Nacho Quotes

I plead alignment to the flakes of the untitled snakes of a merry cow and to the republicans for which they scam: one nacho, underpants with licorice and jugs of wine for owls.

He was chugging brown pop from a can Jack had handed him while he stuffed nacho cheese Doritos in his face. I was glad to see he looked lots better, almost completely like himself, which proves Doritos and brown pop really are health foods.

This is a combo between Taco and Burrito, nacho!

We have some nachos left.” Carlos motioned to a plate on the table. “But I don’t suppose you’re interested.” “I already ate.” Ian sat at the end of the table. “Anyone we know?” Carlos’s amber eyes twinkled. “Ouch.” He glared at Toni.

Yes, my style sucks. But at least I didn't bowl half a game with a nacho stuck to my ass.

I’ll be back with the sandwiches,” she said. “But I had some leftover seven-layer dip.” “Yum.” Percy dug in with a tortilla chip. “She’s kinda famous for this, guys.” Sally ruffled his hair. “There’s guacamole, sour cream, refried beans, salsa—” “Seven layers?” I looked up in wonder. “You knew seven is my sacred number? You invented this for me?” Sally wiped her hands on her apron. “Well, actually, I can’t take credit—” “You are too modest!” I tried some of the dip. It tasted almost as good as ambrosia nachos. “You will have immortal fame for this, Sally Jackson!

Then the guilt from my ignored responsibilities grows so large that merely carrying it around with me feels like a huge responsibility. It takes up a sizable portion of my capacity, leaving me almost completely useless for anything other than consuming nachos and surfing the Internet like an attention-deficient squirrel on PCP.

I am the gatekeeper of my own destiny and I will have my glory days in the hot sun

Listen, Tiny Bartender.' He grabbed the plate of nachos and slid it in front of her, because they both knew she loved selecting the first chip. 'You have bewitched me body and soul, and I love you three times. Please tell me my hands are cold so we can get on with our lives already.

But so far he's stayed so deep in the closet, they're going to crown him king of Narnia.

I stock up on fancy food because I’m also planning on morphing into a master chef and actually cooking instead of just eating nachos for dinner every night.

That was Genus Homo, species Whowantstofuckus, subspecies Headup Hisassia. Let us move on to the cages with the interesting animals. Jacob to Ben describing JT

I grew up on a working ranch, and there was way too much to do.” “You what? A working ranch? Like…a cowboy?” Cam rolled his eyes. “I guess.” “You’re a cowboy and a fireman?” “Yes, Daniel,” Cam said dryly. “It’s almost as if I am half of the Village People, all rolled into one.

Maybe she was a little dark but she sort of sparkled with it. Jacob about Muse

I didn't despise myself for being who I was, and I never would. I wouldn't allow anyone to make me feel bad about that. That was a line I could draw in the sand.

A bottle of wine. A family-sized packet of Nacho Cheese Flavoured Tortilla Chips and a jar of hot salsa dip. A packet of cigarettes on the side (I know, I know). The rain hammering against the windows. And a book. What could have been lovelier?

For about four years, I’ve been telling people I hate sour cream. One time I sent back nachos because they had sour cream on them. I started saying this because a friend I admire hates sour cream. I told him I hated it too so we could have a funny thing in common.

Why do you gotta be going somewhere? Seems like it should be enough that we had nachos. And we got meaningful jobs. We catch bad guys. If it wasn't for us, there'd be vampires and all kinds of shit running around loose.

She looks tan...-ish." "There's a fine line between 'tan', and looking like you just rolled around in a giant bag of Doritos. And Miranda seems to prefer the nacho cheese variety.

I’m a thief, because I stole her heart. That’s so cheesy that I had to end it with nachos.

Why would you put bacon on nachos in the first place?” Misha asked. “Dude. We’re in America. We put bacon on everything.

Ken brought my hand to his lips and kissed it. I'd been paying so much attention to Ken, I didn't know what happened during the game. I don't think anyone cared too much what the outcome was after Ken's at bat. "Do you know who won?" I asked Cooper, who automatically translated into sign language for Shawn. Shawn laughed his odd laugh and signed something back. He looked at Ken, who had an arm wrapped possessively around my waist. Cooper grinned. "Shawn says it looks like you did, Jordie.

Whoever had covered our sidewalk with seals and signs apparently had an ax to grind, but I wasn’t worried. Whatever they wanted, I wasn’t about to let it get to me. Nothing could feel quite so benign as a warm spring day in St. Nacho’s. So… For some unknown—and probably unknowable—reason, the Witches of Westwick were trying to freak me out. I blew out a long, thin stream of smoke and grinned. Cool. - Daniel Livingston

Me: Because you like him. Bea: I’ll like him for about ten minutes while he bangs me on boxes of nacho cheese.

Let me tell you, nothing puts you off your bar-food nachos quicker than a lecture on the color and consistency of slug secretions.

Newel and Doren had inexhaustibly consumed milkshakes, burgers, sandwiches, tacos, nachos, pretzels, nuts, beef jerky, trail mix, soda, doughnuts, candy bars, cookies, crackers, and aerosol cheese. Of the fifty most impressive belches Seth had witnessed in his life, all had occurred on this road trip.

