“
Like dry ground welcoming the rain, he let the solitude, silence, and loneliness soak in.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Whether you want to or not. But the place you return to is always slightly different from the place you left. That’s the rule. It can never be exactly the same.” A
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
So in the end maybe that’s the challenge: to look inside your own heart as perceptively and seriously as you can, and to make peace with what you find there. If we hope to truly see another person, we have to start by looking within ourselves.” Takatsuki
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
You are a pastel-colored Persian carpet, and loneliness is a Bordeaux wine stain that won’t come out
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women: Stories)
“
Music has that power to revive memories, sometimes so intensely that they hurt. But
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
If you don’t know what you’re looking for, it’s not easy to look for it.” Erika
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
When I should have felt real pain, I stifled it. I didn’t want to take it on, so I avoided facing up to it. Which is why my heart is so empty now.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
There were times he thought it would have been far better to never have known. Yet he continued to return to his core principle: that, in every situation, knowledge was better than ignorance. However agonizing, it was necessary to confront the facts. Only through knowing could a person become strong.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Tobacco’s a killer,” Kafuku said. “Being alive is a killer, if you think about it,” Misaki said.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women: Stories)
“
One day, I lost sight of her. I happened to glance away for a moment, and when I turned back, she had disappeared.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
I need to learn not just to forget but to forgive.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Dreams are the kind of things you can—when you need to—borrow and lend out,
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
When I thought of how I’d been living, how I’d been approaching life, it was all so trite, so miserably pointless. Unimaginative middle-class rubbish, and I wanted to gather it all up and stuff it away in some drawer. Or else light it on fire and watch it go up in smoke (though what kind of smoke it would emit I had no idea).
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
The scene seemed somehow divorced from reality, although reality, he knew, could at times be terribly unreal.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
dry ground welcoming the rain, he let the solitude, silence, and loneliness soak in.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
I’m human, after all. I was hurt. But whether it was a lot or a little I can’t say.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
But there are times in this world when it’s not enough just not to do the wrong thing
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women: Stories)
“
Still, when you get to a certain age, and have created your own lifestyle and social standing, and only then start having grave doubts about your value as a human being,
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Here's what hurst the most," Kafuku said. "I didn't truly understand her--or at least some crucial part of her. And it may well end that way now that she's dead and gone. Like a small, locked safe lying at the bottom of the ocean. It hurts a lot."
Tatsuki thought for a moment before speaking.
"But Mr. Kafuku, can any of us ever perfectly understand another person? However much we may love them?
”
”
Haruki Murakami
“
Some people are polite, and some are quick. Each one’s a good quality to have, but most of the time quickness trumps politeness.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
All he could do was wait like this, patiently, until it grew light out and the birds awoke and began their day. All he could do was trust in the birds, in all the birds, with their wings and beaks.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
That's what we all do : endlessly take the long way around.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Women are all born with a special, independent organ that allows them to lie. This was Dr. Tokai's personal opinion. It depends on the person, he said about the kind of lies they tell, what situation they tell them in, and how the lies are told. But at a certain point in their lives, all women tell lies, and they lie about important things. They lie about unimportant things, too, but they also don't hesitate to lie about the most important things. And when they do, most women's expressions and voices don't change at all, since it's not them lysing, but this independent organ they're equipped with that's acting on its own. That's why - except for a few special cases - they can still have a clear conscience and never lose sleep over anything they say.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
It was as if he felt that the black symbols flowing from his brush onto the pure white paper could somehow lay bare the workings of his heart.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
every situation, knowledge was better than ignorance. However agonizing, it was necessary to confront the facts. Only through knowing could a person become strong.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Whether you want to or not. But the place you return to is always slightly different from the place you left. That’s the rule. It can never be exactly the same.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
can any of us ever perfectly understand another person? However much we may love them?
