Nacho Quotes

He was chugging brown pop from a can Jack had handed him while he stuffed nacho cheese Doritos in his face. I was glad to see he looked lots better, almost completely like himself, which proves Doritos and brown pop really are health foods.

I plead alignment to the flakes of the untitled snakes of a merry cow and to the republicans for which they scam: one nacho, underpants with licorice and jugs of wine for owls.

This is a combo between Taco and Burrito, nacho!

We have some nachos left.” Carlos motioned to a plate on the table. “But I don’t suppose you’re interested.” “I already ate.” Ian sat at the end of the table. “Anyone we know?” Carlos’s amber eyes twinkled. “Ouch.” He glared at Toni.

Yes, my style sucks. But at least I didn't bowl half a game with a nacho stuck to my ass.

I’ll be back with the sandwiches,” she said. “But I had some leftover seven-layer dip.” “Yum.” Percy dug in with a tortilla chip. “She’s kinda famous for this, guys.” Sally ruffled his hair. “There’s guacamole, sour cream, refried beans, salsa—” “Seven layers?” I looked up in wonder. “You knew seven is my sacred number? You invented this for me?” Sally wiped her hands on her apron. “Well, actually, I can’t take credit—” “You are too modest!” I tried some of the dip. It tasted almost as good as ambrosia nachos. “You will have immortal fame for this, Sally Jackson!

Then the guilt from my ignored responsibilities grows so large that merely carrying it around with me feels like a huge responsibility. It takes up a sizable portion of my capacity, leaving me almost completely useless for anything other than consuming nachos and surfing the Internet like an attention-deficient squirrel on PCP.

I am the gatekeeper of my own destiny and I will have my glory days in the hot sun

Listen, Tiny Bartender.' He grabbed the plate of nachos and slid it in front of her, because they both knew she loved selecting the first chip. 'You have bewitched me body and soul, and I love you three times. Please tell me my hands are cold so we can get on with our lives already.

But so far he's stayed so deep in the closet, they're going to crown him king of Narnia.

I stock up on fancy food because I’m also planning on morphing into a master chef and actually cooking instead of just eating nachos for dinner every night.

That was Genus Homo, species Whowantstofuckus, subspecies Headup Hisassia. Let us move on to the cages with the interesting animals. Jacob to Ben describing JT

I grew up on a working ranch, and there was way too much to do.” “You what? A working ranch? Like…a cowboy?” Cam rolled his eyes. “I guess.” “You’re a cowboy and a fireman?” “Yes, Daniel,” Cam said dryly. “It’s almost as if I am half of the Village People, all rolled into one.

I didn't despise myself for being who I was, and I never would. I wouldn't allow anyone to make me feel bad about that. That was a line I could draw in the sand.

Maybe she was a little dark but she sort of sparkled with it. Jacob about Muse

A bottle of wine. A family-sized packet of Nacho Cheese Flavoured Tortilla Chips and a jar of hot salsa dip. A packet of cigarettes on the side (I know, I know). The rain hammering against the windows. And a book. What could have been lovelier?

For about four years, I’ve been telling people I hate sour cream. One time I sent back nachos because they had sour cream on them. I started saying this because a friend I admire hates sour cream. I told him I hated it too so we could have a funny thing in common.

Why do you gotta be going somewhere? Seems like it should be enough that we had nachos. And we got meaningful jobs. We catch bad guys. If it wasn't for us, there'd be vampires and all kinds of shit running around loose.

She looks tan...-ish." "There's a fine line between 'tan', and looking like you just rolled around in a giant bag of Doritos. And Miranda seems to prefer the nacho cheese variety.

I’m a thief, because I stole her heart. That’s so cheesy that I had to end it with nachos.

Ken brought my hand to his lips and kissed it. I'd been paying so much attention to Ken, I didn't know what happened during the game. I don't think anyone cared too much what the outcome was after Ken's at bat. "Do you know who won?" I asked Cooper, who automatically translated into sign language for Shawn. Shawn laughed his odd laugh and signed something back. He looked at Ken, who had an arm wrapped possessively around my waist. Cooper grinned. "Shawn says it looks like you did, Jordie.

Whoever had covered our sidewalk with seals and signs apparently had an ax to grind, but I wasn’t worried. Whatever they wanted, I wasn’t about to let it get to me. Nothing could feel quite so benign as a warm spring day in St. Nacho’s. So… For some unknown—and probably unknowable—reason, the Witches of Westwick were trying to freak me out. I blew out a long, thin stream of smoke and grinned. Cool. - Daniel Livingston

Let me tell you, nothing puts you off your bar-food nachos quicker than a lecture on the color and consistency of slug secretions.

