Neurodivergent Quotes

There is a sense that a particular neurodivergence does not make people inherently disabled, but they feel disabled because of the generally overstimulating environments of dominant neurotypical culture and settings.

What happens when we stop pathologizing difference?

Society often accepts difference in children, but it’s not ‘acceptance’ so much as it is a confidence that those differences will fade.

why are we then determined to change the child, rather than the world around them? Why do we validate the wrong just because it’s normalised, and ostracise the right just because it’s not?

Many of us who are disabled are not particularly likable or popular in general or amid the abled. Ableism means that we—with our panic attacks, our trauma, our triggers, our nagging need for fat seating or wheelchair access, our crankiness at inaccessibility, again, our staying home—are seen as pains in the ass, not particularly cool or sexy or interesting. Ableism, again, insists on either the supercrip (able to keep up with able-bodied club spaces, meetings, and jobs with little or no access needs) or the pathetic cripple. Ableism and poverty and racism mean that many of us are indeed in bad moods. Psychic difference and neurodivergence also mean that we may be blunt, depressed, or “hard to deal with” by the tenants of an ableist world.

But walking a path alone for a while longer is better than sharing it with someone who’s going to make that path more difficult.

There are billions of us -- humans everywhere, with access to our own minds and no one else's, tossing one another songs and sentences to bridge the gap.

I'm neurodivergent: for my autistic brain, engaging strangers isn't easy or relaxing.

Moving is hard. Change is hard. Especially if you’re neurodivergent or have survived trauma.

Sick and disabled and neurodivergent folks aren’t supposed to dream, especially if we are queer and Black or brown—we’re just supposed to be grateful the “normals” let us live.

You may have different needs than some folks in your class, but that doesn't make you the ­«wrong» version and other people the «normal» version. You are Selah. And you are not the only one feeling these things.

Our identities make us who we are, and all aspects of our identities are important, including (maybe even specifically) our disabilities.

When you are sad, you don’t necessarily feel like you are also funny, and sharp, and clever, and kind. But you still are. You don’t have to feel like something to be it.

By the time I entered education in the late 1980s, schools were about as well adapted for my neurotype as a set of stairs is adapted for the use by a Dalek.

Depression, bipolar disorder, and other examples of neurodivergence7 are stigmatized because we are unwilling to extend the same care and treatment to our brains that we afford our bodies. If I broke my arm and never went to a see a doctor, not only would I be in extreme pain but the people in my life would be incensed by such a reckless choice. Yet we make statements like “It’s all in your head” all the time, minimizing the experiences of our brains and neglecting their care.

But like so many neurodivergent women and girls (and people of color and, really, anyone but cis white men), I internalized the criticisms and carried around a lot of shame while I exhausted myself trying to fit into a world that was not built for my brain.

My alphabet hates itself. Like ... imagine someone says, ‘Think outside the box.’ My hyperactive mind creates a sphere and laughs at the box and researches for hours on end how much better spheres are. Then my Autism freaks out that I broke the rules without realising there were any, and wonders why we are supposed to think inside cardboard boxes in the first place. Surely being inside cardboard boxes isn’t comfortable.

Disabled Cherokee scholar Qwo-Li Driskill has remarked that in precontact Cherokee, there are many words for people with different kinds of bodies, illnesses, and what would be seen as impairments; none of those words are negative or view those sick or disabled people as defective or not as good as normatively bodied people.9 With the arrival of white settler colonialism, things changed, and not in a good way. For many sick and disabled Black, Indigenous, and brown people under transatlantic enslavement, colonial invasion, and forced labor, there was no such thing as state-funded care. Instead, if we were too sick or disabled to work, we were often killed, sold, or left to die, because we were not making factory or plantation owners money. Sick, disabled, Mad, Deaf, and neurodivergent people’s care and treatment varied according to our race, class, gender, and location, but for the most part, at best, we were able to evade capture and find ways of caring for ourselves or being cared for by our families, nations, or communities—from our Black and brown communities to disabled communities.

