“
You want me to say something about Bill? Bill who? Bill Schroeder? Never heard of him… I’m kidding, of course.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
We did pretty well in the ACC that year and we ended up going to the College World Series. Paul Molitor was there, playing shortstop for Minnesota. I caught one game in that World Series, going 2-for-5 at Rosenblatt Stadium against Temple
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
Every time I see Sandy Koufax, I apologize. I always thought I was going to keep him out of the Hall of Fame.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
Actually, I had two career highlights: I got an intentional walk from Sandy Koufax and I got out of a rundown against the Mets.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
The Brewers, feeling the crush of small-market economics and fearing injury problems, decided they couldn’t afford to keep Molitor, whom Bando regrettably referred to at one point as “just a DH.” Toronto swept in with a three-year, $13 million offer. “If Paul Molitor leaving the Brewers doesn’t show that the small markets are in trouble, nothing does,” Jim Gantner told the Milwaukee Sentinel at the time.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
He hit .200 with 14 homers in his career, but four of them were off Hall of Fame pitchers: Sandy Koufax (twice), Fergie Jenkins, and Gaylord Perry. “Every time I see Gaylord, he says, ‘Here comes the worst day of my life,’” Uecker said
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
Ladies and gentlemen!” A loud, brash male voice rose above the din in the bar; it was bellowing and unmistakable. “May I have your attention, please!”
Abe’s stomach tightened into a ball. After more than twenty years of listening to absurd nonsequiturs being bandied about during lulls in the office by the same voice, Abe knew who was speaking in an instant. His longtime business partner, CS Duffy, clad in his standard black Carhartt hooded sweatshirt and faded blue jeans, a Milwaukee Brewers cap on his head, was standing on a chair holding up his private investigator’s license folio as if it was some sort of officious piece of federal ID. “My name is Dr. Herbert Manfred Marx. I am with the CDC. We have an emergency situation.”
The bar quieted nearly to silence. Abe started to move toward his partner. He had no idea what Duff was planning to say or do, but he knew it wouldn’t be good.
Duff looked around the room, taking the time to make eye contact with the dozens of concerned speed daters. “The CDC has isolated a new form of sexually transmitted disease. We are calling it Mega-Herpes Complex IX. It is highly contagious and may result in your genitals exploding off your bodies in much the same way some lizards eject their own tails to confuse pursuing predators.”
There were a few gasps from some of the women in the room and a round of confused murmurs.
Duff continued unfazed. He unfurled a large, unflattering photocopy of an old photograph of Abe’s face. “We believe we have tracked Patient Zero to this location. If you see this man, for the love of God, do not sleep with him!”
Abe walked up to Duff, grabbed his sleeve, and yanked him off the chair.
Duff landed heavily. “Hey, Patient Zero! Good to see you.
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”
Sean Patrick Little (Where Art Thou? (Abe and Duff Mystery Series Book 3))
“
For the next great Brewers team, he can provide a link to those guys. He is able to do that and he does a good job of it. And
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
A little while later, we had our first practice. The first one I ever went to, and they strapped the gear on me and put me behind the plate. My father said, “You’re going to thank me some day…” Lo and behold, I was a catcher from that day forward.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
In the next five days, Bud Selig, the franchise’s proud new owner, changed the team name from the Pilots to the Brewers, in honor of the Milwaukee minor league team that he had cheered on as a boy. Though he was able to change the name, there was not enough time to order new uniforms with the navy and red colors from those Brewers teams of yesteryear. Instead, the newly minted Milwaukee Brewers were forced to adopt the blue and gold of the Seattle Pilots, a color scheme that the team still wears to this day,
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Blake J. Harris (Console Wars: Sega, Nintendo, and the Battle that Defined a Generation)
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When I finished playing, I didn’t really know what to do with myself. I went back to Wisconsin. I actually never left Wisconsin. I was told one time by a very smart man, Paul Schramka, who owns Schramka Funeral Homes, that if you stick around Milwaukee and you’re good to the people, the town will take care of you.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
had been doing a weekly Sunday baseball show on the Brewers’ flagship radio station, WTMJ. I did it with a Milwaukee guy named Chuck Garbedian and Len Kasper, who is now the TV play-by-play man for the Chicago Cubs.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
There are not many who do leave on their own terms. I certainly didn’t.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
Some of us who worked with Bud for years in New York focus on all he accomplished as commissioner, and we forget, lose track of the fact, that he was the person that saved baseball in Milwaukee.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
They weren’t happy with us, but they also knew that Milwaukee was an incredible baseball town. The Braves were the first National League team to draw 2 million fans. The fans were so passionate. But it was an uphill battle.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
I’ll never forget, though, as I was walking to my office after the final out a woman came up to me and said, ‘You wanted a team in the worst way, and that’s exactly what you got.’ I never forgot that.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
