave homes, a grim vision in ninja black, a pizza on his shoulder, red LED digits blazing proud numbers into the night: 12:32 or 15:15 or the occasional 20:43.

There is an inner teacher,” An-Shu shared, “separate from and more subtle than the outer teacher. The outer teacher takes a human form and explains things to you, and this is extremely helpful, especially in the beginning. But you can become complacent, asking the teacher instead of reflecting on your own experiences and trying things out. The inner teacher is sometimes harder to find, but can give you more subtle and nuanced answers as well. Develop the skill of searching and analyzing your thoughts, memories, and emotions. Then you’ll have better questions for the outer teacher, and get that much more out of our precious time together.

How is your nose?” I asked, anxious and feeling guilty that I might have caused my friend harm. “Fine. It’s not broken. Thank God for that. It would be the fourth time, and I really like the job the last guy did resetting it.

I am SAM, and this is my latest mission. This one’s like a cross between a house of cards and a hand grenade with a missing pin. One wrong move, and—BOOM! The whole thing comes down. I’ve got to be in a dozen different places at just the right time, and in just the right order. Not only that, but this high-tech fortress disguised as a middle school is crawling with guards in the middle of the day. The trick is to act natural when anyone’s looking, and then move like the wind when they’re not. So I walk casually up the corridor, like I belong here. Deputy Marshal Stonecase passes me by and I give her a friendly (but not too friendly) nod. She has no idea I’m working undercover. That’s what the street clothes and prosthetics are for. As soon as I find myself alone, I swing into action. First I check my scanners, perfectly camouflaged inside an ordinary-looking backpack. Once they give me the all clear, I continue to the gymnasium. My first stop is the so-called equipment room. I know it’s a flimsy cover for Sergeant Stricker’s missile silo, but I can’t worry about that now. I work fast. I work carefully. I try not to think about the pair of fully armed heat-seeking missiles just under the floor. And the millisecond my package is delivered, I move on. This next maneuver is what you call a speed round. I cruise through the building like a ninja-tornado, dropping tiny subpackages of coded instructions in every empty corner I can locate. Once the inmates start finding them—and they will find them—they’ll know what to do. That’s it. Within twenty minutes, my mission is complete. The rest of this operation is out of my hands. So I go back to undercover mode and continue my day like none of this ever happened. In fact, none of it did. (You’ve got my back, right?) SAM out!

Life is 10% what happens to me, and 90% how I react to it. - Charles Swindoll

Not Enough Time or Not Enough Will?

Many of us take the ability to choose for granted. When you stop making choices, you stop living.

Fucking Ninja coffee,” I muttered to myself. “Next time, it’ll hide in my bathtub and stab me in the nut.

You think this will even be a school still? In the year 2099?” I asked. “This was a school a hundred years ago, why wouldn’t it be a school in another hundo?” Zoe said. I scratched the back of my neck. “I should start leaving little clues around the building for my great-great-grandkid to find,” I said. “How amazing would that be? Like, I can send him messages from the past!” Zoe gave me the look that meant she was wondering if my descent into insanity had finally taken a turn for the worse. “What?” I laughed. “I’m just sayin’ that if I had to go around finding a bunch of stuff from our dead great-great-grandparents, it would rock my socks off!” “Such a weirdo sometimes,” Zoe grinned with a half smile. “You think you’re gonna look into this prank then? The case of the missing head?” I raised my right leg, and crossed it over my left, thinking about what it would mean if I were to investigate like I normally did. With the Bash only a few days away, I didn’t have much time to run around the halls questioning kids about stuff since I still had my project to finish up.

Your time is limited; so don’t waste it living someone else’s life.” - Steve Jobs

If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I’m about to do today?

Do it right the first time, and do it with class.