Guess what? Your brain is part of your body! Why am I yelling this? Because too often we treat our brain as though it’s a separate operating system tucked away in a room we call the skull. Our tendency to divorce our brains from our bodies is one of the sneaky ways in which body shame thrives. Isolating our brains gives us permission to treat them differently. Depression, bipolar disorder, and other examples of neurodivergence7 are stigmatized because we are unwilling to extend the same care and treatment to our brains that we afford our bodies. If I broke my arm and never went to a see a doctor, not only would I be in extreme pain but the people in my life would be incensed by such a reckless choice. Yet we make statements like “It’s all in your head” all the time, minimizing the experiences of our brains and neglecting their care.

The Shadow is not evil. It is everything You were told to hide in order to belong, anger, desire, grief, neediness, brilliance, queerness, eroticism, boundaries, pleasure, pride. In short: the parts of You that threatened the story someone else needed You to play.

Find love in things simply to be in love with them.

Divergence is nature’s way to expansion.

Apparently, letters mean you should change. I need to learn a lot of rules instead of going to the park. I like rules. I don't like talking about rules.

A diagnosis is not a prediction. It doesn’t tell you what’s possible. It doesn’t change you, your colleague, your child, or your friend. It just opens up tricks and tools to thrive.

Listen to yourself, listen to your mind, listen to your body. What do you need? What do you need to stay away from? You’re the expert on yourself, and it’s important to surround yourself with things that will benefit you.

Functioning labels and Asperger’s syndrome both need to be erased entirely from diagnostic criteria and our vocabulary if we want any chance of a more equal future. They only serve to segregate, label and ultimately harm us.

[Epilepsy] gave her an adversity to fight against. It had shaped her personality, the need to be careful and secretive, and the ability to see things a bit differently from the neurotypical. She granted that this feeling of having a broken brain that required her to be sensitive, to look always inward to survive, might be why she turned artist.

It feels like we’re living in a time where neurodivergence is more broadly understood, or even accepted – with people, learning about the ways conditions like Autism and ADHD have historically been underdiagnosed, or underreported, especially in women.

People viewing their organization like a machine fail to realize that the machine parts who burn out in the workplace, both NeuroDivergent or NeuroTypical, tend to be some of the most devoted employees. Why? Because to work hard enough to burn out, you have to care about what you’re doing.

Every night I left my bedroom window open on the off-chance Peter Pan would realise he’d forgotten a peculiar little girl, left her in the wrong universe, and come back, take her hand and whisk her away to a world of pirates, pixies and mermaids. Away from her own land, where life was as confusing and difficult as the hardest journey in any fairytale. Day after day, year after year, I sat, wishing, hoping, praying. But Peter didn’t come.

People don’t necessarily realize it when they contribute to the erosion of a child’s self-worth, but kids pay attention to how people treat them, and they get the message loud and clear. I wish I could say it didn’t distort their self-perception and make them more sensitive and insecure, but it does.

Neurodivergent is the word you use when you're talking about my brain working differently, isn't it?" "That's right." She smiled. "You seem to be much more open to talking about this than you have been in the past. Does that mean you might be ready to stop exhausting yourself pretending you're like everybody else?

growing up you need more than someone who’s, like, mentally programmed to love you. You need your tribe, your people, your sidekicks, and I didn’t have them. I was the lion cub in the desert, the trapped Genie, the hidden-away Quasimodo, but I was without a sidekick to bring me through the middle chapters of my story.

Sometimes, we knock it out of the park. Other times, we can’t even get our jerseys on. This can be confounding for people observing ADHDers, because they see what we can do and then wonder why we don’t just, you know, do it. You didn’t forget to unload the dishes yesterday. How come you forgot today? But like people who have other types of neurodivergent brains—such as people with autism spectrum disorder or dyslexia—those of us with ADHD are not in control of how our brain differences manifest. It’s simply how we are wired. Unfortunately, much of the world doesn’t recognize that, and this lack of understanding can make people with ADHD feel . . . well, bad.