Newel and Doren had inexhaustibly consumed milkshakes, burgers, sandwiches, tacos, nachos, pretzels, nuts, beef jerky, trail mix, soda, doughnuts, candy bars, cookies, crackers, and aerosol cheese. Of the fifty most impressive belches Seth had witnessed in his life, all had occurred on this road trip. “I hate to interrupt the feasting,” Vanessa said, “but we did come here for a purpose. Let’s try to focus on something besides sweet fat and salty fat for the next little while.” “Some of us have fast metabolisms,” Doren mumbled. “We just want fuel in the tank before we risk our necks,” Newel complained.

Max had no idea, but figured it had to be easier than getting around the gait monitor. “Let me worry about that. Just answer the question. Can you do it?” “Can I get you boys some more nachos? Or maybe some sliders?” Their waitress spoke with a Southern accent that Max would have found charming under other conditions. He brushed her away without looking up. Wang spent another second savoring Max’s suffering while he pretended to ponder. The obvious ploy made Max want to slap him. “Technically, it’s well within our capabilities.

What we take from granted in the United States as being Mexican, to those from southern Mexico, is almost completely foreign. Rural Mexicans don't have the spare money to drown their food in melted cheese. They don't smother their food in mounds of sour cream. Who would pay for it? They have never seen "nachos." In some regions of the south, they eat soup with bananas; some tribal folks not far from Veracruz eat termite tacos; turkey, when there are turkeys, is not filled with "stuffing"―but with dry pineapples, papaya, pecans. Meat is killed behind the house, or it is bought, dripping and flyblown, off a wooden plank in the village market. They eat cheeks, ears, feet, tails, lips, fried blood, intestines filled with curdled milk. Southerners grew up eating corn tortillas, and they never varied in their diet. You find them eating food the Aztecs once ate. Flour tortillas, burritos, chimichangas―it's foreign food to them, invented on the border. They were alliens before they ever crossed the line.

That?" I glanced back to the door where JT had disappeared. "That was Genus Homo, species Whowantstofuckus, subspecies Closeted Headup Hisassia. Let us move on to the cages with the interesting animals." --Jacob "Yasha" Livingston

Since we had brought the offerings, I figured I had better talk to one of the natitas. I asked Nacho to influence the U.S. presidential election, which was being held the next day. I can only assume that either Nacho was not the right natita for American political matters or was rusty in his English.

My hot-as-fuck Mistress makes nachos, watches football, and has a book club. Careful, baby, I’m gonna start thinking you’re a real person and not an angel sent from heaven to jack my shit.” She started laughing, through it saying, “I’m sure you’ll agree I’m no angel.” He moved his face close to her. “Don’t know about that.

I liked laughing, I found out, and music. I liked nice people, getting up early, and working hard. I liked simple pleasures, like my toes in the sand and someone to kiss.

The waiter arrives, swapping out the empty appetizer plate with a giant platter of nachos, piled high with roasted pork, gooey cheese, and all the fixings.

I don’t need vitamins. I need nacho cheese and chocolate sauce.

Look,” he sighed, “all I want to do is go to bed, wake up, make a new fucking world with you, maybe have some nachos when we’re finished.

duties. Cooking duty. Dead guy duty. Maybe it’s time for me to get a better duty. Nacho Libre, Nacho Libre

When I write I am an avocado, and in a team sport setting, I am guacamole. And not to sour cream on your dreams, but with my love life, I am a nacho.

a sloth in a bar eating nachos.

But so far he’s stayed so deep in the closet, they’re going to crown him king of Narnia.

The French don't snack. They will tear off the endo of a fres baguette (which, if it's warm, it's practically impossible to resist) and eat it as they leave the boulangerie. And that's usually all you will see being consumed on the street. Compare that with the public eating and drinking that goes on in America: pizza, hot dogs, nachos, tacos, heroes, potato chips, sandwiches, jerricans of coffee, half-gallon buckets of Coke (Diet, of cours) and heaven knows what else being demolished on the hoof, often on the way to the aerobic class.

Besides, I’m fine with how fat I am. For a long time I was in a war with food and now I’m not. I’ve engineered a ceasefire. All weapons have been melted down and poured over nachos.

Everyone turned to look at me and started clapping. It was so embarrassing. My hands were all greasy, I had nachos smeared all over my lips and my mouth was filled to the brim with food.

Kwa sababu ya udadisi wa hali ya juu nasoma kila kitu ninachokutana nacho hasa vile visivyonipendeza. Ukitaka kupata maarifa usisome tu vitabu vinavyokupendeza. Soma vitabu visivyokupendeza.

However, using insidious and irresistible mind-control techniques such as offering us Mountain Dew and a ton of nachos, the naval bigwigs had managed to corral us in this room for a debriefing.