Me: Because you like him. Bea: I’ll like him for about ten minutes while he bangs me on boxes of nacho cheese.

Why would you put bacon on nachos in the first place?” Misha asked. “Dude. We’re in America. We put bacon on everything.

Newel and Doren had inexhaustibly consumed milkshakes, burgers, sandwiches, tacos, nachos, pretzels, nuts, beef jerky, trail mix, soda, doughnuts, candy bars, cookies, crackers, and aerosol cheese. Of the fifty most impressive belches Seth had witnessed in his life, all had occurred on this road trip.

Newel and Doren had inexhaustibly consumed milkshakes, burgers, sandwiches, tacos, nachos, pretzels, nuts, beef jerky, trail mix, soda, doughnuts, candy bars, cookies, crackers, and aerosol cheese. Of the fifty most impressive belches Seth had witnessed in his life, all had occurred on this road trip. “I hate to interrupt the feasting,” Vanessa said, “but we did come here for a purpose. Let’s try to focus on something besides sweet fat and salty fat for the next little while.” “Some of us have fast metabolisms,” Doren mumbled. “We just want fuel in the tank before we risk our necks,” Newel complained.

Max had no idea, but figured it had to be easier than getting around the gait monitor. “Let me worry about that. Just answer the question. Can you do it?” “Can I get you boys some more nachos? Or maybe some sliders?” Their waitress spoke with a Southern accent that Max would have found charming under other conditions. He brushed her away without looking up. Wang spent another second savoring Max’s suffering while he pretended to ponder. The obvious ploy made Max want to slap him. “Technically, it’s well within our capabilities.

That?" I glanced back to the door where JT had disappeared. "That was Genus Homo, species Whowantstofuckus, subspecies Closeted Headup Hisassia. Let us move on to the cages with the interesting animals." --Jacob "Yasha" Livingston

What we take from granted in the United States as being Mexican, to those from southern Mexico, is almost completely foreign. Rural Mexicans don't have the spare money to drown their food in melted cheese. They don't smother their food in mounds of sour cream. Who would pay for it? They have never seen "nachos." In some regions of the south, they eat soup with bananas; some tribal folks not far from Veracruz eat termite tacos; turkey, when there are turkeys, is not filled with "stuffing"―but with dry pineapples, papaya, pecans. Meat is killed behind the house, or it is bought, dripping and flyblown, off a wooden plank in the village market. They eat cheeks, ears, feet, tails, lips, fried blood, intestines filled with curdled milk. Southerners grew up eating corn tortillas, and they never varied in their diet. You find them eating food the Aztecs once ate. Flour tortillas, burritos, chimichangas―it's foreign food to them, invented on the border. They were alliens before they ever crossed the line.

Since we had brought the offerings, I figured I had better talk to one of the natitas. I asked Nacho to influence the U.S. presidential election, which was being held the next day. I can only assume that either Nacho was not the right natita for American political matters or was rusty in his English.

My hot-as-fuck Mistress makes nachos, watches football, and has a book club. Careful, baby, I’m gonna start thinking you’re a real person and not an angel sent from heaven to jack my shit.” She started laughing, through it saying, “I’m sure you’ll agree I’m no angel.” He moved his face close to her. “Don’t know about that.

I liked laughing, I found out, and music. I liked nice people, getting up early, and working hard. I liked simple pleasures, like my toes in the sand and someone to kiss.

When I write I am an avocado, and in a team sport setting, I am guacamole. And not to sour cream on your dreams, but with my love life, I am a nacho.

duties. Cooking duty. Dead guy duty. Maybe it’s time for me to get a better duty. Nacho Libre, Nacho Libre

But so far he’s stayed so deep in the closet, they’re going to crown him king of Narnia.

The waiter arrives, swapping out the empty appetizer plate with a giant platter of nachos, piled high with roasted pork, gooey cheese, and all the fixings.

a sloth in a bar eating nachos.

I don’t need vitamins. I need nacho cheese and chocolate sauce.

The French don't snack. They will tear off the endo of a fres baguette (which, if it's warm, it's practically impossible to resist) and eat it as they leave the boulangerie. And that's usually all you will see being consumed on the street. Compare that with the public eating and drinking that goes on in America: pizza, hot dogs, nachos, tacos, heroes, potato chips, sandwiches, jerricans of coffee, half-gallon buckets of Coke (Diet, of cours) and heaven knows what else being demolished on the hoof, often on the way to the aerobic class.

Besides, I’m fine with how fat I am. For a long time I was in a war with food and now I’m not. I’ve engineered a ceasefire. All weapons have been melted down and poured over nachos.