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
I’ve been out with lots of woman who are much prettier than her, better built, with better taste, and more intelligent. But those comparisons are meaningless.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
In his life, after all, he had achieved nothing, had been totally unproductive. He couldn’t make anyone else happy, and, of course, couldn’t make himself happy. Happiness? He wasn’t even sure what that meant. He didn’t have a clear sense, either, of emotions like pain or anger, disappointment or resignation, and how they were supposed to feel. The most he could do was create a place where his heart - devoid now of any depth or weight - could be tethered, to keep it from wandering aimlessly
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Hombres sin mujeres)
“
Here's what hurts the most," Kafuku said. "I didn't truly understand her--or at least some crucial part of her. And it may well end that way now that she's dead and gone. Like a small, locked safe lying at the bottom of the ocean. It hurts a lot."
Tatsuki thought for a moment before speaking.
"But Mr. Kafuku, can any of us ever perfectly understand another person? However much we may love them?
”
”
Haruki Murakami
“
Then back to the stage, and the acting. The bright lights, the rehearsed lines. The applause, the falling curtain. Leaving who one was for a brief time, then returning. But the self that one returned to was never exactly the same as the self that one had left behind.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
I have to somehow get connected to reality again, he thought, or else I won’t be me anymore. I’ll become a man who doesn’t exist.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
So in the end maybe that’s the challenge: to look inside your own heart as perceptively and seriously as you can, and to make peace with what you find there. If we hope to truly see another person, we have to start by looking within ourselves.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
The way surviving hard winters makes a tree grow stronger, the growth rings inside it tighter.” I tried to imagine growth rings inside me. But the only thing I could picture was a leftover slice of Baumkuchen cake, the kind with treelike rings inside.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Crying for someone else is nothing to apologize about,” I told him. “Especially someone you care for, someone who’s passed away
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women: Stories)
“
I don’t want to overestimate myself. Basically I’ve been lucky. I’m simply a polite, lucky man. That might be the best way to think of it.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
I forgot my eraser,” I told her, “so if you have an extra, could you let me borrow it?” She took her eraser, broke it in two, and gave me half. And smiled broadly. Like the saying goes, in that instant I fell in love.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
That’s right,” Kafuku said. “Whether you want to or not. But the place you return to is always slightly different from the place you left. That’s the rule. It can never be exactly the same.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Why a unicorn? Maybe the unicorn, too, is one of the Men Without Women. I mean, I've never seen a unicorn couple. He -- it has to be a he, right? -- is always alone, sharp horn thrust toward the sky. Maybe we should adopt him as the symbol of Men Without Women, of the loneliness we carry as our burden. Perhaps we should sew unicorn badges on our breast pockets and hats, and quietly parade down streets all over the world. No music, no flags, no ticker tape. Probably.
”
”
Haruki Murakami
“
The absence of conversation didn’t bother Kafuku. He wasn’t good at small talk. While he didn’t dislike talking to people he knew well about things that mattered, he otherwise preferred to remain silent.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Have you ever tried really hard not to love somebody too much?”
“Why?”
“It’s simple, really. If I love her too much, it’s painful. I can’t take it. I don’t think my heart can stand it, which is why I’m trying not to fall in love with her.”
“What are you doing, exactly, so that you don’t love her too much?”
“I’ve tried all kinds of things,” he said. “But it all boils down to intentionally thinking negative thoughts about her as much as I can. I mentally list as many of her defects as I can come up with—her imperfections, I should say. And I repeat these over and over in my head like a mantra, convincing myself not to love this woman more than I should.”
“Has it worked?”
“No, not so well.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Hombres sin mujeres)
“
As with most people who are well raised, well educated, and financially secure, Dr. Tokai only thought of himself.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women: Stories)
“
The world was a vast ocean with no landmarks, Kino a little boat that had lost its chart and its anchor.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
But he doubted the dead could think or feel anything. In his opinion, that was ones of the great things about dying.
”
”
Haruki Murakami
“
But the proposition that we can look into another person’s heart with perfect clarity strikes me as a fool’s game.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Having seen my love now / and said farewell / I know how very shallow my heart was of old / as if I had never before known love,
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
There were two types of drinkers: those who drank to enhance their personalities, and those who sought to rid themselves of something.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Kino pulled the covers up, shut his eyes, and covered his ears with his hands. I’m not going to look, not going to listen, he told himself. But he couldn’t drown out the sound. Even if he ran to the far corners of the earth and stuffed his ears full of clay, as long as he was still alive those knocks would relentlessly track him down. It wasn’t a knocking on a door in a business hotel. It was a knocking on the door to his heart. A person couldn’t escape that sound.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Life is strange, isn’t it? You can be totally entranced by the glow of something one minute, be willing to sacrifice everything to make it yours, but then a little time passes, or your perspective changes a bit, and all of a sudden you’re shocked at how faded it appears. What was I looking at?