For many women with ADHD, we may be able to sit still but we can’t stop moving through our never-ending thoughts.

Letters will never be able to hold the cacophony that bubbles within me.

Thinking differently has given me the tools to face chaos and failure.

Stimming is not a bad thing.

It must be exhausting to be in your head," Sam told me once. I think what he must have meant was it was exhausting for him to hear about it. I exhausted him.

The truth is, I felt different my entire life. Because I was always too much.

That’s the way I’ve always been. It’s hard for me to see any situation as a whole. I feel like I’m always looking at a mass of moving parts, trying to break every tiny piece of experience down and understand it in a methodical way. It’s beautiful but it’s also difficult to interact with people because they expect me to communicate the whole machine and I’m too distracted by the cogs.

To unmask is to lay bare a proud face of noncompliance, to refuse to be silenced, to stop being compartmentalized and hidden away, and to stand powerfully in our wholeness alongside other disabled and marginalized folks. Together we can stand strong and free, shielded by the powerful, radical acceptance that comes only when we know who we are, and with the recognition that we never had anything to hide.

As an individual, as a person with the power to affect other people with your words, actions, and expressions every single day, you can give people who see the world differently the gift of accepting who and how they are.

Most of my housemates had ADHD, PTSD, bipolar, autism, or some combination of those. I might have been the only one who didn’t realize I was neurodivergent—that is, not neurotypical. In that house, for the first time since childhood, I didn’t feel like an introvert. I got energy from being around people, because I didn’t feel the need to play a role—I could just be. Stimming was common and accepted. People dressed however they liked. Meltdowns were an occasional part of life, not a big and scary event.

These days, everyone said they were accepting of neurodivergence. In theory. But Jasper knew better. She knew that if the social lines were ever crossed, if the complex and unwritten rules were ever broken, she would be cast out. She had worn the golden girl mask for so long and sometimes it was too frightening to imagine removing it. It splintered her face, it made her eyes tired, it dulled the taste of life, but it was easier to be accepted as a watered-down version of yourself than rejected for who you really were.

Do you find yourself unable to focus in social situations because your mind is distracted by the minutia of these interactions?” he begins. ​I’m too busy thinking about the way someone’s bone structure works when saying these words to actually respond to them, but my therapist takes that as a yes.

I like that I have ten things on the go, all at once. I like that I'm always planning for the next thing. I like that I bring a high energy to my life, that I see it as a challenge. I like that my favourite thing to do on the flight home is to look at the airline route map to pick my next destination.

I always had to pretend back then," he said. "Trying to act the way I was supposed to, to understand what people wanted from me. Alone is not synonymous with lonely. Out in the world, everyone tells you to just be yourself but then punishes you if you are. And yet they are right. Alone I can be myself.

But deficits and disabilities only exist in relation to an environment where some other way of functioning has been chosen as the yardstick. An autistic person - or one with any form of otherness - only becomes an anomaly when she tries to fit in. Beyond any and all contexts, she is complete in herself.

They often took a difficulty I had and turned it into an amusing little anecdote. They would take a deadly seriousness, my seriousness, and turn it into a great laugh that they would then let out into the room. What kind of people were they to do that? The amusing anecdote had sharp edges, flew into me and scratched my soul.

The normal pipeline for an adult autistic is being overwhelmed, tired, then reaching burnout, depression, and guilt. But change is possible. These are systemic problems that we encounter, and the solutions we bring are going to be individual. Autistic people are wildly diverse, and what strengths you have won’t look like someone else’s.

