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A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, and the best reply to unseemly behavior is patience and moderation.
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Molière
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To summarize, using money to motivate people can be a double-edged sword. For tasks that require cognitive ability, low to moderate performance-based incentives can help. But when the incentive level is very high, it can command too much attention and thereby distract the person’s mind with thoughts about the reward. This can create stress and ultimately reduce the level of performance.
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Dan Ariely (The Upside of Irrationality: The Unexpected Benefits of Defying Logic at Work and at Home)
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Emotions are the lowest form of consciousness. Emotional actions are the most contracted, narrowing, dangerous form of behavior.
The romantic poetry and fiction of the last 200 years has quite blinded us to the fact that emotions are an active and harmful form of stupor.
Any peasant can tell you that. Beware of emotions. Any child can tell you that. Watch out for the emotional person. He is a lurching lunatic.
Emotions are caused by biochemical secretions in the body to serve during the state of acute emergency. An emotional person is a blind, crazed maniac. Emotions are addictive and narcotic and stupefacient.
Do not trust anyone who comes on emotional.
What are the emotions? In a book entitled Interpersonal Diagnosis of Personality, written when I was a psychologist, I presented classifications of emotions and detailed descriptions of their moderate and extreme manifestations. Emotions are all based on fear. [...]
The emotional person cannot think; he cannot perform any effective game action (except in acts of physical aggression and strength). The emotional person is turned off sensually. His body is a churning robot. [...]
The only state in which we can learn, harmonize, grow, merge, join, understand is the absence of emotion. This is called bliss or ecstasy, attained through centering the emotions. [...]
Conscious love is not an emotion; it is serene merging with yourself, with other people, with other forms of energy. Love cannot exist in an emotional state. [...]
The great kick of the mystic experience, the exultant, ecstatic hit, is the sudden relief from emotional pressure.
Did you imagine that there could be emotions in heaven? Emotions are closely tied to ego games. Check your emotions at the door to paradise.
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Timothy Leary (The Politics of Ecstasy)
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Respect for others requires a complicated calculation in which one party agrees to moderate their own desires, to consider the longer-term consequences of their own behavior, to think about something other than the thing right in front of them.
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Malcolm Gladwell (Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know About the People We Don’t Know)
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HUMAN BILL OF RIGHTS [GUIDELINES FOR FAIRNESS AND INTIMACY] I have the right to be treated with respect. I have the right to say no. I have the right to make mistakes. I have the right to reject unsolicited advice or feedback. I have the right to negotiate for change. I have the right to change my mind or my plans. I have a right to change my circumstances or course of action. I have the right to have my own feelings, beliefs, opinions, preferences, etc. I have the right to protest sarcasm, destructive criticism, or unfair treatment. I have a right to feel angry and to express it non-abusively. I have a right to refuse to take responsibility for anyone else’s problems. I have a right to refuse to take responsibility for anyone’s bad behavior. I have a right to feel ambivalent and to occasionally be inconsistent. I have a right to play, waste time and not always be productive. I have a right to occasionally be childlike and immature. I have a right to complain about life’s unfairness and injustices. I have a right to occasionally be irrational in safe ways. I have a right to seek healthy and mutually supportive relationships. I have a right to ask friends for a modicum of help and emotional support. I have a right to complain and verbally ventilate in moderation. I have a right to grow, evolve and prosper.
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Pete Walker (Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving)
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The systems we will be exploring in order are:
● Breeding Targets: Arousal patterns tied to systems meant to get our ancestors to have sex with things that might bear offspring (e.g., arousal from things like penises, the female form, etc.).
● Inverse Systems: Arousal patterns that arise from a neural mix-up, causing something that disgusts the majority of the population to arouse a small portion of it (e.g., arousal from things like being farted on, dead bodies, having insects poured on one’s face, etc.).
● Emotional States and Concepts / Dominance and Submission: Arousal patterns that stem from either emotional concepts (such as betrayal, transformation, being eaten, etc.) or dominance and submission pathways.
● Emotional Connections to People: While emotional connections do not cause arousal in and of themselves, they do lower the threshold for arousal (i.e., you may become more aroused by a moderately attractive person you love than a very attractive stranger).
● Trope Attraction: Arousal patterns that are enhanced through a target’s adherence to a specific trope (a nurse, a goth person, a cheerleader, etc.).
● Novelty: Arousal patterns tied to the novelty of a particular stimulus.
● Pain and Asphyxiation: Arousal patterns associated with or enhanced by pain and oxygen deprivation.
● Basic Instincts: Remnants of our pre-cognitive mating instincts running off of a “deeper” autopilot-like neurological system (dry humping, etc.) that compel mating behavior without necessarily generating a traditional feeling of arousal.
● Physical Stimuli: Arousal patterns derived from physical interaction (kissing, touching an erogenous zone, etc.).
● Conditioned Responses: Arousal patterns resulting from conditioning (arousal from shoes, doorknobs, etc.).
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Simone Collins (The Pragmatist's Guide to Sexuality)
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...moderate your desire of producing perfection, temper your eagerness to produce faultless performance...and soften your manners towards those who are subordinate to you...
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Cecil Woodham-Smith
“
Of all the dangerous ideas that health officials could have embraced while trying to understand why we get fat, they would have been hard-pressed to find one ultimately more damaging than calories-in/calories-out. That it reinforces what appears to be so obvious - obesity as the penalty for gluttony and sloth - is what makes it so alluring. But it's misleading and misconceived on so many levels that it's hard to imagine how it survived unscathed and virtually unchallenged for the last fifty years.
It has done incalculable harm. Not only is this thinking at least partly responsible for the ever-growing numbers of obese and overweight in the world - while directing attention away from the real reasons we get fat - but it has served to reinforce the perception that those who get fat have no one to blame but themselves. That eating less invariably fails as a cure for obesity is rarely perceived as the single most important reason to make us question our assumptions, as Hilde Bruch suggested half a century ago. Rather, it is taken as still more evidence that the overweight and obese are incapable of following a diet and eating in moderation. And it put the blame for their physical condition squarely on their behavior, which couldn't be further from the truth.
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Gary Taubes (Why We Get Fat: And What to Do About It)
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The moderate narcissist offers enough good days to keep you invested and enough bad days that hurt you and leave you utterly confused. Moderate narcissistic people have cognitive empathy, so they sometimes seem to “get it.” They are entitled and seek validation and have a cocky, but not menacing, arrogance. They are hypocritical and believe that there is one set of rules for them and another for everyone else. They often feel that they are the victim in situations that do not go their way. They do not take responsibility for their behavior and will shift blame onto others for anything that makes them look bad. They are deeply selfish and will choose what works for them to the detriment of you or anyone else.
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Ramani Durvasula (It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People)
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Without this ability to stand outside your experience, without self-awareness, you would have little ability to moderate and direct your behavior moment to moment. Such real-time, goal-directed modulation of behavior is the key to acting as a mature adult. You need this capacity to free yourself from the automatic flow of experience, and to choose where to direct your attention. Without a director you are a mere automaton, driven by greed, fear, or habit.