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Yet he continued to return to his core principle: that, in every situation, knowledge was better than ignorance. However agonizing, it was necessary to confront the facts. Only through knowing could a person become strong.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
It’s quite easy to become Men Without Women. You love a woman deeply, and then she goes off somewhere. That’s all it takes. Most of the time (as I’m sure you’re well aware) it’s crafty sailors who take them away. They sweet-talk them into going with them, then carry them off to Marseilles or the Ivory Coast. And there’s hardly anything we can do about it. Or else the women have nothing to do with sailors, and take their own lives. And there’s very little we can do about that, too. Not even the sailors can do a thing.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Maybe I’m trying to write about essence, rather than the truth. But writing about an essence that isn’t true is like trying to rendezvous with someone on the dark side of the moon. It’s dim and devoid of landmarks. And way too big.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
It feels like somehow our hearts have become intertwined. Like when she feels something, my heart moves in tandem. Like we’re two boats tied together with rope. Even if you want to cut the rope, there’s no knife sharp enough to do it. Later
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
can barely recall it myself. How much did I suffer? How much pain did I go through? I wish there was a machine that could accurately measure sadness, and display it in numbers that you could record. And it would be great if that machine could fit in the palm of your hand. I think of this every time I measure the air in my tires.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
To put a finer point on it, Tokai was always a casual number-two lover, a convenient rainy-day boyfriend, or else a handy partner for a casual fling.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women: Stories)
“
Maybe working on the little things as dutifully and honestly as we can is how we stay sane when the world is falling apart.” The
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
That's what it's like to lose a woman. And at a certain time, losing one woman means losing all women. That's how we become Men Without Women.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Hombres sin mujeres)
“
Why a unicorn? Maybe the unicorn, too, is one of the Men Without Women.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Dreams are the kind of things you can—when you need to—borrow and lend out,” I said.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
In a concentration camp Pinot Noir, amateur piano performances, and sparkling conversational skills would be totally useless.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Because you already know what it means to be Men Without Women. You are a pastel-colored Persian carpet, and loneliness is a Bordeaux wine stain that won’t come out.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
She was the type of person who could think things through on her own. So how could she fall for a nonentity like that and go to bed with him? It's still a thorn in my heart.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
It’s simple, really. If I love her too much, it’s painful. I can’t take it. I don’t think my heart can stand it, which is why I’m trying not to fall in love with her.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
But the place you return to is always slightly different from the place you left. That’s the rule. It can never be exactly the same.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
This was ambiguity: holding on to an empty space between two extremes. “You were hurt, a little, weren’t you?” his wife had asked. “I’m human, after all. I was hurt,” he’d replied. But that wasn’t true. Half of it, at least, was a lie. I wasn’t hurt enough when I should have been, Kino admitted to himself. When I should have felt real pain, I stifled it. I didn’t want to take it on, so I avoided facing up to it. Which is why my heart is so empty now. The snakes have grabbed that spot and are trying to hide their coldly beating hearts there.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Имам чувството, че нейното и моето сърце са здраво свързани и ако нейното се раздвижи, дърпа и моето. Като две завързани с въже една за друга лодки. И не можеш да го прережеш, защото няма нож, който да ти свърши работа.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women: Stories)
“
I can't explain it very well, but at a certain point a lot of things didn't seem like that big of a deal anymore. Like the demon had left me all of a sudden," Kafuku said. "The rage vanished. Or maybe it was never rage in the first place.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
The most excruciating thing, though, had been maintaining a normal life knowing his partner’s secret—the effort it required to keep her in the dark. Smiling calmly when his heart was torn and his insides were bleeding. Behaving as if everything was fine while the two of them took care of the daily chores, chatted, made love at night. This was not something that a normal person could pull off. But Kafuku was a professional actor. Shedding his self, his flesh and blood, in order to inhabit a role was his calling. And he embraced this one with all his might. A role performed without an audience.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
It's strange, isn't it?" the woman said in a pensive voice. "Everything is blowing up around us , but there are still those who care about broken lock, and others who are dutiful enough to try to fix it... But maybe that's the way it should be. Maybe working on the little things as dutifully and hostels as we can is how we stay sane when the world is falling apart.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (سامسای عاشق)
“
Maybe weakness in his character, or trauma from his past. Or perhaps something in the present was causing his problem. Or maybe a combination of all those things. Whatever it was, he was trying like mad either to forget it or to numb the pain it caused, which made it necessary to drink.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
In this huge world there are some beautiful, happy families where parents and children maintain a close, warm relationship—a situation about as frequent as hat tricks in soccer. I have no confidence at all that I could be one of these rare happy parents, and can’t see Tokai doing it either.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
But still these days I've often wondered, Who in the world am I? And very seriously at that. If you took away my career as a plastic surgeon, & the happy environment I'm living in, & threw me out in the world, with no explanation, & with everything stripped away - what in the world would I be?