[Dora] 'I have often though that I am capable of emotions with a long tail. I am not sure if that makes sense. I do not feel the shock of fear, but I can feel dread--I was scared of the image in the mirror after thinking on it for a while. And while you do not enrage me, per se, I am vexed when I think of the way you treat others.' Elias smiled sharply at that...'Have you ever felt happiness at all, Miss Ettings? Even the sort with a long tail?' Dora settled her chin into her hand. 'I don't know what happiness ought to feel like any more,' she said. 'It is the most elusive feeling of all, I think. But...I feel at peace when I am near Vanessa. She is like a warm lantern to me. I think it must be because she loves me so obviously. When I am around her, I do not need to pretend to be something I am not.

My need to self-regulate was left unattended and silenced. I firmly pushed away what my mind and body desperately needed to do for fear of being further bullied and ridiculed. However, instead of these needs disappearing and me magically becoming ‘normal’, as was so desired by those around me, they turned into pent-up anxiety, depression and dysregulation that would end up bubbling over to the point of meltdowns.

ADHD also manifests differently in everyone. And you don’t have to exhibit the stereotypical symptoms that many people, including doctors, associate with ADHD. Like fidgeting, misbehaving, or doing poorly in school. I was gobsmacked. How could I have made it through 4 decades of life and never considered that I might have ADHD? Pretty soon I learned I wasn’t alone. As many of 75% of girls and women with ADHD go undiagnosed.

We are expected to function, to go on with our lives, to carry on and repeat the exact same behaviours that got us into this rainbow-loading screen in the first place because 'everyone else can--so suck it up!' And we'll fall. And we'll crash. And we'll keep on crashing. We'll crash again and again and again as we're forced into these scenarios to be washed, rinsed, repeated and spat back out again. Until we can't anymore. Our bodies can only take so much, and after too long of too much, we can't continue anymore. We go into safe mode.

There is no one disabled future. But in mine, there is guaranteed income, housing, access, food, water, and education for all—or money has been abolished. I get paid to write from my bed. The births of disabled, Autistic, Mad, Neurodivergent, Deaf, and sick kids are celebrated, and there are memorials and healing and reparation sites on every psych ward, institution, nursing home, youth lockup, and “autistic treatment center” where our people have been locked up and abused. Anyone who needs care gets it, with respect and autonomy, not abuse. Caregivers are paid well for the work we do and are often disabled ourselves. Disabled folks are the ones teaching medical school students about our bodies. Schools have been taken apart and remade so that there’s not one idea of “smart” and “stupid,” but many ways of learning. There is a disability justice section in every bookstore and a million examples of sick and disabled and Deaf and autistic and Mad folks thriving. I have a really sick lipstick-red spiral ramp curving around my house. Because it’s beautiful. Because I want it. Because I get to live free. -LEAH

Divergent Dynamite (The Sonnet) You only know my infinite radiance, you got no clue to my innate hurricane. Day in and day out I struggle autistic, Genius is outcome of a mind broken. There are cracks across my heart, nothing can bar the pouring rays. Light is but suffering harnessed, Genius is brokenness harnessed. There is no end to my exuberance, limits of typicals don't apply to me. I am but an enigma of unbending tenacity, every breath is testament to impossibility. Divergence is nature's way to expansion. Divergent dynamite I, am living evolution.

I just mean that she’s different, you know? Not like us. She’s not so good with, hm, how do you say, human interaction and any trappings of decorum or rules. I suppose that’s why she prefers animals to people. Most animals don’t exchange hellos and ask how the other is. They just exist next to one another.” Yetu’s ears and skin perked at the sound of that. Oori preferred animals, did she? “Perfect, then. I’m not human,” said Yetu. Though her foremothers were two-legs, she felt she had very little in common with these strange land walkers, whose teeth were weak and flat. “I am animal.” Suka played with their breath in the back of their throat then pushed it through their mouth—a strange habit of the two-legs. It was too thoughtful to be a sigh. Too calm and content to be a groan. Just a sound, meaningless, as they considered what to say. “Yes, but only animal-ish?” they said, hedging. Yetu didn’t understand what that could mean. She groaned, unable to keep track of it all. Without the vivid images of the rememberings, she was left only with outlines of memories, and even those were waning. Two-legs had specific ways of classifying the world that Yetu didn’t like. She remembered that, at least. They organized the world as two sides of a war, the two-legs in conflict with everything else. The way Suka talked about farming, it was as if they ruled the land and what it produced, as opposed to—they’d just said it themselves—existing alongside it.