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David Rock (Your Brain at Work: Strategies for Overcoming Distraction, Regaining Focus, and Working Smarter All Day Long)
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Know your own child’s behaviors and look deeper to find their meaning. Be the expert for your child. Discover the wonderful.
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Liz Becker (Autism and the World According to Matt: A collection of 50 inspirational short stories on raising a moderate / severe mostly non-verbal autistic child from diagnosis to independence)
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Moderate narcissists have just enough insight to know that their behavior is not okay—but not enough regulation, mindfulness, or empathy to stop themselves.
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Ramani Durvasula (It's Not You: Identifying and Healing from Narcissistic People)
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Economics is also an effective theory, based on the notion of free will plus the assumption that people evaluate their possible alternative courses of action and choose the best. That effective theory is only moderately successful in predicting behavior because, as we all know, decisions are often not rational or are based on a defective analysis of the consequences of the choice. This is why the world is in such a mess.
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Stephen Hawking
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The chief obstacle is that we are quick to be satisfied with ourselves. If we find someone to call us good men, cautious and principled, we acknowledge him. We are not content with a moderate eulogy, but accept as our due whatever flattery has shamelessly heaped upon us. We agree with those who call us best and wisest, although we know they often utter many falsehoods: we indulge ourselves so greatly that we want to be praised for a virtue which is the opposite of our behavior. A man hears himself called ‘most merciful’ while he is inflicting torture.. So it follows that we don’t want to change because we believe we are already excellent.
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Marcus Aurelius
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Respect has often been overenforced and almost universally misplaced (the poor must respect the rich, all women must respect all men, etc.). But when applied in moderation and with judgment, the social requirement of respectful behavior to others, by repressing aggression and requiring self-control, makes room for understanding. It creates a space where appreciation and affection can grow. Opinion all too often leaves no room for anything but itself.
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Ursula K. Le Guin (No Time to Spare: Thinking About What Matters)
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Functional, moderate guilt,” writes Kochanska, “may promote future altruism, personal responsibility, adaptive behavior in school, and harmonious, competent, and prosocial relationships with parents, teachers, and friends.” This is an especially important set of attributes at a time when a 2010 University of Michigan study shows that college students today are 40 percent less empathetic than they were thirty years ago, with much of the drop having occurred since 2000.
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Susan Cain (Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking)
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By contrast, moderate identity alteration differs from its milder countepart in that the alterations are not always under the person's control. In addition, moderate identity alteration does not always manifest the presence of distinct alter personalities. Someone who experiences moderate identity alteration may present with mood changes and behaviors that they perceive as uncontrollable. Patients with nondissociative psychiatric disorders (e.g., manic depressive illness) may report moderate alterations in behavior/demeanor that they cannot control; for example, one patient diagnosed as manic depressive mentioned being bothered by his inability to "keep his mind from racing" (SCID-D interview, unpublished transcript). However, these alterations do not coalesce around distinct personalities. Similarly, individuals who have borderline personality disorder tend to fluctuate rapidly between radically different behaviors and moods; however, these changes do not involve different names, memories, preferences, distinct ages, or amnesia for past events.
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Marlene Steinberg (Handbook for the Assessment of Dissociation: A Clinical Guide)
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Our internal boundaries define and contain the unique personal characteristics of our thoughts, feelings, opinions, behaviors, beliefs, and spirituality. Boundaries help us recognize, honor, and respect our individual wants, needs, and desires. They help us define our separateness and give us safety in our intimate communications with others. If someone verbally attacks us, we maintain our internal boundary and practice self-containment by moderately expressing our thoughts and feelings about their behavior using “I” statements. Or, we may choose not to respond and silently remind ourselves that how another person acts is about that person, not about us. If someone confronts us about our behavior, we use our internal boundary to listen to what they say. We do not internalize what is said before deciding if any of it rings true for us. If we have wronged the other person, we make amends. In either situation our self-worth is not diminished because we have maintained our internal boundaries. 110:2 We use internal boundaries in various ways. An example is deciding how much personal information, such as personal history or financial information, to share with others. Conversely, we refrain from delving into others’ personal business. We might really want to ask a question or say something to someone, yet we do not because we know that person’s private life is none of our business. 111:1 When we have healthy internal boundary systems, we recognize that each individual is responsible for his or her emotional, mental, and spiritual boundaries. We allow ourselves and others to have their own thoughts, feelings, opinions, behaviors, beliefs, and spirituality. With functional boundaries we are able to meet our needs without infringing on others’ abilities to meet their needs. Our internal boundaries can be flexible and we decide what is safe and comfortable for ourselves.
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CoDA (CO-DEPENDENTS ANONYMOUS)
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Functional, moderate guilt,” writes Kochanska, “may promote future altruism, personal responsibility, adaptive behavior in school, and harmonious, competent, and prosocial relationships with parents, teachers, and friends.” This is an especially important set of attributes at a time when a 2010 University of Michigan study shows that college students today are 40 percent less empathetic than they were thirty years ago, with much of the drop having occurred since 2000. (The study’s authors speculate that the decline in empathy is related to the prevalence of social media, reality TV, and “hyper-competitiveness.”)
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Susan Cain (Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking)
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Functional, moderate guilt,” writes Kochanska, “may promote future altruism, personal responsibility, adaptive behavior in school, and harmonious, competent, and prosocial relationships with parents, teachers, and friends.” This is an especially important set of attributes at a time when a 2010 University of Michigan study shows that college students today are 40 percent less empathetic than they were thirty years ago, with much of the drop having occurred since 2000. (The study’s authors speculate that the decline in empathy is related to the prevalence of social media, reality TV, and “hyper-competitiveness.”) Of
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Susan Cain (Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking)
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Sonnet of Consumerism
Ever wonder in a world of consumerism,
Who's the consumer, who's the product!
You may think that you are the one owning things,
But it's the things that own you, head and heart.
When unmoderated materialism is the world's norm,
Consumer is the product, product does the consuming.
And this insanity is revered as industrial growth,
Then they wonder, why is there so much suffering!
The point is, your insecurity is good for business,
The shallower you are, the more your pocket empties.
But if you don't wanna end up at la casa de loco,
Stop living in products and focus on memories.
Corporations chasing revenue cause economic disparity.
Buy less, buy local, to construct a sustainable economy.
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Abhijit Naskar (Giants in Jeans: 100 Sonnets of United Earth)
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As we mature, our brain develops the ability to mix things together, to hold different perceptions, senses, thoughts, feelings, and impulses all at the same time without becoming confused in thinking or paralyzed in action. This is the capacity I called “integrative functioning”. Reaching this point in development has a tremendous transforming and civilizing effect on personality and behavior. The attributes of childishness, like impulsiveness and ego-centrism, fade away and a much more balanced personality begins to emerge. One cannot teach the brain to do this; the integrative capacity must be developed, grown into. The ancient Romans had a word for this kind of mix: temper. That verb now means “to regulate” or “to moderate,” but originally referred to the mingling of different ingredients to make clay.