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
But the proposition that we can look into another person’s heart with perfect clarity strikes me as a fool’s game. I don’t care how well we think we should understand them, or how much we love them. All it can do is cause us pain. Examining your own heart, however, is another matter. I think it’s possible to see what’s in there if you work hard enough at it. So in the end maybe that’s the challenge: to look inside your own heart as perceptively and seriously as you can, and to make peace with what you find there. If we hope to truly see another person, we have to start by looking within ourselves.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
I spent the whole bullet-train ride mentally reviewing my eighteen years and realised that almost everything that had happened to me was pretty embarrassing. I’m not exaggerating. I didn’t want to remember any of it - it was so pathetic. The more I thought about my life up to then, the more I hated myself.
”
”
Haruki Murakami
“
Try as I might, I couldn’t remember. Life is strange, isn’t it? You can be totally entranced by the glow of something one minute, be willing to sacrifice everything to make it yours, but then a little time passes, or your perspective changes a bit, and all of a sudden you’re shocked at how faded it appears.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Kino was usually careful to keep his distance from any sort of entanglement. Among human emotions, nothing was worse than jealousy and pride, and Kino had had a number of awful experiences because of one or the other. It struck him at times that there was something about him that stirred up the dark side in other people.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
That’s what it’s like to lose a woman. And at a certain time, losing one woman means losing all women. That’s how we become Men Without Women. We lose Percy faith, Francis Lai, and 101 Strings. And ammonites and coelacanths. And we lose her beautiful back. But all of that has vanished. All that remains is an old broken piece of eraser, and the far-off sound of the sailor’s dirge. And the unicorn beside the fountain, his lonely horn aimed at the sky.
I hope that M is in heaven now – or somewhere like it. And it would be nice if her thoughts occasionally turn to me. But maybe that’s asking too much. I pray that, even if I’m not part of it, M is happy and at peace, with music playing on into eternity.
As one of the Men Without Women, I pray for this with all my heart. At this point prayer seems like the only thing I can do. Probably.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
That’s what it’s like to lose a woman. And at a certain time, losing one woman means losing all women. That’s how we become Men Without Women. We lose Percy faith, Francis Lai, and 101 Strings. And ammonites and coelacanths. And we lose her beautiful back. But all of that has vanished. All that remains is an old broken piece of eraser, and the far-off sound of the sailor’s dirge. And the unicorn beside the fountain, his lonely horn aimed at the sky.
I hope that M is in heaven now – or somewhere like it. And it would be nice if her thoughts occasionally turn to me. But maybe that’s asking too much. I pray that, even if I’m not part of it, M is happy and at peace, with music playing on into eternity.
As one of the Men Without Women, I pray for this with all my heart. At this point prayer seems like the only thing I can do. Probably.