I've been thinking about what you told me Friday night, about having a broken brain, not a broken spirit. And I've been thinking about what it means to be broken, and how we call things broken that aren't - fractured. It made me think about fractals. Do you know what a Mandelbrot Set is? [...] So, a Mandelbrot Set is one kind of fractal. All fractals are self similar, which means they have a pattern that repeats at different levels of magnification. Fractals are infinitely recursive and orderly, but they appear to be chaotic. [...] Mathematicians use fractals to model things that appear to be chaotic but are really accumulations of complex patterns. Fractured things - not broken, because broken implies that there is a normal, when mathematically there isn't. Normal would simply mean easily predictable, like a salt crystal. Fractured things like snowflakes and mountain ranges are more geometrically interesting and require more complex modeling. [...] You are a fractured snowflake, a pattern, repeated in infinite detail in a world full of salt crystals. You're not broken, you're perfect.

In a landmark study into the psychology of perceived “creepiness,” psychologists McAndrew and Koehnke (2016) asked 1,341 respondents to answer questions about which personal qualities and behaviors they associated with “creepy” people, and used statistical factor analysis to develop a measurable “creepiness” factor. The creepiness factor they developed included the following traits: a person having awkward, unpredictable behavior, an unnatural-looking smile, laughter that occurred at “unnatural” times, speaking for too long about a single topic, and not knowing when to end a conversation.[30] When Autistic people attempt to socialize and bond with others in an affable, enthusiastic way, these are often the very traits we embody. Even as we try to put the neurotypical people around us at ease by smiling, keeping the conversation moving, and staying present, we might be seen as scary or unsettling. A series of experiments by social psychologists Leander, Chartrand, and Bargh (2012) found that when a person engages in social mirroring in an even slightly inappropriate way, it skeeves people out, and even makes them feel physically colder.[31] A little bit of mimicry is normal among friends. People mirror one another’s postures and mannerisms as they get comfortable and fall “ into sync. But if you mirror someone too much, or at the wrong time, these studies show you can literally give other people the chills. Autistic maskers try really hard to mirror other people, but since we can’t do it as fluently and effortlessly as neurotypicals do, we often unwittingly set off NT’s creep-dars. The solution, then, is to stop hiding and pretending to be something we’re not. Instead of straining (and failing) to imitate NT people, we can become radically visible. Sasson’s research found that when participants were told they were interacting with an Autistic person, their biases against us disappeared. Suddenly they liked their slightly awkward conversation partner, and expressed interest in getting to know them. Having an explanation for the Autistic person’s oddness helped the creeped-out feeling go away. Follow-up research by Sasson and Morrison (2019) confirmed that when neurotypical people know that they’re meeting an Autistic person, first impressions of them are far more positive, and after the interaction neurotypicals express more interest in learning about Autism.[32] 30. McAndrew, F. T., & Koehnke, S. S. (2016). On the nature of creepiness. New Ideas in Psychology, 43, 10–15. 31. Leander, N. P., Chartrand, T. L., & Bargh, J. A. (2012). You give me the chills: Embodied reactions to inappropriate amounts of behavioral mimicry. Psychological Science, 23(7), 772–779. Note: many of John Bargh’s priming studies have failed replication attempts in recent years. For a discussion of a failed attempt of a related but different series of temperature priming studies, see Lynott, D., Corker, K. S., Wortman, J., Connell, L., Donnellan, M. B., Lucas, R. E., & O’Brien, K. (2014). Replication of “Experiencing physical warmth promotes interpersonal warmth” by Williams and Bargh (2008). Social Psychology. 32. Sasson, N. J., & Morrison, K. E. (2019). First impressions of adults with autism improve with diagnostic disclosure and increased autism knowledge of peers. Autism, 23(1), 50–59.