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Gabor Maté (Hold On to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers)
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As we mature, our brain develops the ability to mix things together, to hold different perceptions, senses, thoughts, feelings, and impulses all at the same
time without becoming confused in thinking or paralyzed in action. This is the capacity I called “integrative functioning” when, just above, I mentioned the preschooler syndrome. Reaching this point in development has a tremendous transforming and civilizing effect on personality and behavior. The attributes of childishness, like impulsiveness and egocentrism, fade away and a much more balanced personality begins to emerge. One cannot teach the brain to do this; the integrative capacity must be developed, grown into. The ancient Romans had a
word for this kind of mix: temper. That verb now means “to regulate” or “to moderate,” but originally referred to the mingling of different ingredients to
make clay. (...) Being untempered—unable to tolerate mixed feelings at the same time—is the hallmark of the immature.
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Gordon Neufeld
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Although there are no set methods to test for psychiatric disorders like psychopathy, we can determine some facets of a patient’s mental state by studying his brain with imaging techniques like PET (positron emission tomography) and fMRI (functional magnetic resonance imaging) scanning, as well as genetics, behavioral and psychometric testing, and other pieces of information gathered from a full medical and psychiatric workup. Taken together, these tests can reveal symptoms that might indicate a psychiatric disorder. Since psychiatric disorders are often characterized by more than one symptom, a patient will be diagnosed based on the number and severity of various symptoms. For most disorders, a diagnosis is also classified on a sliding scale—more often called a spectrum—that indicates whether the patient’s case is mild, moderate, or severe. The most common spectrum associated with such disorders is the autism spectrum. At the low end are delayed language learning and narrow interests, and at the high end are strongly repetitive behaviors and an inability to communicate.
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James Fallon (The Psychopath Inside: A Neuroscientist's Personal Journey into the Dark Side of the Brain)
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Muslims in the West regularly refer to Islam as the “religion of peace.” Yet of the roughly 400 recognized terrorist groups in the world, over 90 percent are Islamist groups. Over 90 percent of the current world-fighting involves Islamist terror movements.120 The endless goal of moderate Muslim apologists is to make the claim that the radical terrorist groups are not behaving in an Islamic way. While many nominal and liberal Muslims have a strong disdain for the murderous behavior of many of the most violent groups, the terrorists are actually carrying out a very legitimate aspect of Islam as defined by Islam’s sacred texts, scholars, and representatives. They are indeed behaving in an Islamic way. They are behaving like Mohammed and his successors. While it is often said that the terrorists have high-jacked Islam, in reality it is the so-called moderate Muslims who are trying to change the true teachings of Islam. Many in the West today are calling for a “reformation” within Islam. The problem is that this reformation has already happened and the most radical forms of Islam that we are seeing today are the result—violent Islam is true Islam. Yet few have the courage to declare the obvious. The Bible warns us that in the Last-Days, the Antichrist would be given power, “over all peoples, and tongues, and nations.” (Revelation 13:7) Today throughout the world, Islam is pushing for precisely that. In the days to come, it appears as if, although for a very short time, the Muslim Antichrist will come very close to accomplishing this goal.
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Walid Shoebat (God's War on Terror: Islam, Prophecy and the Bible)
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Healthy shame is what gives us the ability to understand the impact of our actions on other people, and to moderate our behavior accordingly. Can you imagine a world where no one was able to admit their mistakes and say “I’m sorry?
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Jessica Moore
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Throughout history there have been populations that have lived in desperation, and none of them have resorted to the intentional targeting and murder of children as an officially practiced and widely praised mode of achieving political ends. When extremist elements of otherwise legitimate liberation movements such as the Republican Sinn Fein have committed such atrocities, their actions have been unconditionally condemned by the civilized world, and their political objectives have been discredited by their vile crimes. This is not so with the Palestinians. Once upon a time there was a special place in the lowest depths of hell for anyone who would intentionally murder a child. Now that place is in the pantheon of Palestinian heroes. Now that behavior is legitimized as ‘armed struggle’ against Israeli ‘occupation’ by, among others, the United Nations General Assembly, the UN Human Rights Commission, and the European Union. Since the Iranian Revolution of 1979 and the rise of Hamas in 1987, the campaign to destroy Israel has taken on an ugly, fanatic religious tone. Holy obligation reinforces (and is replacing) Palestinian nationalism as the motivation for committing terrorist murder. As we have seen the secular, ‘moderate’ factions of the Palestinian nationalist movement (such as Abbas’s Fatah Party) will shrink into insignificance, and is replaced by terrorist Islamic factions such as Hamas and Islamic Jihad. Hamas receives financial and material support from the same sources as al Qaeda, and from al Qaeda directly. Islamic Jihad receives financial and material support from Iran, directly and through Hezbollah. These are the same international criminal entities that wage religion-based terror war against the United States. They do it for the same reason and by the same means: to make Islam supreme in the world, by the sword or the suicide bomb.
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Brigitte Gabriel (Because They Hate)
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What about the claim, by the PACE trial, that Graded Exercise Therapy and CBT can treat ME? This is a trial where you could enter moderately ill, get worse in the trial, and be declared ‘recovered’ at the end. Even the recent follow-up study conceded that, long-term, Graded Exercise and CBT are no better for ME than doing nothing. Investigative journalists and academics alike have dismissed the PACE trial as ‘clinical trial amateurism’.
Like MS or epilepsy, which were also once wrongly believed to be psychiatric disorders, ME is a neurological disease, and the World Health Organisation lists it as such. I am too weak to walk more than a few metres, needing to lie in bed 21 hours a day. With the little energy I have, I am an ME patient activist.
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Tanya Marlow
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It is certain that there are genuinely moderate Muslims, perhaps a substantial number, who do not seek to impose Islam on this country and the world through violent jihad. However, they are conspicuous by their silence regarding the more problematic doctrines of Islam. To the extent that Muslim ‘leaders’ and lobbying organizations in the United States even address the issue, they offer nothing more than vague, tepid condemnations of terrorist violence and heated denials that the behavior of Islamic terrorists has any connection with Islam. Where is the Muslim outrage in this country over the supposed few who hijacked their religion? Where is the Million Muslim March on the Mall in Washington, D.C., sending a message to all Muslims in the Arabic world condemning the killing of human beings in the name of Allah? Where is the cry to raise the consciousness of the rest of the Muslim world about their hijacked religion?
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Brigitte Gabriel (Because They Hate: A Survivor of Islamic Terror Warns America)
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A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him, she said immediately, and the best reply to unseemly behavior is patience and moderation.
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Eva Leigh (How the Wallflower was Won (Last Chance Scoundrels, #2))
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The Golden Mean Doctrine, which states that virtuous behavior requires one to walk the middle ground between asceticism and indulgence. To take the path of moderation between excess and deprivation. To avoid being an extremist in any dimension of one’s life. Here’s a maxim that’s worth remembering: Restriction promotes addiction.
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Robin Sharma (The Titan Playbook: Aim for Iconic, Rise to Legendary, Make History)
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Instead of looking at a schedule as blocks of time to fill, behavioral scientist Sendhil Mullainathan suggests we look at our schedule like artwork on a wall. Start with the largest pieces, the tasks that require the majority of your mental or physical energy for the day, and then arrange smaller, easier tasks around them. Then fill the rest of the spaces with moderately taxing responsibilities.
