Murray Bowen Quotes

I consider rugged individualism to be an exaggerated pretend posture of a person struggling against emotional fusion. The differentiated person is always aware of others and the relationship system around him.

Family system theory which was proposed by Murray Bowen in 1978 gives an insight on how immature parents create emotional enmeshment over their children true self.  Parents who are immature do not have genuine conversations and intimacy with their children. Such families are better referred to as housemates. Bowen further explained that when parents tend to cause emotional injuries into their children, rather than the children sitting to mourn, such children should indulge into other things that make them happy without losing themselves in the process.

There is a tendency in all of us to want to see schizophrenia...as somehow separate from ourselves. There is a certain comfort...in building a barrier that says 'schizophrenia' on one side and 'normal' on the other. The 'normals' often benevolently minister to the 'schizophrenic' ones and, in this effort to be helpful, often firm up the barrier, further isolating the schizophrenic person and family. This barrier is of our own making, not nature's act.

According to Murray Bowen (1978), as a child becomes more of an individual, the emotionally immature parent’s knee-jerk reaction is to do something that attempts to force the child back into an enmeshed pattern. If the child doesn’t take the bait, such parents may ultimately start relating in a more genuine way.

Upon reflection, I came up with my theoretical statement which lands in the assimilative integrative theoretical orientation camp: Fundamentally, I believe that a person’s family environment, birth order, and early childhood experiences (all within their cultural context) significantly influence personality development, shaping how they interact with others and the world. Sometimes, these influences can lead to patterns of thought that are flawed, perhaps due to adverse circumstances or family dysfunction. These patterns can impact brain development and a general approach to life. My role is to guide my clients in understanding the link between their experiences, these patterns, and in identifying a new orientation that enables them to utilize coping skills and uncover internal resources that have always been present. I greatly respect my clients and their autonomy, acknowledging that they may not always comprehend the subconscious forces at play. It is vital to bring these subconscious elements into awareness. It is essential to help clients recognize the significance of their past coping mechanisms and the potential for growth through increased awareness. I also emphasize the interconnectedness of their work in therapy with me and its impact on their other relationships, encouraging awareness of these dynamics. In this statement, you can hear the influence of Alfred Adler, Murray Bowen, Carl Rogers, Victor Frankl, and the influence of neuro-informed counseling.