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The dramatic interplay was more in Lesterโs wheelhouse, particularly the scene where Billy Bob contemplates suicide. Wracked with guilt over disappointing his coach (and, in retrospect, possibly suffering from post-concussion syndrome), Billy Bob sits on the back of his pickup with his football trophies, a bottle of tequila, and a Mossberg 12-gauge pump shotgun when heโs confronted by Mox.
โChampionship trophy. Steelers. We were 9. Remember this shit? Playing Pee Wee?โ
โYeah,โ Mox says. โIt was fun.โ
โNo, it wasnโt. I remember being yelled at.โ Billy Bob throws the trophy. โToo fat, Billy Bob!โ Bang! โToo slow and dumb!โ He pulls the pump handle. Bang!
โIt was great,โ Robbins, the director, says. โI remember that night shooting that scene, and you donโt do that once, you do it over and over again from different angles. And he was just able to deliver that performance over and over again, and those were real tears and real emotion coming out of him.โ
Lester drew on pain from his personal life, thinking of his late father and his sister Linda, who died at 35. He also pulled from his own struggles with suicide. Inconsolable after Linda passed, he had put a loaded gun to his head and pulled the trigger. Nothing happened. โGod,โ he says, is the only explanation.
โI actually have the bullet, still. Itโs not a dud; itโs live. It just didnโt go off,โ Lester says. โI was kind of dreading [that scene] because I knew where Iโd go. But Iโm an actor and Iโm making a commitment to the character. To do that, you have to go 100 percent and just hope you pull yourself out of it.
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