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Jen Smith (Pay Off Your Debt for Good: 21 Days to Change Your Relationship With Money & Improve Your Spending Habits So You Can Get Out of Debt Fast)
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There is no greater contentment than the feeling of victory over your own savagery.
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Abhijit Naskar (Karadeniz Chronicle: The Novel)
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Optimal stress is the balanced, moderate amount of stress that appears to be necessary to grow the new neurons and neuronal connections that correlate with keeping the brain healthy. Research shows that just as too much stress creates a biochemical condition that damages neurons in the brain, too little stress leads to the atrophy, death and lack of replacement of old neurons. This is why lifelong learning is widely recognized as one of the key practices necessary to avoid Alzheimer’s disease. In my opinion, lifelong recovering is an exalted subset of lifelong learning. I believe that optimal stress is frequently attained when we practice the behaviors that remedy our developmental arrests. Examples of this include reading self-help books, attending self-improvement workshops, working at deeper self-discovery through journaling, or struggling to be more vulnerable and authentic in a therapy session or an evolving relationship. Moreover, it might be that minor flashbacks sometimes function as optimal stress. I certainly know a number of long term recoverees who seem to be evolving and becoming sharper in their old age.
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Pete Walker (Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving)
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Stress that is predictable, moderate, and controlled leads to resilience.
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Mona Delahooke (Brain-Body Parenting: How to Stop Managing Behavior and Start Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids)
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Upright, nonviolent, chaste, abstinent, and poor-such was the Manichaean monk who practiced the five commandments laid down by Mani to express his ideal of evangelical blessedness and purpose. (…) Manichaean ethics, regarded as diabolical and insane in the West, had the effect among the peoples of Upper Asia of helping to moderate bloodthirsty behavior: "Countries with barbaric customs where blood used to stream," al-Biruni noted (in Pelliot's translation), "were transformed into a land where one ate vegetables; states where one used to kill were transformed into a kingdom where one exhorted others to do good". These lines (…) suggest the civilizing impact of such an ethics in Turco-Mongolian lands in the second half of the eighth century.
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Michel Tardieu (Manichaeism)
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A wise man is superior to any insults which can be put upon him"she said immediately"and the best reply to unseemly behavior is patience and moderation.
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Eva Leigh (How the Wallflower was Won (Last Chance Scoundrels, #2))
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It’s as if there’s some larger behavior pattern at play…almost like a scarcity loop. I even started calling this pattern I noticed a “scarcity loop.” And it seemed to be the serial killer of moderation.
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Michael Easter (Scarcity Brain: Fix Your Craving Mindset and Rewire Your Habits to Thrive with Enough)
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the hidden race bias revealed by the Race IAT is unwelcome news to many who receive an automatic White preference result from the test, and it is probably also distressing to these same people to learn now that the Race IAT is a moderate predictor of racially discriminatory behavior. Included
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Mahzarin R. Banaji (Blindspot: Hidden Biases of Good People)
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nutritional supplement worth considering is 5-HTP (5-hydroxytryptophan). It has been shown to be highly effective in moderating many behavior problems, including aggression, with far fewer or less problematic side effects than the heavy-duty prescription medications. It is surprising that veterinarians are not more familiar with this supplement, and that they do not take greater advantage of it, given its effectiveness, its relatively low cost and that it works as soon as it is taken (unlike many medications, which can take weeks to build up an effect). It should not be used in conjunction with medications that affect serotonin activity. The correct dosage is determined experimentally. If the dose is slightly high, the dog may be initially nauseous. If the dose is too low, no effects will be achieved. The dose used at Tufts University School of Veterinary Medicine for addressing aggression is 2 mg/kg, administered orally every 12 hours. If 5-HTP is used, you should watch for signs of serotonin syndrome (caused by an excess of serotonin activity in the brain). These include confusion/disorientation, agitation/irritability, low responsiveness/coma, anxiety, hypomania (elevated mood and increased activity), lethargy and seizures (Sorenson, 2002). You should also be on the lookout for these signs with the use of medications that influence serotonin activity.
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James O'Heare (The Dog Aggression Workbook)
“
Attitude creates actions create results create destiny. Dan Buettner, author of Blue Zones: Lessons for Living Longer From the People Who’ve Lived the Longest, has traveled the world studying the everyday living habits of people who are healthiest and live the longest of anyone on the planet. Of all the factors possibly influencing health, vitality, and longevity, Buettner and his team compiled a list of nine. These people (1) live an active life, (2) cultivate purpose and a reason to wake up every morning, (3) take time to de-stress (appreciation, prayer, etc.), (4) stop eating when they are 80 percent full, (5) eat a diet emphasizing vegetables, especially beans, (6) have moderate alcohol intake (especially dark red wine), (7) play an active role in a faith-based community, (8) place a strong emphasis on family, and (9) are part of like-minded social circles with similar habits. As Buettner points out, physiological factors like exercise and diet play a role—but not as big a role as you’d expect. A big part of it is factors that have to do with attitude, habits of behavior, and who they associate with. And while we’re talking about positivity, let me clear up a common misconception about positive outlook, right here and now. Cultivating positive outlook does not mean you are always happy. It does not mean life never gets you down. It does not mean you walk around with an idiotic grin on your face even when you’re hurting, and it doesn’t mean living in denial, ignoring the realities of pain and struggle, or checking your brain at the door. People who cultivate a genuinely positive outlook go through tough times, too; when we’re cut, we bleed red blood just like everyone else.
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Jeff Olson (The Slight Edge: Turning Simple Disciplines into Massive Success and Happiness)
“
We are all driven to select a mate. Those of us who don’t do not pass our genes on to the future. A human female is apparently driven to select a mate that will provide for her and her offspring. If nothing else, such behavior or motivation would be consistent with the tenets of sexual selection. A human male selects a mate that is, by his reckoning, well suited to carrying his genes forward. The female has to make her genes appear valuable by “playing hard to get,” as the old saying was and is so often said. But really … all things in moderation. Look around. So much of what goes on in our society is motivated by the process of sexual selection, and there are many subtle and not-so-subtle things that affect that process: There’s mascara. Expensive watches. Amazing shoes. Sports cars, perfume, skirts, ties, jeans, boots, and on and on. Now, compare us to everybody else. By everybody else I mean dogs and cats and lions and tigers and bears … and squids and whales. All the other animals around, and all the plants, have seasons to their mating. We humans don’t seem to. When it comes to our babies, birthdays are pretty well distributed around the calendar.
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Bill Nye (Undeniable: Evolution and the Science of Creation)
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Spanking and Shouting Are Counterproductive The principles outlined in this book represent what we as parents should do when we’re confronted with our children’s misbehavior. What we often do, however, is shout at or spank our children, especially if we’re tired or distracted or frustrated by their failure to obey us. Shouting and spanking are quite natural responses to misbehavior—especially continued misbehavior—but they’re also quite counterproductive. They never teach appropriate behavior, which is the number one task of parenting. In fact, they teach just the opposite: • How to shout • How to hit • How to be sneaky • How to fear • How to be ashamed • How to take anger out on others All degrees of shouting and spanking—light, moderate, occasional, rarely, always—give children the wrong kind of attention. If it’s the only kind they’re given, they may misbehave just to get noticed. Also, parents don’t always know if spanking works because they don’t actually observe its effect on a child’s behavior over time. Spanking as punishment simply drives bad behavior underground: It stops the behavior from happening in front of parents, but it doesn’t stop it altogether. In fact, children become experts at not getting caught. Parents may even say, “Don’t let me catch you doing that again!