Jack y yo somos los dos últimos en ponernos los zapatos. Él suspira y se encoje de hombros. —Ninguno de los dos ha ganado, pero yo bien podría haberlo hecho. Ambos sabemos que he lanzado tácticamente más el juego. Tu estilo es un desastre tremendamente ilógico. —Sí, mi estilo es una mierda. Pero al menos yo no he lanzado la mitad de un una partida con un nacho pegado a mi culo. Sonrió mientras me alejo tranquilamente, dejando que Jack palpe violentamente la parte trasera de sus pantalones vaqueros. Escucho una palabrota y noto que algo afilado golpea ligeramente mi cabeza. El tipo gordo del mostrador eructa. —Uh, ese tipo acaba de lanzarte una patata. —Está enfadado porque yo he ganado, buen señor. —Suspiro feliz—. Y está molesto porque hasta ahora se está dando cuenta de que voy a seguir ganando.

The hospice fridge is filled with cream: ice cream, sour cream, heavy cream, cans and cans of whipped cream. There’s definitely a now or never feeling about food around here, and it makes you wonder what you think you might be waiting for in your own life. I mean, crusty, gooey mac and cheese? Thickly frosted éclairs? Velveeta melted over a plate of potato chips—what the nurses call the house nachos? Eat your kale and blueberries and whatever else, but go ahead. Have some of the good stuff now too. We

On the other hand, dogs eat with gusto, play with exuberance, work happily when given the opportunity, surrender themselves to the wonder and the mystery of their world, and love extravagantly. Envy infects the human heart; if we envy, next we covet, and what we covet becomes the object of our all-consuming avarice. If we live without envy, with the humility and the joyful gratitude of dogs—nachos! ball! cuddle time!—we will be ready even for Death when he comes for us, content that we have made good use of the gift of life.

Since we had brought the offerings, I figured I had better talk to one of the ñatitas. I asked Nacho to influence the U.S. presidential election, which was being held the next day. I can only assume that either Nacho was not the right ñatita for American political matters or was rusty in his English.

THE COUNCIL WAS NOTHING LIKE Jason imagined. For one thing, it was in the Big House rec room, around a Ping-Pong table, and one of the satyrs was serving nachos and sodas. Somebody had brought Seymour the leopard head in from the living room and hung him on the wall. Every once in a while, a counselor would toss him a Snausage. Jason looked around the room and tried to remember everyone’s name. Thankfully, Leo and Piper were sitting next to him—it was their first meeting as senior counselors. Clarisse, leader of the Ares cabin, had her boots on the table, but nobody seemed to care. Clovis from Hypnos cabin was snoring in the corner while Butch from Iris cabin was seeing how many pencils he could fit in Clovis’s nostrils. Travis Stoll from Hermes was holding a lighter under a Ping-Pong ball to see if it would burn, and Will Solace from Apollo was absently wrapping and unwrapping an Ace bandage around his wrist. The counselor from Hecate cabin, Lou Ellen something-or-other, was playing “got-your-nose” with Miranda Gardiner from Demeter, except that Lou Ellen really had magically disconnected Miranda’s nose, and Miranda was trying to get it back. Jason had hoped Thalia would show. She’d promised, after all—but she was nowhere to be seen. Chiron had told him not to worry about it. Thalia often got sidetracked fighting monsters or running quests for Artemis, and she would probably arrive soon. But still, Jason worried. Rachel Dare, the oracle, sat next to Chiron at the head of the table. She was wearing her Clarion Academy school uniform dress, which seemed a bit odd, but she smiled at Jason. Annabeth didn’t look so relaxed. She wore armor over her camp clothes, with her knife at her side and her blond hair pulled back in a ponytail. As soon as Jason walked in, she fixed him with an expectant look, as if she were trying to extract information out of him by sheer willpower. “Let’s come to order,” Chiron said. “Lou Ellen, please give Miranda her nose back. Travis, if you’d kindly extinguish the flaming Ping-Pong ball, and Butch, I think twenty pencils is really too many for any human nostril. Thank you. Now, as you can see, Jason, Piper, and Leo have returned successfully…more or less. Some of you have heard parts of their story, but I will let them fill you in.” Everyone looked at Jason. He cleared his throat and began the story. Piper and Leo chimed in from time to time, filling in the details he forgot. It only took a few minutes, but it seemed like longer with everyone watching him. The silence was heavy, and for so many ADHD demigods to sit still listening for that long, Jason knew the story must have sounded pretty wild. He ended with Hera’s visit right before the meeting.

espléndido.

Mientras hubiera alguien al otro lado, los carteles seguirían enviando mercancia. Y al otro lado siempre había alguien.

you pillagers weren’t doing that great either. Hiding out in your caves would’ve just made you Nullified food. I doubt Lily would have agreed to come back with us if she really thought you bandits could’ve survived a Nullified attack on your own.” ​Their faces fell. Nacho scowled at me. “Hey! What do you know?” ​I shrugged my shoulders. “Enough to beat your captain one-on-one.

On the bright side, I have figured out how to fix the American educational system. End it at sixth grade.” “Brilliant. Then what?” “Lock them up in empty factories, give them all the Red Bull, condoms, and nachos they want, pipe in club music, and check back when they’re twenty-five. Anyone still alive, we send to grad school.” Wade pushed his glass forward. “How’s that for a campaign platform?