meant, what they mean today. All the ups and downs. And they’re all chronicled there. I hope that people that come [to the Experience] will really understand the franchise, what it means, what it will mean in the future, and what we went through to get it and keep it.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
Bud Selig had preserved baseball in Milwaukee, a feat almost as unlikely as bringing it back in the first place. “Of all the marvelous things that have happened to me, including becoming commissioner of baseball, that will always be my proudest accomplishment because the odds were stacked tremendously against us,” Selig said. “There were many times when I wondered if it would happen.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
I lived near him during my time with the Brewers and I would stop by his house sometimes to drop something off, and he’d be cutting his grass, cleaning the pool, or playing with his kids. He was just a normal Wisconsin guy, who happened to be one of the best baseball players on the planet.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
And one of those guys, not exactly a teammate, but definitely one of the guys, he’s here today—Bob Uecker. And believe it or not, Bob Uecker played a significant role in me being here today.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
County Stadium, while it was one of the older parks in the game, had an atmosphere in the summertime unmatched by at least the majority of other parks. The tailgating and the loyalty of the fans made it a great atmosphere for the players to perform in.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
Well, the fans of Milwaukee, Wisconsin, were always tremendously supportive. There were so many days when I arrived to County Stadium, and there would already be 10 to 15,000 people in the parking lot, five hours before game time. I think it’s pretty obvious they invented tailgating.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
Watching him, I learned that you take the broadcasting job one day at a time. You don’t worry that the team is 20 games out. First place? Last place? It doesn’t matter. You just hope for a good game that day. You don’t rip people.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
Yount, who was an 18-year-old shortstop when he met Uecker, and is one of Bob’s closest friends, noticed immediately that the event was held in the afternoon with only a smattering of media members on hand. “God, this unbelievable,” Yount said. “Fifty thousand empty seats. What a ceremony.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
A cop car pulls up, asks Ueck what we were doing. Ueck says to the policeman, ‘We’re marching. What’s it look like we’re doing?’ [The] police officer says, ‘Okay,’ pulls his car over to the curb.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
[Ueck asks] ‘What are you guys doin’?’ They don’t really respond, and Ueck tells them to get in line. And, they do—one cop at the front of the line, the other at the rear. We march roughly two or three blocks from that point, led by police officers, to the hotel.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
started out as a pitcher but changed course after working out for Braves pitching coach Jonny Cooney at County Stadium. “I was throwing for about 15 minutes,” Uecker said. “I thought I was doing pretty good, but Cooney said, ‘Alright, now let me see your good fastball.’ I said, ‘I’ve been throwing my good fastball.’ And, he told me—this is no joke—‘Well, then I recommend you get a job.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
Ueck’s job was protect Bob Kuban, and the band that was playing in left field. They took a break. Roger Craig said, ‘Ueck, why don’t you grab a tuba?’ He dropped his glove, grabbed the tuba, and caught about five balls in it. I remember [Cardinals general manager] Bob Howsam sent him a bill for $116 after the World Series for damage to the tuba.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
They’d never seen anything like it.” Uecker recalls the incident, which was captured in photos. “I was better with the tuba than I was with a glove,” he said. The jokes about his career flow easily, but Uecker is proud of his time as a player and the respect that he has earned from players of his era and today.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
Lane said he was the worst scout in baseball history. So, we decided to put him in the booth.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
All right guys, fun is fun,” Bamberger said, mixing in a few of his favorite Bronx-flavored curse words. “But these hot foots have got to stop.” As Bamberger spoke, an unnamed player—it may have been Rick Cerone—lit his laces on fire, ending the meeting.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
During batting practice Sexson hit a ball that broke a window at Friday’s Front Row Sports Grill in left field. Leftfielder Geoff Jenkins, Sexson’s teammate and closest friend, razzed him mercilessly about having to pay for the window. A day or two later, general manager Dean Taylor dropped a fake invoice on the chair in front of Sexson’s locker. Sexson read it and was simultaneously incredulous and livid. The letter said that he had to pay for the replacement window and that $3,200 would be withheld from his next paycheck.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
During the Brewers’ playoff run in 2011, Ryan Braun stumbled rounding third on what would have been an inside-the-park home run. He got to third base, and coach Eddie Sedar was waving him around and Braunie got so excited that he just lost control, stumbled, and did a face-plant between third and home. He was tagged out, which was bad, but he drove in a run, and the Brewers won the game so everybody laughed about
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