Anyone can finish a task.  But, not everyone exceeds expectations.

colored laser blasts. With no time to find cover, I had to trust my instincts to avoid getting hit. Shutting

I’m still eleven years old and still a scrawny dude. As much as I want to say being a ninja bulked me up a bunch, it hasn’t, but that’s a good thing since a beefy ninja would be weird looking. Buchanan School has been good to me. I was the new kid at the start of the year, but nobody really gave me gruff about it. Cool kids and sports stars fill the hallways between classes, and I do my best to stay off everyone’s radar. I’m what some people might call a “comic book nerd,” but I prefer the term “aficionado,” which means I’m more of an expert in comics and less of a nerd. It’s a term I learned from my cousin, Zoe. She’s the coolest cousin in the world, but don’t tell her I said that. I’ve become better friends with Brayden, the werewolf hunter, but I wouldn’t say we’re “best friends.” We’ve hung out a couple times outside of school to watch bad horror movies and make fun of them. Trust me when I say it’s a lot more fun than it sounds. Zoe came over once and even she laughed a couple times. About

Carlyle. “Even the best of us have to fail from time to time. In your case, the time just happens to be at this moment.” I took my book bag off and dropped it on the cement in front of my feet. Carlyle snapped his fingers, and Brayden stepped forward. He marched over to my book bag and unzipped it. Then he dug his fat hot dog fingers into it and pulled my ninja robes out. Tossing them on the floor in front of the captain, he spoke. “It’s all here, capt’n.” “Good,” Carlyle sneered. “Then it’s just about finished, isn’t it, Chase?” I couldn’t look him in the eye. Picking up my ninja robes, he turned around and started for the door. “Hope t’see you tonight, matey. It’s gonna be a heckuva

two or ALL the puppies if I could’ve. But whatever, it was just cool to have puppies in the mall. My sister’s gonna FREAK when I tell her about it. Anyways, Fergus and Annie returned to our tournament table with the biggest plate of nachos I’d ever seen in my whole entire life, so me and Emma went and joined them. The four of us dug into the towering mountain of chips and cheese and chicken and onions and queso and tomatoes and salsa and sour cream and guac and jalapenos and O.M.CHEESE, it was SO good! I filled my belly with warm food and then sat back, watching all the people around the tournament having fun. What a great start to a weekend full of friends, puppies, and video games. I mean, seriously, everything was PERFECT, and there wasn’t a single thing that could change that… And immediately, Annie goes, “It was stolen,” but she didn’t know that! Isn’t it funny how some people go to the worst-case scenario first? That’s called “catastrophic thinking” and helps ABSOLUTELY NOBODY in times of stress. So, until we had more details, I thought it best to simply call the camera “missing.” I ran up to Callie, HOPING that maybe she had taken the camera to a Lost & Found box somewhere inside Hacktronics, but nope. Apparently, they didn’t have one. Not good. That meant somebody MIGHT have stolen it. I went to the other players in the tournament and asked if THEY saw anything suspicious, but nobody did! I just couldn’t believe it! How was it possible that NOBODY saw some fool GANK an $800 camera?? That doesn’t even make any sense! Fergus had completely shut down. Annie was angry at me. And Emma was just caught in the middle of it, sitting there, like, “Awkwaaaaaard.” Then, outta nowhere, Annie let me have it. She shouted a bunch of stuff at me that weren’t the kindest things ever, but I fixed all that through the MAGIC of editing…

My parents didn’t seem to notice, but my sister sure did. She was nice about it, not by asking what was wrong, but hanging out with me while I wasted time playing video games. When I woke up, I acted sick. My mom bought it for a little bit, at least enough to skip homeroom. But when she caught me out of bed and playing basketball in my driveway, she took me straight to school. She barely gave me time to get

What just happened?” Amy said. “We were in a ninja fight,” Dan said in amazement. “For the first time in my nonvirtual life. And I hated it.