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Jerry L. Wyckoff (Discipline Without Shouting or Spanking—Free Chapters: Aggressive Behavior, Behaving Shyly, Fighting Cleanup Routines, Getting Out of Bed at Night, "Hyper" Activity, Lying)
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Renowned psychologist David McClelland of Harvard wrote about three basic motivators in people’s work: need for achievement, need for affiliation, and need for power. Most successful business professionals’ scores on these three motivations form something of a checkmark. They tend to be moderately highly motivated by a need for achievement, not much motivated by need for affiliation, and highly motivated by a need for power. The meritocrat, by contrast, is very highly oriented toward achievement, moderately highly motivated by need for affiliation, and almost negatively motivated by need for power. That
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James Waldroop (The 12 Bad Habits That Hold Good People Back: Overcoming the Behavior Patterns That Keep You From Getting Ahead)
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The hideous revelations elicited a different reaction from the Most Moral President in the World, the usual one: great sympathy for Israelis, bitter condemnation of Hamas, and calls for moderation on both sides. In his August press conference, President Obama did express concern for Palestinians “caught in the crossfire” (where?) while again vigorously supporting the right of Israel to defend itself, like everyone. Not quite everyone—not, of course, Palestinians. They have no right to defend themselves, surely not when Israel is on good behavior, keeping to the norm of quiet for quiet: stealing their land, driving them out of their homes, subjecting them to a savage siege, and regularly attacking them with weapons provided by their protector.
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Noam Chomsky (Who Rules the World? (American Empire Project))
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The needs of a wife are nothing like that. A close human bond demands a tolerance, an ability to adjust, to moderate one’s own actions and to accept criticism, even unreasonable behavior at times, to listen to all kinds of chatter and hear the real message behind the words. Above all, it needs the sharing of self, the dreams and the fears, the laughter and the pain. It means taking down the defenses, knowing that sooner or later you will be hurt. It means tempering ideals and acknowledging the vulnerable and flawed reality of human beings.
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Anne Perry (Funeral in Blue (William Monk, #12))
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ACSM recommends to engage in… • moderate-intensity cardiorespiratory exercise training for 30 minutes or more per day on 5 or more days per week, or • vigorous-intensity cardiorespiratory exercise training for 20 minutes or more per day on 3 or more days per week, or • a combination of moderate- and vigorous-intensity exercise to accumulate a total energy expenditure of 500–1000 or more MET minutes per week; and additionally • resistance exercises for each of the major muscle groups a minimum of 2 days per week and • neuromotor exercise (functional fitness training) involving balance, agility, and coordination for each of the major muscle-tendon groups (a total of 60 seconds per exercise) a minimum of 2 days per week.
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American College of Sports Medicine (ACSM's Behavioral Aspects of Physical Activity and Exercise)
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By today’s standards, David O. McKay’s views on civil rights are jolting; yet in the context of his own time and place, his views were mainstream. He definitely was not “progressive” on the issue, even if measured by the low standards that would have earned such a label during his lifetime. On the one hand, he never advocated legislation or behavior that would worsen the status of blacks within the United States; indeed, his apparent desire was to preserve the legal status quo. Yet he also never advocated legal remedies to segregation and discrimination. He was, at best, a very conservative moderate. He
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Gregory A. Prince (David O. McKay and the Rise of Modern Mormonism)
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When we do not sleep enough or when we are tired or exhausted, for example after a day of work in an open office, it is our reflecting brain that is tired and it is our cognitive resources that are depleted. This is even visible in brain scans where we can see that the part of the brain that moderates the emotional brain is too sleepy to do its job. [321] This not only has a negative impact on the quality of our thinking, but since our reflecting brain then has difficulties regulating our emotional reflex brain our emotions become more primitive and exaggerated, we become over-reactive, over-emotional towards negative stimuli and are much less able to see negative things in their proper context. It also leads to a decrease in emotional intelligence in general and less socially intelligent behavior, due to a lessening of our intrapersonal awareness, interpersonal skills, emotion management, empathy and moral judgment. [322] A well-researched aspect is that with a lack of sleep we have greater difficulties appraising emotional facial expressions, [323] which of course reduces our ability to react in an emotionally and socially intelligent way.
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Theo Compernolle (BrainChains: Discover your brain, to unleash its full potential in a hyperconnected, multitasking world (Science About the Brain and Stress Explained in Simple Terms))
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EDUCATIONAL DECREE NUMBER 87: MISCHIEF MUST ALWAYS BE MANAGED Use moderation when playing tricks on others. Too much Draco-like behavior can get you punched.
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Kerin Morataya (Diary of a Harry Potter Addict)
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WHAT CAN ADD ON MORE GOOD YEARS? Robert Kane: Rather than exercising for the sake of exercising, try to make changes to your lifestyle. Ride a bicycle instead of driving. Walk to the store instead of driving. Use the stairs instead of the elevator. Build that into your lifestyle. The chances are that you will sustain that behavior for a much longer time. And the name of the game here is sustaining. These things that we try—usually after some cataclysmic event has occurred, and we now want to ward off what seems to be the more perceptible threat of dying—don’t hold up over the long haul. We find all sorts of reasons not to do it. The second thing I’d tell you is don’t take up smoking. The biggest threat to improving our lifestyles has been cigarette smoking. That trumps everything else. Once you’re a nonsmoker, I would try to get you to learn to develop a moderate lifestyle in regard to your weight to build into your daily routine enough exercise to keep you going.
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Dan Buettner (The Blue Zones: 9 Lessons for Living Longer From the People Who've Lived the Longest)
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the behavior that arises from it, is the science of psychology. Economics is also an effective theory, based on the notion of free will plus the assumption that people evaluate their possible alternative courses of action and choose the best. That effective theory is only moderately successful in predicting behavior because, as we all know, decisions are often not rational or are based on a defective analysis of the consequences of the choice. That is why the world is in such a mess. The third question addresses the issue of whether the laws that
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Anonymous
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Much like all other paraphilias, fetishes can be situated on the mild-to-severe continuum. An example of this range is depicted in the following scenario of four men, all having a fetish for women with long hair. The first man might have a mild fetish for women with long hair simply because he has always perceived the longer length to be more sexually appealing. The second man, functioning in the mild-to-moderate range, might whistle at and call out to an otherwise unattractive female with long hair yet remain silent when an extremely attractive woman with short hair walks past him. The third man, operating in the moderate-to-severe end of the continuum, might be unable to achieve an erection during intercourse unless he wears a long-haired wig or his partner has long hair. The fourth man might be able to attain an orgasm simply by looking at or touching the desired object. This behavior demonstrates that the individual functions at the severe pathological end of the paraphilic spectrum. The absence of deploying such fetishes in the extremely paraphilic-prone individual can cause erectile dysfunction (APA, 2000).