Everyone turned to look at me and started clapping. It was so embarrassing. My hands were all greasy, I had nachos smeared all over my lips and my mouth was filled to the brim with food.

Kwa sababu ya udadisi wa hali ya juu nasoma kila kitu ninachokutana nacho hasa vile visivyonipendeza. Ukitaka kupata maarifa usisome tu vitabu vinavyokupendeza. Soma vitabu visivyokupendeza.

However, using insidious and irresistible mind-control techniques such as offering us Mountain Dew and a ton of nachos, the naval bigwigs had managed to corral us in this room for a debriefing.

Jack y yo somos los dos últimos en ponernos los zapatos. Él suspira y se encoje de hombros. —Ninguno de los dos ha ganado, pero yo bien podría haberlo hecho. Ambos sabemos que he lanzado tácticamente más el juego. Tu estilo es un desastre tremendamente ilógico. —Sí, mi estilo es una mierda. Pero al menos yo no he lanzado la mitad de un una partida con un nacho pegado a mi culo. Sonrió mientras me alejo tranquilamente, dejando que Jack palpe violentamente la parte trasera de sus pantalones vaqueros. Escucho una palabrota y noto que algo afilado golpea ligeramente mi cabeza. El tipo gordo del mostrador eructa. —Uh, ese tipo acaba de lanzarte una patata. —Está enfadado porque yo he ganado, buen señor. —Suspiro feliz—. Y está molesto porque hasta ahora se está dando cuenta de que voy a seguir ganando.

On the other hand, dogs eat with gusto, play with exuberance, work happily when given the opportunity, surrender themselves to the wonder and the mystery of their world, and love extravagantly. Envy infects the human heart; if we envy, next we covet, and what we covet becomes the object of our all-consuming avarice. If we live without envy, with the humility and the joyful gratitude of dogs—nachos! ball! cuddle time!—we will be ready even for Death when he comes for us, content that we have made good use of the gift of life.

Since we had brought the offerings, I figured I had better talk to one of the ñatitas. I asked Nacho to influence the U.S. presidential election, which was being held the next day. I can only assume that either Nacho was not the right ñatita for American political matters or was rusty in his English.

THE COUNCIL WAS NOTHING LIKE Jason imagined. For one thing, it was in the Big House rec room, around a Ping-Pong table, and one of the satyrs was serving nachos and sodas. Somebody had brought Seymour the leopard head in from the living room and hung him on the wall. Every once in a while, a counselor would toss him a Snausage. Jason looked around the room and tried to remember everyone’s name. Thankfully, Leo and Piper were sitting next to him—it was their first meeting as senior counselors. Clarisse, leader of the Ares cabin, had her boots on the table, but nobody seemed to care. Clovis from Hypnos cabin was snoring in the corner while Butch from Iris cabin was seeing how many pencils he could fit in Clovis’s nostrils. Travis Stoll from Hermes was holding a lighter under a Ping-Pong ball to see if it would burn, and Will Solace from Apollo was absently wrapping and unwrapping an Ace bandage around his wrist. The counselor from Hecate cabin, Lou Ellen something-or-other, was playing “got-your-nose” with Miranda Gardiner from Demeter, except that Lou Ellen really had magically disconnected Miranda’s nose, and Miranda was trying to get it back. Jason had hoped Thalia would show. She’d promised, after all—but she was nowhere to be seen. Chiron had told him not to worry about it. Thalia often got sidetracked fighting monsters or running quests for Artemis, and she would probably arrive soon. But still, Jason worried. Rachel Dare, the oracle, sat next to Chiron at the head of the table. She was wearing her Clarion Academy school uniform dress, which seemed a bit odd, but she smiled at Jason. Annabeth didn’t look so relaxed. She wore armor over her camp clothes, with her knife at her side and her blond hair pulled back in a ponytail. As soon as Jason walked in, she fixed him with an expectant look, as if she were trying to extract information out of him by sheer willpower. “Let’s come to order,” Chiron said. “Lou Ellen, please give Miranda her nose back. Travis, if you’d kindly extinguish the flaming Ping-Pong ball, and Butch, I think twenty pencils is really too many for any human nostril. Thank you. Now, as you can see, Jason, Piper, and Leo have returned successfully…more or less. Some of you have heard parts of their story, but I will let them fill you in.” Everyone looked at Jason. He cleared his throat and began the story. Piper and Leo chimed in from time to time, filling in the details he forgot. It only took a few minutes, but it seemed like longer with everyone watching him. The silence was heavy, and for so many ADHD demigods to sit still listening for that long, Jason knew the story must have sounded pretty wild. He ended with Hera’s visit right before the meeting.

espléndido.