She reminded me of the girls I'd grown up with. Spoiled, undeniably pretty girls who tirelessly solicited compliments by claiming to be disgusted by their looks (too fat, too thin), who'd beg you to order nachos or fries to share! and then, claiming loss of appetite, sit and stare at you while you ate like they were watching porn. Who one day are your best friends and the next the agents of your destruction.

Something settled inside me then, a deep serenity, the kind I thought I would get from rehab, but didn’t. It wasn’t S.....He was part of the picture, but I knew better than to expect someone to fill my empty spaces. I thought it might have been the act of standing in one place long enough to look around. I was taking stock in St. Nacho’s, making a new list of what I didn’t want and, maybe more importantly, what I did

Instead of a boozy happy hour after work, soaking up inflammatory alcohol, you can meet up with your friends for a workout or a game of softball or Frisbee—something that actually makes your body feel good and is a better bonding activity than pounding beers and nachos. This way, instead of feeling deprived of social engagement, you rewrite the rules of social engagement to work for you. You’re making a new kind of human connection.

Dear Pinterest, When we first started dating, you lured me in with Skittles-flavored vodka and Oreo-filled chocolate chip cookies. You wooed me with cheesy casseroles adjacent to motivational fitness sayings. I loved your inventiveness: Who knew cookies needed a sugary butter dip? You did. You knew, Pinterest. You inspired me, not to make stuff, but to think about one day possibly making stuff if I have time. You took the cake batter, rainbow and bacon trends to levels nobody thought were possible. You made me hungry. The nights I spent pinning and eating nachos were some of the best nights of my life. Pinterest, we can’t see each other anymore. You see, it’s recently come to my attention that some people aren’t just pinning, they are making. This makes me want to make, too. Unfortunately, I’m not good at making, and deep down I like buying way more. Do you see where I’m going with this? I’m starting to feel bad, Pinterest. I don’t enjoy you the way I once did. We need to take a break. I’m going to miss your crazy ideas (rolls made with 7Up? Shut your mouth). This isn’t going to be easy. You’ve been responsible for nearly every 2 a.m. grilled cheese binge I’ve had for the past couple of years, and for that I’ll be eternally grateful. Stay cool, Pinterest. PS. You hurt me. PPS. I’m also poor now. Xo Me 10

High school hockey games in Bethel, Maine, drew the same kind of crowds high school football did in Midwestern communities. There were girls standing in the lobby, fixing their lipstick in the reflection of the plate-glass windows, and toddlers weaving through the denim forest of grown-up legs. The grizzled man who sold hot dogs and nachos and Swiss Miss cocoa had taken up residence behind the kitchenette and was singing Motown as he ladled sauerkraut into a bun.

- I'll throw the world at your feet, girl. He began to stroke my bare shoulder with his hand, following the movement of his fingers. - I'll show you places you never dreamed of. He leaned down and kissed the piece of skin he was stroking. "I want you to see the sunrise in Burma when we fly a balloon." His lips rolled down my neck. - Let you get drunk at night in Tokyo, watching the colorful lights of the city. I closed my eyes as Nacho's lips stroked my ear. - You'll love me on a board off the coast of Australia. I will show you the whole world.

Cheat (sometimes) Eating healthily is a part of my lifestyle, but I’m no superhuman. My Kryptonite is at the movie theater. I can’t go to the movies unless I have popcorn (with butter and salt, of course), and I’ll also get nachos with extra cheese and jalapeños, then some M&Ms, water, and a root beer if I really want to get crazy. It’s okay to cheat…provided you do it only occasionally. If you never allow yourself to cheat, you put too much pressure on yourself and doom yourself to failure. Work hard and practice hard, but it’s okay to cut yourself a break now and then.

Nilijifunza toka awali umuhimu wa kushindwa katika maisha ijapokuwa nilijitahidi sana, na nilipoendelea kushindwa niliweka nadhiri ya kufanya kitu kimoja kilicholeta maana zaidi katika maisha yangu nacho ni uandishi wa vitabu. Uandishi wa vitabu ndicho kitu pekee nilichokiweza zaidi kuliko vingine vyote na kuanzia hapo Mungu aliniweka huru. Nilijua mimi ni nani. Nilijua kwa nini nilizaliwa. Nilijifunza falsafa ya kuacha dunia katika hali nzuri kuliko nilivyoikuta – kwa sababu hata mimi nilikuwepo – na falsafa ya kushindwa si hiari. Maarifa hayo yakafanya niwe na heshima na upendo kwa watu wote.