You had trouble answering the phone? You neurodivergent cunt.’ Donnie had been sent on compulsory equalities training after some work catastrophe, where he had been compelled to learn a raft of terms he now used as abuse.

Our brains are sending sparks in different directions and sometimes they end up in the wrong place, but sometimes they end up in incredible places.

Autistic Burnout: A phenomenon commonly occurring in response to prolonged extreme stress from several possible factors. Some of these factors include—but are not limited to—suppressing traits (masking), overwhelming emotional and sensory demands, disruptive changes, intentional or unintentional personal physical neglect, or participation in the over-achievement cycle. This uniquely neurodivergent hell looks like increased executive dysfunction, increased illness, decreased motivation, decreased ability to perform self-care, decreased ability to mask autistic traits, an increase in meltdowns and shutdowns, being unable to communicate needs in a customary way, and may lead to significant mental health crises. Sometimes called neurodivergent burnout because many of us have multiple neurodivergencies.

look at your trauma and see it for what it is - a combination of thoughts and feelings.

We are all neurodiverse – society is neurodiverse, the entire human population is neurodiverse. When we use neurodiverse when we mean neurodivergent, we’re actually implying that neurotypical people are not a part of neurodiversity.

Neurodiverse and neurodivergent are not interchangeable terms that mean the same thing.

The neurodivergent brain is like an exec without an assistant.

you are not ‘ungrateful’ for not feeling overcome with joy when receiving your diagnosis.

Unless you have made a recipe a hundred times before, you may not realize that your energy is running low, or that the recipe may ‘cost’ you far more, and then even more energy has been lost.

To be honest, he hadn't even realized they'd fought until he got to Ben's place. Dallin had grown up with arguments that looked more like two people who were actually disagreeing. His father would raise his voice; his mother would cry—or his mother would raise her voice, and his father would slam a door. They didn't fight a lot, especially not compared to some of his friends' parents, but they fought like normal people. William couldn't even fight normal.

We cannot help but entwine our concept of dignity with how much a person can do. The sick, the elderly, the disabled, the neurodivergent, my sweet cousin on the autism spectrum—we tend to assign a lesser social value to those whose “doing” cannot be enslaved into a given output. We should look to them as sacred guides out of the bondage of productivity. Instead, we withhold social status and capital, and we neglect to acknowledge that theirs is a liberation we can learn from.

I want to make this very clear: being neurodivergent doesn’t mean we can’t be disabled – it just means we are not broken because of it.

Can you imagine a life where you make the rules? This is the life I strive for. Cultivating my own sense of belonging, one that isn’t force-fed to me through a patriarchal, inverted education and work system. I choose my reality. I do this by understanding my human complexity, and knowing how I navigate this world so that I can best support myself (this is an ongoing process of realisation and learning). I have yet to meet a neurodivergent person that hasn't gone deep into their own psyche to gain more of an understanding of themselves. People that know themselves more deeply can be of better service in this world, to themselves and others. If we dare to be authentic then I believe we can lead the world into new, more inclusive ways. But it’s not just about the future, it's also about who we are now as individuals and what we can contribute to creating a world that is inclusive of all.

Neuro Navigator: A person who may not have a neurodivergent brain, but loves and empowers someone who does. See also: Unconditional love.

It’s the same for neurodivergent; it’s an umbrella term for anyone who diverges from dominant societal norms; it doesn’t specifically say what our experiences or differences are other than the fact that we simply do diverge. It’s an umbrella term for all the ways we may diverge from the way we think, feel, learn, communicate, behave and function.