Tools for tracking what people are saying about you The following tools can be useful for tracking mentions: Moz Fresh Web Explorer, Google Alerts, Talkwalker Alerts, Mention, Ninja Outreach, Twitter Search, BuzzSumo, and Facebook. Salesforce Marketing Cloud provides powerful tools for real-time analysis and monitoring of social media.

Day 2 - Overworld After meditating, filling my Chi, and exploring the Overworld during the night, I decided to stay out in the open again during the next day. I ran into another couple of Endermen during the night, a time when exploring is a lot easier on our eyes. But now, during the day, now that the sunlight is flooding the world around me, I’m all alone again. During my training, I was never told to only go out at night, but it seems to be an unspoken rule of my people on the Seed Stride here.

I’m still going to miss you.” “It’s okay to miss me. But you’ve got so much with King, Bear, the kids. You’re going to be so fucking busy, you’re not going to have time to miss me. But I tell you what; I’ll make sure you know I’m around. Can’t find where you put your fucking car keys? That’s ’cause Ghost Preppy put them in the freezer. Can’t find the remote but the channels keep changing? That’s because Ghost Preppy can’t remember what channel American Ninja Warrior is on.” Preppy wiped a tear from my cheek with his thumb. “I love you Preppy,” I said, pulling him in for another hug. “So much.” “I love you too, babe. As much as a motherfucker can love his best friend’s girl, in a friendship kind of way, who he also wouldn’t mind fucking.” Preppy put his hands on my shoulders.

was walking on razor blades over a lava pit of fire-breathing ninja lemurs whenever I saw them spending time together.

Scooter Libby/Valerie Plame debacle—wherein Valerie Plame, aka Valerie Wilson, was outed as a CIA operative by the State Department—covered that morning’s front page of The New York Times.

You lost,” he said, stepping back. ​“How did you do that?” Jake asked, so surprised that the ninja had managed to disarm him within a second. ​“You’ll have to learn. Next round!” ​The second round was the exact same as the ninja easily disarmed Jake, and then placed his sword on his throat. ​“You lost again,” the ninja told him, stepping back again. “Too slow.” ​As they prepared for the third round, Jake wondered if he should try, because he would lose anyway. ​But then he thought about what the ninja had said about him being too slow. He was right! The next time that the ninja told him to start, he would sidestep his attack, and then move in to disarm him! ​“Round 3...start!” the ninja announced. ​Jake stuck to his plan. Right as the ninja leader went to perform his disarming move, Jake sidestepped it and then shoved his own sword at the ninja leader’s sword. ​The ninja’s face was filled with shock as his sword clattered to the ground. Jake had won. ​“Too slow,” he told the ninja leader, grinning.

Carter watched Avery weave her way through the crowds like a ninja—ready to battle at a moment’s notice, but invisible to the general crowd. The reception was in full swing, and he’d never felt so damn tired in his life. He’d been running around nonstop, taking care of endless tasks that popped up. Everything ached, from his head to his feet, and through it all, the woman never lost her cool or her charm. The idea she did this every weekend the entire spring and summer was more than impressive. And this was just “live time,” as she’d termed it. All the months of prep work led up to this one day. All her efforts and sweat and time were for the purpose of making one couple happy as they embarked on a life together

A ninja has to be aware of everything around them at all times, so they can be prepared for anything, even if the only thing around them was a palette of bread buns.

When you’re in the air, floating through clouds, nothing can hurt you. You’re as free as a bird, drifting aimlessly as the wind sifts through the hairs on your arms and legs. You’re not tethered to the Earth by the invisible villain known as gravity. And it was in that moment that I realized how two-dimensional my world had been. I was like a square that had somehow become a cube. The sky was above me. The clouds were right next to me. And the roof of the school was below me. Yep. I had graduated from humanity and become one with time and space, seeing the past and the present and the future all at once.

A second of time is worth a block of gold, but you can’t buy that second of time with a block of gold.

Be more careful next time. You're the clumsiest damned ninja-warrior-gymnast princess I've ever met.