Mientras hubiera alguien al otro lado, los carteles seguirían enviando mercancia. Y al otro lado siempre había alguien.

you pillagers weren’t doing that great either. Hiding out in your caves would’ve just made you Nullified food. I doubt Lily would have agreed to come back with us if she really thought you bandits could’ve survived a Nullified attack on your own.” ​Their faces fell. Nacho scowled at me. “Hey! What do you know?” ​I shrugged my shoulders. “Enough to beat your captain one-on-one.

On the bright side, I have figured out how to fix the American educational system. End it at sixth grade.” “Brilliant. Then what?” “Lock them up in empty factories, give them all the Red Bull, condoms, and nachos they want, pipe in club music, and check back when they’re twenty-five. Anyone still alive, we send to grad school.” Wade pushed his glass forward. “How’s that for a campaign platform?

She reminded me of the girls I'd grown up with. Spoiled, undeniably pretty girls who tirelessly solicited compliments by claiming to be disgusted by their looks (too fat, too thin), who'd beg you to order nachos or fries to share! and then, claiming loss of appetite, sit and stare at you while you ate like they were watching porn. Who one day are your best friends and the next the agents of your destruction.

Something settled inside me then, a deep serenity, the kind I thought I would get from rehab, but didn’t. It wasn’t S.....He was part of the picture, but I knew better than to expect someone to fill my empty spaces. I thought it might have been the act of standing in one place long enough to look around. I was taking stock in St. Nacho’s, making a new list of what I didn’t want and, maybe more importantly, what I did

Instead of a boozy happy hour after work, soaking up inflammatory alcohol, you can meet up with your friends for a workout or a game of softball or Frisbee—something that actually makes your body feel good and is a better bonding activity than pounding beers and nachos. This way, instead of feeling deprived of social engagement, you rewrite the rules of social engagement to work for you. You’re making a new kind of human connection.

Dear Pinterest, When we first started dating, you lured me in with Skittles-flavored vodka and Oreo-filled chocolate chip cookies. You wooed me with cheesy casseroles adjacent to motivational fitness sayings. I loved your inventiveness: Who knew cookies needed a sugary butter dip? You did. You knew, Pinterest. You inspired me, not to make stuff, but to think about one day possibly making stuff if I have time. You took the cake batter, rainbow and bacon trends to levels nobody thought were possible. You made me hungry. The nights I spent pinning and eating nachos were some of the best nights of my life. Pinterest, we can’t see each other anymore. You see, it’s recently come to my attention that some people aren’t just pinning, they are making. This makes me want to make, too. Unfortunately, I’m not good at making, and deep down I like buying way more. Do you see where I’m going with this? I’m starting to feel bad, Pinterest. I don’t enjoy you the way I once did. We need to take a break. I’m going to miss your crazy ideas (rolls made with 7Up? Shut your mouth). This isn’t going to be easy. You’ve been responsible for nearly every 2 a.m. grilled cheese binge I’ve had for the past couple of years, and for that I’ll be eternally grateful. Stay cool, Pinterest. PS. You hurt me. PPS. I’m also poor now. Xo Me 10

High school hockey games in Bethel, Maine, drew the same kind of crowds high school football did in Midwestern communities. There were girls standing in the lobby, fixing their lipstick in the reflection of the plate-glass windows, and toddlers weaving through the denim forest of grown-up legs. The grizzled man who sold hot dogs and nachos and Swiss Miss cocoa had taken up residence behind the kitchenette and was singing Motown as he ladled sauerkraut into a bun.

The hospice fridge is filled with cream: ice cream, sour cream, heavy cream, cans and cans of whipped cream. There’s definitely a now or never feeling about food around here, and it makes you wonder what you think you might be waiting for in your own life. I mean, crusty, gooey mac and cheese? Thickly frosted éclairs? Velveeta melted over a plate of potato chips—what the nurses call the house nachos? Eat your kale and blueberries and whatever else, but go ahead. Have some of the good stuff now too. We

- I'll throw the world at your feet, girl. He began to stroke my bare shoulder with his hand, following the movement of his fingers. - I'll show you places you never dreamed of. He leaned down and kissed the piece of skin he was stroking. "I want you to see the sunrise in Burma when we fly a balloon." His lips rolled down my neck. - Let you get drunk at night in Tokyo, watching the colorful lights of the city. I closed my eyes as Nacho's lips stroked my ear. - You'll love me on a board off the coast of Australia. I will show you the whole world.