What’s wrong?” Lane ran his thumb over my cheek. “I wish… I just…” I frowned, trying to find the words I wanted. “I want to go home. I want to go check on Iggy. I want this to be a really bad and really long nightmare. I wish that instead of being in the truck, we were on our couch. You’d be sitting with your legs stretched out and I’d be lying on your lap. We could watch a movie. We’d be having a beer and nachos… I’d kill for a fucking beer right now.” I stopped my rambling to swallow down the lump forming in my throat. “It will be okay.” He pressed his lips to my forehead. “I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but someone will figure it out and they’ll find a way to fix it. We’re safe here for now.” He maneuvered over the shift stick settled himself beside me. I laid my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes as he smoothed my hair. “Lane?” “Hmmm?” I looked up at him and raised a hand to touch his cheek. My heart skipped, my lips brushed over his, and I took a deep breath. I remembered all those times I’d told him, but at the same time hadn’t told him. I decided that from now on, for whatever time we had left, he’d know. “I love you, Lane. Always have.” His smile melted every bone in my body. “I love you, Gabrielle. Always will.

The longer I procrastinate on returning phone calls and emails, the more guilty I feel about it. The guilt I feel causes me to avoid the issue further, which only leads to more guilt and more procrastination. It gets to the point where I don’t email someone for fear of reminding them that they emailed me and thus giving them a reason to be disappointed in me. Then the guilt from my ignored responsibilities grows so large that merely carrying it around with me feels like a huge responsibility. It takes up a sizable portion of my capacity, leaving me almost completely useless for anything other than consuming nachos and surfing the Internet like an attention-deficient squirrel on PCP.

Remember that time at Freddy’s when the merry-go-round got stuck, and Marla and that mean kid Billy had to keep riding it until their parents plucked them off?” Charlie said. John laughed, and the sound made her smile. “Their faces were bright red, crying like babies.” She covered her face, guilty that it was so funny to her. There was a brief, surprised silence, then Carlton started laughing. “Then Marla puked all over him!” “Sweet justice!” Charlie said. “Actually, I think it was nachos,” John added. Jessica wrinkled her nose. “So gross. I never rode it again, not after that.” “Oh, come on, Jessica, they cleaned it,” said Carlton. “I’m pretty sure kids puked all over that place; those wet floor signs weren’t there for nothing. Right, Charlie?” “Don’t look at me,” she said. “I never puked.

Mostly Gaylord deals with insurance scamming. He takes a car off a lot and the insurance company pays.” “That’s still stealing.” “I guess, but it’s an insurance company, and everyone hates those people.” “I don’t hate them.” “Well, you’re weird,” Lula said. “Do you like the car?” “I love the car.” “There you go. And by the way, you might want to put a dab of concealer on your nose.” Kranski’s Bar was on the corner of Mayberry Street and Ash. This was a neighborhood very similar to the Burg, but the houses were a little larger, the cars were newer, the kitchen appliances were probably stainless. I parked in the small lot beside the tavern, and Lula and I sashayed into the dim interior. Bertie was working behind the bar that stretched across the back of the room. A bunch of high-top tables were scattered around the front of the room. Two women sat at one of the tables, eating nachos and drinking martinis. At one end of the bar four men were drinking beer and watching the overhead television. I spotted Kenny Morris at the other end. He was alone, nursing what looked like whiskey. Bertie caught my eye, tilted his head toward Kenny, and I nodded back. “I guess that’s the guy you’re looking for,” Lula said. “You want to tag-team him?” “No. I just want to talk to him. I’ll go it alone.” Lula hoisted herself onto a barstool by the four men, and I approached Kenny. “Anyone sitting here?” I asked him. “No,” he said. “No one ever sits there.” “Why not?” “The television is at the other end.” “But you’re here.” “Yeah, I’m not into the team television thing.” He looked a lot like his yearbook photograph. His hair was a little longer. He was slim. Medium height. Pleasant looking. Wearing jeans and a blue dress shirt with the top button open and the sleeves rolled. He was staring at my nose with an intensity usually displayed by dermatologists during a skin cancer exam. I couldn’t blame him. I’d smeared some makeup on it, but even in the dark bar it was emitting a red glow. “It’s a condition,” I said. “It comes and goes. It’s not contagious or anything. Do you come in here often?” “Couple times a week.

Knock, knock. Who's there? A: Lettuce Q: Lettuce who? A: Lettuce in, it's freezing out here.. . 2. Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The elf-abet . 3. Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Because: 7 8 9 . . 4. Q. how do you make seven an even number? A. Take out the s! . 5. Q: Which dog can jump higher than a building? A: Anydog – Buildings can’t jump! . 6. Q: Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach? A: Because they might peel! . 7. Q. How do you make a tissue dance? A. You put a little boogie in it. . 8. Q: Which flower talks the most? A: Tulips, of course, 'cause they have two lips! . 9. Q: Where do pencils go for vacation? A: Pencil-vania . 10. Q: What did the mushroom say to the fungus? A: You're a fun guy [fungi]. . 11. Q: Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road? A: To go with the traffic jam! . 11. Q: What do you call cheese that’s not yours? A: Nacho cheese! . 12. Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: Because you can see right through them. . 13. Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? A: He wanted to go to high school. . 14. Q: How do you catch a unique animal? A: You neak up on it. Q: How do you catch a tame one? A: Tame way. . 15. Q: Why is the math book always mad? A: Because it has so many problems. . 16. Q. What animal would you not want to pay cards with? A. Cheetah . 17. Q: What was the broom late for school? A: Because it over swept. . 18. Q: What music do balloons hate? A: Pop music. . 19. Q: Why did the baseball player take his bat to the library? A: Because his teacher told him to hit the books. . 20. Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? A: Odor in the court! . 21. Q: Why are fish so smart? A: Because they live in schools. . 22. Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian? A: He felt funny! . 23. Q: What animal has more lives than a cat? A: Frogs, they croak every night! . 24. Q: What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A: A pie-thon! . 25. Q: Why is a fish easy to weigh? A: Because it has its own scales! . 26. Q: Why aren’t elephants allowed on beaches? A:They can’t keep their trunks up! . 27. Q: How did the barber win the race? A: He knew a shortcut! . 28. Q: Why was the man running around his bed? A: He wanted to catch up on his sleep. . 29. Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 8 9! . 30. Q: What is a butterfly's favorite subject at school? A: Mothematics. Jokes by Categories 20 Mixed Animal Jokes Animal jokes are some of the funniest jokes around. Here are a few jokes about different animals. Specific groups will have a fun fact that be shared before going into the jokes. 1. Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bull-dozer. . 2. Q: What to polar bears eat for lunch? A: Ice berg-ers! . 3. Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk.