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Catherine Purcell (The Psychology of Lust Murder: Paraphilia, Sexual Killing, and Serial Homicide)
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Medical Warning: Talk to your doctor before beginning a John Locke series, as studies have shown them to be habit-forming and highly addictive. Do not read Locke if you suffer from high blood pressure or other heart-related issues, as readers often experience mood swings, increased pulses, elevated heart rates, and have reported unexpected shifts in body position that take them to the edge of their seats. Do not drive or use machinery while reading Locke novels. Locke novels are not for everyone, and may cause serious reactions including insomnia, night terrors, and uncontrollable, maniacal laughter. Tell your doctor right away if you have these, or if you experience unusual changes in your behavior including increased sexual urges, palpitations, or prolonged erections. Common side effects include confusion, hysteria, and trouble swallowing a given premise. Do not drink alcohol while reading Locke novels, though those with a history of drug or alcohol abuse may be more prone to understanding the material. Adverse reactions to Locke novels include nausea and vomiting, loss of appetite, severe itching, rectal bleeding, purple spots under the skin, and Jimmy Legs. In extreme cases, readers have reported laughing so hard they not only shit their pants, but other’s pants, as well. Upon completing a Locke series be prepared to experience symptoms of withdrawal, including fear, anger, extreme sadness, and moderate to severe depression. Ask your doctor today if John Locke novels are right for you!
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John Locke (The President's Daughter (Donovan Creed))
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The medication naltrexone is used to treat alcohol and opioid addiction, and is being used for a variety of other addictions as well, from gambling to overeating to shopping. Naltrexone blocks the opioid receptor, which in turn diminishes the reinforcing effects of different types of rewarding behavior. I’ve had patients report a near or complete cessation of alcohol craving with naltrexone. For patients who have struggled for decades with this problem, the ability to not drink at all, or to drink in moderation like “normal people,” comes as a revelation.
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Anna Lembke (Dopamine Nation: Finding Balance in the Age of Indulgence)
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In the absence of moderation, our desire is allowed to flourish. This leads to indulgent behavior, extending the limits of our desire beyond what is beneficial.
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Thinknetic (30 Rules To Live By: How Small Timeless Habits Completely Change Your View On Wealth, Desire And Everyday Vices To Reach Long-Lasting Happiness (Stoicism Mastery))
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Parents, as surprising as it seems, and as the best evidence on the topic suggests, have only small effects on: Life expectancy Overall health Education Religiosity Adult income They do have moderate effects on: Religious affiliation Drug and alcohol use and sexual behavior, particularly during the teens How kids feel about their parents
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Seth Stephens-Davidowitz (Don't Trust Your Gut: Using Data to Get What You Really Want in Life)
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Famously, he developed a careful strategy for cultivating a set of virtues that he thought would lead to a productive and fulfilling life. With the goal of turning righteous behavior into a habit, Franklin created a system of charts to track his daily success or failure in exhibiting thirteen different virtues: temperance, silence, order, resolution, frugality, industry, sincerity, justice, moderation, cleanliness, tranquility, chastity, and humility.
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Katy Milkman (How to Change: The Science of Getting from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be)
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her takes a good deal of clinical experience. More importantly, the therapist needs to have worked deeply with her own early life experiences, and has to actively work with it throughout the life span. A successful therapeutic relation precipitates emotional growth not only in the patient but also in the therapist. Sieff refered to the fact that short-term cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is currently very popular and widely used. Can it help with healing relational trauma? Schore answered that CBT is grounded in cognitive psychology, and its research base is grounded cognitive processes such as explicit memory, rational thought, language, and effortful conscious control. Cognitively based therapy’s basic theoretical assumption is grounded in the assumption that we can change how we feel by consciously changing how we think and what we believe. This means that cognitive therapy focuses on language and thought, both of which are located in the left brain. People who have trouble regulating their emotions typically have a left brain that is already more developed than their right brain, and they may well have learned to use rational thinking and words to obscure the deeper emotional experiences and to keep them dissociated. Cognitive therapy may strengthen the very strategies that keep the affect dampening defense of dissociation in place. Even if the left brain becomes more able to control the emotions of the right brain, it can only control emotional arousal that is of low or moderate intensity. As a rule, when emotional arousal reaches a certain level of intensity the left brain goes off-line and the right brain becomes dominant. Changes made in the cognitive strategies of the left brain are unavailable when this happens. At these times, emotionally-focused therapy may enhance the neural connections between the right amygdala and the right orbifrontal cortex which allows the patient to more effectively tolerate and regulate intense emotions. Cognitive therapy which exclusively focuses on the ability of the left brain to control the right cannot directly alter changes within the right-lateralized limbic system. The
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Eva Rass (The Allan Schore Reader: Setting the course of development)
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Punishments must be moderately severe, because mild punishments just aren’t going to stop any behavior that’s very much fun, and very severe punishments will probably distract the child from focusing on the misbehavior to focusing just on the punishment
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Dean Richards (Psychology in Plain English)
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The third component of yama is nonstealing (asteya). Once again, this is to be understood in a very comprehensive sense. As a form of dispassion it is the abstention—in deed, word, and thought—from grasping after another’s property. Even merely coveting our neighbor’s strawberries, let alone his wife or her husband (who is of course not property), constitutes an infringement of this moral commandment. This virtue is connected on the one hand with nongrasping (aparigraha) and on the other hand with contentment (samtosha), which will be discussed below. Where does faith come into play in this case? The Yoga practitioner’s faith is placed in the Self as the inexhaustible Fullness (pūrnatva) that, once it has been realized, leaves nothing to be desired. Our external grasping after, or seizing of, things (and also relationships) is an expression of the ego’s strategy to overcome its basic fearfulness created by its self-isolation (or separation from the Self). But in this endeavor to extend its radius, the ego necessarily encroaches on the life-space of others, and this violates the first law of nonharming. Through surrender to the Self as the absolutely self-sufficient Reality, the ego’s harmful activity is gradually neutralized. The yogins or yoginīs who live this ideal are no longer at war with the world or themselves. The next element of yama is chastity (brahmacarya). The literal meaning of this old Sanskrit word is “brahmic conduct,” that is, the “behavior of a brahmin” or “mode of the Absolute.” Here the principle of reversal, spoken of above as the very essence of the yogic process, is most clearly expressed. To behave like the Absolute means to model one’s life on the ideal condition of the genderless Absolute. This is the underlying idea of chastity. Our ordinary experience of the world is always framed in terms of male and female (and occasionally neuter). “Chastity” is, first of all, the attempt to break away from this binary compartmentalization of life. True continence begins in the mind. Spiritual practitioners who have mastered this virtue regard all people as the same (sama), irrespective of their sex. On the physical level, chastity involves the abstinence from sexual activity. Some schools make this an unqualified condition, whereas others hold a more lenient view. The latter apply the principle of moderation to this aspect of one’s personal life, but also have rather definite notions about what is to be considered as legitimate sex. Sexual exploitation between men and women, which is often what today’s sexual revolution is about, is in yogic terms not only a waste of precious vital energy (ojas), but also a kind of violence, theft, and deception. Certain that the eternal Self not only transcends all bodily distinctions but also is inherently blissful (ānanda), Yoga practitioners are able to surrender their desire for the transient pleasure afforded through sexual activity.3
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Georg Feuerstein (The Deeper Dimension of Yoga: Theory and Practice)
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Without doubt, the Israeli settlements in the West Bank have increased Palestinian militancy and motivation to fight Zionism and add a further layer of obstruction to any possibility of partitioning the land into two viable states—though the example and precedent of Israel’s uprooting of all its settlements from the Gaza Strip in 2005 indicates that the majority of West Bank settlements, too, could be removed should the Israeli government and public come to believe that such a course would assure Israel peace and future prosperity. But given Palestinian behavior and discourse—and this must include the observation that the Israeli pullout from the Gaza Strip did nothing to moderate Palestinian behavior and attitudes toward Israel; rather the opposite—there is little chance that Israelis will come to feel and believe this in the foreseeable future.