Partly owing to Cavendish's great wealth, his preference for solitude was often confused with arrogance, selfishness, or disdain. A fellow scientist once described him as "the coldest and most indifferent of mortals", while others characterized him as insensitive, blind to the emotions of others, or mean. But he was not a nasty or vindictive man; he simply had no idea how to conduct himself in public.

But for the outcasts like me, the ones who don't fit the box, the only words that remind me I'm human are my own.

Identifying as neurodivergent isn't just another label; it's also an identity, it's a reclamation, it's a song. When we call ourselves neurodivergent, we are reclaiming our differences that society calls abnormal or wrong. When we call ourselves neurodivergent, we are challenging you to consider what 'normal' actually means and perhaps even realize that maybe our normal isn't your normal. When we call ourselves neurodivergent, we are rejecting the concept of disorders.

She liked to disappear. Even when she was in the same room as other people. It was a talent, as it was a curse.

You see, we’re not hyperactive, just otherworldly energetic. We’re not distractible, just incessantly curious. And yes, we can be impulsive, but some experts believe that creativity is simply impulsivity gone right (and one reason why many believe that Leonardo da Vinci, Vincent van Gogh, and Pablo Picasso all had ADHD).

To be queer and Somali and neurodivergent is concentrated alchemy, and yet we constantly raid the cupboards of our souls like we are a people of lack. When you operate from a position of lack, you don’t realise you’re robbing yourself of everything worth preserving, and forgetting to toss away all the empty pursuits that lost their synthetic spell several generations ago. And suddenly, you’re wide awake in a new country, in a new decade, and you’re startled because you can’t remember how you got here or why you’re still feeling hunted by your own reflection. You can’t remember how or when or where or why you misplaced all your breezy dynamism—all that wildness of perception you used to project with such ferocity. Where did it all go? We have conveniently forgotten that we have always been fundamentally idiosyncratic and fantastic and fucking alive. Instead we feed ourselves and our children and our children’s children prosaic fuckery for what? Respectability politics? So that if we twist and try our damnedest to conform to standards that have never been coded into our collective DNA, that we’ll what? Somehow be less strange? Less weird and wonderful? That we’ll transcend the soul-snuffing snare that is the myth of the good immigrant? That if we mute all of our magic—everything that makes us some of the most innately interesting, individualistic and fun, funny beings in this boring, beige-as-fuck world—that we’ll win over whom? Folks who don’t season their food right or whose understanding of freedom is a shitty Friday night sloshfest at a shitty pub playing shitty music, chatting nonsense that no-one with a single iota of sense gives a fuck about? Is that who you are so deeply invested in trying to impress? If so, then go for it, but don’t fool yourself for a fucking second into thinking that trying desperately to shave off your elemental peculiarities through self-diminishment is salvation, because it simply isn’t, honey, and it never will be.

Acknowledging underlying emotions often takes a level of vulnerability that many of us aren’t comfortable showing.

Remembering that emotions are temporary reminds us that even when we are distressed, we aren’t stuck in those emotions forever.

Kids who often feel out of control may cling to rigid thinking patterns because it is consistent and feels safe.

you have felt how hard it is to stay focused on one thing, internally beating yourself up for not being able to concentrate like your friends. Maybe you can even relate to the exhausting feeling of a constant racing mind, all while trying to remember coping strategies and ways to process emotions accurately. The daily life of a neurodivergent individual is one that can feel overwhelming and draining, but with a loving support system and an abundance of self-care, it is a unique path that we must embrace.

But I find being around people so hard. Any people. There's all this noise and light and color and sensation, all the time, and I don't know how to read tone or emotions or jokes or sarcasm or flirting. It's like all the things that everyone else can do automatically, I have to do manually. And I get overwhelmed. Constantly. That's the face you're seeing. It's me, trying to process everything at once.