The next day pitchers Yovani Gallardo and Shaun Marcum—with help from bullpen catcher Marcus Hanel—created a crime scene of sorts. Using athletic tape they made three figures of Braun out on the field. The first, affixed to a protective screen in front of third base, depicted Braun running with his right arm up in the air. The second depicted Braun facedown between third base and home plate. The third, positioned about two-thirds of the way toward the plate, depicted Braun on his side. All the silhouettes had Braun’s uniform number (8) on them. The trio even went so far as to tape a bat in front of the first prone figure, which represented a kind of speed bump.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
Every once in a while, when the Brewers are in a losing streak, Bob Uecker will pull out a secret weapon. It’s a tape made by a sound effects company of a man having an explosive—and exceedingly long—bowel movement. Sophomoric? Yes. But it gets guys laughing so hard that a couple of losses or a 0-for-12 streak doesn’t seem so daunting.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
On July 4, 2015, Brewers center fielder Carlos Gomez left a gift for his counterpart Billy Hamilton. As the bottom of the third inning ended, Gomez left a pile of gum and a note for Hamilton that read, “I see you dropped all your gum so I brought you some more.” TV cameras captured Gomez leaving the gum, Hamilton finding it, and both men laughing as a result.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
Joe Inglett He had a moth in his ear during a game. They had to shine a light in his ear and pick it out with a tweezer.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
Midway through the 2015 season, Bob Uecker was standing behind the batting cage when someone hit a line drive off the L-screen in front of the pitcher. The ball caromed into the air and hit Uecker between the eyes before he knew what happened. He ended up missing the broadcast that night and spending the night in the hospital with concussion-like symptoms. “I’m always a little dizzy, but that was more than usual,” Uecker joked.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
One of baseball’s more confusing traditions, at least in my eyes, is that the home team has batting practice first. That means that when the gates open, fans usually see the opposing team take batting practice. That has never made sense to me.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
He retired the side and struck out the final two batters—Champ Summers and Lou Whitaker—to end the game. Bob Uecker’s radio call of the final out: “Good-bye, Detroit. Hello, New York” was an instant classic.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
Pittsburgh I look forward to every series in Pittsburgh because I can get breakfast at one of my all-time favorite “greasy spoon” diners in the square: Cherries Diner.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
chance, I like to go to The Pleasure Bar & Restaurant in Bloomfield, the Little Italy section of town. It is some of the best Italian
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
The Sausage Race Every ballpark in the big leagues has its unique traditions, but only Miller Park has the sausage race. In the sixth inning of every game, five young (and really fast) Brewers employees (or friends of employees) dress in sausage costumes and race around the warning track.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
Cincinnati I love Izzy’s Deli.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
But they all realize that the fans love it and that the sausages are good for business. “My whole family has done it,” Prince Fielder said during his tenure with the Brewers. “My kids were in the mini-race [a Sunday staple where adult sausages run a relay with younger kids in similar costumes]. My wife did it. My wife’s cousin came and actually tore her ACL doing it.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
I remember it was a nativity type setting. An exit light shining down. There were three truck drivers there. One guy was carrying butter, one guy had frankfurters, and the other guy was a retired baseball scout who told my folks that I probably had a chance to play somewhere down the line.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
There is Brett, the Bratwurst, who wears Lederhosen. There is Stosh, the Polish sausage, who sports dark sunglasses and a blue and red rugby shirt. There is Guido, the Italian sausage, who wears chef’s garb. There is Frankie Furter, the hot dog, who wears a baseball uniform. And there is Cinco, the Chorizo, who sports a sombrero. It’s an awesome tradition. Visiting players gather on the top step of the dugout to cheer, heckle, throw cups of water, and handfuls of sunflower seeds and—in one infamous case—use a bat in an effort to disrupt the race.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
I just looked over and saw our wieners in a wad,” then-Brewers manager Ned Yost said after the game.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
At one point Morgan’s eyes reddened, and it wasn’t from the champagne shower. “Basically, it’s just everything I’ve had to overcome,” he said, “just the stuff that people go out there and perceive about me. All my haters, I just want to show them that I can play this game. Even though I’ve got a fun, bubbly personality and everything like that, I still come to win and I’m a winner.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
One year, the Brewers had a problem when a skunk built a nest under the stands near the home bullpen. They actually brought in animal control to trap the critter, and it became one of those light local news stories that TV stations like to deliver to viewers.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
Skibosh ended up writing a memoir and calling it, If You Wanna Have Fun, Go Someplace Else
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
The people you meet at any point in your career can help you down the road. That’s why you should always be nice to people and never burn a bridge. But your mom and dad already told you that.)