Abro la puerta del patio. No llueve. Bien. Pero nada más salir, mi pie izquierdo pisa la mierda del perro. ¡Joder! ¡Vaya tela!

I can literally taste the nutmeg silt from the bottom of a pumpkin spice latte on my tongue when her husband (CON) comes over with a towering plate of food for her (PRO) and coaxes her away from my table. I start to say “hey, do you like tweeting?” or some other useless shit, but she’s got that goddamn baby and this Jedi Knight is looming anxiously over us balancing a precarious platter of nachos, so I stammer out a “Nice talking to ya!” in my most nasal midwestern twang and go back to fucking around on my phone.

For example, the Chinese invented gunpowder. But for some reason these perennial warriors and kung-fu fighters weren’t savvy enough to use their invention as a weapon of war. The ancient Indians are widely credited with inventing the numerical system we currently use. But they certainly didn’t invent calculus like Newton and Leibniz did. Most uncomfortable for egalitarians and their ilk is that there are vast landmasses—sometimes entire continents—where the indigenous inhabitants have invented virtually nothing. Sub-Saharan Africans are not known for contributing much to rocket science, and black Americans are so underrepresented as inventors that everyone has heard a gorillion times about the mulatto who improved blood-storage methods and George Washington Carver’s wondrous dalliances with the magical peanut. The so-called “Native Americans” are credited with inventing the spinning top, which somehow proved incapable of defending them against the white man and his guns. And Australia’s aborigines? Well, let’s not talk about them, because they’d be embarrassed. Peruvians can take pride in developing the art of potato cultivation. And I’ve already covered the Mexicans and their nachos.

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a bookworm ho with a fading Mexican complexion. Young people of color are supposed to enjoy looting and eating trans fats, not sustained silent reading, but I found a way to reconcile my assigned stereotype with my passions. I microwaved nachos and ate them while reading Jackie Collins paperbacks I stole from my mother—trans fats, looting, and literature.

Sabemos que la grasa corporal cumple funciones esenciales en nuestro organismo y valores demasiado bajos pueden tener consecuencias muy negativas, especialmente en la mujer, en la que puede desencadenar un proceso de amenorrea. Además, una delgadez excesiva también impone mayor presión al sistema inmunitario.

The pandemic exposed key challenges in food delivery. Not all foods travel well even in short distances. Chefs toil to perfect recipes and customers expect the food as it appears on the restaurant website but time in transit distorts. A meatball sub barely survives a few feet let alone a car ride. Tomato sauce spills over the sandwich collecting at the bottom to soak the bread. Barbecue dishes suffer from congealing while nachos arrive both moist and brittle. Calamari grows chewy, mozzarella sticks turn into heavy weapons, and fries arrive limp. The enemy to food delivery, beyond stop lights, is moisture.

I couldn’t decide if it was cheesy or lovely. I settled on cheesily lovely, like the ooey-gooey cheese they squirt on nachos at the movies—strangely wonderful despite how awful it is.

Veremos que Spinoza desarrolla, en su Ética, una filosofía que enlaza Lógica, Ética y Física, las tres disciplinas estoicas. Las tres son lenguajes diferentes para expresar y encaminarnos hacia una misma naturaleza, la de la Realidad, Logos, Ser, Dios o Naturaleza. La filosofía estoica es también una filosofía no-dual, aunque menos explícita y coherente que la de Spinoza, que busca la correspondencia con la Naturaleza de la misma manera que Spinoza nos descubre el Contento. Voy a considerar a Spinoza como el estoico más depurado de la tradición filosófica occidental.

Defendemos que el pensamiento de Spinoza aspira continuamente hacia el entusiasmo, recogiendo el significado etimológico de la palabra entheos (en-Theos, «estar en Dios») y, como veremos, engarza con la tradición filosófica más radical, siendo fiel a la máxima délfica, que señala que el conocimiento de uno mismo supone el conocimiento del Universo (Dios-Verdad). El amor que lo imprime y dirige, el amor a la sabiduría, descubre a aquel que se encamina por su senda como un philo-sophos, fundamentalmente, alguien que se corresponde con el Logos o Ser.