I'm on the spectrum," I say with a jolt. "Derek and Jack were right." "They were not." Artemis scowls. "That's a euphemism. They don't want to say autistic because they think it's rude. It is not rude." "It's not?" I say distantly, observing my brain shift again. "Nope. People think autism is some kind of error, and it's not. You're not broken or 'disordered,' or whatever they say on their little bits of paper. That just means 'not exactly like me.' Which--" Artemis points at the folder "--I think you'll see is one of the many things Mum wrote in the margins, along with the words go to hell, highlighted in pink. Autism is just a different wiring. You're built in alternative neurological software, from the ground up. Every single part of you. And it's..." "Colorful and loud?" I guess, and Artemis laughs. "I was going to say brilliant," she says. "But, yeah, I'd imagine that too. Although I don't know why anyone is surprised at how the world treats you. This has never really been a planet that embraces difference.

This book does not represent autism, and neither I nor Cassie represent autistic people. We are simply individual voices in a choir of millions of amazing neurodivergent people, all with our own experiences, or own ways of seeing the world, our own ways of existing. I cannot speak for anyone but myself, and I would not want to try. So, whether you enjoyed this book or not, whether you see yourself represented in this story or not, I urge you to seek out other autistic voices. We are beautiful, we are unique, and we are legion.

We need to find you an outlet that’s going to be healthy and sustainable.” ​I consider these words for a moment. “Like what?” I finally ask, coming up with nothing. ​“Well, you could write,” the bigfoot therapist suggests. “Something creative is a great way to let that illogical side of you come out and play.” ​“Knowing my hyperfocus I’d probably just end up writing hundreds of books expressing every corner of my personality in a deeply intricate catalog of feelings,” I offer with a scoff. ​My therapist doesn’t seem phased.

In a family of warmth, I was the strange, cold one- the one who could decipher textbooks and equations but struggled to decipher the exact cadence of a voice that made a name a term of endearment, not the pattern of a touch that made it a caress.

if a bright child is placed in a supportive, flexible, and challenging classroom environment, we can reduce the negative outcomes classically ascribed to gifted individuals, like perfectionism, anxiety, or underachievement.

What opportunities for future classes or career paths may be lost by not recognizing the struggle and calling it what it is as soon as possible?

many individuals who embrace the concept of neurodiversity believe that people with differences do not need to be cured; they need help and accommodation instead.

Being neurodivergent doesn’t mean a person is broken or needs to be fixed. They need support to access the world around them. The solution to helping someone who needs a wheelchair get up steps isn’t to teach them to walk; it is to build a ramp. The solution for someone who has a disability based on their neurological wiring isn’t to tell them to try harder; it is to build (and help them build for themselves) accommodations that allow them to thrive.

What if gifted kids weren’t required to remain with their same-age peers at school and could be instructed at their cognitive level? How would simply having an appropriate educational setting shift their development?

Recognizing a disability requires us to become comfortable with vulnerability. Self-advocacy begins with recognizing disability without shame. When we give our children permission to recognize their difficulties, we liberate them to ask for accommodations. We empower them to look beyond the status quo and find the solutions that work for them, instead of trying to use the solutions that work for other people. And we provide a framework for self-understanding and self-acceptance that is the key for neurodivergent people of all ages.

The work was mentally taxing, which was just as well: it prevented Dora from dwelling on her aunt's words. The pile of ugliness at the bottom of her mind was bigger than it had ever been before, pressing dangerously at the surface of her consciousness. Dora knew it was becoming a problem, but she continued to ignore it mostly because she did not know what else to do with it. She could not sob on her pillow as Vanessa might have done, and there was no one about to whom she might turn for comfort--and so she continued her translation, vaguely aware the entire time of the sickness that pressed for her attention.

Organizations need to decide which values they want to emphasize, and clearly communicate them to all members of the team. If you don't actively create the culture that you do want within your organization, a culture you don't want can develop organically.

ask them to visualize what their life would be like if they weren’t constantly feeling overwhelmed by stress, social anxiety, or disorganization.

the lasting effect of chronically feeling stressed and unsuccessful in the academic setting for many twice-exceptional kids is real.