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
When they put us together, it was like chocolate and peanut butter. You put us together, and it made a Reese’s Cup.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
We had a call go against us in Cleveland,” Crawford said. “I think it was Shane Peterson, sliding into a base. It was a really close play, and we were deciding whether or not to challenge, and the super slo-mo replay didn’t come in until really late. That was the only angle that showed that he was safe. We tried to pick up the phone, but it was too late. The next guy had already stepped into the box. We got screwed on that one.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
It’d be better if they had the same guys in there looking at video for all 162 games,” Narron said. “I think it was [Chicago Cubs manager] Joe Maddon who said, ‘A bunch of nerds in there would do a better job.’ I definitely trust the umpires, but when you’re in there every day, it’s an advantage.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
When Larrea arrives at the ballpark, he begins working on players’ complimentary tickets. All big league players and coaches submit their ticket requests into a computer system that tracks all the complimentary tickets used throughout the year on a per-game basis. They did that a few years ago that for taxation purposes. At most ballparks the visiting team receives between 220 and 250 tickets for players and traveling staff. Roughly half of those seats, though, are in the upper deck. Some teams like the Dodgers can make things difficult on Larrea by giving tickets in strange configurations (i.e. one in front, three behind).
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
Yes, I am,” Cirillo said. “Are you going to the All-Star Game?” the fan asked. “Yes, I am,” Cirillo said. “Then, what are you doing on a flight to Newark?” the fan asked.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
A few minutes later, there was a really faint tap on the door. I opened it, and there was a very short woman with a baseball cap pulled way down over her head, which made it hard to see her eyes. She reached her hand out, I grabbed what was in her hand, thanked her, and closed the door. I walked a few steps toward the coffee pot, looked at my hand, and realized she had handed me two condoms. There was a note that said, “Enjoy your stay.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
Then, it hit me. I had asked for condiments. The woman from room service—who didn’t speak English very well—thought I said condoms
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
called back down because I didn’t want her to think I was a freak. I calmly explained that I did not order condoms but had asked for condiments. I apologized for not specifying cream and sugar. The woman acted like she had just run over my dog. She was horrified. “Sir, please don’t tell my boss,” she said. “Don’t call the desk. I’ll take care of it.” A few minutes later, they sent me a nice pot of coffee with some toast and a whole bunch of cream and sugar.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
opened my eyes and I saw Dale. He was laying right in front of me, his face inches from mine with a stupid grin on his face and a dip in his mouth. He scared the hell out of me. My first instinct was to push him away. He went flying into the wall and I looked down and realized he was naked. I was in a panic. I started to sit up and I felt a tap on my shoulder and I heard Eddie, who has the most distinctive voice this side of Bob Uecker or Brian Anderson, say, “Hey, Rock! It’s me and Dale. And we’re naked!
