Murray Bowen Quotes

I consider rugged individualism to be an exaggerated pretend posture of a person struggling against emotional fusion. The differentiated person is always aware of others and the relationship system around him.

There is a tendency in all of us to want to see schizophrenia...as somehow separate from ourselves. There is a certain comfort...in building a barrier that says 'schizophrenia' on one side and 'normal' on the other. The 'normals' often benevolently minister to the 'schizophrenic' ones and, in this effort to be helpful, often firm up the barrier, further isolating the schizophrenic person and family. This barrier is of our own making, not nature's act.

According to Murray Bowen (1978), as a child becomes more of an individual, the emotionally immature parent’s knee-jerk reaction is to do something that attempts to force the child back into an enmeshed pattern. If the child doesn’t take the bait, such parents may ultimately start relating in a more genuine way.

Family system theory which was proposed by Murray Bowen in 1978 gives an insight on how immature parents create emotional enmeshment over their children true self.  Parents who are immature do not have genuine conversations and intimacy with their children. Such families are better referred to as housemates. Bowen further explained that when parents tend to cause emotional injuries into their children, rather than the children sitting to mourn, such children should indulge into other things that make them happy without losing themselves in the process.