La dimensión corpórea queda silenciada u oculta bajo la constante actividad de la dimensión mental, convertida en única regenta de un cuerpo cada vez más deshabitado.

I wanted to share the new [written] work with my wife, but decided not to, as she was pregnant and now generally only answered questions about nachos.

Amped-Up Vegetable Nachos This dish comes out of the oven sizzling and bubbling and is devoured as soon as it hits the table. Everybody loves nachos, but it’s not typically a dish that offers much in the way of nutrition. We’ve taken these up a notch by loading them with kale, corn, beans, and avocado. And yes, cheese, too. The end result is addictive.

I know this / is our first date / and that’s a lot / to share over nachos, / but I’d ideally tell you everything about me, / preferably before dessert.

A Redfang cobra tat peeks from his unbuttoned collar. I zero in on the spot as I reach for my gun. “Ten points if I hit a snake eye.” “A hundred points if you stop talking.” I shut up. Points can be exchanged for nachos.

I spin around. Nacho is puking up panty parts like a priest is conducting a lingerie exorcism of his esophagus.

el recorrido filosófico que proponemos tiene dos dimensiones. Muestra, en primer lugar, un panorama teórico desde el que acercarnos a una filosofía vital que reivindica lo corporal como camino de autoconocimiento y ensalza la profunda alegría que aparece al alinear nuestra vida con nuestra naturaleza más íntima. No toda la filosofía occidental ha participado en el menosprecio hacia lo corpóreo, sino que algunos destellos han mantenido lo corporal (Epicuro, Nietzsche, Schopenhauer, etc.) como un elemento central tanto en las reflexiones que han desarrollado como, y es esto lo que nos interesa, en las indicaciones de un trabajo de autoconocimiento más profundo y radical.

Spinoza es, en este sentido, el filósofo más radical en su propuesta. Con él queremos mostrar no sólo la profundidad que mora en la dimensión corporal, sino las implicaciones no-duales que aparecen con la emergencia de un vibrar que nombra como Contento y que, lo veremos, es la manifestación de un Impulso de vida que honra aquello que somos y convierte la vida no en una reflexión sobre la muerte, sino en una meditación para la vida. Dicho vibrar aparece dirigiendo la mirada hacia lo corpóreo. Ésta es una parte más teórica y, queriendo ser lo más fiel a Spinoza, desarrolla su pensamiento siguiendo el orden de su obra más representativa, la Ética demostrada según el orden geométrico o nombrada, llanamente, Ética.

La segunda dimensión consiste en recorrer ese camino desde la dimensión del autoconocimiento, es decir, dejándonos mecer por el cuidado y respeto que cualquier trabajo filosófico de este tipo implica. En este sentido, somos deudores del psicoanálisis y, concretamente, de la bioenergética. Este movimiento crítico con el olvido del cuerpo en la propia disciplina psicoanalítica permite comprender tanto el porqué de la dualidad, como ser, a la vez, una fuente inspiradora para orientar el camino hacia una filosofía encarnada tanto en el nivel teórico como en el práctico.

Spinoza, como veremos, afirma que tanto el cuerpo como los pensamientos son modos de expresión de una única Realidad. No somos, por tanto, nuestros pensamientos, nuestro cuerpo o ese yo que tan a menudo cree coordinar nuestra acción y se narra a sí mismo para tener un anclaje donde subsistir. En este libro entendemos el cuerpo como un camino que, llegado a un punto, es fundamental dejar ir o, más precisamente, un sendero que se funde con lo que subyace en él. Encaminarnos por él es, de hecho, una concesión para hacer más fácil la experiencia de Unidad.

Sometimes being nervous is okay; it means you’re brave and ready to face your fears.

We spend a good few minutes wrangling with nachos. To be honest, they’re a good fit for the very unusual occasion of two people who are blatantly into each other having a meal where they have to pretend they aren’t. They’re not so messy it’s embarrassing, they require just enough cooperation that you’ve got to interact, but not so much it gets sexy

Ignore him. He thinks the Last Supper was nachos and Twinkies.

Remember when we used to be friends?” he murmured. I squirmed in his hold, flashing back to the last time he touched me this way. It wasn’t quite non-consensual because the words couldn’t seem to climb out of my throat, but if he really cared enough to notice, he’d know I didn’t want his hands on me. “That was a long time ago, Nate.” I wriggled in his hold, but his arm could have been an iron band around me. Each of his fingertips dug into my upper arm hard enough, I was sure there would be marks when he finally let me go. “Come on, man.” His friend, the nacho thief, swatted Nate’s knee. “I’m bored. Let’s get outta here.” Nate leaned his head against mine. “I’m good here. Think I’ll watch the rest of the game beside my girl, Grace.” A phantom voice cut through the night from behind us. “I don’t think your pretty girlfriend would like that too much, Bergen.” Nate jumped to his feet, spinning to face my defender. “Fuck off, Vega. You don’t know shit.