- Men Without Women
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
If I never saw her again, it would be too soon for me.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Whether you want to or not. But the place you return to is always slightly different from the place you left. That’s the rule. It can never be exactly the same
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Yesterday
Is two days before tomorrow,
The day after two days ago.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Not being able to find the right words at crucial times is one of my many problems
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
When I soak in a bath for a long time, all kinds of good ideas suddenly come to me,” Kitaru said
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
It's strange, isn't it?" the woman said in a pensive voice. "Everything is blowing up around us, but there are still those who care about a broken lock, and others who are dutiful enough to try to fix it... But maybe that's the way it should be. Maybe working on the little things as dutifully and honestly as we can is how we stay sane when the world is falling apart.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
THERE ARE PEOPLE in the world who—thanks to a lack of intellectual acuity—live a life that is surprisingly artificial. I haven’t run across all that many, but there are certainly a few.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Tokai couldn’t bring himself to want children like that. His friends all insisted that, when all was said and done, having children was a wonderful thing, but he never could buy this sales pitch. They probably just wanted Tokai to shoulder the same burden they dragged around. They selfishly were convinced that everyone else in the world should be obliged to suffer the way they did.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Our actions aren’t based on specifics like that—we can’t pinpoint why we do what we do. Relationships between people, especially between men and women, operate on—what should I say—a more general level. More vague, more self-centered, more pathetic.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Cuộc đời thật kỳ lạ. Thứ ta từng nghĩ là lung linh, là tuyệt đối, từng nghĩ có thể từ bỏ tất cả để đạt được nó thì khi thời gian trôi qua, hay khi nhìn ở một góc khác, thứ đó bỗng trở nên nhạt nhẽo đến kinh ngạc. Tôi không hiểu hồi ấy mắt tôi đã nhìn thấy cái gì nữa.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
At the time I felt as if every night I, too, were gazing out of a porthole at the moon made of ice. A transparent, eight-inch-thick, frozen moon. But no one was beside me. I watched the moon alone, unable to share its cold beauty with anyone.
Yesterday
Is two days before tomorrow,
The day after two days ago.
I hope that in Denver (or some other faraway town) Kitaru is happy. If it's too much to ask that he's happy, I hope at least that today he has his health, and all his needs met. For no one knows what kind of dreams tomorrow will bring.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Yet on this day, that thought did not suffocate him. Instead, his reaction was, yes, such things do happen. They do happen. After all, it’s just a matter of flesh and blood. No more than a pile of bone and ash in the end, right? There has to be something more important than that
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
He had fallen deeply in love with her when they first met (he was twenty-nine), and this feeling had remained unchanged until the day she died (he had been forty-nine then). He hadn’t slept with another woman in all their years of marriage. The urge had never arisen, although he had received his fair share of opportunities
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
But the movement of time seemed not to be fixed properly. The bloody weight of desire and the rusty anchor of remorse were blocking its normal flow. Time was not an arrow flying in a straight line. The continuing rain, the confused hands of the clock, the birds still fast asleep, a faceless postal worker silently sorting through postcards, his wife's lovely breasts bouncing violently in the air, something obstinately tapping on the window. As if luring him deeper onto a suggestive maze, this ever-regular beat. Tap tap, tap, tap, then once more - tap tap. ''Don't look away, look right at it,'' someone whispered in his ear. ''This is what your heart looks like.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Having seen my love now / and said farewell / I know how very shallow my heart was of old / as if I had never before known love,’” Tokai intoned. “Gonchunagon Atsutada’s poem,” I said. I had no idea why I remembered this.
“In college,” he said, “they taught us that ‘seen’ meant a lover’s tryst, including a physical relationship. At the time it didn’t mean much, but now, at this age, I’ve finally experienced what the poet felt. The deep sense of loss after you’ve met the woman you love, have made love, then said goodbye. Like you’re suffocating. The same emotion hasn’t changed at all in a thousand years. I’ve never had this feeling up till now, and it makes me realize how incomplete I’ve been, as a person. I was a little late in noticing this, though.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
But there was no way I could find my former girlfriend's husband. I don't know his name, or the place where he lives. Perhaps he had already lost his name and place. He was, after all, the world's loneliest man. When I go on walks I like to sit in front of the statue of a unicorn, and as I gaze at the cold water in the fountain, I think about this man. And I imagine what it means to be the loneliest man on earth. I already know what it is to be the second loneliest man on earth. But I still don't know what it is to be the loneliest. A deep gulf separates the second and the first loneliest on earth. Most likely. Deep, and wide, too. The bottom is heaped high with the corpses of birds who have tried, and failed, to traverse it.