Cheat (sometimes) Eating healthily is a part of my lifestyle, but I’m no superhuman. My Kryptonite is at the movie theater. I can’t go to the movies unless I have popcorn (with butter and salt, of course), and I’ll also get nachos with extra cheese and jalapeños, then some M&Ms, water, and a root beer if I really want to get crazy. It’s okay to cheat…provided you do it only occasionally. If you never allow yourself to cheat, you put too much pressure on yourself and doom yourself to failure. Work hard and practice hard, but it’s okay to cut yourself a break now and then.

Nilijifunza toka awali umuhimu wa kushindwa katika maisha ijapokuwa nilijitahidi sana, na nilipoendelea kushindwa niliweka nadhiri ya kufanya kitu kimoja kilicholeta maana zaidi katika maisha yangu nacho ni uandishi wa vitabu. Uandishi wa vitabu ndicho kitu pekee nilichokiweza zaidi kuliko vingine vyote na kuanzia hapo Mungu aliniweka huru. Nilijua mimi ni nani. Nilijua kwa nini nilizaliwa. Nilijifunza falsafa ya kuacha dunia katika hali nzuri kuliko nilivyoikuta – kwa sababu hata mimi nilikuwepo – na falsafa ya kushindwa si hiari. Maarifa hayo yakafanya niwe na heshima na upendo kwa watu wote.

What’s wrong?” Lane ran his thumb over my cheek. “I wish… I just…” I frowned, trying to find the words I wanted. “I want to go home. I want to go check on Iggy. I want this to be a really bad and really long nightmare. I wish that instead of being in the truck, we were on our couch. You’d be sitting with your legs stretched out and I’d be lying on your lap. We could watch a movie. We’d be having a beer and nachos… I’d kill for a fucking beer right now.” I stopped my rambling to swallow down the lump forming in my throat. “It will be okay.” He pressed his lips to my forehead. “I don’t know what the fuck is going on, but someone will figure it out and they’ll find a way to fix it. We’re safe here for now.” He maneuvered over the shift stick settled himself beside me. I laid my head against his shoulder and closed my eyes as he smoothed my hair. “Lane?” “Hmmm?” I looked up at him and raised a hand to touch his cheek. My heart skipped, my lips brushed over his, and I took a deep breath. I remembered all those times I’d told him, but at the same time hadn’t told him. I decided that from now on, for whatever time we had left, he’d know. “I love you, Lane. Always have.” His smile melted every bone in my body. “I love you, Gabrielle. Always will.

The longer I procrastinate on returning phone calls and emails, the more guilty I feel about it. The guilt I feel causes me to avoid the issue further, which only leads to more guilt and more procrastination. It gets to the point where I don’t email someone for fear of reminding them that they emailed me and thus giving them a reason to be disappointed in me. Then the guilt from my ignored responsibilities grows so large that merely carrying it around with me feels like a huge responsibility. It takes up a sizable portion of my capacity, leaving me almost completely useless for anything other than consuming nachos and surfing the Internet like an attention-deficient squirrel on PCP.

Remember that time at Freddy’s when the merry-go-round got stuck, and Marla and that mean kid Billy had to keep riding it until their parents plucked them off?” Charlie said. John laughed, and the sound made her smile. “Their faces were bright red, crying like babies.” She covered her face, guilty that it was so funny to her. There was a brief, surprised silence, then Carlton started laughing. “Then Marla puked all over him!” “Sweet justice!” Charlie said. “Actually, I think it was nachos,” John added. Jessica wrinkled her nose. “So gross. I never rode it again, not after that.” “Oh, come on, Jessica, they cleaned it,” said Carlton. “I’m pretty sure kids puked all over that place; those wet floor signs weren’t there for nothing. Right, Charlie?” “Don’t look at me,” she said. “I never puked.

Mostly Gaylord deals with insurance scamming. He takes a car off a lot and the insurance company pays.” “That’s still stealing.” “I guess, but it’s an insurance company, and everyone hates those people.” “I don’t hate them.” “Well, you’re weird,” Lula said. “Do you like the car?” “I love the car.” “There you go. And by the way, you might want to put a dab of concealer on your nose.” Kranski’s Bar was on the corner of Mayberry Street and Ash. This was a neighborhood very similar to the Burg, but the houses were a little larger, the cars were newer, the kitchen appliances were probably stainless. I parked in the small lot beside the tavern, and Lula and I sashayed into the dim interior. Bertie was working behind the bar that stretched across the back of the room. A bunch of high-top tables were scattered around the front of the room. Two women sat at one of the tables, eating nachos and drinking martinis. At one end of the bar four men were drinking beer and watching the overhead television. I spotted Kenny Morris at the other end. He was alone, nursing what looked like whiskey. Bertie caught my eye, tilted his head toward Kenny, and I nodded back. “I guess that’s the guy you’re looking for,” Lula said. “You want to tag-team him?” “No. I just want to talk to him. I’ll go it alone.” Lula hoisted herself onto a barstool by the four men, and I approached Kenny. “Anyone sitting here?” I asked him. “No,” he said. “No one ever sits there.” “Why not?” “The television is at the other end.” “But you’re here.” “Yeah, I’m not into the team television thing.” He looked a lot like his yearbook photograph. His hair was a little longer. He was slim. Medium height. Pleasant looking. Wearing jeans and a blue dress shirt with the top button open and the sleeves rolled. He was staring at my nose with an intensity usually displayed by dermatologists during a skin cancer exam. I couldn’t blame him. I’d smeared some makeup on it, but even in the dark bar it was emitting a red glow. “It’s a condition,” I said. “It comes and goes. It’s not contagious or anything. Do you come in here often?” “Couple times a week.