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
I turned around, and there was Eddie. I didn’t know what was happening. I thought it was a bizarre dream but slowly started to figure out that Dale gave Billy the key to his room, and my son, in his infinite wisdom, had given Dale the key to our room. These two idiots decided to mess with me by hopping into the bed naked.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
Billy’s bed and within 15 seconds he was snoring. Eddie got dressed and yelled, “Bye, Rock. It was good seeing you…naked.” It took me about an hour to get back to sleep. I was totally freaked out, but Eddie and Dale and I still laugh about “the Attack of the Naked Idiots.” It’s the greatest prank ever pulled on me. Needless to say, my son had a much better night than I did.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
Former Brewers catcher Jason Kendall referred to batting practice as a “war zone.” Others have called it “controlled chaos,” a “beehive,” or a “sporting symphony.” There is so much going on during the session that it’s hard for people to understand the activity.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
I didn’t play a lot. Bill Foley was there. He was a catcher from New York who got drafted by the Brewers. I played some left field, I was the designated hitter, I caught. I remember hitting my first collegiate home run at The Citadel. It went out to right field. To this day I remember circling the bases and I don’t think my feet touched the ground.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
I got the internship. I finished it, got my degree, and passed the Series 7 exam.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
When I got out of baseball, the first thing I did was enroll in Carroll College (now Carroll University) to finish the degree I started at Clemson. Fortunately, all of my credits transferred. I had one year left and went back full time. I think I needed 24 or 26 credits. I commuted back and forth from Hales Corners to Waukesha and got my degree.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
“
they were talking about. I started to worry that I was getting in way over my head. Finally, I asked, “Is there anything I can read?” I was looking for a book like Baseball on TV for Dummies, but such a thing didn’t exist. I remember at the end of the lunch, Gary saw that I was uncomfortable and said, “Don’t worry, Bill. We won’t let you embarrass yourself.” At that point I kind of breathed a sigh of relief. I knew they were great guys and that they would have my back.
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”
Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
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Where Have You Gone, ’82 Brewers, Tom Haudricourt Brewers Essential: Everything You Need to Know to Be a Real Fan, Tom Haudricourt 100 Things Brewers Fans Should Know & Do Before They Die, Tom Haudricourt Throwback: A Big-League Catcher Tells How the Game Is Really Played, Jason Kendall and Lee Judge The Game Behind the Game: Negotiating in the Big Leagues, Ron Simon
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
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had a bad game with a couple of punch-outs and we had lost, and somebody asked Wilhelm, “Who do you want to have the keys?” His response was, “Give them to Schroeder. At least I know he’s not going to hit anything with it.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
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Just as we were getting ready to leave—about 15 minutes before in fact—the phone rang. The Brewers offered me $15,000 for a signing bonus. For an eighth-round pick in 1979, that wasn’t bad money at all. They wanted me to go to Butte. I immediately said, “Yes, I’ll take it.” But I wanted to call Jack Stallings to make sure he knew that I wouldn’t be catching for him in Columbia. Whoever was on the other end of the phone said, “We’ve taken care of that. Don’t worry. We told them you weren’t coming. You’re going to be a Milwaukee Brewer.” That was the first time I realized that I was playing with the big boys now. They had already made the decision for me. When
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
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But Brian has become a great, great, great friend. He’s super talented obviously, which is evident to anybody who watches him do NCAA Tournament games or NFL games.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
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And one day I hit one up the middle. I thought it was going to hit him right between the eyes. It missed him, and the ball was in the outfield by the time he ducked. At that point I think we all agreed that dad was done throwing me batting practice.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
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If you talk about a fundamental difference between broadcasters, going from Jim Paschke to Matt Vasgersian
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
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Bobby Hughes, the Brewers’ catcher who had gone to Matt’s alma mater, USC, hit a high fly ball to left field, and it hit a clock at the top edge of the fence. It almost went out of the park. Vasgersian was doing the call, and his voice went up in anticipation of a home run, and without batting an eye, he said, “Bobby Hughes just got clock-blocked!” It was one of the funnier moments of my time with him.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
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The joke in our family was that when I made an out, he’d move to a new location. If I got a hit, he’d stay where he was. We laughed about that a lot because I said that he probably sat in every seat in County Stadium because I made a lot of outs in the big leagues.
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Bill Schroeder (If These Walls Could Talk: Milwaukee Brewers: Stories from the Milwaukee Brewers Dugout, Locker Room, and Press Box)
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Its royal charter, issued by King James I in 1620, granted it all the land between 40 ° and 48 ° N latitude, from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific Ocean. If these were still its borders, the Boston Red Sox, New York Yankees, New York Mets, Pittsburgh Pirates, Cleveland Indians, Detroit Tigers, Chicago White Sox, Chicago Cubs, Milwaukee Brewers, Minnesota Twins, Toronto Blue Jays, and Seattle Mariners would all be playing for Plymouth.
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Mark Stein (How the States Got Their Shapes)