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Your parents attend every practice and game and communicate regularly with your coaches and teachers. Outside of the internet, there is no place for you to mess around or experiment without their knowledge, encouragement, cheerleading, and feedback. Your grandparents live far away. You don’t know them very well, and chitchat, never practiced, isn’t easy. Your parents obviously prefer you to get your direction from the adults they’ve hired, who report to them. Each day is activity-jammed, presided over by a series of adults who judge your progress. They tell you when you are improving and also when you are not. They communicate the delta to your parents: “Her handsprings are crisper, but we still need to work on the balance beam.” You are always, in everything you do, monitored by anxious adults. You get less sleep than any previous generation of teens—far less than you need.[2] You are so tired some days, it feels as though you are missing a layer of skin. Worries invade unresisted. Many of your friends have tried cutting or some other creative form of self-harm. Whenever you’re down, self-harm surfaces as an option. It’s part of the vernacular: a way of saying, Ask me how I’m doing. Suicide hotlines are advertised more conspicuously around your school than prom. It’s painfully obvious that the school counselor is always sniffing kids for suicide like a German shepherd on the hunt for plastic explosives.
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