Knock, knock. Who's there? A: Lettuce Q: Lettuce who? A: Lettuce in, it's freezing out here.. . 2. Q: What do elves learn in school? A: The elf-abet . 3. Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7? A: Because: 7 8 9 . . 4. Q. how do you make seven an even number? A. Take out the s! . 5. Q: Which dog can jump higher than a building? A: Anydog – Buildings can’t jump! . 6. Q: Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach? A: Because they might peel! . 7. Q. How do you make a tissue dance? A. You put a little boogie in it. . 8. Q: Which flower talks the most? A: Tulips, of course, 'cause they have two lips! . 9. Q: Where do pencils go for vacation? A: Pencil-vania . 10. Q: What did the mushroom say to the fungus? A: You're a fun guy [fungi]. . 11. Q: Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road? A: To go with the traffic jam! . 11. Q: What do you call cheese that’s not yours? A: Nacho cheese! . 12. Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: Because you can see right through them. . 13. Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? A: He wanted to go to high school. . 14. Q: How do you catch a unique animal? A: You neak up on it. Q: How do you catch a tame one? A: Tame way. . 15. Q: Why is the math book always mad? A: Because it has so many problems. . 16. Q. What animal would you not want to pay cards with? A. Cheetah . 17. Q: What was the broom late for school? A: Because it over swept. . 18. Q: What music do balloons hate? A: Pop music. . 19. Q: Why did the baseball player take his bat to the library? A: Because his teacher told him to hit the books. . 20. Q: What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room? A: Odor in the court! . 21. Q: Why are fish so smart? A: Because they live in schools. . 22. Q: What happened when the lion ate the comedian? A: He felt funny! . 23. Q: What animal has more lives than a cat? A: Frogs, they croak every night! . 24. Q: What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A: A pie-thon! . 25. Q: Why is a fish easy to weigh? A: Because it has its own scales! . 26. Q: Why aren’t elephants allowed on beaches? A:They can’t keep their trunks up! . 27. Q: How did the barber win the race? A: He knew a shortcut! . 28. Q: Why was the man running around his bed? A: He wanted to catch up on his sleep. . 29. Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7? A: Because 7 8 9! . 30. Q: What is a butterfly's favorite subject at school? A: Mothematics. Jokes by Categories 20 Mixed Animal Jokes Animal jokes are some of the funniest jokes around. Here are a few jokes about different animals. Specific groups will have a fun fact that be shared before going into the jokes. 1. Q: What do you call a sleeping bull? A: A bull-dozer. . 2. Q: What to polar bears eat for lunch? A: Ice berg-ers! . 3. Q: What do you get from a pampered cow? A: Spoiled milk.

We can’t expect our gay friends to always be single, celibate, and arriving early with the nacho fixin’s. And we really need to let these people get married, already.

Where do pencils go for vacation? A: Pencil-vania . 10. Q: What did the mushroom say to the fungus? A: You're a fun guy [fungi]. . 11. Q: Why did the girl smear peanut butter on the road? A: To go with the traffic jam! . 11. Q: What do you call cheese that’s not yours? A: Nacho cheese! . 12. Q: Why are ghosts bad liars? A: Because you can see right through them. . 13. Q: Why did the boy bring a ladder to school? A: He wanted to go to high school.

Guacamole makes an excellent facial cream. It won’t reduce wrinkles, but I’d sure enjoy scraping it off your skin while you sleep, as I munch on nachos as quietly as I can.

I started by eating a large bag of Cheetos. The bright orange color would serve as a marker during the purge. It would be a map, almost, telling me how far I’d come and how much further I needed to go. When I saw orange vomit cascading from my mouth and flowing in chunks between the two rigid fingers jammed against my gag reflex, I’d know I’d passed 7-Eleven and then I’d make my way back to the restaurant and back through each course beginning with the corn chips, the enchiladas, and ending with the nachos.