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Benny Morris (One State, Two States: Resolving the Israel/Palestine Conflict)
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Choose your words carefully,
Moderate your beliefs consciously.
Observe your ignorance cautiously,
Humanize your behavior conscientiously.
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Abhijit Naskar (Aşk Mafia: Armor of The World)
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In alcohol addiction, the top down control gets flipped and the survival animal instinct overrides the rational thinking brain. It does this due to two different causes. First the prefrontal cortex loses its strength and volume. It's like a muscle and the chemical component of alcohol is a neurotoxin, as in it attacks gray matter, or the regions of the brain involved in sensory perception, memory, emotions, speech, decision making, and self-control. Along with the consistent deferral to the survival instincts, it weakens its function so the part of our brain that is responsible for inhibiting actions or willpower, making decisions, moderating social behavior, constructing our personality, upholding our ethics, and planning our future, goes offline. At the same time, the midbrain, which thinks only about the next 15 seconds, not tomorrow, or next year, becomes more powerful. It believes alcohol is necessary for survival, again more than food, more than sex, and it's on a mission to get it.
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Holly Whitaker (Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol)
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Steps to changing your subjugation lifetrap
11. When you find a partner who cares about your needs, asks your opinions and values them, and who is strong enough to do 50 percent of the work, give the relationship a chance.
If you find yourself in a good relationship with a partner who believes in equality, give the relationship a chance to work. Do this even though it feels strange to you. Subjugated people frequently give up too soon on good relationships, claiming they just are not interested, the relationship does not feel right, something is missing, or there is not enough chemistry. As long as you feel some chemistry – even a moderate amount – give the relationship a chance. As you become more accustomed to your new role, the chemistry might increase.
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Jeffrey Young (Reinventing Your Life: The Breakthrough Program to End Negative Behavior...and Feel Great Again)
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Dependence” itself is pathologized, when, as we’ve seen, dependence isn’t the real problem in addiction: compulsive and destructive behavior is. (And indeed, the DSM-5, published in 2013, recognizes this, replacing “dependence” with “moderate to severe substance use disorder.”)
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Maia Szalavitz (Unbroken Brain: A Revolutionary New Way of Understanding Addiction)
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In fact, studies show that the people with the most accurate self-perceptions tend to be moderately depressed, suffer from low self-esteem, or both. An overly positive self-evaluation, on the other hand, is considered normal and healthy.
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Leonard Mlodinow (Subliminal: How Your Unconscious Mind Rules Your Behavior)
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Being excessively harsh and violent, even during adversities, will result in a person being perceived as oppressive and having a hurtful behavior towards others. During the dominance of ara-mitama aspect, you may see others from an egotistical perspective and being aware of this will help you moderate yourself in a better way.
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Vincent Miller (Shinto - The Way of the Gods: Introduction to the Traditional Religion of Japan)
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invalidating environments often ignore children’s appropriate requests for attention and only notice a child’s needs when the child is desperate and demands attention (Linehan 1993). When families or institutions ignore moderate requests for attention, some children will then suffer in silence for a long time before they make demands. Others resort to extreme, demanding behavior right away, since it obviously works.
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Cedar R. Koons (The Mindfulness Solution for Intense Emotions: Take Control of Borderline Personality Disorder with DBT)
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Humans have what is called a triune brain, or a three-part brain. The midbrain or reptilian brain is the oldest part of our brain, where our survival instinct lives; the limbic or mammalian brain is where our emotions live; and finally the neocortex is our thinking brain. Adult humans with a fully developed neocortex are typically operating from the top down, from the neocortex down to the midbrain. This basically means we (normally) don’t bang each other on the sidewalk or resort to fistfights to settle disagreements at work because our moral, rational, thinking brain—the neocortex—asserts control over our base survival instincts. The neocortex, and specifically the prefrontal cortex, is where our judgment, personality, willpower, inhibition, social skills, morality, decision making, planning, and loads of other functions live. If the brain is a car, the survival response (midbrain) is the gas, and the prefrontal cortex is the brake. In alcohol addiction, the top-down control gets flipped, and the survival, animal instinct overrides the rational, thinking brain. This is due to two different causes. First, the prefrontal cortex loses its strength and volume; it’s like a muscle, and the chemical component of alcohol (it’s a neurotoxin, as in it attacks gray matter or the regions of the brain involved in sensory perception, memory, emotions, speech, decision making, and self-control), along with the consistent deferral to the survival instincts, weakens its function. So the part of our brain that is responsible for inhibiting actions (willpower), making decisions, moderating social behavior, constructing our personality, upholding our ethics, and planning our future goes offline. At the same time, the midbrain—which thinks only about the next fifteen seconds, not tomorrow or next year—
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Holly Whitaker (Quit Like a Woman: The Radical Choice to Not Drink in a Culture Obsessed with Alcohol)
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This view was born of his long years in Islamist movements, witnessing countless young hotheads mellow with time through long-term engagement with politics. Political scientists call this approach the “inclusion moderation hypothesis,” which holds that the more a society democratizes and allows radical groups to participate politically, the more such groups are inclined to soften their rhetoric and behavior.
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Azadeh Moaveni (Guest House for Young Widows: Among the Women of ISIS)
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With World War I over, the decade prior to my birth was universally recognized as the “Roaring Twenties.” Many rejoiced, with mostly young, wealthy people indulging in wine, women and song. Promiscuous sexual behavior and the social use of alcohol became normal to the liberal thinkers who gathered in the bohemian sections of the world’s leading cities. Although political unrest still existed, most people enjoyed the peaceful years that followed the horror of World War I.
The United States, however, has always been a more structured, puritanical and religious country. From the time of the Pilgrims, spirituality and moderation has prevailed. In the United States, the concept of abstinence was advanced by the American Temperance Society, also known as the American Society for the Promotion of Temperance.