Because nachos got me. They were basically just tacos that didn’t have their life together.

Supergoobers are like hot peppers. Or staring at the sun. You can’t take too much at once. So we busted back to the hideout and spent the rest of the day hooting and replaying every moment. We were sitting in a circle. “Care to help!” “Consolidate our efforts!” “Hi, guys!” “Want some lemonade!” “Hi, Soop! I can’t believe you said that.” “He never noticed.” “Wow, Ernie—you’re really somethin’. That was awesome, Bump. How’d you keep a straight face?” “We can’t help—we got blisters!” We laughed so hard our stomachs hurt. Then questions came. “How did he get that way?” “He was born that way.” “Don’t parents have something to do with it?” “Every goober I knew, their parents were perfectly normal.” “What if a supergoober has a brother or sister? Would they be supergoobers too?” “I got a cousin who’s a goober. Some days he’s even a supergoober.” This was Bump talking. We were all ears. “He has two sisters, my girl cousins. And they’re normal. I mean, for girls.” “So,” said Nacho, “there’s five people in the family and only one is a goober?

la primera finalidad del libro. Mostrar un sendero, a través de un pensamiento lógico, para provocar esta tarea de desvelo. Para dejar de creer en aquello sobre lo que reposan la mayoría de nuestras acciones, pensamientos y emociones. Dejar de ser lo que creemos y desvelar aquello que realmente somos.

En este sentido, ésta es la segunda finalidad del libro, la de poner en paralelo la filosofía de Spinoza con la corriente de filosofía no-dual. Veremos que, si bien no hay un decir tan claro, sí podemos afirmar que hay muchas similitudes, tantas que permiten hacer esta comparación y, como espero argumentar, la inclusión o cercanía con ellas.

la tercera finalidad del libro, resaltar la dimensión corporal que, en la tradición filosófica occidental, ha quedado marginada o menospreciada. Spinoza es una excepción y todavía lo es más por otorgar un papel relevante a lo corporal en una filosofía que se encamina hacia el desvelo de la Unidad.

Una cuarta finalidad del libro, somera y soterrada, es mostrar a Spinoza como un filósofo estoico. Soterrada porque no hay una comparativa expresa entre ambas filosofías, sino llanamente la inclusión de Spinoza en esta escuela.

El quinto propósito es mostrar la alegría o el Contento. Celebrar y honrar que, en la tradición occidental y en pleno Barroco, aparezca la figura valiente, honesta y humilde de un filósofo que señale el Contento como la característica y el modo de vibrar de la propia realidad. Spinoza nos parece un entusiasta del abismo.

This is fucking bullshit!” I slip my feet into my fluffy slippers, pull my robe closed, and march across the street. As I bang on the front door, it flings open. There are at least a half-dozen naked women traipsing across the room, gyrating on beefy athletes and doing God knows what. My eyes dart to the sound system, and since I’ve given into my inner psycho, I head straight to it and yank the plug out of the wall. The silence makes everyone look up, and I realize I’m staring at my brother, who looks horrified to see me. And then I realize why and turn away before I hurl. Because the girl down on her knees in front of him is obviously not praying. Jesus, I’m gonna need so much therapy one day. I clear my throat and address the crowd at large. “Some people have to work tomorrow, assholes. Can you keep it the fuck down? Stop terrorizing this neighborhood. The world does not revolve around you and your dumb football games!” I’m screeching. I can’t help it. I’m half-asleep and so hungry I’m nauseous. My eyelids flutter. God, I feel woozy. It’s almost like… Almost like… that time I passed out. Oh, shit. Am I going to pass out again? I can’t remember the last time I ate. Jason and I were supposed to get dinner, which turned into soggy nachos from the gas station, which I passed on. I blink. And blink again. Everything feels fuzzy, like it’s wrapped in film. I don’t even care that Jason is here, and he’s missing clothes. “Shit, Gabby. This isn’t what it looks like.” Ignoring him, I stumble to what I think is the front door, lean against it, and close my eyes. I want to tell Jason to leave me alone, except I’m afraid I’m going to drop to the floor if I let go of the doorframe. Then I hear the little cry. It sounds like a baby. And that’s when I know I must be losing my mind.

When we’re done, he motions toward my plate. “Are you doing better with your hypoglycemia?” I pause. We’ve never discussed the details of what happened last May, but he must have overheard me talking to the paramedics that day. “Is that why you always try to feed me? First the pizza and now waffles.” He gives me a sheepish smile. “I don’t know. Maybe. Is that wrong?” “No, it’s sweet. But I’m doing better. I haven’t had any episodes since the night we found Poppy. That was the last time I felt dizzy. I went too long without eating. It was an accident, really.” “What happened?” “A bad date.” “That dick Jason didn’t feed you?” I laugh at Rider’s intensity. “Jason’s idea of dinner was nachos from that gas station, which I passed on. That’s how I ended up light-headed later. But unless you’re planning on taking me on a bad date, we should be good.” Rider gives me a wolfish grin. “I plan on doing a lot of things with you. Bad dates aren’t one of them.