—Cuando te clavan un puñal no dejamos nunca de sentir los perfiles de la herida, por mucho que haya cicatrizado —reflexionó Candela en voz alta.

Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? A: Nacho cheese.

¡Pá los amigos la mano, pá los otros el cuchillo!

—Hay veces, querida —intervino Candela cuando la mesa volvió a estar recompuesta—, que no se puede dejar de amar, te hagan el daño que te hagan, te amen en la sombra o gritándolo al mundo, incluso te amen o no. El amor a menudo no tiene dos direcciones. Otras veces tiene tantas direcciones que es complicado ubicarlo. Pero sin él no sabemos vivir. Ese es el patrimonio más grande que tenemos.

Wait. It's cool! Betty shares her nachos. What a non-bogus babe Betty is.

There had been vague threats and seductive hands and nachos and beer, but Oscar hadn't noticed an offer, per se.

El amor es a menudo una herida abierta que únicamente deja de doler cuando asumimos que nos sangra y seguimos caminando sin estancarnos en ella.

Q: What do you call cheese that doesn’t belong to you? A: Nacho cheese.

If Minecraft had a Mexican version, what would be added? A: Notch-os! (nachos)

—Han asesinado al padre Ellacuría, al padre Segundo Montes, a Nacho Martín-Baró, a Amando López, a Joaquín López y López, al padre Juan Ramón Moreno… —¿Pero tú estás bien? —insistió la voz de Roma.

So essentially you can cut out 80% of the stuff you’re doing, sit on the couch eating nachos instead and you’ll still get most of the result you’re getting. If you don’t want to sit on the couch chowing down on nachos 80% of the time, then doing more of the 20% stuff is your fast track to success. And in this context success = more money with less work.

Despite the chaos, our family had a solid routine. Weekends were spent at the cabin where we enjoyed the quiet. A few times a week, Raven and Lark trained at Big Bob’s. My kids and I cawed for mommy during games. Once a week, we dropped by Cooper’s new house to add to his chaos. At least twice a week, we lived at the bowling alley. All the kids loved the game and River was quite talented like his pop. Our youngest Nevaeh even enjoyed bowling before she was born. Every time we were at the alley, the baby would kick the hell out of Raven. My woman responded by eating nachos. While I never understood the plan behind dosing our unborn kid with cheese, who was I to question her tactics?

If you are under thirty, you probably don’t even realize there was a time when people didn’t have nachos. We just stood around eating crackers.

Star announces that she needs to go to the bathroom and I see my chance. As the waiter goes past I ask if I can I swap my chilli sauce for extra hot chilli sauce. I think he feels sorry for me and rushes off to change the sauce bottles. I quickly swap it with the bottle next to Star’s plate.   Star returns and grabs the extra hot sauce bottle and dumps the whole lot over her nachos. She must be hungry, as she quickly scoffs two large mouthfuls of food into her mouth. Suddenly her eyes widen and she starts to cough. I guess that the extra hot chilli sauce is starting to take effect. While she is distracted I hand her the second bottle of chilli sauce, she thinks it is her soft drink and takes a large gulp. Her eyes bulge like some type of wild cartoon character and she explodes. A mouthful of sauce and nachos flies across the table. A bit hits Mom, but most of it splashes onto Demi. Needless to say, after that, lunch is over.   The

... like blood moving to a frozen extremity, my return to human interaction wasn’t without discomfort. I felt unbearably awkward, relying heavily on him to show me what he liked, to tell me what to do to please him. I knew I wanted to go from being passive to actively pleasing him, to giving instead of just taking. I had a moment of real respect for the ease of being thrown against a wall and fucked hard.

SAMUEL, el ciclista de oro Nacho Labarga

Alonso decidía congelar su proyecto de equipo: “Lo hemos intentado hasta el final, pero ha sido realmente imposible tener un equipo ciclista en 2014. Mi pasión por este deporte, las ganas de colaborar y poner nuestro granito de arena permanecen intactas, con lo que esto solamente ha sido el comienzo del futuro. Desde mañana empezamos a trabajar en construir, si hiciera falta desde la nada, un equipo del que podamos sentirnos orgullosos… El ciclismo y sus aficionados se merecen lo mejor y ahora disponemos de tiempo para ello. No ha podido ser, ¡pero será! Esta aventura no ha hecho más que empezar. ¡Con ilusión a por el 2015!”.