Suddenly one day you become Men Without Women.
”
”
Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
I’m not exaggerating. I didn’t want to remember any of it—it was so pathetic. The more I thought about my life up to then, the more I hated myself. It wasn’t that I didn’t have a few good memories—I did. A handful of happy experiences. But if you added them up, the shameful, painful memories far outnumbered the others. When I thought of how I’d been living, how I’d been approaching life, it was all so trite, so miserably pointless. Unimaginative middle-class rubbish, and I wanted to gather it all up and stuff it away in some drawer. Or else light it on fire and watch it go up in smoke (though what kind of smoke it would emit I had no idea). Anyway, I wanted to get rid of it all and start a new life in Tokyo with a clean slate as a brand-new person. Try out the new possibilities of a new me.
”
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Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Kafuku hadn’t understood why she felt the need to sleep with other men. And he still didn’t. Their relationship as a married couple and as life partners had been excellent from the beginning. When time permitted, they talked with passion and honesty about a wide variety of subjects, and tried to trust one another. He had thought they were a most compatible pair, both spiritually and sexually. Others in their circle also regarded them as an ideal match
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Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
But I'm talking about my dead wife and me. I don't want to jump to general principles so easily.''
''From what I can gather,'' Takatsuki said after a long silence, ''your wife was a wonderful woman. I am convinced of that even as I realize my knowledge of her is no more than a hundredth of yours. If nothing else, you should feel grateful for having been able to spend twenty years of your life with such a person. But the proposition that we can look into another person's heart with perfect clarity strikes me as a fool's game. I don't care how well we think we should understand them, or how much we love them. All it can do is cause us pain. Examining your own heart, however, is another matter. I think it's possible to see what's in there if you work hard enough at it. So in the end maybe that's the challenge: to look inside your own heart as perceptively and seriously as you can, and to make peace with what you find there. If we hope to truly see another person, we have to start by looking within ourselves.
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Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
It’s like, we graduate from college, get married, we’re this wonderful married couple everybody’s happy about, we have the typical two kids, put ’em in the good old Denenchofu elementary school, go out to the Tama River banks on Sundays, ‘Ob-la-di, ob-la-da’…I’m not saying that kinda life’s bad. But I wonder, y’know, if life should really be that easy, that comfortable. It might be better to go our separate ways for a while, and if we find out that we really can’t get along without each other, then we get back together.
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Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
Kafuku had reached the conclusion that most female drivers fell into one of two categories: either they were a little too aggressive or a little too timid. Luckily—and we should all be grateful for this—the latter were far more common. Generally speaking, women were more cautious than men behind the wheel. Of course, that caution was nothing to complain about. Yet their driving style tended to irritate others on the road.
Most of the aggressive women, on the other hand, seemed convinced they were great drivers. In most cases, they showed their timid sisters nothing but scorn, and were proud that they, at least, weren’t like that. They were oblivious to the gasps and slammed brakes that accompanied their sudden and daring lane changes, and to the less-than-complimentary words directed at them by their fellow drivers.
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Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)
“
But the movement of time seemed not to be fixed properly. The bloody weight of desire and the rusty anchor of remorse were blocking its normal flow. Time was not an arrow flying in a straight line. The continuing rain, the confused hands of the clock, the birds still fast asleep, a faceless postal worker silently sorting through postcards, his wife's lovely breasts bouncing violently in the air, something obstinately tapping on the window. As if luring him deeper onto a suggestive maze, this ever-regular beat. Tap tap, tap, tap, then once more - tap tap. ''Don't look away, look right at it,'' someone whispered in his ear. ''This is what your heart looks like.”
The willow branches swayed in the early summer breeze. In a small dark room, somewhere inside Kino, a warm hand was reaching out to him. Eyes shut, he felt that hand on his, soft and substantial. He’d forgotten this, had been apart from it for far too long. Yes, I am hurt. Very, very deeply. He said to himself. And he wept. In that dark, still room.
All the while the rain did not let up, drenching the world in a cold chill.
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Haruki Murakami (Men Without Women)