This activist group was established on February 13, 1826, in Boston, Massachusetts, and considered the concept of outlawing alcohol to be progressive. The United States Senate first proposed the Eighteenth Amendment to the Constitution, with the intent of banning the use of alcohol. After passage by the House and Senate, on December 18, 1917, the proposed amendment was submitted to the states for ratification. On January 16, 1919, the Eighteenth Amendment was ratified, with an effective date one year later on January 17, 1920. The Volstead Act, passed on October 28, 1919, specified the details for the enforcement of the Eighteenth Amendment. A total of 1,520 Federal Prohibition agents, having police powers, were assigned to enforce this unpopular law.
Many people, ignoring this new law, partied at the many renowned illegal speakeasies, many of which were run by the Mafia. This ban on alcohol proved to be contentious, difficult to enforce, and an infringement on people’s personal rights. Still, due to political pressure, it continued until March 22, 1933, when President Franklin Roosevelt signed an amendment to the Constitution, known as the Cullen-Harrison Act, which allowed for the manufacture and sale of watery 3.2% beer. It took over a decade from its inception before the Eighteenth Amendment was finally repealed on December 5, 1933, when the Twenty-First Amendment to the Constitution was adopted.
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Hank Bracker
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People with high happiness levels sometimes exhibit behavior that is actually more rigid. That’s because mood affects the way our brains process information. When life is good, and we feel great, and when the environment is safe and familiar, we tend not to think long and hard about anything too challenging—which helps explain why highly positive people can be less creative than those with a more moderate level of positive emotion.
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Susan David (Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life)
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When unmoderated materialism is the world's norm, consumer is the product, product does the consuming.
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Abhijit Naskar (Giants in Jeans: 100 Sonnets of United Earth)
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Do you consider yourself valuable? Do you value yourself less than or more than other people? Describe your self-esteem and how you exhibit self-love. Are you vulnerable—either too much or not enough? Do you have issues protecting yourself, and do you become resentful at others’ behaviors? Have you been known for being “bad” or rebellious, or have you been committed to becoming perfect, the good girl or boy in your family or life? How are these behaviors related to and reflected in your spirituality? Does your faith correspond or conflict with them? Are you too dependent on other people or are you too independent? Do you fear you are dependent on other things—substances like food, alcohol, drugs, or nicotine? Do you use shopping/spending or relationships to shape your identity? Do you consider yourself mature or have you struggled with the idea that you are immature? Do you self-punish over loss of control, believing that by managing your life you prove your maturity? Do you have issues with moderation or intimacy—unsure of how to create whole and healthy boundaries in your life? After you have finished this self-concept, set it aside. Much later, you will be revisiting it, seeing the ways in which you have changed, and the new behaviors and messages you will be incorporating in your life to honor that new self.
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Tennie McCarty (Shades of Hope: How to Treat Your Addiction to Food)
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Internet Addiction Test Select the response that best represents the frequency of each behavior listed using the scale below: 0 = Not applicable 1 = Rarely 2 = Occasionally 3 = Frequently 4 = Often 5 = Always How often do you find that you stay online longer than you intended? ____ How often do others in your life complain to you about the amount of time you spend online? ___ How often do you check your email before something else that you need to do? ___ How often do you lose sleep because of late night log-ins? ____ How often do you find yourself saying “just a few minutes” when online? ___ If you scored 7 or below, you show no signs of Internet addiction. A score of 8–12 suggests mild Internet addiction—you may spend too long on the web sometimes, but you’re generally in control of your usage. A score of 13–20 indicates moderate Internet addiction, which implies that your relationship with the Internet is causing you “occasional or frequent problems.” A score between 21 and 25 suggests severe Internet addiction, and implies that the Internet is causing “significant problems in your life.
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Adam Alter (Irresistible: Why We Can’t Stop Checking, Scrolling, Clicking and Watching)
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Conscientiousness
Not every anxious person is conscientious, but because you’re reading a CBT-based self-help book, there’s a good chance you’re at least moderately high in conscientiousness—a personality trait associated with having a strong work ethic and a thorough, orderly approach to tasks. People high in conscientiousness often get particularly great results from learning cognitive behavioral principles and skills. Why? They tend to like the systematic nature of a cognitive behavioral approach. They do well because they work hard to understand themselves and are diligent in applying their learning to their lives. Anxious people sometimes underestimate how conscientious they are, so make sure you give yourself enough credit for your conscientiousness.
It’s important to understand that conscientiousness is not the same thing as perfectionism. For example, perfectionists might spend so long trying to make something “just right” that they don’t have any willpower left over for other important tasks. Perfectionism and conscientiousness tend to be associated with opposite outcomes. For example, in a study of older adults, perfectionism was associated with an increased risk or mortality. Conscientiousness was associated with a decreased risk. There are big advantages to reducing perfectionism but retaining your conscientiousness!
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Alice Boyes (The Anxiety Toolkit: Strategies for Fine-Tuning Your Mind and Moving Past Your Stuck Points)
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Surround Yourself with Others Who Are Already Doing What You Want to Do
My all-time favorite success tip for people who tend to hesitate excessively is to regularly interact with people who are already successfully doing what you want to do. Why will this help you moderate your tortoise tendencies? Emotions, thoughts, and behaviors all tend to be socially contagious. Therefore, if you surround yourself with people who are already acting in the ways you need to act, this will likely rub off on you. You’ll be more likely to take action.
Another key reason for interacting with others who are already succeeding in your field is that many of the key pieces of information that will help you succeed won’t be shared in books or other public forums. They’re likely passed from person to person. You’ll get to know these insider secrets only by befriending successful people.
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Alice Boyes (The Anxiety Toolkit: Strategies for Fine-Tuning Your Mind and Moving Past Your Stuck Points)
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Consciousness arose as an alternative to instinct,” Alice says. “Life on Earth evolved over billions of years. Across that immense depth of time, life explored different strategies to survive. Reacting to shadows helped simple organisms avoid predators, but those shadows could come from clouds or trees. Acting on an impulse wasted energy. And so instinct evolved. Instincts encoded complex behaviors, like reacting to some shadows but not others. Instinct alone, though, wasn’t enough. To thrive, animals needed to understand motives—their own motives and the motives of others within their species and without. They needed to understand how to act in complex scenarios that defied impulse and instinct. Consciousness solved that problem. Reactions could be moderated by experience, by thinking, by feeling, by experimenting, by learning, by existing.
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Peter Cawdron (Love, Sex and the Alien Apocalypse)
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Don't tolerate what you can't moderate!
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Ahmed Ghazaly
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eating in a moderate, healthy way without yo-yo dieting or crazy restrictions you can’t maintain over the long run. 4. Exercise. Stay physically active, even with a sedentary job. Arguably the single best, time-tested way to do this is walking every day. (More on that later.) 5. Adaptive coping style. That means confronting problems directly, appraising them honestly, and dealing with them directly without excessive rumination, unhealthy emotional reactions, or avoidance behavior. 6. Education. More education leads to a more active mind later on, and that means a longer, happier life. That doesn’t mean going to Harvard; it simply means lifelong, purposive learning, and lots of reading.
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Arthur C. Brooks (From Strength to Strength: Finding Success, Happiness, and Deep Purpose in the Second Half of Life)