El primer dorsal como profesional se lo colgó Samuel Sánchez el 6 de febrero del 2000 en Palma de Mallorca.Tenía 22 años. El asturiano relató de su puño y letra la experiencia en una columna, aquí, resumida, publicada el día siguiente en La Voz de Asturias: 'El sueño de cualquier niño ya es realidad' La nueva temporada ciclista ha echado a andar y me piden unas líneas a través de las que expresar las sensaciones vividas en mi primera experiencia como un integrante más del pelotón profesional. Desde aquí, en el descanso del trepidante primer día de carrera, lo primero que se me ocurre decir es que ahora sí me creo que formo parte de esta gran familia. Ello no significa que antes no lo tuviera claro. Para eso se firmaron unos compromisos con mi equipo, el Euskaltel- Euskadi. Me veía con la ropa –por cierto, de un llamativo y bonito color naranja–, entrenándome a tope al lado de los otros profesionales asturianos, pero me faltaba algo. Era la competición. El primer contacto ya ha llegado y empiezo a convencerme del lugar en el que me encuentro. Las ilusiones y las ganas por hacerlo bien en esta temporada de estreno son aún mayores, si cabe, que las que tenía el día que me confirmaron el paso a la máxima categoría. El sueño de cualquier niño que empieza a correr en bicicleta ya es una realidad en mi vida. El pelotón profesional es otro mundo. Me ha dejado impresionado el montaje de alrededor".

They hadn't had a real meal together in years. Those late, boozy nights with sloppy cheeseburgers and too many appetizers were long gone. No longer would they get pasta and wine by the bottle, telling their Sicilian server not to judge them for how much cheese they wanted ground over their gnocchi and carbonara. They would drink beer and share those plasticky nachos and watch awful bands cover extremely good bands. Their indulgence might kill them one day, but wasn't it worth it? That had been her opinion. She'd never really considered what would happen once the indulgence was gone. Margo, luckily, was always up for whatever challenge made her days more interesting. She was constantly trying to make dupes for whatever she- or he- was really in the mood for. Egg white huevos rancheros, turkey meat loaf, chicken chili, and on one disastrous Thanksgiving, Tofurkey. Nutritional yeast weakly filled the big shoes of good Parmesan. Lettuce did the minimum to live up to the utility purpose of a tortilla while textured vegetable protein tried pitifully to be taco meat.

It occurred to Norris at that moment that Hairy Armpits probably would never give this moment a second thought, whereas, for Norris, it was already congealing into something rock-hard in his chest. It would definitely be one of those repressed high school wounds that only decades of living on a yacht made of nachos would someday come close to healing.

Some say the world will end with Kris Some say with Bimb. From what I know of nacho abyss I hold with those who favor Kris.

Abro la puerta del patio. No llueve. Bien. Pero nada más salir, mi pie izquierdo pisa la mierda del perro. ¡Joder! ¡Vaya tela!

Read some Books!

Nacho Warrior Pheonix200811 Tantancrafter LightningDude17 Noerbegood Natalie D. Simmons Special Tes Wabester BaldTortoise804 TheAntDestroyer Fang L MrPerson2econd Renee Fire Star Cosmicguard1an Amazon Customer Aagman Mumfy Phoenix demonslayer1709 Pravin Krishthegreat

The ride home is pretty quiet, except for me munching my nachos and Star’s occasional coughing and whimpering that her mouth is on fire. The waiter put my nachos in a takeaway

Ya

La edad regalaba un desparpajo que eliminaba lo accesorio y potenciaba lo esencial

Recordad que el secreto de la felicidad está en la libertad y el secreto de la libertad, en el coraje

For example, the Chinese invented gunpowder. But for some reason these perennial warriors and kung-fu fighters weren’t savvy enough to use their invention as a weapon of war. The ancient Indians are widely credited with inventing the numerical system we currently use. But they certainly didn’t invent calculus like Newton and Leibniz did. Most uncomfortable for egalitarians and their ilk is that there are vast landmasses—sometimes entire continents—where the indigenous inhabitants have invented virtually nothing. Sub-Saharan Africans are not known for contributing much to rocket science, and black Americans are so underrepresented as inventors that everyone has heard a gorillion times about the mulatto who improved blood-storage methods and George Washington Carver’s wondrous dalliances with the magical peanut. The so-called “Native Americans” are credited with inventing the spinning top, which somehow proved incapable of defending them against the white man and his guns. And Australia’s aborigines? Well, let’s not talk about them, because they’d be embarrassed. Peruvians can take pride in developing the art of potato cultivation. And I’ve already covered the Mexicans and their nachos.

I call this the Fortress Fallacy, because it’s as if we imagine that we will build a giant fortress when we’ve never laid a single brick in our lives. We want to open a Michelin-star restaurant, but we still haven’t gone past microwave nachos. We want to write a novel, but we’ve never written anything longer than a quick email.