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Instead, as a general strategy, it is important for you to focus externally when meeting or first getting to know someone. Specifically, observe the person’s attributes, values, and patterns so that you can quickly develop a strong sense of who he is and how he does things. Even though you may not actually feel this way right now, the best position for you to take in meeting someone new is to assume that you’re okay and it’s your job to find out whether he is.
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Michael D. Yapko (Breaking the Patterns of Depression)